Sunset let her feet dangle from the overhang of her apartment. She hadn't had the money to afford some fancy high-rise, but with her building being the only apartment in the area, she had a good view of the area. The school in the distance, almost invisible through the thick fog that had accompanied the light rain slowly beating down. Sunset had always liked the rain, it felt right somehow. As if the world was baptizing her, letting her feel like she had made true progress in her quest to make amends. Or, at least, it did. She hunched over a but, flicking her hood up to keep the rain from her face as she began to mutter to herself. "Fat lot of good turning over a new leaf did though." Sunset kicked her feet back and forth over the edge, trying to lose herself in the rain.
Her phone beeped in her pocket, ruining her meditation. She didn't bother to check it, instead standing up to look over the city. "I could go back to being a bitch." She began walking the edge, moving her arms with her thoughts. "I could pull out my old info, track down my old sources. The school would never know what hit it." Sunset spun in place, facing the other way and continuing her walk. "It wouldn't even be that hard. I have that stuff on Cranky I got from Gilda, the stuff on Gilda I got from Hoops. I could set off this powder keg of a school and make it so they were so busy fighting each other I got to be left alone."
Sunset's phone rang again, and she rolled her eyes. "And maybe I'd stop getting all these annoying notifications." She sat back down, letting her head lay limp. "But I can't. Not really anyways." Sunset let out a heavy breath and thought of her only true friend. "Twilight would never forgive me." She kicked her feet again, and it wasn't long until one of her ratty old shoes fell off. She watched as it rolled through the air. It had the grace of a ballerina as the wind kept it spinning and rolling.
Sunset watched as it slowly hit the ground. It was hard to see as it bounced, but she kept it clearly in her sight as it rolled to a stop in the street. A moment later a car sped by, knocking the shoe out of sight. With a sigh, Sunset resumed her monologue. "Yeah, the Princess would never forgive me. I'd just be the prodigal daughter all over again." She thought for a moment. "She'll probably forgive this though. It's not like I'm hurting anyone else. Besides, it'll probably help her too." Another beep from her phone, this time swiftly followed by a ringtone. Sunset listened to it for a moment, before fishing the phone out of her pocket. She didn't bother checking the I.D., tossing it over the edge without a second glance.
"Besides, Celestia would probably show up if I did that. And I don't really want to see her again." Sunset looked over the street, watching cars pass her by without slowing down. "After what I did... I don't deserve it. Even if I was allowed back..." Sunset lapsed into silence, letting the rain drown out her thoughts. She didn't try to stop the worst of them, letting her mind fill up with all of her past sins. She remembered all the people she humiliated, all the relationships she ended. In light of all those actions, she could hardly blame the school for hoisting the blame on her. She had dug her own grave. All that was left to do was lie in it.
She stood up, letting the puddled rainwater soak her sock. "I came out here for a reason, and I'm getting distracted." She looked over the roof, before letting out a shrug. "Though I guess this is something I can distract myself from. Not like I have anywhere else to go." She walked to the small table she had set up here long ago. A bouquet of umbrellas protecting both the table and one chair from the rain. She opened the lone object on the table, grabbing a pen before penning a note in her journal. She did so quickly, and with rehearsed ease as if she had done it a million times before. Mostly because she had. After all, Celestia herself had told Sunset that practice makes perfect.
Sunset smiled at the memory of the lesson. A classroom she would never see again, and a lesson she had forgotten for the longest time. A forgotten pony remembering a forgotten class. The morbid nature of the memory made Sunset let out a chuckle. "Well, ain't that a metaphor. A ghost of a pony remembering a lost lesson. Bet that'd make a good report. If I still wrote to Celestia it might make her smile in that distant way. She would sit down and say that nopony is ever forgotten. Pah!" Sunset tossed her pen behind her, letting it lie on the cement of the roof. "Nopony is forgotten, and yet here I am in a foreign world all alone. No mail besides from the princess who saved me."
Sunset moved back to the edge, taking a few deep breaths. "So if I'm making a choice, I guess this is it." She glanced down the roof, looking to the cement below. "I checked, this is an eight-story fall. I shouldn't suffer." Sunset began glancing down as she walked over the edge. "Besides, if the people at school keep this up I'd just go slower anyways." She began rubbing at her arm, large bruises hidden under black fleece. "So I guess this is it."
She stopped pacing, letting the wind send her hoodie into a fluttering mess. She stopped as a car stopped in front of her building. She waited for the person to run inside, and the car peeled off again, heading to the parking garage. Sunset frowned. "I was really hoping no one would see..." She took a half-step back, doubting her current course of action. "Maybe I'll just..."
She shook her head, stepping back up to the edge. "No, it's now or never. Everyone will be happier anyway. Twilight can focus on Equestria, and the school won't have their resident demon to deal with." She thought about sitting down, letting her body relax for a moment before she jumped. She decided against it, taking a single step forward instead. With closed eyes, she felt the wind rush up around her.
Author's Note
Alright, so let me give you guys a runner. A long-ass time ago I tried to tie myself a neat little Colombian necktie. As you can guess I didn't really die, but I decided I should write something based on how I tried. Enter this story. It might not be the way some people tried, and it may not be as pretty or tragic as people want, but it's pretty close to how I tried. Ignoring the seriousness of what I was about to do, and ranting about subjects I felt were related as I tried to work up the nerve. So if your worried about someone take note of little things, and worry if they start making a big schedule despite being disorderly as all get-out.
So if you don't like how I portray this, then fine. I'm writing and publishing this more to come to terms with the past, and maybe teach folks that suicide isn't always as tragic as people want. Sometimes it's a choice. A wrong choice, but one the person feels is right, and as such it's not the tear-filled tragedy people think. It can be a darker, more subtle evil. The to-do list from hell, and executed as such.
