“So we’re on for flying kites tomorrow afternoon?” asked Starlight, her confident smile belied by the hope shining in her eyes.
“Okay,” said Maud neutrally.
Starlight released the breath she had been holding. “Great. I’ll see you at one o’clock?”
“Sure,” replied Maud stoically.
Starlight turned towards the exit of the cave, but paused before looking back to Maud. “I just want to say how nice it is to have you as a friend. With all the crazy in my life, it’s nice to have one pony who can help keep my life normal.”
“Sure,” repeated Maud in the same dull, monotone voice.
Her smile wide, she said with a cheery tone, “See you tomorrow.”
“Goodbye,” bade Maud. She silently watched as her friend climb out the entrance to the cave and disappeared from view.
After a moment, she turned back towards her secluded home and beheld a feast for the senses. A vast purple canopy adorned with lanterns sheltered a welcoming little nook. In one corner stood a neatly organized desk, while another held a comfy bed. Lining one wall was a tall bookcase, filled with thick volumes on plate tectonics, minerals and gems, easily putting the geology section of Twilight's personal library to shame. Beyond this cozy little nook, beautiful crystals and rare gems of every color decorated the grounds, their facets playing tricks with the soft light of the cave. And a few feet away, waterfalls cascaded into a deep pool of crystal-clear water. The soothing sounds reflected off the walls, filling the grotto with its melodic harmony. Occasional drafts brought in the scents of the flowers blooming outside, even as the cave maintained its constant 72° temperature. To almost everypony, this would have been heaven.
A small, definite frown formed on her lips. Her shoulders slumped and her tail fell to the floor as Maud let out a long, frustrated sigh. She turned from the sight and made her way to a cabinet, retrieving a box of matches. Lighting a nub of a candle, she wandered off into a small, unremarkable passage. Slowly the meager light of her candle faded as her silhouette disappeared into the blackness....
Behind lay nothing but darkness; ahead, only a silent black nothing. The flickering candle provided only the faintest glow, leaving the tunnel in a perpetual state of twilight. So weak was the candle that the light scarcely made it to the rough walls or the low-hanging ceiling just above Maud’s head. Every step was cautious, the barely perceptible rocks littering the floor threatened to trip her at every opportunity. But she pushed onwards, through the twisting labyrinth, climbing over boulders and squeezing through narrow crevices.
Finally, the tunnel began to expand, until Maud could no longer see the walls or ceiling. But given her feeble candle, it could have only been slightly larger than the claustrophobic tunnel she had just left.
Maud felt her way forward through the darkness. Suddenly her hoof touched a cold, smooth form blocking her path. She raised her candle and held it close to the object. Slowly the calcite column began to glow, its luminosity spreading to the countless stalactites overhead until the entire ceiling radiated in a warm, white light.
Setting the candle down next to the column, Maud walked over to the far wall. A shelf had been hoof-carved into the rock. Upon it lay stacks of overstuffed folders, the various papers and notes within spilling out. Maud picked up the first folder, titled “Nightmare Moon.”
It had only been a few months before the Summer Sun Celebration when Maud discovered the myth of the Mare in the Moon, the story of a fallen princess of immense power forever banished. Everypony asked said it was just an old mare’s tale, that the image was just a case of natural features feeding overactive imaginations. Even if the story was true, there was no way she could have survived there for a thousand years in such a far-off and alien place. And even if she did, the magic that imprisoned her was too strong for her to escape. But in the end they were all wrong, for it turned out the moon was just another rock.
Sighing, Maud set down the folder, and picked up one entitled “Discord.”
After Nightmare Moon came the Lord of Chaos. He rampaged across Equestria, causing havoc and driving ponies to near madness. Discord came close to breaking the Elements of Harmony, thereby cementing his freedom and ensuring his rule over the land forever. But the friendship between the Bearers proved too strong, and Discord was once again imprisoned. Enquiries held afterwards pointed to a group of school fillies who, through fighting in front of Discord’s statue, had unintentionally released him. It had been fortuitous that those three had taken the blame. Otherwise investigators would have continued to search for how the draconequus could have escaped his stone prison.
Maud looked to the next folder.
The changelings nearly succeeded in their plans. Queen Chrysalis had taken the guise of Princess Mi Amore Cadenza, sealing the real Cadence deep in the crystal caves beneath Canterlot. They were the same hidden passage that Chrysalis had originally used to access the royal palace. The caves had proven the perfect means of infiltration, for they had long been forgotten, remembered by only a hoof-full of history professors and explored by fewer geologists.
After their defeat, the changelings retreated to their hive. Here they sought refuge, rebuilding their strength and laying the groundwork for their next invasion. And here they were protected by Queen Chrysalis’s throne, a recently acquired dark stone that rendered anything but changeling magic useless.
Sighing again, Maud examined yet another folder.
The next threat to Equestria proved to be an old foe. King Sombra had once ruled his kingdom with an iron hoof. The entire population had been enslaved, every stallion, mare and foal, with the entire realm transformed into a military base from which to conquer all of Equestria. Only the royal sisters were able to stop him, using their magic to lock him away in an icy prison while the cursed Crystal Empire disappeared for more than a thousand years. When the Empire was brought back, in a feat only those intimately familiar with the nature of crystals could have accomplished, the dark lord was also resurrected to begin a new reign of terror. It had taken the combined efforts of the Bearers and Princess Cadence to vanquish King Sombra and preserve freedom in the land.
Maud set down the folder as she slowly shook her head. The next file gave a similar story.
Tirek nearly broke Equestria. The centaur stole the magic of the land as he went on his destructive rampage. Just when all seemed lost and Equestria was on its knees, the power of the friendship between the Bearers proved its strength yet again and stopped him, sending him back to his prison. But how had he broken out in the first place? The inescapable prison of Tartarus was buried deep in a mountain. Even if he could break the steel bars of his cage, the heavy gates were sealed with powerful magic. The only way to escape would have been to tunnel through hundreds of feet of granite.
Putting the file down, Maud saw a familiar name on the next folder.
Starlight Glimmer was not the typical villain Equestria had grown accustomed to over the previous years. She was not a monster, but a unicorn. Her motivations were egalitarian, and the end goal was not domination but equality. Though many shared her ideals, all agreed that the ends did not justify her means. After all, who wanted to give up their cutie marks to be locked away in a magic stone, a hidden stone that Starlight just happened to know about?
When she returned to seek her revenge, Starlight attempted to alter history and break the connection between the Bearers. She used the time spell created by Starswirl the Bearded. A second, though no less important, piece of the plan was the Cutie Map. The effect of the spell upon the crystal could only be predicted by those extremely knowledgeable in magic... or geology.
Yet again, Maud scrutinized another folder.
The Festival of Friendship should have been a joyous event. Thousands of ponies gathered from across Equestria, and when it ended they would carry the spirit of friendship back to their homelands. Instead, it would be always remembered for the invasion of the Storm King. His trusted lieutenant, the iron-hearted Tempest Shadow, used dark stones to turn the princesses into obsidian. Princess Twilight managed to run, for a time, but was captured and dragged back to Canterlot. There the Storm King used Staff of Sacanas to steal the magic of the four princesses, wielding the power through the glowing crystal embedded in the staff.
Sighing, Maud turned to the final folder on the shelf.
Cozy Glow had the perfect façade. After all, who would have suspected that under her cute, innocent exterior lurked a demented, twisted mind? Starlight had made an off-hoof comment that one of the students at the school misunderstood the true nature of friendship, but even the former villain-turned-counselor underestimated the truly devious nature of the filly. All that it took to unleash this power-hungry monster upon Equestria was a letter of introduction to a certain centaur locked away in Tartarus.
Maud finished reading her files and felt conflicted. On the one hoof, caution had been vindicated. Pinkie and her friends had proved remarkably resourceful, overcoming each seemingly impossible challenge and strengthening the bonds among them in the process. They were powerful foes. It had been wise to empower and release this rogues’ gallery upon Equestria. Their defeats provided invaluable information, and had shielded the true mastermind from danger or even suspicion.
But, on the other hoof, every one of the carefully planned plots had ended in failure with the defeat of these unwitting puppets. If they had succeeded, they would have taken down the guardians of the realm. Equestria would have been undefended and ripe for the taking. The only remaining task would have been to eliminate the pawns that had cleared the path to power.
Maud let out another sigh. Now what? She pondered who would be the next threat to Equestria. She looked down at the folder entitled “King Sombra.” A small smile formed on her lips. She turned and picked up the smoldering candle upon the floor and the light of the ceiling began to fade. The dark lord of the north would be given another chance. His defeat had left the Crystal Empire overconfident to the point of arrogant. And after all, if Sombra failed again, there were others. On her way out Maud passed a pile of rubble, fragments of what had once been a living creature that wielded the stolen power of the four princesses....
Author's Note
Thanks for reading! I can't believe it's been more than a year since I last published The Secret Life of... story.
This story was inspired by the below exchange:
and this flashback:
I must admit, that when I saw the trailer for Season 9, I knew I needed to write and publish this story quick.
I'm not one for conspiracy theories, but after researching and writing this story, I'm beginning to believe that Maud is secretly an evil lord working from the shadows. It all makes sense! 
Dreadnought
