Fetch & Wyrmsteam: The Case of the Softest Killer

by Ashfur

Rating: mature
Tags: Thriller, Original Character, Mystery, Profanity, Death, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark
Length: 2966

There's been a series of murders across Manehattan! It's up to a pair of investigators to solve the crime... before the wrong mare gets put behind bars!

The world isn't always sunshine and rainbows, friendship and magic. Equestria has its darker side, too, and when a mare is convicted of murder, it's up to the best criminal investigators to solve the croime before the real killer strikes again.

With time running low, and the odds stacked against them, the take-any-case offices of Fetch & Wyrmsteam really have thier claws full this time...

Published 2019-02-23 19:20:01 UTC
Last updated 2019-03-03 22:31:31 UTC

Prologue: A Dark and Stormy Night

Rain. It cuts through the air like a thousand tiny knives, falling to the ground with no hope of stopping. The bitter cold of the night drove all manner of creatures to seek shelter as lightning split the sky and the wind howled in the distance. Despite the cold, wet, winter night outside, in the upper class district of Manehattan there was a party in full swing at a rather opulent mansion.

The warm, welcoming halls of la putain énorme maison de génial saw dozens of guests meander to and fro as they went about enjoying themselves at a high-society party. In attendance were some of the most influential families in the city, dressed to the nines and dining on nothing less than the finest cuisine. Truly, only the elite and the titans of industry were welcome there.

While the party continued on downstairs, though, something sinister was afoot. Had anypony been walking by, they might have noticed that one of the third floor windows had a light on, and the shade drawn to prevent prying eyes from seeing what lay within.

“Oh, you poor, poor thing. You know, I really do enjoy your company, to the point that I have delayed this as long as possible, but I simply can't wait any longer.”

Hoofsteps. Somepony trotted around the room, deep in thought. The unrelenting downpour against the roof provided an almost meditative sound, the kind that drives some mad and some to inner peace.

“What's that? I couldn't quite understand you. Let you go, you beg? Why am I doing this, you ask? My dear, I think we've known each other long enough for you to know exactly why.” A pause filled the room. “Still nothing? And here I thought we knew each other.”

Not a word was said, but the creature being spoken to shuddered.

“I am somepony who appreciates beauty above all else, and you, my dear, are slowly becoming less beautiful. I'm afraid this has been long overdue. Don't fret, though. With my help, you'll be beautiful forever. You are going to look lovely as a part of my… collection.” There was a soft glow as a horn shimmered with energy. At that moment, lightning struck the fountain in the mansion's courtyard, its flash and the accompanying roar of thunder hiding the moment the spell was cast.

The target of that spell, though, was very vocal about the situation. Not that any of the party guests downstairs could hear her.

“No, wait! This isn't what I wanted! Oh, oh sweet Celestia! HELP! SOMEPONY HELP ME! I'M BEI-MPH! MPHMM! MMMRGHPH!” A few tears of genuine fear fell from the mare's eyes as the spell finished transforming her into her new, inanimate form. The room fell silent once more, aside from one, single, haunting sound.

Rain.

“I am so rutting bored right now.”

“Peps, don't be like that. Everypony else is having a good time.”

Pepper Marie Fetch slammed her head down on the table, in direct contrast to formal manners. As far as diamond dogs went, she was unique for venturing far from her pack in search of new experiences. This was not one of them. “Wyrmie, honey, everypuppy else grew up in high society, even you've worked with them for fifty years. I'd sooner choke on a bone than the half-assed smiles and politics this place smells like.” She groaned. “Don't get me wrong, the food's great and all, but it's just too slow, everything is too gaudy. Nothing like what I grew up with. I don't like how ponies flaunt their wealth instead of using it to help others in need.” A dark gray, almost black scaled hand with sharp turquoise claws and a single golden wedding band on it grasped her paw, holding it close.

G'rrhan Wyrmsteam, or just Wyrm as he preferred, looked across the table at his wife of two years and business partner for twice as long. Her sleek black fur complimented her sequin blue dress perfectly in his eyes, and he smiled. Getting hitched to a Germane Shepherd breed of diamond dog was always something he got ridiculed by his fellow dragons over, but as he held her brown paw in his hand and gazed into her brown eyes he knew he had made the right choice. They had worked out a life together, two outcasts doing what they loved: having adventures and new experiences. Ever since they started up their law firm, Fetch & Wyrmsteam, they had found money, local fame, and even friends in high places over the past four years. As for himself, he was a very handsome drake. Dark gray scales with a cyan underbelly and spines running from his head to the axe like growth on the end of his tail, and orange horns pointed down from the sides of his head made him stand out a fair bit, and his wings certainly didn't make him any smaller or less intimidating when he wanted to be, but even his scariest face wouldn't have stopped Pepper as she pulled him in by his bowtie for a passionate kiss.

As Wyrm was released, he gasped for air, stars bursting in front of his eyes. He was always a sucker for romantic acts from his sweetheart. Pepper barked out a laugh at her husband's actions, then upped the ante. She gripped her dress and fused with it slightly. “You know, Wyrmie, this dress is kinda tight and uncomfortable. Maybe we should leave, head home, and you can help me out of it~”

That earned her a blush. Two years of marriage and he still got all flustered at the mention of rutting, or even intimacy in general. He was a big mush with her, and a bit of a hopeless romantic hoping for a happily ever after, but she knew he had the ferocity of his dragon ancestors in him, especially when he was in court. “Uh, I, um… would… like… that?” Wyrm managed to stammer a response out, he was usually the less forward one in their relationship. “W-well, we should stay a little while longer. You never know, they might have some fancy gems, or even a-”

“MURDER! SOMEPONY HELP, THERE'S BEEN A MURDER!”

Author's Note

Oh, I'm sorry, were you expecting comedy? I'm not a one-trick Ashfur. Welcome to the darker side of the world, where the happy-go-lucky attitude you all know me for won't save you.

Strap in, because we're in for a wild ride.

Night 1: Needle, Thread, Dead

“A murder?!” Pepper all but leapt out of her seat as the commotion and panic began spreading through the dining hall. “Wyrm, come on! We have to get to the crime scene before some dumbass knocks some evidence over!” She sped off towards the mare who cried out in terror, hoping to catch a witness and the location of the crime scene before anyone else could.

Wyrmsteam sighed, a puff of smoke escaping his snout in annoyance. Picking up the purse his wife left behind, he made to follow her. Knowing the Manehattan upper class, the guards would be on the scene in half an hour or less. He grumbled to himself, mocking his prior statement in a high-pitched voice. “Maybe there'll even be a murder, Pepper! You just loooove murder mysteries. Why is it always MY days off these kind of things happen? Ugh…”

Plodding his way up to the mare who cried out that there had been a murder, Wyrmsteam signaled her with a wave and pulled out the notepad he always kept with him for times like these. “Miss, are you alright? Calm down, everything is going to be fine.”

The mare, a unicorn of around twenty-two with a golden yellow coat and a well-kept orange mane, was still shaking in fear. She looked up at Wyrm with quivering blue eyes, clearly still shaken by what she had seen. Adding an intimidating dragon to the mix wasn't helping much, either, but Wyrm knew to keep a more relaxed posture for victims or witnesses. “W-who are you?” She stammered out, terrified.

Wyrm knelt down to lower the intimidation factor even more and held out a hand to comfort her. “My name is G'rrhan Wyrmsteam. My wife Pepper and I investigate crimes like this. Don't worry, you aren't in trouble right now, I just need to ask you a few questions about what you saw, alright?” He didn't touch the mare, for fear that evidence might be on her, but she slowly calmed down enough to give a shaky nod.

“A-alright. What d-do you want t-to know?”

“Let's start with who you are, and go from there.”

“Alright. My name is Golden Glow, and I'm a candlemaker here in Manehattan.”

“Alright, alright,” Wyrm scribbled down a few notes in draconic script. “Now, do you by any chance know the victim?”

“Yeah, I do. She-” Golden choked back a sob. “She was my best friend in the whole world, and now she's gone!” She broke down into tears, and blew her nose into a nearby tablecloth. It took a minute for her to calm down again. “I- I'm sorry. I just…”

“It's alright Miss Glow. Please, take all the time you need, and then continue.” Wyrm was more than used to his clients, witnesses, or even bystanders bursting into tears at any given moment, so he was more than willing to wait for her to relax. When it seemed she was doing better, he inquired, “Are you ready to keep going?”

Golden wiped her eyes. “Yes… I think I am. My best friend who I've known for twenty years, Double Stitch, was… was…” She paused, the dramatic tension hanging in the air.

“She was attacked by the Plushie Killer.”

“Oh, sweet mother of Celestia…” Wyrm had to take a moment himself to fight back the feeling of bile creeping up his throat. The Plushie Killer was one of the most notorious serial killers in Equestria and beyond. They were known for attacking mares and stallions that were exceptionally attractive and beginning to look past their prime. From the typed up notes the killer left, they were attempting to ‘preserve their beauty’... by forcibly transforming them into small, stuffed animal versions of themselves. Supposedly the process was painless, according to the mages researching the recovered dolls, but the soul was trapped inside and unable to move, speak, or escape until the doll was destroyed. Yet that too carried risk, as apparently the plushified ponies retained full sensory awareness, so damaging the doll made the soul inside feel that pain.

The only reason the authorities knew anything about the Plushie Killer was that if any other creature witnessed their actions and the killer saw them, they too would be turned, but not taken. According to one of the killer's notes, “The dolls I leave behind aren't pretty enough for my collection.” Truly, a sick individual. And by using his logic, Wyrm realized the night was about to get worse.

“Wait, Miss Glow. You said it was the Plushie Killer, so your friend got turned into a doll, right?” Golden solemnly nodded. “Well, the good news is I heard that the spell might be reversible within 24 hours, so there might be a chance. But the bad news is… she can't have been alone.”

“Why do you say that?”

Wyrm gazed solemnly out the window, into the rainstorm beyond. He took a moment to gather his thoughts, then spoke. “If the killer attacked your friend but didn't take her doll… then who did they take?”

“Oh. Oh, stars above…” Golden swayed slightly, showing signs of passing out.

“Golden! Stay with me. I need you to tell me everything you can, so we can catch the killer. Please, any information will help. What happened?”

“Well, I was walking upstairs to go check on Double Stitch. She had gone up to go check on her pet hamster, squeaky, and hadn't come back down in an hour. As I got to the third floor where her bedroom is, though, I heard voices. It was kinda muffled, so I got closer to figure out who it was. Then there was a lightning strike outside, and after the thunder cleared I heard Stitch screaming for help! I opened the door to her room to see her eyes turn into buttons and her mouth sew itself shut. I… I galloped over to see what happened, if she was okay, but right after that I came down here to alert the guards!”

Glancing over to the door, Wyrm realized that the guardsponies had finally arrived. Good, he thought, I bet Pepper is just itching to get her investigation started. “And there they are. Now Golden, I need you to stay calm, and answer any questions the guards ask truthfully, alright? I need to go ask around and see if I can find any other witnesses.”

“A-alright. Promise me you'll do everything you can to reverse that spell if it's possible.”

“I will. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go find my wife before she gets too impatient.”

The arrival of the guards was like giving food to a starving pup in Pepper's eyes. Investigations like this were what she lived for, and the guards setting up was the go-ahead to start the search! Step one was making sure the crime scene hadn't yet been tampered with. Noting that nothing seemed like it had been moved before entering, she got to work.

The crime scene was the master bedroom of one Miss Double Stitch. Despite the opulent mansion, the room was not a giant open space. A bed extended from the left wall halfway between the door and the far wall. The fact that it was still made meant that it couldn't have been slept in during the day. Right behind the bed was a divider screen, the likes of which are common in Neighpon. It obscured the back half of the room. Pepper sniffed at the air. Salt, the faintest hint of salt was present in the room. Seeing no open salt beverages, she concluded somepony inebriated with salt must have been in the room very recently.

Pepper prepared her personal camera to take photos as she took a step into the room. Suddenly, looking down, she yelped ever so quietly as she saw the ‘corpse’ before her. A plush toy resembling a light gray furred unicorn with an amber mane and brown button eyes lay lifeless on the floor. It smelled strongly of pony, which meant this was either a well loved toy left in the middle of the room for no particular reason, or… by the First Alpha, she didn't want to think about it.

There was a stool designed for a pony to sit in immediately to her left, in the corner. It smelled of a pony as well, the same scent her diamond dog nose had detected on the plush. The victim likely was in this stool right before becoming inanimate.

As the guards filed into the room to begin searching, Pepper turned her attention to the back of the room. There was a mirror situated at an angle in the far right corner, so someone sitting in that stool could see behind the partition. There was a window with the curtains wide open back there, along with a single vanity on the left wall. On that vanity was a small cage, situated in front of the vanity's mirror, containing a single dead hamster, still warm. It must have passed on less than a few hours ago.

Pepper gasped as she glanced at the small rug in front of the vanity. There were fresh hoofprints on it! She took out her personal camera and snapped a photo before signaling for the investigators to come look. They could be the killer's hoofprints! She spent the next few minutes photographing the crime scene, but something in her gut told her she wasn't going to find any more clues right now…

“Pepper!”

“Wyrm!” Pepper strode over and gave her partner a hug. “Good news, I think I have all the photographs I need right now. The guards are going to collect any evidence from the room.”

“That's great! Let's leave them to their job, then. How about we go talk to some of the staff? They might have seen something. And as much as I hate to say it, we need to expand our investigation to the rest of the premises starting now. We have to figure out who the Plushie Killer was actually targeting, as they left miss Stitch behind. Let's start on the upper floors, it was quieter up here so attacks would be less likely to be noticed.”

As the pair strode off, they compared notes, and came up with what they knew so far…

-On May 27th, 1023 ANM, around 9:30 at night, a single, wealthy businessmare named Double Stitch was attacked by the infamous Plushie Killer in her room.
-At the time of the murder, a thunderstorm was going on, perfect for muffling sounds.
-The Plushie Killer always takes the plush of the intended victim, leaving the others behind. The actual target is currently unknown.
-The Plushie Killer MUST be either a unicorn, alicorn, or kirin, as the transformation requires a magic spell.
-There are no obvious signs of a struggle at the crime scene, although the hamster Double Stitch went to check on appears to have died earlier that night.
-Golden Glow, Stitch's best friend, saw the final moments of the transformation, but not the killer, nor was she turned. At the moment she is the sole witness.
-At the time of the attack, Double Stitch was likely inebriated.