You Are Still My Love And My Life
Author's Note
So this fic was inspired by the second chorus and outro lyrics from "My Love, My Life" From Mamma Mia 2. I would post them here but you guys know the crap they give if you post song lyrics that aren't yours. So look it up, and try not to cry.
Following that, the song that is included in the actual fic, is one of my creation, used in a non-pony fanfic of mine on fanfiction, and may not be used without my express written consent.
Hope you all enjoy this piece of work, and have some tissues ready!
You Are Still My Love And My Life
The sun was setting, now, turning the sky orange, and she couldn’t help but think that this was fitting. The sun was setting in her life, as well. It may be the last time she saw it, and she savored it, trying to dedicate it to memory.
A cough wracked her body. A hoof touched her shoulder, and she attempted to smile. Her daughter was with her now. She had come all the way from Ponyville, and stayed with her this past month as her condition deteriorated. Old age had been kind to her, letting her keep her mind and her appearance, but her immune system had weakened as it would with anyone. A simple cold had evolved into pneumonia that was consuming her now. She knew instinctively that her time was nearly up.
Life had been kind to her, though. At ninety five, she had lived a full life. Longer than most. And she was grateful for that. Her only regret was that she was leaving her daughter alone. Her husband, bless his soul, had passed away a year ago. It had been just her and her daughter ever since. She did not want to leave her daughter. She felt intense guilt about it. But she also knew that death was an inevitable consequence of life, and that it would come for every pony. She supposed though that she had never thought what it might be like when death came for her.
Windy Whistles felt exhaustion creep upon her. But she was afraid to shut her eyes for fear that they would not open again after she did so. So she fought to stay awake, her daughter sitting beside her. Rainbow Dash, now fully grown and a co-captain of the Wonderbolts alongside Spitfire, looked at her mother with worried eyes. A part of her knew that the end was looming, but she did not want to accept it. No one wanted to watch their Mother die. But she was committed to trying to make that time joyful, so that she wouldn’t make her mother sad in these last moments.
Windy looked at her daughter. In the mirror of her eyes she saw herself. Her life. Images passed her by, and she saw flashes of her life, from her childhood, to meeting and marrying Bow, to having her daughter and watching her grow up. Everything she loved so dearly was in those eyes. She saw herself in them, and she saw who her daughter had become. In that moment, she saw it all so clearly. The culmination of her life’s work was sitting beside her. She had put her heart and soul into raising her daughter, and she had done a good job by anyone’s standards. Her daughter had become a Wonderbolt, an element of harmony, had defended Equestria numerous times, and had won dozens of flying competitions. She was so proud of her. She reached out to stroke her daughter’s cheek.
“I’m so proud of you. You know that, right?” She asked.
Rainbow smiled. “I know, Mom. If it weren’t for you, I wouldn’t be who I am. I don’t think I tell you that enough.”
“You do. You tell me every single time you see me. It’s in your eyes.”
“You gave me those eyes.”
She smiled. “Yes, I did. But there are many things that I did not give you that you got on your own.”
Rainbow blinked. “Like what?”
“Your competitive spirit wasn’t from your father or me. We enjoyed competition, but not quite the same way you do. Your courage is from you. Even though your father and I have our moments, we haven’t had any like yours. And your brashness… well that is all you.”
“Hey!”
Windy managed a laugh. “I didn’t say they would all be good, did I?”
Rainbow smirked. “I guess you didn’t.”
Windy patted her daughter’s hoof. “You are everything I ever wanted in a daughter. And everything I didn’t know I needed.”
Rainbow had to swallow an obstruction in her throat. “You’re the best Mom. If it weren’t for you and Dad… I don’t think I would be here. You’ve done so much for me. You’re the real hero between us.”
Windy cracked a grin. “I don’t know. Saving Equestria several times over is hard to beat.”
“To raise the most awesome pony in Equestria who saved Equestria several times over beats it, I think. I mean, how many times did you have to get to me from flying off, or clean up broken vases from me flying in the house, or stop me from trying to sneak off to the Wonderbolts while still encouraging me to follow my dreams?”
Windy’s grin widened. “Maybe you’re right.”
Rainbow felt herself puff up. “I’m always right. You know that.” Windy started to laugh before she erupted into a coughing fit. She tried to sit up but Rainbow gently put a hoof to her chest and lowered her back down. “Easy there, Mama.”
Windy looked up at her and grinned brightly when she could catch her breath. “You haven’t called me that in a long time. I miss that.”
Rainbow gave a small smile. “I kind of forgot, I think. Trying to be the best and tough kind of doesn’t leave room for terms of endearment.”
Windy lifted up a hoof to touch her face. “You don’t have to be tough for me, you know. I was the one who held you when you cried from nightmares, when you broke a bone and had a cast, when you went through that phase where you only wore pink…”
“Hey! I thought we agreed never to speak of that again!”
“It’s one of my fondest memories. With you in that pink dress and you told me that you were going to be a princess.”
“I was three. I didn’t know any better!”
“And that is why I hold it so dear. That was one of the most fun ages for me. You were potty trained and very independent. You snuggled with me pretty often. You had the imagination and the drive to win, but you still spent a lot of time at home, exploring what you liked. But you still needed me for things.”
Rainbow’s eyes grew misty. “Mom, I’ll always need you. That won’t ever change.”
Windy smiled. “I know.” A tear trickled down Rainbow’s cheek that she tried to hide, but Windy saw and wiped it away. “But it’s a good thing that you don’t need me the way you did back then. It means I did my job and prepared you for the world.”
“You did a good job.” Rainbow’s voice was raw.
Windy smiled. “I know that every time I look at you. I see my love, my life. The best parts of me went into you. And I know you’ll carry me with you wherever you go. You already do.”
Rainbow tried to pretend that this was not a talk about the ever-looming future, but she was failing. “I try to.”
Windy felt her chest begin to tighten. She looked at her daughter. In Windy’s eyes there was a calm acceptance. In Rainbow’s there was fear and sadness. “Come here. Lay down.” She instructed. “One last time.”
Rainbow was at risk of losing the little composure she had managed to keep, but she obeyed. She climbed onto the large bed and carefully nuzzled into her side. She felt tears streaming down her face, despite trying to keep things joyful for her mother. “I love you, Mama.”
Windy smiled. For a moment, a heartbeat, she was a young mother again, holding her foal as her baby fell asleep after a long morning to take an afternoon nap. Then, she spoke. “I love you, my little Dashie. You are the greatest thing I ever did with myself. You are everything we ever wanted, your Daddy and I. You’re a fighter, and I know you will get through life the same way you got through all of it so far: With friends by your side. I wish I could take you with me where I’m going, but you have a life here. I know I don’t possess you. You’re your own pony, and you always have been. May Celestia someday bless you as you have blessed me. You are still my love and my life. The best part of my life. I love you.”
“I love you too.”
Windy’s breathing hitched, then quickened, as she tried to catch her breath. And then, just like that, her chest went still. No breath escaped her lips.
Rainbow broke out into gasping sobs, shaking and crying and nearly making herself sick. It wasn’t fair! She didn’t get to say everything she needed to say to her mother! How was she going to tell her how much she loved her glazed carrots, or how her singing voice made Rainbow giggle as a filly, or how her cheers at events sometimes gave her the extra power boost she needed to get through everything? How was she going to tell her mother just how much she loved and still needed her? She had said some of it, but not nearly enough. When she became capable of rational thought again, she knew what had to be done. She made arrangements for her mother to be picked up and taken to a funeral home, as she tried to comes to grips with all of this. She wandered around her mother’s home, aimless. She just didn’t think this was real. And then her mind played back the scene of her mother’s breathing stopping. And suddenly she was cold- chilled to the core. She somehow managed to make it to her bedroom, and she crawled underneath the covers. Eventually, she cried herself out, and fell asleep.
She dreamed, and her mind pulled up a memory of her mother. One from just before she left home for Ponyville. Her mother had sang to her, and gave her a paper to remember the words by. Now, her mind played the song back again, and she listened to the words.
“Remember me
And know that I am where you are,
Remember me
And know that I'm not that far.
For even when you close your eyes and go to sleep,
I'm right there beside you and I tell you not to weep.
Your memory is inside my heart and I will carry you with me
For all the days I live and beyond eternity.
For at the end of the day I will always remember you,
And though we are apart I hope you know that I love you.
Remember me
And listen to my plea,
Remember me
And perhaps someday we'll see
That we are not as far away as we once thought we'd be
So until I see you again
Remember me.”
And when she woke up, eventually, she was smiling.
Her mother wasn’t gone. Not really. She was still cheering for her from wherever she was now. She was alive in her memories, her love, her life. And for her sake, Rainbow Dash would live her best life, and make her mother proud.
