No Magic Carpets

by Equimorto

Rating: teen
Tags: Royal Guard, Princess Celestia, Twilight Sparkle, Anthro, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Sex, Comedy
Length: 1744

Traditionally, in Equestria, the carpet matches the drapes. And when the drapes can't be matched, there's no carpet. Unfortunately, Celestia forgot to mention that detail to Twilight.

Alicorn physiology is a fascinating thing. Their manes and tails, in particular, at least those of the most powerful ones, have a tendency to float and billow on their own, as a result of the intense magic present in their bodies. This same magic has, however, very different effects on other, less visible parts of their bodies. Effects that, unfortunately, Twilight had not been made aware of before she had to use such powers. She was not particularly happy about that.

This story is 100% Wintermist's fault.

1908305 on Derpibooru for the cover art, NSFW in case the fact that I didn't link to it directly didn't give it away.

Published 2019-03-02 15:00:01 UTC
Last updated 2019-03-02 15:00:01 UTC

Floating Manes & Burning Furniture

Author's Note

This was spawned form pieces of a conversation I had with Wintermist. That tells you who you should blame for this thing, or at least for the idea behind it.

Floating Manes & Burning Furniture

It had begun with something simple, a barely noticeable feeling that something wasn't quite right but with no ability to quite discern what it was. While she'd certainly felt it as it'd happened, she'd been too focused on the task at hand to realise what exactly was going on, and had chalked it up to nothing more than another one of the foreign sensations caused by the flow of unfamiliar magic.

Once she had noticed, she'd been far too caught up with the emergency of dealing with Tirek to properly think things through and take action, and even more busy afterwards with her new castle emerging from the ground and the celebrations for her victory. Now, finally, she had managed to free her schedule up, and she was standing just outside of Celestia's throne room, wearing a bright purple blouse and a short black skirt, a paper bag in her hand as she waited for her turn to enter.

She probably wouldn't have been as bothered by the whole issue if she'd found out on her own. Still annoyed that she hadn't been told, but perhaps fascinated by the occurrence. Unfortunately for her, and, she would make sure of it, for Celestia as well, it hadn't been until she'd been in close proximity to her all too blunt dragon assistant that she'd been made aware of what exactly had happened.

Specifically, it hadn't been until he'd gotten close to her, he'd looked up at her eyes, and he'd asked: "Why does your crotch smell like burnt hair?"

That hadn't been pleasant. Most definitely not. Luckily, she'd at least had the foresight to make him walk out of the room and lock the door before checking for herself. That room was no longer there, she considered with a hint of sadness at the memory of her old treehouse. Neither was the door. Neither was other stuff, which was why she was there, though at least that hadn't been Tirek's fault. Not directly, at least.

The doors in front of her opened, and a guard nodded for her to walk inside. She did, stealing a furtive glance at the bizarrely dressed pony walking out of the room, and proceeded forward until she was halfway across from the entrance to the wall.

"Ah, Twilight!" Celestia greeted her from her throne, looking up from a bundle of documents held in her hands. She wore a simple yet elegant white dress, with a V-shaped opening on the front below her neck and a cut on the side riding up to her knees and exposing part of her legs, a pair of golden sandals on her feet, and of course her ever-present crown. "What brings you here?" she asked, "I must admit, I was rather surprised when you booked a formal audience with me, you must know we are past such formalities at this point."

Twilight stopped and gave a small, respectful bow, as was the custom for such an event, then scanned the room with her gaze. "Princess, may I ask for this conversation to be held privately? I have the utmost respect for your guards, but I would prefer if the words we'll exchange remained unheard from others."

The four guards standing at the long sides of the room flanking Celestia's throne, two on each side, visibly gave off signs of tension and interest at the request, but remained in their assigned position and awaited orders from the white princess.

Celestia pondered her request, her head titling slightly to the side. "Excuse me for a moment."

A flash of golden light radiated from her horn and flowed like water over the room and the ponies inside it, and Twilight recognised it as a changeling detection spell.

"Very well, Twilight. You'll excuse me, but I needed to make sure it was really you. Guards, would you please leave the two of us alone? I'm sure Princess Twilight has a perfectly valid reason for not wanting your presence." She smiled.

The guards exchanged glances between each other, then saluted both of them and walked out of the room.

Twilight, tilting her head over her shoulder, watched them exit one by one through the door and close it behind them. "Could you soundproof the room as well?" she asked to Celestia.

The taller alicorn did as told, a curious expression on her face as her magic once more cascaded along the walls and doors and sealed all and any passage of sound away. "What is the matter, Twilight?" she asked almost preoccupied, wondering what situation could be so dire as to require such a level of secrecy.

Twilight turned back to Celestia and took a deep breath, steadying herself and straightening her dress with her hands. "Princess, is there something you didn't tell me about alicorn magic? On purpose or because you didn't think it was important, or perhaps because you forgot about it?"

Celestia cocked her neck. "No, I don't think so. Not that I remember at least." She frowned. "Twilight, if there's something wrong then you should tell me about it. If there has been some unforeseen consequence to you taking in our powers then I am terribly sorry about it, but believe me, it was never my intention to hurt you. I would not have done such a thing if I thought it could harm you."

"Oh no, it's nothing life threatening, if that's what you fear," Twilight hastily explained to calm the other. "But, there have been unforeseen consequences. At least, unforeseen to me, as I do firmly believe you knew about it and were simply negligent. You must have known about it."

Celestia straightened in her seat, a different and slightly offended frown on her face. "What is it, then?" she asked in a subtly drier tone.

Twilight opened the paper bag she was holding, and levitated out a crumpled piece of white cloth, then floated it to Celestia. "Do you know what this is, princess?" she asked.

The alicorn grabbed it in her own magic, then untangled it. "Yes, Twilight. I haven't worn something like this in a long time, but I do know what this is." She looked down towards Twilight. "Are these your panties, by chance?"

Twilight nodded. "Yes. The ones I was wearing when I lowered the Moon and raised the Sun, to be precise. Do you notice anything unusual about them? Namely, on the inside?"

Celestia turned them in her magic and peered at the inside. "Is this a scorch mark?"

"Yes." Twilight looked into Celestia's eyes. "So? Anything you feel like you forgot to mention yet?"

Celestia curved her eyebrows. "No, I wouldn't say so. I still don't see what the problem is, Twilight."

Twilight gave off a sound halfway between a groan and a sigh, and rolled her eyes. "Maybe this will make things clearer," she said, as she grabbed the edges of her skirt in her hands and lifted it up. "Notice anything weird or out of the ordinary?"

Celestia pondered for a moment. "...It's hairless?" she tentatively asked.

"Yes," Twilight replied.

Celestia shifted in her seat. "Well, Twilight, I really don't see the need for you to come all the way here to tell me that you decided to shave yourself down there, plenty of ponies-"

"I didn't shave it," Twilight interrupted her. "I didn't do anything like that. Still feel like there's nothing you forgot to mention?"

Celestia blinked once. Her eyes shifted from Twilight, to the panties she was holding, to her own crotch, to her mane. "Oh..." she let out as realisation hit her. "The magical discharge burned them away, didn't it?"

"Yes," Twilight replied, satisfied. "I can't believe you didn't tell me about it!"

Celestia gave a small laugh. "Oh, I'm sorry, Twilight. It's just, I didn't even think about it. Mine and Luna's are always like that, it didn't occur to me that it would affect you too if you used our powers." She stood and lifted her own dress up. "See?" she said, displaying how her words held true to the facts.

Something in Twilight's brain came to a screeching halt, like a wrench had been thrown in the middle of the gears of her mind, and she froze in place. "Princess... I'm seeing your..."

"Well, I'm seeing yours, Twilight. You're the one who started this," Celestia replied, holding up her dress.

Twilight looked down. "Oh." She stood there, motionless. For some reason, she realised, she'd been too focused on what she was doing to actually realise what she was doing exactly. She'd treated it like a purely medical matter, and hadn't thought about the implications.

They both stood there, staring at each other, both still holding the edges of their dresses above their waists.

The sound of a door opening came from somewhere behind Celestia's throne, followed by that of footsteps coming closer. Princess Luna walked in, wearing her crown and a dress similar to her sister's, but sleeveless and blue-black in colour, the cut displaying part of her legs on the opposite side and the V-shaped opening on the front a little longer. "Greetings, sister. I woke up earlier and felt like I would-" She stopped and stared between the two.

The two stared back at her, and Twilight's mind jammed stuck once more.

Luna blinked. "Sister, you hadn't warned me you would be taking Twilight into the harem so soon. This is her introductory ceremony, I assume," she said, lifting up her own dress.

Twilight blinked once. Her body fell backwards, and landed on the ground with an empty thud.

Luna looked up at Celestia, confused.

Celestia used her magic to pick up a small crystal ball from the small table near her throne. She brought it near her lips, as it began to glow golden from her energy being poured into it. "Captain Firewind? I would like you to go fetch a doctor from the royal infirmary and escort them to my throne room, as discreetly as you can. It's about Princess Twilight." She looked down at the purple alicorn laying unconscious on the ground below her, purple hands still frozen in place, still displaying her lower half. "And bring a mop with you as well, please."