The City Of The Magistrate

“I’m hungry, what do you guys say we get a bite to eat?”smiled Spike as he rode along on Twilight.

“Spike, you’ve snacked the whole way here, are you sure you're hungry again?” Twilight said turning to give him a stern look.

“But Twilight,” He moaned “We’re on vacation, it’s not wrong to want to try new food!”

“No Spike, we can’t eat until we get settled into our hotel,” Twilight said, “Isn’t that right mister Jasper?”

“Yeah yeah, what ever,” Jasper yawned.

“. . .you don’t really act like a guardsman,” Dash said, hovering about the annoyed goblin, as the group walked down the street.

“What, what would give you that idea?” He said sweating just a bit. ‘She hasn’t figured me out already has she?’ he thought as the odd group continued down the street.

“Yeah, if we’re so important then why wouldn’t they send a carriage or a cart or something for us?” Rainbow said, eyeing him expectantly. Jasper actually knew the reason.

“Not many folks have automated carts or pony drawn carts here, nothing screams ‘important’ or valuable like riding around in something that most consider odd.” He only smiled wider as the rainbow maned pony scowl deepened.

“You seem like a phony to me,” Pinkie said, as she trotted behind him.

Jasper jumped ‘Wasn’t she in front of me a second ago?’ He questioned himself, doubting his own awareness he so prized.

“Where is everyone? I expected the streets to be much more crowded.” Rarity said as she hurried along with the group.

“Oh, we’re just taking a side street. it’s a lot quicker if a little less well lit.” Jasper chuckled.

“Um, mister Jasper. Sir, but aren’t we supposed to stay on the main streets? I mean, umm because it’s safer?” Fluttershy said in a low voice, looking about as though expecting a blow from some unseen foe.

“Nah, that’s only for really bad parts, besides this neighborhood is fairly nice, and it’d be silly for someone to attack a big group like we have,” Jasper chuckled at the expense of Fluttershy, as they passed multiple town houses, with red brick walls.

“Do we really have to go straight to the hotel? I’d kind of like to get a bite to eat.

* * *

‘What now, your saying he got away?. . . interesting,” cooed the voice, dark and velvety in tone, yet harsh at the same time. The man simply shivered as that voice sent an all too real feeling chill down his spine, even over the phone his boss sounded like he could shred his soul with a idle thought.

“Jas,Jasper will not get away from us, we just lost him in the tunnels, an, and we’ll be hitting up his usual hiding spots, sir,” The man said with a shaky voice, terror growing as it dawned on him that he could see his breath in the phone booth.

“See to it then, the guild would not wish to find three replacements, now would they?” The voice chuckled darkly, the call was forced to end as the receiver froze over, a thin layer of ice coating the phone and connecting cable of the rotary phone.

“What’d he say?” Asked the ‘brainy’, as his compatriot left the partially iced over phone booth.

“Gods, the boss scares the piss out of me! I mean that literally, only reason I’m not wet is it’s frozen!” Hissed the man, rubbing and massaging his arms to get the warmth and blood flowing through them again.

“What the hell is he anyway?” asked brainy, scratching his head as he leaned heavily against the building.

“Do I look like I know?!” Snapped the man, “If we knew we would have gotten rid of him a long time ago!”

“Be quiet, he’s got ears everywhere!”

“That’s absurd, and stop being paranoid. Asides the boss knows how most feel about him anyway. . . I think he likes it,” The man said while shivering still.

“Yeah, we better hurry and find Jasper then, and get this mess sorted out.”

“You mean hang him from the rafter,” Snarled the man as he walked along, not waiting for his companion to catch up.

* * *

“I’ve got the worst luck,” Thomas thought to himself, as a engineer slapped him on the cheek slightly, trying to get him awake.

“Sir, sir, are you alright? You were hit fairly hard on the head after all

“Wait, the ponies where are the ponies, what time is it man?!” Thomas yelled in panicked rage.

“. . .You seem to have received a harder bump to the noggin than I thought, come on and we’ll get you to the break room, and we’ll get you something nice and hot to drink while we get you a little help for your noggin.” The goblin said, helping Thomas to his feet before helping him waddle to the break room some distance away.

* * *

‘Ugh,’ Jasper thought as they wandered into the corner restaurant, Jasper following closely behind the ponies he had to pretend to protect. “Welp, here we are, just grab a bite and I’ll get you guys set up in your rooms,” Jasper smiled falsely, looking about the large restaurant, he sneared a bit the floors were nasty but the benches and tables were clean, he walked up to the counter and hopped up onto a torn, but surprisingly comfy stool. The ponies began to chatter excitedly as a small humanoid hopped up onto the small stage, as the lights in the room slightly dimmed.

“Oh, they have live performances?” Rarity asked, looking to Jasper for confirmation.

“Yeah, Hafling bards are jerks though,” Jaspers scowl deepened as the cheery little man placed the fiddle under his chin, and raised his bow just so, and soon had his companions in a frenzy with his unfairly magically laden music. “Damn ponies, you’d think they’d never heard a bard before,” He sighed, sipping on water and munching on a biscuit, it was the small purple dragon that spoke first.

“What’s your deal, you don’t seem to like being here?” Spike asked, his arms crossed as he frowned at the goblin, only slightly taller than his friend Twilight.

“Jasper smiled a toothy smile, making sure to reveal his fangs just a bit. “Heh, actually I’m a goblin thief, ya know a no good purse snatcher who’s disguised himself as a prefect to keep his old mates from guttin him like a fish,” He chuckled, and soon spike chuckled as well.

“Heh, guess it’s gotta be boring just following us around,” Spike smiled before reaching into a small bag, “Ruby?” He offered as Jasper eyed the gemstone hungrily.

“N,no thanks I can’t eat gemstones,” He cursed himself mentally for not taking it, but he had to keep up appearances, he waited till the little dragon was fully engrossed in his snack before wiping away a tear. Jasper cringed as a fragment of ruby struck against his cheek.

* * *

Rainbow had to admit, this trip really was as boring as she had thought it’d be.

“Oh oh, Dash look at the little guy on stage, he’s gonna play us a song!” Pinkie cheered, looking up from her lettuce sandwich.

“Who cares, let’s hurry up and go to the hotel, I wanna take a nap!” Dash said, before the first notes of the fiddle began to play, slow at first before winding up to a fast paced near frantic beat. Dash soon found herself unwillingly tapping her hoof.

“Um hmm, this is some fine music, and for free too, well ain’t that jus’ nice?” AppleJack smiled, taping her hoof along to the music as she ate.

“Pinkie, oh Pinkie please you're embarrassing us.” Rarity said as Pinkie had trotted on stage and had already began to sing with the jolly smiling hafling. Fluttershy was smiling and laughing along, and even Jasper was caught in the trance. so much so that he almost missed the kobolds that had slunk around the counter, attempting to steal from the ponies saddle bags.

* * *

“HEY, JUST WHAT THE HELL DO YOU TWO AMATEUR THINK YOUR DOIN!” Jasper yelled, he looked about at the room, everyone except him and the kobolds seemed fixed in place, transfixed by the unearthly music mixing with the upbeat songs of the pink pony, currently doing the can can on stage. “Hey, hey dragon boy, HEY!” Jasper said flicking spike on the back of the head, he simply kept drumming his fingers to the rhythm of the music as it picked up speed again, a few lizardfolk had moved forward and began to dance with an elf and a dwarf as humans in the resturant stomped along to the rhythm, completely blind to amateur thieves.

“Now this is good music, “ Spike smiled humming along to the beat. He suddenly turned, grasping a tiny arm in a tight grip as another duo of kobolds made an attempt to pick his pockets and loot sack clean.

“Wait, why you know froze?!” The earmuffed Kobold gasped as its partner tried to pull out a small crossbow.

“Heh, not so fast there. don’t you know it’s not a good idea to touch hot stuff?” Jasper grinned darkly as his hand erupted in flame. Snatching away the Kobolds earmuffs, even as the kobold howled in agony, with an ‘oomph’, Jasper hurled the would be thief into his partner.

“Good music,” Replied the dazed kobold as it lay tangled on the floor with its cohort.

“Gunna warn the others!” It screeched, falling silent, a dazed expression and smile coming over its snout as Jasper reached out lightning fast to pull the earmuffs from the snatcher.

“Hey, wakey wakey jewel breath,” Jasper snickered as the confused baby dragon rubbed his eyes after he slipped on the ear muffs. His smile disappeared as Spike answered back with a resounding.

“What, hey what’s going on, why am I wea- some good music huh, think Rarity would dance with me if I asked?” Spike swooned, even as Jasper forced the ear muffs back onto his head. roughly grabbing his head and pointing it towards another set of Kobold looters raiding packs. “Wait, what’s going on?” Spike said looking to jasper for answers. He had to lean in closely and yell for the dragon to hear what he was saying over the din of the fiddle and melodic voice of the dancing pony as she flipped through the air on a trapeze. one that Jasper was certain did not exist onstage before.

“THERE’S THIEVES, AND THERE TRYING TO STEAL FROM ME!”Jasper yelled into the baby dragons ear so he could hear through his protection.

“OH, there trying to steal from us?!” Spike yelled, “Wait why isn’t anyone else trying to stop them?” Spike said pointing to Jasper who seemed unaffected.

‘Gods I do love my longstanding position in the guild,’ Jasper thought, ‘Or perhaps it’s this badge I picked up doing the work?’ He pondered before shaking his head, he turned back to Spike “You go along the left side, pop off there earmuffs and they’ll fall on their ass, novice’s aren’t immune to this stuff.”

“Right!” Spike saluted, rushing along the left side, underneath tables, patrons stomping feet allowing.

“Now to get to it,” Jasper smirked, sliding a long knife from his sleeve, it suddenly occurred to him that he couldn’t use it, well he couldn’t and keep pretending to be a prefect that is. ‘How to clobber Kobolds without bloodshed, hmm?” He paused, he grinned as he spotted a young orc dancing about on a table, a mace in his belt. Jasper slid over to him waving a cautionary hand in his face for a moment before knocking the table out from underneath him. He picked up the mace, ignoring the unconscious twitching orc, he eyed the hafling, now staring at him with sweat on his brow and worry spread along his face, Jasper silently mouthed the word ‘You,’ back towards him with a giddy laugh. pointing the mace at the halfling with a wicked grin plastered across his face.

* * *

“How dare you fiends, prepare to face the wrath of SIR SPIKE!” Spike yelled as he charged an oblivious Kobold head on, they both fell to the floor with a grunt as they collided, Spike cringed as the Kobold recovered first. . . and offered a hand to help spike to his feet.

“Be more careful, here,” the kobold looter said thrusting a burlap sack into spikes hands. “Take Sack, Loot Stooges!” Yelled the Kobold, maw open wide as he yelled more than loud enough for spike to hear through the ear protection.

“Nope!” Spike smiled as he swiped the Kobolds ear muffs, even laughing as they began to dance with his partner, even as the other screamed for him to stop. Spike happily stole away the seconds muffs before he had a chance to break his partners grasp. Spike giggled and snorted as the two began to sway ever which way to the now frantic music, Pinkies voice adding to the complexity of the song making it much stronger than before. He grinned wickedly at the now panicked halfling bard, and whispered one word “You,” He smirked as the hafling kept dancing sneaking a quick cloth to his head to wipe away his now sopping brow as his arms pressed against his now sopping wet shirt.