Cafe Everfree

by CallMeArtsy

Rating: everyone
Tags: Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Original Character, Second Person, Comedy, Self Insert, Human
Length: 2629

A man who has been living in equestria for three years gets his cafe back through chaos magicks

What happens when a cafe owner wakes to discord bringing him to Equestria? A story that will confuse and entertain you all.

This is not that story, that story takes place three years ago. This story is about when the cafe owner wakes up to find that his cafe is also in Equestria... on the outskirts of the everfree forest.

this story is my own, but I did take a little inspiration from The Inn At The End Of Equestria. by Nobodyslament.

Published 2020-10-08 22:40:00 UTC
Last updated 2020-10-16 17:58:52 UTC

Quick History

Its been nearly three years since I showed up in Equestria, in Ponyville to be precise. T’was some time after Discord was awoken for the first time. The only reason I can be sure of that is that the first thing I saw when I woke up was the insane chaos god a few inches from my face. It turned out that he wanted to use me to cause some chaos and destruction, now had it been a few years earlier in my life I would have gladly joined in on the chaos, but I had opened a cafe on earth and calmed down on the destruction so I told him nah, he was a little shocked obviously. He tried to discord me but the magic didn’t have any effect on me, the same thing happened when He tried to send me home for being boring, so he left me to my own devices. Some time after that I asked Twilight and she did some tests and concluded I was magically absorbent and inert. In non Twilight, after being brought here I became a walking magic sponge that isn’t affected by and can’t use magic, so when it’s directed at me it’s soaked up and slowly dispersed into the environment around me.

After that Twilight brought me to The Princesses, I explained what I was and where I was from, how I already know who all of them were and that I may know some of their future, so that if I do anything outrageous it would probably for a good reason. Following that I went back to ponyville with twilight, was introduced to and made friends with the main six and got a job with the cakes as a slightly more permanent worker than pinkie pie. I keep in contact with Luna, and Celestia whom I will never refer to by her actual name when talking to or about her. Every other day off I’d go up to Canterlot to visit them. But enough about the past, you must be dying to know about me.

Simply put I’m a twenty five year old man by the name of Vincent, currently living about two streets away from Golden Oaks, I’m tall chubby man at just under two mares tall, or six foot five inches tall. I’m quite the cook and baker from a few years of owning a cafe. I have watched most of My Little Pony, which is why I know almost everyone of the ponies I’ve met. Luna and Pinkie are my favorite ponies. Discord dragged me into this world three years ago, since then I’ve made a few friends, a few enemies and a lot of desserts.

Going by the show I’ve currently just lived past Inspiration Manifestation, Rarity was pretty creepy. I went to the royal wedding, it was... Something, although I did threaten to turn Queen Chrysalis into a goopy green stain on the wall if she actually hurt my friends, so that was fun if a bit violent. After that I didnt really join in the bug fighting, except to save some colts and fillies.

Well I think it’s about time to wrap up with the past and introduction, the main story will begin, next time *insert to be continued meme here*

Author's Note

This is the first thing I've ever written for public viewing, so give me whatever criticism you can, good and bad, but not too harsh please, I am a soft boi.

Jobs are sweet.

Author's Note

This story will probably be second person for the rest of it

Jobs are sweet.

Have you ever woken up to a bear licking your face? Because that is exactly how Vincent has woken for the past year and a half, after adopting a female cub from fluttershy, she has woken him up like this at seven forty-five on the dot. With a groggy groan and a half-heated push he sat up and looked at the young bear "Yeah yeah, i'm up Suzanne, i take it you want breakfast?" he asked, getting a happy growl and a tug in the direction of the kitchen. Sighing he raised to his feet and smiled at the bear "Grilled fish and mixed berries for you, chocolate chip pancakes for me, sound good?" He asked not waiting for a reply as he walked past her to start working on their usual breakfast, only stopping to give her a kiss on the top of her fuzzy head "Love you, ya fuzz ball.".

After breakfast he suited up for work, and by suited up, he put on a pair of Bermuda shorts and a slightly over-sized t-shirt stained from years of baking and bear slobber. He walked Suzanne over to Fluttershys for the day, can't keep her cooped up in a one bed apartment all day now can we. then jogged over to Sugarcube Corner(will be labeled as SCC from now on) and dodged a flying pink blur trying to pie him in the face "Not today Pinkie, maybe next time, good try though." He said not even looking back at her. This isn't the first time she tried this, nor is it the first time he's dodged her.

He walked into the bakery and almost tripped over a small pony, it was Pumpkin, he bend down and picked her "hey there Pumpkin, you shouldn't be playing by the door, okay? Now where's mamma cake?" she smiled up at him and pointed to the kitchen. He walked over to Pound, who was playing by the display window and set her down "You play here with Pound and I'll go see your mom, alright?" They both nodded at him and started babbling to one another, as he walked over to the kitchen "Cup Cake you in here?" He asked as he walk in seeing no pony in sight.

A head popped out of the supply room "Vincent dear, could you come here and help me reach some gems and sprinkles on the top shelf? Carrot Put them up there and forgot I'm not quite tall enough to reach without a ladder." She asks as he walked over and did as she wanted.

He walked with her out to the front counter "Oh, your little filly was playing by the door, after almost tripping on her I moved her to the display window with Pound to play." He said as he looked over to them playing with some blocks and balls.

"Thank you dear, now it's time to get to work, you handle the front counter and I'll bake some cupcakes and cookies." He nodded to her and got to work, playing with the twins while waiting for customers to show up.

Twelve hours, four dozen orders, twelve dozen cupcakes and two happy foal later the day was finished and Vincent left SCC after helping close up, he walked over to Fluttershys, picked up Suzanne and went home, cooked up some burgers for himself and berries and salmon for her. Life was fairly good for him.

Clean up and reopen

As Vincent walked into the storefront alone he looked around and sighed, both in reminiscence of the days past working here before being brought to equestria, and sadness at the mess it has become, both from showing up in ponyville and disuse. Glass, dishes and signs lay around broken, he'll need to buy some new stuff. A few of the chairs and tables were turned over, probably from the fall. And a layer of dust on most of the stuff that isnt knocked over or broken "Whelp, time to clean up I guess. HEY PINKIE! You wanna come help clean up? I'll make you some cookies later." He partially bellowed so she could hear through the closed door.

He had barely finished the last sentence before she was through the door cleaning up, tail as a broom and dustpan in her hooves. "Okey dokey lokey mister Vinny sir. Can I help make the cookies?" She said with a smile, a giggle and a partial mane salute.

Vincent sighed, smiled and shook his head "Never change Pinkie, of course you can help." He righted a table and started humming to a shanty he listened to a bit before being brought here. He started righting the rest of the furniture and thinking about some of the things he'd bring back when he reopens, like the Christmas day meal, free birthday drink and slice of cake, and the push it forward tickets. As he was thinking about these a thought came to mind "Oh, I'm probably gonna have to let mr and mrs cake know I'm going to be quitting soon, so I can reopen the café."

As he finished saying that Twilight and the princesses walked in, Twilight was already asking questions "Vincent, what did you mean that this building is yours? Did you make it? Was it made with magic? Or maybe brought here by someone? I think I need to gather my supplies so I can investigate, I'll talk to you later Vincent, bye Pinkie, bye Princesses." She rambled on and started leaving before he could even say hi.

"Hi Twiggles, bye Twiggles. Well that sure was a great conversation, but she was clearly very excited. So, Luna, Celery* since she's gone and Pinkie is busy cleaning, would you two like to know more about this building?" He asked taking a seat on a newly placed chair.

Luna and Celestia both nodded and took a seat, which was a bit of a struggle as the chairs were made for humans. "Please Vincent, I'd love to understand what you ment about the building." Celestia said as she finally found a good way to sit on the seat.

"Well, the building wasn't actually mine, I guess it is now cause its here, and I was renting the space inside, both the café here and the apartment upstairs. I was renting the space for several years before being brought here by discord, I opened and ran this cafe, lived upstairs and had a pretty nice time. No I didnt bring it here, atleast I'm pretty sure I didnt, to he honest I've barely thought about this place cause I figured I'd never get home. I will be reopening this place if I can, I might need some help though." He said wiping off the table infront of the three of them.

Pinkie pie bounced over with a full trash can and smiled at him "Hey Vinny, I finished cleaning up the broken stuff, anything else I can help with? Oooh are we gonna make the cookies now?" Pinkie asked fairly excitedly, bouncing like a paint shaker.

"Well I have to finish standing the chairs and tables, dust the store, and do some inventory, then we can make cookies.... Oh wait I need to check my funds to see if I can actually buy some stock." He listed off all the things he had left to do. He quickly finished righting the tables and chairs, then went to the back to do inventory.

Author's Note

Anytime there is an asterisk, it is next to a word that is ment to be celestia, most of them will be nicknames taken from dear princess sunbutt by 2merr because they are better then I could probably come up with

Oou explanation

Hey y'all, Artsy here. So in the last chapter I wrote about a couple things that Vincent will have at his cafe(yes it's a self-insert, no I dont have a café yet) like the Christmas day meal(or hearths warming in this case), the birthday thing and the push it forward tickets, so I thought I'd explain it to y'all, cause it'll be skipped over in the actual story, done but not written ya know?

So the birthday thing is kinda self explanatory, free drink and slice o'cake, pie or just a sandwich on your birthday, easy as that. The push it forward tickets are special, it's a choice when you're paying to buy a drink and small meal for another pony, that purchase will be put on a ticket and pinned to a board, which anyone can take from if they're feeling down or are otherwise upset, sweet ain't it. Last and most definitely not least is my favorite, rather than being closed for Christmas(or hearths warming) the café is open to anyone who doesnt feel like heading home, or doesnt exactly have a home to head back to, Vincent is the only one working and if you donate a couple bits to the charity jar that's placed on the counter for the holidays, you get a bowl of Christmas dinner stew, vegan for the ponies and other such herbivores, and a mug of cocoa.

I made a blog post explaining that I'd be writing this but also to let y'all know you can suggest any characters to come into the café, theres a bit better info on that part in the post.

Take care and have a good october, the next chapter should be out in a few days, hopefully.

Back to the café

For the first time in a year and a half vincent wasnt woken up by bear tongue on his face, but instead by a what sounded like a loud crash, the scared growling of a bear and a large weight on his gut. After a tough time getting Suzanne off of him and his now slightly saggy bed, Vincent went to see what made the crash that scared the bear so much, with her in tow.

The crash wasnt anything in the apartment, though there was a bit of a mess from Suzanne running through, but other than that the apartment was in okay condition. So he went outside to see if there was a mess out there "Come on ya cute little scaredy bear, let's go find what scared ya." He said rubbing her head and getting bonked in the leg by her.

After going out and searching for a bit, the two saw a gathering of ponies, over towards the everfree forest so they headed over to see what's up. Upon reaching the back of the grouping Vincent saw something unexpected partially in the everfree forest, a building. A strangely familiar building, the building his cafe and apartment on earth were in.

He pushed his way to the front, politely of course no need to be rude to nice ponies, and he saw the main six and the princesses investigating. "Twiggles and the sparkle squad, Luna, Celly, what's happening? I mean other than the obvious building." He asked with a knowing smile.

Everypony but Pinkie, Celestia and luna looked over a little surprised to see me out at this time. Twilight spoke up "Oh hello Vincent, yes this building showed up about twenty minutes ago. I think most of the items inside are broken or at least damaged, it seems the building appeared a foot or two off the ground, which caused the loud crash sound."

Vincent looked a little surprised to hear that "Guess I should probably check on my stuff then huh? Do you guys mind moving out of the way so I can head in."

Everypony looked quite surprised at that and at near the same time asked what I meant by that, even pinkie pie was a bit surprised "What do you mean your stuff vinny?" Pinkie asked hopping up to him.

Vincent smiled pretty widely "Oh, this is my cafe from earth, at least I'm pretty sure it is, sign is a bit worn, but three year of disuse will do that." Everypony stepped aside still a little surprised and he walked through the door.