A tiny foal with a blotchy, brown and white coat dashed through an open field. He had a goal in mind, and it was currently chugging along at a snail’s pace, carefully easing itself along a hairpin turn. Soon, it would be entering the massive grasslands of middle-Equestria.
The Friendship Express.
His one way ticket to Canterlot, and a new life. One that wasn’t filled with parents constantly telling him what to do, along with endless jabs from other foals on his small size, funny name, and strange accent. The day his parents had moved to Ponyville, consequently separating him from all he’d ever known in Trottingham, had been the worst day of his short life. But now it would all change!
Pipsqueak gasped for breath, short legs pumping furiously. The massive, steam-powered machine was nearly through the turn, and he needed to be on it before it sped up again.
“Come on!” he grunted, sweating. Grass became gravel, which quickly became wooden tracks. He strained to keep up, looking for a way in. A single railcar with a door propped open that would-
“Aha!” Pipsqueak trilled, spotting the gateway to his dreams. He jumped, stumbling at the last moment and entering the compartment in an uncontrolled tumble. The unexpected roll took him to the other end of the baggage car, where he came to a stop against an enormous box, covered by a cloth tarp.
It took a moment for the world to stop spinning, but once it did, something magical happened. The world had turned upside down!
Or, maybe it was just him...
He heaved himself off his back and to his hooves, unsteady but unbearably excited at having made the jump. Looking around the compartment, he noted it was empty except for that box he’d run into and a couple of dark shapes in the lightless rear that he could barely make out.
“Well, lookee what we got here, brother of mine!” one of the figures called out in a bemused tone. It took a few steps forward, until the late afternoon light trickling in from the open side of the car lit up its face.
It was a unicorn stallion, cream colored and with a smile as bright as the red of his mane.
“Looks like we’ve got ourselves a fellow hitch-hiker!” The other shape moved forward as well. This pony could have been the other’s twin, except for the mustache and the slightly deeper pitch of his voice.
Pipsqueak shrank back, eyes wide. His parents had always told him not to talk with strangers... and it certainly didn’t get much stranger than this tall pair. Their clothes were strange. Their manes were strange. Even the way they spoke was strange, as if they were addressing a whole crowd of ponies, rather than just him. Pipsqueak was tempted to jump back out of the train and try again later, but a glance toward the door revealed that the locomotive had already sped up far too much.
Not knowing what else to do, he gulped and introduced himself.
“Ummm... hi? My name’s Pipsqueak...” He truly hated the squeak that dominated his already high pitched voice when he spoke. Like his size and his accent, Pipsqueak’s voice was an easy mark for the more mean-spirited foals that attended his school.
The two stallions glanced at each other, trading knowing looks.
“Pipsqueak, he says!” mustache chuckled. “A fitting name for a small pony from a small town, wouldn’t you say, Flim?”
Now, Pipsqueak had never considered himself a fighter, but darned if he was going to let some stranger start making fun of his name before he even got ten miles from Ponyville!
“I’m not short! I’m just... height challenged,” he trailed off. Not his best moment, though far from his worst.
“Now wait a moment, Flam,” the one the magnificently mustachioed stallion had called Flim spoke up. “Maybe you oughtta take a closer look at the young colt. Because I don’t see a small pony standing here in front of me.”
“Y-you... don’t?” Pipsqueak stuttered, staring up at the sharply dressed fellow. No one had ever called him a colt before.
The one called Flam leaned down, staring closely at Pipsqueak and twirling his carmine whiskers before slamming his hoof down on the wooden floor.
“By Luna, you’re right, Flim! To mistake such a fine young stallion like this for a foal is downright... foalish!” Flam reared up, spreading his forelegs out wide and brandishing an expectant smile.
In spite of the silliness of the wordplay, Pipsqueak couldn’t help but giggle a little.
“Nice, Flam.”
“Thank you, Flim.”
The stallion returned to standing on four hooves and regarded the little pinto pony, “So, Pipsqueak, what brings you on board this fine locomotive today?”
“Oh... ummm...” Pipsqueak waffled. Should he make something up? He’d always been utterly terrible at lying, though. “I... I ran away from home. I’m going to Canterlot to make a new life for myself!” he finally stated, summoning all of his confidence and puffing out his chest with pride.
“A little young for a restart, aren’t you?” Flam raised an eyebrow, looking over at his brother.
“Now, now, Flam. We weren’t that much older when we set out, and look at us now! The world famous Flim Flam Brothers! Unparalleled salesponies, traveling Equestria and bringing wealth and opportunity to those who are smart enough to grasp it!”
Pipsqueak raised both eyebrows. “You guys are world famous?”
Flam grinned at him. “Of course! Why, Flim here’s on a first name basis with Princess Celestia herself!”
“Then... how come I’ve never heard of you?”
Both unicorns paused, grimacing at each other. “Looks like we got a smartypants over here, Flim.”
“A real joker, Flam.”
Pipsqueak giggled again. Strange as the two were, they were funny. At least he’d have somepony to talk to on the train ride to the city.
“So, smartypants,” Flim continued, “what’s so scary that a brave, young colt like you has to run away from it?”
“Oh...” The little foal’s ears drooped, along with his smile. “It’s... I just wanna go someplace where everypony won’t make fun of me.”
“Make fun!?” Flam gasped, somewhat melodramatically. “Why, whatever of!?”
“Well... my size, for one,” Pipsqueak sniffled. “I’ve always been smaller than the other foals in my school.”
“Well, that’s silly,” Flim stated, plainly amused.
“Silly?”
“Of course! A small size isn’t something to make fun of. After all, it’s not the size of the pony that makes him great. It’s the size of his personality! Right, Flam?”
“Right! And think about all the things you can reach, and places you can go, that other ponies can’t because they’re too tall!”
“Or too fat!” Flim finished for his brother.
Pipsqueak giggled again, feeling slightly better about it. “Well... okay, maybe. But I still have a weird accent.”
“Weird, he says!” Flam scoffed. “Why, I’ve personally known mares who would fall all over a guy with a suave accent like that.”
“... ew...”
“Kid’s a little young to appreciate that, Flam. But still, to have the same accent as Her Majesty’s own special agent Con Mane? A dream come true for any aspiring young colt!”
Pipsqueak had heard of Con Mane. The Princesses’ closest confidant, world famous adventurer, and probably the coolest pony in Equestria after Daring Do herself... and she was just a character in a book!
“Huh... maybe my accent’s not so bad,” he admitted, grinning, then suddenly drooped again. “But I still hate my name. Even you guys made fun of it...”
Flim and Flam glanced at each other, sheepishly.
“Perhaps not the best name out there.” Flam rubbed at the back of his neck.
“Now, wait a minute Flam,” Flim spoke up, rubbing his chin. “A name’s just a name. And if he’s going to Canterlot, he’s going to need a new one, anyway.”
Flam smiled and smacked one hoof into the other. “Of course! A nickname!”
“Wha-?” Pipsqueak tried to get a word in, but it was far too late.
“But what could it be?” Flim continued, starting to walk around the little colt. “Let’s see. He’s sharp. Asks good questions... like a detective, or a good guard captain.”
Flam joined his brother in the loop. “Hmmm... he’s lucky, too. Did you see the way he tumbled into the car, Flim? Like a pair of dice tossed by Con Mane himself!”
Pipsqueak turned in circles, trying to follow the two ponies who were inspecting him and quickly becoming dizzy again.
“Oh, I saw it! And maybe he’s small... but if there’s a colt with more potential than this little fellow on Celestia’s green earth, I haven’t seen him! Just like pop used to say, ‘a colt is like a good seed, give ‘em a little light and a little love and they can grow to be anything!’”
Flim and Flam both suddenly stopped, grinning madly at each other. “That’s it!” they yelled.
“What’s it?” Pipsqueak held his head, trying to stop the world from spinning.
“Your new name is Pip!” Flim declared.
“Like the insignia on the guard captain’s uniform!” Flam continued.
“Or the dots on a pair of dice!”
“Or the seed of a delicious apple, just waiting to grow into a mighty tree!”
The eponymous foal shook his head, confused. “But... that’s already my name...”
The two stallions paused and stared at each other in shock.
“Well... whaddaya know, Flim! The colt’s right! Guess his name’s not so bad after all!”
They turned to face him with expectant looks.
“Oh...” Pipsqueak gasped, thinking. His mom and dad had always called him Pip, for short. He’d thought it was way too cutesy, but now he was starting to realize just how special the nickname was. He remembered how, every evening, his mom would call him ‘her little apple seed’ as she kissed him goodnight.
Tears welled in his eyes as he glanced back and out the door. The sun was low on the horizon, casting moving shadows on the endless fields of wheat and grass that dominated the landscape. Just now, it had hit him... he’d never see his mom again. Or his dad. Or the very few friends he had managed to make in the short time he’d been in that pretty, little town.
How had he ever thought leaving was a good idea!?
“What’s wrong, Pip?” Flim asked, a look of concern crossing his features. Neither of the brothers looked as enthusiastic as before.
“It’s... it’s just... I miss my mommy. And my daddy... and... and... I-I wanna go home!” And upon uttering those words, the dam broke, spilling a waterfall of tears as the little foal slumped to the ground, sobbing.
“Oh, is that all?” Flam twirled his mustache once again, beaming. “Well, have I got a deal for you then! We just happen to be having a clearance sale on teleportation spells, and as our first customer of the day, you get one free sample!”
Pip stopped sobbing and stared at the Stallion. “R-really!?”
Flim nodded emphatically. “Just picture where you want to go in your mind and brace yourself!”
Nodding enthusiastically, Pip stood and scrunched his eyes shut, whispering home over and over again under his breath.
“Ready, Flim?”
“Ready, Flam?”
“Let’s bing, bang, zam!”
A brilliant flash of green light, and Pip was gone.
Flam looked to his brother, grinning. “And that makes number four! I’m telling you Flim, there’s nothing we can’t sell ponies on. Even their own name!”
“Kids these days,” Flim chuckled. “They never know how good they’ve got it. Good thing we’re around to send them home.”
The brothers laughed together, trotting back to their respective cots. Tomorrow would be a brand new day, with new opportunities just waiting for a pair of salesponies nonpareil... and one young colt with a new outlook on an old name.
