Burning, Neon Green, and very Painful
It was just another stab wound to the heart.
Twilight had been lying on her bed absentmindedly scrolling through her friends’ blogs one summer afternoon when a particular post popped out to her. On the surface there wasn't anything bad about this post. In fact, it was fairly positive all around. It was of a personal nature, but those few innocent- or, not so innocent- lines of text still soured her mood.
Not that she was in too good of a mood anyway. It was a quiet Saturday night spent alone in her room in an empty house. No plans, no schedule, no structure... basically hell, and a lonesome hell at that. All of Twilight’s friends were varying states of busy, some clearly more so than others.
Fluttershy was working a double shift at the animal shelter. Applejack was in the city at some farming conference. Pinkie Pie was doing something that wasn't adequately explained which usually meant she was planning a party of some sort and was scoping out locations and materials of which any information could be a spoiler. Rainbow Dash was on a date with Spitfire as she usually was on Saturday nights. Rarity and Sunset were studying together.
Actually, scratch that. Not much studying was going on, clearly.
Twilight tossed the phone to the side of her bed and pressed her palms over her glasses, sighing.
“Great...” she murmured, slamming the backs of her hands into her pillow.
Fluttershy, Pinkie, Rainbow, Sunset, and Rarity all ran various types of blogs. Fluttershy had cute animals and artwork, Pinkie showcased LGBTQ positivity and mood boards and memes, Rainbow showcased a bunch of stuff for sports teams and rock bands, Sunset just basically ran a personal journal but with some memes (mostly from Pinkie’s blog), and Rarity was an aesthetics queen. Applejack actually did have one but she never used it, and Twilight only followed the other girls. All in all it was a fairly broad spectrum, and Twilight figured browsing through would kill an hour.
Of course, she didn't count on the contents of Rarity and Sunset’s being what they were.
Her phone screen showed one seemingly innocuous post that to anyone else might have filled them with vicarious happiness, pride for their friend’s newfound experience, but to Twilight just caused a pit to settle firmly in the base of her stomach. It twisted, burrowed, curled, burned, and stung inside her gut.
rare-indeed just posted!
“So... not to be horny on main... but I just had my first sexual experience with another girl!!! <3 #bipride #sapphicsaturday #wlw”
Yeah. “Studying.” Surely that's what Rarity was doing considering she just posted that.
A short blip sounded on the device, and Twilight knew it would be a bad idea to see what it was. And yet, a morbid, masochistic curiosity set in place and drove her hands to act of their own accord, forcing herself to read the next one.
rare-indeed just posted!
“And I'm about to have my second one ;)”
Twilight’s hand merely relaxed its grip and fell as the clear inference made itself known in her mind. The phone simply bounced off her chest and landed in the crook of her elbow, screen reflecting just outside the field of vision presented by her glasses.
Rarity and Sunset had been close friends for years now: physically and intimately close, but always on a platonic level. True, Sunset’s sexual inclinations typically stayed fixed on females, but those were usually equine in nature. And, also true, Rarity’s proclivities were predominantly male, as she was always on the lookout for her proverbial prince. But it would be a lie to say that her desires were purely heterosexual in nature.
However, after Rarity’s recent revelation of the full spectrum of her attractions, she and Sunset had started to spend just slightly more time together. Twilight doubted any of the others noticed, but considering Rarity was for all intents and purposes her roommate for the time being, the fashionista’s schedule was inexplicably integrated into Twilight’s own.
Twilight glanced over at the oddly placed desk disrupting feng shui in the corner of her room that had Rarity’s laptop and a tablet on top. This was the one she used for sketching out ideas for suits and dresses; the one she used for homework was currently absent. It was probably sitting unused in Sunset’s apartment.
The suddenly disgruntled teenager rolled over, sending her glasses slightly askew. She grunted and slipped off the offending eyepiece, setting it over onto her side table. It wasn't as if she was going to be using her eyesight anyway, if the misty liquid forming could attest to.
The offending voice that haunted her once upon a time was silent, thanks in no small part to the pills sitting at her desk. But in its absence Twilight could still hear what would have been said. She could still envision the mocking voice, insulting her for crying over something as silly as a little crush. Or, well, a big crush.
Actually it was two big crushes.
Actually they were a bit more than crushes. Quite a bit more.
Twilight’s feelings for Rainbow Dash were once romantic, but after their failed attempt at a dating relationship, they mutually decided they were better off as friends. In fact, the two were basically sisters now, in all but biology. True, Shining Armor existed and Scootaloo was all but adopted by Bow and Windy now, but sisters they were not.
Pinkie, Twilight was very close friends with. And Fluttershy too. Both girls were very affectionate with Twilight, and she with them. But that's it. They were friends, who happened to hold hands and cuddle and various actions like that, but they also behaved similarly with Applejack and Rarity, respectively, and no romantic attachments existed between either pair.
And Applejack herself, Twilight definitely found to be attractive, as well as a very dedicated and solid friend. However, despite being as gay as the day was long and then some, Twilight couldn't find herself to engage romantically with the farmer in any capacity even if AJ wasn’t straight as the day was long and then some.
Then there were Sunset and Rarity.
Sunset was one story. From the day they first met, Twilight had always found herself infatuated with the girl. Of course when she found out the girl was actually a unicorn from an alternate dimension of magic talking ponies who used rainbows made of friendship to not-kill gods of chaos and queens of nightmare bug armies, that was certainly a trip and a half that caused a very small identity crisis that basically consisted of horrifyingly asking herself the question “DO I WANT TO FUCK A HORSE?” at three thirty in the morning.
Still, despite occupying an equine-shaped body while through the mirror, Sunset was very much human. She just... used a different word. It was a fascinating subject Twilight wished she could write a dissertation for in the field of philosophy on what makes us human, but unfortunately due to the need to keep Equestria anonymous from the rest of the world she couldn't do any better than to allegorically use sapiently intelligent aliens in that hypothetical paper for an irrelevant unnecessary “field” of “science”. Regardless, Sunset was still human, but the whole Horse thing just made her more... unique.
It didn't help she was nice, too. And radiant. And charming, with an infectious smile and a confident attitude and a pleasant demeanor and a fierce determination to do right by her friends and pretty much anyone else. Also her propensity for wearing leather, the fact she drives a big sexy motorcycle, absolutely shreds on the guitar, and can paint masterpieces when given enough time, and her capacities for love, forgiveness, acceptance, and tolerance just added to the portrait of awesome lady.
Oh yeah, she was hot too. Can't forget that pretty big staple of attraction. Sunset was really cute and even now after years and years of friendship Twilight found herself turning away so as not to stare, a heavy blush staining her cheeks. It didn't help she had a penchant for wearing revealing clothing and an overall lack of care about human conventions of modesty.
Her hair was voluminous and fluffy, layers of scarlet and cadmium falling in waves and waves around her shoulders. Her eyes were the color of mighty glaciers, but carried the warmth of two suns. Her smile had the warmth of three. Her laugh tinkled like windchimes in the breeze. Her voice soothed Twilight’s ears like dark chocolate soothed the palate.
She had also seen Sunset nude as well, several times. Granted they were all photographs that she probably wasn't meant to ever see, but she’d seen them regardless. And she did, uh... much as she came to regret it later, she did pleasure herself to the images. She had deleted them, though, after a very long and inconsequential to the present time sequence of events wherein she was very briefly comatose. The memories still lasted, even as ghosts of the real thing: specters of a body she longed to love by touch.
Twilight sniffled and wiped at her eyes, now wet.
It was never to be, though. Sunset had made it very clear that she didn't and probably wouldn't ever see Twilight as a potential sexual partner. After a horribly traumatic event that occurred in Equestria nearly resulting in her untimely and violent death several times over, Sunset had come back broken, beaten, mentally scarred. She’d sit in the dark for days at a time, until the girls got her to leave and get medical help for her PTSD. Through all the trials and tribulations of overcoming the debilitating symptoms her illness, Twilight supporting her every step of the way, Sunset had grown to rely on Twilight as her guide. This was the determination that prevented Sunset’s feelings from ever being anything besides that of friendship and sisterhood.
Ironically, Sunset’s feelings had developed in exactly the opposite way, despite Sunset having been the torch in the dark Twilight used while overcoming her own depression, social anxiety, schizophrenia, and internalized hatred of her own identity. Their journeys mirrored each other, but the end result in regards to their mutual attractions couldn't be any closer to opposites if they tried.
Now, Twilight had made peace through that. After many pints of ice cream, many lesbian romance movies (well, the two or three of them she knew where neither of them died at the end), many lengthy showers spent staring at the wall, and many, many tears, she made peace. She was- if not okay with, then at least tolerant of- Sunset’s permanent rejection. At least they still had their special friendship which nobody could ever take away.
But then again, through all that time, she’d never had to directly content with the prospect of Sunset having sex with somebody else. Let alone somebody else she also had a crush on.
Twilight pulled her knees up to her chest and screwed her eyes shut, closing off the visible world.
For the longest time, Twilight had thoroughly convinced herself that she didn't have romantic feelings for Rarity. This was partly due to the fact that for the longest time, she’d known Rarity as being heterosexual. It was incredibly easy to not be aware of her true emotions when there was no prospect of rejection. With nothing to gain there was nothing to lose either. That was perfectly fine, of course, as it would be pathetic to want for somebody in spite of their sexuality. Unpleasant memories of Timber Sprice notwithstanding...
However, recently there was a huge rift in Rarity’s life. Apparently Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo had been secretly dating for years without anybody knowing. That is what secretly means, after all. They’d lived together with Sweetie and Rarity’s parents... their incredibly queerphobic parents. Their incredibly queerphobic parents that Rarity never allowed to meet Rainbow “I bleed violets” Dash out of fear they’d restrict her from spending time with her friends.
That fear turned out to be fairly well founded when Rarity and her parents returned home a day early from a college visit to discover the two... well, two young teenagers in love alone in a house together for several days can only play so many video games before other things start to happen. And happen they did. They were screamed at and told to move out immediately: Rarity stepped in between her siblings and her father and made an ultimatum. Accept them and their sexuality, or lose all of his children considering she was bi too.
He chose the latter.
And so, Rarity brought her siblings, a car full of hastily packed luggage, and an ocean of tears to the closest person she trusted, Rainbow Dash. Rainbow’s parents house was no mansion and barely fit the three people living there at the time, four if one counted Rainbow’s girlfriend. And so, Bow called Night Light asking for a favor. The Light household was certainly large enough, but Twilight would have to share her own bedroom with Rarity.
Twilight had agreed to the plan without thinking, knowing only that Rarity, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo deserved a warm and loving home rather than a tiny slice of the suburbs on an even tinier corner of the floor. Her family had room to spare, and between having an entire huge room she barely used the space of to herself, or ensuring one of her best friends in the world had a place to stay in the wake of being evicted based on the gender of people she could love, there was no hesitation. She chose the latter.
Of course it was only after that she realized that she actually had a heavy crush on Rarity and she had just decided to share a bed with her for the foreseeable future. That was several months ago, in November. It was now June.
Those first few months were definitely a good time. Twilight and Rarity were already close before, but if you had asked any of the rest of the group it was like they were the same person. They always came in a pair, at every social gathering and friendship function. They came together, they left together. They ate together, they did homework together, they slept together. Some nights they even both woke up to go to the bathroom at the same time. They of course didn't literally go to the bathroom together, unless they were out in public where it was fairly normal for girls to do that, but they did frequently change clothes and perform hygiene rituals together.
Of course that amount of time spent between any two people is sure to drive anybody crazy. It started off small but quickly snowballed and they started to make each other go completely insane. Of course no full blown fight happened: they just talked about it one night and a simple fix was decided. They'd just take turns spending a few nights at one of their friends’ houses every once in a while when tensions rose and blood started to boil. Time soon came where they missed each other terribly, and they returned to the previous routine ecstatic to be back.
Thus the current state of affairs, why Rarity was over at Sunset’s apartment for a couple of days. Although that was less of a “we need to get away from each other for a little bit” between the two roommates and more of a “this summer course is kicking our asses and we need to figure this out together” between the two currently studying. Or fucking, to be more accurate.
Twilight was of course the most sensible choice to go to during periods of academic strife but since they were doing philosophy they knew Twilight would have craved the sweet embrace of death the entire time and so spared her. Knowing that, though, Twilight still couldn't help the bitter sting of jealousy rising in her throat, burning like hot bile.
The pain in her chest ached, dull and hollow, because through spending so much time attached to Rarity at the hip, Twilight’s crush grew more and more until it was no longer just a crush. Twilight was in love with Rarity. Twilight loved her more than even the height of her infatuation with Sunset. She knew she loved Rarity from the start, and the delusion that it was platonic love kept the hurt at bay. But with the abatement of the illusion that Rarity was straight came the chip in the dam that slowly grew to a crack, which burst with the strength and fury of two cars smashing into each other at seventy miles an hour on the freeway.
Twilight’s heart always skipped a beat when she woke up and Rarity was laying facing her, peace and serenity and several loose drool infused strand of hair strewn across her face. Sometimes Twilight would just lay there in bed and beam at this lovely, magnanimous, gentle woman, this picture of refinement and grace blessing her with her presence and warmth, content to just bask in her beauty for a few minutes. Her true face, hidden behind all the makeup and airs of superiority and confidence, raw in vulnerability, was one Twilight knew not many would ever see, and the thought brought great joy to her soul. Even when Rarity snored hard enough to shake the bedframe. In fact, especially when that happened.
Some days Rarity stayed up for long nights trying to decide between two nearly identical shades of navy blue, for example, and Twilight would wake up to find Rarity slumped over on her desk, face plastered to the keyboard. It reminded her of her time at Crystal Prep where she did the same thing but for college level calculus and chemistry. It was infrequent enough that Twilight figured it was okay but frequent enough she had a routine. She’d bring a throw pillow and pull a Daring Do, gently replacing the keyboard with a throw pillow without disturbing the Temple of Rarisleepy. Then she’d drape a jacket perfectly over her slender shoulders followed by a warm blanket covering her entire body. Twilight would then follow it up with tucking Rarity’s hair behind her ear and kissing her on the forehead, a gesture she knew would be fine to do, that Rarity wouldn't have a problem with, but by the power of reticence and modesty that Fluttershy couldn't reach, she could never bring herself to do so when Rarity was awake.
Twilight and Rarity had very different tastes in music. While Twilight preferred the darker and more somber tones of neogothic symphonic doom prog, or one of a few hardcore punk and math rock bands she’d grown to like, Rarity was a lot more into the warm ballads of R&B legends, psychedelic blues, and old school hip hop. They found however that they were both very big fans of baroque pop. And so, Twilight started to build a playlist of music that she was able to find enjoyment in despite not being in her own spectrum of listening, but thought Rarity might enjoy having on as background noise while doing homework. Which she did, immensely. It melted Twilight’s insides to warm fuzzy goo to see a small smile appear on Rarity’s face as she subtly danced and sang under her breath just loudly enough that her mellifluent and harmonious tones, free of theatrics, caressed Twilight’s ears.
She was openly sobbing now.
Rarity was a physically affectionate person. She wouldn't randomly glomp passersby like Pinkie Pie would but one could see her love of Prench culture and its influence on her early development if they just looked at how she greeted her friends. Her hands and lips were used as greeting just as much as if not more so than her voice. Hugs, holding hands, cheek kisses, light gentle meaningless caresses, even nuzzles (though that one was probably a habit picked up from the other Twilight who was a princess of the ponies and therefore rarely adjusted back to human standards of personal boundaries in time before greeting everyone) were all commonplace and frequent, just as part of conversations with her as the word ‘fuck’ was for Rainbow Dash.
Twilight certainly made this discovery over the course of months, and also noted that these habits were drastically increased the more tired she got. Little wisps of contact built and built over time until sometimes she got what would appear to be deliriously flirty to any unsuspecting passerby, but Twilight knew it didn't mean anything more than being able to be as freely affectionate as she’d want to be without drawing an eye from her parents or giving off the wrong idea to someone. She took it for what it was, which was an expression of love for her friends. And to someone with as long a history of touch starvation as Twilight, it was like a drug. To be touched by such an angel at all was like cannabis; the frequency made it like heroin.
Twilight sometimes came to bed later than Rarity did, due to the aforementioned studying, or she would go to sleep normally, grow peckish in the night, grab a quick midnight snack, and return to her room. Now, Rarity was a toss and turner, so sometimes Twilight would discover that she tossed and turned her way across the bed. Feeling a little bit guilty but not enough to warrant not doing so, Twilight would slide right into her earlier position, adjusting herself so she was in exactly the same place as before, but wrap her arms around her bedmate. Rarity’s warmth, her scent, her deep but gentle breathing, her grip, her deep and not so gentle snoring, all culminated to basically a human sized royal purple teddy bear that smelled like strawberry and held you back. Twilight would hold her close, stroke or even kiss her hair, and relish in their contact until she drifted off to sleep, dreaming of pleasantries.
Twilight and Rarity had shared a chemistry class in the spring semester. It was a required credit that Twilight had missed out on, on account of being in a coma during the second period, and it was pure luck and happenstance that the two were also lab partners. One day recently had come where they were going to do a lab that required burning some minerals over burners and recording the results. Rarity had no idea that various elements turned fire different colors. When the first example- sodium chloride- went in, she was unimpressed. But when they put lithium chloride in, and it burned ruby red, Rarity’s eyes shone, mystified, in absolute awe at the simple chemical reaction. The the borax crystal pale green, the potassium chloride peach, the copper sulfate burning deep emerald, each color of fire left Rarity grinning like a kid in a candy store with a twenty dollar bill, and Twilight in turn floating in ecstasy as the girl she loved most in the world looked so happy.
Twilight buried her head under a pillow as she lost all control over her body, trickling hot, salty tears across her face and smearing it with her free hand as if she could push them back in, and stop all the hurt and pain. But no amount of wishing or force or even magic could make it go away.
Twilight loved Sunset Shimmer. But Sunset would never love her back the same way. She was the sun, Twilight the night sky: two halves of a whole, that left one half chasing the other but never able to reach it. They existed in harmony, parallel but touching, loving each other but not in love with each other. Unrequited, now and forever.
Twilight loved Rarity. But Rarity was too close. If she said anything, it would change their dynamic. Rarity might feel like she was walking on eggshells around Twilight, watching every single little thing she did, every word she said, every action she committed, locking down to ensure Twilight didn't get “the wrong idea”. The risk was too great to lose what they had: a physically intimate friendship was all she’d ever have with Rarity, she knew, so not ever telling her was the only way to ensure she never lost where she was now. There were worse fates, for sure but the prospect of romance would always be just out of reach.
And now the two had copulated themselves...
Her stomach hurt. Like a cage wrapped around her insides and the bars tightened so far they almost touched, squeezing the life out of her from the inside. Like knives slipped into the gaps, twisting and contorting and shredding what wasn't already pulp into ribbons. Like fire ants crawled into the holes: biting, gnawing, stinging, burning away everything left until it was all gone and hollow, but not nearly fast enough.
What felt like metal spikes shot through her neck, from her collarbones to her jaws, as she realized she was grinding her teeth. Her fingernails were stabbing into her palms, her chest tightened as her lungs were spent, ribs racked with pain. Twilight became aware that she wasn't breathing in, and with oxygen came a brief flash of clarity before the overwhelming tidal wave of the highly depressing implications crashed through her, killing the last few tears but drenching her in misery like a lead blanket soaked in icy water.
Rarity and Sunset getting together would mean less time either would spend with Twilight. As a whole that would just naturally happen. With how much time she now spent with Rarity it wasn’t just Twilight being a dramatic little baby, it was literally inevitable. Rarity would wanna spend time with her girlfriend. Probably a lot of time. There was even a chance they’d move in together permanently, and everything Twilight wanted to hold on to was now on the line, causing her to regret never having said anything, because now it was too late to factor in the prospect of Rarity desiring a romantic partner.
Deep down Twilight knew that this arrangement was only temporary. She'd just kind of blindly wished that it wasn't, and coming face to face with that fact was now tearing her apart.
At least she’d calmed down now and the tears had stopped, for the most part. The back of her throat was raw, though; it would be difficult to speak for quite a while now.
Suddenly she heard her phone rapidly blip multiple times in a row, followed by exactly three seconds of silence before it exploded in blips, buzzes, led flashes, and various other noises coded to each individual friend. It was probably fairly obvious what it was about.
Twilight emerged from her tiny makeshift pillow fort and reached for her glasses in one hand and her phone in the other. Once both were in place she checked the group chat which had exploded in activity.
At the top was Pinkie Pie with a screenshot of Rarity's blog @rare-indeed, as well as the message:
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH OMG GIRL GIVE US DEETS ❤️❤️❤️ WHOS THE LUCKY LADY???”
Then came messages from the other girls, who expressed similar sentiments, though in markedly more subdued fashions.
Although, considering the next picture was from Sunset, and taken of Rarity winking and giving a peace sign, they couldn't be faulted for their next responses being pretty much of the same caliber as Pinkie’s.
“DUDE WHAT??? SERIOUSLY??? SUPER AWESOME!!!”
“BRO! SICK! DOUBLE DATE WITH ME+DASH ASAP!
“oh my goodness, when did this start happening? yay!”
“DANG! YALL ARE GONNA BE SO CUTE TOGETHER!”
Twilight couldn't find the energy to cry. The acid crawling up her chest took what remaining energy she had left. Still, she was listed as having seen and it could spell nothing but trouble if she left them on read.
“OMG!” she began, hovering over the send button for a moment before continuing. “DIDNT KNOW U WERE STUDYING ANATOMY :P”
Pinkie immediately liked the comment, and Rainbow ha-ha’d it soon after.
Rarity dropped another message, indicating that “We’ll tell you all what a lady will divulge tomorrow, but we’re a LITTLE busy at the moment. Can we please have this chat then?”
Everyone left emoji responses, and Twilight was scrolling for the cat face when Sunset sent one.
“Rare, I can text one-handed... 😈"
This was ha-ha’d by Rainbow and followed a few seconds later by:
“I just bit my fingers really really hard :(“.
Rarity then responded.
“I took her phone away until she can do a certain something, AND WE WILL DISCUSS THIS TOMORROW! Love you, darlings<3”
The roiling waters churned in Twilight’s gut. In any other case this would have been hilarious, and a great tale to hear the buildup to. However, there wasn't anything Twilight wanted to do more than just turn her phone off, eat a tub of ice cream, watch a lesbian romance movie or two, and take a two hour shower while staring at the wall.
And that's just what she did.
/x/x/x/
Author's Note
Copper(II) sulfate burns super green in a bunsen burner. The smart people reading this will infer that it's an allegory for envy. The dumb people reading this will call me a stupid sjw because there's LGBT characters in it.
Yes the ending is abrupt. But that's because the epilogue is not canon to the chronology and is instead a leadup to a different fic. The next segment canonical to the extended chronology takes place from Rarity's pov. It'll make sense if/when you read it.
/x/x/x/
Twilight sighed as she turned off the water while it was still lukewarm. Her hair clung wet to her back as she stood, dripping. She looked down at her wrists, the scars almost completely healed up.
“Not about to do that again...” she murmured to herself before sliding the frosted glass door open. “Just go to sleep... maybe you'll feel better in the morning.”
She stepped out onto the bath mat, wasting no time at all before grabbing a towel off the rack and slinging it around her shoulders. She leaned forward and gathered her hair before twisting it into the towel and folding it over, bringing it back up into a neat bun. This was a technique Rarity taught her how to do, and it worked like a charm. She’d told Twilight how to do it properly the first time Twilight came to bed with wet hair.
Rarity...
Twilight avoided clenching her fists, as that would disturb the raw flesh from her earlier accidental stabbing. She couldn't avoid clenching her jaw, however, which caused a wave of pain to roll in from her neck. She didn't outwardly react, though.
Instead she just grabbed another towel and tied it around her waist, not caring too particularly much about ~modesty~ considering she was alone in the house except for Spike, who was a dog and didn't care what clothes she was or was not wearing. Both parents were away on business and Rarity was probably staying the night at Sunset’s again so she’d be alone for the time being anyway.
She grabbed for her glasses on the corner of the sink and slipped them on, briefly taking herself in through the mirror.
Her eyes still looked red and puffy, and definitely bloodshot. At least she just looked tired, and not like she’d been crying on and off for the past few hours. Although as Rarity pointed out. she seemed to always look tired no matter how much sleep she got.
Twilight gently bumped the counter with a knuckle, intending it to be a light punch because she could not stop thinking about Rarity, but subconsciously figured it was much more intelligent not to do that.
She quickly collected her clothes and pushed the bathroom door open, stepping over to her bedroom. She slipped the door open and dropped her package in the hamper, turning and contemplating whether to put on her bathrobe anyway. However she’d yet to get it deep cleaned, and the prospect of dried bloodstains touching her arms was unpleasant to contend with. Besides, she was just putting the dishes away.
Briskly down the stairs she walked, taking in the black sky through the translucent windows adorning the door frame. She reflected on the length of time she was actually gone as she strode into the kitchen towards the sink. She thanked her earlier self for soaking the bowl and spared no time sticking it into the dishwasher or flipping the switch.
Satisfied she was finished, Twilight glanced to the top of the refrigerator at the allergy pills she’d once grown entirely dependent on for falling asleep.
“No...” she muttered, heading back to the stairs. “I can't just take steps back because of this...”
As she was halfway up, the doorbell rang and her heart stopped for a moment.
Quickly she undid her towel and retied it at her chest, somewhat grateful the door was locked. As she turned and cursed whoever it was that chose this infernally late hour to bother her, this train of thought was stopped as she glanced through the peephole.
“What the hell?” Twilight quietly asked herself before undoing the lock and opening the door a crack. “Rarity? Sunset?”
The two new arrivals looked up at her, confusion etching across their faces, presumably at the length of time... and the quick cursory glances down merely intensified the expressions.
“Hey Twi,” Sunset greeted, raising her hand. “Sorry it's late.”
“Yes, we...” Rarity hesitated, before Sunset tightly gripped her hand, refueling her resolve. “We’d like to speak with you about something. Is now a good time?”
Twilight said nothing but stepped back, opening the door and waving her hand inside.
Rarity and Sunset nodded and stepped in, removing their shoes as Twilight closed the door behind them.
“Not that I’m not always glad to see either of you,” she began, adjusting her glasses. “But why so late? Aren't you two... studying...”
This caused their cheeks to redden as Rarity became suddenly incredibly occupied with analyzing the dining room. Sunset was the first to speak.
“Look, um. There's something we wanted to say to you, and it isn't really gonna be easy because...” she rubbed the back of her neck with her free hand. “Well, it's something normal for me but it's probably less normal for both of you. It's hard to explain.”
“Do you wanna talk in the living room?” Twilight asked, gripping the knot holding her towel firmly in place. “We don't have to stand here.”
Sunset nodded, and the trio headed down the hall to the living room. Sunset and Rarity took the couch, and Twilight took a chair diagonal to them.
“Help yourself to the kitchen,” she said, crossing a calf over her shin. “And before you say anything, I’m... happy for you two.”
Rarity nodded, and Sunset sighed.
“Alright, I’m just gonna cut to the chase here,” she said, chopping her free hand on the arm of her seat. “Rare and I aren't dating. Okay? I’m dating Spitfire. Our relationship is not romantic in the least. It's just sexual.”
Twilight blinked. “What.”
“Friends with benefits, darling,” Rarity supplied. “What happened today is we were studying, but we reached a point where we were both getting frustrated with the amount of material we had to contend with. The two of us contend with stress very differently, so, ah...”
“I masturbate.” Sunset said, blunt. “I told her that and was gonna head to the bathroom to take care of it, but the problem with that is you know my bathroom. The door’s a curtain. It would've been awkward. So after a really painful discussion- well, painful more for her than for me...”
“I expressed that I wouldn't be uncomfortable if she took care of that. In fact, the opposite was true, and it intrigued me a bit. So, she, uh... she started to do it. And I, ah... wanted... in.”
It was Twilight’s turn to blush as the unpleasant feelings crept their way back in alongside some not so unpleasant feelings. Having just purged most of them she was torn between asking them to leave, and waiting to hear more.
“Long story short,” Sunset said. “We ended up fucking, and we both really liked it, at least I hope-”
“I did.”
“Okay then, we both did. So Rare blogged about it knowing full well everyone would see it within the next few minutes and we hoped that it would be clear that we wanted some absolute privacy for a little longer to do it again. It wasn't long enough until Pinkie found it and everyone talked about it.”
“Except...” Rarity almost whispered. “Your reaction was... not positive. The hesitation, the all caps, the joke, the emoticon. That's your false support style of text based communication. That's how you text when you're upset, and... and here I see now that you've been crying today, confirming my suspicion. And, I see on the entertainment center the movies you watch when you're particularly upset when it comes to romantic things.”
Twilight cursed Rarity’s perception, looking away.
“I'm fine.” She said. “I was... occupied. Look, I’m- why did you come here in the middle of the night to tell me this?”
Sunset put her fingers together and took in a deep breath.
“I read your memories when you were in the coma, so I know everything up until then. I'm sorry I never said anything about it before, I just wanted to know what caused you to do what you did. That's why I ran away to Equestria, because I felt ashamed, like it was my fault. Like I failed you. And then when I came back and you were fine, it...” she sighed. “I didn't want to bring back bad memories for you. But after what Rarity told me, I know that I need to be straight with you about that.”
Twilight gave an expectant look to Rarity, wheels turning in her brain faster than she could process them.
“And I was... concerned, as to how you took the news. I knew your feelings for Sunset too. They're quite obvious. And I know you have some feelings for me, considering you told me that you had a little crush on me the first night I came to live here. In the heat of the moment, I’d forgotten about that, considering it was something quite special to me, being my first actual gay sexual encounter. But after the fact, I simply felt rotten. Not for doing what I did, because it was... very nice... but because I knew you wouldn't take it very well.”
Twilight stood up and walked across the room, turning her head away.
“So, what...” she growled. “You came here to tell me in person that the two girls I’m closest to, and love the most, are having sex with each other, and you're conscious of my feelings, and... I don't get this, are you seeking my approval? Or are you just trying to, what, let me down easy? I'm not a baby, I can handle this. I didn't cut again, I didn't pop pills again, I didn't try to kill myself again. I took care of things in a healthy way. I mean yeah eating too much ice cream is bad for you in the long run but I do cardio so it's fine, okay? I can do this, and you can do that, but it doesn't help me at all when you're constantly rubbing it in my face!”
She whirled on her friends, who were looking away with guilty expressions.
“Look. I love you both. But I don't want you to be here if you’re gonna treat me like a fucking child over this. I was sad, yeah, I still am. I was sobbing when I typed out what I did. But I fucking got over it. Yeah, I wish I was there, I wish I was one of you, I wished beyond all hopes for years that I could have a chance to be with either of you, with any girl, but that’s just not gonna happen. So let me be selfish and upset on my own for a few days, okay, because this isn’t gonna help me. At all. I got over Rainbow, I’ll get over you. Just give me time!”
“Twilight, please!” Sunset said, standing up. “That isn't what either of us meant. I lied! Okay? I lied when I said I didn't have feelings for you back. I’m with Spitfire, I can't date someone else too. But I can fuck them. Sex isn't as big a deal to ponies as it is to humans, that's why I could have sex with Rarity. I just couldn't date you. And I would’ve done something similar to this with you if the opportunity ever came up... I just didn't want you to regress considering how fucked up you got at my photos.”
“And I'm not trying to baby you,” Rarity added, standing up as well. “I just mean that... you have such a big heart to have so much love for so many people. And you deserve so much more than you seem to get on a daily basis. It hurts me to see you so upset and lonesome. And... and I know all of the things you do when you think I don't notice. The way you look at me when you think I'm looking away. The things you do for me when I overwork myself or oversleep. How often I wake up with your arms around me...
“I honestly thought you simply felt the same way towards me as you do to Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy, just a close friend you can be affectionate with and it not be anything weird. I thought that over time the romantic feelings you said you had for me faded to that quasiplatonic thing Fluttershy calls it. I know you, so well now... I fell in love with you. The real you, not the fake you that you put on around others. I just didn't think you felt the same. I figured that if you did, you would have asked me at some point, but it’s been seven months now. You weren't tutoring Rainbow Dash for one before your first date. I didn't think you had feelings for me any more, but seeing your reaction made me realize that I was wrong.”
“We both like you, Twilight...” Sunset finished. “The reason we came here is because... we wanted to know if you wanted in on this.”
Twilight just blinked.
“It's called a herd,” Sunset said. “In my people we usually have a primary romantic interest whom we marry, some have two. Sometimes there’s a breeder relationship between a mare and a stallion. And sometimes there's some casual sexual partnerships with varying degrees of romantic behavior. Spitfire is my primary. I don't have a breeder, not yet at least. I doubt I ever will. And I asked Rarity to be a part of mine, and... and I wanna ask you to be a part of mine too. That's why I came. It's something we both want, and I just wanted to know if you wanted to be a part of it too.”
“And I...” Rarity sighed. “I grew up desiring a nuclear family. A husband, two children. But now... now, I have a career to worry about. I'll have a family one day, but for right now I just want intimacy. I want to explore my sexuality. I want to date girls. And, if I have feelings for you and you me, and the three of us are all willing to have sex with each other, I just want you to know that the opportunity is here. Because I... oh shit she's fainting!”
Thunk.
/x/x/x/
Twilight woke up on her bed, not alone.
On her left lay Rarity, and Sunset sat on her right. Both were on their phones.
“...mm?” Twilight asked, leaning forward and rubbing the sleep out of her eyes. “R...ity? Suns?”
“Someone’s finally awake,” Sunset said, winking. “You feeling okay? You hit your head pretty hard.”
Twilight rubbed the back of her head, which was swelling slightly. “...yeah?”
“Oh good, I’d hate to know I was responsible for hurting you. However indirectly. That was mostly gravity but we contributed.”
“I don't remember what happened... I think when I hit the ground I dreamt you... no, that's ridiculous. Sorry I yelled at you.”
Sunset draped her arm over Twilight’s shoulders. “It's okay. We should've been to the point from the get go.”
Rarity did the same thing from the other side. “So do you have an answer for us?”
Twilight blinked again. “Answer to what?”
Sunset snickered. “You were clean out. Do you wanna have sex with me and Rarity?”
Twilight slowly turned her head. “What?”
“It's a simple question darling. Sunset and I are here, the house is empty, and uh... your towel fell.”
Twilight looked down. “So it did.” She looked back up at the two of her friends. “So like... you're for real?”
They nodded.
Twilight reached over to pinch her arm, then leaned back onto the pillow.
“Well, um... if you both want to... then sure.” She smiled as they both took a hand and leaned down with her, planting twin kisses on her temples. A river of golden silk flowed down through her body, warming her body and purging out the bad energy.
“...be gentle?” She asked.
Rarity and Sunset nodded as they started to remove their clothes, and Twilight just lay there and watched, blissful contentment blanketing the room.
“Can I, uh...” Twilight blushed and reached her hands down her body. “Can I watch you two first?”
/x/x/x/
Author's Note
I'm sick of breaking down Twilight constantly so fuck it, here's a happy ending to an angst piece. Also I changed my mind, this ending is canon to the chronology, and I'm scrapping the originally intended ending. And don't worry, anyone who wants it... I'll write the direct continuation under an M rating.
And yes I know that I'm writing this series in the worst possible way. But I've got personal stuff on my plate as well as the original series I'm writing. Everything's eventually on its way; this whole thing is literally just practice juggling side plots for my own work. Thanks regardless for all of the patience and kind words over this past year and a half. Love y'all.
