Author's Note
This was an idea proposed by Latecomer in the "Padded Ponies and Adult Foals" group. Basically, he speculated on how other species might operate on the concept of potty training and from it got the idea for this fic. Originally, he (or she) was going to publish on his (or her) account by writing out the rough draft. But then he (or she) ultimately hit a wall and released a rough outline of what had been produced, asking if I would publish it. I said yes.
I don't think there's anything really objectional about this fic's content, there's not even really any toilet humor outside of one or two occasions. But I decided to play it safe and give this a Teen rating.
As for why I included General Seaspray, it was largely for comedic purposes. A military background and a high ranking naval official being involved in something so civilian and something that you probably wouldn't expect to see him involved with. The bit with Ocean Flow is my personal head canon, but for the record she is indeed shown without a Pearl of Transformation necklace throughout "Surf and/or Turf".
Learning Anew
If there was one word that could describe Silverstream’s mood as she swam up to the surface it would be “Nervicited”. So who cared if that wasn’t actually a word? It was to Silverstream and that was all that mattered.
Today was a big day. At least, that’s what a lot of the older hippogriffs/seaponies had been willing to tell her. They said it had something to do with readjusting to life on Mount Aris, something that every seapony ready to turn back into a hippogriff had to go through.
True, she’d been up there the day before. It was the day of resurfacing, a celebration held to commemorate the defeat and demise of the Storm King. A chance for those born in Seaquestria to see what the old, scared home land of Mount Aris looked like. And a chance for the old generation to start the process of restoring it to its former glory. There was even talk of opening it up for tourism.
Silverstream’s aunt, Queen Novo, had given a grand speech that day. And Silverstream’s older cousin, Princess Skystar, had been by Novo’s side the whole time. In fact everyone was there, it was required of everygriff. But after the speech had been given the younger griffs had been ushered back to Seaquestria, only the older griffs got to stay.
“It’s so unfair! Even my cousin got to stay on land yesterday! How come I didn't?! I’m not grounded like she is, I’m allowed to leave Mount Aris, someday.” Silverstream thought to herself as she neared the surface. Well, she could worry about that later. The grownups had to have a reason for it, they always did. She could still remember how frightened her parents had become the one time she’d snuck up to the surface for a moment, something no one in Seaquestria was supposed to do.
But before the young seapony could transform into her hippogriff form and go up on land there was something she had to take care of, actually two somethings. Somethings she’d been putting off for a while even though she normally did them every day. The first was simple - she just sighed and relaxed her muscles, letting her bladder’s salty contents empty out and quickly drift away.
What she had to do next was tricky though, she couldn’t just release wherever she wanted. She needed to find a current flowing away from Seaquestria. It didn’t take long for her to find one. “This’ll do, right out in the open with no one around.” She told herself and started to push.
The seapony kept one eye on the current as she relieved herself. It was imperative that one never release into a current that wasn’t flowing away from Seaquestria. To her surprise the current suddenly changed direction mid-push, now it flowed towards Seaquestria. Silverstream’s face flushed red. “Uh-oh! Can’t make a mess of Seaquestria, Aunt Novo wouldn’t like that!” She thought out loud and quickly swam away, ceasing her push for the time being. Fortunately, there were plenty of currents and she was able to find another one and properly send off the contents of her bowels on their voyage just a moment later. “Phew, that was a close one.” She told herself, feeling a great sense of relief.
With her bodily functions taken care of for the time being, Silverstream swam around for a bit to let the ocean clean her up. She preferred it to seaweed, far less of a hassle and what the grown-ups didn’t know wouldn’t hurt them. She then swam back toward the shore of Mount Aris, clutching her Pearl of Transformation fragment that hung from her neck. Everygriff wishing to live on Mount Aris was required to wear them, those who didn’t could only stay in Seaquestria. Her mother was one of those who had chosen not to wear a pearl necklace, largely because she was going to be acting queen of Seaquestria when Novo was up on Mount Aris.
Silverstream shook her head to clear her thoughts. She was probably already late because of her bathroom break. And she didn’t want to miss whatever it was that warranted all the young griffs being on land. She grasped her necklace with a fin, feeling the pearl fragment work its magic. Her fins were replaced by claws, instead of a tail she now had wings, and her mouth morphed into a beak.
Now a hippogriff, Silverstream flew up from the water and touched down on the dock at the base of Mount Aris, staring down (or up rather) at the huge flock of stairs that lay before her.
“Good thing we can fly, it would take ages to have to climb up all those stairs. I’d probably pass out before I could even get halfway up.” A familiar voice commented. Silverstream spun around in time to see the familiar presence of her little brother, Terramar.
And he wasn’t alone, Skystar was also there. “Hey cousin!” She eagerly waved a claw. “Are you as excited as I am?! This is gonna be so awesome! I can’t wait to find out what our big surprise is!”
Terramar turned to his cousin. “Wait, you mean you don’t know? Even though your mom’s the queen and everything?”
Skystar nodded. “She wouldn’t tell me. She just said it was something super important that everygriff has to learn to live on Mount Aris again.” Amazingly, she said it all in one breath.
“What could it be, though?” Terramar wondered aloud. “We already know how to fly, and I’m pretty sure the older griffs could teach us how to hunt.”
Silverstream just excitedly squealed! “Ooh, the suspense is killing me! I have to find out! Come on, let’s get up there and find somegriff who can tell us!”
The three griffs fluttered up the cliffside, as did several other young griffs. When they reached the top and landed, they were surprised to see a hippogriff that none of them had ever seen before.
He had a pale, light grayish indigo coat, a flowing light and pale opal green mane and tail that were quite long, and light aquamarine eyes that seemed to equally convey sternness and kindness. He was standing before pots of some kind.
Now Silverstream had seen pots before – seaponies kept all sorts of things in them – but what astonished her was that these pots had NO LIDS! She blinked and rubbed her eyes, that couldn’t be right, pots had to have lids in them. But when she looked again they were still as lidless as they had first appeared. “Why would anyone have pots that don’t have lids? How do they keep things from floating out of them?!” She thought. Maybe that was the point though? Maybe what was in these pots just floated away into the sky (even though all the older griffs said that didn’t just happen).
The old hippogriff cleared his throat, captivating the attention of all the young ones before him. “Greetings to you all, esteemed young hippogriffs. Please allow me to introduce myself, I am General Seaspray of her majesty Queen Novo’s royal navy. The very model of a model major general,” He spoke in an elegant yet commanding tone. “Per her majesty’s instructions, I am to instruct you on the task for which you have all been called up here today for,” He paused as he seemed uncertain of what to say next. But at last he appeared to find the words. “By now you’ve no doubt noticed that things work a lot differently here on the surface than they do back in Seaquestria.”
“Yeah! For one thing, we have stairs now! Though I don’t see why we do, flying’s so much easier!” Silverstream declared.
“Flying up and down all day gets tiring, sis,” Terramar corrected. “I think the stairs are nice. Now be quiet, I think Seaspray’s about to tell us something important.”
Seaspray smiled. “You’re quite right, Terramar. Nice to see that somegriffs can pay attention,” Then he cleared his throat again. “Now, a lot of these things are ones that the queen herself is confident you’ll all figure out in time on your own, or by asking your elders. This, however, is something she was quite insistent that everygriff must learn before they can go anywhere near our beloved, precious city,” He gestured to the lidless pots before him. “How to not make a mess of it.”
Silverstream piped up again. “Ooh! You mean like the time Seawind spilled squid ink all over the art room, and Aunt Novo turned her into an eel for a whole week?”
Seaspray simply commented in reply. “Sort of. We most certainly don’t want anyone to spill anything and ruin something of importance. But there is no squid ink here on Mount Aris, what you’re all here to learn today is something more basic. Something that has to do with your hippogriff bodies and how they naturally respond to nature’s call as it were,” Then he asked. “By the way, how have you all been adjusting to your hippogriff bodies? Do any of you have any questions at all?”
Terramar shot up a claw and adopted a withdrawn look. “Uh, I think I do. A while ago, I’m not exactly sure what happened. I was just flying around, minding my own business. Then suddenly, it felt like I made a bubble, but there was just a bad smell.”
“Terramar, you should’ve gone before you left!” Silverstream teased. “That’s what Mom and Dad always taught us.”
But Skystar blushed. “Actually, I kind of did that too. I think it has something to do with these pots, Mother was talking about them this morning.”
“You are correct, Princess Skystar,” Seaspray nodded as he gestured to the lidless pots. “These are called chamber pots, they are what we hippogriffs used back when we lived on Mount Aris. Queen Novo has put me in charge of instructing you on how to use them.”
“What do these… chamber pots have to do with what I did earlier?” Terramar asked. “Do you know what it was?”
“I do. It is nothing to be ashamed of,” Seaspray explained to the troubled hippogriff. “What you described as occurring is kind of like salting, only up here it is called farting or passing gas. Because you’re not a seapony you can smell it. Which brings me back to my original point. Unlike with seaponies when you can just release it wherever, because the current will carry it away, as hippogriffs you don’t have that luxury. All your bodily functions are to be done in these pots.”
Silverstream’s eager mood faded, replaced by one of confusion as she adopted a perplex look upon her face. “Wait, so we’re supposed to pee in those little pots? Why can’t we just do it on the ground, it seems harmless.”
Seaspray shook his head. “If we allowed you to go wherever you felt like, Mount Aris would be smelly and uninhabitable,” Then he walked back and forth over the chamber pots. “How you use these things is actually quite simple. Whenever you feel the need to go, simply locate one of these chamber pots and place your rear over them. From there you simply release into it, and afterwards you are to clean yourself with leaves.”
“What about for… the other thing?” Skystar reluctantly asked Seaspray. “Do we do the same thing we do for peeing?”
Seaspray nodded. “Correct! And when you do that it is even more imperative that you clean yourself with the provided leaves. It is much easier than doing it into a current to take it away from Seaquestria,” And with something of a smile he concluded. “This is what is known as ‘potty training’. Many other species train their young at much earlier ages to utilize such devices for their business. We have also heard rumor that some civilizations have obtained more ‘advanced’ versions of these products that make use of something known as ‘indoor plumbing’, though we are as of yet unaware how such things work. Thus, chamber pots are the best we can do. And for any griff who wishes to stay on Mount Aris, they must be able to proper utilize the chamber pots. If you cannot, you will have to remain in Seaquestria.”
The young hippogriffs examined the huge array of chamber pots that had been set up. They had been spaced apart only slightly, no doubt to accommodate a lot of hippogriffs all at once. Next to each one rested a roll of what appeared to be the paper that Seaspray had been talking about.
“So, what happens when these pots get full? Do they just get sealed up like other pots?” Silverstream curiously wondered, inspecting one of the chamber pots more closely.
Seaspray cleared his throat again as he corrected the young hippogriff. “No, there is a delicate process that goes into emptying these pots at given intervals. Apparently, this is a problem that the ‘indoor plumbing’ variety resolves. But we do not currently have the means or know how to obtain such models or install them,” Then he asked. “Perhaps, though, it would be best if instead of simply talking about you, you were given a demonstration? Would anygriff like to volunteer?”
“I’ll do it!” Skystar’s claw shot up in a second. “It’s what Mother wants, obviously. And I wanna make her happy. Besides, it looks easy enough.”
“Very well then, Princess Skystar, please demonstrate for us. Be sure to include how one cleans up after using these chamber pots.” Seaspray instructed and stood off to the side of the chamber pots.
Skystar smiled. “Okay, everygriff, keep your eyes on me,” She selected the chamber pot closest to her and after a bit of careful repositioning she placed her rear over it and sat down. “You’ve got to make you’re sitting on it just right, otherwise you’ll miss and that’ll be a huge problem,” Then she started to push as her tail raised up ever so slightly. It didn’t take her long to finish. “So you just do it like that for number one and number two. Then you use the leaves to clean yourself up, kind of like this.” Using said leaves, the young princess went back and forth over her rear with it, then tossed it into the chamber pot when she was done.
“One more detail you all should be aware of,” Seaspray commented as Skystar finished her demonstration. “You’ll notice that just over yonder is a small stream. When you have concluded your business here, you are to wash your claws in the stream.”
“Don’t worry, it’s totally fun to do!” Skystar declared as she went over to the stream. “And these chamber pots are so much nicer than the ocean. No more having to hunt for a current flowing away from Seaquestria, just push, let it fall into a little hole, and you’re done. Simple as that.”
Seaspray smiled. “Now that you have been instructed on proper usage of these chamber pots, and have observed the way in which you use them, you simply must demonstrate mastery of them. We’ll be doing this every day for a week, after which anygriffs that still have yet to use a chamber pot will not be allowed to stay on Mount Aris. Don’t worry, though, they say everygriff learns at their own pace. And I’m confident you will all be fully trained by week’s end, I’d bet my beak on it!”
“Come on, everygriff!” Princess Skystar eagerly encouraged upon coming back from the stream. “There’s enough chamber pots for everyone! Just pick one and relax.”
Silverstream was all but beside herself with glee. “Ooh, I can’t wait to try these out! I can’t believe we never had anything like ‘em underwater, it’d be easier than using the currents. Though that would mean I couldn’t use my tail to hit targets,” Then she frowned. “Wait, I forgot I already went! Darn it!”
“That’s perfectly okay, young Silverstream,” Seaspray encouraged in a warm tone. “Though I suggest you step out of line and let those who do utilize the chamber pots available.”
Silverstream sighed but obeyed. “Alright,” She flew off while commenting to herself. “Guess I’ll go see my mom. Maybe she’ll make her famous kelp fritters to commemorate this special occasion.”
Sometime later, an eager Sky Beak came trotting over. “Hello, Seaspray,” He greeted. “Queen Novo figured you could use a fin, er I mean claw. How’s the training going?”
“Going great so far,” Seaspray declared in his posh tone. “Princess Skystar demonstrated how the chamber pots are to be used, and I’ve now let the young griffs have free reign to try them out for themselves. Per her majesty’s instructions, they have a week to master the training if they wish to stay on Mount Aris.”
Sky Beak smiled. “Knowing my children, they’ll have it mastered by the end of the first day. They’re born learners! It took less than a week to teach them how to use currents, and that took me a long time to master.”
“Well, let us observe the young ones as they make their attempts. I am quite hopeful they will not need the whole week to learn,” Seaspray commented in reply. “I most certainly wish it was you Queen Novo had assigned this task. You always have a way with children.”
Sky Beak chuckled. “Don’t I know it. My children practically have me wrapped around their little claws, and even my niece has tried to exploit that a few times. It’s probably why Novo put you in charge,” Then he smiled. “And speaking of charge, it seems Silverstream is about to take charge of the potty training.”
And indeed she was. Silverstream (having come back from underwater) had picked out one of the chamber pots and eagerly sat down on it. “I hope it’s as easy as Cousin Skystar made it look.” She thought to herself.
It was definitely weird to do one’s business in the way Silverstream had been instructed to do. At first she found it actually kind of difficult, especially since she wasn’t out over the ocean. But she eventually managed to push, and felt a reward for her efforts a short time later as something landed in the chamber pot below her. She stood up and looked in, her eyes filling with joy! “Yay! I did it! I did it! I did it!” She cheered proudly. “Skystar was right, this is so easy!”
“Don’t forget to wipe now, Silverstream. And remember to wash your claws.” Sky Beak instructed. Silverstream did so once she managed to calm herself down.
But not everygriff found the training to be easy. Terramar was having a tough time doing so, not the least because of all the other griffs that were around. Sure, only his dad and Seaspray were actually watching him, but it still really unnerved him. Not to mention the whole “one week” timeline. What if he had to pass some kind of test to prove he had mastered the training? What if he messed up on the test?
“Hey, Terramar, what’s the hold up?!” Silverstream chirped as she fluttered next to him. “I already went, and I did it earlier this morning too.”
Terramar blushed. “I-I’m trying to, Silverstream, really. It just feels so weird, I keep pushing but nothing happens. Not even those bubbles.”
Silverstream just innocently encouraged. “So? Just keep trying, I’m sure you’ll do it eventually. Just try to picture it like you’re in the ocean, using a current.”
But the younger griff just blushed again as he stood up. “I think that might be the problem. I’m just too used to doing it in the ocean. Whenever I’m not doing it there, my body fights against me,” Looking down at the chamber pot he sighed. “You and Cousin Skystar make it look so easy. Maybe I’m the exception to the rule,” Then he trailed off. “I… I’m… gonna… go find a current or something.” He fluttered away, clutching his transformation necklace.
Just as he suspected, once he’d transformed into his seapony state it became much easier for Terramar to do what he needed to do. And as luck would have it there was a perfectly good current just waiting for him.
Terramar sighed as he relieved himself into the current, letting it all flow away. “It’s so much easier as a seapony. Why can’t I just do it like that as a hippogriff?” He thought to himself. “It’d be so easy to just fly out over the open ocean and let the current take it all away. But I seem to be the only griff who thinks so.”
After a short swim to wash himself off, Terramar was prepared to go back up and join the other griffs at the chamber pots. At the least maybe he could cheer them on while they all went through the training without him.
But just then, who should come bubbling up to the surface but Ocean Flow herself? She took one glance in Terramar’s direction and immediately she could tell that something was troubling him. He had that pronounced frown upon his face and the droopy brows. Being a mother, she could read such expressions from afar. And she knew from experience that they meant something was wrong.
Ocean Flow swam over to Terramar and put a fin around him. “Terramar, sweetie, what’s the matter?”
Terramar sighed and hung his head. “It’s nothing, Mom. It’s not even gonna matter in a week.”
Ocean Flow wasn’t persuaded in the least. “Terramar, honey, you know I don’t like seeing you all upset. You can tell me. Does it have anything to do with this ‘potty training’ Silverstream mentioned? She was so excited about it when she came back to Seaquestria for a while.”
Terramar reluctantly sighed again and confessed. “Yeah, it is. It’s stupid, and I don’t know why I’m the only one who’s having trouble with it,” He tried to explain everything to his mom as best he could. “Apparently, if we want to stay on Mount Aris we have to use these things called chamber pots whenever we have to go to the bathroom. But I can’t use them, not even when I try my hardest do so. And if I haven’t mastered the chamber pots in one week I’m not gonna ever be allowed on Mount Aris, because Queen Novo doesn’t want anyone who will make a mess of the place.”
“Oh, Terramar, is that really all?” Ocean Flow sweetly reassured her troubled son. “Of course you’re not gonna magically get good at something right away, it takes time. That’s why you have a week.”
“But my sister and my cousin can already use them just fine. I’m the only one in the entire family who can’t, besides you, but you’re staying in Seaquestria.” Terramar admitted with shame.
“So? I had to be above ground for the big ceremony yesterday when we all transformed,” Ocean Flow explained. “And that meant I had to learn how to use the chamber pots. It took me a while to figure them out too. Even your father struggled with them at first, because we’ve all been underwater up to this point.”
“Your mother’s right, you know,” The familiar voice of Sky Beak declared, hovering down from above. He waved a claw at his wife. “Hello, honey.”
Ocean Flow waved a fin back. “So nice to see you again, Sky Beak, darling.”
Sky Beak just smiled. “Well, I had to check on my only son and make sure he was okay. But I’m glad you found him all the same,” Then he looked at Terramar. “Your mom’s right though, Terramar. Nogriff expects you to be a complete master of the chamber pots right away. Didn’t you hear what General Seaspray said, everyone learns at their own pace.”
Terramar just continued to hang his head. “But that’s the thing, I don’t know if I can learn. Especially not when everyone around me seems to be having no trouble mastering it in just a day or two.”
Sky Beak shook his head. “Just because they were able to follow an example doesn’t automatically mean they’re a master at it. The whole point of the training take place over a week is so that it becomes routine, that everygriff young and old alike learns what to do when they have to go and how it’s to be done.”
Ocean Flow was quick to add. “It’s just like when you had to be trained to go in a current, so your business wouldn’t flow into Seaquestria. You learned much quicker compared to Silverstream, though that was more because she was always so curious and never wanted to stay still.”
“So do you see, son?” Sky Beak asked Terramar. “Potty training is something you’ll learn in time. There’s nothing wrong with being a slow learner, as long as you don’t give up the moment you don’t get it exactly right the first time,” And then he added. “Now, why don’t you come on back up to Mount Aris? We’re just about to break for lunch. And if you don’t master potty training today, that’s okay. You’ve got a whole week to learn, and I’m sure your sister and your cousin will be more than happy to help.”
Terramar looked across at Ocean Flow, one nod told him all he needed to know. “Alright, Dad,” He said as he clutched his necklace and transformed back into a hippogriff. “I guess lunch at least sounds good.”
Silverstream and Skystar had saved Terramar a seat at a small wooden bench a ways from the chamber pots. Silverstream was the first of the two girls to speak up. “Terramar, you came back! Does this mean you’re not giving up on trying to figure out how to use the chamber pots?”
Terramar nodded. “Yeah. But if I don’t get it right on the first day, well I’ve got a whole week to learn. And who knows, I’ll bet some other griffs will have just as much trouble. Even Mom and Dad didn’t learn right away.”
Skystar chuckled. “Well, don’t tell anygriff I told you this, but apparently my mom still sometimes likes to do it the old seapony way. Except she swims way out to sea first, so nogriff’s ever around to see her,” Then she whispered and gave a knowing wink. “If anyone asks, you didn’t hear it from me. Got it? I don’t need Mother to ground me again.”
The hippogriffs all ate their lunches of fresh bird seed and worms, then it was back to trying out the chamber pots (which had been mysteriously cleaned out completely).
Terramar still found it hard to use the chamber pots for their intended purposes. “Seriously, Silverstream,” He commented to his big sister. “How do you manage to make it look so easy?”
Silverstream smiled. “Well for me, I just try to imagine it like I’m a seapony and I’m out in a current. Sometimes I find it helps if I close my eyes.”
Skystar nodded. “That’s what I do too! Once I’m more comfortable with the chamber pots, I probably won’t need to imagine.”
Terramar took the girls’ advice. He shut his eyes, trying to imagine himself swimming out in the ocean in search of a current flowing away from Seaquestria. At last he found it, the perfect stream. He relaxed and pushed, releasing the contents for the current to carry away. But he was snapped out of his imaginative spot when he heard a faint plopping sound. The young hippogriff reluctantly stood up and inspected the chamber pot. “Yes! I did it! I really did it!” He proudly cheered. He could hardly believe it had given him so much trouble before.
“Now you gotta make sure you wipe really good, and then scrub your claws thoroughly in the stream,” Silverstream instructed. “I actually made a fun game out of it. Try to turn into a seapony and see how much water you can splash out of the stream with your tail. It’s not easy, but it’s super fun!”
Skystar only laughed. “I just wonder where all this goes when they empty out the chamber pots. They obviously don’t just dump it in the sea.”
“I’m more curious about that ‘indoor plumbing’ that other species apparently have,” Silverstream commented. “I wonder if I’ll ever get the chance to see what they look like.”
“Who knows?” Terramar replied. “For me, I’m just content to get the hang of potty training with the chamber pots. Then I can stay on Mount Aris, and go back and forth at will between Mom and Dad.”
