Down and Dirty

by PRlNCESS CADENCE

Rating: mature
Tags: Human, Petunia Paleo, Anon, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Second Person, Romance, Porn, Sex
Length: 8270

Petunia Paleo is used to being covered in grime, but you've got a bone she's never seen before.

Petunia Paleo is a nine year old filly living in downtown Ponyville, mostly digging up ditches in her pursuits to discover rare unearthed bones of historical creatures. You, on the other hand, are some guy who gets stuck in one of her holes, which sucks at first, until you realize that when her parents aren't home for the night, there's another hole worth getting stuck in.

Story response to the UN's recent discussions on banning artwork depicting underaged characters.
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Featured on Feb. 24, 2019. Thank you all for your help!

Published 2019-02-23 23:10:02 UTC
Last updated 2019-02-23 23:10:02 UTC

Down and Dirty

“Thanks for your hard work today! Have a good afternoon!”

“Thanks, Mr. Breezy,” you say, walking out of the local fan shop with your shoulders slumped and your hands in your pockets. You’ve always told yourself that working at the fan store would only be a temporary thing while you got your feet planted in this new world, but more than anything, the convenience of working there has kept you from exploring other options. What else would you do? It isn’t like you have a cutie mark pointing you in any direction of what to do with your life, and without wings, magic or even horsepower, your options for employment are pretty limited in this new world.

It’s been six months since you first arrived in Ponyville, and even with as much time thinking about it as you do, the answer of how you got there never seems to get any clearer. As ridiculous as it sounds, sometimes you wonder if Celestia summoned you out of the blue to save you from being a shut-in mooching off of his parents his whole life, but what makes you so special? It’s not like you hate Equestria or anything, at least not anymore. Sure, the first few weeks of breaking into your new home were kind of rough, but after a while, you kinda got used to the new life of magic, flying and rainbows everywhere.

Of course, the toughest part of living here, even more than all the stares you still seem to get on a daily basis, is the fact that every single day, you have to work with Mr. Breezy at the fan shop. It’s not like Mr. Breezy is a bad guy, or anything! He’s really a great boss! It’s just that the pay sucks, the hours are long, and just how many ponies does he think actually need a fan? Well, he got his cutie mark in selling fans, so this just must be what he’s destined to do forever. Besides, even if you did have a cutie mark, it would probably be something stupid like making card pyramids or watching let’s plays of Minec--

“Whoa, shit!!”

Before you can even complete that thought, however, you end up falling forwards, landing square on your knees in a ditch almost twice your size. The minute you open your eyes, you quickly grab your knee and begin rocking back and forth, breathing in and groaning out your pain while wondering how you could have missed a hole this big right in front of you. For that matter, who even had the idea of digging a hole like this right in the middle of the road? Potholes are one thing, but this isn’t some crack in asphalt; somepony dug this up with their bare hooves!

“Hellooooo?” Loosening your grip on your aching knee for a moment, you turn your attention up to the top of the hole, where somepony stands calling to you from above. “Is somepony in here?”

“Yeah, there’s somebody in here, you dick! Ouch… I think I broke my coccyx or something.”

“If you broke your coccyx then why are you holding onto your knee? Are you sure you know your anatomy?”

“Yes, I know my anatomy! Look, I’m kind of stuck, so could you find someone to get me out of here?”

“Don’t worry! I can get you out!” As soon as she says those words, she disappears, making you wonder whether or not she can do anything, until out of nowhere, you feel something vibrating against your arm, making you pull back in shock. The throbbing pain in your knee keeps you from focusing at first, but after a few dirt clods pop out of the wall of mud by your side, a filly with a grayish opal coat and a dirty blue mane sticks her head out from the soil. “Sorry about that! I was just on my way to find a caution sign, actually. I didn’t think anypony would fall in during the five minutes I was gone!”

You want to say something sarcastic to voice your frustration, but the pain in your knee keeps your attention focused on the main problem at hand. “So, you said you can get me out of here?”

“Yeah! Give me your hoof!” You then pull your hand off of your knee and give it to the filly, who grabs on bashfully. “Or, claw, I guess. Now, hang on!”

Then, pulling herself out of the hole she made, she sticks her three unoccupied hooves into the dirt wall and climbs up the earth like it’s a simple ladder, exemplifying the kind of strength that keeps you from finding another job. After what seems like it took no energy at all, the filly drags you over the lip of the hole and lays you down on the soft grass, shaking the debris off of her coat and mane. You’re a little impressed, but that still doesn’t keep you from voicing the anger you had just moments ago.

“So you were the one who dug that hole?!” you shout, ignoring the pain in your leg to turn on your side and glare at the filly.

“Yup! Did the whole thing all by myself!” She smiles wide, seemingly unaware of how pissed you are as she gloats about her achievement.

“Well what the hell?! Someone could have gotten seriously hurt!”

“But… I was only gonna be gone for five minutes…”

At this point, her joyful demeanor starts to diminish as her ears droop, her head hangs lower and her giddy smile curls in the opposite direction. You’re beginning to feel bad about yelling at her already, but someone needs to be tough on her, right? “What did you even dig that hole up for in the first place?!”

“Oh!” Just like that, her smile is back on her face, glowing wide like before. “I think I might know the exact whereabouts of an equiosaurus, said to be extinct for almost one hundred million years! Actually, in this book I was reading, I saw that they went extinct in central Equestria after the nearby water supplies drained up along with the--”

“THERE ARE NO DINOSAURS HERE!” Your outburst surprises the both of you, making the filly close to tearing up while causing you to wonder if you might have gone a little overboard with that comment. “I mean… can’t you just save that for the experts? I just don’t want anyone else to get hurt.”

“But…” Looking down at the ground, she quietly sniffles, taking a breath in through her mouth while trying not to cry. “...I thought I was an expert.”

At this point, you see a tear run down her face, but you can’t let her have her way just because she starts crying. “You probably are, but why don’t you try digging somewhere where nopony might accidentally fall in? Ow! My knee..”

“I’m sorry!” As you quickly flinch and grab onto your wounded knee, the filly rushes over, pulls her scrunchy out of her mane and slips it over your knee like some kind of makeshift cast. “Did you really hit the ground that hard?”

“I feel like I landed on a rock or something.”

“A rock? But geologists confirmed that there are no natural minerals anywhere within this area.”

“Well, I sure as hell landed on something!”

After a few moments of deep concentration, however, the filly’s eyes light up as she pulls your face in towards hers, bringing the two of you uncomfortably close. “Where did you land? Can you show me the exact spot?”

You’re not sure what she’s getting at, but dragging your body back to the lip of the crevice, you point towards the bottom of the hole, to which the foal jumps in with no reservation and immediately starts digging. Even though she’s not flicking any dirt in your direction, you still need to keep your arm up to block the cloud of dust billowing upward, which you inadvertently ingest into your lungs. Just as you begin coughing to get the dust out of your throat, though, you hear the filly gasp loudly, and looking down to see what’s going on, your eyes grow wide.

“I was right!! Look at this!”

You don’t need to cough anymore, seeing as how the sight you are witnessing takes the breath away from you anyway. In the exact spot where you landed, you see not just some rock, but an entire skeleton of some unknown prehistoric animal, just like one would see at a natural history museum. You can’t believe it, but you have no words to deny it either.

“Is that a…?”

“An equiosaurus! Look! Look! It’s got the saddle joint in the neck only found in prehistoric land reptiles, along with a tuberosity in the center of the skull where other genuses have a pointed protrusion! IT’S AN EXACT MATCH!”

Again, scratching your head, you try to come up with some kind of explanation, but it’s not like she planted an ancient skeleton in the ground to torment you. This kid… may have very just well made a discovery that not even the experts have been able to do. “Kid… this is amazing!”

“Petunia.”

“Huh?”

Then, running up the walls like she had done earlier, the filly pulls herself out of the hole, shakes the dirt from her body and holds out a hoof. “My name is Petunia. Petunia Paleo. What’s your name?”

“Uh… Anon. Anon E Mous.” As you shake her hoof, she smiles wide, making you feel even worse for snapping at her before.

“Cool! I’ll let the Equestrian Center of Archeological Research know that we found it together so you get credit too. This is so exciting! We might even become famous!”

“Oh, you don’t need to do that! Really, all I did was fall into a hole. I’m sure you would have found it without my help either way.” Suddenly, she looks confused, and seeing as how you can only handle one awkward interaction per day, you pull her scrunchy off your leg, wince at the pain and turn towards the direction of your house. “Anyway, here’s your hair thingy back. I should probably go home now.”

With one eyebrow still raised, she asks, “You don’t want any credit? We did find it together, after all.”

“Thanks, but I’m good,” you reply, limping your way home. “I think I get enough attention as it is.”

“Then, how about this! What if you came over to my house tonight to celebrate together? It could be like a discovery party, and we don’t have to invite anyone if you don’t want to.”

You stop in your tracks, secretly wishing that you could run away but knowing that at some point, you’re just going to run into her again. Plus, since you’re the only human that you know of in Equestria, it’s not like she wouldn’t easily recognize you if she were to see you years down the road. Still, a discovery party? You may not know two things about her, but knowing her demographic, it would probably be cake, party hats and her parents showing you home videos of how proud she makes them.

As you finally turn to face her, though, your heart melts upon seeing her genuinely kind smile, trying her best to invite you into her life, making you slump your shoulders as you sigh in defeat. “A party, huh?”

“Yep! At my house.”

“And it’s just gonna be you and your parents?”

“Sure! Unless you wanted me to invite anypony else.”

You sigh again, placing your forehead into the palm of your hand, knowing full well that this means your night is going to be ruined... “Alright. I’ll do it.” ...but it would still be better than letting her down. As Petunia cheers and hugs you, however, you begin to wonder whether or not being polite was really the best choice to make, but if it really does turn out to be party hats and streamers, how bad could it possibly be?

Later that night…

In all honesty, you were mostly exaggerating with how bad your knee hurt earlier. Sure, it hurt like a dickens when you initially hit the ground, and it didn’t get much better after walking home on it with nothing to support you, but it it was never really in that much pain to begin with. In fact, it isn’t until you knock on Petunia’s front door that you even remember that you were wailing about how much your knee hurt earlier.

Then, as the door opens in front of you, you look down to see Petunia uncharacteristically not covered in dirt, giving you a smile that makes you glad you didn’t blow her off. “Anon! You’re here! Come in, come in!”

Upon entering into her cozy little home, however, the first thing you notice is how awkwardly quiet it is. You had been expecting loud music, obnoxious streamers or even just chatty parents bragging about their little girl, but instead, you don’t hear anything other than the sound of the door closing behind you.

“How’s your knee, by the way?”

“Oh, it’s good. Umm… Is anyone else here?”

Petunia tilts her head to the side, scrunching her mouth quizzically. “I thought you didn’t want me to invite anypony.”

“Yeah, but like, aren’t your parents here?”

“Oh! My parents said that they had a party of their own to go to, so it’s just going to be us tonight.”

“And they’re OK with that?!”

“They said it would be fine as long as there was an adult coming.”

“But… I’m the adult.”

“Yep, so it worked out perfectly!” At this point, you don’t know whether you should condemn her parents for being so irresponsible or whether you should find the nearest drug dealer to feed her alcohol mixed with weed… and R-rated movies. “So, even though it’s just going to be the two of us, I got us some orange punch and party cake!”

Finally, something you had been expecting! With Petunia leading you into the kitchen, you look up to see a large banner that says “Congratulations!” along with a bunch of balloons scattered all across the floor. Then, on the kitchen table, there sits a large punch bowl and a large chocolate cake along with dinosaur bones drawn out in white frosting. Admittedly, orange punch and chocolate cake don’t exactly sound like the best combination in the world, but neither do the apple cider and hay chips you have waiting back home.

“How big a slice did you want, Anon?” Petunia asks, grabbing a big knife with her mouth and leaning over the cake.

“Celestia Almighty! Do your parents stop you from doing anything?!”

Again, Petunia looks up with confusion in her eyes. “They stop me from crossing the street before looking both ways.”

“Right… I’ll have a regular-sized piece, I guess.”

Just as you turn your head, however, you hear Petunia let out a small “ow”, and your body immediately tenses up with the color draining from your face. Her parents are going to come home, find out that the two of you were alone unsupervised, and think that you had tried to hurt her in order to have your way with her! Game over, man! Game over!

“Sorry, I bumped my knee against the table,” Petunia says with a chuckle. “Now I know how you must’ve felt earlier today. I’m still really sorry about that, by the way!”

“Oh,” you respond as the color of your skin slowly returns. “Don’t worry about it, really. Hey, do your parents have any rules about eating on the couch?”

“Yeah,” she says, placing your slice of cake on a paper plate. “They don’t have any rules about eating in my room, though, if you wanted to do that.”

Oh, Celestia, you’re going to prison, aren’t you?

“Wouldn’t you rather just eat here?”

“Oh! I just remembered something! I have this totally cool skeleton of a spiny-backed ponysaurus that I found in my backyard! You wanna see it? It’s in my bedroom, so we can have the rest of our party up there!”

You curse at yourself for even bringing it up, but maybe with her parents being as apparently lax as they are, even if they do come home early, maybe they won’t freak out when they see the two of you together. You’re a little on edge thinking about it, but the only thing scarier than imagining what could happen is the idea of telling her you want to leave and possibly ruining her special day.

“Sure,” you say, grabbing your cake and punch. “Why don’t you show me your room?”

As Petunia grabs her punch with her tail and her own paper plate with her teeth, she quickly skips away from her table and starts leading you upstairs, making you consciously look down so that you don’t accidentally stare at her butt. Once she finally opens the door to her room, though, your jaw drops slightly. You had been expecting posters of boy bands, fashion magazines, perfume bottles or even just toys all over the floor, but this looks more like a museum of rare artifacts than it does a little girl’s bedroom.

“Ta-daaa! Do you like it?”

“Wow, Petunia!” you say, taking a seat on her bed and looking around at all the stuff she’s collected. “Did you discover all these things?”

“Yup!” she sings, walking over to a skeleton by her window. “This is the spiny-backed ponysaurus I found in my backyard that I was telling you about! Pretty cool, huh? My parents said I was allowed to keep him, so he’s kinda like my pet. I named him Rex.”

As you begin drinking your punch, you do your best not to accidentally laugh, both to spare her feelings and to keep her carpet from getting dirty. “Does he know any tricks?”

“Not really. You know what they say about teaching prehistoric fossils new tricks. He’s really good at playing dead, though.”

This time, you legitimately need to put your cake and punch onto her nearby nightstand to keep yourself from accidentally making a mess as you begin laughing hysterically, covering your mouth so she doesn’t see your stupid smile. “And what do your friends think of Rex? Do you have to hide him from their dogs when you take him on walks?” While you begin grabbing your sides laughing at your own joke, though, Petunia’s smile begins to fade, making you wonder how you could have possibly screwed that up.

“I… I don’t have any friends.”

Welp, congratulations. You managed to ruin her night already.

“Sure you do,” you lie, having no idea what her social life is like. “Everyone has friends, right?”

“Do you have many friends, Anon?”

Crap! How did she know?! “Not many, but… it’s better to have a few good friends than lots of acquaintances.”

Petunia then takes a seat on the bed beside you, frowning at the floor. “Well, I don’t have any. I bet it sure is nice to have at least a couple friends that you can play with.”

“Hold on a second… What makes you think you don’t have any friends?”

“Look around you, Anon! That’s why!”

You look around again for some clue as to why ponies would hate her, but nothing in this room is anything short of amazing. “What are you talking about, Petunia? Everything here is incredible, and you did it all by yourself!”

“EXACTLY!” The message is beginning to sink in at this point, but her eyes are also starting to grow red with her voice becoming sad mumbles. “I never had anypony who liked the same things as me. Everypony else wanted to play with toy cars or fly kites. I wanted to dig holes. When everypony else was talking about cartoons and videogames, I was talking about ancient civilizations and cave paintings! Nopony ever wants to hang out with me. Their rooms are full of dolls and toys. My room is filled with creepy skeletons! That’s why…”

Petunia sniffles, finally releasing all of her emotions until her body shakes from her sobs.

“That’s why I wanted you to come over so bad! That’s why I want to share the credit for the equiosaurus we found earlier! That way maybe I could at least feel like I have someone that I can connect with. I just wanted a friend so bad… I’m sorry, Anon! I’m sor--”

Before she can finish her sentence, you pull her into a big hug, physically preventing her from saying the words you don’t want to hear. She responds, however, by crying even harder, burying her face into your shirt as you run your fingers through her mane, holding her tighter with your other arm to give her some sort of comfort. You aren’t even doing this out of pity, either, because deep down, part of you has felt the same way ever since you were summoned to this crazy world.

Finally, once her sobs begin to calm down, you gradually release her from your grip, allowing her to bring a hoof to her cheeks and wipe up the remaining tears from her eyes. “I’m sorry, Anon.”

“If you say you’re sorry one more time, I’m gonna get Rex to come attack you.” Petunia giggles, sniffling one more time and taking in a deep breath to calm herself down. “Listen, Petunia. I don’t want you to feel like you don’t matter. I’m just a little nervous being around ponies I just met is all.”

“Do you think... I got the wrong cutie mark?”

“What? No way! I think your talent is incredible! You’re incredible! Everything in this room is incredible!”

“Then… how come nopony likes me?”

You take in what she says with a sigh, rubbing her back while you think of the perfect thing to say to make her feel better. “Petunia, how many foals in your class have their cutie mark?”

“Two. I was actually the first to get mine. Purple Tulip got hers after me. Her talent is floral arrangement.”

“And is Purple Tulip the most popular kid at school?”

“She was… until she started spending more time at her mom’s flower store.”

You can see the wheels turning in Petunia’s head, waiting for that one push where she finally realizes that there’s nothing wrong with her. “OK, then how about this? What is the one thing everyone in your class likes to do most?”

The filly beside you puts a hoof to her lip, but after thinking it over for several moments, she says, “I don’t think there’s any one thing. They like playing with toys, going on picnics, reading comics and stuff like that.”

“You see?!” Petunia scrunches her lips in deep thought again, but shakes her head when the message doesn’t sink in. “All those kids like to do all kinds of things, but none of them have their cutie mark yet. Eventually, when they find the one thing they like to do more than anything else, they’ll start doing that even though they’re probably the only pony in class who likes that thing! You like archeology, right?”

“Yeah. It’s my favorite thing in the whole world!”

“Then do what makes you happy! Of course, you might need to start doing things like going on picnics every once in a while to spend time with other ponies, but you’re doing that right now! This party is proof that you can easily make friends! You just met me today, yet we’re in your room having a party together! Why can’t you do that with the other ponies in your class?”

“Because… I’m a little scared.”

You can’t help but bring her into another hug, rocking back and forth as her heart finally falls back into its normal rhythm. “Don’t be scared. You’re a nice filly with cool interests, and if you ever need somepony to talk to about archeology…” You then pull away to look deep into her eyes. “...I’ll always be here for you.”

Both you and Petunia smile, staring into each other’s eyes without saying a word. There’s a peaceful feeling in the room where the two of you can just enjoy each other’s company, knowing that even though you may not be the best archeologist in Equestria, you can still talk--

“MFFMM!!”

“Oh, my gosh! I’m so sorry, Anon!”

Your face then grows red, burning on the inside with steam practically fuming out your ears. Not in anger… just total, sudden surprise.

“It’s… fine?”

“I’m sorry! Please, please, please don’t tell my parents that I kissed you!”

You may not have kissed many women in your life, let alone ponies, but this was definitely the first time you had ever shared a kiss with a filly who just barely got her cutie mark. Could it even be considered sharing a kiss? She kind of just attacked you. Yeah, that’s a good thing to tell the police. You could tell them you were pinned down! It all happened so fast!

“You probably want to go home now, don’t you?”

“No!” you shout, grabbing her by the hooves, even though leaving would probably be the smart thing to do here. Why does she have to be so cute? “I’m not mad! I didn’t mind it at all!”

You laugh awkwardly, but Petunia doesn’t seem to share your response. “Then… can we do it again?”

“...Huh?”

“You… told me not to be scared earlier… I know we just met today, but I’ve never felt like anypony really noticed me before. Ever since you first fell into that hole I dug, I’ve felt like… I could just be myself around you. You actually came to my party, and you’ve made me so happy all night. Anon… I think I like you.”

Crap. Get out of there now! Make up an excuse! Hurt her feelings if you have to! You’re in a dangerous situation, one that could royally screw you in the long run! It doesn’t matter how cute she is! Just get out! Now!

“So… c-can I kiss you again?”

“...”

“...”

“...Yes.”

Before you even have the time to change your mind, Petunia leans her face forward, planting a gentle kiss on your lips with her soft mouth as you reach your arm around her back, pulling her closer. Instead of running away, you press your lips against hers, running your hand through her mane as she wraps her hooves around your neck. At this point, it’s too late to back out, but even so, you feel a strange tug at your heartstrings, almost like even though she’s a filly, for some reason, you don’t want to let her go. Despite how dangerous this situation is, it’s actually… kind of magical.

Once your kiss breaks, the first thing you see is Petunia smiling, brushing her bangs out of her face as her cheeks grow a bright red. “So that’s kissing, huh?” she asks with a giggle, looking away with an adorable timidness.

“Yeah, not exactly all it’s cracked up to be, right?”

“I liked it.” She keeps smiling and looking away. It’s actually so funny that you burst out laughing.

“Really? You like kissing already?”

“As long as it’s with you. Yeah.”

This time, when she looks up at you, she doesn’t look away, even though she still holds that perfect smile, and before you know it, your eyes begin to close as you pull her into another passionate kiss. Time seems to stand still with nothing else in the world mattering in that moment but the filly in your arms, making your heart beat so fast that you worry she might be able to feel it popping out of your chest. Just as you begin to worry, though, you can feel her own heart, beating through her chest as she pulls you in tighter, almost as if she wants you to feel how much her heart is beating. All the while, you can feel Petunia’s lips curling upward like she’s smiling as she kisses you.

Your entire body is starting to act funny, whether it’s your breathing, which begins to pick up like you’re running a marathon or your skin, which starts to burn while at the same time getting goosebumps. Your feet are practically rising off the floor, your hands are trembling, and your pants are growing two sizes too thin--OH, BALLS! THAT’S AN ERECTION!

Quickly, you pull Petunia off your body, laying her on her bed and hoping she didn’t notice your shaft trying to poke at her from below. Then, rising to your feet, you say, “This was really fun, Petunia! Maybe I’ll see you around town, but I think now’s the best time to--”

“What’s that?”

She then points straight to your crotch, and you don’t even need to look down to realize that your dick is poking out at a horizontal angle, directly facing the filly you were just mouth-to-mouthing. “That would be…” you begin, trying to think of some kind of excuse. An eggplant! A ruler! Your grandmother’s ashes! Anything! “...my penis.”

Of course, Petunia responds by covering her adorable face to hide how much she’s giggling, which only makes your sad erection grow even bigger. This is just like that time in middle school where that one kid thought it would be funny to pull your shorts down in gym class, and everyone started pointing and laughing at you, including the teacher! Seriously, how did nobody get in trouble for--

“Can I see it?”

Her question catches you off guard, but rather than apologizing like you were hoping, she looks you directly in the eye, waiting patiently for your answer. Of course, you were already on your way out the door, but for some reason, instead of leaving, you gulp audibly, nod your head and timidly say, “...Yes.”

At this point, you can see Petunia’s chest rising and falling just as violently as yours is, but seeing as how at this point you’ve lost all logical brainpower, you move your hand down to the button of your pants and slowly pull it off. Somehow, Petunia’s eyelids start to lower, yet her eyes are more fixated than ever, staring adamantly as you pull down your zipper and pull your jeans down your legs. Your erection is still pointing directly forward, stretching your boxers so much that the hem of the fabric is being pulled away from your stomach, and in the meantime, Petunia tries to get a better look by lifting her head discreetly to peak over your underwear. Saving her the trouble, however, you grab the end at both sides of you hip, pulling them down your legs and flinging your erect penis into the air, bobbing in front of Petunia’s curious face.

“So…” you begin as Petunia’s mouth curls into an almost giggle. “This is my penis.”

“Can I touch it?”

Why not?! At this point, you’ll be lucky to be banished to Tartarus, supposing you’re not part of some kind of alternate reality program where everyone back home is pointing and laughing at you. With the nod of your head, you steadily approach Petunia, who shakily moves her hoof up to your dick and grabs you gently, making you shudder from the soft sensation of a female’s touch. Without even needing to give her instructions, however, she begins moving her hoof back and forth, making your eyes squeeze shut as she takes control of your body.

“It’s kind of funny-looking.”

“Yeah, everyone back home says the same thing.”

“What do you do with it? Do you just pee?”

Your cock suddenly bounces again at her cute naivety. “Weeeeeellll, that’s one thing I use it for.”

“What about that?”

She then points directly below your shaft at your balls, making this even more embarrassing than it already was. “Those are my testicles.”

The word makes her giggle hysterically, to the point where she legitimately falls onto her side, rolling around on her bed. “What are they used for?”

And now for the biggest mistake of the night! “Do you want me to show you?”

“Sure!”

Petunia’s voice has a calming joyousness, like she’s completely unaware of anything that could ever hurt her, but at the same time, maybe that just means that you’re the one being vulnerable here. “You know, Petunia, this isn’t something that I can just do myself. I’m going to need your help. Is that OK?”

“Yeah! What do I do?”

With a gulp, you say, “I need you to show me your private parts too.” Suddenly, the grin drops from her face. She doesn’t look scared, sad or angry. Just nervous. “You don’t have to if you don’t want to! I promise I’ll still be your friend even if you say no!”

Petunia then looks away for several moments, obviously debating with herself whether or not she’s ready to show her most private area, but after the few moments are up, she looks you in the eyes, pulls herself up and plants one more kiss on your lips, which you savor every second of. “OK,” she says, turning her body around. “I trust you.”

The words pierce you to your core, but right at that moment, she lifts her tail, revealing her small filly vulva along with her clenched butthole, both of which are more beautiful than you could have ever imagined. Your dick is now throbbing at an unhealthy level, stretching so much that you’re in pain trying to hold it back, and the only way you know how to fix it is by doing what your body is telling you to do. Finally, with your whole body quivering, you steadily take a step forward, approaching the completely exposed foal.

“Alright, Petunia. I’m about to touch you, so let me know if there’s any moment when you want me to stop. Promise?”

“I promise.”

This is it. Unless some outside force stops you, you’re really going to go through with having sex with a little girl you just met. With your whole body shivering, you gradually move your shaking hands to the base of Petunia’s tail, running your fingers all the way down her leg and back up to her round rump. Then, holding your breath, you ease your fingertips to the center of her backside, trailing them down to her filly lips, making both of you jump in surprise to each other’s touch.

“Are you still good?” you ask.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” she responds, and as far as you can tell, she’s being sincere. With another breath of courage, you run your fingertips against her netherlips once more, gently separating the folds and sliding your way inside, making her gasp with one hoof to her mouth. When she looks back at you, you expect to see fear, but instead, the look on her face is more surprised, maybe even verging towards arousal. Just to make sure, though, you slide your finger in an inch deeper, making her back shudder and her eyes close as her front hooves begin to collapse forward, inviting your finger even further inside her hole. You may just be imagining things, but it doesn’t seem like she’s all that nervous anymore.

You now begin to take more liberty with your finger, rubbing the sides of her inner walls while pushing it in further, to which Petunia responds by lifting her backside higher into the air. This may be the first time she has felt this sensation before, not the feeling of having something penetrating her (although that’s probably a first too), but the feeling of wetness growing between her legs. As her lower tunnels coat your finger with a thin lubricant, her breathing starts picking up, growing more and more audible the more your maneuver yourself around her insides. All the while, her inner muscles begin gripping you tighter, grabbing your finger and pulling it closer to her cervix.

Once you feel like she’s started getting comfortable with something being inside her, you run your second finger across her labia, hinting that you’re about to try fitting another finger inside. Petunia then responds by grabbing a hooffull of bedsheets and stuffing them into her face, looking back at your hand while she pleads with her eyes for you to stop teasing her. With a smile growing on your face, you then gently stretch apart her fillyhood and fit your second finger through, causing her whole face to tense up as a cute, quiet squeak escapes from her lungs.

“How does it feel?” you ask, never stopping the motion between her legs.

“It feels really good,” she responds with a heavy breath. “I’m really glad you came to my party, Anon.”

Her words make you smile even wider, and now there’s no way you can disappoint a filly this cute. Quickly, you pull your fingers out of the foal’s vagina, to which she jerks her head back in protest until your tongue runs up her lower lips at an agonizing slowness, causing her upper body to collapse onto her bed. Mainly, though, you’re just double checking to make sure she’s ready for the real deal, and as you pull your tongue away, a long strand of her natural secretion trails between your mouth and her pussy, confirming what you needed to know.

“OK, Petunia. You said you wanted to know what these things are used for. Are you ready to find out?”

“Are you going to put it inside me?” Her words catch you off guard, making you rethink whether or not you should go through with the plan after all, just in case she isn’t ready, but looking back into your eyes, she nods her head and says, “Then go ahead, Anon. I’m ready.” If her words aren’t enough to melt your heart, her smile does the trick, complemented by her sparkling eyes that seem to cause your whole body to tense up. She was already a beautiful girl, but the way that she looks at you, talks to you, smiles at you, everything she does seems to send your heart racing more and more.

Finally, with a stupid smile spreading across your face even wider than before, you grab hold of her rump, angle your dick towards her opening and slowly, steadily, push yourself between her legs, taking her virginity.

Petunia immediately shrieks in what you can’t tell is pain or pleasure, but before you get the chance to pull back out, she reaches behind her, grabs hold of your cock and angles it again, sliding even more of your skin into her folds. You can’t go all the way inside her, both because she’s so tight and because you’re too big in general, but even so, the two of you continue to try as Petunia pushes her hips back towards yours, making you grab harder around her waist. Wetness begins filling her vagina more so than before, coating your dick with warmth while you gently find your way in and out, searching for that perfect rhythm that works for the both of you. While you figure out how fast you want to go, though, Petunia’s eyes squeeze shut, breathing deeply through her mouth as her entire body moves forward with each thrust.

You’ve never felt anything as tight as her vagina clenching around your cock, massaging it with her inner crevices while kissing you with her lower lips. It feels so good that something as simple as breathing begins to take extra focus, just because all the other senses in your body are too overwhelmed with the gratification to concentrate. Once you perk up your ears, however, you can tell she feels the same way, with the side of her face resting on top of her sheets, heaving out passionate sighs.

“Let me know if you want to stop,” you say, noticing how much she’s tensing up.

“Don’t stop! Please. Keep going! It feels so good!”

By now, you assume it isn’t just your own narcissism talking when you guess that this is probably the best she’s ever felt in her life, and if you can just hang on a little longer, you can deliver her her very first orgasm as well. For that to happen, though, you realize that you can’t finish too soon, which is becoming more and more difficult based on how her vagina seems to grip you in all the right places. In fact, just as soon as the thought of orgasms comes to mind, you immediately feel the need to stop, just so you don’t ejaculate prematurely, but the sudden interruption makes Petunia lift herself from her bed, looking back at you with pleading eyes.

“Hang on a sec,” you say, lifting her up and readjusting both of your bodies. “I just want to try out a new position.” Of course, this new position is keeping you from splooging before she gets to cum herself, but you don’t need to tell her that part. Instead, Petunia looks up at you with a confused stare until you sit back on the bed, placing her on top of your crotch and sliding your shaft back into her fillyhood.

Without missing a beat, she immediately returns to her high-pitched sighs, gradually growing louder and gripping onto your shoulders as you bounce her on top of your lap. Her adorable face continues to scrunch up from her arousal with no clue what to do with her body other than grip you with all her strength as if her life were on the line. With one of your hands pulling her scrunchy out of her mane and the other one trailing against her spine, she reflexively reels her head back, taking in a deep, surprised breath and exhales a loud, horny moan. As soon as it’s out, though, she quickly brings her hooves to her mouth as her cheeks grow red with bashfulness.

“It’s OK, Petunia. You can moan.”

“But… it’s embarrassing…”

You chuckle momentarily before running your hand under her chin, bringing her into a passionate kiss. “Lots of girls do it. You have nothing to be embarrassed about. Actually, I kinda liked it.”

This time it’s her turn to giggle. “You like it when I moan?”

“Yeah! In fact, I want to see if I can get you to scream.”

Her giggling continues. “You mean like this?” Before you know how to react, however, she begins moaning at the top of her voice, filling the room with the sounds of her arousal and causing your dick to twitch, making you stop momentarily to keep yourself from jizzing on the spot. Once she stops for a brief instant to see your reaction, all you can do is nod your head, making her smile and scream again while you nearly keel over in lust.

You’re obviously skidding towards the finish line, ready to blow your load inside her the moment she accidentally touches you in the right place, and if you hope to give her her first orgasm before you cum yourself, you realize that you need to make it happen right freaking now. Finding a new position, you press her back onto the bed, pinning her down and humping her as hard as you can, hoping that if you just bite your lip, you can keep yourself back for just a half-minute longer. Petunia, however, is making it extremely difficult to repress your urges as she screams at the top of her lungs, ringing in your ears with her naturally high-pitched voice ascending to upper octaves. In fact, as she opens her eyes momentarily, it almost looks like she gives you a sultry wink before returning to her aroused wails, and that’s basically the final nail in the coffin for you.

You feel a slight twinge in your balls, not making its way out just yet, but you can feel on the inside that it’s getting ready to explode at any minute. In the meantime, you pump your hips as deep into Petunia’s vagina as you can, slamming against her cervix despite how much her inner walls grip you. Her hooves grab hold of your lower back with each moan becoming more feminine than the last. Maybe you still have a chance! Just a couple more seconds! You’re now racing against your own body, which you feel constricting below your shaft, rising up into your body and threatening to escape at any second, but you keep humping her with all your energy until--

“Ah. Ah! AH! AAAAAAHHHHHH!!!”

There it is! With one final plunge, pushing your cock in as deep as you can fit it, you begin pouring semen inside her as her own orifice pulsates around your dick. Liquids stream out of both your holes, gushing lubrication from her vagina while you decorate her insides with semen. At first you wonder whether or not you should be creampieing her right now, but knowing that it would keep her from having to explain how semen got on her bed (or face), you’re willing to take your chances. Besides, she seems to be enjoying it as her whole body thrashes on her bed, twitching every time you feel her insides pulsate, which of course makes you cum even more. Right now, in this moment, as the two of you share an orgasm together, everything seems perfect and peaceful, keeping both of your crotches operating at full blast until they gradually simmer down into a light trickle with one final shot pumping into her womb.

Then, there’s silence. There’s the sound of the both of you panting extremely hard, but other than that, the room is silent. It isn’t like it’s an awkward quietness either, especially since the moment you finally pull your dick out--trying not to let any sperm escape her lower lips while you collapse onto the bed beside her--the both of you smile wide at the ceiling. You may not be looking at each other’s faces, but you can still tell that she’s smiling back at you. Finally, pulling yourself onto your side, you lean over her body and place a kiss onto her lips, cupping her cheek with your palm as she wraps both her tiny hooves around your shoulders.

“I hope you enjoyed that,” you say, not really knowing what else to tell her, but fortunately for you, her lips grow even wider, placing one more quick peck on your mouth.

“I’ve had a lot of fun tonight. I’m so glad you fell into my hole earlier.” Before you can make a joke, though, she cuts you off and says, “Not that hole.”

“Oh, right. You’re talking about the one where you almost broke my kneecap.”

“I offered you my scrunchy!” You laugh out loud, making her pout with her air in her cheeks. “ANYWAY! I called the Equestrian Center of Archeological Research today, and I know you said you don’t want any of the credit, but… are you sure you don’t want me to say we found it together? I think it would be kind of fun for them to take a picture of the both of us standing together... right next to where we met.”

You can’t help but smile stupidly, brushing her mane to the side as you stare into her gorgeous gray eyes. You were so hesitant about it before, just so that you wouldn’t have to deal with her any longer than you had to, but now that you actually know a little bit about her, posing next to her in a picture doesn’t sound like a bad idea. “Yeah, I think I’d like that.”

“Really?! Ohhhh thank you, thank you, thank you!!”

Petunia then engulfs your body into a big hug, holding you with her face against your heart, which again she can probably feel beating through your chest, but rather than push her off like you would have at the beginning of the night, you hold her closer. In the time you’ve spent in Ponyville, even though you’ve found mares attractive in their own ways, none of them have made such an impact as this little filly. None of them have made your heart race like her, and honestly, you can’t think of a better feeling than what you have right now.

“Anon?”

“Yes, Petunia?”

“Will you… stay with me until my parents get home?”

You can’t help but chuckle and place one more kiss atop her forehead. “Yeah, and for the record…” Pulling her face out of your chest, she looks directly into your eyes with a genuine smile that you can’t put into words, and all you can do is offer your same goofy grin. “...I think I like you too.” Staying until her parents get home suddenly doesn’t feel like long enough. You’ll stay with her for as long as you possibly can. In fact, it may just be your hormones talking, but in this moment, you hope her parents never come home.

*Slam!*

“Petuniaaaa! We’re hoooome!”

To the windooooow!

Author's Note

In case you weren't aware, the UN has recently begun discussing art depicting underaged characters as a type of child pornography. Please, help us stand against them in saying that art depicting characters that don't even exist are a means of expression that in no ways hurts the rights, minds or bodies of other humans.

https://prostasia.org/campaign/art-not-csem/

Edit: The petition has been closed, and we were able to collect 17,620 signatures! Thank you to everyone who was able to help!