Dear Starlight

by Carnelian-Fox

Rating: everyone
Tags: Sunburst, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Sad, Starlight Glimmer, Romance
Length: 1366

Sunbursts writes a letter to his old friend, Starlight.

Sunburst, a student at Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns, has been nostalgic for his old life in Sire's Hollow with Starlight Glimmer. Comforted by only his memories, he attempts to rebuild his bridge with her by writing a letter. There's something more he wants to say, but he can't find the words.

Published 2019-02-26 23:50:01 UTC
Last updated 2019-02-26 23:50:01 UTC

Dear Starlight

Dear Starlight,

It’s your old pal Sunburst here! I guess you already knew that from the return address. I hope this letter finds you well. There’s a lot I need to thank you for, so please consider this an overdue thank-you letter. The sun rises, sets and yields to the moon and stars, which in turn yield to the sun. It’s a cycle and is my daily routine. I’m not going to lie; this school has been tough on my psyche. I love what I’m learning, and I feel like I’m getting better all the time. I don’t have the passion anymore.

It was only recently that I realized why: it’s lonely to be alone. My oldest, dearest friend not being by my side is still so foreign to me. I know that sounds silly, but I don’t know how else to put it. I miss you. I miss us. It’s as though I’ve passed a point of no return, my only companion being my memories of our foalhood antics. All the times we tried new spells, all the times we played Dragon Pit, all the times we tried to make our own secret language only to forget what it all meant the next week; memories are all I have.

There’s this really powerful unicorn here named Twilight Sparkle. She’s got to be powerful; Princess Celestia herself has taken her under her wing. Pun intended. This unicorn actually reminds me of you in a few ways. She’s purple, for one thing. I can’t quite put my hoof on it, but I think she just has a similar charisma to you. Does that make sense?

Princess Celestia is even prettier up close! I remember we used to look at pictures of her and Nightmare Moon in some of those old books, and pictures of her during the various time periods in Equestria.

Enchantments are pretty cool, but they’re hard to pull off. I have to give some of my classmates a lot of credit for having enchanting as their special talent. Having magic in a general sense as a special talent is nice and all, but it can only take you so far. Other unicorns here have potions and tonics as their special talent, others still are talented with clairvoyance. I hadn’t realized magic and spells could have so many branches, like the trees back home.

I miss Sire’s Hollow. I miss you. I know I shouldn’t sound so negative. It’s been a rough semester. I might study independently. I don’t know how long I can keep this up. I wanted to make my parents proud, to make our village proud and, above all, to make you proud. If you were here, I’m sure you’d think of something. You’d probably laugh at me for being so mopey and encourage me to power through. Isn’t that right?

I miss the fun we used to have. Some of the other foals here are kind of stuck up. It’s like the only reason they’re here is because they have horns and their parents have money. Princess Celestia oversees all the exams. She looked at me and told me I did a good job the last time, but it felt more like a formality than anything. Her voice was sincere, but her eyes showed disinterest. It was like she was hiding the fact that the main event she was there for was the select few with reputations that really caught her attention. I can’t help but ask myself how much of this is worth it.

My mom would be devastated if I dropped out. Flunking out would be even worse. I’m barely getting by grade-wise, and I feel like I’m not getting by at all in every day life. Canterlot is nice and all, but I’m just not happy. I’m so sorry about how self-indulgent this sounds. I really don’t want to come off that way.

Remember that time we snuck out and decided we wanted to draw all the constellations we could see? We climbed onto your roof, gripping our parchments in our magic. The fires of determination were in our eyes. It was a tough climb, but the view was worth it. The most beautiful thing about all those dazzling lights in the night sky was that we got to see it together.

I wasn’t sure if we would be able to distinguish all the constellations, but once I say that the fire in your eyes didn’t even waver a bit, I got my spunk back. We spent hours up there. The time seemed to slip away from our hooves, like ash in the wind. Nighttime is so mysterious and mystical. I wonder if that’s because ponies are daytime creatures. Do nocturnal beings think the same thing about the day? This was the discourse of our discussion while we were plotting and drawing. You had said that they probably did think that way because we wonder about what is usually just out of reach.

Then you and I wanted to write a spell where we would be able to function normally on no sleep and test our hypothesis. Soon enough, I was doing research on Starswirl the Bearded’s work and you were trying to wing it, trial by fire. I miss those stars. That sky was always gorgeous. The world we lived in was gorgeous. The world I live in now is probably beautiful in different ways, but I’m just run so ragged in school that I don’t have the time or energy to appreciate it. It’s kind of tragic, because I want to love it all.

My muzzle is buried in a textbook nowadays. I like my study material for magical philosophy, but I think the professor for it has some screws loose. Divination is hard, but I like the lore behind the various tarot cards. The Star reminds me of you, and I’m not just saying that because your name is Starlight Glimmer. The Star will often represent both practical ability and intuitive thought. If anypony asked me, I’d say it suits you to a “T”. Why? Because it’s you. When we were together, it felt like nothing could go wrong, and even the stuff that did go wrong turned out alright. It’s the smaller things in life that turn out to be the most important. The smaller stuff makes us happy in the end.

Our lives are so finite. The finality of it all is why we can appreciate anything. Whenever I was with you, I didn’t take anything but our limited time together for granted. Taking that time for granted was my greatest mistake. It feels like I’m desperate to hold onto memories now, trying to relive our good times together in my head and pretending it’s happening in real time. Memories really are all I have.

I hope this letter finds you well, Starlight. I miss you. Hopefully, we’ll be able to see each other soon.

Your pal,

Sunburst

Sunburst set his quill down into his ink well and held the letter in his magical aura as the last letters dried on the parchment. Rereading his writing, his eyes held inklings of apathy and dissatisfaction. It was heartfelt and sincere, but it didn’t quite hit the nail on the head. He wasn’t sure what he wanted to say to her, but somehow, this wasn’t it. What could he say to her? Did she even remember him?

His head and torso felt like lead. Gravity and exhaustion conspired to bring his face to his desk. Sunburst’s eyes felt heavy and he would notice his vision blur if he started to lose focus, even with his glasses on. He wondered what Starlight would say about his new glasses. Would she think they looked cute? Had he looked dorky? Deep down, he yearned for an answer, no matter what it would have been.

“Rrraaaaaagh!” the colt yelled in frustration as he crumpled up the letter in his magic, flinging it to the overflowing waste basket to join previous drafts. Why couldn’t he do this right? Lately, it felt like he couldn’t do anything right. All he wanted in that moment was his dear Starlight.