“Now remember Twilight be courteous to the pony and please don’t bombard them with questions,” Celestia’s voice chimed as the Mane 6, accompanied royal entourage stepped down from the airship ramp, ”I fully understand your curiosity regarding this particular pony but it’s best to make a good first impression, wouldn’t want to scare them now would we?” Her voice was melodic, calming and had a ring that resonated within every creature, natural ASMR if there ever was.

Argenti hated all.

Unfortunately, he had to catalogue them regardless.

Their exit really was a sight to behold. Celestia wore a simple Greek toga-like dress, its white seeming to radiate with light, the material too well doing a good job of tracing her curves while feigning modesty. How pretentious. The whorse was tall as two doors stacked upon one another. She was motherly, softer-limbed than the archaic Luna, but he knew better, gold was heavy. Even her feet were sheltered by golden sandals and she wore a broach of a golden sun around her neck.

Gold, gold gold. Gold and silver.

Luna, like her sister, wore a similar dress and similar broach, except hers was black and her broach took the shape of a crescent moon. She wore silver sandals and though her frame was thin and wiry muscle, and her height shorter than her sister’s, she was by far most imposing of the two. Her body tense, hard and sharp like a wire stretched taut.

Onto their weapons.

Twilight wore a white short-sleeve shirt and a blue sweater and short, purple skirt with her cutie mark on the side. She, stood at about one-half a Celestia and pudgy. She, along with Rarity and Fluttershy, lacked significant musculature.

He estimated she could sprint as well as a fish could walk.

Fluttershy wore a simple green long-sleeve sweater and a long white dress, with a hidden pocket below her left breast. It held a rectangular object. Not his problem

She was slightly smaller in frame to Twilight and was two fingerwidths shorter.

Applejack stood at one and one fifth a Twilight, her posture spoke of strength, her arms were... Enviable. She wore a red, checkered short shirt that exposed her toned stomach and a long, blue jeans with an amber, apple-shaped belt buckle. And of course a characteristic Stetson was glued to her head.

Rarity had layered her face with perfect azure eyeliner and fixed her hair to an almost impossible level of perfection, the finish really was beautiful though.

Ha ha.

No.

Beautiful? More like revolting.

Someone could stab her in the face and he was sure their blade would bounce off that veritable mask of makeup. He wasn't sure where fur began and powder ended, never had he ever seen hair strands hard and unyielding as an aroused manhood.

Anywya, back to his job,

A tight sky-blue long-sleeve shirt hugged her upper body and a darker blue corset constricted her midsection. Both were complimented by a fundamental blue colored ‘business’ skirt with a black pantyhose strapping onto the two gray stockings that ran down her thighs to her ankles. She stood at about four fifths a Twilight and every her motion was an attempt to turn eyes her way.

Yay.

Another one.

Rainbow Dash seemed to not have prioritized this trip, looked like she had just awoken. As such simply wore her trademarked white tank top (with her cutie mark) on it and a short, gray sports pants that reached a bit above her thighs and were tight enough to sleep in. Her build was slim, flat and devoid of fat. Either great genes or steroids, take your pick. She stood at one Applejack.

Not a bad tomboy if you’re into that.

Who am I talking to?

Am I going insane?

FU-

Pinkie Pie, ever the slightly chubby-yet-somehow-still-thin-wait-what- wore a blue armless top and a brown, cake-colored crop top sweater that would have exposed her stomach had she not been wearing the top. She wore a bright pink dress and two thigh length blue and white stockings to complete the surprisingly excitable look. She stood at one Twilight and her form resembled a pear that jiggled and wiggled every now and then.

She also had fifteen knives, three rocks and one roll of tape taped to her body beneath all the layers of uneccesary clothing.

The stench of adhesive burned his nose.

Dear God.

Heart attack notwithstanding, this one, I despised

__________

“Okay Princess!” Twilight replied cheerily, her biped body bouncing up and down excitedly, truth be told this was the one event she had been waiting for the better part of this month. What event? It was simple really, she had won a raffle, the prize being a week-long trip to Ornithia, home of the avians. Of course the prospect of going to a foreign nation wasn’t the only thing she was excited about, no it was the all extras included tour of their factories, by THE creator himself!

For clarification, in recent years Ornithia had been producing toys in the market that have taken Equus by storm and on a further note, while quite simple to use, most required a complex understanding of Physics, and in some cases Chemistry, to grasp how they functioned. Twilight had both and still found herself wracking her brain on the specifics of each and while some were simpler than others she simply couldn’t fathom how the enlarged coiled loose spring worked! It defied Starswirl’s Third Law of Magical Physics for Celestia’s sake!

Truth be told both her friends, Starlight and the royals were worried about her new obsession with children’s toys. No mater, they were nearing a large, red rectangular building and almost immediately were greeted by two bowing avians. One was an older female parrot whose feather ends were green, similar to Celaeno’s but a bit darker, almost blue. She was a tad taller than Jackie and an angular shape. The suit tied the "confident and prim" look together, she though. The other was a bulky griffon whose feather ends were ashen gray. He was about an inch or two shorter than the parrot and unlike her he was odd in the extreme that Twilight's eyes couldn't help but focus him. Both his limbs and chest were thin as dried sticks, however he had unnaturally large wings, big as Celestia's and maybe bigger. How peculiar. Both wore business-like black suits and appealing smiles on their faces as they introduced themselves and ushered the Princesses and Mane 6 into the factory. The female parrot was Kelaino and the male griffin, Argenti.

Twilight attempted to pry some information about her esteemed individual but the escorts simply shrugged her off almost comically and after a while of walking they parked their guests at a large, golden door(plated gold, the actual material is duralumin).

“You may enter whenever you’re ready, though keep in mind, the master is quite the…….. unique….. individual,”

Kelaino stated in a hearty, bemused tone of voice as she eased the golden doors open for the guests.

Twilight all but ran through the doorway. Before her stood a hairless biped that certainly wasn't a pony. He was just an inch or two shorter than her. His tanned arms were coiled, hairless ropes of muscle that contracted and relaxed with every motion as he slammed a hammer down onto the anvil in front of him, sparks cascading over the edges of the device with every strike. His body was, for all observational purposes, quite defined, scarily so in fact. His chest was covered by a large red chest plate, fire coiling around his neck, the orange flames licking at the tender skin. His head was concealed by a bulky, red knight’s helmet with two short, orange, upward-curved horns on the sides with a golden line with a single strand of orange running down the back of the helmet. His back faced her and just as she was about to speak, she froze as an animalistic scream of unparalleled agression assaulted her unarmed eardrums, followed by a rather brutish melody.

The sound appeared to be an odd mix between an assertive modern melody and an olden tune similar to that made by a bagpipe. Her base magical sense indicated said noise originated from the 'Magic Of Music' as it was called. Nonetheless Twilight had no further time to ponder on the odd song before the familiar voice of her mentor’s Royal Canterlot voice silenced the peculiar music and with it all the peace of mind the inventor had at the moment.

“YOU!”

The rest of the Elements and the Royals stumbled into the room after her, Celestia glaring daggers at the individual who had just frozen in place. Slowly he turned around, revealing a hairless, youthful face with bright, rose red eyes, a long face and small nose, he, had the most obvious expression of befuddlement they had ever seen, he grasped an object behind the anvil and pulled it out. A long, shiny blade with a long hilt, a single blue gem was embedded into the guard and on its side was the word 'Caliburn'. He placed it’s almost silver blade beneath his small forging hammer, right hand to the golden handle as energy swirled around the swords sharpened length. He spoke in a monotone voice, the only emotion comparable to Celestia’s burst simply being the absolute look of boredom on his glistening, sweat-addled features

“Oh look. It’s Bighorse, worked that fat off your enlarged ass yet?”

Author's Note

Ideas Ideas, which one to use...........

Go dark,

or become a Joker......

Decisions, decisions.......

Edit: That scream's at 2:38 by the way.