Best Left Forgotten

Wallflower awoke with a start, her whole body tensing up in a moment of adrenaline that was gone as soon as it came. Bleary brown eyes opened to scan the area around her as she lifted her head from Sunset’s shoulder.

Something moved. Or... something flashed, that was it. Blindingly bright, enough to violently jerk her out of slumber. But now nothing was out there.

Was it just her dream? It wouldn’t be the first time a dream had been intense enough to wake her up, but she wasn’t having a nightmare. She hardly had those at all anymore, ever since she and Sunset started sharing a bed. Besides, Wallflower couldn’t remember anything bad in her dream—or what her dream had been at all, actually.

Another glance around the darkened loft confirmed that whatever the flash of light that woke her up was, it clearly wasn’t part of the waking world. She was safe.

Of course she was safe. After all, Sunset was here.

Moving slowly so as not to wake her girlfriend, Wallflower twisted around to face her. Sunset always talked about how cute Wallflower was when she was sleeping, and now Wallflower could say for certain that it definitely worked the other way around. Then again, Sunset was cute all the time.

The more Wallflower watched Sunset's short, wheezy breaths, the more she realized that Sunset actually looked... Well she didn’t look very comfortable. Her eyes were shut tight, with a small frown etched beneath. If Wallflower squinted hard enough, she could just barely make out a few beads of sweat on Sunset’s forehead.

That couldn’t be good. Did Sunset have a fever? Wallflower lightly pressed the back of her hand against Sunset’s cheek, but didn’t find her to be any warmer than expected. Maybe it was just because it was a little warm in the apartment, brought on by the late summer months. As Wallflower pulled her hand away, Sunset shifted slightly at the loss of contact.

Ah, there was that extra sleepy cuteness.

Smiling, Wallflower resettled beneath Sunset’s shoulder. Her hand moved beneath the comforter, finding Sunset’s hand and taking gentle hold of it. With a soft sigh and a contented hum, Wallflower nestled into her girlfriend and closed her eyes. A weird dream waking her up was a small price to pay to fall asleep in Sunset’s arms twice in one night.

The mid-afternoon sun stretched across the floor behind Wallflower as she sprayed the Maidenhairs three times each. Some cursory research online didn’t reveal as much as she’d liked about how to properly care for them, but that was alright. Figuring this out as she went was something that was actually in her admittedly small wheelhouse.

The click of the lock and the squealing of old hinges snapped her attention to the door. “Sunset?”

“H-hey, yeah it’s me.” Sunset sounded exhausted. “Got let out a little early.”

Wallflower made her way down the stairs and wrapped Sunset in a tight hug, same as she did every day. Rather than return the embrace as she usually did, though, Sunset squeezed her once and let go, stepping back to take off her shoes. She really did look worn out—if Wallflower hadn’t seen Sunset sleeping last night, she’d have thought Sunset never went to bed at all.

Making her way over to the couch, Sunset sat down slowly, as if worried it might not hold her weight. There she sat, staring at nothing as Wallflower leaned against the arm of the couch.

Fear gnawed at the edges of Wallflower’s concern. Sunset had seemed a little out of it before she left for work this morning, but nothing like this.

“So, if you’re home early, uhm...” Wallflower spoke slowly. “Do you wanna have Twilight over a little earlier instead?”

“Oh, uhh... I told her not to come today,” Sunset said.

Wallflower blinked. “Why?”

“Nothing serious.” Sunset’s voice never broke out of its monotone. “I just... I wasn’t feeling up to it today, that’s all.”

“What do you mean?”

“I guess I just didn’t sleep very well.” Sunset sighed. “I don’t really have the energy to put on a happy face for her.”

Now that was a familiar feeling. “But... why would you need to put on a happy face for her? She’s your friend, Sunset,” Wallflower said. “I’m sure she’d understand if you’re feeling down.”

The only reply Sunset gave was a barely-visible nod.

Wallflower chewed her lip as she watched Sunset just... sit there, silent, staring at her knees. It was like looking in a mirror at herself from a couple months ago, when it was all she could manage to eat one meal a day.

“Sunset?”

No response. Wallflower’s jaw clenched as she sat beside Sunset and put a hand on her shoulder. Wallflower half-expected her to flinch, but if Sunset had any reaction, Wallflower couldn’t see it.

“Sunset, please,” she said softly. “I know something’s wrong.”

Sunset just shook her head. “I promise I’m fine,” she said, only to hunch over as she spoke. “...Work was just really bad today.”

Wallflower knew that kind of excuse—a half-truth that something was bad, only because some unmentioned worse thing made it so. It was something she defaulted to more often than she should, but that’s because it was reliable. Sunset using it now was as clear a sign as any that no matter what Wallflower did, Sunset would not want to talk about what was bothering her.

Sunset was the emotional expert, not her. Wallflower didn’t know how to talk someone through their problems to make them feel better, let alone problems they didn’t want to discuss.

...Maybe she didn’t have to talk at all.

Slowly, Wallflower climbed atop Sunset, settling into her girlfriend’s lap as she knelt on the couch. Sunset held her gaze the whole time, leaning back a little more into the cushion as her hands rested on Wallflower’s hips. With her own hands on Sunset’s shoulders, Wallflower pressed a kiss to Sunset’s cheek, then her jaw—then she stopped, no more than an inch away from Sunset's lips.

She watched Sunset in silence. Sure enough, the hands on her hips pulled her in, bringing their lips together. The kiss seamlessly led into the next, and the next. With each new connection, Wallflower pushed further, her tongue gently pressing against Sunset’s lips.

It didn’t matter if Sunset wouldn’t say what was wrong—Wallflower could still make her feel better. Wallflower could still make her happy.

Again, Wallflower kissed her, mouth softly open as she felt Sunset at last reciprocate with a deeper kiss. An amber hand rose to Wallflower’s cheek, warm and steady as she leaned into it.

Sunset wanted her, Wallflower could tell. Sunset wanted her. She was just waiting for Wallflower to say something, do something, give some signal that it was okay for them to do more. Sunset was so thoughtful like that, so kind. She was still so patient, even after everything Wallflower had put her through.

The least Wallflower could do was reward that patience.

As she kissed Sunset again, Wallflower touched her hand to the one on her cheek. As gently as she could, Wallflower led Sunset’s hand from her cheek down to the lower hem of her shirt.

Immediately, Sunset broke off the kiss. Her eyes flicked down to her hand, then up to Wallflower’s face, briefly stopping in between.

“Wally...?” Sunset’s voice was heavy and dry. “Are... are you sure?”

Of course she was sure. If she wasn’t, she wouldn’t be doing this.

Sunset really was too good to her.

“Mhmm.” Wallflower smiled. “I want you to.”

For a moment, Sunset just stared at her with those brilliant blue eyes. Then, with a slow nod and a shaky exhale, Sunset’s gaze turned down, and her fingers slipped beneath Wallflower’s shirt.

The feeling of a hand drifting up her body set off every alarm in Wallflower’s head. Holding her breath, she shut her eyes as tight as she could and pushed the adrenaline back. She would not allow her stupid broken brain to ruin this because of something that happened ages ago. Besides, Sunset liked it whenever Wallflower touched her—Wallflower should like this too. She did like this! This was a good thing. This was a fun thing. Normal couples did stuff like this all the time, and more, without any issue.

She was safe here. She was safe with Sunset. Nothing Sunset did for her, with her or to her could ever hurt.

That assertion was tested the second Sunset’s hand slid over the band of a plain white sports bra. Wallflower focused intently on Sunset’s face, frozen in an expression of... shock? Wonder? Wallflower really couldn’t tell. Either way, keeping her eyes on Sunset was the best way to anchor her thoughts and keep them from drifting into rougher waters.

A warm hand cupped her breast, fingers spreading over the fabric of her bra. Every movement Sunset made was slow and measured, and periodically she would look up at Wallflower as if expecting to be told to stop. Spikes of adrenaline rose with every gentle squeeze and knead, but each was easier to force down than the one before. As Sunset moved her hand to the other breast, Wallflower let out a wobbly sigh and tried to relax her muscles as much as she could.

This was okay. She was okay.

Seconds passed into minutes. Wallflower didn’t speak, content to watch the expression on Sunset’s face as it shifted from caution to enjoyment. Another hand joined the first beneath Wallflower’s shirt, and Wallflower drifted forward a bit as it smoothly rubbed her back.

“Can I, uhm...” Sunset spoke up, her voice a little shaky. She ran a finger across Wallflower’s back, dipping the tiniest bit beneath the band of her bra. "Can I take it off...?"

Oh.

Sunset wanted more.

Sunset wanted more of her. And she was actually asking herself, rather than waiting for Wallflower to push the issue.

Wallflower couldn’t tell if the fluttering feeling in her chest was anxiety, surprise or something else entirely.

Whatever it was, it wasn’t going to stop her from meeting Sunset’s gaze and nodding.

Sunset responded with a kiss and a smile. Wallflower sat up in her lap, took a deep breath and pulled off the shirt covering her. This wouldn’t be the first time Sunset had... seen her. She’d seen on the night Wallflower first told Sunset she loved her, and if Sunset’s magic geode worked the way Wallflower thought it did, then on the night Wallflower moved in...

It didn’t matter. Second or third time, this still felt different.

Wallflower didn’t exactly love how her body looked. After gaining back some of the weight she'd lost when living on her own, she was somehow simultaneously too skinny and too fat, misproportioned all over. While Sunset was attractive without even trying, Wallflower couldn’t manage it no matter how much effort she put in. It was one of several reasons she avoided looking at her reflection whenever she was near a mirror.

Judging by the look on Sunset’s face as her eyes drifted up and down, she would probably disagree on all of that.

One by one, fingers slipped beneath the elastic band. Wallflower tried not to shiver too much at the feeling of Sunset’s hand inside her bra, warmly covering her breast, thumb brushing over her—

A sudden well of confidence surged through Wallflower’s mind, pushing back the spasms of panic and the quiet twisting in her gut. She could handle it. Despite all her stupid impulsive fears that would never shut up, she could do this and be okay.

Without a word of warning to Sunset, Wallflower pulled the bra off entirely and dropped it on the couch beside them.

The kiss was swift and sudden, but Wallflower didn’t care. She was fine. More than that, she was enjoying herself. She could do this and she could do more, because it was with someone she loved. With Sunset, she could feel just like a normal person and nothing could ever take that away from her.

Sunset lowered her lips from Wallflower’s face to her neck, then along her collarbone. Wallflower knew what she was doing, where she was going, but that was okay. Sunset could do more, Sunset deserved more. Wallflower could handle it now, and if she could handle this, she could handle anything. She leaned forward as Sunset leaned back, her hair forming a messy green curtain around them as the hand on her back pulled her in towards Sunset. Brazen affection flashed in Sunset’s eyes as she looked up at Wallflower, closed in and—

“Mmnh...”

Sunset looked so happy.

“Hnn...!”

It was all worth it to see her happy.

“Ha-ahh...!”

Sunset never stopped kissing, tasting, suckling. Wallflower clung tightly to her girlfriend, her head resting atop Sunset’s own as fleeting tingles of pleasure warred with the constant adrenal horror scraping at the back of her mind.

But none of that mattered. Sunset was happy.

That’s all Wallflower needed to be happy too.