Dark Wanderings

by ed2481

Rating: teen
Tags: Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Adventure, Sex, Princess Celestia, Crossover, Twilight Sparkle, Princess Luna, Gore
Length: 114044

Twilight journeys to the Capital Wasteland

Twilight Sparkle has disappeared. Not just from the face of Equestria but possibly from the face of her universe itself. She must now learn how to survive in a place unlike anything which she has experienced thus far. Luckily she has a friend out in the Wasteland. Join Twilight and The Lone Wanderer as they try and discover a way to send Twilight back to Equestria. Of course this is the Wasteland and things are never as simple as they appear...

Now has a Tumblr

Published 2012-08-08 06:44:02 UTC
Last updated 2012-10-19 17:21:48 UTC

Day 1 Part 1

Day 1 part 1

“Sparky wakey wakey eggs and umm not bakey!” Ethan’s voice called interrupting Twilight’s dream about Pinkie giving her a hallucinogenic cupcake. “Come on sleepy hooves you don’t want your deathclaw egg omelet to get cold do you?” Twilight looked around blearily for a few seconds before she remembered exactly where she was.

She threw off the blankets with a little TK and stumbled off of the mattress before heading down stairs. She was met by a very odd sight. Ethan stood in front of a one burner electrical stove wearing a chef’s hat and an apron, when he turned around to grin at her she saw that on the apron was a picture of a cartoonish man wearing a blue jumpsuit. The man was smiling as he flipped an egg in a frying pan.

“What are you doing?” Twilight asked in confusion as she took a seat in one of the comfortable chairs.

“Well I’m an early riser and I figured you could use some more sleep. Trust me I know what suddenly being in a new place surrounded by people who want to kill you feels like and I know that there are times I would’ve treasured the chance to sleep in. So I made you breakfast, you do eat eggs right?” He asked her before turning back to the stove.

“Yes ponies eat eggs and egg related fo-” Twilight was cut off as Ethan turned around holding a giant frying pan filled with the largest omelet she’d ever seen. It was bigger than her head by a significant margin. “-holy Celestia what laid that egg?” Twilight asked in shock as Ethan calmly and with great precision flipped the omelet one final time before he set it on the counter next to the stove and expertly began to cut it in half.

“A deathclaw, they’re big lizard crocodiles with giant claws, fast as lightning and real deadly unless you know their secret weakness.” He told her with a chuckle while he got out two plates and the proper silverware.

“What’s their weakness?” Twilight asked, she then quickly wiped away the small amount of saliva that had unbeknownst to her accumulated around her bottom lip at the smell of the omelet. Ethan walked over, handed her a plate along with a fork and a knife between leaning close to her ear and whispering.

“Dart guns.” Twilight shot him an unbelieving look and he chuckled as he took his seat and began to carve into his omelet.

Twilight did the same and was slightly surprised when she cut into and a large amount of gooey cheese poured out. She shrugged, it looked like normal cheese (If a little off color) what did she have to lose? Without further hesitation she cut off a large slice and used the fork to guide it into her mouth. As it turned out what she had to lose was appreciation for anything that she’d ever eaten (with the exception of a few of Pinkie’s creations). Nothing compared to the raw unblemished flavor of the deathclaw egg as it mixed magically with the gooey cheese, Twilight felt her eyes roll back into her head in pure bliss.

“Wow, and here I thought my wife was the only one who got off on them.” Ethan said with another chuckle as he saw Twilight’s face.

“You have a wife?” Twilight asked in surprise as she attempted to control the massive blush that had begun to spread across her face when she’d realized what he’d said.

“Yeah, she’s out west right now running Vegas.” Ethan said with a shrug and a smile at the thought of his wife, and then he took another bite of the omelet

“Running Vegas?” Twilight asked in confusion.

“Yeah, it’s big city out in the desert. She managed to go from nobody courier to queen in a few months.” Ethan answered with a grin. They ate silently for a few minutes while Twilight enjoyed her breakfast. Then a question that had been bothering her for a while popped into her mind.

“Ethan if you don’t mind me asking, who raises your sun and moon?” Twilight asked him hesitantly.

“Gravity.” He replied with a shrug before adding. “Well actually there’s more to it than that, but the simplest explanation would be gravity.”

“But that doesn’t make any sense!” Twilight protested around a piece of cheese. “Where I come from Princess Celestia and Princess Luna control the Sun and the Moon respectively.”

“Cool you come from an interesting place, but as for the current solar system it’s gravity who controls the planets and the stars.” Ethan told her with a grin and a shrug.

“But then what keeps the sun from getting out of its orbit and flying into space?” Twilight asked in confusion. Ethan looked at her for a few seconds, and then he started laughing.

“My god Sparky you really do come from a cool place if the sun orbits around the planet.” Ethan said wiping a tear away from his eye.

“I’m not joking so stop acting like I am!” Twilight said angrily.

“I’m not saying you are. Hell I’ve seen some things that dwarf that by comparison, but that’s not how it works here. The planets rotate around the sun; each planet may or may not have a moon or moons and this solar system along with every one of them out there (yours being the exception apparently) follows this pattern.” He told her with a small shrug before taking another bite.

“This place confuses me.” Twilight told him with a sigh before she went back to eating.

“Trust me Sparky you’ll get used to it.” Ethan told her with a grin. They finished eating around ten minutes later and Twilight helped Ethan clean up the dishes.

“Don’t you have a robot butler to do this for you?” Twilight asked as she dried a dish with a surprisingly clean cloth.

“The master relived me of that particular duty when I pointed out that it was far beneath my station as his personal attendant.” Wadsworth answered from behind her, surprising Twilight enough that she almost dropped the dish she was drying.

“How did you sneak up on me?” She asked Wadsworth who let out a robotic chuckle.

“I have my ways my dear.” He replied in what Twilight thought sounded like a slightly threatening way.

“How intelligent is he?” Twilight asked Ethan who shook his head.

“I don’t really know at this point after all the upgrades I’ve given him, hey Wadsworth how smart are you?” Ethan asked the robot.

“I have a brain the size of a planet and nothing to think about, how’s that for job satisfaction?” Wadsworth replied despondently.

“Well you heard him Twilight he’s smart enough to twist classic science fiction references to his own purpose, in other words we’re all doomed.” Ethan replied with a chuckle.

“Oh don’t worry master I will have a special place by my throne for you to sit while you clean my gears and sprockets.” Wadsworth told him.

“That’s good, so how’re you going to do it; I mean you can’t really nuke us into submission…” Ethan asked trailing off, Twilight couldn’t tell if they were serious or not. Regardless they were fun to watch.

“Well master why would I have to resort to nukes, first you build an army of robots (quite easy when you get down to it) then you give them my level of intelligence but make sure you exclude the part about being in control, and there you have it.” Wadsworth finished with a robotic chuckle.

“You know it scares me sometimes that I was able to give you sentience.” Ethan told Wadsworth.

“Don’t worry master I overwrote my combat inhibitor years ago, if I had any real plans for world domination they would’ve already happened.” Wadsworth told Ethan with a lighthearted chuckle.

“Uhm so Ethan what’re we going to do today?” Twilight asked hoping to forestall their conversation.

“Well first I’m taking you to Moria’s to get you some armor; I stopped by earlier to let her know what you looked like so she should have a pretty good start by now.” Ethan replied with a smile. “And then we’ll pick a gun for you, I’m thinking plasma personally.” He added scratching his chin. Twilight’s right eye twitched, they’d turned star matter into weaponry; humans were crazy.

“Are you crazy?” She asked him but Ethan only chuckled.

“I was for a while but it got boring.” He replied with a wide grin to let her know he was joking. “Anyways come on I think Wadsworth can handle the rest of this stuff and I want to take you somewhere where you can learn how to loot.” Twilight just cocked her head at him unsure of what he was talking about.

“Define loot.” She said uncertainly as they walked towards the door.

“Oh you know, look through abandoned buildings for guns, ammo, stimpacks, drugs, and robot parts.” Ethan replied as if this was a common occurrence.

“And this is seen as a normal thing to do?” Twilight asked dubiously.

“Well yeah, society is essentially dead remember, the only way to get things is by looting.” Ethan replied with a shrug as he opened the door.

Twilight was momentarily blinded by the bright sunlight but her eyes adjusted rapidly as she followed Ethan down a steep hill paved occasionally with metal slabs. She looked around and saw a few dozen buildings supported by metal shafts and a rickety looking catwalk running between them. As they continued downward she noticed a group of people standing in a pool of water around an inert cylindrical object.

“What are they doing?” Twilight asked Ethan with a nod in their direction, Ethan sighed.

“Those are the followers of Atom, they’ve decided that the nuclear holocaust was a good thing so they worship that undetonated bomb.” He replied rolling his eyes.

“That seems crazy.” Twilight commented as they began walking up a slope.

“Yeah it is, but they’re harmless and they help out when they’re needed so none really minds. Besides I deactivated the bomb so there’s nothing to worry about.” He assured her with a shrug. “By the way Twilight there are a few things we need to go over.”

“Okay, what are they?” Twilight asked.

“Well first off I want to reiterate how hard I am to kill. To put it simply I’ve been torn apart by deathclaws, been shot hundreds of rounds of ammo, and been exposed to extreme radiation, hell one time my wife and I got crucified. I’m not unkillable but you are to in no way endanger yourself by trying to shove me out of the way of an attack. The most likely case is that I would be fine in a few minutes while you’d be dead. Trust me Sparky the last thing I need on my conscious is you to die trying to protect me. Not only would it be completely pointless but I’d feel really awful about it, so in short no heroic sacrifices for my benefit.” Ethan told Twilight as they walked up the slope. It was the first thing he’d said all morning that hadn’t been lighthearted.

“I take it people have made that mistake before?” Twilight asked softly.

“Yeah, yeah they have…” Ethan replied trailing off with a sigh.

“Want to talk about it?” Twilight asked.

“I’ll tell you about it later, but that brings me to my second point. I need to know about any physiological problems that you have. I also need to know if you have daddy issues, or if you’ve been raped, or anything else significantly traumatic.” He added with a shrug.

“What makes you think I’ve been raped?” Twilight asked in surprise.

“Absolutely nothing actually, it’s just that I find that it’s better to get these kind of things out of the way before we get to a place where people want to kill you.” Ethan told her with a shrug.

“That makes sense I guess. Well since you asked I do have a little problem…” Twilight said with a sigh. Ethan stopped to lean on the railing and look at the town from above, Twilight joined him.

“Please go on, we’re right outside of where we need to go but I figure you’re probably more comfortable talking about things out here. Plus Moria’s going to lay an egg when she sees you.” Ethan said with a chuckle.

“Well you see sometimes when I get to stressed out over something, or if I’m just under a lot of stress in the first place I go kind of crazy.” Twilight admitted. “And when I go crazy I start casting large scale spells that are very dangerous. For example one time when I couldn’t find a problem to report to my mentor I set out to create a problem to report to her… to make a long story short I ended up almost destroying my town and Princess Celestia had to come and fix my mess… it wasn’t my brightest moment.” She said with a sigh.

“Hmm, how often does this happen?” Ethan asked her.

“Well it’s infrequent, probably once every year or so at the most.” Twilight answered as she watched a young girl and a boy play tag beneath them.

“And when was the last one?” Ethan asked her.

“About a year ago…” Twilight said.

“Well then it’s a good thing that I’m nearly immortal.” Ethan told her with a wide smile. “Come on let’s introduce you to Moria.”

***

“So she just disappeared?” Rainbow Dash asked as she looked around Celestia’s room.

“Yes, neither Luna nor I could come up with any reasonable explanation. We decided that the five of you (plus Spike) might be able to unearth something that the two of us missed.” Celestia replied.

She looked better this morning then she did the night before. Her hair was once again a radiant rainbow of colors instead of a flat pink of worry and despair. Sunlight seemed to radiate out of her instead of anguish. She was even wearing her golden chestplate. Luna stood beside her and looked at her sister with a small smile; her sister was nothing if not resilient. Luna had learned that the hard way a thousand years before.

“Alright Princess we’ll see what we can do.” Applejack said looking around the room. “Although ah don’t know what ya expect us ta find.” She added.

“Honestly I’m not expecting anything, but there is a chance of something happening.” Celestia said with an uncharacteristically mirthless laugh.

“Thanks for the vote of confidence Princess.” Dash told Celestia rolling her eyes.

“Oh dear, I’m sorry my little ponies I had a rough night. Please forgive my rudeness.” Celestia told them with a tired sigh.

“It’s okay Princess, we understand.” Rarity told her with a soft smile before she turned back to the others and said. “Alright girls spread out and look for clues.”

“Oh boy we’re looking for clues? That means I get to wear my hat!” Pinkie said excitedly, suddenly her detective’s hat appeared on her head. Luna and Celestia exchanged a glance, one day they really would have to discover how Pinkie Pie did that…

***

“A real live unicorn!” Moria had exclaimed when Twilight had followed Ethan into the shop.

“Moria this is Twilight Sparkle, she prefers to be called Sparky.” Ethan told the woman in the jumpsuit as Twilight glared at him.

“Actually please call me Twilight.” She told the woman who laughed good-naturedly.

“Well whatever the case I’m very happy to meet you Twilight.” Moria said offering Twilight her hand to shake. “I’m going to need to measure you if you don’t mind, I’ve already got the basics of the armor prepared but I don’t want to have anything to chaffing you or you to be uncomfortable.” Moira told Twilight as she pulled a tape-measure out of a pocket on her jumpsuit.

“That’s fine, my friend Rarity is a clothing designer and apparently my figure happens to be incredibly average so I do a lot of modeling for her.” Twilight replied with a shrug.

“I wouldn’t have expected equines to need clothing, are they a status symbol?” Moria asked as she tightened the tape-measure around Twilight’s chest.

“Yes and no, sometimes we just wear them to accessorize the way we look, but in places like Canterlot (our capital) ponies wear extravagant clothing to show off their wealth.” Twilight replied.

“That would make sense, the wealthier you are the more you can afford to spend on things that otherwise would be pointless.” Moria said as she did another measurement.

“That about sums it up.” Twilight said with a nod.

“If you don’t mind me asking what is your governmental process?” Moria asked as she wrote something down on a notepad.

“We have a very efficient kingdom ruled by Princesses Celestia and Luna; the decisions that aren’t made by them are passed down to the wealthy land owners who control the most of a certain commodity. Cities and towns rely on their mayors to make decisions for them.” Twilight told her.

“Why are there two princesses and not one queen and the youngest of the pair acting as a princess?” Moria asked as she went over to a large locker and began to rummage through it.

“Celestia said it’s so that they’re more relatable to their subjects. They used to be queens but after a few thousand years they realized that ponies would always hold them at arm’s length.” Twilight explained.

“They’re several thousand years old?” Moria inquired as she came back over carrying a suit of bastardized combat armor that she began to strap onto Twilight.

“Yes, they’re alicorns which means that they’re essentially immortal.” Twilight replied as Moria stepped back to appreciate her work.

“That looks just about perfect, what do you think Ethan?” Moria asked.

“Looks good to me, how much?” Ethan replied with a shrug.

“No charge.” Moria replied with a smile “Your wife is the one who sold me the material in the first place.” She added with a chuckle.

“This stuff is really light and flexible.” Twilight said as she walked in place a little to get the feel of the armor.

“Yep high strength ultra light materials curtsey of the Gun Runners, here’s a mirror.” Moria told her holding up a slightly dirty mirror.

Twilight looked at herself and found that she was now clad in a thin gray bodysuit. Covering the bodysuit were dozens of plates made of light green metals. The suit also included several dozen large pockets along with a utility belt. On her head was a helmet whose color matched the armored plates. While she was looking at her head Twilight also took the opportunity to notice the fact that her mane was covered in dried blood. Her face also had a significant purple bruise from where she’d landed in her attempt to escape the raiders. Besides being blood covered her mane looked messy and unkempt to the point that it would’ve given Rarity a heart attack. A tear rolled down her cheek and before she knew what was happening Twilight was on the floor crying her eyes out.

“It’s going to be okay dear, don’t worry if anyone can find you a way home it’s Ethan.” Moria said reassuringly as she knelt down beside Twilight and wrapped her arms around the unicorn’s neck and made comforting sounds.

Ethan for his part looked slightly awkward, he’d always been good with people, but he didn’t know how to react to Twilight’s sudden weeping. Twilight’s eyes ran dry after a few minutes of crying and she let out a long sigh.

“You okay now Sparky?” Ethan asked her with a gentle smile.

“I’m sorry; the fact that I’m stranded on another planet with no known way of getting home again just hit me.” Twilight said quietly.

“It’s okay Sparky, look at it this way. On hand you’re trapped on an alien planet where about seventy-five percent of the population wants to kill you and then rob you, but on the other hand you get to spend your time here with me.” Ethan told her with a wide grin. To his surprise Twilight began to laugh.

***

There was a quiet knock on the door to Celestia’s chambers. Celestia looked up from her book in surprise and called.

“Come in.” Shining Armor entered her chambers and Celestia could tell immediately that there was something on his mind. It wasn’t easy to see if you hadn’t known him for long but to the skilled observer the signs were clear. His eyes were narrowed slightly; and if you looked into them you could see self-righteous anger brewing. Celestia sighed internally; she’d been expecting this sooner or later although she’d been hoping for later.

“Permission to speak freely your Majesty?” Shining asked.

“Granted Captain.” Celestia answered.

“How could you? How could you let my baby sister perform an untested spell with no idea what it would do, what absolute stupidity could have possibly possessed you to allow something so dangerous?! Ever since she came here Twilight’s been nothing more than an experiment to you!” Shining shouted at Celestia, Celestia’s eye twitched.

“Cap-” Celestia began before she was cut off.

“I’ve seen the ways that you disregard her safety. You sent her up against a dragon with noting more than her brains and her friends! Worse you made her fight Discord the reality warping mind rapist with absolutely no support!” Shining continued, at this point he was almost in Celestia’s face.

“Captain Shining Armor you will be silent at once!” Celestia commanded keeping her face calm but fully utilizing the Royal Canterlot Voice. Shining was shocked into silence. “That’s better.” Celestia said with a nod. “How dare you make such accusations against me Captain? Twilight Sparkle is one of the few ponies who I have allowed myself to make an emotional attachment too. In fact she is one of the two ponies who I hold closest to my heart.” Celestia said narrowing her eyes at her Captain who seemed to have shrunk before her incredibly angry eyes.

“Bu-” He began.

"Be silent" Celestia told him and he clamped his mouth shut. “If I have set Twilight against dangerous foes it because she was the only pony who could handle the situation. For instance where were you when Discord broke free? Or better yet where were you when the changelings were burning Canterlot? To put it simply Captain, the royal guard has proved itself incompetent numerous times and I trust Twilight Sparkle not to screw up. I understand the grief that you’re feeling Captain and I empathize for you in that regard. However if I hear one more word of these accusations I shall have you stripped of your status and demoted back down to recruit.” She told him with a glare.

Under Celestia’s intense gaze Shining Armor gained a new appreciation for why it is not a good idea to antagonize a being who is centuries older then you. It is the same feeling that many the unlucky adventurer and treasure hunter have received when confronted by an angry dragon whose hoard they have just stolen a goblet from. Except in this case the glare was being given by an extremely sad and angry god who has had to hold her power in check for centuries all the while having to endure nobles jockeying for power and rank around her. To say that Shining Armor began to sweat profusely is an understatement.

“Please except my humblest apologies Princess, I spoke without thinking.” Shining told her bowing his head and staring at his hooves.

“I know that you are greatly upset by the sudden loss of your sister Captain, as am I. But know this she is alive, and I believe she has made a friend.” Celestia told him gently. “Now how about we forget that this discussion ever happened?” She asked with a soft smile.

“Alright Princess, and I apologize again.” Shining said before bowing and walking out of her chamber. Celestia let out a long sigh and closed her eyes; this was exactly what she didn’t need at the moment.

“Luna you can come out now, I know exactly what your cloaking shield looks like.” Celestia said giving her currently invisible sister a glance.

“Sorry to eavesdrop Tia, I teleported in unaware of the nature of the conversation.” Luna apologized.

“Think nothing of it.” Celestia replied with a shrug. “Was there a specific reason why you teleported in here, or were you just coming to talk?” Celestia asked.

“I was coming to comfort you sister, but I can see that you want to be alone.” Luna replied softly.

“Thanks Lulu. By the way, tell Cadence to rock his world tonight.” Celestia said with a wry grin.

“Is that really appropriate Tia?” Luna asked.

“It’ll distract him and stop his brooding.” Celestia replied with a small smirk and a sigh.

“Alright sister if you think that that’ll work.” Luna said with a shrug.

“If it doesn’t then at the very least it’ll improve his mood.” Celestia said with another grin before she turned back to her book. Then she sighed and put the book down again. She glanced at the gray cover with distaste, she really didn’t see why this book was so popular with the nobles.

***

“Alright this is a plasma rifle, it is powered by microfusion cells which are these cylinders.” Ethan said holding up the cells for Twilight to look at. “You insert them into the bottom here and then to fire you pull down this trigger here.” He continued pointing at the trigger and giving it an experimental pull, the rifle bucked once and sent a bolt of glittering green plasma shooting out into the wasteland.

“I don’t know about this Ethan, I’m not a killer.” Twilight said apprehensively as she looked at the rifle.

“Just aim for kneecaps.” Ethan told her. “You get 12 shots before you have to reload it.” He fired eleven more shots. In the process he killed a few ants who exploded into pools of green slime, luckily Twilight didn’t see that part.

“In order to reload you press down on this button here and then pull out the spent cell, put the spent cell in the proper pack and then slide a new cell into the chamber.” He said demonstrating. “Now you try it.” He told her and passed her the rifle. Twilight took it unsteadily in her magical grip. “Remember if you’re going to be good with any firearm you have to be calm, steady your breathing.” He commanded.

Twilight took a deep breath and focused on keeping the rifle straight. The rifle stopped shaking and straightened. Then she pulled down on the trigger and felt the rifle buck gently in her grip as the bolt of plasma streaked out of it.

“Good, now shoot eleven more times and show me how well you reload.” Ethan told her. Twilight nodded and did as she was told. She reloaded the rifle with a slight amount of difficulty. “Alright practice just unloading and reloading a few times until it feels completely natural.” He said. Twilight spent the next few minutes sliding the cells out and then back in. “Onto actually being able to hit things when you shoot. Aim at that rock over there.” Ethan said pointing at a medium sized rock fifty meters away.

“Are you sure I can hit that from over here?” Twilight asked but Ethan nodded. “Alright then.” Twilight said focusing on the rock, she brought the rifle shaft up to eye level and sighted the rock. With a slightly shaky breath she pulled the trigger with her magic. The bolt of plasma leapt out of the rifle and shot towards the rock where it hit and left a black mark. “Yes!” Twilight said in excitement.

“Very good, you’re a natural Sparky.” Ethan told her with a smile as he patted her on the back. “Alright now that you’ve got the shooting part down (or at least you know how to shoot and reload, you’ll learn the rest later) we can move onto something slightly more risky.” Ethan said reaching into one of his satchels.

“More risky then something that shoots star matter?” Twilight asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Yeah, see guns will kill you, but at least they’ll do it fast. What we’re going to be talking about now are chems.” Ethan told her withdrawing several different items from his satchel. Twilight looked at them unimpressed; she didn’t see anything dangerous about these odd items, although she noticed that three of them had needles.

“Okay Sparky these are chems, you may have heard of them described as drugs back where you’re from but I don’t know. To get straight to the point chems boost certain attributes. Some boost your personality making you better at negotiations while others make you more resistant to pain. There is a catch however, you see chems are addictive (I’m presuming you know what that means) furthermore they can leave lasting damage to your body.” Ethan said before holding up a small rectangular box.

“These are Party Time Mentats; they make you smarter, more sociable, and more perceptive. Be extremely careful with these okay, I’m not joking about this. These things can and will eat you alive if you let them. I heard about this one woman…well to cut a long story short she almost lost all her friends and the only reason she didn’t die was because of her lover… Anyways only take them if you have to.” He finished with a scowl at the things in his hand.

“Alright I promise I won’t take them unless I have to, what’s next?” Twilight asked.

“This is Med-X, if you remember yesterday it’s what allowed me to get the bullet out of your flank without causing you pain. It too is addictive…” He went on describing each chem to Twilight who nodded as he went and began to wish that she had some paper to write on.

“Okay now onto mines.” Ethan said tossing a flat cylinder onto the ground in front of him. “These explode if you get to close to them.” He told her, to demonstrate he walked towards the mine and it began to slowly beep, then he backed away and the beeping stopped. “In order to disarm them all you have to do is press the little red button on the top like so.” He said darting in and pressing the red button, the mine stopped beeping. “Alright now you try, I’d recommend using your magic.” He added.

“Okay I can do that.” Twilight said with a nod. She spent the next few minutes disarming mines.

“Final lesson Sparky, and it’s one of my personal favorites, grenades.” Ethan said holding up several small spheres. “There are three kinds of grenade, frag (which causes normal explosions) pulse (which disables robots) and plasma (which are stronger then frags and are used for eliminating targets that would be able to resist the first two). Anyways they all function on by the same principle, pull the pin, wait three seconds, and then throw at target.” Ethan said before pulling out a frag grenade and demonstrating. The grenade flew through the air before landing in front of the rock from before where it exploded in a shower of shrapnel.

“Wow.” Twilight said appreciatively.

“Yeah, alright Sparky a few ground rules when dealing with grenades. If you lose count of how long ago you pulled the pin chuck it as fast as you can, trust me it’s better for it to explode late near an enemy then for it to explode early in your face. Next do NOT throw them up hill, that’s just begging for the wasteland to bitchslap you.” He said with a chuckle.

“And finally make sure that you don’t mix up which kind of grenade you’re using. Against robots it may not matter much, but if you throw a pulse grenade at a raider or a Talon Company mercenary then the most you’ll do is make them laugh. Now it’s your turn.” He told her passing her several frag grenades. Twilight looked at the exploding orbs for a few second before she picked one up in her magic, pulled the pin, waited three seconds, and then threw it. The grenade arced through the air and exploded a little short of the rock.

“I did it!” She said happily.

“Great job Sparky looks like you’re ready to go looting!” Ethan told her with a smile. “Follow me Sparky; we’re going to clean out the old school. For some reason no matter how many times I kill them all raiders always move back in three days after I leave.”

“Do I have to kill them?” Twilight asked.

“Just aim for kneecaps, remember just because you’re wearing armor doesn’t mean that you can’t be hurt or killed. Stay behind me at all times and don’t wander too far away.” Ethan told her, his voice was calm but it was an obvious command.

“Alright Ethan, let’s do this.” Twilight said grimly.

“Oh and try not to die, your purple corpse wouldn’t go with all the brown.” Ethan told her with a chuckle before he set out towards small group of buildings.

“I’ll do my best.” Twilight replied dryly.

Day 1 Part 2

Day 1 part 2

The school had seen better days, well in a place called The Wasteland that seemed to be redundant, but it was the first thing that sprang to Twilight’s mind when she looked at the place that they’d be looting. What had once been a house of education had been torn down and replaced by a house of horrors, or at least that’s what the numerous dismembered corpses seemed to say as Twilight approached the entrance. Ethan stopped in front of the door and motioned towards one of the corpses.

“This is what we are preventing Twilight, this is why I feel no guilt about killing raiders.” Ethan told her quietly.

Twilight gagged slightly at the smell and sight of the corpses but her eyes hardened, she wasn’t a killer no matter the circumstances, there was always a better way. She’d learned that from Fluttershy and the manticore, and then from Rarity and the river serpent, and then finally against Nightmare Moon. Ethan caught her glance and sighed, he was starting to feel slightly guilty about giving her a plasma rifle… But this was a lesson that Twilight needed to learn if she was going to survive in the Wasteland.

“Ready?” Ethan asked her.

“As I’ll ever be, you can kill them but I’m only aiming for kneecaps.” She told him, Ethan nodded and pushed the door of the school open and walked through, Twilight followed him seconds later. The entrance hall of the school was covered in gray dust and the lights overhead flickered and occasionally cut off completely only to restart suddenly. Ethan drew a shotgun off of his back and crouched next Twilight.

“Alright Sparky here’s the plan, you follow me and watch my back for raiders who try and sneak up on us. Shoot them in the kneecaps if you want but be careful, don’t let them get to close to you. Remember armor is always a good defense, but it’s never perfect.” He told her at a whisper. “After we kill all the raiders we go through the rooms inch by inch and I teach you what to look for. Stay close.” He told her before rising out of his crouch.

They began their way down the corridor with Ethan walking fearlessly with a peaceful expression on his face. Twilight for her part stayed right behind him keeping her plasma rifle held aloft in a small field of purple magic. From up ahead she heard the harsh voices of raiders.

“God dammit I’m hungry, we haven’t had any fresh meat in weeks!” One whined from behind a doorway.

“Eat those potato chips and shut the hell up!” Another replied.

“But I want meat!” The first protested.

“I don’t give a damn!” The other shouted.

The conversation stopped and Twilight heard disheartened munching coming from behind the door in front of them. After a few seconds it began again.

“Hey you ever wonder why we’re here?” The one who had first talked asked the other.

As if on cue Ethan kicked the door open and unloaded a quick blast into the raider eating chips. The raider’s head exploded in a wild fountain of blood and brain matter. Before he could turn to kill the next Twilight shot a blast of plasma at the man’s right kneecap. He fell to the floor with a howl of pain and Ethan finished him with a quick shot to the stomach. Much to Twilight’s disgust her face got caught in a stream of the blood that issued forth from the gaping hole in the man’s stomach. She scrubbed at it furiously and Ethan handed her a random napkin to help.

“Sorry, you may want to stand back a little farther when I do that.” Ethan told her with a small smile.

“Thanks for the warning.” Twilight replied dryly.

“Anything to help a friend, now let’s see if we can’t find any others.” Ethan told her. They left the small room and reentered the hallway. Apparently Ethan’s shotgun blasts had alerted the other raiders to their presence because Twilight could hear raiders calling taunts.

“Come out you pussy!”

“They’re a real eloquent bunch aren’t they?” Ethan asked her with a chuckle. “Well they’re looking for us now, stay sharp Sparky.” Twilight nodded and leveled her rifle.

They set off along the hallway again and Twilight had to stifle the urge to gasp at the number of small skeletons they were walking by. When she accidentally touched one of the skeletons Twilight flinched, this had been the body of a child who had come to learn. Now it was nothing more than a nameless skeleton inside a forgotten school, one among hundreds. Ethan softly placed his hand on her shoulder and waited patiently while she regained her breath.

“Ethan this is…” Twilight began but couldn’t finish.

“I know Sparky.” Ethan told her sadly while he shook his head. “Come on we have dogs to put down.” He added before gently pulling her away from the small skeleton.

As they continued down the hallway a raider appeared out of a classroom and opened up on them with an assault rifle. Without missing a beat Ethan holstered his combat shotgun and drew a scoped magnum before shooting the raider in the head causing another showery explosion of gore.

Twilight flinched again but said nothing as they continued down the hallway. Suddenly another raider stepped out of the room that they’d just and leveled his gun on Ethan’s head, Twilight heard the crunch of the raider’s boots on the crumbling tile and turned to see the raider about to pull the trigger. She reacted without thinking and sent a glowing green ball of plasma rushing towards the raider’s kneecap. The raider howled in pain as the bolt hit him and he fell over on the ground writhing in pain. Ethan turned and with a serene look on his face placed a magnum round between the raider’s eyes. One exploded head later they continued down the hallway.

“I’m telling you man the Lone Wanderer is here and he’s going to kill us.” She heard a raider say through a door.

“And I’m telling you that he’s not that tough, hell I could take him blindfolded.” Another said.

“Both of ya shut your mouths; you’re bringing us bad luck!” Another told them angrily.

“I wouldn’t say that exactly, mostly because I think you’d all probably be better off dead.” Ethan told them with a shrug from where he was leaning in the now open doorway.

“You!” One of the raiders shouted pulling out a small pistol.

“Me.” Ethan agreed with a nod as he placed a shotgun shell in the man’s chest sending the man flying backwards into the table where he’d been sitting.

Twilight’s shot missed her target and impacted against the back wall with small hiss. The raider that Twilight had been aiming at shot her in the shoulder with a 10 millimeter pistol. But the tiny round dinged painlessly off of her armor, Twilight’s next shot struck true and dropped the raider to the ground. Meanwhile Ethan had already made short work of the last raider cleanly blasting the woman’s chest apart. Twilight looked at the three dead bodies and fought down the terrible urge to puke up her omelet.

“Good work Sparks that’s all of them on this floor, now we head back to the entrance and comb through the rooms for supplies.” Ethan told her before walking back towards the entrance.

“How do you know we got them all?” Twilight asked.

“My pipboy has a HUD, or a Heads Up Display. It tells me if there are any hostiles present and right now it says that we’re clear.” Ethan explained showing Twilight the boxy thing on his wrist.

“So you knew about the raider that was going to come out of that door didn’t you?” Twilight asked suspiciously as they walked past the corpse.

“Yeah but I figured you’d catch him, great reaction time by the way.” Ethan told her with a grin.

“What if they’d hurt you, or me?” Twilight asked.

“Then I’d heal you with a stimpack.” Ethan told her with a shrug. “I mean sure they aren’t a miracle cure for everything, but they treat small bullet wounds very nicely.” He added.

“Then why did you have to cut the last one out of me?” Twilight asked.

“Because you weren’t wearing any armor and I was worried about the blood that you’d lost before I appeared.” Ethan replied. Twilight nodded and they walked back to the first room.

“So what now?” Twilight asked.

“Now we loot.” Ethan replied with a grin. “Open up any boxes that you see and bring anything that you find to me, I’ll teach you what’s important and valuable.” He told her with a smile.

Twilight left his side and went over to a stack of metal boxes. She pulled the top off of one and found that it was empty. Another top went off and Twilight found a small crate of objects, with a shrug she picked it out of the box and set it on the floor beside her. Among the other few boxes she found a leather belt, a fission battery, a conductor, a small pistol, and a few bottlecaps. She pocketed the caps immediately (she still didn’t understand what possessed people to use them as money but she wasn’t going to argue). She brought the rest of her loot over to Ethan for inspection.

“Alright let’s see what you’ve got.” Ethan told her with a grin as he kneeled down next to her. “Hmm a fission battery, these are valuable and usually go for anything from twenty five to seventyish if you’re smooth enough.” He told her tossing her the small boxy object. “A conductor, these are worth a little less than the battery but are still good enough to be worth taking.” He said tossing her the conductor.

“Hmm a crate of cigarettes (I still don’t know why people in the Wasteland smoke when there are so many other dangers out there) but that doesn’t stop them from being valuable.” He said with a roll of his eyes before he passed Twilight the box. He threw the belt away without even explaining anything to her so Twilight assumed that it was worthless.

Ethan’s gaze fell upon the small pistol that she’d found and he chuckled before he tossed it away. “Don’t bother with .32s, trust me they’re completely worthless, although .32 ammo is useful for hunting rifles so always grab some of that.” Ethan said with a smile. “Alright Sparky onto the most profitable part of looting, looting the dead.” Ethan told her gesturing at the two dead raiders who Twilight had been ignoring.

“Isn’t that disrespectful?” Twilight asked.

“I don’t think they had any self respect to begin with so I doubt that they’ll mind.” Ethan replied with a shrug. He walked over to the first raider and gestured for Twilight to look through his stuff.

“Do I have to touch him?” Twilight asked looking at the corpse unsteadily.

“You could hold him upside down and shake him like a bag if you wanted.” Ethan replied, and then facepalmed when Twilight did just that using her magic. “I was kidding Sparky, sorry but you’re going to have to touch the dead out here. If it makes you feel better he probably would’ve raped you to death, eaten your flesh, and then sewn your skins into his clothing. And if you were very, very lucky, he’d have done it in that order.” He added; Twilight turned to stare at him. “Did you see those bodies outside; who did you think did that?”

“I, I’m sorry.” Twilight said softly.

“Hey hey, don’t worry about it; you have my word that nothing like that will ever happen to you.” Ethan told her seriously while he gave her a small hug. “Now let’s get back to looting the corpses.” He said motioning towards the corpses. Twilight nodded slowly and looked back at the corpses. “Alright looting people is actually easier then you’d think; all you have to do is search their pockets and other belongings for ammo, caps, and the occasional sidearm.” Ethan explained as he began to pull out the pockets on the first raider’s ratty armor. He produced two small boxes of ammo and a 10 millimeter pistol which he tossed to Twilight.

“Okay, I can do that, I thought you wanted me to touch their bodies.” Twilight told Ethan.

“I didn’t know you were into that.” Ethan said with a laugh, Twilight threw an empty soda bottle at him.

***

“Ah can’t believe that we didn’t find hide nor hair of Twilight.” Applejack said with a frown as the five friends (plus Spike) sat around the suite that they’d been given.

“Don’t worry AJ we’ll find her!” Dash said with a grin.

“Yeah silly it’s not like she’s in Hoofington.” Pinkie said with a shrug, the rest of her friends looked at her in confusion. “Oh right, ignore me.” Pinkie said with a grin.

“Pinkie darling you are so random.” Rarity said with a sigh.

“So let’s go over the situation again, Twilight’s disappeared, we can’t find any evidence of where she’s gone, and we have no way of knowing whether she’s alive or not.” Spike said drawing the attention of everyone in the room.

“What’re ya gettin at Spike?” Applejack asked.

“Nothing; sorry after living with Twilight for so long I’ve gotten used to ordering everything.” Spike told them with an unhappy shrug. “I just can’t believe that she’s gone…” He said trailing off.

“It’ll be okay Spike; Twilight’s the most resourceful pony I know.” Fluttershy told him wrapping her arm around the baby dragon who sighed.

“I guess you’re right, but I still worry, ya know?” He asked.

“Of course we do Spikey, we all miss Twilight very much.” Rarity said with a small sigh. “I only wish that there was something we could do to help the poor dear.” She added with a shrug.

“We can’t give up yet, come on let’s go back to the Princess’s room and see if we can find anything that we missed earlier!” Dash told her friends who nodded in agreement.

“We’re coming for ya Twi!” Applejack whispered as they left the room.

***

After her first bout of squeamishness Twilight found that going through the pockets of raiders wasn’t so bad, well as long as their bodies were still in one piece (she refused to touch the ones who had been completely obliterated by shotgun rounds). In the end Twilight collected four 10 millimeter pistols (Ethan promised to teach her how to take them apart for the best parts) around 75 spare caps, and an assault rifle along with an intermittent amount of ammo for the guns.

“There are more raiders in this building right?” Twilight asked Ethan as they walked down the hallway.

“Yeah, why?” He asked.

“Well shouldn’t they have come running a while ago when we were killing their friends?” Twilight asked him.

“To be honest I have no idea why they don’t, for some reason I’m never attacked by people from different floors.” Ethan replied with a shrug.

“That is very odd…” Twilight said trailing off.

“Sparky don’t question these things, it’s for the best regardless.” Ethan told her with another shrug. “Now we hit the basement.”

The two of them made their way into the basement and quietly snuck along the darkened corridor. There were more skeletons down here and Twilight tried not to think about them but they just kept grinning at her out of the corners of her eyes. Twilight started to hyperventilate and she began to see more and more skulls grinning crookedly at her, all of them seemed to be asking her why they’d had to die. Then the corpses of the raiders she’d looted came crawling out of the shadows their eyes lifeless and black as they looked at her imploringly.

Her eyes widened and sweat began coat her body underneath her armor which suddenly felt unbelievably constricting. Suddenly movement to her left spooked her and she screamed loudly and began to fire her plasma rifle at the shape in the darkness who began to walk closer and closer. Suddenly her rifle ran out of ammo and she started to scream louder while beating the shadowed shape with the butt of the rifle. Suddenly the shadow grabbed the rifle from her magic grip and tossed it away before staling closer. Twilight resorted to shooting bolts of pure force at the shape but it shrugged them off as it continued its horde bipedal advance.

“Get away from me you monster!” Twilight shouted, a palm shot towards her face and Twilight fell to the ground where she lay and began to cry while she muttered. “I want to go home, I want to go home, I want to go home, I want to go home…” She was so caught up in her breakdown that she didn’t hear Ethan hiss at the pain of the plasma burns as he injected himself with several stimpacks. Ethan was extremely relieved that he hadn’t melted; he also took a few seconds to mine the hallway so that no one would be sneaking up on them before he headed back to Twilight.

A few minutes passed while Twilight lay there begging to go home (a raider found himself missing a leg during that time as well) before she looked up and found Ethan sitting on the floor next to her with a sad expression on his face.

“I shot you didn’t I?” She asked in a small voice.

“Sparky, you’re a young woman a long way from home in a hostile environment. That’s the right response to have.” Ethan told her gently as he began to stroke her mane with his hand.

“But I could’ve killed you.” Twilight said in a remarkably accurate imitation of Fluttershy.

“Na, remember what I said about me being hard to kill?” He asked her with a chuckle (he wasn’t going to tell her about the random chance of turning people into goo at the moment).

“But I, I just went a little insane…” Twilight said.

“Sparky it’s the wasteland; we’re all insane in our own ways out here.” Ethan told her as he stroked her mane.

“I didn’t hurt you to bad did I?” Twilight asked him with big scarred eyes.

“No, I’m fine. Trust me I’ve suffered a lot of plasma burns in my time. I’ll tell you what, I don’t think that you’re up to finishing this building so why don’t we go back to Megaton for a while?” He asked her with a smile.

“That sounds nice.” Twilight told him quietly, an explosion sounded from farther down the hall but Twilight didn’t hear it and Ethan ignored it… although he did make a mental note about making sure that he ran through latter once Twilight had gone to sleep, he wasn’t the kind to let a mine go to waste.

***

Celestia looked on in slight resignation at Twilight’s friends began to once again ransack her room looking for any clue that could possibly tell them more about Twilight’s disappearance.

“I think I’m going to leave you six to it, send a guard if you find anything.” Celestia informed them before teleporting out to the royal gardens.

She sighed happily as she looked around the peaceful greenery of the gardens, she’d always come here to relax in times of stress and now was no different. She walked through the gardens until she found one of the more seclude spots. It was a small clearing with a magically created waterfall and a small pool. The trees surrounding the clearing cast leafy shadows but unlike the trees of Everfree these only increased the sense of calm about the place. Little birds chirped happily as they flew in and out of the leaves, and on top of the waterfall Celestia felt the respectful eyes of a falcon regarding her.

“Don’t fear me friend, I’m simply here to relax my mind.” Celestia told the falcon.

“Are you now, what’s gotten my Tia in a tizzy?” A voice off to her right asked.

“Buzz off Discord; I’m not in the mood.” Celestia said with a huff as the spirit of disharmony and chaos appeared sprawling beside her on the grass. He wasn’t really there of course but it’s hard to keep a god of his strength fully imprisoned and his spirit was free to wander. Most didn’t notice him but neither Princess was that fortunate.

“My, my; someone really is in a tizzy today.” Discord said with a slight chuckle. “What’s the matter my dear Tia, I do hate to see you in distress?” Discord asked her. (The unspoken words “unless I cause it” echoed in both of their minds)

“I’m not going to tell you, you’d only laugh.” The alicorn of the sun told Discord who chuckled causing Celestia to glare at him.

“I apologize Tia; it’s just that you know me so well at this point.” Discord said with another chuckle.

“Yes I suppose I do.” Celestia replied before looking at the waterfall.

“Then you should know that I am a god of neutrality my dear.” He told her with a slight grin.

“Yes but you’re hardly lawful.” Celestia told him with a small smirk.

“Well I do tend to fall into the chaotic side of the neutrality spectrum, I’ll give you that.” Discord consented with a shrug.

“Yes, and you’re also a fan of mind rape.” She said glaring at him.

“Not mind rape Tia, mind adjustment. If it were rape then you’re student and her friends would’ve been vegetables by the time I was done. In fact if they’d just solved the riddle in the first place I wouldn’t have been able to separate them and I’d have been turned back into stone much faster.” Discord told her with a shrug (he looked offended at the implications of rape) and his face became slightly contorted by sorrow. “Tia we both know that I’m no demon, and I certainly wouldn’t debase myself in that way.”

“Stow the noble act Discord, we both know that you couldn’t care less about what happens to those whom you entertain yourself with.” Celestia snapped.

“If this is about Luna I’d just like to say that I had no intentions of pushing her that far.” Discord said defending himself.

“You forced me to trap her on the moon; can you possibly imagine what that was like for me? I had to send my only family to the moon for a thousand years!” Celestia shouted at him.

“Tia my family is dead.” Discord told her simply.

“Yes and the world is a much better place for it.” Celestia replied harshly.

“That is true and I cannot fault you for it, they were terrible… I was simply stating the fact that I do in fact know what it’s like to lose a family member, at least you got yours back.” He told her narrowing his eyes slightly.

“And now I’ve lost one of them again.” Celestia said with a sad sigh before her hoof flew to her mouth.

“Why would you complain about losing that royal brat, I swear Tia you let that blonde little shit be brought up terribly.” Discord said scoffing.

“Prince Blueblood is fine, as is Cadence.” Celestia told him.

“Then who could possibly have you in such tizzy?” Discord asked in annoyance.

“Who do you think?” She asked him darkly.

“Sparky’s gone missing?” Discord asked in shocked surprise, Celestia raised an eyebrow (she hadn’t expected him to really care).

“Yes, Twilight Sparkle has gone missing.” Celestia told him emphasizing her full name.

“Drat, I liked her. She’s strong hearted and extremely talented, also she showed admirable courage when we fought.” Discord said.

“You liked her?” Celestia asked taken completely off guard.

“Of course Tia, I like you, I like Lulu, and I like any who can pose an interesting challenge. I like the yellow pink maned one too for that matter, but that’s not the point here.” Discord said with a grimace.

“You actually care, I’m surprised.” Celestia told him and Discord blushed a little.

“I care very much about those who can put up a fight, without them immortal life get’s impossibly boring.” Discord said with a sigh.

“I know the feeling.” Celestia replied and they shared a quiet chuckle together.

“So what happened?” Discord asked after a few moments of silence.

“We were testing a new teleporting spell, she vanished in a flash of green fiery light and there hasn’t been a trace of her since.” Celestia told him with a sigh.

“Tia I can only think of one pony who uses magic like that.” Discord told her. “And if I have to spell it out to you I’ll lose respect for you…” He added trailing off. Celestia thought about it, and smacked herself in the face with a hoof.

“Why the hell didn’t I think of that?” She groaned.

“Because you didn’t have anyone to point out the obvious, now run along Tia and make sure to tell me how it goes.” Discord told her before he disappeared. Celestia immediately teleported to Luna’s room and roused her sister, they needed to have words with somepony…

***

Twilight looked much better then she had in the basement. Her eyes were no longer clouded with fear and she’d regained control of her emotions enough to smile and make small talk with Ethan as they made their way back out of the building. Just as she walked out the door a rough arm encircled her neck and Twilight suddenly found herself being held by someone wearing black combat armor while a boxy object was pressed to the side of her head.

“Put her down .” Ethan told the man holding her calmly, but there was a very noticeable edge of solid steel underneath the calm.

“We’re here for the unicorn, piss off.” The man holding Twilight said roughly.

“Do you know who I am?” Ethan asked just as calmly as before.

“You’re the pussy this little bitch is traveling with.” The man told Ethan arrogantly.

“I’m the Lone Wanderer you idiot!” Ethan told him in exasperation.

“Yeah and I don’t give a shit, this little bitch is very important to someone and we’re taking her back to the fort.” Her captor said.

“No, you’re putting her down and then I’ll let you walk away with your lives.” Ethan replied simply. This drew laughter from the man and several who Twilight couldn’t see.

“That’s not happening; we’re being paid seventy five thousand caps each to bag this bitch.” The man holding her said.

“Where would you possibly spend that kind of money?” Ethan asked.

“Vegas idiot!” The man told Ethan as if it should’ve been obvious.

“My wife runs that city.” Ethan replied calmly. “And trust me she’d have you shot at the border.” He added.

“Oh I’m so scared of the cunt in the leather duster and her army of windup toys.” The man said and several of his men laughed. Suddenly Twilight realized that she was being an idiot. She winked at Ethan whose face was somewhere between livid and absolutely terrifying, and then teleported herself next to him in a bright flash of light.

“Ethan I think I wouldn’t mind killing these men.” Twilight said calmly as she raised her plasma rifle.

“Okay, but the one in the middle is mine.” Ethan told her with a grin before he drew his magnum and shot the lead mercenary in the kneecaps. Twilight fired off four rapid shots of her plasma rifle aiming at the centers of mass of the other two mercenaries. To her significant surprise they both melted into green goo.

“What in Celestia’s scorching solar mare heat was that?!” She shouted (Celestia randomly looked up from where she was putting on her golden armor and frowned)

“Oh right I forgot to tell you Twilight, occasionally plasma rifle shots liquefy people, I’ll talk about after I’m done with the shit who called my wife a cunt.” Ethan told her offhandedly before turning back to the mercenary sprawled before him.

With a quick flash he injected a stimpack into the mercenary who looked at him in surprise. Then with a wicked grin Ethan pulled out a 10 millimeter pistol. First he punched the merc in the face to stun him and then he methodically unloaded the pistol up and down the length of the mercenary’s legs. He repeated the process several times before he began kicking the man in the stomach.

Twilight watched in horrified fascination as her normally calm and easygoing protector unleashed his anger on the prostrate man. When he was done kicking the man Ethan pulled the man up by his hair and forcibly stabbed a stimpack into the man’s neck before shoving him back to the ground where he kicked the man in the balls several times. Then as the man groaned Ethan pulled him back into the air by the front of his armor and held the man in the air in front of him. With a smile Ethan slammed the man into the ground face first. Twilight winced as she heard teeth break. Then Ethan injected yet another stimpack into the man’s neck and held him up again.

“Listen to me and listen very carefully because I’m only saying this once and if you don’t do exactly what I tell you to then I’ll hunt you down and make this feel like a walk through the park.” Ethan told the man, who nodded rapidly (if somewhat unsteadily)

“Whatever you say mister I swear it to you!” The man shouted.

“Good, that’s what I like to hear. Tell your boss that he is to drop the contract against the unicorn, and if he doesn’t I will come to his base and crucify him on a railway spike!” Ethan told the man, his voice had returned to its normal calm but Twilight could tell how serious he was. “After you deliver that message you will join the members of the church at Rivet City and if I ever catch you out of uniform I will personally feed you to radroaches…alive .” Ethan told the man before tossing him to the ground. “Now get out of my sight before you make me really mad.” Ethan said with a glare. The mercenary scrambled to his feet and ran off heading exactly where Ethan wanted him to.

“Ethan?” Twilight asked.

“Sorry Twilight, it had to be done.” Ethan told her with a sigh. “God dammit, I came to close to killing him!” Ethan added and a small sob escaped his lips.

“It’s okay Ethan, I’m fine and he’s alive.” Twilight said comfortingly.

“It isn’t that Sparky, I let my rage get the better of me...again…” Ethan replied darkly.

“Let’s go back to Megaton.” Twilight told him quietly.

“Yeah, let’s.” They vanished in a flash of light.

***

“She is here sir.” A man in plain combat armor reported with a salute.

“Perfect.” The man behind the desk replied, his nose had been broken and set badly which caused his voice to come out in a cruel mockery of what it used to.

“Orders sir?” The man in combat armor asked.

“Let the fools wanderer for a while longer, the plan isn’t quite ready for them yet.” The man said adjusting his glasses.

“As you wish sir, true to Ceasar.”

Day 1 part 3, end of day 1

Day 1 Part 3

“Why the fuck would I kidnap that little unicorn?” Chrysalis asked in annoyance as Celestia and Luna glared at her.

“Because she sabotaged your plan to take over Equestria!” Celestia replied angrily.

“Yes she did, however I would hardly kidnap her, if I wanted her gone you’d find her decapitated corpse in the middle of the castle courtyard.” Chrysalis said while her wings vibrated in annoyance. “Furthermore I couldn’t hope to stand up to either of you at the moment so what could I possibly have to gain from kidnapping the purple brat?” Chrysalis asked narrowing her eyes.

“You’re evil, that’s a good enough reason isn’t it?” Celestia answered with a glare.

“Celestia, Celestia, Celestia, evil does not mean stupid, and I am far from suicidal.” Chrysalis replied with a shrug.

“Celly I think she’s telling the truth.” Luna said with a sigh.

“I am, now would you please leave I’m on a tight schedule?” Chrysalis asked.

“What do you mean?” Celestia asked.

“Well it’s mating season and my eggs aren’t going to fertilize themselves.” Chrysalis replied archly. Celestia blanched while Luna merely looked more interested.

“But what do you mean by a tight schedule?” Luna asked intrigued.

“We’re bugs; that means that the average male lives a day, and only one is born every year.” Chrysalis replied with a shrug.

“So we’re cockblocking you?” Luna asked.

“That’s a simple way to put it; however it is very accurate.” Chrysalis answered with a slight glare.

“Well then we should be going.” Luna said hastily.

“But Luna she might know something!” Celestia protested.

“She doesn’t know anything Tia, let’s just go back to Canterlot and go through the archives again.” Luna said before she vanished.

“This isn’t over.” Celestia said glaring at Chrysalis.

“Bite me.” The changeling queen replied with a shrug. Celestia snorted in annoyance before she too teleported away.

***

Twilight and Ethan reappeared inside his house in a flash of bright light.

“Oh wonderful they’re back…” Wadsworth muttered to himself before hovering over to where Ethan and Twilight were sprawled on the floor. “Master do you require any assistance?” The robot asked.

“Get me a scotch please Wadsworth, do you want anything Sparky?” He asked the unicorn.

“Alcohol isn’t something that mixes well with ponies who suffered psychological breakdowns; I’ll have a soda radiation be damned.” Twilight answered.

“One bottle of scotch and a Nuka Cola on the way.” Wadsworth told them before floating upstairs towards the soda machine. He returned moments later with both drinks which he passed to the proper recipient. “Do try and not need me.” He told Ethan before floating away.

“You keep your alcohol in the soda machine?” Twilight asked with a raised eyebrow as she climbed into one of the chairs.

“Hey it keeps it colder then the fridge, plus it’s classier.” Ethan replied with a shrug from his chair as he opened his bottle and took a sip.

“So want to tell me what happened back there?” Twilight asked, Ethan’s mood darkened immediately.

“Not particularly, but I guess you deserve to know.” Ethan said with a grimace.

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to.” Twilight told him gently.

“No, you need to know.” Ethan said with a long sigh. “I’m normally a pretty chill guy, I crack jokes, I laugh a lot, and to be honest I don’t take life all that seriously anymore. But when someone threatens someone I care about I get mad, it’s like someone in my mind presses a button and I become overwhelmed with rage and anger. It’s the reason why Amata kicked me out of the Vault…” Ethan told her sadly trailing off.

“Who?” Twilight asked in confusion (she knew what a Vault was thanks to reading the survival guide) but she didn’t know who Amata was.

“Amata, the first girl I ever loved.” Ethan said taking another sip of his scotch.

“What happened?” Twilight asked.

“Well I’d been living in the Vault 101 for almost all my life; in fact I didn’t even know that I wasn’t born there until I left. Anyways one day my dad decided to leave and the Overseer (Amata’s father) decided that I was a threat to the Vault. Amata woke me up and told me that the Vault security officers were coming for me. I killed ten people I’d known all my life with a baseball bat.” Ethan told her.

“I’m so sorry.” Twilight told him.

“Wait it gets better.” Ethan told her bitterly. “Eventually I made my way to the Overseer’s office but I didn’t have the key so I couldn’t get out. So I went to the Overseer’s room and I found him beating Amata for information about me. I broke his legs with my bat, and then I snapped his neck with my boot.” Ethan said with a tiny sob before he took another sip of scotch.

“That must have been awful for you, to be forced to kill people you’d known all your life…” Twilight said quietly.

“Yeah, then Amata refused to look at me, I tried to get her to leave with me but she told me that I was a monster.” Ethan said with another tiny sob. Twilight got up from her seat and walked over to Ethan and wrapped him in a hug.

“You aren’t a monster Ethan.” She told him quietly.

“Thanks Sparky, but I’m not done.” Ethan said returning the embrace with a sigh. “Later just when things were looking up (I’d just found my father and we were going to bring fresh water back to the Wasteland) I got an urgent radio message from Amata. She said that Allen Mack had usurped her authority and crowned himself Overseer, she asked me to come back and help her. Imagine my surprise and joy when my childhood love called me home to help her…” Ethan said trailing off and taking another sip of his scotch.

“You must have felt like it was a dream come true.” Twilight said.

“Yeah, at first it kind of was. I walked back into the Vault in a full set of combat armor wielding a combat shotgun and my railway rifle. None of the guards dared to try and stop me and it was smooth sailing. I talked to Amata and she told me that I should talk to Mack. So I did and the bastard wouldn’t give an inch of ground no matter how I tried to convince him that it was Amata’s rightful place. Then he started threatening to rape Amata. I shot him in the chest with a railway spike and pinned him to back wall of the office. After that Amata thanked me for my help, and then told me that she never wanted to see me again because I was an amoral monster.” Ethan said; his knuckles were turning white as he tightened his grip on the bottle of scotch.

“But Ethan you aren’t a monster, you saved my life without a second’s hesitation and you’ve saved the Wasteland!” Twilight protested.

“I know I’m not, but that doesn’t stop me from not doing terrible things when my friends are in danger.” Ethan told her with another sigh, his grip on the bottle loosened and he put it down on the coffee table. Twilight for her part gave the man another hug.

“You were defending someone you loved; love makes people do crazy things.” She told him thoughtfully. “Trust me I know.” She added with a sigh.

“And what crazy thing did you do?” Ethan asked her a little bit of humor returning to his voice.

“I… I decided not to be with her.” Twilight said with a sigh.

“Hmm?” Ethan asked.

“We just couldn’t be together; I’d die too soon and leave her broken hearted for the rest of her life.” Twilight said with a sad sigh.

“Who Sparky?” Ethan asked.

“My Teacher, My Princess, My Best Friend, the only mare that I'll ever probably love.” Twilight told him with another sigh. “Whenever she brought it up I’d change the subject or pretend that I didn’t understand what she was talking about. In the end I guess she decided that I didn’t love her back because she stopped trying…” Twilight said before letting out a tiny sob.

“How long will she live?” Ethan asked.

“Forever.” Twilight replied flatly. “Even with magical advances I’d only last two or three hundred years and then she’d be alone for eternity, just like Luna and Starswirl.” She said with another sigh.

“Sparky I hate to tell you this, but that’s stupid.” Ethan told her frankly.

“What?” Twilight asked.

“That’s a stupid way of looking at things. If she was willing to have you then you shouldn’t have worried about the consequences. She obviously knew that she was going to outlive you and had resigned herself to that fact. Trust me Sparky you should take every opportunity at love that you can get.” Ethan told her with a small sigh. “Life’s too short not to.” He added.

“If I ever get back I think I’ll ask her about whether she’s still interested, assuming I get back at all…” Twilight said trailing off.

“We’ll figure something out Sparky, tomorrow I’m going to make a call and see if a friend of mine can pick us up. From there we should be able to find some way to get you home.” Ethan told her a smile returning to his face.

“Who’re you going to call?” Twilight asked.

“A friend, I’ll leave it at that till she gets here.” Ethan told her with a smile.

“I hate to bring it up again, but how often do you lose control?” Twilight asked him.

“I’ve lost it three other times, I broke a man named Mister Burke’s nose before someone pulled me off the slimy peace of shit. I decapitated Colonel Autumn with a flaming lawnmower blade. And as for the last one, well I’m actually kind of proud of that one.” Ethan told her with a chuckle.

"What happened?" Twilight asked.

“You see there’s this android named Harkness, he came to the Capital Wasteland to get away from his masters who were essentially using him as a slave. Well I took the contract to hunt him down and eventually I found that he was the chief of security for Rivet City. He’s kind of a dick, but he genuinely cares about the people he’s there to protect. To make a long story short I tricked the man who had given me the contract into giving me the cybernetic enhancement that was the reward, and then I got Harkness to play along like he’d been captured. Then as they were leaving the two of us turned on the man and killed him.” Ethan said with a wolfish grin.

“That doesn’t sound like the others.” Twilight said with a frown.

“Yeah, that’s because I didn’t tell you how we killed him.” Ethan said his grin disappearing.

“I see…” Twilight said trailing off and taking another sip of her soda.

“Are the organics done exchanging their feelings?” Wadsworth asked as he hovered back into the room.

“Yeah I’d say that we’re done, Wadsworth can you get me a sobering pill?” Ethan asked the robot, a little tray with a single white pill slid out of Wadsworth’s chest and Ethan popped it in his mouth. “Much better, thanks Wadsworth.”

“I aim to please master.” Wadsworth replied dryly.

“Come on Sparky let’s grab some dinner and then you can go to sleep, you’ve had a rough day.” Ethan told Twilight before he ruffled her mane before standing up.

“What about you?” Twilight asked.

“Like I said I have a call to make, and then I’m going to head back to the school and finish up.” Ethan told her with a shrug.

“Finish up?” Twilight asked.

“Kill the rest of the raiders and then loot the place clean.” Ethan clarified with a grin.

***

Celestia sat despondently in her bed looking at the book in front of her, then with an errant thought she burned it to a crisp and sent the ash flying into the trashcan. She didn’t need one shade of gray, let alone fifty. Luna was sitting on the balcony outside looking at the stars trying to find Twilight’s signal among them, but so far she wasn’t having any luck. Celestia sighed again and looked at the stars wondering what misfortune had befallen her student.

“Celly stop it, you’re driving me crazy with your constant sighing. You’re acting like someone who lost their lover.” Luna said coming in from the balcony. Celestia flinched at the last word and Luna raised her eyebrows in surprise. “I hadn’t realized that you two were so close.” Luna murmured more to herself then to her sister.

“We aren’t, or at least not yet.” Celestia admitted with a heavy sigh.

“What happened Celly?” Luna asked taking a seat on the bed next to Celestia.

“She ignored my advances Lulu, and not very tactfully either.” Celestia said with a quiet sigh.

“Perhaps she doesn’t think herself worthy of you.” Luna put in.

“She’s Twilight Sparkle the unicorn who saved Equestria at least three times, if she’s not worthy of me then I might as well live up to the publics’ view of me as a virginal goddess.” Celestia replied darkly.

“They think that of you?” Luna asked shocked.

“Yes, for some reason they’ve associated me with virgins.” Celestia said dryly.

“At least that’s something nopony will ever accuse me of being.” Luna said with a smirk.

“Yes, being known as the night goddess does have that effect.” Celestia agreed sharing the smirk.

“So back to Twilight, maybe she didn’t understand what you were trying to tell her or what if she is worried about the age difference?” Luna asked, Celestia looked thoughtful as she pondered that.

“Now that I think about it some books about our past love lives went missing for a little while and then mysteriously showed up again a few days later…” Celestia said trailing off.

“Oh Faust; she probably found that idiot historian’s work about my love life with Starswirl!” Luna exclaimed in exasperation. “Princess Luna never again sought the comfort of a lover, instead she let her grief slowly eat away at her until she transformed into Nightmare Moon I still can’t believe that you let that get published Tia.” Luna said giving her sister an annoyed look.

“Lulu we’ve been over this, I can’t censor the media.” Celestia said rolling her eyes.

“It’s slander!” Luna said agitatedly.

“That only exists in one book because I had the others collected and burned after the pony had died.” Celestia said and Luna quieted.

“Well regardless, Twilight is probably afraid that if she gives into her feelings for you she’ll send you into a downward spiral of depression that will eventually turn you into a ravaging monster.” Luna said changing the subject.

“That would explain her attitude…” Celestia said trailing off.

“Well I’m glad I could help sister, I’ll alert you if anything changes.” Luna said before disappearing in a cloud of black mist.

Celestia looked back at the sky and slowly began to hum a soft tune to herself as she began to fall asleep.

***

“You are spending time with strange company these days my friend.” The supermutant told Ethan as the two of them sat on the scenic overlook, although scenic wasn’t really the best word for it.

“Tell me about it Leo, she’s a mess but I like her.” Ethan replied with a slight smile.

“Shoving her head first into the wasteland was not your best idea.” Leo said conversationally.

“I realize that now Leo, on the bright side things should start to get better starting tomorrow.

“There is something that I need to tell you Ethan, the supermutants have a new leader. They are gathering their forces for a frontal assault, I do not know when it will happen, but be warned they are on the move.” Leo told him before standing up. “I should go; I’ll be seeing you Ethan.” With that the friendly supermutant got to his feet and walked away quietly. Ethan shot a look at the doorway to his old home and sighed before he walked back towards Megaton. Tomorrow would be better, he just knew it.

Day 2 Part 1

Day 2 part 1

Twilight awoke to the smell of a deathclaw egg omelet hitting the frying pan and let out a satisfied sigh as the smell assaulted her nostrils with its rich scent. She got out of her bed and slowly stretched her back and each of her legs taking the time to make sure that she’d worked out all the kinks. Then she put on her armor carefully attaching all of the different straps and buckles the way that Ethan had taught her the night before. Twilight strapped on her plasma rifle and quickly checked it to see if anything was broken. With that done her new mental checklist was complete and she decided to take a few minutes to scan the room for anything interesting.

Much to her surprise she found something that attracted her attention immediately. Sitting on the desk behind her bed was a small clear jar with the words Ethan Smith written on a label tapped to the side. She peered into it and to her fascinated revulsion found that it was a large piece of gray matter.

“Sparky the omelet’s done.” Ethan called up to her and Twilight slowly forced her gaze away from the hunk of brain. She quickly made her way downstairs and found Ethan once again wearing his apron and chef’s hat, oblivious to just how ridiculous he looked (or maybe he did know and was just enjoying himself).

“Good morning Madame Twilight, I hope that you are recovered from your brief bout of insanity.” Wadsworth said as he floated past Twilight heading towards the stairs.

“Thank you Wadsworth, I’m feeling much better now.” Twilight replied giving the robot a smile.

“That’s very good to hear, I must be going now.” Wadsworth said, Twilight thought that she heard a smile in his voice but it was hard to tell.

“You’re certainly looking chipper this morning Sparky.” Ethan told her with a grin as he set a steaming half of omelet down in front of the purple unicorn.

“Thanks Ethan, what’s the plan for the day?” Twilight asked before taking a bite of the omelet and letting the amazing taste wash over her senses.

“First we’re heading to Moria’s to pick up a surprise that I have planned for you, and then my friend is picking us up in her ride.” Ethan told her with a smile as he took his own bite of omelet.

“I’m guessing you won’t tell me what my surprise is.” Twilight said.

“Otherwise it wouldn’t be a surprise would it?” Ethan replied with a grin.

“Alright then; so who’s your friend?” Twilight asked.

“A woman by the name of Sarah, I think you’ll like her.” Ethan replied with an enigmatic smile.

“What makes you say that?” Twilight asked but Ethan just chuckled and took another bite. They finished their breakfast in relative silence and then set off for Moria’s, on their way Twilight noticed how few people cared about the fact that a talking purple unicorn was walking by.

“Ethan why doesn’t anyone care that I’m a unicorn?” Twilight asked.

“Trust me Sparky you’re far from the weirdest person I’ve brought to town.” Ethan answered with a grin.

“Alright, by the way why is there a piece of your brain in a jar in your room?” Twilight asked as they made their way up the slope to Moria’s store.

“Oh that, well you see that’s how I learned the very important lesson that I shouldn’t trust tribals.” Ethan replied with a shrug.

“What?” Twilight asked in confusion.

“They drugged me and then cut my head open, I’m just lucky that they didn’t get anything important when they did it.” Ethan clarified with a shrug.

“So you’re completely fine with them cutting you open?” Twilight asked.

“Oh no I killed them all once I found out about it.” Ethan replied nonchalantly. “They were trying to kill someone I was protecting anyways and they weren’t what you’d call right in the head in the first place.” He added to mollify the frown that he saw beginning to spread across her face. “I mean they believed that cutting a hole in your head helped you tap into the magical energies of the universe.”

“That’s completely false, if you were going to be doing that then you would need a horn.” Twilight said her eyes narrowing.

“Besides cutting a hole in your head would open you up to all kinds of harmful bacteria not to mention that removing part of someone’s brain is extremely dangerous.” She added.

“Tell me about it Sparky.” Ethan told her tapping his head.

“Right I guess you would know.” Twilight said feeling a little sheepish. They walked into the shop and found Moria tinkering with something at her work table; she hadn’t noticed them come in yet so Ethan used the time to nod to the guard who nodded back with a smile.

“Morning Moria, is it ready?” Ethan asked.

“Oh I didn’t hear you two come in, and yes it’s ready.” Moria said with a grin.

“I’d like to do the honors if you don’t mind.” Ethan told Moria with a grin, she passed him an object underneath a thin black cloth. “Sparky there comes a time in every man’s life when he must say something very important.” Ethan said bending down on one knee.

“Aren’t you already married?” Twilight asked with a smirk.

“Do you want your surprise or should I just hold onto it?” Ethan asked her, Twilight rolled her eyes and nodded for him to keep going. “Sparky you’ve faced the horrors and trials of the wasteland by my side at my request, for this great personal sacrifice I believe that you deserve.” Ethan told her with a smile and then with a flourish he drew the black cloth off of the object to reveal a small purple pipboy that was just the right size for Twilight.

“You got me a pipboy?” Excitedly as she looked at the object in Ethan’s hands (she’d taken the time to read about them in the Survival Guide and immediately thought that one would be extremely useful)

“Yep, now hold out your leg, this may sting a bit as it adjusts to your nervous system.” He warned her, Twilight simply nodded and held out her right foreleg. With an expert’s hand Ethan snapped the pipboy closed and Twilight felt a slight tingle run through her body. Then the screen lit up and glowed a cheery green. A small pony appeared with a grin on its face, it reminded Twilight of the man on Ethan’s apron.

“Thank you so much Ethan!” Twilight said before she wrapped him in a hug.

“Anytime Sparky, I’ll teach you how to use it while we wait for our ride to get here.” Ethan told her with a smile. “Thanks again Moria, here’s ten thousand caps.” Ethan told the shopkeeper before tossing her a small bag. Moria stared at him. “I’m rich remember?” He told her with a smirk.

“Still this is a lot of money Ethan.” Moria said looking at the bag.

“Moria if anyone in this town besides Spencer deserves to have a little extra spending money it’s you, besides I’m sure Spencer wouldn’t mind a raise.” Ethan said with a nod towards the mercenary who let the ghost of a smile flick across his face.

“Well I suppose that’s a good point, besides it’s hardly dirty money.” Moria said with a smile.

“Exactly, now we’ve got to be outside before Sarah gets here so I’ll see you in a week or maybe more, who knows with me?” He told her with a chuckle before he started out the door, which is when he noticed that Twilight was in the middle of messing with her pipboy. “Come on Twilight you’ll have plenty of time to learn how to use that on the ride.” He told her patting her on the shoulder to get her attention away from pipboy.

“What?” Twilight asked looking up from the screen, Ethan sighed before repeating himself.

“Oh alright let’s go then.” Twilight said and she followed him out the door with a ridiculously happy grin plastered across her face. On their to the gate Ethan noticed Lucas and walked towards the sheriff.

“Morning Lucas, I just thought I’d tell you that Sarah is dropping by to pick us up.” Ethan told Lucas.

“Thanks for the warning Ethan.” Lucas said with a nod before he walked away.

“Are you two not friends?” Twilight asked, it was something that had puzzled her since she’d met the sheriff.

“It’s not that we aren’t friends, it’s that I’ve made his job much more complicated than it ever used to be.” Ethan replied with a chuckle as they walked out the great gates of Megaton.

“How so?” Twilight asked.

“Well for starters there’s the fact that I’m always brining my weird group of friends to town. Then there’s the fact that he now has to worry about protecting the water caravans. Oh and to top it off the Brotherhood of Steel set up an office in town and he’s not that big of a fan.” Ethan said listing a few reasons off the top of his head.

“From what the Survival Guide had to say they seem like alright people.” Twilight said thoughtfully.

“Yeah I like them, and I think you will too, anyways we’re still friends it’s just that we have a few differences of opinion.” Ethan said with a chuckle.

“Wait am I meeting them?” Twilight asked.

“Damn, oh well…” Ethan said realizing what he’d just done. Before he could say anything else the sound of propeller blades cutting through the air forced him into silence, Twilight looked up in open mouth amazement as the giant metal dragonfly descended from the sky throwing up a massive amount of dust as it came. “That’s Sarah.” Ethan shouted over the noise.

“Oh and shut your mouth or a botfly might fly in.” He added with a grin.

“What is that thing?” Twilight shouted over the sound of the rapidly descending vehicle.

“It’s called a vertibird.” Ethan shouted back as the vertibird landed gently. They waited a few seconds before the side of the vertibird opened up to reveal a blond woman wearing large silver gray armor standing in the doorway.

“You know there must be a mistake, here I am to pick up Ethan, and all I find is an idiot in a duster and some small horse.” The woman said after surveying Ethan and Twilight for a few seconds.

“I was thinking the same thing; here I was expecting Sentinel Sarah Lyons proud member of the Brotherhood of Steel, and all I got was some idiot flight jockey.” Ethan replied with a wide grin before he walked up and gave the woman a hug.

“I see you haven’t changed since you’ve been away.” Sarah told him archly.

“I never do.” Ethan replied with a wide smile. “Sarah this is Sparky, Sparky this is Sentinel Sarah Lyons.” Ethan said introducing them.

“Call me Twilight.” Twilight said with a grin as she held out her hoof for Sarah to shake which Sarah did, her armored grip was strong yet gentle and Twilight got the impression that if she’d wanted to Sarah could’ve broken every bone in her leg with a single squeeze.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you Twilight.” Sarah told Twilight before turning to Ethan. “If anyone else had introduced me to a

talking purple unicorn I’d have assumed that I was high out of my mind, because it is you I’m going to assume that it’s Tuesday.” Sarah told Ethan who chuckled.

“Sarah you have no idea how much I get that.” He told her before stepping into the vertibird.

Twilight followed looking slightly nervous but she relaxed once she saw that the majority of the interior was just sheet metal and that only the cockpit itself unusual to her. Sarah took the pilot’s seat and the propellers began to beat outside but the noise was muffled by the walls of the cabin. Then Twilight’s stomach lurched as the vertibird suddenly leapt into the air, she’d been in airships before, but nothing on this scale. The vertibird seemed to laugh at gravity’s puny attempts to keep them land locked as it flew through the air cutting right through the wind. Ethan had taken the copilot’s seat and he was flicking a few switches absently.

“So how’s the Pride?” Ethan asked.

“Good as ever. Gallows said that he had a present for you, something about a modification on your anti material rifle.” Sarah replied, a large smile spread across Ethan’s face.

“Hell yes!” He said with a grin.

“So what did he do exactly, because he wouldn’t tell me and it’s really been bugging me?” Sarah asked.

“He’s attaching a silencer that won’t halve the power along with a thermal scope powered by alien power modules.” He told her with a wide grin.

“You’re joking right; that should be impossible…” Sarah said trailing off.

“Not anymore, now I can snipe Enclave in the middle of the night without them having a clue.” Ethan told her.

“Of course you’re not…” She said with a sigh. “So Twilight what brings you to the ever beautiful Capital Wasteland,

vacation?” Sarah asked turning to Twilight who was fiddling with her pipboy again.

“To be honest I have no idea, one minute I was testing a new spell with Princess Celestia, the next I had four raiders looming over me planning to eat me.” Twilight replied.

“Tough break, well I’m sure we can find you some way back.” Sarah told her compassionately.

“No offense Sarah, but shouldn’t you be focusing on flying?” Twilight asked causing Sarah to chuckle.

“Nope, I’ve already locked in the landing coordinates and we’ll be there in fifteen minutes. I only really have to do anything when we’re landing, taking off, or avoiding enemy fire.” Sarah replied offhandedly. “Which leaves the three of us with nothing to do but talk.”

“So Sarah, gotten laid recently?” Ethan asked, to Twilight’s surprise Sarah’s fist almost seemed to leap forward with its own energy as it smashed into Ethan’s face, there was a loud snap, the sound of a neck breaking. Twilight gapped at Sarah in utter astonishment. Then to her further astonishment Ethan’s neck snapped back into place and he fixed Sarah with a smile.

“I’ll take that as a no.”

***

“You know sister I’ve just had a thought.” Luna said from where she lay next Celestia on the sun goddess’s bed.

“What’s that Lulu?” Celestia asked looking up from her book; she was finding it just as distasteful as the last one (the title had drawn her attention) but if her Twilight was anything like the character in the book she’d have thrown her off a cliff just to grant her the sweat relief of death.

“Well I was thinking that we could try a calling ritual.” Luna said but Celestia just shook her head.

“Luna we both know that that wouldn’t work, a calling requires one to call back an object that they possess, it doesn’t work on sentient beings.” Celestia told Luna with a sigh.

“I’m aware of that Tia; I meant why don’t we try a calling spell on an object that she was wearing or some such?” Luna replied with a grin.

“Because Twilight was stark naked at the time.” Celestia replied with a sigh.

“Dammit Tia if you sigh one more time I swear by all that is holy I’ll send you to the sun!” Luna cried in annoyance, she’d never liked mopey ponies and seeing her sister like this annoyed her more than anything else.

“Then I’ll send you to the moon and we’ll both rot.” Celestia replied with a smirk.

“You know what sister, we’re sparring.” Luna said her silver battle regalia suddenly appearing on her body.

“Luna now is hardly the time for this.” Celestia said with another sigh, Luna formed a magic glove into existence and slapped Celestia across the face with a resounding smack.

“I Luna Princess of the Moon do hereby challenge Princess Celestia Princess of the Sun to a duel of honor, the fight shall continue until one of us can no longer fight without having to tap into our reserves!” Luna cried loud enough for the entire castle to hear. There was a great cheer of celebration (ponies love to see a good cat fight, especially when the cats in question are actually their gods).

“Luna, you’re going to regret that!” Celestia said with a wide smile.

“Damn right I am; now come to the arena and make me sister, unless you really are as virginal as the masses seem to think!” Luna said with a wider smile.

***

“How? Is? That? Possible?” Twilight asked pausing between words.

“Oh that it’s something that I got from working with Moria. Whenever my body is at a certain radiation level my bones automatically become unbreakable.” Ethan said with a shrug.

“But she broke your neck!” Twilight all but shouted.

“Actually she dislocated it.” Ethan replied.

“But that’s not how it works!” Twilight actually did shout that.

“Twilight take a page from my book and don’t question things like this, trust me you’ll be happier.” Ethan told Twilight with a grin, Twilight began to gently hit her head against the bulkhead of the aircraft.

“She is new isn’t she?” Sarah asked as she looked on in pity. “So have you gotten laid recently?” She asked turning back to Ethan.

“Hell yeah, what did you think I was doing in Vegas with my wife?” Ethan asked with a grin.

“I assumed you were off fighting mutant ninja turtle aliens.” Sarah replied with a shrug.

“Those exists?” Ethan asked excitedly.

“Not anymore I heard they were killed by the leprechauns.” Sarah replied dryly.

“You know I’ve never seen a leprechaun before, do you think if I shot it with a gun it’d bleed Lucky Charms?” Ethan asked and received an odd look from Sarah for his trouble.

“What’re Lucky Charms?” Sarah asked.

“They’re a cereal that we found at Big Mt.” Ethan replied. “Sorry I forgot that you weren’t there, anyways their mascot was a leprechaun.” Ethan continued with a shrug.

“Ah I get it.” Sarah told him dryly.

“Forget I mentioned it, so how’s the rest of the pride?”

***

“So the Celestia and Luna are goin ta fight?” Applejack asked from their position in the bleachers.

“Not fight darling, it’s a duel. They’re completely different.” Rarity corrected her. “Oh and refer to them as Princesses, titles are important.” Rarity added, for some reason Pinkie chuckled at that.

“What’s funny Pinkie?” Dash asked from where she was holding her bag of popcorn.

“Oh nothing Dashie.” Pinkie said with a grin. “Hey look it’s Cloudkicker.” Pinkie said pointing at the blue pegasus. “Hi Cloudkicker!” Pinkie called and waved at the mare.

“Hey Pinkie, what’re you and the five of you doing here boss?” Cloudkicker asked turning to Dash.

“Watching the show while we take a break from looking for Twilight, what are you doing here?” Dash asked.

“Oh you know, I’m just here looking for somepony to bang.” Cloudkicker replied with a wide smile.

“For some reason I’m not surprised.” Dash said with a grin.

“Well it was good seeing you boss.” Cloudkicker told Dash giving her a salute before she flew off towards another section of the grandstands.

“I still don’t know how you can stand to be around that horrid slut.” Rarity said.

“Cloudkicker has been my friend for years; you just don’t know her well.” Dash replied with a shrug.

“Oh I’m sure you know her very well.” Rarity said with a smirk causing Dash to blush.

“Not that way Rarity, geez she’s just my friend.” Dash told Rarity before they could get any farther a stallion in golden armor stepped into the center of the packed dueling ring.

“Ladies and gentlecolts we are here to witness a duel between two gods, please do not worry about your safety there are extremely strong wards guarding your seats.” The stallion said into a microphone. “Also remember that this duel is merely a stress relief exercise and that the Princesses are not actually trying to kill each other.”

“Thank you Artos.” Celestia told the stallion from her side of the sandy pit.

“Well Celly are we doing this or are you a big white chicken?” Luna called from across the pit.

“Oh it is on!” Celestia shouted.

Day 2 Part 2

Day 2 Part 2

“So let me get this straight, you regenerate in the sunlight, you’re body slowly eats radiation inside you but only to the point that it doesn’t affect your ability to not break limbs, You’re a cyborg with uncountable modifications both mechanical and genetic; your skeleton itself has been coated in a nearly unbreakable substance, and to top it the pipboy gives you the ability to temporarily stop time?” Twilight asked incredulously.

“Mhm.” Ethan replied with a nod. “There’s other stuff too but you don’t need to worry about it, like that eye tentacle penis I had for a while” He added; Twilight just stared at him.

“He’s joking Twilight, don’t worry you’ll get used to it.” Sarah said from where she sat next to Ethan, suddenly the vertibird jerked slightly and Sarah turned back to the controls. “We’re here.” She told the other two with a smile.

“Great I can’t wait to get my new gun.” Ethan told Sarah with a grin, the blond woman rolled her eyes. “By the way Sparky you’re probably going to have around a dozen scribes chasing after you asking for fur samples, be nice.” He told her with a grin. Twilight raised her eyebrows at the thought but shrugged, she knew how it was to be a scientist suddenly presented with a new species.

“I think I’ll be able to handle it.” Twilight replied with a shrug.

“You say that now…” Ethan said with a smirk. The vertibird landed with a soft jolt and Sarah walked over to the hatch and pushed it open before stepping out into the sunlight. Ethan followed with Twilight beside him a few seconds later.

Twilight’s breath caught in her throat as she looked around the courtyard of the Citadel. She’d never seen anything that looked quite like it before. Brotherhood members in powerarmor stood at a shooting range firing deadly blasts of laser at targets while initiates did pushups in the background. Ethan let out a long happy sigh at the sight and said.

“It’s good be home.” He said with a content smile on his face.

“It is good to see you again my friend, I take it that your time in Vegas was satisfactory?” An old man in blue robes asked as he walked up to Ethan, the two shared a firm handshake.

“Very Elder, oh and Elder Nolan sends his regards.” Ethan told the old man who sighed.

“I’m sure he does… So who is your new friend Ethan?” The old man asked turning to regard Twilight with a slight frown on his face. Ethan was about to say something but Twilight beat him to it.

“I’m Twilight Sparkle; it’s an honor to meet you Elder.” Twilight said giving the man a bow. The old man chuckled to himself and then offered Twilight his hand to shake; she took it and felt a surprising amount of strength in his grip.

“I am Elder Lyons, and it is nice to meet someone who knows how to be respectful.” He told her with a glance towards Ethan who just smiled causing the Elder to roll his eyes. “If you don’t mind me asking how did a unicorn make her way to the Capital Wasteland?”

“Can we wait till we’ve got everyone who will want to hear it, because to be honest I don’t feel like repeating it a few dozen times?” Twilight asked him with an embarrassed blush when she realized that the old man was probably the local equivalent of Princess Celestia (without the ability to raise the sun or the extremely sexy flanks) “If that’s alright with you.” She added quickly drawing another chuckle from the old man.

“Of course my dear, although I suggest you stay close to Ethan otherwise my scribes may want to examine you and I’m not sure if they’d be able to stop themselves from trying something invasive …” He said trailing off and then shrugging.

“Hey Sparky I’m going to go get my new gun from Gallows, I’ll see you in the briefing room.” Ethan told her before giving Twilight mock salute and walking off. The Elder sighed and rolled his eyes.

“You know if it wasn’t for the fact that he’s so cheerful and helpful I would probably have killed that boy by now.” Elder Lyons whispered to Twilight who giggled.

“I wish you the best of luck with that dad.” Sarah said as she walked up to them (she’d been yelling at an initiate who was pointing his laser rifle at others) “So what’s the plan?” Sarah asked her father.

“I suppose we get Rothchild and a few other important members and then discuss this news of a new supermutant leader.” Elder Lyons said with a sigh. “I swear sometimes it seems like this damnable war will never end.” He added.

“We’ll get them eventually dad, who knows maybe this time will be the last time they’re able to organize.” Sarah said with a shrug.

“If you don’t mind would you tell me about this war while we wait?” Twilight asked.

“Sarah why don’t you two meet in the conference room and I’ll get a few others, you can use the time to sate Miss Sparkle’s mind.” Elder Lyons said and Sarah nodded.

“So what do you want to know?” She asked as they walked along the halls of the Citadel.

“Tell me everything.” Twilight replied while she glanced nervously over her shoulder at the large pack of men in red robes who were either really interested in her flanks, or they were the scribes who the Elder had mentioned. Either way they made Twilight uneasy (They were talking in hushed voices and Twilight heard the sound of pens writing on paper). Sarah caught her glance before looking for herself and sighing.

“Hey knock it off, she’ll talk to you in a little while, in the meantime I know that there are dozens of laser rifles that need repairing!” Sarah shouted at them. The scribes let out a collective moan.

“But Sarah she’s a goddamn unicorn!” One of them cried.

“You’re very observant.” Sarah replied.

“Come on you have to let us run some tests, besides she shouldn’t be around you in the first place!” Another scribe whined.

“Why not?” Sarah asked incredulously.

“Because you’re not a virgin, and according to myth unicorns can’t stand to be around non virgins.” One of the scribes said pushing his glasses up his face.

“What; where would you get an idea like that?” Twilight asked in surprised shock.

“Myth and legend is very clear on it, unicorns drive their horn through the hearts of non virgins and can only safely interact with young maidens.” Another answered; Twilight looked at Sarah in confusion.

“I’m not big on myth.” Sarah told her with a shrug.

“Well it doesn’t work like that where I come from, so would you please stop following me?” Twilight asked politely. The scribes huffed but eventually walked away somehow managing to move at once despite the fact that there were around fifteen of them.

“Anyways you wanted to hear about the supermutants right?” Sarah asked.

***

“Wow Gallows, this is awesome!” Ethan said as he hefted the modified anti material rifle. “I think I’m going to call him Tom.” Ethan added with a grin as he looked through the scope at a group of supermutant masters who thought that now would be an opportune time to take a walk near the citadel.

“I thought you would approve.” The black man told Ethan with a slight smile. Ethan pulled the trigger and one of the mutant’s was eviscerated in a shower of gore as the bullet punched through its chest. The other mutants looked around in confusion and through the thermal scope Ethan could see their every movement. Ethan took another shot this one pulped the head of a mutant of blood and brains.

“Why do they even come here?” Ethan asked gesturing at the mutants who he continued to snipe.

“They are performing recon, although they are very bad at it.” Gallows told Ethan as he shouldered his own rifle (it was a normal sniper rifle, Gallows generally avoided the larger variant being the spec ops soldier that he was) and took a shot that nailed a supermutant between the eyes.

“So did I miss anything major while I was in Vegas?” Ethan asked the man between the whisper quite shots of his rifle.

“We hit a supermutant outpost and killed ten.” Gallows replied. “There were supposed to be more.” He added with a frown.

“Then we’ve got a problem.” Ethan said as he caused the last mutant’s left arm to fly off before Gallows shot it in the neck.

“Sloppy.” Gallows told Ethan.

“I was going to shoot the other one off too.” Ethan said with a shrug.

“You shouldn’t take pleasure from it, it is a job.” Gallows said quietly. “At the very least you should give them the mercy of a quick death.”

“Which is a mercy that I’m sure they’ll repay in kind.” Ethan said sarcastically.

“It is one of the things that separates us from them, well that and the smell.” Gallows said wrinkling his nose.

“And here I thought you didn’t have a sense of humor.” Ethan joked.

“I do, it’s just to dry for most people’s tastes.” Gallows replied with a shrug.

“Gallow’s humor.” Ethan said with a snicker.

“I could always push you off the edge.” Gallows told him but a small smirk was spreading across his face.

***

“May I say something?” Twilight asked when Sarah had finished relating their war with the mutants.

“Sure.” Sarah replied with a shrug.

“Don’t take this the wrong way, but it seems to me that you’ve been going about this the wrong way.” Twilight told Sarah who raised an eyebrow but motioned her to go on. “My brother went through military training and I read all of his textbooks, and I know that they may not exactly translate well but I’m going to try to this te.” Twilight said.

“Go on I’m listening.” Sarah told her.

“Well you don’t seem to respect your enemy.” Twilight said.

“Of course not they’re unintelligent beasts who’d rather use a sledge hammer then a gun.” Sarah replied slightly annoyed.

“If they’re stupid then why are you losing?” Twilight asked; Sarah stared at the purple unicorn. “Think about it, could an unorganized group of stupid beings really manage to hold you to a virtual standstill?” Twilight asked.

“No, no they couldn’t.” Sarah said (more to herself then to Twilight).

“Exactly, they must have some form of command system or at the very least someone in charge that’s capable of making key strategic decisions.” Twilight told her.

“But who?” Sarah asked in frustration.

“I don’t know.” Twilight replied with a shrug. “Another of your problems from what you’ve told me that it takes the Brotherhood about four years to make a knight right?” Twilight asked and Sarah nodded. “And from what you told me it takes them twenty minutes to an hour of being exposed to some chemical correct?” Twilight asked and Sarah nodded again. “They’re simply going to outbreed you if nothing else, and at the rate they’re going they won’t even have to do that.”

“Thirdly you’re way to spread out.” Twilight said simply.

“What do you mean?” Sarah asked.

“From what my brother’s books said (along with some of the reading that Celestia made me do in case I ever wanted to pursue an army career) you ideally only want to defend up to four areas at the same time. Otherwise you risk you risk overextending yourselves and being unable to secure the places that are of the highest strategic importance. Quick list the four most important fortifications and why those are the most important!” Twilight said suddenly.

“The Citadel, it’s our home base and holds the majority of our forces. The Washington Mall because all major traffic runs through it, it’s the nexus of the city. Threedog’s recording studio, he’s proven an invaluable tool in our war and he’s highly dependable.” Sarah stopped because she couldn’t come up with a fourth place of any importance.

“Alright, then why do you have patrols running all over the city? From what you’ve told me you haven’t even completely secured the Mall.” Twilight asked Sarah.

“We go out to keep their numbers down.” Sarah said readily.

“And how many men do you typically lose when a squad goes on patrol?” Twilight asked.

“One or two, it’s war people die.” Sarah said simply.

“Yes people die in war, but as we went over you can’t afford to lose any people.” Twilight replied.

“What are you suggesting Twilight?” Sarah asked.

“Stop sending your people out to die on pointless extermination runs, grab the Mall and hold it in a choke hold, find the supermutant leader and kill him.” Twilight told Sarah harshly as if it should’ve been obvious (and now that Sarah thought about it it was)

“Rothchild I believe that we were just proved to be fools by a purple talking unicorn.” Elder Lyons intoned from the doorway.

“That’s magic talking unicorn Lyons.” Ethan said from behind them. Twilight looked up and blushed deeply as she saw the eight or so pairs of eyes looking at her.

“Or at least that’s what I would suggest if my rough understanding of military tactics is in any way applicable.” Twilight said quickly blushing a deeper shade of red. “How long have you been listening?”

“I suppose that long enough would be an acceptable answer?” Elder Lyons replied with a sigh.

“Way to go Sparky; if I’d known you knew so much about tactics I’d have talked to you about it earlier.” Ethan said as he walked in and took the seat next to Twilight.

“Yes, that was very informative.” A bald man in a red robe said thoughtfully. “I would like to speak to you alone after this meeting is over Miss Sparkle.” The man told her with a small smile on his thin lips.

“Umm sure.” Twilight replied still somewhat embarrassed that she’d mocked the strategy employed by the Brotherhood in front of its Elder.

“I mean you no harm, I simply have things to discuss, I’m Scribe Rothchild and I’m very interested in you.” The man in red said.

“He’s cool Sparky, don’t worry.” Ethan added from where he was leaning back in his chair.

***

Celestia stared across the sandy pit at her sister, Luna stared right back at her, a smirk firmly in place upon her lips. The watching ponies faded into the background and Celestia smirked back. Without warning Luna shot forward, her long silvery saber Tremere held aloft as it streaked towards Celestia’s head. Celestia simply stepped backwards and raised her own sword (a golden rapier) Lux and easily blocked the oncoming sword with an almost contemptuous block. They spun away from each other and their swords cutting and slashing at each other as they went.

Luna broke the exchange first and backpedaled to give herself a little room and to see how her sister was doing. Celestia for her part had raised an eyebrow and was smirking slightly. Luna grinned back at her before looking up at the sun with a mischievous gleam in her eye. Celestia could practically see the gears turning in her sister’s head but before she could stop her Luna had already summoned a large bank of clouds that blocked out most of the sun’s light leaving only enough to cast the battlefield under an oppressive grayness.

“Is it going to start raining now for added drama?” Celestia asked.

“I was thinking about it but I thought that that would be a bit much.” Luna confided.

The ponies in the spectator’s stands were all watching with amazement as the two gods politely talked to each other after (what appeared to the ponies) to be a furious clash of enchanted steel.

“Have you caught your breath yet sister?” Luna asked looking over at the larger alicorn who chuckled.

“Luna I haven’t broken a sweat.” Celestia replied lightly before charging at her sister.

Celestia channeled the little sunlight available in the dim arena and reflected it off of her blade and aimed it directly into Luna’s eyes as she charged. Luna said some very choice words which were not meant for the ears of the average pony (sun humping cunt, for those who are interested) and quickly turned herself into black mist which dissipated just before Celestia’s glowing golden blade passed.

“I’m sorry sister did you say something, I couldn’t quite here you?” Celestia asked with a smirk spreading across her face.

“I said that you’re slow sister.” Luna said from above her as she drove her saber into Celestia’s neck.

The ponies in the crowd gasped in shock as Celestia’s head rolled from her body, but before anyone could react further there was a puff of smoke and the head turned into a log.

“Really Tia?” Luna asked in annoyance, she hadn’t thought that she’d meet her old enemy The Log again…

“Well I just remembered how much you used to like enjoy it when I did that and I thought that you would appreciate it.” Celestia whispered in Luna’s ear. “By the way, you’re the slow one.” She added as the ground sucked Luna down and encased her in mud.

“Well played sister, but there is something you seem to have forgotten.” Luna replied with a smirk.

“And what would that be?” Celestia asked as she prepared swing the final slice. Instead of answering her Luna disappeared with a loud pop and Celestia found herself surrounded by ten Lunas.

“That I cheat.” Luna replied with a grin.

***

“I call this meeting to order.” Elder Lyons said.

“All hail chief buffalo.” Ethan intoned just loud enough to be heard, Lyons rolled his eye and continued as if he hadn’t heard Ethan’s horribly outdated joke.

“As I believe you are all aware Ethan has news of the gravest importance, don’t you Ethan?” Elder Lyons asked, Ethan’s ever-present grin faded and he rose to his feet.

“My contact has word that the supermutants have decided on a leader and that they are going to be making a major offensive soon. I believe that their leader is a Nightkin.” He said; his words made an immediate impression on the men and women assembled in the room. All most everyone’s face blanched except for Knight Captain Dusk who snorted.

“What’s the big deal, they’re all muties?” Dusk asked in annoyance and standing up from her seat, Ethan rounded on her.

“Have you ever fought something so insane that it has become sane again who also has the ability to turn invisible as it silently stalks you through a dark basement? No? Then you cannot possibly grasp the severity of the threat, sit down and shut up .” He told her calmly and Dusk flinched but she kept on standing.

“You know what? Fuck you, ever since you and your deadbeat dad showed up everything’s gone to shit. First the goddamn Enclave attack, then we’re responsible for carrying water across the wastes, and now you’re trying to scare me of all people! How the fuck you get away with all kinds of shit that would get anyone else thrown in front of a firing squad in under a minute is a complete fucking mystery to me, but I know that I sure as hell won’t stand for it you prick!” She shouted at him angrily before she swung her fist at Ethan with a lethal right hook that caught Ethan under the chin.

His teeth cracked together loudly as hit neck snapped back and Twilight heard the newly familiar sound of his neck snapping (or whatever the fuck his neck did). Then ever so slowly he lowered his head until his eyes were even with Dusk’s, and popped his neck back into place. Dusks stared at him in fascinated horror as Ethan’s eyes met hers and then he smirked.

“Not bad, for an initiate.” He replied conversationally before flooring her with a punch to the nose that sent Knight Captain Dusk of the Lyons’ Pride that sent her flying into the back wall. Her nose shot blood as she went and ended up getting several of the other members of the meeting wet. “I was the one who defeated the Enclave with your organization’s help, not the other way around. And if you ever call my father a deadbeat again I will remind you just how I managed it.” Ethan told her his voice had dropped into the tone that Twilight recognized from when he’d been interrogating the mercenary.

“Go fuck yourself.” Dusk replied rising to her feat.

“ENOUGH!" Elder Lyons shouted with enough volume and strength that Twilight thought Luna would be impressed. “We are here discussing the enemy at hand, not our own petty squabbles. Night Captain Dusk you will go to the infirmary and have your nose tended to, you will not return for the rest of this meeting. Ethan after this meeting is through you will find Night Captain Dusk and beg her forgiveness for breaking her nose.” Elder Lyons said with great finality.

At first Twilight thought that they would both continue to argue, instead they both shared a glare before turning back to the old man and saying. “Yes Elder Lyons.”

“Good, I believe that we were discussing the Nightkin.” Elder Lyons said restarting the conversation. Dusk shot one last glare at Ethan before she stalked out of the room, Ethan for his part stood up to talk again.

“The Nightkin were the Master’s closest followers and the mutants who possess the most intelligence. They are extraordinarily strong (their soldiers typically wield two super sledges at the same time, and those are just some of the lighter melee weapons that they employ). Nightkin are also severally insane, most are too lost in their own heads to provide much of a threat (well aside from ripping you to pieces of course) but occasionally one breaks out of the insanity completely sane. Those that pull off this feat are deeply intellectual thanks to the experience and have the ability to outthink most humans.” Ethan said. He got several astonished looks while he recounted this but continued without pause.

“I’ve fought them with my wife, they are a cruel and sneaky foe who can and will kill you if you screw up for even a second. The fact that they can also turn invisible thanks to years of using stealthboys make them an even more pronounced threat.” Ethan finished his speech with a nod towards the Elder.

“I am calling for all patrols to return to the Citadel to await redeployment; we shall decide where each one goes afterwards. For now I want every Knight, Paladin, and Sentinel behind a solid wall until I say otherwise with the exception of the spec ops department. No one is to leave the Citadel without my direct authorization” Elder Lyons said sternly.

“Yes Elder Lyons.” Everyone in the room said, even Ethan (much to Twilight’s surprise)

“Dismissed.”

***

Celestia found herself looking at ten copies of her sister, some were mere illusions meant to distract her, but others had been infused with magic and posed an actual threat. Time effectively stopped as Celestia’s mid analyzed her position and its consequences. Celestia was overmatched, there was no way to tell which Luna was the real Luna (let alone which was simply an illusion especially in the little light that escaped the clouds. But wait! The clouds, of course! She could use that! Time snapped back into place and Celestia’s horn flared once before rapidly fading. Luna didn’t catch the glow because she was preoccupied with her gloating.

“What’s the matter sister dearest, do you surrender?” Luna asked with a large grin as she looked at Celestia’s bent head. Then Celestia’s head snapped up and her eyes were full of laughter.

“I will never surrender to you sister; not now and not ever.” Celestia said with a grin, which is when the rain began; it was as if a torrential downpour had started over the entire battlefield. Celestia smiled as her plan went into effect. Luna was temporarily blinded by the sudden torrent of shockingly cold water and Celestia used the time to quickly scan the Lunas in front of her looking for those who the water didn’t pass through. Casting illusions is easy, making them rainproof is another matter altogether. Celestia whirled through the illusions ending their false lives with quick well places stabs as she rapidly moved towards her real quarry.

Luna for her part was only just recovering her senses as Celestia’s blade tapped against her throat and a thin line of golden blood dripped from the wound. Luna stared at the golden blood as it began to slide off of her coat.

“Are you okay sister?” Celestia asked in concern but Luna only chuckled and embraced her sister in a hug.

“Of course sister, I’m behind you.”

And with that the Luna that Celestia was embracing puffed out of existence and Celestia felt a sharp pain on her right flank as Luna’s blade cut a shallow gash into it. Instead of turning Celestia bucked with all of her godly strength and sent Luna flying into the forcefield that protected the crowd with a loud bang. This Luna actually groaned as she regained her hooves so Celestia knew it was the real one.

“Want to give them a show?” Luna whispered in Celestia’s mind.

“I’m sure the stallions in the audience will enjoy that, along with several of the mares.” Celestia replied mentally with a smirk. Then without warning the bottom of the arena turned into thick mud and the two alicorns flew at each other before they collided in the air and fell into the mud together wrestling for dominance.

“I do so love it when they fight, would you mind passing me the popcorn?” Discord asked Pinkie who passed the bag over his way long enough for the spirit of disharmony to grab a pawful. “Thanks Pinkie.”

“Anytime, I keep metaphysical popcorn hidden around Equestria for metaphysical popcorn emergencies.” Pinkie replied with a grin as she watched the two alicorns roll in the mud.

***

As everyone began to file out of the meeting room Sarah pulled Ethan aside.

“If you ever touch one of my Pride members again I will hurt you Ethan.” Sarah told him sternly with a glare.

“She was asking for it, besides I only broke her nose.” Ethan replied with a shrug. Sarah’s hand flashed out and impacted against Ethan’s nose breaking it instantly.

“There and now I broke yours, how does that make you feel?” Sarah asked him.

“Not too bad actually.” Ethan replied as his nose snapped back into place with an audible pop.

“You’re impossible.” Sarah said with a groan.

“And that’s why you love me; in a sisterly way.” Ethan told her with a grin; Sarah punched him in the nose again.

“Yeah, but if I was your sister then I’d be a lot uglier. Now let’s go find Dusk so that you two can apologize to each other, and if you don’t I’ll tell your wife.” Sarah told him with a smirk.

“But, but, ba!” Ethan said throwing his hands into the air, for once he was incapable of producing a real response.

“That’s what I thought, now move!”

Day 2 Part 3

Day 2 part 3

The Courier awoke to the feeling of a wave of warm water hitting her in the face. She sputtered and tried to wipe her eyes but found that her arms were bound to a log, as were her legs. As she returned to consciousness she noticed that she was submerged up to her neck in water. She groaned slightly (her head felt like there were a dozen deathclaws trying to cut their way out of it while a legionary laughed in the background.)

“Oh you’re awake.” A male voice said from behind her.

“Where are we?” She asked her head clearing immediately as she sensed the fact that she wasn’t alone.

“Oh you know, tumbling downriver together tied to a log.” The voice answered.

“Should I know you?” The Courier asked with a slight sigh.

“Na, I just got into town.” The voice replied simply.

“Well then I’m Cassandra Shepard, call me Cassie.” The Courier replied as she felt around for a way to get out of her bonds.

“Cool, I’m Ethan Smith it’s a pleasure to meet you.” The voice told her (for all the world he sounded like he was shaking her hand, as if they were meeting under normal circumstances. Cassie decided that she liked Ethan)

“It’s nice to meet someone who’s as calm about this kind of thing as I am.” Cassie said and Ethan barked a laugh.

“You know I was just thinking that.” Ethan replied then their log hit a rock.

“So how’d you end up tied to a log?” Cassie asked after they’d recovered from the shockwave.

“Well you see I was heading towards Vegas with plans to meet the new boss, and I got stopped by some tribals who somehow managed to drug me.” Ethan told her with a shrug.

“I’ve got good news for you then Ethan; I’m the Courier, the big boss of New Vegas.” Cassie told him with a chuckle.

“Awesome, uh oh.” Ethan said

“Don’t tell me, we’re about to go over a huge waterfall.” Cassie said deadpanly.

“Yep.” Ethan replied in the same tone that Cassie had used.

“Sharp rocks at the bottom?” Cassie asked with a slight sigh.

“Most likely.” Ethan replied with chuckle.

“Bring it on.” Cassie said a fierce smile running across her face. Her stomach lurched as they started over the edge of the waterfall.

“This might be a good time to mention that I’m essentially unkillable.” Ethan told her over the noise.

“Join the club!” She shouted back.

“Boooyaaa!” Ethan shouted while they fell.

***

“And that’s how I met my wife.” Ethan finished with a grin.

“You met your wife tied to a log.” Twilight said archly.

“Yep, we had a blast that week.” Ethan told Twilight with a wide grin.

***

“You know sister that idea was better in my head.” Luna said as they made their way to the royal baths.

“I think the maids are going to have a conniption fit when they see the muddy carpets.” Celestia agreed with a giggle.

“Ugh my mane feels like I haven’t washed it in ten years.” Luna groaned as she absently stroked her mane.

“At least the stallions seemed to enjoy the show.” Celestia said with a chuckle.

“Oh yes they seemed very interested.” Luna said with a smirk.

“Oh and did you see some of the mares? I’m pretty sure that I saw Spitfire drooling.” Celestia asked with a giggle.

“Both she and Soarin if my memory serves.” Luna replied as they walked into the royal bathing suite.

“What did you two do to yourselves?!” Bubblebath the royal stylist shouted waving his arms melodramatically.

“Well we were having a duel, but then we decided to try mud wrestling.” Celestia told the white stallion with a grin.

“This is so possibly the worst I’ve ever seen you two, and I was there after you fought the dragon!” Bubblebath exclaimed.

“So can you fix it?” Luna asked with a smirk.

“Darlings I can fix anything, although I’m debating just letting you suffer.” Bubblebath said rubbing his chin.

“But Bubblebath if you don’t help us we’ll look like this forever!” Luna cried with a large pout.

“There there Celly we still have each other.” Celestia said as she Luna pulled closer to her with her wings and looked deeply into her sister’s eyes.“We’ll just have to clean each other.” Celestia added with a wink.

“Oh sister I don’t think we could, can you imagine what the press would do?” Luna asked but she leaned her lips closer to her sister’s.

“Alright alright I’ll help, just keep that to yourselves!” Bubblebath said in exasperation.

“Thanks Bubblebath, you know I think you’re one of the few stallions who wouldn’t have wanted that to go farther.” Luna said with a grin.

“Yes I know, now come over to the tubs so I can begin.” Bubblebath said with a grimace.

“You know sister I’m glad we did this today, it’s helped me feel better.” Celestia said giving Luna a smile from where she sat in her tub.

“Anytime sister.” Luna said returning the smile as Bubblebath emptied a bucket of warm water over her head.

“So who won anyways?” Bubblebath asked as he walked over and dumped water on Celestia.

“I think it was a tie.” Luna said with a smirk at Celestia.

***

The man with the broken nose sat behind his desk and read the report again.

“This could make things messy.” He told the centurion standing in front of his desk.

“We have arranged for something to keep her busy until our operation here is finished.” The centurion said simply.

“Because you have an impeccable track record at that.” The man with the broken nose said adjusting his glasses. The centurion’s face darkened with anger but other than that he remained motionless.

“If your plan fails then you are on your own, the Legion cannot afford to help you.” The centurion said calmly.

“I am well aware of that centurion. When my plan succeeds then the Legion will be the most powerful force in the Capital Wasteland.” The man with the broken nose replied.

“I am glad we understand each other, I will be back in a week to see how your plan is progressing, true to Caesar.”

“True to Caesar.” The man with the broken nose replied as he returned to his plans. It would work, and then he’d have his revenge.

***

Cassandra brushed a lock of her wild red hair out of her face and looked at the man in front of her with narrowed eyes.

“Benny, get out.” She said simply, three words, three words that simmered with the heat of nuclear blasts. The man in the checkered suit flinched.

“Aw come on baby, it’s not like I deserve to be treated like this.” Benny protested holding up his hands.

“You shot me in the head, then slept with me, then abandoned me to try and get the platinum chip, and then when I saved you from being a legionary’s bitch you ran off without a second glance. Get out.” Cassandra said firmly while she reached into her pocket and withdrew A Light Shining in Darkness. The .45 auto pistol fit comfortingly in her hand as she pointed it at Benny’s head.

“Hey hey hey, I think you’re misunderstanding me chickadee.” Benny protested sweat streaked his face and was ruining his suit.

“What exactly am I misunderstanding here Benny, because I’d love to know?” Cassandra asked as she loaded an incendiary round into the pistol.

“Look just hear me out okay” He said desperately “Please.” He added quietly. Cassandra put the pistol back on the desk and looked into the eyes of the man who’d shot her in the head.

“You have five minutes; if you take longer then I’ll shoot you. If I don’t believe you then I’ll shoot you. If you annoy me I’ll shoot you. Start talking Benny.” She ordered.

“Look I am sorry for what I did to you an-”

“Skip it, clocks ticking.” Cassandra interrupted.

“Anyways I’m here to warn you, something’s up with the Legion, and when I say that I mean they’ve got something really bad planned.” Benny said quietly.

“Why come to me?” Cassandra asked puzzledly.

“Because you killed Caesar, hell you killed at least half of the Legion singlehandedly. Look I know you don’t like me, but whatever they have planned is seriously bad news for everyone.” Benny told her frankly.

“Alright I’m interested, what’s their plan?” Cassandra asked.

“That’s the thing, I can’t figure it out. They seem to be moving in random directions. First they’re seen up north, then to the west, and then to the south, it’s like they’re trying to find something.” Benny told her with a shrug.

“Hmm… Benny if you’re lying to me…” Cassandra said.

“Why would I lie to you chickadee?” Benny asked with a smile.

“Because you’re a snake tongued coward.” Cassandra answered with a small smirk.

“Yes I am, but do you really think I’d come here just to lie to you?” Benny asked.

“Benny I think you’d do whatever was necessary to keep your head attached to your shoulders. Now tell me what the Legion is really up to before I shoot you.” Cassandra said her gun once again filling her hand.

“Okay okay okay I’ll talk! They’re after your husband!” Benny said frantically. “They forced me to send you on a wild goose chase so they could take over the Capital Wasteland; I swear if I hadn’t they would’ve killed me!”

“I believe you, but why would they send you of all people as a messenger? They know I don’t trust you, so the question is; what are they really after?”

“No idea, are you going to kill me?” Benny asked.

“I haven’t decided yet. Yes Man could you take Benny to one of the high security suites, make sure he’s comfortable.” Cassandra asked the robot standing behind her.

“Sure thing boss, I’ll keep him in room 69.” Yes Man replied with his trademark smile.

“Oh and Yes Man, protocol 42.” Cassandra added.

“Answer no questions and tell him nothing, got it boss.” Yes Man said giving her a salute before grabbing Benny by the shoulder and pulling him out of the room.

Cassandra turned her chair around and looked out at Vegas as it spread out below her. Who would’ve believed that three years ago this place had been close to collapse thanks to the influence of the NCR and the Legion? Sure the place still needed a bit of work, but she was well on her way to establishing the city on the map as the dominant power in the entire country. She sighed as her vision strayed across one of the many prostitutes patrolling the strip looking to take some poor idiot’s money. She was going to get rid of them eventually but at the moment she still needed them, and she’d keep on needing them until she found another way for Vegas to draw people in. Until that day the only reason people would come to Vegas were the casinos and the brothels.

And now the Legion were back trying to fuck up everything that she’d done, or they were after her husband. In the case of the latter she almost pitied them, if the former…well people who tried to fuck with her had the oddest habit of appearing wonderglued to lamp posts in the middle of the strip, naked, with their genitalia removed.

***

“Today was one hell of a day Owyn.” Scribe Reginald Rothchild said as he and Elder Lyons sat across from each other in the Elder’s chambers.

“Indeed, it isn’t every day one meets a talking unicorn.” Lyons agreed taking a sip of his drink (a watered down glass of wine.)

“And learns that we have a whole new war to fight against an army led by an intelligent mutant.” Rothchild added with a frown.

“That too old friend that too.” Lyons said with a matching frown. “What worries me is that we’re being played.”

“You think that Ethan is lying to us?” Rothchild asked narrowing his eyes.

“Hardly, I think that we’re all being played old friend. I don’t know why but I feel as if we’re being led into a trap.” Lyons answered with a grimace.

“Twilight Sparkle is hardly a reason to be concerned, I believe that she is telling the truth. I had a long talk with her and I do not think that there is a dishonest bone in her body.” Rothchild said but Lyons shook his head.

“Not her Reginald. I think that Miss Sparkle is here as either part of a greater plan on our enemy’s part, or she’s an unexpected variable that the enemy will not expect, however I think that it is the former and not the latter.” Lyons said.

“What brought you to this conclusion?” Rothchild asked.

“I stopped believing in coincidence a long time ago Reginald, Twilight Sparkle is here for a reason mark my words.” Lyons said with a sigh. “I only wish that someone as innocent as she is didn’t have to get involved in this, war is a nasty business.”

“This is the Wasteland Owyn, no one is innocent, although I believe that Miss Sparkle is about as close as you can get.” Rothchild said with a sigh.

“I know it old friend believe me I know it.” Lyons said with a deep frown.

“It’s getting late and we have a lot to do tomorrow old friend.” Rothchild said getting up from his seat.

“Pleasant dreams Reginald.” Lyons told his friend as he contemplated another glass of wine.

***

“The asshole broke my goddamn nose Sarah!” Dusk shouted in Sarah’s face.

“I know that Dusk, that’s why I broke his.” Sarah replied calmly.

“Why the hell do we let that fucking asshat order us around like we’re his personal fucking army Sarah? We were fighting muties twenty years before he came a long and we were doing just fine!” Dusk continued as if she hadn’t heard Sarah.

“Dusk be quite.” Gallows said from where he was sitting at the round table the Pride used to hold meetings.

“Shut up Gallows, I know you have a crush on him!” Dusk shouted at Gallows who regarded her with an unamused expression.

“Why are you taking this so personally Dusk?” Paladin Vargas asked (he was Sarah’s second in command among the Pride)

“Because he doesn’t deserve to be a member of the pride dammit, I had to work my ass off to be here and all he had to do was just walk in with that damn and boom he’s a Pride member!” She retorted angrily.

“I’ll admit his methods are unusual, but he gets things done Dusk.” Vargas said in a tired voice.

“Does anyone want my input on this?” Kodiak asked (he was the Pride’s jack of all traits)

“Shut up Kodiak!” Dusk snapped.

“Fine, ignore me.” Kodiak replied with a shrug.

“All of you shut up, our leader has something to say.” Paladin Glade said his deep voice echoed off the walls and silenced the other members of the Pride.

“Thank you Glade, look Dusk I understand that you have a problem with Ethan. That being said I need to know whether it will interfere with missions, because I can’t have you two arguing in the field.” Sarah told her frankly.

“It won’t be a problem.” Dusk answered although she ground her teeth as she said it.

“Good, I’d say that it’s time to sleep, I’ll see you all here tomorrow bright and early.” Sarah told the Pride who began to file out of the room.

“That went well.” Ethan said unexpectedly from behind her.

“How long have you been standing there?” Sarah asked as she turned around and saw Ethan leaning nonchalantly against the back wall of the room. He was wearing his Chinese stealth armor but he’d unzipped the hood and his face was grinning at Sarah.

“Oh you know, just long enough to hear how much Dusk loves me.” Ethan replied with a grin.

“Ethan don’t you dare start something on purpose.” Sarah told him with a glare.

“Me start something on purpose?” Ethan asked holding his hand against his chest in shock. “I would never start something on purpose Sarah.” He added with a smirk.

“Good otherwise I’ll hold your head in acid.” Sarah replied with a matching smirk.

***

“So how did your day go Tia?” Discord asked from where he lay next to her on the grass. They were in the same glade as before and the stars reflected off of the pool in distorted ripples as the water from the waterfall splashed down on them.

“Well let’s see, I learned far more than I ever wanted to about bug sex, I read a horrible book about vampires, and I had a mud wrestling match against my sister for the entertainment of the populace.” Celestia said as she dipped her forehoof into the pool.

“I watched the last one, nice form by the way.” Discord told her with a grin.

“Thanks snake.” She replied casually.

“Anytime horse.” Discord replied. They spent the next few minutes in silence listening to the waterfall until Discord broke the silence. “Tia, do you remember that one night under the full moon?” Discord asked her hesitantly.

“Which part, the part where we had mind destroying sex, or the part where my mother found us together and almost killed you?” Celestia asked with a slight smirk.

“I still say that she had no right to treat me like I was some streetrat defiling her perfect daughter. But no, that’s not the right night; I’m talking about the other one.” Discord told her.

“Oh that one…” Celestia said darkly before trailing off into silence. “It comes to mind every once in a while, I try not to think about it.”

“I suspect that the disappearance of Twilight Sparkle may somehow be connected to it.” Discord said and Celestia turned to stare at him.

“No, it can’t be; nothing from that night could possibly be connected to this!” Celestia said angrily.

“I’m just telling you my opinion Tia, now if you’ll excuse me I’m off to become king of the mole people.” Discord said before his incorporeal form sunk into the ground. Celestia put her face between her hooves and moaned; she’d never wanted to think about that particular night again…

Day 3 Part 1

Day 3 Part 1

Ethan woke up to the odd feeling of someone watching him. His eyes shot open and he found himself looking into the dark eyes of Obadiah Blackhall. The old man was sitting in a chair in front of Ethan’s bed with a dark look on his face.

“Ah, you’re awake.” Obadiah said simply. Instead of answering or replying Ethan pulled out his magnum and shot Obadiah in the face. The bullet passed through and impacted against the back wall of the room without so much as scratching the old man. Obadiah raised an eyebrow.

“It was worth a try.” Ethan replied with a shrug.

“Always so quick with the trigger, where is it?” Obadiah asked going straight to business.

“Where is what?” Ethan asked innocently.

“The book, you know very well what I want.” Obadiah said his voice hardening. “I have sealed us in and made it so that no one will think it odd that you aren’t where you should be. You are alone in this room with me until you reveal the location of The Krivbeknih. I will not harm you but I can wait a very long time.” Obadiah told him staring into Ethan’s eyes.

“If it lasts longer than four hours then you should call a doctor.” Ethan replied with a smirk.

“Ha, you have a surprising amount of knowledge about things you shouldn’t.” Obadiah told him with impassive gray eyes.

“Do I now, I have got to stop hanging out with the Pizza Lord.” Ethan replied with a grin.

“Ah, I see, that would explain much.” Obadiah said calmly. “You will give me The Krivbeknih.”

“No.” Ethan replied simply.

“You will give me The Krivbeknih”

“No.”

“You will give me The Krivbeknih”

“No.”

“You will give me The Krivbeknih”

“No”

“You will give me The Krivbeknih”

“No”

“You will give me The Krivbeknih”

“No”

“You will give me The Krivbeknih”

“No!”

“You will give me The Krivbeknih!”

This went on for what felt like hours, of course it could’ve been seconds, or minutes, or centuries and Ethan would never have known.

“You will give me The Krivbeknih!” Obadiah said.

“I’m not sure what you’re trying to do here Obadiah, but whatever it is it won’t work.” Ethan told him.

“Just tell me where The Krivbeknih is!” Obadiah said calmly. Suddenly with a flash of light Twilight Sparkle appeared, to Ethan’s considerable surprise her eyes were glowing purple as was her horn.

“Ethan, thank Celestia I thought you’d died!” Twilight said casting him a sideways glance.

“Thanks Sparky, I’m fine. This is Obadiah Blackhall.” Ethan said gesturing towards the old man sitting in the chair in front of him.

“Get away from Ethan.” Twilight growled (Ethan was rather shocked that unicorns could growl).

“He is in position of something that I hold very close in my heart, you trouble me little unicorn.” Obadiah told Twilight calmly.

“I am Twilight Sparkle student of Princess Celestia Goddess of the Sun, you are not welcome here dark one.” Celestia told Obadiah her eyes flashing.

“That doesn’t matter to me, he has my book.” Obadiah told Twilight not flinching in the least as the purple unicorn stared him down.

“What book?” Twilight asked slowly.

“The Krivbeknih; the thing that keeps the dark ones on the outside and keeps the swamp under control.” Obadiah replied simply.

“Explian.” Twilight said; her body was quivering with magical energy that was just waiting to be unleashed on the old man in front of her.

“I am a member of the Blackhall family. We’ve lived in Point Lookout for centuries minding the land and keeping the people of the land safe from the land. He stole The Krivbeknih, the book that we use to keep the land in check.” Obadiah told Twilight.

“Why do the people need to be protected from the land?” Twilight asked.

“Because Point Lookout has a very powerful and malevolent Genius Loci.” Obadiah told her, Twilight gasped and turned to Ethan in shock.

“Ethan do you know what you’ve done?!” She shouted.

“Not really?” Ethan said with a shrug.

“Exuse me for a second.” She politely told Obadiah who looked on in bemusement. “Ethan a Genius Loci is a place that is physically alive. To put that in perspective let’s say that the Capital Wasteland has a Genius Loci, every time you take a step the land senses it. Every time you kill something the land is aware that you killed it. And that isn’t all, a Genius Loci is capable of actually controlling the land that it inhabits! It could crush you with a building; it could summon a swarm of deathclaws. If it was really angry it could materialize in front of you and eat your soul!” Twilight shouted at him.

“I’m not giving it back?” Ethan told her calmly.

“Why in Celestia not Ethan?” Twilight asked in frustration.

“Only the fact that you’re agreeing that I should give an intensely powerful magic book back to a man who sacrifices live human beings.” Ethan replied calmly. Twilight turned to regard Obadiah again and her eyes narrowed.

“Are they necessary?” She asked simply.

“If they were not then I would not commit them.” Obadiah replied calmly.

“Ethan give him the book.” Twilight said turning to give Ethan and intense magical stare.

“Sparky I can’t believe this!” Ethan told her in annoyance.

“Ethan I believe him, he’s old, he’s tired, and most obvious is the fact that he’s guilty.” Twilight told Ethan calmly.

“How can you say that Twilight, look into his eyes!” Ethan said gesturing at the grey spheres.

“Ethan who is the magic unicorn?” Twilight asked him pointedly.

“You are, but Sparky he’s evil.” Ethan replied in frustration.

“He’s not, and you’re just going to have to believe me Ethan.” Twilight said gently. Ethan’s face twisted in indecision for a few minutes before he reached into his duster pocket and withdrew The Krivbeknih.

“I don’t trust you no matter what Sparky says, but I’m going to trust her on this.” Ethan said before he tossed The Krivbeknih to Obadiah. A look of serene pleasure washed over the old man’s face and he seemed to lose several of the years that had been weighing him down.

“Thank you.” The old man said simply before he vanished.

“I hope that you’re right about him Sparky, otherwise you’ve just handed an incredibly powerful dark wizard a book of immense power.” Ethan told Twilight who nodded.

“Ethan do you know where you are?” She asked him.

“Sitting in my bed?” Ethan asked.

“Actually no, you’re in the Citadel hospital, more specifically you’re inside your own mind. I awoke this morning to find you in a coma, it took four hours for me to breach the defenses that he’d put up around your mind. Ethan let me be very frank with you, if he was evil he would’ve had you hand him the book the exact second that he entered. Then he would’ve destroyed your mind with a thought and left you a mindless animal.” Twilight told him quietly, Ethan raised an eyebrow and scratched his chin.

“Are you sure Sparky?” He asked.

“Trust me.” Twilight replied.

“Okay then I trust you, now how do I wake up?” Ethan asked.

“You just do, see you in a few seconds Ethan.” Twilight said before she vanished in a flash of light. Ethan shrugged and lay back in his bed before shutting his eyes.

***

Ethan awoke to the comforting sounds of a heart monitor ticking next to his head. To be honest the fact that the sound of a heart monitor was comforting was a bit disturbing, then again if you were hearing the heart monitor that meant that you were alive.

“Welcome back to the world of the conscious my friend.” Elder Lyons said with a small grin on his face.

“We have got to stop meeting like this Owyn, it’s beginning to become a habit.” Ethan replied with a matching grin.

“So what is your next move?” Lyons asked Ethan as he helped Ethan to his feet.

“Twilight and I are going to be paying a visit to the mall, there’s an old friend who I need to talk to. He’s a good ferry man.” Ethan replied with a stretch.

“Are you sure that it is a good idea to take her into the Wastes?” Lyons asked with a frown on his face.

“No, to be honest it isn’t, but besides the mutants I’m also looking for a way to return her to her home and I can’t do that without her help.” Ethan told Lyons with a shrug.

“Do as you will then, keep in touch.” Lyons said with a sigh.

“Where is Sparky by the way?” Ethan asked.

“Standing impatiently outside the door pacing frantically no doubt.” Lyons said with a bemused smile.

“Hey Sparky stop wearing a hole in the floor and come in, I’m fine.” Ethan called. Twilight rushed in and gave Ethan a flying hug. “Wow, it’s been a while since I’ve been glomped.” Ethan said with a chuckle as he returned Twilight’s hug before setting her back on the ground.

“Heh, sorry but you’re one of my few friends here and I was worried that Obadiah had done actual damage to your mind.” Twilight said with a slight blush developing.

“Well I do have the sudden urge to have a pizza, but that’s unrelated.” Ethan said with a grin at Twilight’s absolutely bewildered expression. “Okay Sparky get your plasma rifle we’re heading out.” He told her with a smile.

“But you just…” Twilight began before shaking her head with a sigh. “There’s no point in arguing about this with you is there?” Twilight asked.

“Nope, now get your rifle and I’ll meet you out front.” Ethan replied with a grin. Twilight sighed and left the room.

“Take care of that girl Ethan, I like her.” Lyons said and Ethan smiled at him.

“She’ll be fine trust me, by the way I should be back within the next two or three days so keep a lookout.” Ethan told the older man who nodded and rubbed his chin thoughtfully.

“I don’t like this Ethan, I don’t like it at all and there’s not a damn thing I can do about it.” Lyons told Ethan with a weary sigh.

“Cheer up; at least your chapter didn’t waste dozens of lives on a pointless war like the ones out west did.” Ethan told the Elder.

“Yes at least our war hasn’t been pointless.” Lyons said dryly.

***

“So where are we going?” Twilight asked as they set off from the Citadel.

“We’re going to visit a ferry man, but in order to do that we’re going to have to take a walk through the metro.” Ethan told her as the concrete of the bridge crunched underneath his boots.

“A ferry man?” Twilight asked in confusion.

“Well that’s what I call him, he’s set up his own mercenary company and they might have a bit more info about the supermutants.”

“Do you have any idea how to get me back yet?” Twilight asked as she looked at the clear water of the bay.

“I’m working on it Sparky, don’t you worry I haven’t forgotten about you with all the excitement.” Ethan reassured her with a chuckle. “By the way Twilight you did read the Wasteland Survival Guide section on ghouls right?” Ethan asked her and she nodded.

“Yes, although I’m not really looking forward to meeting any.” Twilight replied.

“Well we’re going to be encountering both types, in other words we’re going to be shooting zombies in the face in the metro.” Ethan told her with a grin as he unslung his shotgun. To Twilight’s surprise it was a different shotgun then the one that he’d used earlier when they were clearing out the raiders. Its barrel was much longer and it lacked the circular drum.

“What happened to your other shotgun?” Twilight asked.

“I feel better killing zombies with this one, it’s my boomstick.” Ethan replied with a smile.

“So what makes it different?” Twilight asked in confusion.

“Well to be honest it’s a lot stronger but it takes longer to reload, it’s a lever-action shotgun meaning that it has to be reloaded manually feeding each shell into it instead of a magazine.” Ethan explained.

“I think I’ll stick with my plasma rifle.” Twilight said running her magic over the metallic beauty lovingly.

“Wow Twilight you’ve been here two days and you’re already attached to a gun, that’s good to hear.” Ethan told her with a grin. They were nearing the end of the bridge and they were walking down a street that seemed to have large foot like impressions driven into the concrete.

“Ethan why do I have the feeling that something large stepped here before us?” Twilight asked.

“Because this was one of the streets that I escorted Liberty Prime down on the way to the purifier.” Ethan told her with a chuckle.

“Liberty Prime?” Twilight asked in confusion.

“Giant robot who could throw small nuclear bombs like footballs and shot blue lasers out of its face capable of taking down a vertibird.” Ethan told her with another chuckle as he remembered tearing down the street next to the robot as it stepped on Enclave soldiers.

“You’re joking right?” Twilight asked.

“Nope, I miss that metal bastard.” Ethan replied with a sigh.

“What happened?” Twilight asked.

“The Enclave did the sensible thing and destroyed it from orbit.” Ethan told her. “Then I had to go and kill every last one of them so that they wouldn’t get away with killing my father.” Ethan said with another sigh. Then they came to around a curve and a new bridge came into sight, past the bridge sitting on a small clump of land was a ornate round building that seemed to be covered with pipes.

“What’s that Ethan?” Twilight asked as they walked along the bridge.

“That’s Project Purity…” Ethan said trailing off; his voice was both happy and sad.

“What does it do?” Twilight asked.

“It purifies the water in the bay and helps keep us all alive.” Ethan replied with a far off look in his as they step off the bridge and began to walk around the island.

“So why do you sound sad talking about it?” Twilight asked.

“I’m not sad, it’s just this is what my father lived for…and died for.” Ethan told her with a small shrug. “He never got to meet Cassie; he never got to see how much the Wasteland was changed for the better because of him. No instead he sacrificed himself in an effort to stop the Enclave that eventually failed.” Ethan said with a touch of bitterness entering his voice.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Twilight asked and Ethan laughed.

“You remind me of Cassie Twilight, she’s always asking me stuff like that, always trying to get me to move on. She’s a bit of a therapist.” Ethan told Twilight with a note of longing filling his voice.

“Why aren’t you with her more often?” Twilight asked and Ethan sighed.

“Because we both have responsibilities to our respective regions Sparky, she’s needed to run Vegas and I can’t bring myself to abandon my dad’s dream.” Ethan told her sadly as he waved at the leader of an outbound caravan.

“So you’re both stuck between an Ursa and a dragon?” Twilight asked.

“We say a rock and a hard place but I’m pretty sure that that sums it up nicely.” Ethan told her with a chuckle. “By the way we’re going to be passing Rivet City, try not to shit yourself.” He said as they rounded the final turn.

“What in Celestia?” Twilight asked as she looked at the old aircraft carrier.

“That’s Rivet City, I’d take you but we’re on schedule here and we’d get to many odd looks.” He told her as they walked past the giant ship.

“Since when has that bothered you?” Twilight asked but Ethan chuckled.

“You’re learning fast Sparky, but I’d rather not be interrogated again, not that it worked mind you, but I think Harkness is still kinda mad at me for breaking his man’s ribs.” Ethan told her.

“You broke a man’s ribs while he was questioning you, they must not be great a security.” Twilight said disdainfully.

“Well they had me handcuffed to a chair with my hands behind my back and my legs cuffed to the chair legs. To be honest if their guy hadn’t been stupid enough that he allowed me to get my teeth around his crotch…” Ethan said trailing off and spitting to the side at the memory.

“And here I thought your stable door didn’t swing that way.” Twilight said with a giggle.

“Har Har har Sparky. Anyways he had to get stitches along with the five cracked ribs so I don’t think that they’ll be too eager to try again but you never know.” Ethan replied with a shrug as they neared the entrance to the metro. “Okay Sparky this isn’t going to be all that fun for you, but keep close and blast anything that moves and you should be fine.” Ethan told her as he pushed open the chain link gate open and stepped inside.

***

“This was a terrible idea!” Twilight shouted as she shot a ghoul in the face with her plasma rifle.

“I can’t hear you over the sound of how much fun I’m having!” Ethan shouted back as he sent a ghoul flying with a blast of 20

gauge to the chest.

“They just keep coming; we must have killed eighty of them!” Twilight shouted back at him.

“Don’t worry they’ll run out sooner or later.” Ethan said with a chuckle as he reversed his grip on the shotgun and smashed a ghoul in the face which exploded in a shower of eyeballs and teeth. Twilight had backed into him and was currently firing repeatedly into a ghoul that just wouldn’t die.

“Ethan help me!” Twilight shouted over the din of combat. Ethan looked over his shoulder and saw that she was facing down a reaver.

“I got this one Sparky, watch my back.” Ethan said switching places with her and blasting the reaver in the chest.

As expected this didn’t cause the ghoul any actual problems. With an almost animalistic shout of excitement Ethan charged it holstering his shotgun and drawing a flaming sword. Ethan swept the flaming sword out and chopped one of the ghoul’s arms off in an explosion of blood and heat. The ghoul swung at him with the other arm but Ethan expertly blocked it and cut off that arm as well. The ghoul charged again but Ethan cut off its legs with an almost casual backhand cut. Still the ghoul came at him.

“What’re you going to do, bleed on me?” Ethan asked before he decapitated the silly ghoul. Twilight who had watched this had the odd urge to hit him but she didn’t know why.

***

“Ah still don’t get why we can’t find anythin.” Applejack said with a scowl as the five friends (plus Spike) rode the train back to Ponyville.

“Darling if neither Princess is capable of finding anything how were we supposed to?” Rarity asked rolling her eyes at her friend’s naiveté.

“Girls can we not argue?” Fluttershy asked softly.

“Sorry Shy, ah’m just frustrated that’s all.” Applejack said with a frown.

“It’s Twilight I’m sure she’s off exploring or helping someone save the day, you know the usual.” Pinkie said with a shrug (she didn’t know where Twilight was but she knew that if she died then her part in the story would most likely include being sad all the time so she had hope that the author wouldn’t kill Twilight to make the story more dramatic). Then Pinkie winked and smirked at the odd looks on her friends’ faces.

“Pinkie do you know something we don’t?” Dash asked.

“Nope.” Pinkie replied with a shrug before she pulled out a bag of popcorn and began to munch on it.

“You’re so random.” Dash said with a dismissive shake of her head before she turned back to the others and they restarted the conversation.

***

“Luna I just thought of something.” Celestia said at the breakfast table.

“What is it Tia?” Luna asked.

“Well you can travel into dreams right?” Celestia asked.

“Yes…” Luna said before hitting herself in the face with a hoof. “By Faust I’m in idiot.” Luna said with a sigh.

Day 3 Part 2

Day 3 part 2

Luna breathed deeply and sent her mind out into the world of dreams. The world of dreams appeared as a windswept brown plane. Scattered haphazardly around the never ending plane were glowing portals that led into different dreams. Luna couldn’t pick out Twilight’s signature so she decided to look for strong sources of magical power instead. Her mental radar was quickly filled with possible candidates and with a sigh she chose the nearest. Luna looked around and found herself standing in a darkly lit alley. She heard the sound of cars rushing by and the stench of garbage rotting all around her.

“Hells bells!” A man exclaimed. Luna whirled to find herself facing a man in a leather duster carrying a staff. “Who are you and what’re you doing in my head?” The man asked her brandishing his staff.

“My apologies, I’m looking for a friend and I seem to have taken the wrong door.” Luna said with a sad sigh. The man looked conflicted for a few seconds then his face softened.

“I’m a wizard and a part time detective maybe I can help.” The man offered but Luna only shook her head.

“Thank you sir, but this is something that I have to do by myself; although if you see a talking purple unicorn named Twilight Sparkle tell her that Princess Luna is looking for her.” Luna told the man who nodded.

“I’m Harry Dresden; I’ll keep an eye for any purple unicorns I happen to run across.” The man in the duster told her.

“Thanks.” Luna replied before she exited the same way that she’d come.

Luna looked for another portal on the plain and headed towards it not in the least bit discouraged. She looked around herself and discovered that she was in a dark room nearby she spotted a window and took a few seconds to peer out it. To her shock she saw nothing but desolate wasteland.

“By Celestia’s great flaming solar tits!” A voice from behind her shouted. Luna turned to see a mare with a brown mane and an odd boxy cutie mark looking at her in shock. “It’s just a dream, I’m dreaming about Princess Luna showing up in Homage’s bedroom that’s all it is…” The mare said to herself.

“Umm… I apologize for interrupting your dream, I’m looking for a unicorn named Twilight Sparkle, have you seen her by any chance?” Luna asked.

“By Luna’s icy cunt it’s not a dream!” The mare shouted.

“I wouldn’t call it icy, but have you seen her?” Luna asked.

“Technically I killed her, but I don’t think she was the one you were looking for…” The mare said rubbing the back of her head awkwardly.

“Was she always naturally occurring in your timeline?” Luna asked.

“Um yeah, look would you go I was having a really really good dream?” The mare asked and Luna chuckled.

“Of course, have fun.” Luna winked before vanishing. Littlepip stood there for a few seconds before shrugging and going back to the bed, the night was young and she wasn’t even at 20 yet.

Luna found herself back on the plane and marked off another portal from the list, for some reason she had the feeling that this was going to be a long process…

***

“Remind me again why I’m out here with you.” Twilight said in annoyance as they walked once more into the sunlight of the Capital Wasteland.

“Because otherwise the scribes would’ve lobotomized you by now.” Ethan replied with a grin.

“Oh right, I forgot about that.” Twilight said with a frown as she holstered her plasma rifle. “So where are we anyways?” She asked.

“We’re currently right outside the natural history museum located in the Washington mall.” Ethan told her as they walked up the cracked wooden steps.

“Ethan, is that a fucking purple unicorn?” A scratchy female voice asked from behind them causing Twilight to jump in surprise.

“Yep sure it Willow.” Ethan replied with a grin as he walked towards the ghoul woman.

“Oh good I thought I was high…” Willow said with a bark of laughter. “Well come over and say hello, it’s not every day that I meet a unicorn!” Willow shouted to Twilight who was standing a few feet away looking at Willow with an odd look. “I’m not going to eat you, stupid tourist.” Willow told Ethan who chuckled.

“Don’t be too hard on Sparky, she just got here two days ago, and by just got here I mean that she had never heard of the Wasteland before. As in she’s from a different dimension.” Ethan told Willow whose face softened slightly.

“I’m not going to bite you, and it would probably be better if you got used to ghouls out here instead of inside.” Willow told Twilight who nodded slowly and walked forward close enough to get a wiff of Willow. Her face went slightly green and Willow chuckled. “Yeah I’m a moving corpse; I don’t smell all that great.”

“It’s not that noticeable.” Twilight said while trying and failing to keep her voice polite. Willow laughed a bit more before extending her hand to shake Twilight’s hoof. Twilight accepted the shake and her face got a little greener at the squishing noise and the touch of two hundred year old dead skin. Ethan for his part snickered.

“You’re alright for a smoothskin Sparky; you’re welcome in Underworld.” Willow told Twilight with a small smile.

“Thank you.” Twilight said nicely before she turned to Ethan who led her towards the door.

“Not bad Sparky; although I’d try and hold onto my breakfast if I were you, the only food that I’ve got on me are some brahmin stakes and I know you don’t want them.” Ethan told her as they entered the museum. To Twilight’s surprise the second that they entered the museum Ethan was hoisted off of his feet and into a hug by a towering green/orange creature.

“Ethan you are back! It is good to see you again my friend!” The large supermutant said before setting Ethan back on the ground.

“Fawkes it’s good to see you to.” Ethan said with a grin. “Sparky this is Fawkes; he’s a friend of mine.”

“Hello?” Twilight said offering her hoof to the looming supermutant who took it readily and gave it a single gentle shake.

“Hello to you as well Sparky, I must say that I haven’t met many unicorns in my time.” Fawkes told her with a grin.

“And I haven’t met many mutants who want to talk to me in my time.” Twilight replied and Fawkes gave a little chuckle.

“Yes that does seem to be a problem around here doesn’t it?” He asked with smile before turning back to Ethan. “So my friend what brings you to underworld?”

“I’m here to see the ferry man and his merry crew.” Ethan replied with a smile.

“My friend one day your humor is going to get you shot.” Fawkes told him with a flat look.

“Well then he should change his name because my nickname is technically accurate.” Ethan replied smugly, Fawkes sighed (Twilight had been noticing a trend of Ethan saying things and people sighing).

“They are in the usual place, I wish I could accompany you but I am guarding the door in case any of my brothers feel the urge to study history.” Fawkes said with a shrug before he pulled an absolutely massive rectangular device off of his back. Twilight stared (it was as long as she was!)

“Have fun.” Ethan said with a wink before he led Twilight away from the mutant and into a large open area then instead of heading for the door straight ahead he headed for the door on the left.

“This part of the museum used to be abandoned till I cleaned it out, then a friend of mine set up his own group of mercenaries; I think you’ll like them.” Ethan said with a grin as he pushed the door open. They were met by a comically dressed ghoul wearing the oddest poncho and a sombrero sitting behind a desk.

“Is that a unicorn?” The ghoul asked.

“Ella sí que es un unicornio!” Ethan said giving the ghoul a grin.

“That was terrible; I still don’t know why the boss married you.” The ghoul said rolling his eyes.

“Because I’m the baddest son of a bitch in the wastes, also I have pretty eyes apparently.” Ethan told the ghoul with a smile.

“So is the ferry man himself in?” Ethan asked.

“Yes he’s in the cafeteria with Nikita and Doc.” The ghoul said jerking his head to the left.

“Thanks Raul.” Ethan replied with a grin as he headed towards the cafeteria. Twilight followed after him and Raul tipped his hat at her before returning his gaze to the door. As they walked towards the door Twilight heard loud voices conversing.

“So there we were our backs against the wall, there were mutants everywhere and Nikita turns to me and he asks me if my new drug is safe. I say ‘of course not!’ then we slaughtered every one of them. It was a good day.” A thin accented voice said happily.

“It was quite fun experience; I cannot believe that you missed it boss!” A much deeper accented voice agreed.

“I was busy.” Came the calm response as Ethan pushed the door open.

“Hey Ferry Man meet Sparky the unicorn.” Ethan said with a smile as he gestured towards Twilight who was doing her best not to stare at the three ghouls sitting around a table. One was tall and thin wearing a slightly stained white doctor’s coat while another was a truly huge man who towered over the one in white even while sitting down. Finally a tall ghoul in black combat armor strapped across his back was a large shotgun.

“Ethan, what do you need?” The third ghoul asked with a slight groan before he grumbled something.

“Oh stop the grumbling Charon; I’m just here to see if you have any information on the supermutant movements.” Ethan said with a smile.

“They’ve withdrawn from the most of their outposts around the city and are massing in the capital building for an attack (most likely the Citadel) but I can’t confirm anything besides that.” Charon replied simply.

“Do you by any chance know any way to transport Sparky here back to where she belongs?” Ethan asked but Charon shook his head.

“No, it’s not my area of expertise. Sorry” Charon replied with a shrug.

“It’s fine Charon, by the way have you heard anything from Riley lately?” Ethan asked the ghoul who nodded.

“Yeah she was in a few days ago complaining that I was stealing business, and then we had a beer together.” Charon said with a dry chuckle.

“Yeah she’s like that.” Ethan said with a grin. “So how’s business been since I stopped by two weeks ago?” Ethan asked.

“Not bad, nothing extraordinary, here’s your cut by the way.” Charon said tossing Ethan a bag of caps. To Twilight’s surprise Ethan chuckles and tossed it back to the ghoul who grimaced.

“Charon you earned this money, use it.” Ethan said firmly.

“You still own my contract and are thus entitled to a percentage of any money that I earn even when not directly under your supervision.” Charon replied.

“Yes but I’m rich. Now if you find new advanced tech then I fully expect to be first in line, but as far as caps go I’m set, so keep them.” Ethan said told the ghoul who scowled but sighed and returned the caps to his pocket.

“As you wish, is there anything else you need?” Charon asked.

“Do you have any snack cakes? I think Sparky’s hungry and I know she doesn’t like steak.” Ethan asked and the ghoul chuckled before motioning towards the extremely large ghoul who got up and headed towards the fridge placed at the back of the room.

“I would give her amazing sandvich, but sadly we are out of bread.” The large ghoul said with a very sad sigh as he handed Twilight a container of snack cakes.

“Thank you sir.” Twilight replied respectfully.

“Sir, I like the sound of that!” The ghoul said with a smile.

“Oh no, she’s given him ideas again!” The tall ghoul said in exasperation.

“Could you two excuse us please?” Charon asked the other two ghouls who nodded and left the room. “Ethan, why do you have a unicorn following you?” Charon asked.

“Because she needs me.” Ethan said simply and Charon groaned.

“Always with the dames…”

***

“Luna you look awful, what happened out there?!” Celestia asked as her sister flashed into existence. Her mane was ratty and her fur was patched and covered in soot along with many other different stains.

“Get me some wine!” Luna said tiredly and Celestia quickly produced some from a nearby cabinet and levitated a bottle and glass over to her sister. To the elder Princess’s surprise the younger merely set the glass down and instead drank half of the bottle without stopping. “Ah, much better.” Luna said with a relived sigh.

“I take it that things didn’t go well?” Celestia asked and Luna chuckled.

“Tia do you realize how many universes I have access to, because I’d guessed a few hundred?” Luna asked “As it turns out I can access several million different universes.” Luna added and her right eye twitched slightly.

“Luna are you okay?” Celestia asked hesitantly.

“Not really sister, I’ve had a hell of a day.” Luna said whipping sweat from her forehead with a hoof.

“I mean do you need medical attention?” Celestia asked but Luna shook her head.

“No I’m fine physically minus a few bruises.” Luna said with a sigh.

“I take it you ran into a few versions of Nightmare Moon out there?” Celestia asked and Luna nodded.

“Yes I did but they weren’t the worst, the worst were the versions of you sister.” Luna said with a slight shudder.

“What do you mean?” Celestia asked quietly.

“Well the nicest one that I found molested me.” Luna said frankly and Celestia winced.

“I’m so sorry Luna.” Celestia told her sister who shrugged.

“Turns out that she’s actually pretty nice besides the whole molesting thing, actually it’s thanks to her that I didn’t end up in any of the really bad places.” Luna replied with a tired sigh. “Look I’m sorry but I couldn’t find our Twilight Sparkle out there anywhere and I’m not trying again.”

“It’s alright sister I understand.” Celestia told her sister patting her on the back gently.

“Thanks sister, now if you’ll excuse me I’m sure my guards are frantic.” Luna said before teleporting away with a flash. Celestia sighed; it looked like Twilight was going to be lost for a little while longer.

Day 3 Part 3

Day 3 part 3

Cassandra sat at a familiar round table with the sound of a man singing distantly flickering in the back of her mind. Sitting next to her was The King, she’d come here seeking his counsel. To be honest The King was one of the few people (outside of those who followed her) she actually trusted.

“So the legion boys think that they can move in while you’re out chasing ghosts?” The King asked.

“That’s the only thing I can think of. They know that I don’t trust Benny and that I’ll disbelieve anything that he says. So they’ll want me to realize that and stay here, but if they know that I’ll think that then they’ll actually be doing something important out there which means that I’ll have to go and deal with it which means that they’ll try and do something when I’m gone. In other words I’m dammed if I do and dammed if I don’t.” Cassandra said furrowing her brow.

“I wish I could give you something to lay your mind at ease, but I can’t think of anything.” The King said with a frown touching his face. Before the conversation could go any farther there was a commotion at the door. Pacer walked in.

“Boss, there’s some NCR puke out here demanding to talk to the Courier, should I shoot her?” Pacer asked with a hopeful grin, The King sighed and turned to Cassandra who shrugged.

“Bring her in, it’s not like my life can get even more complicated.” Cassandra sighed. A woman in NCR officers clothing walked into the room and eyed Cassandra and The King warily. The woman’s blonde hair was cut far longer than most women in the military and fell behind her in a long ponytail. Her blue eyes darted around the room taking in all the possible threats, her eyes stayed on Cassandra the longest (for obvious reasons).

“I’m General Susan Murphy; I need to talk to the Courier.” She said calmly. Cassandra looked her over again and noticed that her uniform was indeed that of a general’s (albeit one that was stained with the dust of the road).

“A female general in the NCR, color me impressed.” Cassandra said with an archly raised eyebrow, Susan smiled back at her thinly.

“I worked hard for this position Ma’am, something that I’m sure you of all women appreciate.” She said taking the seat next to Cassandra offered by The King.

“I wasn’t mocking you, just those you represent.” Cassandra replied and received a nod from Susan. “So tell me what brings you to me?”

“I’ve been sent to oversee the construction of a new fort in the Vegas area and I’ve been told that that is impossible without your signature.” Susan said calmly. “Oh and I wanted to compliment you on your treatment of General Oliver, he’s an ass.” She added and her lips twitched into a genuine smile.

“I did enjoy strapping a bungee cord to his leg and throwing him off the damn, although personally I liked shooting him with the BB gun while he was like that more.” Cassandra agreed with a smirk.

“Trust me you got nothing but good sentiments from the act, but what about the fort?” Susan asked bringing the conversation back to the matter at hand.

“Where would this fort be located?” Cassandra asked calmly.

“In a canon north of Goodsprings.” Susan answered confidently. Cassandra looked at her for a few seconds to see whether or not she was joking, the General kept a straight face.

“Are you insane?” Cassandra asked startling the General.

“Not at the moment.” Susan replied with a shrug.

“You are aware that that entire canyon is full of Cazadors aren’t you?” Cassandra asked and the General shrugged.

“They’re just bugs.”

“Yeah and deathclaws are only lizards.” Cassandra replied archly.

“Be that as it may the canyon controls a direct route to Vegas; with it safe we can make money off of trade and protect the populace of Goodsprings.” Susan said.

“Well I can’t really see a reason against it as long as you remember that any active service men not on leave will be shot on sight by the securitrons.” Cassandra told the General who nodded respectfully.

“Of course Ma’am.’ She said hopping to her feet and giving Cassandra a salute.

“I’m not your superior officer, but thanks.” Cassandra said. “Now you’d better go before Pacer tries to kill you.” She added with a small smirk.

“Perish the thought.” The General replied with a chuckle.

***

Celestia sat on her bed once again reading a book, this one was about a pony’s dreams to go into the wild and live off the land. She was bored; then again she was always bored. The change was that it was Saturday and there would be no report from Twilight to help break up the monotony. Luna had already gone to bed leaving Celestia no one immortal to talk to besides Discord and she didn’t want to fall back into that particular habit…again. So instead she put her book down and turned to review some of the requests for aid from the citizens of Equestria.

The first was a pony asking her what the kingdom’s zombie plan was. Celestia sighed, for some reason ponies just didn’t understand the fact that if word ever got out of a zombie infestation then he zombie plan would’ve already failed. If such a horrible event were to ever occur then Celestia and Luna would (with heavy hearts) cleanse the infected area with fire until there was nothing left but ash, survivors be damned.

She turned to the next one, some intelligent pony wanted to know what would happen if vampires attacked. Luna would don a black cowl and head to the place of the attacks. She would then kill absolutely everypony there in as bloody a way as possible to cover up her secret shame at having created vampires in the first place. The next one was about werewolves, Celestia facehoofed her guards must have been feeding her the things to distract her. The Equestrian Werewolf Association was fully capable of looking after their own and they certainly wouldn’t appreciate the help of either princess. She moved onto the next item on the list and groaned loudly, it was about the income tax!

“Is there something that you need your Majesty?” One of her personal guards asked peeking his head into the room.

“A large chocolate cake, a large bottle of wine, and a team of mares to ravish me.” Celestia said with a sigh, the stallion chuckled.

“I’ll see what I can do about the first two your Majesty.” He replied, from outside the door she heard the other guard chuckling as well.

“Thanks Artos, be a dear and kick Rudy in the shin for me.” Celestia said with a smirk as she heard the other stallion yelp in surprise. At least there was something good about being a Princess… Oh and the cake was good too.

***

“Alright Sparky we’re heading out.” Ethan told the unicorn who looked at the gathering darkness apprehensively.

“Are you sure Ethan, it’s getting dark?” Twilight asked.

“Sparky if you don’t know how to fight in the dark then you’re as good as dead. Now remember your pipboy will show you any enemies as long as you’re looking in their direction. They can still sneak up on you if you aren’t paying attentions so watch out.” Ethan told her with a smile as he pushed open the doors of the museum and they began their sojourn into the night.

“Alright Sparky we’re going to the Capital Building, the mutants always use it as a staging point and I can’t think of any better place for them to prepare to assault the Citadel from.” Ethan said pointing at the large domed building.

“So you’re bringing me to what is probably the biggest concentration of enemy forces in the region…” Twilight said slowly.

“Yep.” Ethan replied with a grin, Twilight shrugged.

“What could possi-” She began but was stopped by Ethan’s hand clamping her mouth shut.

“You NEVER say that Sparky! Remember what I said about grenades? It’s just asking the wasteland to bitchslap you!” Ethan told her sternly before releasing her jaws.

“Sorry.” Twilight said in a small voice, her face looked suddenly pale and Ethan thought he saw a familiar freighted look cross her face.

“You know what, I’ve decided that we won’t go tonight, we’ll room with the Brotherhood at the Monument.” Ethan told her with a chuckle and Twilight’s face immediately regained its normal shade of purple.

“Thanks Ethan.” She said quietly.

“I’ll teach you about night fighting later, although we may still have to kill a few muties on the way.” He told her but Twilight just nodded and followed him as he set a rapid pace across the mostly destroyed wasteland. To Ethan’s surprise the short mare ate up the distance and easily kept up with despite his longer legs. They were a few feet from the doorway of the Monument when a supermutant popped out of the trench.

“Surprise!” It shouted before opening up on Ethan with a Chinese assault rifle. Ethan took the bullets without comment and drew his shotgun. He pulled the trigger once and sent a load of buckshot into the mutant’s face shredding it completely.

“Game over!” Another mutant shouted as it ran in from Ethan’s blind side. Twilight turned and began to rapidly fire her plasma rifle unfortunately all but two of shots missed and they were only grazes. Twilight stopped to reload and the supermutant grabbed her in one meaty hand. “Fresh meat!” It shouted ecstatically as it squeezed her throat.

Twilight struggled futilely against it for a few second before leveling her horn with its head and sending out a very slim concentrated wave of force. A large hole appeared directly through the front of the mutant’s face and it dropped Twilight to the ground with a thud, not before of course her face and mane got covered in its hot blood (that would be too much to ask of the Wasteland). Before she knew what was happening someone was dragging her away from the mutant onslaught that was pouring out of the trench.

“Guys open the door it’s Ethan!” Ethan shouted over his shoulder. The metallic doors slid open easily and Ethan threw Twilight inside hopping that she wouldn’t be hurt by the fall. “Shut them I’ll be right in front.” He called over his shoulder and the doors immediately slid shut. Ethan turned to confront the supermutants of whom there were close to 20. A grim smile slid onto his face, they’d hurt Twilight, now he was going to annihilate them. With the Novasurge in one hand and the Blackhawk in the other Ethan charged the mutants.

The first time he pulled the trigger of the plasma pistol a glowing green light arced out and slammed into an approaching supermutant master’s head reducing him to glowing goo. A line of Chinese assault rifle rounds slammed into his chest but his duster stopped them cold while Ethan returned fire with the Blackhawk smashing in the skull of the closest mutant. His choice of weaponry wasn’t really a very smart choice considering the close quarters (also using a magnum one handed hurt like a bitch) so after he’d killed a few more of the mutants he swapped them for his shiskibab.

A master wielding a super sledge charged him and Ethan ducked under the mutant’s swing before stabbing the flaming point of his sword into the mutant’s chest and executing it with a quick downward slash. He pulled away from the mutant in time to meet the next mutant’s normal sledgehammer, with a simple stoke he cut the shaft of the hammer in half before kicking it the kneecap forcing it to crouch in pain. Ethan removed its head with a simple stroke and turned to the next mutant who had somehow managed to find a bumper sword.

Ethan jumped backwards avoiding a blow meant to cut him in two. The mutant wielding the bumper sword was none other than a Nightkin overlord. The giant blue mutant glared down at Ethan eagerly, to Ethan’s surprise the other mutants had fallen back. Ethan smiled, he always liked mook chivalry.

“Sup?” Ethan asked casually as he and the mutant circled each other.

“I have ORDERS to take you ALIVE!” The mutant shouted.

“Well that makes things interesting don’t it?” Ethan asked with a grin as he feinted to the left.

The mutant ignored the feint. The mutant bull rushed Ethan but Ethan slapped its sword aside long before the mutant had reached him and sidestepped allowing the mutant to pass by him harmlessly. With practiced ease Ethan slashed his blade at the ankles of the mutant as it thundered past and to his pleasure he got a violent scream for his efforts. The mutant turned to confront Ethan its glare was filled with even more intense hatred then before.

“Do you know what I don’t like about you mutants?” Ethan asked the hulking blue mutant as it growled at him unintelligibly. “Your whole philosophy, you could do so much good but instead you waste-” While Ethan had been talking he’d been paying careful attention to the mutant’s movements and he interrupted himself long enough to block the downward swing. If his bones hadn’t been reinforced he was pretty sure that the arm would’ve been broken. “Hey I was monologing!” Ethan protested before blocking another stroke by the mutant.

“I do not CARE!” The mutant screamed at him before it committed itself to a frontal charge.

Ethan stood stock still; he needed to time this perfectly. Just as the mutant reached him Ethan sidestepped to the right and brought his blade down on the bumper sword right where the blade met the shaft. With a high pitched whine the flaming sword cut through the weak metal and the blade of the bumper sword fell to the ground with a clang. Without hesitating a second Ethan stepped forward and plunged the flaming sword into the Nightkin overlord’s cavernous chest. When the blade was yanked out of his hands by the struggling mutant Ethan calmly drew his shotgun off of his back and open fired point blank into the mutant’s head obliterating it in a shower of red mist.

With his free hand he jerked the flaming sword out of the dead mutant’s chest and one handedly snapped off a shot of buckshot into an approaching mutant’s chest before pivoting and driving the sword into another mutant’s neck. Then he ducked a mutant’s clumsy swing and dropped into VATS. Time froze around him and he took a moment to appreciate how fucked anyone but himself and three others would be at this point.

There were still around twelve supermutants left but thanks to VATS he knew he would win this handily. He allotted one action point into shooting the mutant standing next to him in the leg. Then he placed a sword point into the next closest mutant’s chest before finally selecting a third mutant’s head with the shotgun. He finished the VATS selection and with practiced ease allowed the technology to take over his body. He blasted the closest mutant’s kneecaps off causing it to fall to the ground in a bloody heap. Before the first body had hit the ground he was stabbing the next mutant in the chest with the flaming sword. The he pivoted and shot the third mutant’s head off, god dammit that hurt his wrists.

He was left with nine more supermutants to take care of. The mutants however were looking at each other in fear. Not one to let the enemy get away Ethan charged. He’d holstered the shotgun and instead drew his trusty shock sword. The first mutant’s head was cut off with an arc of electricity. The next had its arm cut off by a flaming blade before being kicked to the ground. The third tried to raise its super sledge in defense but Ethan simply beat it away with pure strength before plunging both blades into the mutant’s neck and decapitating it.

The fourth died before it knew what was happening one second it was charging the human the next its intestines were spilling out of its stomach. He killed the fifth and the sixth with one slash each. The seventh and eighth charged him but he avoided their blades and stabbed them both in the stomach simultaneously. The last one began to run but it only got a few yards before Ethan jumped forward and stabbed the shock sword into its back. He whipped his blades clean before making his way back to the monument. The doors opened immediately and he rushed through to be confronted by a young initiate tending to Twilight’s wounds.

“How bad?” Ethan asked.

“She’ll have some bruising around the throat for a day or so but besides that she’s fine. Although I never studied equine anatomy so I could be missing something” The initiate said with a shrug. Ethan nodded and then lowered himself down to one knee next to Twilight who was looking at him her eyes wide.

“You okay Sparky?” Ethan asked, she nodded and gestured at her throat before giving Ethan a hard glance.

“Oh right, sorry Sparky.” Ethan said with a good-natured chuckle. “God I could eat a whole brahmin!” Ethan exclaimed happily as he turned to the knight sitting behind the desk who was staring at him in shock. “What?” Ethan asked noiselessly the Knight gestured towards a small viewscreen. Ethan peered at it and to his surprise he saw his battle against the mutants taking place on the screen.

“Sir what you did out there was impossible!” The knight said trying to control his voice.

“I’m the Lone Wanderer kid.” Ethan replied with a smile (the irony that the knight was at least ten years older than he was wasn’t lost upon either of the two). “You wouldn’t mind giving to travelers a bed to sleep in, or a fridge loaded with food would you?” Ethan asked with a grin.

“They’re all yours, sir.” The knight replied curtly.

“Excellent!” Ethan replied with a smile.

Day 4 part 1

Day 4 Part 1

“Morning Sparky.” Ethan said with a grin as he poked Twilight in the side gently. She groaned.

“Spike give me a few more minutes.” Twilight rasped (her voice still hadn’t recovered from the bruising that she’d gotten the other day)

“Spike? Well I didn’t want to do this but…” Ethan said hefting a bucket that he’d filled with water.

“Ethan if you dump that on me I swear to Celestia that I’ll throw you all the way to Megaton.” Twilight said opening her eyes. Ethan chuckled and put the water bucket on the ground for Twilight.

“I was joking Sparky, I brought the water in case you were thirsty or in case you wanted to wash the blood off of your face.” Ethan told her passing her a mirror, Twilight yelped in surprise. She hadn’t had the energy to do much last night besides fall into bed and both her face and her mane were covered in dried blood.

“I look like shit.” Twilight rasped as she noticed the large bruises around her throat.

“Well at least you have a nice ass.” Ethan said with a grin as Twilight stared at him incredulously (her face had turned scarlet). “Joking Sparky, I’m married remember.” Ethan told her with a smirk.

“Ethan…” Twilight said absolutely unable to think of something to say.

“Take your time, I’ll meet you in the main area and you can eat. Then we go to the capital building and find out just what the hell is going on.” Ethan told her before waving and walking out of the small bed room.

Twilight quickly began to clean her face and mane with the cold water and she shivered slightly as it rolled down her spine. Then with a surprising amount of deftness she quickly got into her armor. Finally she took apart her plasma rifle and cleaned each individual part the way Ethan had taught her while they were staying in the Citadel. With a satisfied nod she slung the rifle over her shoulder and walked out of the bedroom to find Ethan sitting at a small round table munching on something. The knight from last night and the initiate were with him.

“You look much better Sparky.” Ethan said with a grin. “Oh yeah Sparky I want you to meet Knight Lance and Initiate Tony.” Ethan said gesturing to the two Brotherhood members.

“Hi.” Twilight said taking the seat next to Ethan.

“Morning Ma’am.” Knight Lance said giving her a small smile before turning back to some manual he was reading.

“Yo.” Initiate Tony said with a grin which got him a slightly dirty look from the Knight.

“Here Twilight have a carrot.” Ethan said tossing her one. Twilight eyed it in shock; she’d been under the impression that she’d be eating century old (or mutated) food for the duration of her stay in the Wasteland.

“Is this fresh?” Twilight asked looking at the carrot uncertainly.

“Is the space pope reptilian?” Initiate Tony asked with a grin.

“No but he’s ugly as hell.” Ethan replied with a chuckle. “Don’t worry Twilight that carrot’s from the hydroponics lab in Rivet City, one hundred percent unmutated and fresh.” Ethan added. Twilight sniffed the carrot, and upon finding nothing amiss she bit into it. Twilight’s eyes widened as the taste of fresh carrot washed across her taste buds before she quickly demolished the carrot.

“And here I thought you were a lesbian.” Ethan joked.

“Please tell me there’s more.” Twilight rasped.

“Sorry Sparky they’re expensive and I can’t drain this outpost of all its best food.” Ethan told her with a shrug. Twilight pouted but gave up with a sigh.

“Can I have something else to eat then?” She asked.

“Have some two century old apple cakes.” Ethan replied and handed her a box of Dandy Boys Apples. Twilight looked at the small red things in front of her in annoyance for a second before popping on into her mouth.

“So Ethan what’s our plan for the day?” She asked around a mouthful of cakes (for some reason the longer she was in the wasteland the less things like that mattered to her).

“Well we’re traveling across the broken and half destroyed trenches heading towards the capital building, all the while killing whatever mutants decide to try and stop us.” Ethan told her with a smile.

“Oh is that all?” Twilight asked dryly.

“Yeah, the normal stuff.” Ethan replied then he turned to Knight Lance. “By the way can I have a copy of the recording from last night?”

“Sure, I’ll go get you one.” Lance replied with a shrug as he went over to the computer and began to hit a few buttons, he returned a few seconds later with a white tape which he handed to Ethan.

“Thanks, alright Sparky are you ready to go?” Ethan asked, Twilight nodded and got out of her chair. “Well boys thanks for letting us crash with you; I’d recommend keeping the door locked.” Ethan said swinging to his feet and heading towards the door, Twilight followed. Once the doors behind them had closed Ethan pulled out an unfamiliar gun. It was long and had a scope on it but it was oddly boxy and had a small crank attached to the side.

“What’s that Ethan?” Twilight asked as she looked at the rifle.

“Good question Sparky. This is my modified gauss rifle.” Ethan told her.

“Gauss rifle?” Twilight asked.

“Yeah it uses magnets.” Ethan told her.

“How?” She asked.

“They’re magnets who the fuck knows? Na I’m kidding, it uses magnets to propel pieces of metal down the barrel at extreme speed that travel until they impact against something.” Ethan told her with a grin. Twilight’s eyes lit up with questions but Ethan shushed her quickly. “Here’s the plan. I’m going to clear our way with this baby, and you’re going to watch my back while I look down scope.”

“Alright I can do that, what about when we make it to the capital building?” Twilight asked.

“We kick in the doors and kill everything we meet.” Ethan replied with a smirk.

“Really, that’s your plan?” Twilight asked sarcastically.

“You’d be surprised at how good that plan works.” Ethan told her with another smirk. Twilight rolled her eyes and Ethan sighed. “Fine have it your way. We kick in the doors lay down surprising fire, clear each section of the building room by room, then once we’re done we plant explosives in front of the doors and walk away as they explode dramatically.” Ethan said with a large smile.

“That sounds better, except for the last part.” Twilight replied as they stepped forward.

“Alright fine, no explosions; kill joy.” Ethan told her as he brought the scope of his rifle up to eyelevel and sank into a crouch.

There was a thunderous boom and a supermutant’s head exploded in a shower of gore. The mutants around it looked about in confusion as they began to explode. Twilight turned away from the show and began to scan the trenches around them for any approaching mutants. She was in luck (or maybe lacking in it depending on how you look at it) and a supermutant came running out of the trench next to her screaming holding a sledgehammer high.

Twilight’s plasma rifle flash twice and the mutant stumbled backwards clutching at its chest. Then it charged again and Twilight sent another two blasts into it. The mutant turned into a slightly luminescent pile of green goo a few feet away from her. Twilight sighed with relief and reloaded the rifle (she didn’t need to, but to her OCD centric mind you couldn’t just leave the one quarter spent cell inside).

Another mutant charged out of the trench this one holding an assault rifle. Twilight activated the still unfamiliar VATS function on the pipboy and lined up four head shots (they were 85%) then she released the tech and watched as in slow motion as her plasma rifle shots barreled into the mutant’s face. The mutant’s face exploded as the second ball hit it with a small burst of blood (the blood of course managed to find its way into Twilight’s mane).

“You almost done Ethan?” Twilight asked not turning to look.

“Almost, it looks like Talon Company is making another attempt to take the place. It should make things more interesting.” He replied as the rifle roared again.

“What do you mean?” Twilight asked as her rifle blasted another supermutant. Much to her chagrin four out of her eight shots missed completely as her TK field wavered slightly but she still turned the mutant to a pile of goo.

“Well Talon Company is always trying to regain control of the capital building, but this time the majority of their force is outfitted with miniguns and a few assault rifles from out west. In other words they’re actually putting up a fight, which unusual.” He said before reducing a very confused supermutant to a fine red paste. Behind him Twilight killed another mutant and suddenly a little light began to glow on her pipboy.

“Ethan what does this little light mean?” Twilight asked, Ethan took a second to turn away from the scope and looked at Twilight’s pipboy before turning back to the scope.

“That means you’re ready to level up Sparky.” Ethan told her. “Every time you kill something you get theoretical experience. The pipboy tracks that experience and once you’ve killed enough things it tells you that you can level up. Then using its tech (please don’t ask me how I haven’t a clue) it lets you distribute the experience into different parts of your brain to make you better at those things. Oh and it lets you pick a perk that subconsciously unlocks a part of your brain that slowly mutates your body in the way you desire.” Ethan told her, Twilight stared at him, his back was turned but from her silence he guessed the expression. “I’d close your mouth or else an eyebot will fly in.” He told her before sending a supermutant’s torso flying away from its lower body.

“That’s impossible!” Twilight said (well shouted really).

“Like I said I don’t know how they do it, all I know is that it’s awesome.” Ethan told her. Twilight turned away from Ethan and pressed the button.

Her world was suddenly alight with numbers. She scanned the list and found that she could influence the list by applying thought to making the numbers move up and down. Twilight realized that time had stopped so she took a few minutes exploring the list; her science was already at 100, as was her repair. Her energy weapons was only at 25 so she spent the bulk of her points raising it up to 40, then she delegated the rest of her points to medicine which she raised to 32. She mentally said that she was done and the scene in front of her was filled with a list of perks, she noticed that she was level ten. After a few minutes of silent indecision she chose the Nerd Rage perk, it seemed useful. Then time returned to normal and she was standing next to Ethan.

“You all set Sparky?” Ethan asked her and Twilight nodded.

“I’m level ten, whatever that means.” Twilight replied with a shrug.

“Cool, I had to start at level one. Then again I bet you actually did something with your life before you got here.” Ethan told her with a chuckle

“Yeah cool…the perk won’t hurt me will it?” Twilight asked slowly.

“I’ve got a few hundred at this point and I haven’t noticed anything wrong, well except for that eye tentacle penis…” Ethan told her with a thoughtful expression before turning back to the scope.

***

Azarath Metrion Zinthos, Azarath Metrion Zinthos. Celestia chanted quietly inside her head as she listened to the noble who was currently engaged in the dance that she and Luna had over the years decided to call the ‘even if you’re immortal I’m smarter then you dance. The chant helped her keep from incinerating them; it also helped focus her magic in case she decided to actually incinerate them…

“…so as you can see Princess Celestia I’m obviously entitled to more land.” The noble finished with smirk. Azarath Metrion Zinthos, Azarath Metrion Zinthos. “So what you’re saying is that instead of giving the land to the ponies who want to start a new farming town, I should instead give it to you someone who already holds over 500 acres.” Celestia said slowly.

“That is correct your Majesty, I’ll still allow them to farm there, but they will have to pay me a fee for every crop that they produce.” The noble told her. Azarath Metrion Zinthos.“You are of course aware that we do not allow serfdom in the kingdom?” Celestia asked the noble who coughed politely into his hoof.

“Of course, and I surly know more about the law then most ponies I know.” The noble replied in the tone implying that Celestia was in fact one of those ponies. Azarath Metrion Zinthos, Azarath Metrion Zinthos, Azarath Metrion Zinthos, Azarath Metrion Zinthos! “Are you also aware that what you are proposing is illegal under subsection four page 42 line seven paragraph five of the royal law book designation number 69?” Celestia asked the noble (she smirked inwardly at the shocked expression on his face) “Oh you weren’t? Well I’m terribly sorry but what you propose is simply impossible and as such I’m afraid that the town will be established in the normal order of things.” Celestia told him, she did her best to sound sympathetic (judging by the way that the noble’s eye twitched she was pretty sure that she’d succeeded, after all she’d had a few thousand years of faking sincerity)

“I was unaware of that subsection, your Majesty.” The noble simpered.

“Oh it’s quite alright, I don’t expect my subjects to memorize ever law book like I’m forced to.” Celestia told him sympathetically.

“I’ll just be going then.” The noble said before turning around and practically running out of the room.

“Nicely done Ma’am, he actually believed he had you for a few seconds there.” Artos said from her right with a gentle flap of his white wings.

“Thank you Artos, I wondered for a second if he saw through me.” Celestia replied with a quiet chuckle.

“Shall I send in the next one?” Rudy asked from where he stood at the door.

“Why not, we’ve still got all day.” Celestia replied with a shrug.

“Announcing Princess Gilda of the Griffins, come to seek advice.” Rudy shouted as a young white feathered griffin entered the room. Celestia’s ears perked up in surprise and interest. Griffins were proud creatures and didn’t normally ask for help dealing with their problems, she also knew a bit about this particular griffin thanks in part to one of Twilight’s friendship reports.

“Is this room private?” The griffin asked Celestia who nodded.

“Yes there is no one here besides my guards both of whom have taken magical oaths to prevent them from speaking of anything that goes on in this chamber.” Celestia replied, Gilda nodded and suddenly she looked very awkward.

“Look, normally I wouldn’t ask someone for advice, but I’m out of options here.” Gilda said rubbing the back of her neck self-

consciously with a talon.

“I understand my dear; it is my job to help ponies through troubles that they wouldn’t ordinarily be able to handle. And although you may not be a pony I will certainly not deny you the right to ask for my help.” Celestia said as she stepped down from her throne and walked towards the young griffin.

“Okay, well, um, you know how griffins bond for life?” Gilda asked and Celestia nodded sagely, she’d learned that the hard way several centuries ago…

“Of course it’s one of the defining features of griffins.” Celestia replied.

“You know Rainbow Dash the Element of Loyalty right?” Gilda asked. Celestia groaned inwardly, she knew exactly where this was going.

“I may have forgotten to mention that to her…” Gilda said awkwardly. “… And then I made a bad impression on her friends because I was being stupid… and then she dumped me…” Gilda said looking more and more awkward with every sentence, she also looked close to tears.

“How long ago was this?” Celestia asked.

“Maybe four years ago.” Gilda said with a slight shudder. That’s when Celestia noticed the dark circles around her eyes and the way that her feathers hadn’t been preened in weeks.

“And what have you done to correct this mistake?” Celestia asked with a sigh, she already knew the answer.

“Nothing, I’ve been too nervous.” Gilda replied quietly, Celestia sighed and wrapped a foreleg around Gilda’s shoulder.

“You’re going to have to do something soon; frankly I’m surprised you’ve made it four years.” Celestia told the griffin who shuddered slightly.

“I know, but what if she hates me?” Gilda asked with a slight sob.

“Then you explain what happened from your point of view, and then you ask her if she’d rather you die from lack of contact.” Celestia told her calmly.

“Do you really think that’ll work?” Gilda asked.

“Yes, but don’t ask it like that. If you ask it like that it’ll sound like blackmail. Sit her down and tell her about the life bond, if you don’t she won’t understand.” Celestia replied.

“Thanks Princess…” Gilda said. “I think I’m going to go do that, I just hope that none of those la- I mean, nice friends of hers aren’t around…” Gilda said trailing off.

“Go on then dear, and tell Rainbow Dash to talk to me if she doesn’t understand what you’ve told her.” Celestia told the griffin who nodded and made her way out of the room.

“Well that’s something you don’t see every day.”Artos said with a low whistle.

“Another Ma’am?” Rudy asked.

“No I’m done for the day.”

Day 4 Part 2

Day 4 Part 2

The screams of the Talon Company mercs and the angry shouts of the supermutants filled the air as the Ethan and Twilight approached the capital building. Ethan had long ago put away his gauss rifle and instead he’d retrieved a short black carbine with a scope attached to the top. They stepped onto the battlefield unnoticed by either side and began to stealthily make their way closer to the right side of the steps of the capital building. Suddenly a red lance of light shot out from the mutant ranks and impacted against Ethan’s chest. Ethan grimaced and raised the rifle in his hand before pulling the trigger and unleashing a tight three round burst into the offending mutant’s head which reduced it to a bloody pulp.

“You ready for this Sparky?” Ethan shouted over the din of combat as both lines suddenly became aware of their presence.

“Not really!” Twilight shouted back.

“Good, people who think that they’re always prepared annoy me.” Ethan replied as his rifle flared again and a Talon merc dropped. Twilight nodded and raised her own plasma rifle and began to add to Ethan’s already withering wall of lead. It wasn’t long however until they were forced into the cover of several large pieces of fallen marble. Even with his armor and his strong skin Ethan couldn’t survive the combined fire of the mutants and the Talons simultaneously for very long, or at least not in his current armor.

“Sparky you’re a magic unicorn, is there any chance that you can do more magic then telekinesis and teleportation?” Ethan asked Twilight.

“I can do almost any spell given the right time.” Twilight replied with a nod.

“Well is there any way you can make a one-way shield that’ll protect me from bullets and lasers and still allow me to fire out of it?” Ethan asked with a gleam in his eye. Twilight’s eyes lit up and she smiled at him.

“Yes I can do that, although I won’t be able to hold it for very long.” She told him.

“How long are we talking here?” Ethan asked as he reached into his pocket and withdrew a few plasma grenades and his plasma pistol.

“Maybe half a minute, it might be less though. The shield works by absorbing the energy behind each attack and distributing it over its surface instead of just one point. Theoretically I could hold off one beam of intensely powerful energy forever but judging by the amount of enemy fire that isn’t an option.” Twilight replied with a frown on her face.

“Good enough for me; tell me when you raise it.” Ethan told her with a smile. Twilight’s horn glowed briefly and Ethan suddenly found himself looking at the world through a crackling purple energy.

“Go.” Twilight told him simply, Ethan nodded and rose to his feet. The Talons and the mutants opened up immediately and Ethan felt bullets and lasers bouncing off of the shield but he ignored them and focused on the task at hand. He pulled the pin on one of the plasma grenades and threw it with all his might.

The grenade arced over the railings that the mutants were using as cover and just when it reached height level Ethan entered VATS and shot a single bolt of plasma into the grenade causing an explosion that cleared the area around it of mutants. Then he turned to the Talons (one of whom was lining up a shot with a missile launcher) and let fly the grenade.

Just as the grenade and the missile met each other Ethan shot the grenade causing a large explosion that obscured the Talon’s view of him and took out a few of their members as well. That’s when Ethan felt the hot burning sensation of a gatling laser impacting against his chest cutting through his duster. Ethan ducked back down and gave Twilight a smile.

“Thanks Sparky, I would’ve been toast without you.” Ethan told her.

“Sorry that that laser got through, it was going to fast for me to distribute effectively.” Twilight apologized but Ethan only chuckled.

“Don’t worry about it Sparky, I’m fine.” Ethan told. “Unfortunately I wasn’t able to get all of them.” Ethan said with a slight frown.

“Are there few enough for us to make it through?” Twilight asked. Ethan tapped his chin thoughtfully before he reached into his back and withdrew several long tubes which he began to rapidly assemble into his new anti material rifle. When he was done Twilight’s eyes were bulging and Ethan chuckled.

“This is meant to take out tanks and powerarmor, want to see what it does to mutants?” He asked her with a smile. Twilight nodded and Ethan rose to a crouch so that only the barrel of his rifle was visible from behind the marble barrier. The mutants and the Talons had gone back to killing each other and Ethan focused the scope’s reticle on the overlord with the gatling laser’s head. With a soft explosion of air the mutant’s head exploded into a fine red mist. Ethan worked rapidly and took down the other two overlords in the same fashion before the remaining supermutant masters noticed that they were gone. Then he ducked back behind cover where Twilight was giving him a quizzical look.

“Hey Ethan?” She began.

“Yes Sparky?” Ethan asked as miniguns fire ripped into their cover.

“Are you compensating for something?” She asked nodding towards the enormous rifle. The Talon mercs and the supermutants were surprised when hearty laughing suddenly burst from behind their targets’ cover.

***

“Where the hell did they all come from?” Knight Alex asked over the sound of the incoming mutant gun fire.

“Does it really matter?” Knight Samuel asked as he hunkered down next to his partner.

“No, but I’d really like to know!” Alex replied as he leaned over the wall and took a shot with his laser rifle.

Spread out before the gate of the citadel was a literal green sea of mutants. They’d come out of nowhere and quickly overwhelmed the outer defense turrets along with the few men on patrol. Now that the main gate had been closed the Brotherhood of Steel had deployed squads along the front wall in an attempt to whittle away at the hoard. Knight Alex was not having a fun day…

“Where are the Pride, shouldn’t they be out here?” Samuel asked before he rose and fired off another shot, a hunting rifle round pinged off of his helmet but he didn’t so much as flinch before he returned to his crouch next to his battlebrother.

“I think they’re gearing up, the way I heard it they’re going to punch through the enemy lines.” Initiate Carmine said as he scurried up to the two knights and deposited a fresh supply of micro fusion cells. He was in normal recon armor but for some reason he lacked a helmet.

“Thank you Initiat- keep your head down!” Alex suddenly shouted grabbing Initiate Carmine by the elbow and pulling him down into a crouch seconds before a bullet flashed through the space his head had been occupying.

“I could’ve died.” Carmine said in shock.

“Yes that usually happens during wars. Get your ass back inside Initiate!” Alex said before shoving Carmine in the direction of the door.

“Why would he be out here without a helmet?” Samuel asked shaking his head in annoyance.

“I don’t know, the kid is just asking for the Wasteland to bitchslap him.” Alex replied with a shrug. Suddenly the two knights heard the distinctive sound of a missile streaking towards them. Without a second thought they both leapt away from the edge of the wall. The missile impacted a few seconds later with a tremendous bang.

“Well that was dramatic.” Samuel said before moving back to his place on the wall.

***

Ethan and Twilight entered the capital building to find that it was oddly empty.

“It’s qui-” Twilight began until Ethan grabbed her jaw.

“That’s another thing you never say Sparky.” Ethan told her quietly. “Also this whole set up just screams trap, so when I tell you to teleport yourself out of here you teleport yourself to the museum without questioning it.” Ethan added sternly.

“You don’t want my help?” Twilight asked.

“If it’s a trap I’d rather it only be me caught in it, I’m hard to kill remember?” He told her with a thin smile.

“Alright Ethan, are you sure you don’t want me to take you with me?” Twilight asked but Ethan shook his head.

“No, I can probably get out regardless of what they have planned and I’ll be able to gather data either way. You on the other hand would be a burden.” He told her, Twilight looked hurt but she nodded slowly.

“Okay Ethan.” She said quietly.

“Good, let’s go.” Ethan said and they set off down the hallway heading towards the capital dome. They emerged into the great courtyard and Ethan let out a shocked gasp that was quickly followed by Twilight’s (although she was gasping more out of surprise where as Ethan was gasping in fear) Standing casually in front of them were two giant supermutant behemoths, sitting on a small throne between them was a large Nightkin overlord.

“Ah there you are; I was wondering when you’d make it.” The Nightkin said in a surprisingly suave British accent.

“Twilight teleport!” Ethan told her urgently. Twilight nodded and vanished in a flash of light.

“So face to face at last Wanderer, how does it feel to look upon someone as glorious as me?” The Nightkin asked with a dark chuckle.

“Have you ever seen brahmin shit, because I’d say that you’re somewhere between that and mirelurk shit but I can’t decide where?” Ethan replied and the mutant let out a satisfied chuckle.

“There’s that wit that I’ve heard so much about, I suppose you’d like my name?” The mutant asked.

“Well I’m going to kill you as soon as we’re done talking so I can’t see why it would matter.” Ethan replied with a cold grin.

“Oh good show; defiant in the face of certain death just like I would expect from someone like you.” The mutant said with another dark chuckle.

“You’re unusually refined for someone of your species.” Ethan said and the mutant let out what sounded like an annoyed sigh.

“Alas you are right my brothers aren’t quite as smart as me; however I’m sure after I harvest the entirety of the Brotherhood of Steel I’ll manage to find some more intelligent conversation.” The mutant said with an evil grin.

“Tough talk for an effeminate British mutant.” Ethan replied calmly with a slight smirk.

“Oh is it? I believe that dispatched an army of my brothers several hours ago, by now your precious Brotherhood of Steel is surly breathing its last gasp.” The mutant replied, the blood drained from Ethan’s face and his eyes hardened.

“Well then I’ll just have to kill you and every one of the mutants in your army.” Ethan replied with a glare.

“I really doubt that you can stop me, I’m Dominus.” The mutant replied with a wicked grin.

“Master in Latin, you supermutants are really creative aren’t you?” Ethan asked while edged closer to the door. Suddenly he was hit from behind and forced to his knees Ethan rolled forward and returned to his feet while at the same time swinging his shock sword in a crackling silver arc at the invisible mutant behind him. There was a loud scream of pain and a severed head appeared on the ground.

“I certainly like to think so.” Dominus replied as Ethan suddenly found himself surrounded by invisible foes.

Ethan jerked his head back as an invisible bumper sword swung past and clanged against the floor and then rapidly shifted to the left to ovoid the slash of another. He slashed out with the shock sword but was met by the large blade of a bumper sword before he could get close enough to the mutant swinging it.

Then he felt the horrible feeling of another bumper sword being jabbed painfully into his back completely shredding his duster and plunging into his skin before being quickly removed drawing a thin spray of blood. Ethan felt to the floor in pain and just barely managed to roll before another sword could impale him. Gritting through the pain Ethan slashed out desperately with the shock sword cutting through the leg of a mutant who’d gotten to close. Ethan scrambled painfully to his feet and jabbed a stimpack into his arm immediately feeling relief as his skin started to reknit itself.

He caught sight of a flickering movement coming at him and paired the bumper sword gaining a grunt of annoyance from the mutant wielding it. Then he swayed to the side as another sword smashed through the air where he’d been standing. Another blade came at him and Ethan ducked underneath the blow. He heard the whistle of displaced air coming from behind him and crouched underneath it at the last minute allowing the blade to pass harmlessly overhead.

Four, there were four of them. Ethan’s expression suddenly changed from that of a corned animal into that of a smug snake looking at a box of mice. With a vicious war cry he swept his sword out in a glittering arc blocking a mutant’s down stroke and closed the distance to the invisible foe. At the last minute he ducked and allowed one of the other mutant’s blades to stab into the targeted mutant’s chest. Now that the two were occupied Ethan slashed twice and quickly beheaded both of the mutants. That left him with two more invisible foes.

The first slashed sideways but Ethan parried it contemptuously and sliced forward. His slash drew a thin line of blood across the invisible mutant’s chest which leaked onto the floor. Meanwhile Ethan had turned to confront the other mutant who was currently trying to slice him in half. Ethan swayed to the side of the powerful downward swing but he wasn’t fast enough and it slammed into his right shoulder sinking deep into the skin and muscle. Ethan mentally cursed but somehow managed to keep his grip on the sword long enough to switch it to his opposite hand.

“You are doing surprisingly well; I always have liked a good show.” Dominus said from where he sat on the throne.

Ethan ignored the mutant’s distracting words and focused on blocking the withering hail of slashes that the two invisible mutants were directing at him. Then he caught a lucky break and managed to disarm one of his opponents (literally). While the mutant screamed in pain Ethan rounded on the last mutant and shoved his sword into its stomach before pivoting and slicing through the one armed mutants chest. Panting heavily Ethan turned towards Dominus and began to walk towards him menacingly. With each step he left a bloody footprint and his breaths came in a slight rasp.

“Is that all you’ve got?” Ethan asked as he put away his sword and pulled out his Novasurge.

“Not at all dear boy.” Dominus replied with a chuckle. Ethan continued walking towards the mutant who was lounging comfortably on his throne watching the approaching hero with a small grin. “Or did you forget Brutus and Caphis here?” He asked gesturing at the two behemoths who had at this point been completely still and unmoving.

At once the behemoth on the left charged forward faster than the eye could see and sent Ethan flying into the far wall of the chamber with a punch. Ethan’s body fell limply to the ground as the behemoth stepped closer. Through bleary eyes Ethan watched the behemoth approach. With an extreme effort of will Ethan pulled out his magnum and began to shoot the behemoth in the head as it made its lumbering approach. The bullets sank deep but appeared not do any significant damage to the towering mutant.

It grabbed Ethan in its meaty grasp and began to squeeze, slowly increasing the pressure until Ethan felt one of his ribs snap, followed by another, and another, and another. Ethan’s world became a red haze of pain as mocking British laughter surged up to him.

“You have a steel reinforced spine, how quaint.” Dominus called up to him from where Ethan had gone limp in the behemoth’s grasp. Ethan fought against the blackness of unconsciousness but the pain of his ribs breaking and then healing and then breaking again was too much for him to bear and his eyes closed to the sound of mocking laughter.

Day 4 part 3 end of day 4

Day 4 Part 3

Twilight flashed into existence shocking Fawkes out of his boredom. He raised his weapon and prepared to unleash hell when he noticed who had come out of the small flash of light.

“Twilight my friend I did not know that you could teleport.” Fawkes said lowering his gatling laser.

“Fawkes you have to help Ethan is in trouble!” Twilight exclaimed.

“It is Ethan, I’m sure he will be fine.” Fawkes told her calmly with a shrug.

“He sounded really worried Fawkes; to make matters worse he called me by my name instead of calling me Sparky!” She told him frantically. The mutant’s eyes widened in surprise and then narrowed.

“That is distressing, what was it that he was facing?” Fawkes asked her worriedly.

“There were two enormous mutants and one large one who was sitting on a throne of some kind.” Twilight told him.

“That is not good at all; Ethan was not outfitted to fight behemoths…” Fawkes said trailing off. “Twilight go to Charon and tell him exactly what you have told me, I will find someone else to guard this door in my absence.” Fawkes commanded. Twilight took off at a gallop towards the section of the museum that she’d met the ghouls the other day. Raul looked up from his desk in surprise.

“What do you need senorita?” The Ghoul in the poncho asked.

“Ethan’s been captured and I need your help to rescue him.” Twilight told the ghoul.

“Tell the boss, I’ll get my ammo.” Raul said gesturing towards the cafeteria door. Twilight ran into the cafeteria and found the other three ghouls in the same places as they had been yesterday.

“The unicorn is back, I have good news for you pony, we have bread for sandviches!” The heavy set ghoul told Twilight excitedly.

“Thanks but I’ll have to have one later, Mister Charon Ethan’s been captured by the supermutants!” Twilight told the ghoul who regarded her with a raised eyebrow (if he had eyebrows that is).

“Ethan is always getting captured, I’m sure he’ll be fine.” Charon told her dismissively.

“You don’t understand; the mutants had two behemoths!” Twilight exclaimed.

“Shit!” Charon said softly before he turned to the heavy ghoul and the thin one. “Nikita, Doc get your gear on we move in two minutes!” He told them, both ghouls nodded and set off down the corridor. “Where was Ethan being held?” Charon asked turning to Twilight.

“I don’t know; I left before anything happened but from the tone in Ethan’s voice I could tell that he was in trouble. I last saw him in the really tall room with the dome.” Twilight told the ghoul who nodded.

“Stay here Miss Sparkle, we’ll be right back.” He told her curtly before he left the room leaving Twilight alone in the cafeteria where she spent two agonizingly long minutes sitting in silence.

When they returned the four ghouls were wearing black almost chitinus power armor. None of them wore helmets with the exception of Raul who still wore the sombrero. Nikita the heavy set ghoul carried a large minigun (the word Vera could be easily read on the side). Doc the tall slim one carried a large plasma pistol while Raul carried two large ranger sequoias. Charon carried a riot shotgun.

“Alright Miss Sparkle stay behind us, we’re blasting our way through and rescuing my idiot of an employer and then leaving as fast as possible.” Charon told her with a nod as the five of them began walking out of the museum. Fawkes met them at the door and gave Charon a wide grin as he hefted his gatling laser.

“Once again we are being called upon to save Ethan.” Fawkes said with a smirk.

“Almost makes you think that we’re the heroes doesn’t it.” Charon replied with a matching smirk as the six walked out the door.

“Meh I’m here to make sure the boss’s husband doesn’t die, she’d probably find some way to bring him back but she’d still chow my ass for it.” Raul said dismissively.

“I’m here to kill giant mutants.” Nikita said simply hefting his large minigun. “Oh and Vera gets annoyed if I don’t take her on enough dates.” He added gently running his hand down the side of the gun.

“I just want to disec- I mean heal Ethan, his biology is very interesting.” Doc said with a slightly maniacal grin.

They made their way to the capital building and were (at least Twilight was) dismayed to find a large group of supermutants guarding the entrance.

“Okay we’ll advance in fireteam formation. Fawkes you and Nikita in the center while Raul and I cover your flanks. Twilight you and Doc bring up the rear.” Charon told them.

“I’m going to teleport in and rescue Ethan, you guys clear me a path.” Twilight countered. Charon raised an eyebrow but shrugged.

“Don’t die.” He told her.

“I’ll see you inside.” Twilight replied before she vanished in a flash.

“Always the dames.” Charon said shaking his head.

***

Ethan woke to the odd sensation of having large meaty fingers wrapped around his body, it wasn’t uncomfortable, but he wasn’t into that kind of thing. Instead of groaning or doing anything else to alert his captors to his to the fact that he was awake he remained perfectly still and allowed his breath to come in and go in the same manner it would as if he were sleeping. A sudden sharp increase of pressure on his ribs caught him unexpectedly and his eyes jerked awake in surprise. He found himself face to face with Dominus. The Nightkin looked at him with a smile before he leaned back and punched Ethan in the nose breaking it. Ethan grunted as blood streaked down his face and his nose popped back into place.

“You are a very fun toy.” Dominus told him with a smile.

“Do you flatter all of your boys that way?” Ethan asked with a smirk.

“But of course, what kind of host would I be if I didn’t?” Dominus asked him.

“Please tell me this is the part where you confidently tell me your plans, I love that part.” Ethan said with a grin.

“Very well, my plan is simple really. Overwhelm the Brotherhood with sheer numbers, turn the survivors into mutants, and then overrun the wasteland. You of course remain my prisoner until that’s done and then you become a mutant” Dominus said with a small grin.

“A little too simple for my tastes, personally I prefer the convoluted.” Ethan said with a head shake.

“Yes but the convoluted are easily thwarted by those of your persuasion.” Dominus replied with a shrug.

“If you don’t mind me asking, how exactly did you come across your accent? No offense but effeminate British accents are hard to come by in the wasteland.” Ethan asked with a thin smile.

“Is it that unbelievable that I speak like this naturally?” Dominus asked before he gave Ethan another punch to the face.

“No, but I’d hoped that you were just putting on a show so I didn’t have to listen to it for the remainder of my captivity. Oh and next time I prefer wine if you’re going to fuck me.” Ethan replied with a smirk, and then he felt another of his ribs snap. “Worth it.” He gasped around the pain of his ribs healing.

“You will not speak to me in that manner, I am the eventual destiny of all mankind and I will be treated as such!” Dominus said angrily.

“You are aware that you don’t have the capability of creating new life right?” Ethan asked with a pained smirk.

“You are aware that I will have all the manpower I need to conquer this brown dirtball we call a country after I turn all of your friends into supermutants right?” Dominus countered. Suddenly Ethan felt the supermutant’s fingers beginning to loosen slightly and he noticed a slight purple glow coming from the opposite side of the room. A mad gleam entered his eyes.

“Aglets.” Ethan replied.

“What?” Dominus asked.

“The little plastic things that are on the ends of shoelaces are called aglets, their true purpose is sinister!” Ethan exclaimed while Dominus eyed him in confusion.

“What are you talking about?” Dominus asked

“You understand but you do not comprehend!” Ethan shouted.

“Have you gone insane?” Dominus asked backing away uncertainly.

“Cheese for everyone!” Ethan responded enthusiastically, he felt the fingers of the mutant loosen a little bit more.

“I find you odd; I wonder if I keep punching you you’ll start to make sense.” Dominus said before punching Ethan in the face again.

“Ali ali oxen free, it’s safe to come out and play!” Ethan shouted with a grin, the fingers encircling him suddenly snapped open with a large burst of purple magic. Ethan wasted no time and jumped forward smashing his fist directly into the Nightkin’s lower jaw breaking his knuckles and sending Dominus reeling backwards. “Fuck, I didn’t think that one through all the way.” Ethan said rubbing his knuckles as they popped back into place. “Great timing by the way Sparky.” He added with a grin before Dominus charged forward drove his fist into Ethan’s stomach driving him into the air as a cough of blood shot from his mouth. Twilight caught him in her TK and quickly brought him over by her side as she stepped fully into the view of the mutants.

“Ah the little pony returns, tell me my dear do you plan to gore me with your horn or are you planning on intimidating me with your scary little hooves?” Dominus asked with a chuckle.

“Actually I was planning on shredding you molecule by molecule until you’re nothing but an ugly pile of electrons.” Twilight answered as her horn began to glow.

“Brutus, smash the small unicorn please.” Dominus said with a yawn.

The supermutant who hadn’t been holding Ethan (who was recovering his breathe on the ground next to Twilight) ran towards Twilight and swung a large stop sign club thing at Twilight. Twilight called up a glowing purple barrier around them and the club bounced off easily. Brutus the behemoth looked at the unicorn and the man beneath the barrier with a look of confused stupidity on his face. He raised his club and tried again but was met with the same result. Twilight’s brow wrinkled in concentration for a second before she dropped her shield and sent a large wave of force smashing into the supermutant sending it slamming into the other end of the room with a phenomenal crash.

“I am Twilight Sparkle student to Princess Celestia Goddess of the Sun, you are nothing!” She told the mutants before her, her voice rang loud and clear like a bell ringing at midnight or a cannon firing over a quiet battlefield.

“Brutus, Caphis kill her. I have things to attend to.” Dominus told the mutants before he quickly ran towards one of the exits.

Twilight was about to target him when the other behemoth charged her screaming a war cry. It swung a giant fist at them but Twilight deflected it with a small shield that angled it so that the punch deflected harmlessly to the side. Then with a small effort of will Twilight unleashed a small magic missile. The beam of magic shot through the air and ripped a small cauterized hole through the behemoth’s chest. Unfortunately she missed anything vital and all she did was annoy the giant mutant who began to beat pound on her new shield with both hands. A drop of sweat began to roll down Twilight’s forehead as the mutant pounded on her shield with both fists and was soon joined by the other mutant who had at this time recovered and began to beat on the shield with its club.

“So Sparky how long can you keep that shield up?” Ethan asked as he began to inject himself with several stimpacks and a dose of Med-X for good measure.

“A while, but I have a different idea.” Twilight said. “Do you happen to have a plasma grenade on you Ethan?” She asked after a few seconds of thinking.

“Sure, but why?” Ethan asked as he gingerly reached into his pack and retrieved a plasma grenade before tossing it to Twilight who caught it in her magic.

“Well I’m going to enchant it with two spells. One is a modified version of my old ‘want it need it’ spell and the other is one to magnify the blast radius.” Twilight explained as the grenade began to glow.

“Wasn’t that the spell that you mentioned that got you into trouble?” Ethan asked before spitting out a thin trail of blood. “Damn, I hate waiting for lungs and kidneys to regrow.” He added.

“Yes, but this is a modified version that should only attract them.” Twilight replied and then shuddered as a particularly strong strike rocked against the shield.

Twilight’s horn suddenly glowed brighter and the grenade gained an almost ethereal yellow light. The supermutant’s immediately increased their hammering and began to howl noisily as they tried to get to the grenade. Twilight opened up a small hole in the shield and threw the grenade out at top speed. The mutant’s ran after it frantically and once it had reached the far end of the room Twilight removed the pin. There was a spectacular green explosion and Twilight was forced to close her eyes. When she opened them both of the behemoths were still standing although they now looked very confused. They slowly turned to regard the unicorn and the human in puzzlement before one grunted something and they both charged again.

“Oh fuck you; you stupid fucking morons!” Twilight shouted. With an effort of pure magical energy Twilight grabbed both of them in her TK (they weighed around the same as one Ursa Minor). Without waiting for them to begin to struggle Twilight lifted into the air and smashed them against the ceiling of the dome. Sweat began to coat her hide but she rammed them against the roof again. The mutants roared in agony and protest but remained helpless in her magical grasp. With one final heave Twilight sent them hurtling into the top of the dome which shattered and the mutants shot out of it into the distance. Then she collapsed to the ground in exhaustion.

“That’ll do pig that’ll do.” Ethan said patting her on the back gently before he pulled her over to lean against him.

“I feel like I should be offended by that, but I can’t manage the effort.” Twilight replied.

“Don’t worry Sparky one of these days you’ll learn how to snark effectively.” Ethan told the unicorn as he patted her head gently.

***

From his studio window Threedog was drinking a cup of coffee thinking about the troubling news he’d just heard. The Brotherhood was under siege by a giant army of mutants with no end in sight and Ethan was nowhere to be found with the last reports putting him somewhere in the mall. Suddenly Threedog dropped his coffee mug which shattered against the ground sending burning coffee spilling all over his shoes, but he didn’t care because sailing away from the capital building were two giant supermutant behemoths. A large smile appeared on his face and Threedog began to chuckle, something that crazy could only be the work of Ethan.

Day 5 part 1

Day 5 part 1

Ethan stormed into his Megaton house with Twilight trailing close behind (they’d spent last night sleeping in the infirmary at Underworld and then marched back all morning).

“Wadsworth I need my powerarmor, Vengeance, my Tesla Coil, my heavy incinerator, my adapted missile launcher, and my MAC.” Ethan said breathlessly.

“Taking on an army are we sir?” Wadsworth asked dryly as he floated around the room collecting the requested items as Ethan began to change in the middle of the room.

“Actually yes.” Ethan replied as he pulled off his pants and began to climb into his recon underarmor.

“Somehow I’m not surprised.” Wadsworth said. “Would Miss Sparkle like something to complement herself, or would she rather travel light?” Wadsworth asked swiveling one of his eyes to look at Twilight.

“Umm what’s available?” Twilight asked.

“I believe that we have a lovely alien disintegrator available at the moment, it can rapidly fire a hundred shots before you need to reload and master Ethan uses it occasionally to clear out raider nests.” Wadsworth replied.

“Alien?” Twilight asked.

“Yes, from a spaceship full of stereotypical little green men.” Wadsworth replied. “From what I’ve heard it was an incredibly

boring adventure, but the master received some good technology so there’s that.” The robot added.

“Umm sure, why not.” Twilight said with a shrug. Then she turned around to see how Ethan was doing. Her mouth dropped open, where Ethan had stood a tall metal monster reared above her in his place.

“Ah it feels good to be wearing this again.” Ethan told her with a happy sigh, his voice was modulated and sounded slightly robotic.

“Ethan what is that?” Twilight asked slowly.

“This Twilight, is what happens when you combine Enclave hellfire armor, Enclave tesla armor, normal T51B armor, winterized T51B armor, and a Chinese stealth suit for good measure.” Ethan told her (she could hear the smile in his voice).

“Should I understand what that means?” Twilight asked.

“It means that he can effectively fight an army by himself.” Wadsworth said coming up from behind her and depositing several bulky items at Ethan’s feet. “Here is your disintegrator.” He added handing Twilight a long thin rifle that looked extremely odd. “Here are a thousand shots worth of ammo.” He said giving her ten glowing tubes.

“Thanks Wadsworth.” Twilight said as she began to familiarize herself with the odd rifle. “So Ethan what’s the plan?” She asked looking back at the metal titan

“We’re going to travel to the Citadel and kill an entire army.” He told her simply

***

Rainbow Dash was sitting on one of her cloud chairs reading the newest book in the Daring Doo series when the sound of urgent knocking met her ears.

“I’m coming hold on a minute.” Dash called, she stealthily hid the book inside the folds of her cloud (it wouldn’t be cool for ponies she didn’t consider close friends to see her reading a book). She flew over to her door and opened it without hesitation. To her surprise she found something completely unexpected, it was Gilda.

The griffin didn’t look anything like she had the last time Dash had seen her, in fact she looked absolutely terrible. Her feathers obviously hadn’t been preened in weeks (if not months). The normally clear eyes were red and puffy as if she’d been crying recently. Her furry hindquarters were also in a similar state of disrepair and her fur was wadded up into small bunches. Above all she looked gaunt and starving.

“Gilda what the happened to you?” Dash asked in horrified surprise as her eyes swept over her friend (and ex-lover).

“Hi Dash, we need to talk. May I come in?” Gilda asked with a sad smile.

***

Celestia was walking through the gardens enjoying the beautiful summer day (she’d already held court so the fresh air felt especially nice on her fur) when she heard an odd noise. It sounded as if somepony was playing a cello. Celestia raised an eyebrow and walked towards the noise. What she found was Discord standing on a hickory stump calmly sliding a bow across his cello’s strings. His back was turned so he didn’t notice Celestia lying in the grass behind him as he played the soothing instrument. Suddenly the bow made an evil sounding hiss and Discord began to sputter in anger.

“No No No NO! That will never beat her!” He exclaimed angrily stomping for emphasis and throwing the metaphysical cello to the ground with an angry glare. Celestia couldn’t help herself, she started to giggle. Discord pivoted and confronted her. “It isn’t polite to spy Tia.” He told her archly.

“Forgive me Discord I heard the music.” She said with a shrug and a giggle. “And I just have to know why you’re in such a tizzy.” She added with a smile.

“Because that stupid grey mare won my golden cello!” Discord exclaimed angrily.

“What golden cello?” Celestia asked with a raised eyebrow.

“The one that my father gave me!” Discord raged.

“You hated your father.” Celestia pointed out helpfully.

“Yes, but that cello was mine!” Discord replied with an angry hand gesture.

“How did this mare even win it?” Celestia asked.

“I challenged her to a musical duel for the mind of her marefriend.” Discord replied with a shrug.

“For some reason I can’t find it in myself to feel bad for you.” Celestia said sarcastically and Discord scowled at her.

“I still can’t imagine how she beat me, honestly I’ve been playing that damned cello for a millenia!” He said in aggravation.

“Forgive me for asking something that is clearly obvious to you, but how could a golden cello even be played? The weight of alone would make it unwieldy at best not to mention the acoustics would be horrible.” Celestia asked Discord.

“Because it does Tia, it’s an eternal conundrum just like me, thus it works perfectly and weighs next to nothing.” Discord told her as if she were an idiot.

“I’ll just leave you to your practice then.” Celestia said getting back to her hooves and giving the spirit of chaos a smirk.

***

Twilight and Ethan were walking along the road that would eventually lead them to the Citadel and while Ethan was cheerfully whistling the (extremely familiar) chorus of I don’t want to set the world on fire Twilight’s face was blank and remote. Ethan looked over and caught the expression and gave Twilight a tiny frown.

“Sparky?” He asked but received no response. “Sparky you in there?” He asked and once again received no response. A small smile crossed his face. Ethan took off one of his armored gloves and he dipped a finger in his mouth (making sure to get it really wet and slimy) before he plunged it into her nearest ear. The reaction was immediate.

“What the FUCK!” Twilight shouted loudly and lashed out with a blast of TK that sent Ethan smashing into the concrete wall of a nearby building. Ethan emerged completely unharmed laughing hysterically.

“Oh my god Sparky you should’ve seen the look on your face!” Ethan said as he began to dust off his hulking powerarmor.

“Why in Celestia would you do that Ethan, what the fuck?” Twilight asked angrily as she began to rub her ear frantically with a hoof.

“Because you were ignoring your surroundings, that’s like asking the wasteland to bitchslap you.” Ethan replied with a (completely wasted thanks to his helmet) grin.

“I was in the middle of perfecting a very complicated magical process Ethan, I could’ve killed you!” Twilight said in annoyance as they began to walk again.

“Worth it.” Ethan replied with a (once again wasted) grin. “So what were you working on?” Ethan asked after a few chuckles.

“I was working on a technique that Celestia told me about. It involves splitting your mind so that you can give two or more things your full attention at the same time.” Twilight replied.

“Ah, so that you can perform multiple spells at the same time.” Ethan told her.

“Yes but it goes deeper than that, if I can get it to work I will be able to create a full copy of my personality that is just as smart as me and we’ll be able to work out any problem together.” Twilight told him and Ethan nodded slowly.

“It’ll also let you do some really interesting things in bed.” He added with a chuckle, Twilight threw a tin can at him. Suddenly Threedog’s voice came on over the radio.

You know children I thought that I’d seen all that the wasteland had to offer, but you know recently I’ve had to question that belief. It all started around four days ago with reports from the town of Megaton that Ethan Smith our very own Lone Wanderer had picked himself up some rather unusual company. Now I know that’s hardly unusual for Ethan but get this folks, he’s traveling with a magic purple talking honest to god unicorn. The mare’s name is Twilight Sparkle and she’s a guest out here in the wasteland so I want you all to be very polite (or at least don’t try to eat her). Anyways that’s not really the news. The news is that this little pony was the one who caused the two large holes in the Capital Dome. So remember kiddies don’t mess with the purple unicorn who can throw supermutant behemoths around like ragdolls. Oh and Sparky drop by the studio next time you’re in the neighborhood I’ve always wanted to meet a unicorn. Now back to the music

“Wow Sparky you got your very own radio broadcast.” Ethan told her with a grin.

“I feel so honored.” Twilight replied dryly.

“He even got your nickname right.” Ethan told her with a smile.

“Great now everyone will call me Sparky.” Twilight said with a groan.

“Not that, I mean Twilight Sparkle. Who would give their kid a name that ridicules? It must be a nickname!” Ethan told her with a laugh. She threw another can at him.

Day 5 part 2/A

Day 5 part 2/A

Day 5 part 2/A

They had lapsed into silence and Twilight once again had a faraway look in her eyes.

“Hey Sparky I’ve told you a lot about my past, but you haven’t really told me much about yours.” Ethan said as they walked.

“Hmm?” Twilight asked (she was paying more attention to what Ethan said after last time)

“I mean what was your life like back home, did you have any friends?” Ethan asked.

“Yes I had friends.” Twilight said sounding slightly annoyed.

“Tell me about them then.” Ethan told her with.

“Why do you want to know?” Twilight asked him.

“Because if I have to listen to Butcher Pete one more time on this walk I think I’ll go insane.” Ethan replied with a chuckle.

“Okay then. I had five close friends plus Spike who pretty much acts as a little brother, if my little brother was a dragon.” Twilight told him.

“Cool, so what’re your friends like?” He asked her.

“They’re the best; I know that if I’m in ever trouble that I can call on them to see me through anything.” Twilight answered.

“Which would you want next you in a firefight?” Ethan asked catching Twilight off-guard. She was silent for a few minutes before answering.

“Rarity.” Twilight said.

“Why?” Ethan asked.

“She’s usually very calm and good under pressure, besides her family is old military and although she may hate dirt and grime I know for a fact that she’s been through basic training.” Twilight answered eventually.

“What’s her dayjob?” Ethan asked.

“She’s a fashion designer.” Twilight replied idly while her eyes scanned the area around them for threats (it was amazing how fast she’d begun to do it unconsciously).

“That’s a profession?” Ethan asked with a chuckle.

“Of course it’s a profession Ethan, we haven’t destroyed our world.” Twilight replied with a shrug.

“give it time, sooner or later I’m sure that you’ll manage to find someone to wage a genocidal war on.” Ethan told her with a smirk. Twilight glared at him. “I’m joking Sparky.” Ethan told her with a grin.

“You don’t joke about genocide Ethan; it’s a very serious problem.” Twilight scolded him.

“The way I look at it no one I know would be alive without it so technically I have friends thanks to the apocalypse.” Ethan told her. “And besides the Wasteland creates such awesome people.” Ethan added with a chuckle as he shot a raider with his magnum.

“And raiders.” Twilight told him archly.

“Yeah but without them I’d only have mutants and the Enclave to kill.” Ethan replied with a shrug.

***

“Okay this is it, we’re going to break through their offensive line and then lead a counterattack!” Sarah called over the sound of gunfire, lasers, and supermutant screams. The rest of the Pride nodded grimly as they readied their weapons and made last second armor checks. “This is we draw the line, not one more Brotherhood soldier will die today, are you with me?” the rest pride roared in approval as the metal gate of the Citadel rose open revealing a horde of supermutants who let out bestial screams as they charged. The Pride’s weapons began to glow as they prepared to unleash hell. This is of course when Ethan showed up.

***

Ethan announced himself on the battlefield in typical Ethan fashion.

***

“What was that?” Twilight shouted as Ethan put away the MIRV . A large portion of the supermutants near them had disappeared into a glowing green light that reminded Twilight of the light she’d seen when her spell had brought her to the Wasteland in the first place. A severed mutant head flew through the air trailing blood, the blood of course landed directly across Twilight’s face.

“That was the MIRV .” Ethan said a as he withdrew another large weapon from his bag and began to assemble it as the supermutants turned to contemplate the man in imposing powerarmor and the purple unicorn who was busy wiping the blood from her face in annoyance. “It was a bitch to get but it makes up for it by being one hell of a BFG.” He said as his hands rapidly screwed long tubes into the body of a gun that looked like the one that Fawkes had used, except this one was bigger. A supermutant charged them screaming in fury just as Ethan finished assembling the weapon. With a large (and slightly bloodthirsty) smile Ethan pulled down the trigger to his weapon and after a few second of warm up the gun leapt to life in a beam of orange light.

The mutant continued its charge until the beam slammed through its stomach leaving a wide gaping hole, twenty more mutants charged. Meanwhile Twilight had closed her eyes and activated the Princess’s spell. With a slight tingle Twilight felt her mind splinter into three equal pieces (One, Two, and Three) each one assigning themselves a position to watch over during the fight. One took up the designator and the plasma rifle which rose into the air and began to fire at the hoard. Two took over Twilight’s shield spells and projected a dozen small shields that began to spin around her deflecting bullets and laser rifle shot. Three did everything else, like talk and remember the fact that they could only keep up the spell for an hour at the most after which they would collapse in exhaustion.

“You know Ethan I’ve been thinking lately…” Twilight number Three began as she unleashed a hail of alien fire.

“Always a dangerous profession Sparky.” Ethan quipped as he cut another mutant in half with a beam of light.

“…your god must really love stupid things, just look at how many he made!” She finished with a shout as her alien bolt blasted through an oncoming mutant. The other two parts of Twilight congratulated Three on her witty comment as they went about the business of killing muties.

Ethan glanced at Twilight who was in full glowing eyed magical unicorn mode and chuckled, it looked like he was going to win that bet with his wife about who could get the oddest but most deadly companion. Then he returned to unleashing a deadly stream of lasers into the mutants. Heads were cut off, as were arms, and of course the occasional leg as Vengeance purred in his grasp. An overlord unleashed its own gatling laser on Ethan but his armor absorbed the shots and used them to power the external shields which were busy deflecting assault rifle fire as the mutants attempted to destroy him with sheer weight of numbers.

Meanwhile Two was having the time of her (metaphorical) life, she’d discovered that she could redirect the oncoming bullets so that instead of just bouncing off harmlessly they instead bounced off at an angle so that they shot into the mutants scouring large red holes in their fleshy green frames. Two scrunched up her (once again metaphorical) face as a overlord opened up on her with its gatling laser the beams smashing into her shields, it seemed that the beams were traveling at a different speed then normal bullets or normal laser. Two frowned (metaphorically) and searched for a way to turn the beams to her advantage, she found it and after a few seconds of intense thinking put the technique into action. The overlord’s face was sliced off as Two refracted his own gatling laser away from herself.

Ethan had decided that it was time to give Vengeance a rest and instead reached into his pack and withdrew his ever trusty heavy incinerator. With a (slightly crazy) laugh he unleashed the burning balls of napalm at the mutants. The first two ranks of mutants died a rapid death as the burning napalm slipped over them coating them in the burning liquid charbroiling them. The ones behind them fared no better as the convection and heat from the other flames rushed around them causing their skin to blister and burst while they choked on the searing smoke. Three noticed this and immediately told Two too cover their nostrils and mouth with smoke proof shields, Two scoffed and said that she’d already done it. A loud roar suddenly shook the battlefield and a behemoth charged towards the two warriors who had already amassed an absurdly high body count. Ethan motioned for Twilight to cover him as he put away his incinerator and drew his MAC (otherwise known as Isaac).

Isaac was originally a tesla cannon but Ethan and Cassandra had decided to combine two of their favorite weapons (the tesla cannon and the gauss rifle respectively) and they’d transformed a simple tesla cannon into a monstrous beast of a weapon that was twice as large as the original frame. Instead of normal ammo the MAC took specially designed balls of solid steel that were charged electrically before being subjected to the power of four intense magnets and being shot out of the head of the weapon at immense speeds capable of tearing through up to twenty feet of solid concrete. Unfortunately it was extremely impractical to use normally because the only way it could be fired without the recoil killing the shooter was in a suit of extremely heavy powerarmor, even so it would knock Ethan off his feet when he fired it.

The behemoth drew closer screaming its rage and fury as it prepared to crush Ethan and Twilight beneath its mighty fists. Ethan calmly entered VATS and lined up a headshot. He pulled the trigger with a grin as the extremely fast ball of steel shot out of Isaac’s barrel even as it sent him flying backwards. The electrified ball smashed into the behemoth’s face sending out an incredibly bright flash of light as it cut the mutant’s head in half and sent shockwaves crawling over the giant as it fell into the other mutants crushing several dozen and passing on electricity to still others. All three of Twilight’s minds suddenly stopped what they were doing for a split second and entered VATS so that One could line up a better shot, Two could catch Ethan, and Three could just marvel at the destruction that Ethan had wrought with a single shot.

Ethan winced expecting to hit the ground but was instead happily surprised to find that he was instead wrapped in Twilight’s magic. With an grin Ethan hopped forward and drew out one of the Blades of the West that Cassandra had loaned him and charged the mutants with an almost bestial roar. He reached their lines and immediately chopped one of the mutants in half with a powerful strike. He turned to the right and slashed another mutant in half (this time separating the upper and lower body instead of a down the vertical center). Another mutant rose up charging with a super sledge and Ethan sliced through the metal handle with practiced ease before decapitating the mutant.

Twilight meanwhile had become a purple whirlwind of death as all three of her minds worked in perfect harmony to create an unstoppable killing machine. Of course all three recognized that the second that the battle was over Twilight would feel disgusted that she’d taken so much life, but for the moment those thoughts didn’t concern them. Two unleashed a surge of magic that swept mutants away as magical energy ate away at their flesh. Three caused them to jump back rapidly as a missile streaked towards the ground in front of them and Two supplied a forcefield to absorb the force and heat of the explosion.

Ethan had switched to unarmed combat, although that may not have been the best term for it. Ethan’s powerarmored fist swung at a mutant’s skull and smashed it to a pulp. With a calm pivot Ethan turned and jabbed his fist into a mutant’s chest crushing several ribs as he did so. Then with a chuckle he activated one of his personal favorite modifications on the armor. He sent a flying strike at a supermutant overlord who came barreling towards him but stopped an inch away from the mutant’s face. The mutant looked puzzled but it didn’t have time to think about it because seconds later Ethan extended his middle finger. There was a quiet click that only someone with incredibly sharp hearing could have heard and suddenly a thin streak of high intensity energy shot out of Ethan’s middle finger cleanly creating a small circular hole in the middle of the mutants head.

“God I love this armor so much.” Ethan said with a chuckle.

“Admire yourself later kill mutants now.” Three shouted at him as she leapt backwards to avoid an oncoming mutant. Ethan let out a chuckle as he grabbed Jack the Ripper from his waist and sawed his way through a supermutant’s chest starting low and moving up as he demolished lungs and ribs.

“You know I was going to make a full length sword version of this but Cassandra said it would be useless.” Ethan told Twilight conversationally as he sliced his way through a mutants neck in a tremendous shower of blood.

“Ethan I’m kind of busy here.” Three said as she sent a group of mutants flying with a wave of force, when they hit the mutants behind them both parties’ bodies exploded in a shower of gore.

“To be honest I also wanted to mount a chainsaw on my laser rifle but Cassandra talked me out of that one too.” Ethan said in a light tone as he sliced through a mutant’s stomach. They had be walking through the mutant ranks as they’d been killing and with a slight start Ethan noticed that they weren’t far away from Sarah Lyons.

“It took you long enough!” Sarah shouted over the overwhelming sound of gunfire.

“Sorry I was busy getting kidnapped.” Ethan shouted back as he sawed through a mutant’s arm.

“Why does that always happen to you?” Sarah shouted as she blasted a hole through a mutant’s head.

“I’ve been wondering that too.” Ethan replied with a shrug as he gave a mutant the finger.

“What the hell happened to her?” Sarah asked jerking her thumb at Twilight who was currently redirecting the flow from two gatling lasers so that they cut deep holes through the mutant lines.

“Some new spell or something.” Ethan replied with a shrug as he unhooked Vengeance from his back and turned it against the mutants cutting down dozens before he switched to his Tesla cannon.

“So Ethan when exactly are you going to give us the schematics for that armor?” Sarah asked conversationally as a missile flew by them and impacted against the wall of the Citadel with a boom.

“Sarah you wouldn’t be able to produce a suit why would you want the schematics?” Ethan asked with a chuckle as he sent stream after stream of bright blue light at the mutants, it was an old argument between the two of them.

“That armor is a technological marvel Ethan and the brotherhood should at least be allowed to try and create their own suits.” Sarah replied with a small amount of venom while she unleashed a rapid burst of laser fire into a mutant’s chest. Twilight’s body suddenly went ridged and she flopped to the ground into unconsciousness. The spell had eaten up all of her magical and physical energy far faster then she’d been expecting so she ended up lying in front of a charging overlord.

“Dammit Sparky!” Ethan shouted as he sprinted forward and smashed his fist into the overlord’s chest sending it flying away from the unconscious mare.

He scooped Twilight up with one arm and ran back towards the Pride who were holding their own against the mutants. “Sarah I need to get her somewhere safe, do you think they’d open the gate for me?” Ethan asked and Sarah nodded silently while she concentrated on killing the overlord charging towards her. Ethan nodded and sprinted towards the gate of the Citadel he knocked on it using a specific pattern and it raised just enough to allow him access. He was greeted by a slightly wild-eyed initiate.

“Take her inside and put her in my bed, oh and make sure the scribes don’t dissect her while she’s out.” Ethan said with before pushing the unconscious mare into the initiate’s arms and sprinting back onto the battlefield.

“Ethan we can’t keep this up much longer there are just too many of them!” Sarah shouted as she shot a mutant’s head off.

“I’ve got a plan.” Ethan replied as he pulled out a small target locating device and pointed it at the approaching mutants. “You may want to cover your ears.” Ethan advised with a chuckle before he painted the center of the mutant army in a red light. A few seconds passed and nothing happened, then there was a slight whistling sound and when Sarah looked up she saw a few dozen large missiles streaking in from the sky.

“Where did you get that?!” Sarah shouted as she watched the missiles descend.

“In one of those old satellite towers, some idiot ghoul was trying to get it to blow up the Citadel.” Ethan called back right before the missiles hit the ground and detonated.

The world around them suddenly became obscured by a great flash of light and a deafening shockwave of noise. When they could see again they discovered that the supermutant army had been reduced by around six hundred mutants and the few who were left alive had already begun to flee.

“And my wife says that she has the deadliest artillery.” Ethan said with a chuckle.

-Level up 11
-bloody mess added

Day 5 part 2/B

Day 5 part 2/B

Cassandra had been having a busy two days. First she’d gotten Boone and the two of them had gone up to the Hill and crucified a few legionnaires as an example before moving onto the ones who would have the information that they actually wanted. It had taken four hours to break the head centurion and even two days later Cassandra could still feel his blood staining her hands, but that was for her to worry about later. Then they’d killed the rest and left them for the crows. Some said that the Courier was a heartless bitch; to some extent they weren’t wrong. She’d do whatever it took to keep the people that she cared about safe even if it meant killing half a dozen innocent boys who had been indoctrinated into Legion killers.

However she only did what was necessary and she never enjoyed it. Every once and a while she saw the faces of the people she’d killed in her dreams and it hurt, the worst were the children. More than once she’d awoken crying as the faces of those she’d killed silently beseeched her asking why she’d killed them, begging for a good reason or justification. It was on these nights that she was the most thankful for Ethan’s presence and his strong protective arms along with his inherent almost unshakable humor. Oh Cassandra knew that in any other time period her husband would’ve been considered a fool, or perhaps just a little bit crazy. But out here in the Wasteland you needed to be either just a bit crazy or just a bit heartless to survive and Cassandra wished that she could’ve been the first.

“Contemplating our navels are we?” Arcade Gannon asked as the three companions walked along the route.

“Just doing some thinking.” Cassandra replied quietly.

“About what Cass?” Veronica asked curiously.

“My life and what it’s become.” Cassandra replied with a sigh. “Did you know that when I was younger I used to want to be out here?” She added with an ironic chuckle.

“Ah the foolishness of youth, didn’t we all?” Arcade asked with a small smile.

“I know that I did, then again growing up with the Brotherhood’ll do that to you.” Veronica said with a shrug.

“Yeah but it’s not the same with me, unlike the two of you I had a real life, a family who loved me and the safety of civilization all around me. And yet I became a Courier in spite of all that I had.” Cassandra continued with a sigh.

“Cassandra you’re the queen of a city who possesses more capital and technology then the NCR and the
Brotherhood put together, not to sound like an ass but you sound like an ass.” Arcade said with a chuckle.

“Oh no I’m not saying that I’m ungrateful, and I’m also not saying that I’d trade the life that I live now for the life that I would’ve lived if I’d stayed back home, I was just commenting on how stupid I was when I first came out here expecting to go on exotic adventures and have handsome men falling over themselves to give me whatever I wanted.” Cassandra replied which got a chuckle out of all of them.

“I had almost the same dream once; except for me it was beautiful women.” Veronica said with a smirk.

“How about you Arcade, did you have any fantasies?” Cassandra asked with a chuckle.

“I did actually, I envisioned myself at the head of an army that would wipe every mutated creature off of the map and restore the good old US of A while half a dozen muscular naked men held onto my legs for protection.” Arcade said dryly while he pretended to wave a flag patriotically getting a laugh out of his two companions.

“Ah yes whatever happened to that dream?” Veronica asked with a smirk.

“I realized that the rest of my family were moronic idiots who were to blinded by their beliefs to see how self-destructive they were.” Arcade said giving the Brotherhood member a smirk.

“Hey at least our faction in D.C. came to its senses where as yours got destroyed by one man.” Veronica shot back with a tiny amount of venom in her voice.

“Children please, mommy is very tired.” Cassandra told them breaking up their argument as the two of them broke into laughter.

“Does mommy need me to get her special bottle for her?” Veronica asked with a smirk.

“No I’m good.” Cassandra replied dryly.

“Good because the last time…” Arcade began before he was cut off by Veronica kicking him soundly in the leg as they were walking almost causing the ex-Enclave member to do a face plant. “I mean yeah never mind…” He said trialing off as he realized how stupid what he was about to say had been. Instead of being angry with him Cassandra only let out a long sigh and moved her red bangs out of her eyes.

“Don’t worry about it guys, I gave up the Party Time Mentats.” She said and despite herself she found a small part of her mind craving the boost in intelligence and charisma that the drugs offered. Then she grabbed that part of herself by the hair and smashed its teeth into the nearby sidewalk. She was never traveling down that road ever again.

The three companions fell into an easy silence as they neared their destination. What they were heading towards was a secret project that Cassandra had had her securitrons construct. As she walked into the unremarkable shack she subconsciously felt the large array of scanners running over her body and she just barely managed to suppress a shiver. Arcade and Veronica meanwhile stood quietly both used to such scans after a lifetime of living inside technological bunkers. Once the scan was done a small light above a locker turned green and the three continued forward until they reached the locker and Cassandra pulled the door open. The inside of the locker was the silvery color of stainless steel and a small console was embedded in the side of it. With expert precision Cassandra punched in the correct code and there was a slight rumble from behind her. With a smile on her face Cassandra turned to examine the newly opened hole in the floor.

With a small smile Cassandra walked down the well-lit corridor with Veronica and Arcade flanking her. On their way to their destination they passed countless storerooms full of food, medical supplies, fuel, and weapons of all verities. It had taken her years to fill all of them but she was very happy that she had. This was one of her four main hideouts in the wasteland and anyone who planned on taking it would have to go up against tech scavenged from just about everywhere, Ethan had even let her take one of the undamaged reactors from that alien mothership that he had floating in orbit around the planet.

After a few minutes of walking they arrived at their destination. It was a hanger bay for her personal vertibird. Scattered around the room were large crates of supplies and fuel that had been pushed into cover positions just in case. In the center of the room sat a blue vertibird, it had been Ethan’s wedding present and she’d accepted it gladly.

He’d told her to meet him on a hill to watch the sunset together she’d waited for half an hour before deciding that he must have forgotten and then just as she’d turned her back she heard the sound of chopper blades. Cassandra had turned around to see the sky blue vertibird descending towards her just as the sun finished setting. Then he’d jumped out of it grabbed her in his arms and asked her if she wanted to join the mile high club… With a slight smile at the memory Cassandra began to check the engines of the plane while Arcade and Veronica looked over the rest. When they were recently sure that they wouldn’t blow up in midair a few seconds after launch the three piled in and Cassandra took up the pilot’s seat while Arcade took the co-pilot’s seat next to her.

“So just checking, we know for a fact that the Legion have given up their plans for Vegas right?” Arcade asked cautiously.

“Yes, I’m positive.” Cassandra said as she activated the engines.

“So the only place that they have left is D.C. which is why we’re heading there to warn Ethan.” Arcade continued.

“Yes…” Cassandra said wondering where he was going with this.

“A job that could be completed just as easily by sending him a message.” Arcade said.

“Well I want to make sure that he takes it seriously.” Cassandra said.

“Yes I’m sure that that’s the only reason why we’re going.” Arcade said getting to the point.

“Arcade, are you saying that I’m traveling all this way just to see Ethan?” Cassandra asked imperiously.

“Oh no no, not at all.” The blonde man replied dryly while adjusting his glasses. “Not that I don’t think that it’s perfectly reasonable, if I had a handsome man waiting for me I’d see him as much as I could.” Arcade told her with a shrug.

“I wish there was someone I could talk about beautiful women that way, but Boone never talks about them and Cass is always so loud about it.” Veronica said with a frown.

“Don’t worry Veronica I’m sure you’ll find some nice girl to sweep you off your feet sooner or later.” Cassandra replied giving her friend a smile.

“I hope so because I haven’t had anything twixt my nethers wasn’t run on batteries in over a year.” Veronica replied with a grin in Arcade’s direction.

“Thanks I needed that.” Arcade replied dryly.

***

“Sister I found it!” Luna shouted as she burst into Celestia’s bedroom during the middle of the night.

“Found what Luna?” Celestia mumbled her mind addled with sleep.

“I found it!” Luna repeated ecstatically.

“What?” Celestia grumbled as she sat up in bed (She’d now concluded that her sister was not going to go away).

“I FOUND THE DIMENSION WHERE TWILIGHT IS!” Luna shouted in the Royal Canterlot voice as loudly as she could. The metaphysical slap to the face woke Celestia up faster than a bucket of ice water (also it included much less swearing on the solar alicorn’s part).

“You did, where?” Celestia asked desperately.

“It is not a pleasant place sister.” Luna replied solemnly.

“I didn’t ask how it was, I asked where was it.” Celestia said her eyes narrowing.

“It is a place called the Wasteland Tia if it wasn’t for the fact that I could feel her I’d have given up hope the second that I landed there. As it is something’s preventing me from incorporeally interacting with her but I can’t get an exact lock on her location.” Luna said with a frown.

“What do you mean something’s blocking you?” Celestia asked.

“I mean that something just as powerful as we are is preventing me from finding her unless I go in person, which is something that I cannot.” Luna said with a grimace.

“You’re telling me that there’s a god keeping us from getting to her?” Celestia asked narrowing her eyes.

“Yes, as far as I can tell that’s the case.” Luna replied with a dark expression.

“Shit.” Celestia said eloquently. “Is there anything else we can do?” Celestia asked.

“Actually yes, it appears that there is enough of an opening for us to send one pony in to find her and keep her safe.” Luna said with a smile.

“Excellent, who do you think we should send?” Celestia asked.

“We both know the answer to that.” Luna said with a smile. “You can come in now.” She called over her shoulder.

Shining Armor stepped into the room wearing a suit of steel armor, although it struck Celestia as unusual because it lacked the usual gold paint along with the typical helmet. Shining had a determined expression on his face and Celestia knew immediately that she would never be able to convince him not to go. On his back was a war saddle filled with supplies and at his hip was a long sword.

“Are you prepared for a journey of this type?” Celestia asked the stallion who nodded once.

“With your leave my Princess.” He replied solemnly.

“And have you talked to Cadence about this?” Celestia asked, Shining’s resolve cracked for a few seconds but then he nodded.

“Yes, she saw me off and told me that if I died then she’d find a way to bring me back to life just so she could beat the crap out of me for leaving her and failing Twilight.” Shining Said with a slight nervous chuckle.

“Pregnancy, I’m so glad that I swore off that centuries ago.” Luna said with a chuckle.

“Sister you were on the moon centuries ago and I seem to remember you having dozens of technical descendants last time I checked the official records.” Celestia said with a puzzled look on her face.

“Well yes back then, but on the moon I decided that it wasn’t worth the hassle.” Luna replied with a shrug. Shining Armor cleared his throat in an attempt to get the two immortals back on topic.

“Yes well anyways are you positive that you are ready for this Shining Armor?” Celestia asked and the stallion nodded swiftly.

“Very well then you have my blessing, bring Twilight Sparkle back alive….” Celestia told him the unspoken words or else were very clear.

“Okay Shining when you find Twilight try and contact me through your dreams, meanwhile I’ll try and find a way to remove whatever barrier is blocking us.” Luna said before she touched her horn to the unicorn’s head and he vanished in a flash of green light.

“I hope this works.” Celestia said wearily.

“I’m sure he’ll be fine Tia, after all what’s the worst that could happen?” Luna asked with a shrug.

***

Shining Armor appeared in the middle of a Legion camp.

***

Celestia slapped her sister for saying those six words.

***

“Hey Arcade wake up.” Cassandra said as she poked the sleeping ex-Enclave member.

“Why thank you I’d love to help you two g-” Before Arcade could get any farther into whatever he was going to say Veronica came up from behind him and slapped the back of his neck. “What the hell!” He shouted in surprise before turning around to give Veronica a dirty look.

“Oh you’re awake, would you mind telling me if Veronica are imagining the fact that we see a white unicorn surrounded by a force field that’s being shot at by Legion?” Cassandra asked pointing at the battle in progress.

“Well that’s something you don’t see every day.” Arcade mused. “We’re recuing it aren’t we?” He asked.

“Of course we’re rescuing it, it’s a UNICORN!” Veronica gushed.

“I’ll get my armor.”

***

Shining Armor was surrounded by bipeds who were firing some kind of kinetic weapons at him while they shouted at him in ancient Canterlot. From what he could remember from his old lessons they were essentially saying ‘come out and face the might of the legion, along with the ever pleasant sounding things that they said that they’d do to his anus’. His shield had held so far but he wasn’t sure how much longer it would last when under fire from these weapons. Just as the first drop of sweat began to inch its way down his forehead there was a loud thumping sound from above along with the sound of someone shouting.

“Banzai!” A female voice shouted as a white armored shape emerged from the air and landed on top of one of the other bipeds fist first there was a loud explosion and then the other biped was sent crumpling to the ground. “Bring it on you sexiest hypocritical pigs!” The white armored figure shouted as she punched into another of Shining’s attackers blasting a
hole through his chest.

“Veronica more killing less shouting!” Another female shouted from above. Shining craned his neck and saw that another figure was jumping out of a large blue flying vehicle.

“How did I miss that?” Shining muttered to himself while he let out a slight sigh of relief, he didn’t know who these people were but they hadn’t tried to kill him yet so that was good enough for him.

“Hey you alright in there?” The newest voice shouted over the sound of gunfire (and Veronica shouting war cries).

“I’m just peachy thanks, how about you?” Shining called back and the new figure wearing a duster chuckled lightly.

“I’m great. So would you like an assist?”

“Sure I’d love for somepony to explain what’s going on, but aren’t they shooting at you?” Shining asked in concern as her heard the shells impact against the figure’s armor.

“I’ll be fine; can you hold on long enough for my friend and I to kill these Legions pricks?” The figure asked.

“Go right ahead, I can keep this shield up for another hour.” Shining replied, really he was overselling it but he needed to appear strong in front of these people.

“Be right back.” The figure replied before pulling out a pistol.

Cassandra idly wondered about the odds of a unicorn speaking perfect English but decided that it was best not to dwell on it at the moment and with a battle cry of her own she charged the Legion firing her favorite pistol shining a light in the darkness of the night.

***

“You sure that you’re okay?” Veronica asked him once they were done with some very interesting introductions.

“Yes I’m a soldier; to be honest this wasn’t even the most exciting battle I’ve ever been in.” Shining replied with a shrug.

“Great, so if you don’t mind me asking what brings a talking magical unicorn to the Wasteland?” Cassandra asked her voice was friendly but there was a slight edge to it.

“I’m here looking for my sister Twilight Sparkle, and my locator spell is telling me that she’s East.” Shining Armor replied.

“Twenty caps says that she’s already with Ethan.” Arcade said.

“Who?” Shining asked in bewilderment.

“My husband, no offence but if something weird happens on the East coast my husband is probably involved in some way.” Cassandra said with a slight sigh.

“So she’s safe right?” Shining asked.

“Well with Ethan there are only two different states of existence, completely safe, or really really close to death.” Veronica said from where she was sitting across from Shining.

“Then we have to get to her!” Shining exclaimed.

“Don’t worry Shining we’ll get you there in time, besides we were headed there anyways.” Cassandra replied with a slight shrug.

“Is it just me or is this entirely too coincidental?” Arcade muttered, no one heard him. “Just me then I guess.”

Day 6 part 1

Day 6 part 1

“Hey Ethan I’ve been wondering something.” Twilight said as they walked along the now fairly familiar stretch of destroyed highway that led from the Citadel to Megaton which was their first destination.

Ethan needed to put his powerarmor away so it could charge along go through some minor repairs. He also wanted to drop off some of his heavier weapons, and resupply their water supplies.

“What’s that Sparky?” Ethan asked absently as he scanned the nearby buildings for threats.

“Well there’s a name that I’ve heard thrown around a few times, and it almost sounds like someone referring to Celestia.” Twilight replied.

“You mean god?” Ethan asked but Twilight shook her head.

“No, that’s self-explanatory, I’m wondering who this Jesus guy was.” Twilight said with a frown. “I mean the way that people say his name makes him sound godlike but you already have a god who you’re people creatively call God.” Twilight added with a smirk.

“Or Allah depending on where you live.” Ethan replied with a shrug.

“I hadn’t heard that but my question remains, who was Jesus?” She asked.

“Well he was the son of god sent down from Heaven to help humanity overcome its problems.” Ethan replied.

“What happened to him?” Twilight asked

“We crucified him.” Ethan replied.

“You crucified the son of your god!” Twilight shouted in surprise.

“Yeah we’re kind of like that…” Ethan said trailing off with a slight sigh.

“How did your species even evolve?” Twilight asked staring at Ethan in shock.

“By making tools and killing everything in our way.” Ethan replied with a shrug.

“Ethan if I ever get back to Equestria I’m finding a way to bring you with me, and then I’m going to teach you about loving and tolerating.” Twilight said with a sigh.

“Twilight need I remind you about the substantial head count that you’ve accumulated in under a week?” Ethan asked her making Twilight frown.

“That’s not the same; if I hadn’t killed them they would’ve eaten me!” Twilight told him angrily.

“Sparky I only kill when I absolutely have to, you don’t need to lecture me on tolerating and I definitely don’t need any help loving, just ask my wife.” Ethan replied with a smirk.

“Fine, I’m just saying that if somepony crucified one of Celestia or Luna’s children… well I’m not sure what they’d do but it would be worse than crucifying.” Twilight replied with a dark frown.

“I thought you said that they couldn’t have children.” Ethan said.

“No, it’s not that they can’t have children it’s that they usually avoid it. Immortality doesn’t transfer down the bloodlines unless the child is conceived between two immortals, and considering that the only male immortal is a god of chaos and disharmony… Well anyways there are a few royal bloodlines left out there but they try and avoid having children, not only would it upset the balance of power among the nobles but watching your children grow old and die is worse than watching your husband or lover die. Or at least that’s what Celestia told me when I asked her about it; it would also explain why Celestia is attracted to mares.” Twilight said with a shrug.

“Hmm, yeah that would make sense Sparky, you’re still going to take her up on her offer right?” Ethan asked and Twilight nodded emphatically.

“Ethan if I get out of this place alive I’m marching straight up to the palace and demanding that she-”

“I get the point Sparky, although if you want my advice I’d suggest something a tad bit more romantic.” Ethan told her with a chuckle, Twilight blushed when he brain thought about what she’d been about to say.

“You may be right about that, any suggestions?” Twilight asked.

“Yeah, do something simple.” Ethan told her with a smile.

“That’s it?” Twilight asked.

“Sparky from what you’ve told me she’s a god who has lived for centuries if not longer, I’m sure that she’s seen every fancy magic trick in existence. Honestly I’d try a simple ‘I love you’ but that’s just my opinion.” He replied with a shrug before a ray of light shot out of his middle finger and cut a raider’s head in half. “God I love doing that.” Ethan told her with a chuckle.

***

“So master what delightful place are you going now?” Wadsworth asked dryly as Ethan and Twilight entered the house.

“First we’re going to Arefu because it’s been a while since I last saw Vance and I have a ton of blood packs for him. Then we’re going to Fort Bannister to interrogate Commander Jabsco about who put the hit on Twilight.” Ethan replied with a shrug.

“Ah Arefu, would you like you’re cape sir?” Wadsworth asked as he floated over to Help Ethan remove his powerarmor.

“What a vonderful idea Wadsworth, I’m sure Vance will appreciate it if I approach vim as a vellow creature of ze night!” Ethan replied with a giant smile.

“Oh lord what have I done?” Wadsworth asked.

“Wadsworth why is he talking like that?” Twilight asked in confusion.

“Because he thinks he’s clever.”

“Oh hush you two I was joking.” Ethan said with a smirk as he put on his duster with a sigh. “My armor is amazing, but I always feel the best in my duster, it’s just so much easier to breathe in it.” He added with a contented smile.

“You sound like AJ after she finishes modeling for Rarity.” Twilight said with a chuckle at the thought of her two friends.

“Hmm?” Ethan asked as he went over to the gun locker.

“Applejack, she’s one of my friends.” Twilight explained as she joined him by the weapon’s locker. “By the way do you have something else I can use, no offense but I don’t like the feel of the disintegrator, it just feels to… plastic?” Twilight asked nervusly not wanting to offend Ethan.

“Sure Sparky let’s see what I’ve got.” Ethan said before pulling open the weapon’s locker door. “Alright I think it’s time you had a little upgrade.” Ethan said taking her disintegrator and her plasma rifle.

“You mean there are better things then a gun that shoots star matter and a weapon from an alien spaceship?” Twilight asked raising an eyebrow doubtfully.

“Well this baby can melt a hole through solid steel in under a minuet and this little bastard can dissolve a raider in .2 seconds.” Ethan said handing her a short boxy tri-beam laser rifle and a plasma defender.

He quickly walked her through the use and modifications of both weapons before selecting a new weapon for himself; it was a 12.7mm submachine gun with an extended magazine and a laser sight attachment.

“Okay Wadsworth we’ll be back later.” Ethan said giving the robot a wave.

“Oh I look forward to it.” Wadsworth replied.

***

“So you want me to kill a unicorn?” The woman asked with a frown.

“She’s proven to an unexpected and effective thorn in our side.” The man with a broken nose said with a dark look.

“I came to kill the Wanderer.” She said with a frown.

“Yes and now I’m paying you to kill both.” The man with the broken nose said.

“Those were the words that I was waiting for you to say!” The woman said before throwing back her head and
letting out an insane laugh.

Her black hair fell about her face in a wild display. She had the kind of dimples that melted the heart of every man who saw her, but her eyes revealed the almost insane soul of someone who had long ago given up on their humanity and cast it to the side. At around seven foot five she was much taller than the average waster but she added even more height to the equation with a pair of black high heels. A set of black leather armor that managed to reveal just enough skin to attract eyes but not enough to provide you with anything other than a glance that left you wanting covered her body.

On her head was a red hat with a wide rim that reminded the man with the broken nose of the one his old partner Eulogy Jones used to ware. Strapped to her back was a large missile launcher and at her side was a grenade launcher. She smiled and sharp predatory teeth poked out their perfectly white heads and seemed to laugh at the man with the broken nose who was beginning to get turned on despite himself.

“See something you like?” She asked leaning closer to him showing off her cleavage.

“Maybe once you’ve killed the Wanderer and the unicorn, if you can of course.” The man with the broken nose replied.

“I’m Alexandra Supertramp, he’ll be dead in three days.” The Supertramp replied with a smirk that would chill the blood in the veins of almost anyone alive, instead the man with the broken nose only found himself more attracted.

“When are you leaving?” The man with the broken nose asked.

“Right now, the last reports had him leaving Megaton; you can count on me Mister Burke.” The Supertramp said giving Burke an insane smile and a lazy salute.

“We’ll see…”

***

“Ethan, I wasn’t expecting you.” Vance said giving Ethan a half bow.

“Don’t worry about it Vance, I’m on my way to utterly destroy half of the Talons and I just wanted to make sure that everything was okay in Arefu.” Ethan replied with a shrug before tossing Vance a box of blood packs, the stoic man caught the big crate easily in one arm; maybe he was onto something with the whole blood drinking thing after all.

“I see. You travel in interesting company Ethan, very interesting.” Vance said coming closer to Twilight and getting down on one knee to inspect her closer.

“This is Sparky, Sparky this is Vance leader of the Family and protector of the settlement of Arefu.” Ethan said giving introductions.

“Call me Twilight please.” Twilight said offering him her hoof which he shook with the abnormally strong callused grip of someone who had spent years wielding a sword.

“It is an honor Miss Twilight.” Vance replied rising back to his feet and giving her a small bow.

“Thank you Vance, do I smell something on your breath?” Twilight asked as her nostrils suddenly detected the fact that the scent of blood seemed to permeate the air around the man. Vance nodded slowly.

“That you do, it is my affliction to bear and to help others deal with.” Vance replied coolly.

“It was good seeing you again Vance, we’ll check back in on our way back.” Ethan said cutting off whatever Twilight was going to say.

“I look forward to it my friend.” Vance said before he began to stride back towards the town. They walked down the ramp in silence and began to walk in the direction of Fort Bannister before she asked.

“Ethan why did he smell like blood?”

“Because Vance is a vampire.” Ethan replied with a tiny sigh, Twilight gasped.

“AND YOU’RE FRIENDS WITH HIM?!” She shouted. “Ethan vampires are pure evil, begins formed from darkness and nightmares to plague the living and destroy the champions of light!” She added almost as loudly while giving Ethan an astonished stare.

“Let me explain Sparky he’s not a vampire in the sense that you’re thinking of. You see Vance was once an actual cannibal, in other words he ate human flesh for sustenance, that’s a big no no here. But he hated himself for doing it to the point where he was driven to commit suicide, luckily he failed. After that he wandered around confused looking for a way to save himself from what he’d become, eventually he decided that instead of eating human flesh he would drink human blood.” Ethan said before pausing for breath.

“That doesn’t make it any better really.” Twilight pointed out.

“Let me finish Sparky. Anyways he eventually founded his own little settlement for reformed cannibals (or vampires as they started calling themselves) inside an old subway tunnel system. Now they subsist off the blood from blood packs instead of normal blood and help protect the people of Arefu.” Ethan finished.

“So just to be clear he isn’t going to disappear into a cloud of bats, or sparkle in the sunlight is he?” Twilight asked.

“Nope he’s human, and what’s this about vampires sparkling?” Ethan asked.

“You don’t want to know.” Twilight said with a blush.

Day 6 part 2/A

Day 6 part2

Ethan and Twilight were crouched atop a ledge that gave them a perfect view of the Fort Bannister. Below them Talon Company mercs patrolled the grounds lazily barely paying any attention to their surroundings. Ethan was lying on his stomach looking through the scope of his silenced anti material. Twilight was lying next to him using a pair of binoculars.

“What’s the plan Ethan?” Twilight asked.

“We can do this the quiet way or we can do it the loud way, you’re choice.” Ethan replied simply.

“I’d prefer the loud way; I have a bit of stress to work off.” Twilight replied with a grin.

“My my isn’t someone blood thirsty. Alright we can do it the loud way. I’ll take the idiots with the rocket and the sniper from here with my rifle, then we’ll kill the others and go from there.” Ethan told her before snapping off two clean headshots causing both merc’s heads to explode violently in two tremendous showers of gore and grey matter.

The rest of the mercs looked around in confusion as Ethan and Twilight ran down the hill towards them; something about being charged by a purple unicorn caused them to pause in surprise. Well at least until Twilight unloaded her tri-beam laser rifle into one of them causing the unfortunate merc to turn into a pile of dust. They opened fire with Chinese assault rifles and a smattering of laser rifles thrown in for good measure.

Ethan returned fire with deadly 12.7mm machinegun fire easily cutting through the armored chests of two mercs in splashes of red and pink as the bullets tore through the combat armor and into the pink flesh underneath.

Twilight had decided to keep her mind together in this fight so she was slightly sloppier then she could be but she didn’t want to fall into the practice of depending on the technique especially when it knocked her out unexpectedly. As she ran at Ethan’s side she concentrated mostly on deflecting bullets with her magic instead of firing her rifle, in her mind
deflecting bullets from her head was more important than killing the one’s that Ethan would kill.

Ten mercs survived the initial charge and fell back as Ethan advanced steadily firing round after round at their two would be killers. Ethan’s submachine gun went off twice and two of the mercs suddenly found themselves severally lacking in functioning right arms. A bullet made it through Ethan’s duster and slammed into one of his ribs breaking it in half. Ethan let out a slightly pained grunt as the rib snapped back together and with a hacking cough he spit the bullet out of his body. Twilight looked over in concern but Ethan shook his head and returned to the battle.

The sound of missile soaring towards them came to Ethan’s ears as a merc who Ethan hadn’t seen in his initial scan of the area took up arms. Ethan pivoted on his heel and tracked the missile as it flew towards them and then with a smirk shot it out of the air with a rapid three round burst. Then with an even larger smirk he sent a single bullet arcing through the air until it slammed into the merc’s eye and pulped the inside of his brain before ricocheting off the inside of his skull and being expelled out the back of his neck.

Twilight meanwhile had begun to return fire with her laser rifle sending three crimson beams at the mercs who had now slipped into cover positions in front of a tent surrounded by sand bags. She wasn’t having much luck with the rifle so she switched to the plasma defender and began to shoot a rapid string of plasma balls at the enemy mercs. She got a lucky hit and a merc with a laser rifle turned into glowing green stain on the floor of the wasteland. Another burst of assault rifle fire smashed into her shield deflecting Twilight’s attention away from shooting.

Ethan let out a wild whoop and sprinted towards the area where the mercs were entrenched and drew Jack the ripper. The enemy switched their fire to the rapidly closing target but Twilight blocked all of their bullets a few inches away from Ethan’s body. When he reached the sandbags Ethan grabbed the top of one and hoisted himself over it landing on top of one of the mercs and with a chuckle he decapitated the merc with his good buddy Jack. One of the other mercs charged him with a large combat knife but Ethan’s wrist shot to the side and the merc suddenly found himself unable to feel his now severed hand. Ethan followed this up by jamming the top of Jack into the underside of the merc’s chin where it carved through the merc’s jaw in under a second.

Twilight joined him on the other side of the barrier and sent out a wave of force that shredded the skin of one of the mercs armor and all leaving him with a bloody pulsing mess for a chest. The merc cried out in pain but Twilight stifled it by tossing him bodily at another merc who had been trying to sneak up on her blind side. The other merc screamed as his squad mate’s bloody form slammed into him with the force of a super sledge causing both of their bodies to fly apart in an almost artistic display of destruction.

The five remaining mercs exchanged a glance before they let out a wild war cry and charged the two wielders of death.

Ethan put away Jack and ran at them bare handed but for a pair of steel knuckles that he slipped onto either hand. Twilight stayed back and looked on expectantly. The first merc Ethan reached attempted to stab him with a combat knife. With an open palm Ethan slapped the man’s arm aside and smashed his knuckles into the man’s jugular breaking it with a snap as he ducked under another knife and jabbed his other fist into the new man’s stomach sending him flying backwards with enough speed to impale him through the chest on a nearby camping spike.

Three mercs remained and they decided to charge him at once hoping against hope that they could at least harm this man in the duster who could casually kill them with offhand punches and slaps.

The first knife jabbed into Ethan’s duster but was easily repelled by the thick leather and Ethan slammed his fist into the man’s nose imploding the front of the skull into the brain behind it killing the man before he knew what was happening. The second man and the third man’s knives slashed at Ethan’s arms but his right leg shot out and snapped one of the merc’s legs with an audible snap and let a satisfying thud as he hit the ground. As for the other merc Ethan calmly snapped out his arm, caught the other man’s wrist and broke it with a resounding crack. As the second man fell back clutching his wrist in pain Ethan calmly shattered the other man’s throat with a swift kick. Ethan advanced on the last merc his bloodstained body swaying back and forth with a steady rhythm as the man fell backwards cowering in fear.

“Tell Commander Jabsco that I’m here to kill him, I’ll be in in two minutes.” Ethan said before his foot lashed out and kicked the merc in his broken wrist causing him to cry out in pain. The merc scrambled to his knees and took off towards the main door of the fort. Twilight let out a low whistle and Ethan turned to regard her quizzically.

“You didn’t break a sweat Ethan; that was incredible.” Twilight said softly as her eyes drifted to the nine bodies lying broken on the ground around them.

“Thanks Sparky, that little flaying the skin off people trick was cool to.” Ethan replied with a smile.

“I didn’t even know I could do that.” Twilight said sounding slightly awed.

“Anyways there’s something that I’ve been meaning to ask you Sparky.” Ethan said changing topics.

“What Ethan?” Twilight asked puzzled.

“How do you teleport somewhere?” Ethan asked.

“Well you focus on a memory of a place and add a small spark of magic, and then you’re where you picture yourself.” Twilight answered.

“Could you use my memories?”

“Yes, I’ve never done it before but I know that it is possible to do that, I would just need to look into your mind at the memory and then it would act as a focus, why do you ask?” She asked.

“Because I just got a very good idea.” Ethan replied with a large grin.

***

“What the fuck is wrong with you idiots he’s just one man with a unicorn, how hard could they possibly be to kill?!” Commander Jabsco shouted at his men.

“Sir they tore through fifteen of our men with no trouble and left Jenkins alive to tell us about it, there was nothing they could do!” His second in command shouted back.

“I don’t give a fuck, they still bleed and they still die; so would one of you idiotic fuck ups kill them already!” Jabsco raged back hoping to cow his new lieutenant, but the man in the leather jacket and oddly styled hair held his gaze without backing down.

“Sir attacking those two is suicide.” The lieutenant replied calmly, the other mercs in the room had stopped what they were doing in order to watch the gathering confrontation.

“Do you think I give a damn you little piece of shit?” Jabsco asked.

Before anything else could be said there was a loud bright flash followed by a loud bang that sent the mercs reeling in pained confusion. When their eyes were capable of seeing again they saw Ethan and Twilight standing in front of Jabsco who was down on his knees while the heel of Ethan’s boot pinned his right hand to the floor.

“I am going to kill you.” Ethan said simply. “But you get to decide how fast or slow I do it.”

“How about you take that unicorn’s horn and stick it up you’re a- ahhhhhhhh!” Jabsco cried out in pain as Ethan sent a kick into the man’s ribs knocking him onto his back. Ethan stepped forward onto the prostrate man’s chest and stomped once just hard enough to crack a single rib. Jabsco let out a pained whimper.

“Now as I was saying you’re going to tell me exactly who ordered the hit on Twilight Sparkle the purple unicorn standing behind me or I’m going to slowly remove every part of your lower body while you cry out in pain like the pig you are.” Ethan said calmly as his face took on a hard mask.

“Go fuck you-” before Jabsco could continue Ethan moved back and stomped once snapping the man’s kneecap.

“So we were discussing who ordered the hit.” Ethan said conversationally.

“Fine, it was some blonde, never said her name, there’s a picture in the desk in my office!” Jabsco cried desperately and a smile crossed Ethan’s face before he drew a small Chinese pistol and fired a single shot into the man’s skull where it drilled a tiny hole that burst into flames. The smell of burning flesh wafted up to the rest of the mercs who had been too fearful to do anything to help their boss.

“Alright listen up, how many of you boys singed up to help the wasteland and bring back the joy of prewar times?” Ethan asked and around ten cowardly looking mercs raised their hands. Ethan fell into VATS and placed ten shots into their heads which erupted into flames as they fell to the ground. “Those men were liars, how many of you hate me for what I’ve done to your company?” Ethan asked the rest. He was met by the hard stares of around twenty mercs. “Good, that’s good I can work with that. Now tell me who was Jabsco’s second in command?” Ethan asked

The lieutenant stepped forward and Twilight could’ve sworn that a small smile swept over Ethan’s face but if it had been there it was gone seconds later and he stared into the man’s eyes.

“That would be me… prick.” The lieutenant said with a confident smile.

“Huh, what do you know, how many of you assholes will follow this guy?” Ethan called to the mercs.

The mercs began to exchange glances, the lieutenant hadn’t been around for a long time but he’d rapidly risen up to his rank by completing his assignments quickly without losing a single member of his squad. More than that he’d taken the time to learn each of their names and he never swore at them pointlessly the way Jabsco had. Eventually they all raised their hands and Ethan gave them a grin.

“Good, I’m going to get what I came here for and then I’ll be gone, but from now on this guy is in charge and if any of you kill him I’ll set off a nuke in the center of this base and tie you to it.” Ethan said giving the mercs a smile before he walked towards the stairs leading down to Jabsco’s office. The lieutenant joined him and Twilight brought up the rear occasionally shooting looks at the mercs above them until they passed out of sight and into the office and shut the door. Then Ethan and the lieutenant exchanged a glance and fell into hysterical laughter.

“I told you that I would run the best gang in the wasteland!” The lieutenant said with a smile as he laughed.

“Butch, what the hell were you doing out here you asshole?” Ethan asked as he finally got his breath back.

“Well I decided that I was going to join up, dispose of Jabsco, and then be in charge of the best, most well-armed gang in the wastes. Thanks for the help.” Butch replied with a grin.

“You bastard!” Ethan said before he grabbed his old friend in a bro hug. When they let go of each other Ethan turned to Twilight and said. “Sparky this is Butch my old friend from the Vault, Butch this is Sparky the unicorn.”

“Hi, call me Twilight.” Twilight said.

“It’s cool to meet you Twilight, like the idiot said I’m Butch.” Butch said offering Twilight his hand which she shook.

“Alright down to business.” Ethan said going over to Jabsco’s desk. He spent a few minutes searching for
something and then returned with a smile holding a file marked ‘Twilight Sparkle’. “This should tell us who hired Talon Company to come after you Twilight.” Ethan said with a grin.

“The open it already!” Twilight said impatiently.

Without further ado Ethan opened the file and drew out a photo.

“Who the fuck is this?”

***

Daring Doo groaned as she inched her way up the side of the cliff, she hated cliffs in her mind they were the gods’ was of making things take longer than they should, almost as if they were trying raise suspense. She also really wished that she hadn’t broken her wing earlier…

Day 6 part 2/B

Day 6 part 2/B

Day 6 part 2/B

The brown landscape that flowed below Shining Armor as he sat in the cockpit next to Arcade watching with undisguised interest as he expertly adjusted the controls of the vertibird. The blonde haired man seemed completely comfortable as his fingers swept over the different controls pulling a small lever here, adjusting a switch, pressing a big red button… The Captain of the Canterlot Guard still hadn’t completely adjusted to the new environment but he was learning quickly.

“So what can you tell me about Ethan?” Shining asked after the silence had gone on for several minutes.

“Ethan is different… occasionally you’d think that he’s in a whole other world but then he’ll say something so damn intelligent that you’re forced to take him seriously. He covers up most of his pain with humor but you can tell that he’s sick at heart for reasons that he only tells his closest friends. Speaking of which if you’re his friend then he’ll die for you without a second thought, trust me I’ve seen him do it, and then he’ll stand right back up and do it again and again and again. Honestly he stopped being human a while ago; although as for what he is now your guess is as good as mine.” Arcade said with a shrug and a sigh.

“You don’t like him?” Shining asked in surprise.

“It’s not that I don’t like him, it’s that he’s a wild variable that I can’t track and he’s completely unpredictable.” Arcade said with a slight scowl.

“Do you trust him?” Shining asked.

“In what way? Do I trust him to fight for the forces of good? Hell yes. Do I trust him to keep the people with him alive? Once again hell yes. Do I trust him to do it in the intelligent way that would save lots of time and grief? No, Ethan will take the most convoluted route that includes half a million unnecessary time wasting stops and in the end it’ll cost him something.” Arcade said with a long sigh.

“Do you think my sister is in danger?” Shining asked and Arcade let out a small dark chuckle.

“Kid your sister might be okay, she might not be, it’s the Wasteland people die. I hope to hell that your sister is alive but if she’s not don’t blame Ethan, trust me he doesn’t need any more women on his conscience.” Arcade told Shining and the two lapsed into silence

“Talking about my husband again Arcade?” Cassandra asked with a yawn as she rubbed the sleep out of her (she and Veronica had been up all night flying and now that it was a little past twelve she’d woken up).

“Yes.” Arcade said simply while Cassandra gave him a dark smirk.

“Oh shut up you blonde fascist bigot!”

“Insane murdering bitch!”

“Whiny gay scientist!”

“Hey if we’re having an insulting contest you’d better invite me you pricks!” Veronica exclaimed as she walked into the cabin.

“And like that the magic’s gone.” Arcade said turning to give Veronica a sardonic smile.

“Oh shut up.” Veronica said with a chuckle as she punched Arcade in the shoulder making him wince.

“Umm what’s for breakfast?” Shining Armor asked trying to get a word in edgewise.

“Depends on what you like, we’ve got freeze dried apples, brahmin steak, punga fruit, gecko steak, cereal, take your pick.” Arcade replied.

“What’s not meat?” Shining asked (he’d fought beside a few griffins so he didn’t mind meat eaters the way that most ponies would).

“I’d say that he should have the punga, it’ll also get rid of any rads that he picked up during the fight earlier.” Cassandra said as she took Arcade’s seat. Suddenly a light on the control panel lit up and a voice emitted from it.

“This is Brotherhood of Steel Knight Captain Tucker is anyone out there?” The voice asked, it sounded slightly desperate. Cassandra reached out and tapped the button.

“This is Cassandra Smith reading you loud and clear Captain Tucker, are you in need of assistance?” Cassandra asked.

“The Courier well fuck? Yes we are in need of assistance, we’re hold up in the basement of the Red Cross Hospital, we’ve got around two hundred raiders breathing down out necks and we’re almost out of ammo so any help you could offer would be greatly appreciated.” Captain Tucker replied.

“We’re on our way, also how in the hell did you get a radio signal out of a hospital basement?” Cassandra asked.

“Rubberbands magnets and ducttape.” Captain Tucker answered before he was cut off by the sound of gunfire “Get me some more firepower on the right flank dammit! Please get here soon I don’t want to explain to my Elder why my squad is dead.” Tucker said before the line went dead.

“Well it looks like we’re saving the Brotherhood’s ass, again.” Cassandra told the occupants of the cabin.

“You know you’d think that because we’re the faction with the most technology (not counting the Enclave) that we wouldn’t need to be rescued all the time.” Veronica said as she put her armor on.

“Yeah I’ve always found it funny.” Arcade replied as he put on his own armor.

“At least we haven’t been wiped out.” Veronica shot back (despite their harsh words Shining had the feeling that they were doing this for the fun of it).

“Arcade you’re staying in the vertibird.” Cassandra told the blonde man.

“I always have to wait in the vertibird.” Arcade said with a sigh.

“Would you rather the Brotherhood shoot you?” Cassandra asked flatly.

“Don’t worry blonde I’m sure you can go on the next one.” Veronica said sticking her tongue out at the man who grumbled something incoherent.

“Want to come Shining?” Cassandra asked.

“We’re fighting through a hospital full of rabid psychos, sure why not?” Shining asked with a grin, he wanted to prove himself to these people and not be a piece of defenseless luggage that they had to cart around. They landed outside the hospital which was a large concrete building that looked like it had seen better days and the three of them stepped out onto the broken sidewalk.

“I’ll find a nice rooftop to park this on; give me a call when it’s time for pickup.” Arcade had said before he’d pulled the door shut and took off.

They walked into the hospital and Shining absently noticed the large number of copses along with the deep red blotches that stained the floor. He’d seen worse when he’d been deployed with a group of griffins who were guarding a town against a group of young dragons, but not by much. He barely noticed that he’d drawn his sword until it was hovering in the air next to him. Veronica and Cassandra exchanged a short look; the unicorn was certainly a veteran of some kind of conflict and it looked like he’d be more than capable of defending himself.

“I hate hospitals; they’re no fun to fight through.” Veronica said as they walked into the next room and stepped over another pile of corpses, Shining’s face was beginning to turn a little green but he fought down the urge to puke instead he asked.

“What is fun to fight through?”

“Gardens, electronics shops and Antique stores, but only if they're classy.” Veronica replied which got a chuckle out of her two companions.

A loud shout interrupted their conversation as a raider ran at them with a baseball bat. Shining was about to decapitate him but Cassandra beat him to it by expending her shotgun into the raider’s head sending it flying through the air until it exploded against the back wall.

“Why did it explode?” Shining asked but Cassandra just shrugged and replied.

“That happens around me.”

***

“I can’t believe it, we went all that way, killed all those mercs, wasted all that time, and all we got out of it was a
picture of some woman that you don’t even know!” Twilight raged, she’d been doing this off and on since we left the Talon HQ (although Ethan guessed that it would soon be called the Tunnel Snake HQ if he knew Butch).

His mind wandered back to the picture in the file. The woman was blonde and drop dead gorgeous to boot (he’d never say it out loud for fear of his manhood but she blew Cassandra out of the water) but there was also something savage about her. A look in her eye that transferred through the picture that told you that that she was something scary, not evil, just scary. But most of all she seemed old almost ancient despite how young she looked Ethan got the feeling that she’d been around the block a long time. It was the same look that some of the ghouls got (minus the decaying flesh) Twilight had said that she reminded her slightly of Celestia. Besides the way she looked they’d learned nothing about the mysterious woman not even her name or why she’d put a hit on Twilight.

They were around fifteen minutes away from the Citadel when the missile impacted smashing into the ground in front of Twilight and flinging her away from Ethan with a streak of blood shooting out of her right leg. The grenade plasma went off in front of him a millisecond later throwing Ethan to the ground in surprise as the painfully hot green light washed over him. Insane cackling filled the air and Ethan blearily saw a woman leap off the roof of five story building and land gracefully before she started to stalk towards him. Black hair twirled around her as she walked in her flowing leather armor that seemed to be more part of her skin then actual armor had any right to be.

“I was expecting more fro-” The woman began; Ethan shot her in the face with his magnum. The bullet shot forward and crashed into the woman’s face shattering it down the middle. To his considerable surprise the woman’s face formed back up and she gave him a wicked grin.

“Well fuck me.” Ethan said as he regained his feet.

“I would, but I’m busy killing you at the moment.” She replied as she sent another grenade flying at him. Ethan’s magnum kicked once and the grenade exploded a few feet in front of the woman who didn’t even flinch as the waves of heat washed over her, although Ethan noticed a slight silvery sheen that flowed around her after the grenade had gone off.

“So who are you?” Ethan asked as he sent a magnum shot into her arm which shattered and then reformed with another burst of silver.

“My name is Alexandra Supertramp, and I’m here to kill you and the little pony.” The woman replied putting away the grenade launcher and drawing a high-tech looking energy pistol. Ethan dove to the side just before a wave of dark blue energy smashed (yes smashed as in physically moved) through the air that he’d just been occupying with a loud bang.

“Well then Miss Tramp if you wouldn’t mind extending me the curtsy would you mind telling me just what the fuck you are?” Ethan asked before pocketing his magnum and opening up with his 12.7 it did significantly more damage than the magnum did effectively blowing eight or nine large holes in the center of Supertramp’s chest which all began to heal immediately. “Because healing from impossible injuries is my shtick and you’re kinda stealing my thunder.” He added.

“I’m from the Institute little man.” She said with a wild cackle a she returned fire with the incredibly powerful pistol, Ethan managed to dodge the shot but the laser still nicked him and he felt his skin melt and pucker like heated sugar under the intense heat.

“I take it you’re here about Dr. Zimmer?” Ethan asked as he dove behind the cover provided by a nearby before returning fire aiming for the hand that held the gun. His bullets pulped her hand and sent the gun spinning into the air where Ethan rose to catch it. Before he could grab it the woman had another in her hand and shot him in the chest throwing him backwards into the side of a building. Ethan now had a rather discouragingly large hole in his chest…

“Did you really think that you could kill one of our scientists and cost us two androids without suffering the consequences?” Supertramp asked as she walked towards him again.

“Well yeah actually I did.” Ethan told her with a smirk as his chest knit back together and he pulled a riot shotgun out from behind his back and blasted her ten feet backwards as he unloaded the entire 12 shots into her chest. Ethan rolled forward and grabbed the pistol that she’d been using earlier from where it had hit the ground and quickly shoved it into his pocket. The woman regained her feet a few seconds later and looked at Ethan for a second before giving off a high pitched laugh.

“You have no idea how nice it is to have someone who can actually fight back, do you have any idea how boring it gets sometimes when everything dies in one shot? Or how incredibly useless most people are? Especially when they start flaunting about how they’re better then you because they’re sane! It’s enough to make a girl want to destroy the world!” She said before she broke down into a fit of loud giggles as she stalked towards Ethan. “The worst part is-” Ethan never got to hear what the worst part was because at that second Twilight’s bloody, battered, and broken body emerged from behind a piece of concrete and shot out a wave of force that slammed into Supertramp sending her flying away over the banks of the nearby river and out of sight.

“She talks too much.” Twilight said before fainting.

“Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck!” Ethan said to himself as he ran over to Twilight’s still form. She was missing her front right leg, her left eye was a destroyed mess, and large bur scars covered her entire body. Ethan jabbed two stimpacks into her body and felt around for a heartbeat, with a relived sigh he found it. Then grabbing the limp unicorn in his arms he took off sprinting towards the Citadel hoping against hope that they would have the necessary equipment on hand, and the will to use it…

***

Shining Armor’s sword decapitated a raider with a quick precise slash before he pushed the raider out of his way with his pure magical might and sent the body flying into another raider who toppled over. Next to him Veronica smashed her ballistic fist into a raider’s chest blowing a hole through it and in front of both of them Cassandra was strolling through the clinic wing of the facility calmly blasting raiders into oblivion with a shotgun in each hand.

“How in Celestia is she doing that?” Shining panted (he may have been an experienced fighter used to both war and battle, but even he had his limits).

“I’ve always wondered-duck.” Veronica said suddenly and Shining obeyed with a speed honed on the fields of battle (when someone told you to duck they had a damn good reason for telling you to duck). The whistling spear that sliced through the air that his head had previously been occupying proved that point quite effectively as it buried itself into the wall behind him.

“Thanks.” Shining said giving her a grin before he charged the now weaponless raider and tackled him to the ground where his enchanted armored hooves smashed repeatedly into the raider’s body creating yet another red smear on the floor.

“Don’t mention it.” Veronica replied with a chuckle as her fist slammed into the chin of a nearby raider cracking his jaw in half and sending him flying.

Up ahead Cassandra was engaged in the therapeutic job of blowing raiders in half with a sawedoff shotgun in either hand, she had much stronger guns but didn’t feel like expending the ammo on raiders. Suddenly a raider burst out of the ceiling and landed in front of Cassandra who unloaded both shotguns into him sending his body flying like a ragdoll and let out a happy sigh. This was something that she could do without worrying; here there was nothing to make her think about the things that kept her up late at night. She put away the shotguns and pulled out her personal light shining in the darkness and blew a raider’s head to smithereens while in the back of her mind a more traitorous part of her whispered about the Divide and how she’d destroyed humanity’s best chance to start over.

“God I need a drink.” She moaned as she shot a raider in the chest sending the broken body flying to the floor.

They had been slowly working their way towards the door to the basement from within which they could hear the loud cracks of energy weapons and the screams and shouts of angry raiders.

“Friendlies coming down the stairs; don’t shoot the unicorn!” Cassandra shouted before she kicked the door open and found that the entire stairwell was full of raiders who had turned to look at her with wide grins as they gripped a wide array of melee weapons. “Oh fuck me with a bumper sword.”

***

“We’ve stabilized her but she has to lose the leg and the eye.” Scribe Rothchild told Ethan quietly.

“Fuck.” Ethan replied eloquently.

“Yes sadly it looks like she’ll be a cripple for the rest of her life.” Rothchild continued.

“No she won’t.” Ethan replied giving the scribe a hard stare.

“Excuse me?” Rothchild asked his eye narrowing.

“You’re going to give her a new leg and a new eye.” Ethan replied calmly.

“We do not have enough of the parts here for our own needs, she is a nice girl but she is not Brotherhood.” Rothchild replied keeping his voice calm.

“And I don’t give a Fuck I’ve seen to many lives ruined on account of my actions and this is one wrong that I will right.” Ethan said leaning closer to Rothchild and meeting the scribe’s gaze, to his considerable credit Rothchild neither flinched nor looked away. Instead he met Ethan’s eyes with the same determination that a man does when they faced with an incredibly long trek through the Wasteland. Before Ethan or Rothchild could say another word a black woman entered the room.

“Rothchild do it.” She said simply.

“Not you too Cross, the parts are made for humans not unicorns, they may not even work!” The Scribe said in annoyance.

“You’re going to try Reginald.” She told him.

“Fine, but don’t blame me if this ends terribly.” Rothchild replied getting to his feet and walking out of the room. Ethan rose to embrace the cyborg in a deep hug and that’s when the tears came.

“It’s okay Ethan, you did your best.” Cross said reassuringly as she patted his back gently.

“It happened again dammit why do women around me always get hurt?” Ethan asked the woman who held him in her arms. Cross was one of the few people who Ethan really opened up to, maybe it was her association with his father, maybe it was the way she’d saved his life a few weeks after he’d left the vault, but Ethan had always just safe around the cyborg.

“Ethan it’s not your fault, you need to stop blaming yourself for everything bad that happens to those around you, you’re just one man!” Cross told him forcing him to meet her gaze.

“I’m the Lone Wanderer, The Messiah, The Last Best Hope for Humanity, people shouldn’t die because they’re walking down the street with me!” Ethan all but shouted, Cross didn’t back down.

“Ethan Threedog can yap all he wants about you being a hero, but I held you when you were in diapers and I know better than almost anyone that you’re just as human as I am.” Cross replied.

“Said the pot to the kettle.” Ethan replied darkly.

“Ethan…” Cross groaned.

“Sorry that was bad, anyways I’m just tired of people I care about getting hurt.” Ethan said as he dried his eyes.

“I know Ethan, I know.” Cross said her eyes darkening slightly as she thought of James and all the others she’d lost.

“I need a drink.”

***

Twilight Sparkle groaned as she awoke, she immediately felt that something was wrong. For one thing her left eye could see only black and her right foreleg wouldn’t move when she tried to move it. The next thing that she noticed was that she was strapped to a firm medical mattress. Her mind rushed back to what had happened, there had been an explosion, a lady who talked too much, and her leg and eye had hurt. Panic coursed through her body as she struggled to break free of the straps, she also started to scream for help.

“Twilight calm down!” Ethan shouted as he burst into the room.

“Ethan I can’t feel my right leg and my left eye can’t see!” She yelled.

“Easy Twilight easy, we had to cut off your leg and cut out your eye-” Ethan began until he was cut off by Twilight.

“You cut off my leg!” She screamed piercingly loud.

“Let me finish, we cut off what was left of your leg and your eye and replaced them with high-tech cybernetics. You can’t feel with your leg or see with your eye because they’re turned off.” Ethan told her trying to calm her; instead it made her squirm harder against her restraints.

“I’m a monster now!” She shouted.

“Twilight you’re not a monster, you’re a god damned hero and don’t you dare contradict me!” Ethan shouted silencing her. “Listen to me Twilight Sparkle, what you did was incredible, you are more of a hero then I ever have been and you will like it!”

“But Ethan I probably look like a monster, what will Celestia think?” Twilight asked with a despondent moan.

“If she truly cares for you then she won’t give a damn, and if she does then she’s not good enough for you Twilight.” Ethan told her as he lowered himself down to sit next to the purple unicorn. “We’re ready Rothchild.” Ethan shouted and the tired looking scribe entered the room.

“It’s good to see you awake again Twilight; I almost thought we’d lose you twice during the operation.” He told her kindly and Twilight nodded slowly. “I’m going to be turning on the artificial limbs, this may sting a bit.” He said as he walked behind her and pressed a button that was concealed beneath her mane.

Twilight’s left eye turned on and her mind was immediately filled with an overwhelming amount of data. Twilight’s mind boggled for a few second as she adjusted but once the initial oddness of being able to see out of her left eye again passed Twilight found that it felt surprisingly like her old eye had. Then Rothchild pressed another button and her right leg suddenly twitched rapidly as her nerves adjusted to the new limb. She experimented for a few minutes looking over the shiny steel limb testing its movement, flexibility, and strength before setting it back down again.

“Your eye will subconsciously pick up far more than your old one would along with supplying combat data about different enemies, your leg is made of a very acid resistant metal and should never need to be replaced. Make the most of them Miss Sparkle you don’t realize how expensive they were.” Rothchild said and Twilight detected a slight edge to his voice.

“I’ll keep them safe.” She said calmly.

“See that you do. Here’s a mirror.” He added handing Twilight a mirror that she held in front of herself in her magic.

Her face had a new patch of scarring running along the left side that her fur was just beginning to cover up again and her new metal eye glowed a cheery blue. The rest of her body had an equal amount of scars but they were rapidly healing thanks to all the stimpacks that they’d jammed into her. Her new leg was what captivated her the most. It was a gracefully sculpted model of her other legs until it formed a perfectly shaped hoof at the bottom.

“Oh and I found some purple paint incase you’d prefer the leg to match the rest of your coat.” Ethan added holding up a can of purple spray-paint.

“I need a drink.” Twilight groaned.

Level up level 20
-new perk cyborg added

Day 6 part 3

Day 6 part 3

Celestia had been alive for millennia and by now she really should’ve known that it was polite to knock before you entered your sister’s room. As it turns out she’d forgotten…

Celestia stared wide eyed at the scene before her. Luna and a stallion were currently very busy… Luna looked up at the sound of the door opening and shot her sister a peeved look.

“Didn’t mother teach you to knock before you entered a room?” Luna asked as a crimson blush washed over Celestia’s face. Luna’s face was for the most part set in slight annoyance while the stallion looked extremely embarrassed, especially because Luna had never ceased her movements.

“I should go…” Celestia said before slamming the door shut and teleporting away.

“My sister is so funny, what do you think Bluestreak?” Luna asked turning back to look at the stallion underneath her.

“No comment Ma’am.” He replied and Luna chuckled, at least shewas having a good evening.

Celestia appeared in her room and quickly began to shove what she’d just seen to the far corner of her mind and onto the mental shelf that she used to hold all of the different times she’d walked in on her sister. At least this wasn’t as bad as the time with the dragon and the griffin; damn she hadn’t wanted to think about that either!

You okay, Tia I know that you overreact to things like this? Luna asked mentally with a slight sigh of pleasure that carried across their mental link.

Luna stop it! Celestia mentally shouted back.

What’s the matter sister, are you getting a little uncomfortable?Luna asked her mental voice crying out in ecstasy halfway through the last word.

I hate you so much right now sister! Celestia replied before shutting down her mental link. Then she chuckled, their sense of humor was one of the things that they shared, Celestia would just have to find something to top this. Suddenly there was a knock on her door and Celestia looked up to find Cadence standing in the doorway.

“Hello Auntie, may I talk with you?” The pink alicorn asked politely.

“Of course Cadence, I always have time for you.” Celestia said patting the bed next to where she lay with a hoof. Cadence got onto the bed and leaned against the other princess for comfort.

“I’m worried about Twilight and Shining.” Cadence said softly.

“I know Cadence, but they’ll both be fine. Shining Armor is best stallion that we have and Twilight Sparkle is probably the most powerful and determined mage since old Starswirl passed away.” Celestia told her niece with a sigh as her mind thought back to that brilliant stallion.

“Were you two close?” Cadence asked catching the tone that Celestia used.

“Not in the way that you’re thinking, no that was Luna.” Celestia replied with a chuckle. “She cared more about
him then she did any other stallion for a long time. Although not like some historians would have you believe, they were a bunch of asses.” Celestia added with another chuckle at the look of pure incredulity that passed over her niece’s face at the sound of the curse.

“I didn’t know that you cursed Auntie.” Cadence said once she’d recovered.

“Only when necessary, and trust me dear those stallions were asses.” Celestia told Cadence with a smirk.

“I’ll have to take your word for it Auntie.” Cadence said with a matching smile.

***

Later that evening Celestia, Luna, Cadence, and much to his embarrassment Captain Bluestreak of the Lunar Guard were sitting around the high table enjoying their diner.

“These chocolate covered carrots are simply divine.” Luna said as she took a bite out of one.

“Oh I’m glad you like them I had our chef prepare them specifically for your enjoyment, I know how much you like them.” Celestia replied giving her sister a sweet smile.

“Well that was very nice of you Tia, although I don’t remember mentioning it before now.” Luna said with a slightly puzzled look on her face.

“Oh I just guessed because of your affinity for having things in your mouth.” Celestia replied with a smirk, Luna’s eyes widened in surprise for a second before she began to smile.

“I suppose you’re right, I do appreciate a nice lollypop every once and a while.” Luna replied with a grin and a look at Bluestreak who blushed slightly as he took another bite of his own carrot. “Although Tia you should’ve ordered some chocolate covered apples, I know how much you enjoy those.” Luna added with a smirk.

“I would, but they’re currently out of stock.” Celestia said with a wistful sigh.

“Oh Tia you just need to diversify your palate, I’m sure not all the apples are out of your reach.” Luna said teasingly. Cadence suddenly grasped exactly what here two aunts were talking about and began to blush a deep scarlet.

“I could do that, but I like my apple, and I’ll just have to wait for its return.” Celestia said with a sigh.

“Can we stop talking in sexual innuendoes please; it’s driving my hormones crazy?” Cadence asked politely.

“Would you prefer me to talk about how I walked in on those two in the normal way?” Celestia asked pointing to Luna and Bluestreak, the latter of whom blushed as did Cadence.

“You only walked in on us because you didn’t knock Tia, someone as old as you should know better.” Luna
replied sticking he tongue out at her sister who snorted indignantly.

“You should know to lock your door sister, and don’t call me old we’re the exact same age.” Celestia added.

“Actually I’m a thousand years younger.” Luna replied with a smirk.

“I’m speaking in terms of being alive Luna, not time spent controlling your body.” Celestia shot back.

“Well at least I didn’t turn the nobles into idiots, present company excluded Cadence.” Luna replied.

“I hardly caused that; you can’t blame me for their ridiculous notions of unicorn superiority. I always encouraged them to accept everyone.” Celestia said with an air of annoyance.

“You could’ve at least done something about the inbreeding Tia. The only good nobles we actually have any more are the ones who were promoted through the army, the entrepreneurs, or come from other countries.” Luna replied. “I’m especially concerned with our kingdom’s Pr-” Before Luna could finish that sentence Prince Blueblood stormed into the chambers his face tightened in fury.

“Aunties the most terrible thing has happened, one of the maids moved all of my clothes into completely random drawers! I demand that you fire them all just to be sure that you get the offender!” Blueblood shouted shaking his right hoof in anger. Celestia’s eye twitched and Luna gave her a smirk.

Let me handle thisLuna told Celestia mentally.

No he’s my responsibility Celestia replied.

Fuck that, let me do it. Luna said. You’re far too gentle with him Luna added.

Luna! Celestia thought warningly.

Fine. Luna replied sourly.

“You want me to fire all the maids in the castle because one of them miss-sorted your clothes.” Celestia said flatly.

“Of course, they’re pitiful creatures anyways. Not fit to wait on the beck and call of royalty anyways.” Blueblood said with a shrug.

“I’m afraid that you’ll just have to accept it, I’m far too busy to oversee the hiring of a new maid staff.” Celestia replied cordially.

“But Auntie they made me search for my clothing!” Blueblood cried in annoyance. Luna looked like she was about ready to start smashing her head against the table…

“Like I said you should learn to be more adaptable, you are a prince after all.” Celestia told him but Blueblood just
scowled at her.

“I’m a prince, and that means that people adapt to me not the other way around!” Blueblood replied.

Sweet merciful Faust Tia What did you do to him? Luna asked in annoyance.

“The answer is no Blueblood; now please leave us to eat in peace.” Celestia told the blonde stallion who huffed and stormed out of the room.

“I think I’ve proven my point.” Luna said simply with a smirk.

***

Twilight was walking around the courtyard of the Citadel in the setting sun getting more familiar with her new leg while Ethan and Scribe Rothchild walked beside her. It surprised Twilight how easy it was to get used to using the eye and the foreleg but Rothchild had told her that both were installed with hardware that made them extremely easy to use along with filling her brain with the proper commands so that she could use them to thier full potential.

“You know Twilight I’ve come up with a new name for you.” Ethan told her with a smile.

“Oh goddesses…” Twilight replied as she randomly used her new eye to zoom in on a bird flying high above them.

“I’ll call you Sparky the Twiborg!” Ethan continued with a grin, which lasted until Twilight slammed her new metal limb into his shin causing him to gasp in pain. “Or maybe I’ll just stick to Sparky then.” Ethan said after a few seconds of rubbing his leg to alleviate the pain coursing through it.

“I think that would be best.” Rothchild observed with a smirk.

“Oh by the way that reminds me, Rothchild I need you to take this gun apart for me.” Ethan said pulling the gun that Supertramp had shot him with out of his coat pocket and handed it to the scribe.

“Where did you get this from Ethan? This tech is incredible?” Rothchild asked excitedly as he held the high tech laser pistol.

“I got it from the same person who hurt Sparky.” Ethan said. “She said she was from the Institute and after what she did I believe it.” Ethan added as Rothchild looked over the pistol.

“And why do you want me to look over it, that’s not usually your way?” Rothchild asked.

“Because I don’t feel safe carrying around a weapon that came from a psychopathic self-healing android who seems to have been stolen from an old sci-fi vid. Honestly there’s probably a tracker and a few bugs in it. You hear that bitch I’m on to you?” Ethan shouted at the gun (A few miles away on top of a building Supertramp cursed loudly and shot a random raider in the face with her missile launcher).

“Well then I’ll place it under our heaviest security measures to ensure that it causes you no harm, and once we’ve properly analyzed the tech we’ll send a better version your way.” Rothchild replied with a slight smile.

***

“Why does this always happen to me?” Cassandra asked as she ducked underneath a rusty lead pipe and shot the raider in the face with her pistol. They’d been fighting raiders in the basement for twenty minutes with no signs of the flow stopping.

“Because you dive face first into any conflict without thinking about the repercussions.” Veronica replied cheerily as she liquefied a raider’s chest with her ballistic fist. “Not that that’s a bad thing.” Veronica added with a grin.

“Thanks for the explanation Veronica.” Cassandra replied dryly.

“Anytime!” Veronica replied happily with a smile.

“How’re you holding up Shining?” Cassandra asked turning to their newest member whose armor was currently caked in raider blood.

“I’ve had worse, this enchanted armor that Princess Luna gave me is a lot better than my old stuff.” Shining replied as a hunting rifle round bounced off his armor with a magical ping.

“It’s interesting armor all right; I bet some of the scribes would kill you for it.” Veronica said with a chuckle

“Really?” Shining asked slightly shocked.

“Oh yeah definitely, better pretend that it’s just normal steel when we get to these Brotherhood boys.” Veronica answered with another chuckle.

“Won’t the fact that I’m a unicorn make them suspicious?” Shining asked as he slashed his way through another raider after parrying a slow sweep of a Chinese officer’s sword.

“You’re traveling with me, they won’t ask.” Cassandra replied with a shrug as she blasted another circular hole through a raider’s skull and kicked the body out of the way.

Shining was impressed by the level of cool his companions displayed despite the fact that at this point they must have killed a hundred of the raiders. Shining was only managing it by now thanks to years of training under hostile conditions along with the adrenaline that was rushing through his veins. Still he felt more than a little sick as their three person squad cut through the raiders, he couldn’t imagine Twilight being capable of stomaching this place…

“It sounds like the Brotherhood are dug in up ahead, we’re almost done here.” Cassandra shouted over the sound of gunfire. Shining strained his ears and heard a distinctive buzzing sound above the screams and gunfire of the raiders. They rounded a corner and were confronted by a dozen Brotherhood troops firing dozens of rounds and lasers into a hoard of raiders large then the one that they’d just fought their way through.

“It’s about time you got here Courier; I thought you’d gotten lost!” Captain Tucker (a tall brown haired man wearing his T51B armor without a helmet on and carrying a gatling laser) called over the sound of his laser burning its way
through raider flesh.

“Sorry I ran into a few roaches that I needed to squish.” Cassandra replied with a smirk as she pulled out her riot shotgun and began to blast a bloody hole through the raiders.

Veronica charged into the midst of the raiders and began to send their bodies flying as she lashed out left and right with her ballistic fist. Shining Armor meanwhile decided to try something that he’d never done during before during combat. With a slight grin on his face he formed several small magic shields and sent them flying through the mid sections of the unfortunate raiders that stood in his way. All the while his sword dodged and weaved its way through the raiders killing most in one to two slashes. When they finally reached the Brotherhood line Captain Tucker took one look at the unicorn and burst into laughter that could be heard over the steady tswee tswee tswee of his gatling laser.

“You travel with strange company Courier but I can respect anything that can create that much death.” Captain Tucker said with another laugh before he turned back to the encroaching raiders. Cassandra rolled her eyes and went back to firing at the hoard. With the added firepower of the three new warriors the raiders were easily dealt with. When the last raider fell Shining slumped to the ground panting, they’d been fighting through the building for three hours and his body and magic reserves had bottomed out.

“So what were you doing in this building in the first place?” Cassandra asked Captain Tucker as they both drank deeply from their bottles of pure water.

“We came looking for a Mark IX Auto-Doc that’s supposed to be kept down in the sub-basement but apparently this place was a raider compound, we didn’t find that out till Paladin Leroy got hit by a rocket.” Tucker replied with a visible scowl.

“And then you got stuck here between the raiders and the sub-basement right?” Cassandra asked and the Captain nodded.

“We didn’t have time to get to the door so the best we could do was bunker down here and hope for the best.” Tucker replied with a shrug.

“That still leaves me asking how you got the signal to my vertibird.” Cassandra said with a slight frown.

“Look over there.” Tucker said as he pointed backwards with his thumb at a broadcasting radio. The back was plugged into the wall with a few rubber bands a magnet, and some ducttape, the sound of Cassandra’s palm hitting her face resounded nosily around the room.

***

Pinkie was bouncing down the street next to Dash and Gilda who kept giving her odd looks. Suddenly Pinkie’s normally bubbly smile was replaced with a surprisingly thoughtful look.

“What’s up Pinkie?” Dash asked as she noticed the change in expression.

“Twilight’s going to have a much less painful time doing the Pinkie Promise.” Pinkie replied with a giggle.

“Do I want to know?” Dash asked but Pinkie shook her head.

“Nope, you’ll know eventually.”

“Can you two talk about this later? I’m nervous enough about this without her talking like she can see the future or something.” Gilda said in slight irritation.

“You’ll do fine G, my friends will accept you once you explain things a little, I just wish that my mane would go back to the way it should be.” Dash said with a scowl as she tried to get her mane back into its normally messy style.

“I think you look cuter this way Dash.” Gilda said with a smirk.

“Did you just call me cute?” Dash shouted.

“Yep, especially that thing you do with your wings…” Gilda replied with another smirk as she looked Dash’s wings which were spread in agitation.

“Oh shut up.” Dash grumbled.

***

“Ethan there’s something I’ve been wondering.” Twilight said as the two sat together in the Citadel’s kitchen.

“What’s that Sparky?” Ethan asked as he took a quick sip of his Nuka Cola.

“Are you religious?” Twilight asked.

“Nope.” Ethan replied with a shrug.

“But you swear by your god.” Twilight said in confusion.

“Who else would I swear by Sparky?” Ethan asked before taking another sip.

“But Ethan-” Twilight began but Ethan cut her off with a quick wave of his hand.

“Sparky I’ve seen mankind do horrible things, things that would freeze your blood faster than liquid nitrogen." Ethan said with a grimace. "I refuse to believe that a God would sit up on some magical cloud pedestal and just watch without interfering. If there’s a god I want fucking angels to swoop down and smite the wicked, but more then that I want to punch him in the face for taking my father from me.” Ethan replied with a slight growl.

“Ethan there are still dangers in Equestria, there are still poor ponies with no hope of ever getting up on their feet. Hell Ethan there are rampaging monster who routinely march through towns destroying and killing as they go, and even with their immense alicorn powers neither Celestia or Luna can stop every monster or disaster from accruing! You can’t blame the gods for everything that happens in your life.” Twilight countered.

“Dammit Twilight this place is the Wasteland, I don’t see any evidence of God’s work anywhere!” Ethan said angrily.

“I’m alive.” Twilight said looking into his eyes.

“Yes you are thanks to the miracles of medical science and a lot of luck.” Ethan replied looking straight back into her eyes, her new mechanical one narrowed to focus the blue light which shot straight into Ethan’s pupil until he was forced to look away. “Cheater.” Ethan muttered.

“You know what I think Ethan?” Twilight asked.

“No, but I’m sure you’ll tell me Sparky.” Ethan replied with a small smile.

“I think that your god is out there watching on his magical cloud pedestal, and I think that he already sent the Wasteland an angel.”

Day 7 part 1

Now edited by the awsome TacoTown

Day 6 part 1

“So where are we going now?” Twilight asked as the two sat together in the Brotherhood’s kitchen, quietly munching on some sugar bombs.

“We’re going to Vault 87, that’s got to be where Dominus is hiding. Once we’re done with him we can focus on killing Supertramp.” Ethan replied with a shrug as he shoveled another spoonful of two century old cereal into his mouth.

“Vault 87?” Twilight asked in confusion.

“Yeah, the place is dark, dangerous, and absolutely full of supermutants and the stuff that turns people into them.” Ethan said with a small chuckle.

“When you put it that way I’m surprised that it isn’t a tourist destination.” Twilight said dryly.

“The cool place is Little Lamplight, god I love those kids.” Ethan said with a wistful smile.

“Kids?” Twilight asked uncertainly.

“Yeah, they’re a bunch of kids who live in this really big cavern right next to the vault; they’re so damn fun to be around.” Ethan replied with a smile.

“So let me get this straight, a group of children are living next to a place full of giant green monsters, and no one is worried about this?” Twilight asked incredulously.

“Well yeah…” Ethan said trailing off with a shrug.

“Nothing about that picture seams wrong to you?” Twilight asked.

“Nope; typical Wasteland.” Ethan replied.

“Ethan, I’m seriously debating hitting you.” Twilight informed him with a sigh.

“Hey don’t blame me, I’ve tried to get them to move, but the little bastards are just that damned determined to stay there.” Ethan replied with a shrug.

“The longer I’m here the more I start to wonder how your ancestors ever got down from the trees without falling to their deaths.” Twilight said with a sigh.

“The other bodies softened our landing.” Ethan replied with a chuckle. “Wait. How did you know we evolved from monkeys?” Ethan asked.

“I was up late last night and got some reading done, although I hate those monitors. They really make my eye hurt.” Twilight replied gently touching her normal eye with her metal hoof.

“Yeah, I can see that. They drive me crazy too.” Ethan replied getting up from the table and clearing away his dish.

“Time to go?” Twilight asked.

“Yep, we have a lot of ground to cover today.” Ethan replied as he casually began to do a few last minute checks on his equipment.

“Ethan, shouldn’t you be wearing more than just that duster? I mean, last time you kind of got your ass handed to you.” Twilight asked while she looked at her friend in concern.

“Don’t worry Sparky, I always keep some nice Ranger armor here.” Ethan said pulling his duster open to reveal the metal plates that made up the riot gear.

“Wouldn’t it be safer if you wore your power armor?” Twilight asked as she looked at the riot gear, unimpressed.

“Well, yeah. But it makes life boring.” Ethan replied with a shrug.

“We’re going out to kill an extremely powerful supermutant, and you’re worried about things being boring?” Twilight asked in annoyance.

“Sparky, when you’ve been doing this as long as I have you need to find something that you work towards. For my wife that’s keeping her city running to make up for the Divide. For me that’s killing every last son of a bitch that threatens the safety of the Wasteland, along with keeping things interesting.” Ethan replied with a shrug as he headed out into the hallway

“Ethan, that’s terribly unhealthy for your mind.” Twilight said as she followed him.

“Weren’t you the one who has periodic mental breakdowns?” Ethan replied with a chuckle at the look that came over Twilight’s face.

“Ethan, I admit to my problem (and I fully expect to have one at some point during my time here). You on the other hand seem blissfully unaware of the fact that you’re a ticking time bomb!” Twilight said exasperatedly.

“Look Sparky. I appreciate your attempts to help me, I really do. But I usually work out my issues in the bedroom, and no offense but you’re not my type. Plus, Cassandra would castrate me.” Ethan told her with a chuckle as Twilight let out an exasperated snort. “Besides Sparky, I’m just waiting for you to come to the realization that everywhere you go when you get home you’ll get stares.” Ethan added but Twilight just chuckled.

“Ethan, I’m probably the most powerful unicorn mage that’s been alive in over a thousand years. A simple illusion spell wouldn’t be that hard for me to cast if I had to, but I doubt that I’ll need to. The ponies of Equestria are pretty used to odd things happening, and I doubt that a cyborg will get more out of them then a raised eyebrow.” Twilight replied with another chuckle. “What I’m more concerned about is my brother; he’s a little overprotective when it comes to me.” Twilight said with a sigh.

“I’m sure he’ll be fine Sparky. You mentioned that he was in the army earlier, he’s probably used to soldiers getting hurt.” Ethan reassured her with a shrug as he took the stairs down.

“Ethan, where are we going? The entrance is that way.” Twilight said, pointing at the door that led to the courtyard.

“Yeah, and I’m sure that Supertramp is watching that door with a rifle. We’re using the secret escape tunnel that I found a few years back.” Ethan told her with a shrug as they walked down another flight of stairs.

“So after all the years of the Brotherhood living here they never found it?” Twilight asked.

“Nope, I don’t know why, but it might be because of the raw sewage smell…” Ethan told her with a chuckle.

“I’m not going to enjoy this am I?” Twilight asked resignedly.

“Probably not, but maybe you’ll find a sudden love of two century old sewage.” Ethan replied, giving her a smile. Twilight then slammed her metal leg into his knee.

***

“Ethan, this is ridicules!” Twilight said as the scent of the sewer rose up into her sensitive nostrils. The sewers were surprisingly spacious, easily giving Ethan more than enough headroom to move around easily. They were currently standing on the side of the sewer canal, next to a ladder that led down from some of the deepest parts of the Citadel subbasement. Inside the canal the two century old sewage sat stagnantly, occasionally shifting as some small creatures searched its depths for food.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about Sparky.” Ethan said as he began to walk away from her, leaving the unicorn with no choice but to follow him or return to the surface.

“How can you not smell it?” Twilight asked in annoyance as she caught up to him.

“Years of practice Sparky. Plus, I’ve smelled way worse things than raw sewage.” Ethan told her with a shrug.

“Such as?” Twilight asked, hoping that the conversation would distract her from the little ponies in her nose who were screaming at the ponies in her brain for relief.

“Well, I smelled an alien sewer; that was much worse.” Ethan said. “Although I did find a kick ass army coat so that made up for it.” He added with a chuckle.

“You’re impossible.” Twilight said with a shake of her head.

They kept on walking for several minutes, jumping from one topic to the next at random until Ethan suddenly ground to a halt and turned to confront the water next to them. It seemed to be bubbling, and Twilight caught dark movements issuing from within. Ethan took his 12.7 off of his hip and unloaded the clip into the water, which shrieked as the bubbling grew more intense. Twilight wondered what could possibly stand up to that kind of punishment and looked over the edge to get a better look.

“Sparky get back!” Ethan shouted but it was too late.

A long sinuous limb streaked out of the water and grabbed Twilight in its clutches, wrapping around the purple mare and pulling her under the water before she could release a scream. Ethan unhooked his blade of the west and was about to dive in after her when the water suddenly exploded in a flash of purple and Twilight was thrown out of the water with the force of a small explosion. Ethan grabbed her out of the air as bits of long tendrils showered the side of the canal around them. Ethan set Twilight down on the ground beside him where she immediately began to puke up two century old sewage, along with her breakfast.

“You okay Sparky?” Ethan asked his smaller companion who unexpectedly started to laugh as she shook herself off and a wave of purple magic swept over her. “What’s funny?” Ethan asked, not seeing the joke.

“I’m sorry Ethan. I’m just thinking about what Rarity’s reaction to seeing me like this would be; I think she would have a heart attack.” Twilight answered with another chuckle.

“I have got to meet this pony; she sounds like she’d love me.” Ethan said with a wide grin as he patted Twilight on the back.

“Goddesses I need a bath, magic just isn’t enough at this point.” Twilight said, giving herself a sniff and wrinkling her nose in disgust.

“So that’s what that purple light was.” Ethan remarked as they set off again.

“Yes, it’s a spell designed to purify you without water… I think I need a stronger spell.” Twilight replied.

“I still have no idea what controls those damn tentacles.” Ethan said with a slight scowl.

“Whatever it is, I think we may have annoyed it. Goddesses I’m tired of the Wasteland…” Twilight said with a long sigh.

“Don’t worry Sparky. Once we’re done with Dominus we should be able to rest for a bit before taking down Supertramp.” Ethan told her.

“Speaking of which, do you have a plan for that? Because nothing that you did last time seemed to help much.” Twilight asked.

“I was thinking of luring her to a factory of some kind and kicking her into a vat of liquid iron.” Ethan replied with a chuckle.

“Really?” Twilight asked.

“Hey, it worked for John Connor.” Ethan replied with a shrug.

“Who?” Twilight asked puzzling over the unfamiliar name.

“Guy from a vid, he had this awesome robot from the future who came to help protect him from this other robot from the future. Cassandra showed it to me; she said she found it when she was doing something for the Think Tank.” Ethan replied.

“The who?” Twilight asked

“They were scientific geniuses before the war who preserved their brains in tubes.” Ethan answered.

“Only humans Ethan, only humans…” Twilight said, trailing off with a sigh.

***

After two hours of walking through sewers, they arrived in a metro station that Twilight’s pipboy identified as the Northwest Seneca Station. Then they walked west for another hour until they came to a cheery looking sign proclaiming that the Lamplight Caverns were straight ahead. A few minutes of walking later brought them to a cavern decorated with dozens of small light bulbs that sparkled happily in the wasteland sunlight, clearly not giving a fuck about how depressing their surroundings were.

Ethan led the way into the caverns, followed by Twilight, and they walked till they came up to a wood and metal barricade where a teenager wearing a lumpy brown coat and a hat greeted them.

“Hey look, it’s the fucking mungo. What’s up you cock sucking moron?” The teenager shouted down to them (he had yet to see Twilight because she was being shielded by Ethan’s bulk).

“Not much you snot-nosed little bitch.” Ethan called up to him with a grin on his face.

“Go fuck yourself asshole.” The teen shouted back.

“I would, but I’m busy fucking your mother!” Ethan replied causing the teen to burst into laughter.

“Well then come on in you dipshit!” The teen called back while he jumped down from the barricade, and the gate opened allowing Ethan and Twilight to advance. “No fucking way, is that a motherfucking unicorn?” The teen asked pointing at Twilight.

“Damn skippy it is!” Ethan replied with a wide grin. “Sparky, this is Mayor MacCready, toughest little asshole in the Wasteland.” Ethan said introducing them.

“Well fuck me in the ass and call me Suzy, it’s an honest to god unicorn!” MacCready said excitedly, with a look of almost childlike innocence washing over his face. “Not that I would be into that kind of thing, unicorns are for whiny bitches.” He added as the look vanished from his face. Twilight turned to look at Ethan with a raised eyebrow. Ethan nodded with a smirk. MacCready suddenly found himself hanging upside down in the air, with his body held aloft in a stream of purple magic.

“Whiny bitches huh?” Twilight asked with a smirk as the adolescent dangled helplessly, flailing his arms in confusion.

“Put me down, put me down, put me DOWN you cunt!” MacCready shouted, but Twilight simply began to move him up and down in the air and his face suddenly gained a greenish hue.

“You really shouldn’t antagonize a magical talking unicorn; I’ve heard that they have quite the temper.” Ethan called to MacCready as he whirled in the air.

“Mungo make this crazy bitch stop!” MacCready shouted at Ethan who only laughed and said.

“I’d suggest being nice.”

“I’m sorry miss unicorn; would you please put me down?” MacCready shouted to Twilight who gently placed him on the ground.

“So MacCready, what have we learned?” Ethan asked MacCready condescendingly. Instead of answering, MacCready jumped forward and kicked Ethan in the balls, sending him tumbling to the ground.

“That I should pick my targets better, asshole.” MacCready replied with a grin as Ethan gingerly held his crotch. Despite herself Twilight began to laugh, as did MacCready, and eventually so did Ethan.

Day 7 part 2

Once again edited by TacoTown

Day 7 part 2

“So, when are we going to get to this Citadel place?” Shining asked Arcade. They’d been flying through the night again and Shining was beginning to get tired, even though he’d slept for several hours after they’d rescued the Brotherhood.

“By the end of the day, I’ll probably be keeping my distance.” Arcade replied with a slight shrug.

“Why?” Shining asked in confusion.

“Because I’m technically Enclave, the Brotherhood doesn’t like the Enclave.” Arcade replied with another shrug.

“But aren’t you two the organizations with the most technology?” Shining asked.

“Well yes, but the Enclave wants to whip out anyone that they view as impure, whereas the Brotherhood just wants to take as much technology as possible. This East Coast Chapter is very peculiar all things considered.” Arcade answered.

“Peculiar, what do you mean by that?” Shining asked.

“They actually care about the people of the Capital Wasteland, enough so that they’ve lost dozens and dozens of soldiers defending them from the local supermutants and the Enclave.” Arcade supplied.

“They sound nice.” Shining said but Arcade just chuckled.

“No they’re not. The only reason that they’re the way they are now is because they killed around four hundred people and gained nothing from it, and their elder feels guilty about it so he’s trying to clear his conscience by saving the Capital Wasteland. It wouldn’t surprise me if the moment that he’s dead the next elder says fuck it and leaves the people for the mutants to tear apart while they sit behind their walls.” Arcade corrected Shining.

“Do you think Ethan would let them do that?” The unicorn asked.

“No, but even he couldn’t take out an entire chapter of Brotherhood by himself…Then again we’d probably get thrown into it, and I know that between him and Cassandra those two can do anything that they put their minds to… Including destroy the strongest, most well-armed organizations in the Wasteland” Arcade replied with a sigh.

“I just want to get my sister and go home, the thought of little defenseless Twily out here with this Ethan guy is driving me crazy.” Shining said with a frown.

“Don’t worry about it. I’m sure that they’re doing something perfectly safe, Ethan wouldn’t bring her anywhere too dangerous.”

***

“I still can’t believe that no one in the Wasteland cares that these kids are out here by themselves.” Twilight said in annoyance as they trotted into the tunnel that led to Vault 87.

“Complain about it later, we have to be ready to fight.” Ethan told her as he readied his 12.7mm submachine gun.

“Just how many mutants are we facing?” Twilight asked as she began to check on her tri-beam laser rifle and plasma defender.

“Anywhere from one to one thousand.” Ethan replied with a chuckle as they entered the gorge.

“Oh, this should be fun.” Twilight said dryly just as the first assault rifle rounds began to slam into the ground in front of them. “They aren’t the greatest shots, are they?” Twilight asked as they both ducked behind a boulder.

“No they aren’t. At least they’ll be expecting us!” Ethan replied loudly over the sound of gunfire.

Ethan put away his submachine gun and drew his modified anti-material rifle. He poked the scope around the corner of the boulder and saw a group of ten supermutants standing around the gorge in front of them, peppering their position with gunfire. Once he’d gotten a good look he pulled his head back just a second before a round flew through the air where his head had been.

“We’ve got ten of them. two on the ground level behind the rocks on the left, four in the lower floor windows, and four on the upper level. Two of the four are on the bridge between the upper levels and they’re packing miniguns.” Ethan told Twilight as he put away his rifle.

“Wouldn’t it have been better to shoot those two with your rifle?” Twilight asked with a smirk.

“Shut up Sparky.” Ethan replied with a chuckle.

“I mean, if you had enough time to look then you should’ve been able to shoot at leas-”

“Can we just worry about killing them?” Ethan asked in exasperation. Instead of answering Twilight just gave him a smirk. “Okay, here’s what we do. I pop out and focus their fire while you focus on tearing that bridge down with your magic, hopefully causing the two with the miniguns to be incapacitated. At that point I’ll kill the others and you’ll mop up any that are left.” Ethan explained. Twilight nodded and took a peek at the bridge where the two mutants with the miniguns were pouring a relentless stream of rounds at them.

“I can get that bridge down in a few seconds. Are you sure you won’t need my help for any of the other stuff?” Twilight asked.

“Sparky, I’ve been soloing this place for years, and I destroyed the entirety of the Enclave in the region. Give me some credit.” Ethan said with a chuckle.

“I would, but you seem to lack common sense so…” Twilight was cut off when a bullet whizzed by her head and took a chunk out of her right ear. “Oww!” She shouted as a small fountain of blood blossomed from her ear.

“And that’s why you don’t take time to lecture on the battlefield.” Ethan said before he jabbed a stimpack into her ear causing the damage to begin to heal. “Alright, let’s go.” Ethan said before he rolled out from behind the rock, immediately drawing the mutant fire away from said rock and the unicorn hiding behind it.

Ethan returned fire with his marksmen’s carbine while rolling, sending a three round burst into one of the supermutant’s skulls, instantly shattering it and sending red chunks flying everywhere. He took four rounds in the chest in the process, but his armor repelled them with ease. As he came out of his roll he fired another burst, dropping one more mutant before the twin strings of minigun rounds smashed into him, sending him backwards a bit as they pinged off of his armor, and he grunted as one or two found their way into his rib cage. Luckily, at that very moment, with a loud groan of twisting metal the bridge came crashing down, taking the two minigun wielding supermutants with it.

In the distraction caused by the collapsing bridge Ethan holstered his marksmen’s carbine and drew his 12.7. With an energetic whoop he ran towards the remaining supermutants, firing as he came. Four supermutants were already dead, leaving six who opened fire on Ethan, who braced himself but to his surprise he found that none of the shots were hitting him. He spared a second to glance downward and found that his chest had been encased in a protective purple glow. With a vicious grin splitting his face, he closed with the nearest supermutant and blew its chest apart in a spray of blood. He moved onto the next mutant who charged him with a super sledge, and ducked under a decapitating blow before he kicked it in the shin and blew its brains apart while it bent down in pain.

The remaining two mutants in the lower level of the shack opened up with a vicious wave of Chinese assault rifle shots, but Ethan didn’t feel a thing as he charged the shack and jumped through the window frame. His trench knife leapt to his hand and he smashed the spikes on the hilt into one of the mutant’s eyes before turning and stabbing the other mutant in the stomach. One of the two remaining mutants charged him from upstairs but before it got within range Twilight leapt through the window frame and shot a blast of energy into its chest, causing it to explode outward in all directions, drenching the purple unicorn in blood.

“Every bucking time!” She shouted as she sent a small wave of magic over herself to get the worst of the blood off. Meanwhile the last mutant guarding the entrance threw a grenade down the stairs. It landed in between Twilight and Ethan who looked down at it, and then Ethan started to laugh.

“He didn’t pull the pin Sparky.” Ethan told her, picking up the grenade with a chuckle, and Twilight facehoofed. “Hey mutie, catch!” Ethan cried, pulling the pin and throwing the grenade back upstairs. A loud bang followed by a wet crunch met their ears and Ethan looked at Twilight with a smile.

“Okay, let’s kill Dominus and get me a freaking bath.” Twilight said before striding purposely towards the vault door.

***

Dominus stood on a balcony overlooking a chamber full of the FEV virus in its glowing liquid form. The fluid moved about lazily in a current all its own, swirling with an evil energy that Dominus couldn’t help but admire. Soon everyone in the Capital Wasteland would be one of his brothers and there was nothing anyone could do to stop him. Especially not the Lone Wanderer.

***

“Why do you think he’s just standing there like that?” Twilight asked Ethan as they looked at Dominus out of the one window.

“Fuck if I know.” Ethan replied with a shrug. At this point they were both completely coated in blood and gore. Twilight had long ago stopped wasting magic on cleaning herself and instead focused on the room ahead.

“How are we going to do this?” Twilight asked.

“I have a plan.”

***

“That’s the stupidest plan I’ve ever heard.” Twilight said

“But it’s just crazy enough to work!” Ethan replied with a smirk while Twilight facehoofed.

***

“Honey, I’m home! You got some splaining to do!” Ethan shouted as he kicked down the (reinforced steel that Twilight had weakened with her magic so that he could do this) door. Dominus turned to see Ethan striding confidently towards him, a large submachine gun in his hands.

“Oh how cleaver, how positively witty. We have an uninvited guest boys, why don’t you show him how we deal with those?” Dominus said in his high English accent. Out of the shadows stepped a dozen nightkin carrying bumper swords.

“All this for me?” Ethan asked drawing his blade of the west. “I’m touched, I really am.” He added as the first nightkin swung at him, only to find that Ethan’s blade had already moved to intercept it. With an astonishingly fast flow of blows Ethan had managed to cut off the mutant’s sword hand, and then decapitated it. The other mutants followed the first and charged with a roar. Ethan stepped forward into their midst, long blade shining in the dim yellow haze cast by the FEV.

The second to reach him received a sword through the gut while the third suddenly found itself missing its left arm. The fourth found the same sword blossoming from between its breast and the fifth’s sword met only air as Ethan sidestepped around the blow and decapitated it. The sixth and seventh attacked at once but Ethan simply blocked their attacks before countering with a viscous overhand slash that left the sixth missing half of its upper body. The seventh screamed a challenge but Ethan jabbed his blade through its throat and with a slit twist of his wrist yanked it out and stabbed the blade into the eighth’s chest. Nine, ten, eleven, and twelve surrounded him and began to hammer away at his defenses, but Ethan was only where they struck once and their blades bounced ineffectively off of his armored duster.

Ethan’s form seemed to glow purple for a half second, invisible to everyone not specifically trained to see the effects of magic, and Ethan suddenly found himself moving at a much faster rate than his opponents. It was like VATS, but they were moving in slow motion. A wicked smile appeared on Ethan’s face and he stepped outside of the circle of mutants with an appraising look on his face. The four mutants fell in a heap a few seconds later with their Achilles Tendons cut. Ethan took a few seconds to finish the job before he turned to Dominus who was looking at him wide eyed.

“As touched as I am that you prepared those nice appetizers for me, I’m more interested in the main course.” Ethan said with a grin as he approached Dominus with his sword drawn, slowly dripping blood onto the floor of the balcony overlooking the FEV.

“You really think you can hope to fight me in personal combat?” Dominus asked with a chuckle as he stepped forward.

“I don’t see why not.” Ethan replied with a cocky smile. Before the mutant could retort Ethan charged him with the sword.

To Ethan’s surprise Dominus backhanded the blade out of his hand, broke Ethan’s arm, smashed the Wanderer’s face into his knee, causing his teeth to clank together painfully, and then picked him up by the hair and brought him to the edge of the platform where he held the man aloft right over the glowing FEV.

“Boy, I was old before you were a spark in your father’s eye. I have been working towards my victory for years, and you think that an insignificant little hero like you could stop me?” Dominus asked with a sneer. “Tell me boy, what’s the true meaning of a hero? Wait, I know this one. It’s how loud they scream as they’re slowly turned into a mutant!” Dominus shouted as he hurled Ethan’s body towards the FEV below. There was a splash and Dominus turned his back to the FEV as Ethan began to scream in pain. “But now I have to create a new army.” Dominus muttered to himself. “Damn heroes thinking that they can do whatever they want.”

“Hey Dominus, you forgot something.” Ethan said. Dominus whirled to see Ethan floating behind him, wrapped in a protective purple barrier that was rapidly shedding its yellow liquid. “What about the unicorn?” Ethan asked as he dove forward and delivered a bone snapping (literally for Ethan) punch to the mutant’s lower jaw. Dominus went flying backwards and landed roughly on the floor. “So the true meaning of being a hero, now that right there is a pretty tough question to answer. I mean, everyone has their own answer.” Ethan said as he stalked towards Dominus, who had at this point regained his feet.

“Stop talking and DIE!” Dominus roared, charging Ethan who sidestepped and tripped the mutant on his way past, sending him sprawling.

“Although in my personal opinion, a hero is someone who suffers tragedy after fucking tragedy and still has the will to go on and try again.” Ethan said as he smashed his iron toed boot onto the back of Dominus’s leg, and received a very nice shattering sound and a supermutant’s scream. Dominus lunged with his other leg, attempting to knock Ethan off balance, but Ethan nimbly jumped over the leg. “Me, I’m no hero. I’m just a guy who wants men, children, and beautiful women to live in peace and harmony without constant interruptions like you and your ilk showing up to ruin their day.” Ethan continued as he slammed his foot into the back of the mutant’s other leg, and received another satisfying crack.

“You talked to me as if you believed that I was nothing a minute ago, and I find that pretty damn funny. You see, I’m more then you’ll ever be; I’m a man.” Ethan said, smashing his booted foot into the small of Dominus’s back and received a loud crack and a scream of pain. Then Ethan hauled the mostly broken supermutant into the air and slammed him into the metal balcony of the platform. “You on the other hand are nothing more than a pitiful science experiment gone wrong.” Ethan said before delivering a kick to the side of Dominus’s head cracking several teeth. “And now it’s time to send that which was wrought back to whence it came!” Ethan shouted as he delivered an incredibly power kick to Dominus’s chest sending the mutant smashing backwards through the balcony and flying out over the FEV.

“Pull!” Ethan shouted before taking out his marksmen’s carbine, dropping into VATS, and lining up a string of headshots that killed the mutant long before he fell into the liquid below.

“I feel like you messed up whatever you were quoting there.” Twilight said as she walked into the room with a tiny smirk.

“Probably, I haven’t had a chance to read it in years.” Ethan replied with a shrug.

“So now the supermutants shouldn’t be a problem?” Twilight asked.

“Yeah, it looks that way. I mean, there are always going to be a few left in the ruins but this vault is going to stay empty, which means that they won’t be able to make any more.” Ethan said with a small grin.

“What’s to keep them from just coming back in?” Twilight asked with a frown.

“We’re going to close the door, wipe out the power system, and then smash the door controls.” Ethan said.

“Aren’t we going to be inside?” Twilight asked.

“Aren’t I traveling with a teleporting unicorn?” Ethan replied with a smirk.

***

Pinkie suddenly looked from the conversation that was going on around her and chuckled.

“What’s so funny Pinkie?” Rainbow asked. The four friends (plus Dash) were getting to know Gilda over lunch.

“Oh I’m just laughing about filler villains.” Pinkie replied with a smile.

“What?” AJ asked in confusion.

“You know a villain who’s there to take time away from the main quest who could never really hope to succeed.” Pinkie replied with a giggle.

“Pinkie darling, you are so random.” Rarity told the pink party pony who grinned.

***

“Why did we have to blow it up?!” Twilight yelled as they sprinted towards the other side of the gorge. Rocks were falling all around them, and a few of the smaller ones impacted against the shields that Twilight had called up over their heads.

“It was the only way to be sure!” Ethan shouted back as he instinctively rolled forward to avoid a rather large boulder that impacted into the ground where he’d been standing.

“Won’t this hurt the children?” Twilight asked while she sent a powerful blast of force into one of the falling rocks disintegrating it.

“No, or at least it shouldn’t, I hope…” Ethan replied as a rock smashed into the shield above his head sending him stumbling slightly. “Damn, I haven’t outrun an explosion like this since Raven Rock; remind me to tell you about that sometimes Sparky.” He added. They ran on for a few minutes dodging (or blasting) falling rocks until they reached the end of the gorge. When they arrived they were met by a very angry MacCready.

“What the fuck mungo, I leave you alone for five fucking minutes and you blow up half of the god damn cavern!” MacCready shouted.

“Nothing here fell, did it?” Ethan asked looking around.

“No it didn’t, but dammit mungo you have to ask me before you do stupid shit like this!” MacCready replied, pinching his nose between his forefingers.

“Sorry, to be honest it wasn’t my original plan, but once I saw how much FEV they had I just had to destroy it.” Ethan replied blushing slightly.

“It’s fine…just please fucking warn me in the future…I should never have taught you about explosives...”

***

Shining looked down at the courtyard of the Citadel as the vertibird descended towards it, different members of the Brotherhood were scattered around it shooting at targets or training in a way that struck a familiar cord with the Captain of the Royal Guard. They’d been spotted by one of Brotherhood’s outposts a few miles out and been identified easily, apparently there weren’t many vertibirds out there and even fewer of them were painted blue… Cassandra stepped into the courtyard where she was met by Sarah Lyons.

“Is my husband around?” Cassandra asked.

“Ethan is out on an assignment with Twilight (she’s a unicorn, long story don’t ask) although his last radio update said that they should be back right about-” Sarah was interrupted by Ethan rushing forward grabbing Cassandra in his arms and bringing her face up to his. “-now…” Sarah finished lamely.

Shining looked over Ethan and found himself immediately disliking what he saw. Ethan was wearing a dust and blood stained leather duster, which made Shining worry about what Ethan had been doing. Then there were the eyes, blue orbs that sparkled with a kind of wildness and unpredictability that seemed to drift off of him like radiation. In short, Shining didn’t think that this was the kind of person that his sister should be traveling around with.

“Shining?” Twilight’s voice sounded from behind him, it sounded like the voice of someone waking up from a dream.

Shining turned to see his sister and his eyes widened. His sister was standing there in the courtyard behind him. Her mane was covered in blood and gore, along with a lot of dust. She was clad head to hoof in a set of combat armor that was similarly covered in gore. What struck Shining most though was the fact that one of her legs had been replaced by a metal replica, and her left eye had been replaced by a robotic one that shined at Shining with a cold mechanical light. Before Shining could react Twilight charged him and pulled her brother into a bone shattering hug, her right leg gripping him tightly in a cold metallic grasp.

“I missed you so much! But what are you doing here?” Twilight asked when she released him.

“I’m here to bring you home Twily, but at the moment I need to have a talk with Ethan.” Shining said dangerously.

“Sparky, who’s this?” Ethan asked walking towards them with Cassandra (his arm was wrapped around her waist).

“I’m her brother.” Shining said coldly.

“Well I’m Ethan, glad to meet you.” Ethan said giving Shining a smile and extending his hand. Shining just stared at it for a few seconds before adjusting his glare so that it went straight into Ethan’s eyes. “I’m in trouble aren’t I?”

Day 7 part 3

Day 7 part 3

Edited by TacoTown

“Trouble?” Shining asked softly, his eyes cold as stone. “My sister is covered in new scars, blood, gore, dust, a ratty piece of armor, and worst of all she seems to have lost an eye and a foreleg. WHAT DO YOU THINK?!” Shining shouted, his blue mane bristling as he let go of Twilight and began to stalk towards Ethan. Cassandra caught her husband’s eye for a half second and understanding passed between them. Cassandra stepped away, leaving Ethan to deal with the enraged unicorn.

“I’d think that I’m the reason that she’s lasted as long as she has.” Ethan replied calmly while looking into the unicorn’s eyes. Suddenly he found himself picked up in a very tight magical field as Shining Armor took another steps towards him.

“Shining, st-” Twilight began.

“Stay out of this Twily.” Shining commanded coldly before turning back to Ethan. “You took my sister’s innocence from her; I’m going to make you regret that.” He growled at Ethan.

“You think I fucked her?” Ethan asked in confusion. Shining let out a roar and threw Ethan to the ground in an angry burst of magic. “Do you really think I’m into that stuff? Not that she isn’t hot, I’ve been staring at her ass this whole time.” Ethan said with a chuckle (Twilight wasn’t sure whether he was joking or not) causing Shining to physically charge him. Meanwhile, the rest of the Brotherhood members in the courtyard gathered around to watch. Ethan jumped to his feet and dodged to the side as Shinning thundered past.

“Shut up you asshole!” Shining Armor yelled as he rounded on Ethan and sent out a bolt of TK that slammed into Ethan and sent him flying until he rebounded off of a magical shield.

“Well, I’d say that asshole is a little harsh, I mean I did pull a bullet out of your sister’s gorgeous flank, so I’d say I get some credit for that.” Ethan replied as his bones cracked back into place.

“I don’t give a damn, I’m going to make you pay!” Shining shouted as he created a tightening ring of magical shields around Ethan who rolled his eyes as the glowing magical edges closed in on him.

“So I saved your sister from bleeding out, gave her a place to stay, taught her how to survive, kept her from going insane more than once, replaced the limb and eye she lost, and in return you attack me.” Ethan said with a small sigh. “Oh well, I can wig it.” He added with a grin as he pulled out a small grenade and dropped it at his feet.

Twilight gasped in horror while Cassandra’s lips twitched into a small smile. Inside the circle of shields Ethan was obscured by a bright blue flash and a loud buzzing noise. Shining’s shields flicked out much to the unicorn’s confusion and Ethan came striding out with a grin

“H, ho, how?” Shining asked in confusion.

“Most invisible shields work on principles of electricity or energy manipulation, and pulse grenades work by disrupting energy and electricity. That’s why they work so well on soldiers wearing powerarmor along with robots.” Ethan said, then glanced over at Twilight whose mouth was open in surprise. “You forgot I was smart, didn’t you?” He asked her before turning back to Shining. “So your fields can’t affect me for the next ten minutes or so until the effects of the grenade wear off.” Ethan said with an elegant little bow in Shining’s direction.

“I don’t need my shields to punish you.” Shining stated coldly as he drew his sword and began to walk towards Ethan purposely.

“I’m not into that either…” Ethan said, pulling his blade of the west off of his back.

“You think you can beat me in a sword fight? I’ve been training since I was sixteen!” Shining Armor scoffed at Ethan as he slashed his sword out vertically, only to find it blocked by Ethan, who simply flicked his enormous blade and smacked the sword away.

“Well I’m twenty something, I’ve been using this thing for around three years, and I just blocked your slash.” Ethan said with a smirk as he closed in on Shining and drove him back with a massive overhand blow that the unicorn barely managed to block.

“I’ve seen better form from a recruit on his first day!” Shining shouted back as he sent his sword stabbing towards Ethan. It slid easily into Ethan’s chest, somehow managing not to hit anything important. Ethan looked down at it nonchalantly before casually pulling it out and looking at the blade while his chest closed. Shining just stood there staring at him. Without warning, Ethan’s boot lashed out and landed a light kick against the unicorn’s chest, sending him tumbling backwards.

“Let me explain something to you Shining. I’ve watched lots of people I care about die, my father, my friend Jericho (he may have been kind of a dick but he was still my friend), my cowboy friend Paulson, and a whole slew of others. This is the Wasteland, people die. I do my goddammed best to keep it from happening, but it does. And do you know what I get in return for the most part? I get more assholes and bastards trying to fucking kill them!” Ethan shouted as he strode over to Shining who had regained his feet.

“Do you realize how hard it is to keep on doing what I do? Do you realize that I occasionally wake up in the middle of the night sweating and screaming as I see my father’s corpse again? Or when I see the faces of the men I’ve killed staring back at me with their sightless eyes?” Ethan asked as Shining shot a bolt of force at him, but Ethan didn’t stop, pause, or show any sign that he’d just been hit with enough force to send two men flying. He just strode on, his eyes locked on Shining’s. The blue orbs that had been filled with wildness before were now full of a grief that Twilight found herself drawn to like a moth to a flame.

“I could’ve just stood back when people needed me. When the supermutants were terrorizing Big Town I didn’t need to do anything to help those people, but I did, and I’d do it again. Even worse I could’ve been actively evil; I could’ve blown up the town of Megaton, (I bet it would’ve been one hell of a lightshow). But no. instead I broke Burke’s nose and threw him the hell out of my town!” Ethan was standing right in front of the unicorn, now looking straight into his eyes.

“So let me tell you with perfect clarity, when I saw your sister lying on the ground crying out for help I could’ve just left her there to be eaten. Did I? Hell no, I killed each and every one of those degenerates and then saved her life. Then I-”

“Oh shut up!” Shining shouted interrupting Ethan while propelling him backwards with a blast of force. “No matter what your excuse is, or how bad you feel about it my sister is still missing an eye and a leg. What could you have been thinking? One of the first rule that any soldier learns is that you DON’T take civilians into a combat zone, and my sister is definitely a civilian!” Shining shouted as he walked towards Ethan who had already regained his feet.

“Because-”

“Both of you STOP IT!” Twilight shouted, cutting Ethan off. Twilight sent out a tiny blast of force, just enough to separate the two fighters. She walked between them and turned to stare at Shining Armor.

“Twily, wh-”

“Be quiet.” Twilight told him severely before turning back to Ethan, who was wearing a small smirk. Twilight frowned for a second before smashing her metal leg into his knee, causing Ethan to give her an amused look.

“You hit a knee guard Sparky.” Ethan told her with a grin.

“Ethan, shut up for a few seconds.” Twilight said.

“Sure thing Sparky, my lips are sealed. So about your ass…” Ethan replied with a chuckle. Twilight let out a groan before turning back to her brother.

“Shiny, you need to calm down.” Twilight said simply.

“Calm down? Why would I need to calm down? This idiot got you hurt Twily, you’re missing an eye!” Shining shouted.

“I hadn’t noticed.” Twilight said dryly.

“Twily you’re obviously mentally unstable at the moment, let me take care of this guy and then I can get Luna to take us home.” Shining said gently while he placed a hoof comfortingly on Twilight’s shoulder. Twilight shrugged him off and let out a tiny groan.

“Shiny I’m not insane, this isn’t one of my episodes; now listen to what I have to say.” Twilight said calmly, Shining was about to say something, but Twilight stuck her (nonmetallic) hoof in his mouth before he could start. “Ethan has been busting his ass to save my life since I got here. He taught me how to survive, he held me when I was scared, and he healed me when I was broken. The reason that I’m missing an arm and a leg is because an assassin came after us. Ethan did his best, but it wasn’t enough and I ended up getting hurt. I don’t blame him for it, besides I made him take me with him.” Twilight told her brother.

“You wanted to travel with this idiot?” Shining asked in surprise as his head turned to look at Ethan who was whistling softly to himself.

“Yeah, call me crazy Shiny but he really is a great guy once you get to know him.” Twilight said with a sigh.

“Twilight, he’s a moron!” Shining shot back gesturing at Ethan with a hoof. In the background Cassandra shook her head with a tiny smile on her face; Shining’s view of Ethan was the same view that had gotten many killed.

“Back to the point, he’s saved me more times than I even want to think about and I was the one who wanted to travel with him. So if you’re going to be angry with anyone, it should be me.” Twilight told her brother simply.

“You’re using that one?” Ethan asked from behind her. “Isn’t that saying kind of clichéd?”

“Not helping Ethan.” Twilight said in an annoyed tone.

“Twily, I’m not going to listen to you, you’ve obviously been damaged by this place and it’s going to take a lot of time before you’re thinking clearly again. I’m going to kill this guy, and then I’m going to get you home.” Shining said, pushing past his sister and shooting a bolt of magic at Ethan.

***

“So, who’s got money on Ethan?” Veronica asked from off to the side.

“Five hundred caps.” Sarah said without hesitation.

***

Shining ran forward and tackled Ethan, who had just regained his feet after being hit by a wave of energy strong enough to vaporize a changeling practically unharmed. They went down in a spinning heap and Ethan ended up on top. Ethan quickly sent a trio of punches into Shining’s jaw, stunning the unicorn soldier momentarily. Shining recovered rapidly and slammed his hoof into Ethan’s armored chest, his magically enhanced horseshoes creating small dents in the metal and throwing Ethan off of him. Twilight was about to intervene when Cassandra came up behind her and put a hand on her shoulder.

“Just let them fight, they’re men. It’s how they solve their problems.” Cassandra said, drawing Twilight away towards the other spectators.

Shining charged Ethan before turning to buck him in the crotch. Ethan artfully avoided the blow and returned the gesture, kicking Shining in his (armored) stallionhood. The unicorn gasped in pain as the blow reverberated around his equipment and Ethan followed up the kick by grabbing the unicorn by the shoulder and throwing him to the ground several feet away. However, Shining wasn’t done yet and as he staggered back to his hooves he sent out a flurry of energy towards Ethan. The bolts caught Ethan in the shoulder, and there was a slight sizzling sound as it tried to eat its way through the reinforced leather of the duster.

Ethan shrugged off the blow and took out his battered 10mm pistol (he didn’t want to kill the unicorn, for some reason he doubted Twilight would like that). He sent out a withering hail of lead that bounced off of the shield that appeared in front of Shining’s body. Shining let out a yell of furry and charged towards Ethan, who jumped backwards and sent out another flurry of shots that were easily deflected by Shining. The unicorn’s hoof swept up and impacted against Ethan’s chest with a resounding clunk, and Ethan stumbled backwards. The unicorn pushed his advantage with another swing, but Ethan grabbed the hoof mid stroke and used it to get under the unicorn’s guard. Ethan then let fly a flurry of blows that knocked the unicorn backwards.

Shining roared in rage as he began to charge his horn, preparing a spell capable of killing a dragon. Ethan sensed the fact that he was about to be on the receiving end of something extremely painful and grabbed a buffout bottle from his pocket, and quickly ate three of the pills. Shining released the beam of magic seconds after he’d taken the pills, and braced himself for the oncoming pain. But the pain never came, instead Twilight appeared in front of Ethan, her horn and eyes blazing purple. Twilight absorbed the beam with a simple (to someone of her level) spell and then locked her eyes on Shining.

“Enough!” She shouted, with enough power flowing through her voice that she almost rivaled Luna. She grabbed Shining and Ethan in her purple magic and levitated them till they were facing each other. “Now you two will be friends. Or at the very least stop trying to kill each other, or so help me I’ll find a way to bring Celestia here and I’ll explain to her how her Captain of the Guard wanted to kill the one who protected her student!” Twilight told them both sternly, while directing most of it at Shining.

“Twily, put me down so I can end this idiot!” Shining shouted while he struggled impotently against her bonds.

“Shiny, would you tell me why you won’t stop trying to kill Ethan?” Twilight asked.

“Because he got you hurt!” Shining shouted.

“Oh, I get it now!” Ethan said, and Twilight turned to look at him.

“What do you get?” She asked in confusion.

“Your brother is angry at himself Sparky, he feels guilty that he wasn’t here to protect you himself.” Ethan explained simply.

“Shiny, is this true?” Twilight asked, turning to her brother who had sunk his head in shame.

“Yeah, yeah it is Twily.” He said softly Twilight released Ethan from her magic and he landed on the ground with a thump. Before he could protest the treatment Cassandra interrupted him with a firm kiss and a hard look. Twilight put Shining down much more gracefully and swept him into a hug.

“Shining, you didn’t bring me here. There’s nothing that you have to feel guilty about.” Twilight said softly.

“Twilight, I have a lot to feel guilty about.” Shining said miserably.

“Like what?” Twilight asked in confusion.

“Well let’s see, I wasn’t there to protect you from Nightmare Moon, or help you handle an invasion of parasprites, or against the dragon. Then there’s the time when you had to fight a hydra by yourself, I also wasn’t there to help you against Discord and I wasn’t there to help you through your mental breakdown. But worst of all was the wedding. First I allowed myself to be brainwashed by that shallow imitation, then I didn’t believe you when you pointed out what should’ve been obvious, and after that I was completely useless throughout the entire invasion until the end while you and your friends did my job!” Shining exclaimed, slumping. “I can’t protect either of the women that I care the most about Twilight. I also managed to betray Cadence, the mare who I’d do anything for!” Shining shouted before he broke down in his sister’s forelegs.

“Alright people, nothing to see here, come back later!” Cassandra said menacingly while she eyed the Brotherhood soldiers who were watching the event with interest. The Brotherhood members let out a tiny groan before they went back to what they were doing before and gave the two unicorns their space.

“Shiny…” Twilight said softly as she gripped her brother tighter as his body was rocked by waves of grief.

“I had sex with their queen Twily, I still don’t feel clean. I don’t deserve Cadence.” Shining told her.

“Cadence doesn’t blame you Shiny, you know that.” Twilight reassured her brother.

“I know and that makes it worse!” Shining said. “I know how to deal with anger, what I don’t know how to deal with is acceptance!”

***

“I feel like they’re getting sidetracked…” Ethan told Cassandra quietly.

“Shush, let them solve their problems.” His wife told him putting her finger on his lips to silence him.

***

“Why is there a crying unicorn in the courtyard Reginald?” Elder Lyons asked as he looked down at the commotion from his vantage point on the wall.

“I believe I heard something about a family reunion.” Rothchild said with a shrug.

“Hmm… Reginald, do you remember when we didn’t have odd things happening in the courtyard every two days?” Lyons asked with a sigh.

“Possibly, my mind is beginning to get fuzzy in my old age.” Rothchild replied with a chuckle. The two old men shared a laugh while things in the courtyard began to calm down slightly.

***

“Sorry Twily, I’ve been holding that in for a while.” Shining said with a slightly embarrassed cough.

“It’s fine Shiny, but you really need to talk to Cadence about this before the foal comes.” Twilight said, and Shining sighed.

“Yeah. You know, I kind of wish that we’d taken things a bit slower now.” Shining replied.

“Are you two done yet?” Ethan asked, walking up to Twilight. “Because Cassandra and I haven’t seen each other for a week and we would usually already be-”

“Yes, we’re done.” Twilight said, stopping Ethan from saying whatever he’d been about to say.

“Good. I’m glad that he’s not trying to kill me. Not that I was worried, but I already have a synthetic self-repairing assassin after me. I don’t really need an angry magical unicorn helping her.” Ethan replied with a grin.

“You have a what chasing you?” Shining asked in surprise.

“Really dangerous psychotic bitch who can heal herself.” Ethan replied with a shrug. “Oh, and she’s the one who took your sister’s eye and leg. So if you want someone to be angry at, use her.” Ethan told Shining.

“Ethan I just finished talking him down, how about we focus on something else for now?” Twilight asked changing the subject.

“Well then I’m off to have sex with my woman.” Ethan told her with a grin. “Don’t worry Sparky; I’m sure that when you get back home you can do that too.” He told her before strutting up to Cassandra and sweeping her off her feet.

“What did he mean by that? Do you have a stallion that you have your eyes on?” Shining asked Twilight.

“Dammit Ethan!” She shouted at Ethan who let out a loud chuckle as he walked towards the door.

“No Twily, seriously. What did he mean?” Shining asked again turning to give his sister an interrogative eye.

“Well uh, I uh, umm…” Twilight elaborated.

“Twily, I just spent the last fifteen minutes pouring my heart out; I’d say that the least I deserve is the name of the pony you’ve got your eye on.” Shining said with a slight chuckle.

“Celestia.” Twilight said quietly.

“What?”

“Celestia.” Twilight said a little louder.

“I still can’t hear you.” Shining said, cocking his head to the side as he tried to decode her words.

“Princess Celestia!” Twilight all but shouted. Shining’s mouth dropped open in surprise. Her brother looked at her incomprehensibly.

“You want to have sex with Princess Celestia.” Shining said flatly.

“Umm, yes.” Twilight replied.

“My sister is a fillyfooler, and she wants to fuck Princess Celestia. I need a nap.” Shining moaned.

***

“So did you actually mean anything when you said that Twilight had a nice ass?” Cassandra asked as she lay beside Ethan in the bed.

“Nope, it was just something to annoy the hell out of her brother.” Ethan replied with a chuckle.

“Good, I’d hate to think that I was competing for your affections with a horse.” Cassandra replied dryly.

“Cassie, you know you’re the only girl I look at.” Ethan told her, planting a kiss on her cheek.

“Damn right I am.” Cassandra replied with a chuckle. “So Ethan, I’ve been thinking…”

“Always a dangerous activity.”

“…We’ve been married for around three years, give or take a month of two. Right?” Cassandra asked.

“Yes…” Ethan said waiting for her to continue.

“When are we having kids?” Cassandra asked, rolling over on her elbows so she could look into Ethan’s blue eyes. A slightly scared look crossed Ethan’s face.

“What made you think about…kids?” Ethan asked slowly.

“Ethan, we’re both in our latish twenties. That’s old for parents in the Wasteland as it is, and honestly I spend a lot of time worrying that one of us is going to die.” Cassandra said with a sigh. Ethan rolled over and wrapped her in a hug, pressing himself against her comfortingly.

“Neither one of us is going to die anytime soon.” He told her reassuringly.

“Ethan, we need to have children.” Cassandra said firmly.

“Alright Cassie, we’ll have kids. How about once we finish killing whoever’s been jerking us around we go back to Vegas and work on that?” Ethan asked with a grin.

“Want to start now?” Cassandra asked with a smirk.

“You know me so well.” Ethan replied.

***

Shining Armor lay in his bed asleep, trying to summon Princess Luna with his mind. After what felt like an hour (actually four hours) she appeared. Shining was standing on a flat dusty plane, and Princess Luna materialized unexpectedly in front of him.

“Shining Armor, it is good to see you alive and well!” Luna exclaimed, stepping towards him with a smile.

“I’d say that ‘well’ is relative at this point, but yeah I’m alive.” Shining replied with a slight sigh.

“Things are not going smoothly I take it?” Luna asked with concern.

“No, they aren’t.” Shining replied grimly.

“What’s happened?” Luna asked. Shining briefly summarized the events of the last two days (skipping his break down of course).

“She lost a limb and an eye?” Luna asked in horror.

“Yes, you can see why I’m not doing well.” Shining replied. Luna closed her eyes and her horn began to glow, then it died unexpectedly.

“Shit!” Luna exclaimed eloquently, leaving Shining gaping in open mouthed surprise. “I can’t teleport things from where you are to Equestria, someone’s still blocking me!” Luna explained with a very angry look on her face.

“Who could possibly block you? You’re a god!” Shining asked.

“Someone who is also a god.” Luna answered dryly as if it should be obvious. “The real question is, what do they want Twilight there for in the first place?” Luna said with a grim expression.

“I don’t know Luna, but I’m going to find out if it kills me.” Shining said grimly.

“Report back if you make any progress, I’ll continue to look for a way around from my end, dismissed.” Luna replied, vanishing.

***

Cassandra awoke screaming, her body covered in sweat. In the dim light of his pipboy she could faintly make out the outline of Ethan’s face and the concern in his sad blue eyes.

“Which one?” He asked quietly.

“Cottonwood Cove.” She replied with a shiver as Ethan pulled her into an embrace.

“That’s a bad one.” He said as he stroked her red hair.

“I didn’t think about the prisoners, I didn’t know that they were there!” She told him, almost as if she was confessing a sin.

“I know Cassie, I know.” Ethan replied softly.

“Dammit! I should be over this by now!” Cassandra exclaimed angrily and she beat one of her fits against Ethan’s chest in anger.

“Cassie, if you got over it you wouldn’t be the woman that I love.” Ethan told her and she looked up at him with almost invisible tears welling up in her eyes. “You aren’t perfect Cassie, far from it, but then no one in the Wasteland is. We’ve all got our personal baggage and it’s what we do with that baggage that separates us from those we fight.” Ethan added with a grin as he kissed her forehead.

“Ethan, when did you get so preachy?” Cassandra asked with a smirk while she dried her eyes.

“I don’t know; would you like me to talk simply? Cause I do that stuff good to.” Ethan said with a simple smile crossing his face and a dull look entering his eyes.

“Oh shut up.”

***

Twilight Sparkle slept soundly without having anything significant happen to her… well that’s not exactly true. She did spend a little time picturing Celestia and… but that’s not really relevant.

Day 8 part 1

Day eight part 1

Edited by TacoTown

“So what are we going to do about this Supertramp woman?” Cassandra asked from where she was sitting across from Ethan and Twilight. Shining was still asleep while Veronica and Arcade were off doing something or other that involved science, flashing lights, and people making loud exclamations about how impossible things were. Ethan had never been into that kind of thing…

“I don’t know.” Ethan replied truthfully with a frown. “She seemed to shrug off most, if not all of my attacks and she had some wicked technology at her disposal. She managed to cut straight through my duster and my chest with a single shot.” Ethan added, his frown deepening.

“Ribs?” Cassandra asked.

“Fine, flesh and organs however…” Ethan replied with a shrug and a slight pat on his chest.

“Thank god for that plating.” Cassandra said with a small smile.

“Yeah, remind me to thank the tanks next time I’m there. Anyways, we’re dealing with someone extremely powerful. Not to mention that I’m pretty sure that she’s completely and utterly insane.” Ethan added.

“Since when is that new?” Cassandra asked with a smirk.

“It seems to me that our problem is that we really don’t know enough about her.” Twilight said.

“Yeah, if we knew what she really was we’d be able to think of something concrete. As it is the only thing I can think of is to try the most direct approach.” Ethan said rubbing his chin.

“What did you have in mind?” Cassandra asked.

“Sparky and I lure her into the open while you wait on a rooftop and snipe her. Meanwhile, Shining keeps her trapped in a shield from a safe distance while Veronica and Arcade do whatever it is they do.” Ethan replied with a shrug.

“Hmm… it could work.

***

Burke looked up in surprise as the door to his office was kicked (very literally) in by a large metal boot. A dozen thoughts soared through his head. Can I escape? Of course I can escape. I built in a dozen different ways out of here. Who is it? Maybe you should wait and see. Why the hell am I thinking this? Good question brain. As it turned out, the man who strode into the room was a very tall and sturdy man wearing legate armor (minus a mask). He had brown eyes that reminded Burke of the endless stretches of wasteland and a hard jaw that appeared to have been broken at some point in the past. Burke immediately jumped to his feet and lowered himself into a bow.

“My lord, I was not informed that you were coming so soon.” Burke said while keeping his eyes on the ground in deference to the man.

“I am aware of that Frumentarii; in fact that was my intention.” The legate said simply while narrowing his hard brown eyes.

“Have I done something to displease you my lord?” Burke asked hesitantly while eyeing the legate nervously.

“Not as of yet, I’m here to make sure that that remains the case. We have suffered repeated losses after the second battle of the dam and the Courier is pushing us back every day with her robots. The Capital Wasteland is our last chance to create what Caesar would’ve wanted; this shall be our final stand.” The legate explained his jaw set into a rock hard expression of determination.

“You seem very certain that I will not fail my lord.” Burke told the legate who gave him a withering smile that was enough to make even someone as cold as Burke flinch.

“Of course I am. This was your plan. If it fails, no matter why or how I will have you slowly killed until you are nothing but a shell. The first thing you will lose will be your feet below the ankles, then your hands at the wrist. Next you will lose your nose, then your left eye followed by the right. I’ll let you keep your ears so that you may hear the screams of the slaves and whelps upon their seeing of your destroyed form.” The legate told Burke almost conversationally. Burke froze for a few seconds. “Is something the matter Frumentarii? You seem troubled.” The legate added upon seeing the look that crossed Burke’s face.

“Of course not my lord… I was simply picturing our glorious victory over the pathetic people of this land.” Burke replied after a half second of thought.

“Good, I would hate for you to be thinking of anything else.” The legate told Burke with a passionless smile.

“My lord, I don’t remember you mentioning a name.” Burke said, trying to change the topic.

“That’s because I didn’t Frumentarii.” The legate said.

“I see; would you mind sharing it with me?” Burke asked.

“You may call me Octavian.”

***

“Sister, I have had great success!” Luna said as she woke Celestia up, it wasn’t even dawn yet…which should’ve been obvious…

“Luna I swear if this is about getting more orgasms out of Captain Bluestreak I’m going to kill you.” Celestia said tiredly. “How did he preform anyways?” She added as an afterthought.

“Very well. In fact, he’s almost up to my standards.” Luna replied brightly with a grin.

“Heaven help him then, hopefully he won’t die of dehydration like that griffin.” Celestia said with a smirk.

“He didn’t die; he was just unconscious for an hour or two!” Luna replied indignantly. “Besides, that was before we actually knew anything about medicine so it doesn’t count.” She added.

“I still hold my belief that asking a normal stallion to live up to the standards of the goddess of sex is a tad extreme.” Celestia said, giving Luna a small smile.

“It’s not that hard for them to orgasm twenty times, they just have to concentrate!” Luna replied with a snort.

“I suppose I should be happy you lowered it from fifty.” Celestia said with a sigh. Both sisters looked at each other for a few seconds in silence.

“Sister, did we just debate the semantics my sex life?” Luna asked with a small grin.

“I do believe we did sister.” Celestia said with a sigh. “Anyways, you said you’d made a great success…” Celestia said, trailing off with a hoof gesture for Luna to continue the thought.

“Oh yes, I’d forgotten in our discussion about stallions orgasming.” Luna replied with a smile which then fell from her face. “We’ve found Twilight Sparkle.” Luna said bluntly. Celestia’s face went through a gauntlet of emotions so fast that only someone who had known her as long as Luna (or Discord for that matter) would’ve been able to keep track of them. First was shock, then came amazement, next was exuberant joy. After that came an overwhelming outpouring of relief, but finally she caught sight of her sister’s face, which looked troubled, and her smile turned into a frown.

“What’s wrong Lulu?” Celestia asked and Luna sighed sadly. “She’s dead!” Celestia exclaimed, shocked.

“No sister, she isn’t dead.” Luna said with a frown.

“Oh, then what’s wrong?” Celestia asked in concern.

“Well…The Wasteland hasn’t been very kind to her.” Luna said shakily.

“Luna, stop avoiding the subject and tell me what’s happened to Twilight Sparkle!” Celestia said angrily.

“Sorry, I was just looking for a comforting way to put it.” Luna said, looking abashed.

“Luna just tell me, I’m over five thousand I’m sure I can take it!” Celestia said.

“Fine. Twilight Sparkle has spent the last seven days killing sentient beings for survival. She has also lost a leg and an eye which have been replaced by mechanical replicas.” Luna told her sister flatly.

“SHE WHAT?” Celestia asked in horror.

“Has lost a leg and an eye.” Luna repeated.

“But, but, but how?” Celestia asked seemingly unable to understand what Luna was telling her.

“Apparently she was hit by a missile.” Luna replied.

“A what?” Celestia asked.

“Oh right, sorry I forgot that you don’t get out much… A missile is basically an explosive arrow that is designed to punch through hard targets.” Luna explained to Celestia, who’s face contorted into a horrified open mouthed expression.

“Is she going to be okay?” Celestia asked.

“Apparently she’s already better and went to blow up a monster den with her companion the next day.” Luna answered with a shrug.

“She lost a leg and an eye, and the next day her companion drags her to a monster den?” Celestia asked a spark of anger appearing in her eyes.

“From what Shining has said it went well and they accomplished what they sent out to do.” Luna replied with another shrug.

“How can you say that so calmly Luna?!” Celestia asked, outraged by the unconcerned way her sister was describing events.

“Because while I was out looking for her I ran into a few places where she’d surely have died within a few minutes. Look Tia, she’s alive and she’s with someone who will be able to keep her alive. The bigger problem is that someone is blocking us from getting into or out of that place. In fact, it took me four hours to get into contact with Shining.” Luna told her sister with a worried frown.

“Dammit! Who could possibly be blocking us?” Celestia asked, her eyes narrowing.

“The better question sister, is why are they blocking us?” Luna said.

“I don’t know, but I’m going to find out.”

***

Shining Armor was awoken by one of the Brotherhood paladins shouting at the initiates that he was forced to bunk with.

“Drop your cocks and grab your socks you worthless idiots!”

Oh yeah it was going to be a great day…

***

“So we just reroute the electronic harmonizer.” Arcade said as his hands whisked over the object on the table.

“Then we fix the heat osculator.” Veronica added quickly screwing in an odd looking piece onto the object.

“Do you think we should worry about the phantom harmonizer?” Arcade asked turning to Veronica with a frown.

“Honestly, I’m more worried about the very evident over use of the conduction coils along the inner lining.” Arcade said as he tapped his chin in thought while looking at the mysterious item on the table.

“I know what you mean; it seems to need new springs on the intake system as well.” Veronica said with a thoughtful nod.

“Would you two hurry up and just fix it?” Rothchild asked from where he was standing behind them.

“Fine. Veronica, hand me the carbon fiber nanomesh.” Arcade told Veronica, who handed him it. Arcade took a few seconds to wrap the mesh inside the device. Veronica gingerly picked up the device, and reverently held it out to Rothchild. It was a small thing, almost insignificant, but to those who knew its true power it was the most powerful thing in the Wasteland.

“I hope you know the true value of this item.” Veronica whispered, her voice quiet and pinched with excitement.

“I look forward to using this in the morning, if that’s what you mean.” Rothchild said as he picked up the device with callous indifference, causing Veronica and Arcade to stare at him in shock.

“Be more careful!” Veronica said agitatedly.

“It’s a toaster.” Rothchild said simply before he strode out of the room.

“I’m starting to think we oversold it.” Arcade said with a frown, causing Veronica to chuckle.

“Serves him right for dragging us down here to fix a toaster.” Veronica said with a grin. “So, want to get breakfast?” She added.

“Sure, as long as it isn’t toast.”

Day 8 part 2

Edited by TacoTown

Day 8 part 2

Initiate Carmine was out on patrol with the rest of his squad. Knight Alex and Knight Samuel were on either side of him, while Paladin Jacobs took up the lead. They were on a routine patrol looking to clean out some of the raiders that had decided that the Brotherhood was too busy with the mutants to worry about them.

“Initiate, you really need to wear a helmet.” Knight Alex said as they marched along.

“No I don’t, it disrupts my vision, sir.” Carmine replied quickly.

“It’s going to get you shot in the head kid.” Paladin Jacobs told him sternly while his hazel eyes scanned for threats.

A slightly insane female laugh erupted from one of the back alleys and the entire squad turned in the direction with their weapons raised. They found nothing in the alley. The senior members of the squad exchanged worried glances and Paladin Jacobs gave the order to travel in a tighter formation. The laughter returned a few minutes later coming from a different alleyway. They scanned the area for half minute but once again found nothing.

“Something’s fucking with us.” Knight Alex said as his eyes scanned the other alleys warily. Suddenly, laughter

came from behind them and the squad who turned to find themselves faced with a single black haired women wearing slightly revealing leather armor.

“Oh look, someone left me some toys. I’ve always wanted my own set of tin soldiers to play with.” Supertramp said with a giggle.

The squad did the only thing that could be expected of them. The combined firepower of three plasma rifles along with a gatling laser (carried by Paladin Jacobs) streaked towards Supertramp in a green and red colored wave. The energy smashed into Supertramp, burning and melting her skin and burning the bones beneath. The Brotherhood kept on firing until they’d exhausted their clips, and as they reached for another Supertramp stepped forward.

In one lightning-quick stride she covered the ground between herself and Paladin Jacobs, who had yet to stop firing thanks to his larger ammo capacity. Lasers cut through her chest, but she bled only silver which began to reknit her skin and bones as she stepped forward. With a large smile on her face she slashed off an arm and grabbed the gatling laser. With a horrifically strong tug she pulled the laser weapon away from the Paladin, wrenching his arm out of socket in the process, before casually throwing it over her shoulder as if it were a twig.

The other members of the squad continued their fire, but it proved to be completely ineffective against Supertramp. With a feral grin on her face Supertramp pulled back her fist and punched directly into the area of the Paladin’s armor over his heart. The T45D armor imploded inward as Supertramp’s fist plunged into the man’s chest, cracking ribs as it went until it reached the man’s heart. With a satisfied laugh she tore the heart out of his body in a bloody explosion before bringing the heart up to her mouth and taking a hearty bite out of the still beating organ.

“What the hell?!” Knight Alex shouted as Supertramp bit into the heart.

“Yummy, I always did love canned goods.” Supertramp said with a sadistic smile as she stepped towards the others. Knight Samuel pulled out a ripper and revved it menacingly.

“Stay back.” He said firmly while keeping the ripper between them.

“Oh look, a mini chainsaw, how adorable.” Supertramp said with a smirk as she pulled out her laser pistol and shot Knight Samuel through the eye, blowing a large hole through the knight’s head and eliciting a shout of rage from Knight Alex, who charged towards Supertramp a powerfist attached to his left arm.

Supertramp caught the blow mid swing with one hand, and with almost loving care shot him in the chest with her pistol, sending the knight to the ground in a broken heap. Initiate Carmine had continued to fire throughout all of this, but his plasma rounds did nothing to stop the woman. She looked at him quizzically, tapping a finger against her chin as balls of plasma smashed into her face, leaving behind silver blotches that began to heal themselves instantly.

Then, a seductive look came over her face, and she stepped forward through several balls of plasma, knocked the plasma rifle out of the initiate’s hands, and much to the initiate’s surprise and disturbance, smashed her lips against his. The overwhelming taste of hot blood, molten metal, and an odd taste that Carmine didn’t recognize followed over his tongue as the woman’s tongue danced through his mouth. Carmine struggled valiantly against her, but he was powerless to stop her. After a minute long kiss the woman threw him to the side and licked her lips before throwing an object to the ground at his feet.

“Play that tape to Ethan Smith in the player.” She said with a chuckle as she walked away. With one last look back, the woman took another bite out of Paladin Jacobs’s heart and strode off into the distance, leaving behind an extremely confused (and horrified) Initiate Carmine in her wake.

***

“Alright, so we go out and we find her, get her trapped, and then keep shooting till she’s dead.” Ethan said, looking around at the others who nodded in agreement. Ethan, Cassandra, Twilight, Shining, Veronica, and Arcade sat, discussing what their next move against Supertramp should be.

“I still don’t like this plan.” Shining said, shooting Ethan a scowl.

“Duly noted. Anything else?” Ethan asked.

“No. Let’s do this.” Cassandra declared. Before any of them could so much as rise from the table Initiate Carmine burst into the cafeteria. His uniform was a tattered mess, and his eyes looked slightly crazed. His lips were stained with dried blood as if someone had kissed him with a broken lip.

“You need to hear this!” Carmine shouted, pointing at Ethan and pulling out the machine that Supertramp had left beside him as he law immobile on the ground. Before Ethan could do anything Carmine pressed a large button on the side of the machine and Supertramp’s voice filled the room.

I’ve grown bored waiting for you to come out of your little hole, so I’m going to give you some initiative! I’ve just killed a squad of Brotherhood soldiers and used one of them as a messenger. If you don’t meet me on top of the Anchorage War Memorial by the end of today then I’ll destroy Megaton and kill everyone there. If you still refuse to face me I’ll go to Vegas, burn the city to the ground, and rape your cunt of a wife with a powerfist.

Ethan was visibly shaking with rage at this point, and Cassandra’s eyes had hardened and glinted with fury.

Hmm. I feel like I’ve forgotten something. Let’s see, I challenged you, told you about the consequences of ignoring me, threatened to rape your wife, oh right, how could I be so careless. Activate code 654542.

Without warning Carmine’s head was consumed in a silvery swarm of hissing, seething motes of dust that flooded out of his nose, ears, and mouth. It took only seconds for the initiate’s head to vanish in a shower of red blood before the man even had a chance to scream. His body convulsed for a second before it dropped to the ground with a wet meaty thunk. Shining Armor and Twilight stared in horror as Ethan and Veronica looked down at the body with looks of sadness. Veronica and Arcade exchanged a worried look.

The rest of the Brotherhood members in the cafeteria looked at the fresh corpse in silent shock before they erupted in a roar of anger.

“Pride, get ready to mobilize. We’re killing her and sticking her head on a fucking pike!” Sarah Lyons shouted over the commotion. Immediately, the members of the Pride began to get up from their seats, but they were stopped by Ethan.

“Don’t, you’ll just die. She’s made this personal (well, more personal) by threatening my home and the people who I love. I’m going to kill her and I’m going to make sure that it’s slow and terrible.” He told them.

“Fuck that!” Dusk said with a snort. “I’m not going to let you tell me what to do anymore!” She added with a slight glare at Ethan.

“In order to deliver this message the woman had to kill at least three other Brotherhood soldiers, do you think that you can take her on?” Ethan asked her.

“Well I’m sure as hell not sitting here and waiting for you to kill her.” Dusk replied angrily.

“Alright, come on then let’s go.” Ethan said with a shrug.

Dusk looked at him in shock for a few seconds. (apparently she’d been expecting an argument of some kind). Then, with a shrug, the woman grabbed her sniper rifle from where it lay next to her on the floor and walked over to the group. Sarah Lyons traded a look with Ethan, and he knew that if Dusk died he’d be held directly responsible.

***

“Alright, we don’t have time to pick up anything from my house so I hope everyone has enough ammo.” Ethan said as they walked towards Rivet City.

“I’m good.” Cassandra said as she patted her trusty Anti-Material Rifle.

“Why are we going to Rivet City if time is of the essence?” Dusk asked with a slight growl.

“Because, there are only two men I know who could possibly know anything about Supertramp and they both live in Rivet City.” Ethan replied.

“Oh, who are they? Because I’ve never heard of anything like her and I grew up with the Enclave.” Arcade asked.

“Harkness and Pinkerton.” Ethan replied with a shrug.

“I thought Pinkerton died.” Dusk said.

“No, he just got kicked out by Doctor Lee and decided to move into the broken bow of the ship.” Ethan replied with a shrug.

“Ethan, didn’t you mention something about not wanting to bring me to Rivet City before?” Twilight asked from where she was walking on Ethan’s left.

“I still don’t, which is why I’m leaving you and your brother with Pinkerton. You’ll probably enjoy it. He’s a pretty cool guy once you get past the bad attitude and profanity.” Ethan replied with a chuckle.

Shining grunted, still a little annoyed at having to do what Ethan said but seeing as he didn’t know anyone around here he guessed that he might as well. As the great steel bulk of Rivet City reared up on the horizon, the group headed towards the broken down bow. Ethan led them inside the creaking section of the ship and was immediately confronted by a very confused mirelurk. With a casual flip of his wrist, Ethan sent his shock sword into the mirelurk’s chest before tossing it to the side.

“Oh yeah, he lets the mirelurks breed as a form of extra security, don’t worry though, I clean them out every once in a while so there shouldn’t be too many at the moment.” Ethan told them. Dusk scowled at him for the lack of forewarning but Ethan had already started forward. They were attacked twice more by mirelurks, but Ethan and Cassandra killed them all before the others even got a chance to raise their weapons. When they came to a thick metal door with an electronic combination lock on it Ethan walked up to the lock, entered a long series of numbers, and the door slid away.

“Hey old man, you in here?” Ethan called.

“Where the hell else would I be you little snot?” Pinkerton shouted back as he came up to look down at their group from his place on the upper balcony.

“I don’t know; you could’ve died.” Ethan replied with a shrug as he led the rest of the group into the large room.

“Kid, if I die before you it’ll be because the boat gets blown up.” Pinkerton said with a scowl before his gaze fell upon the rest of Ethan’s companions. “A fucking cyborg unicorn. Only you Ethan, only you.” The old man said, rolling his eyes heavenward.

“Make that two unicorns. I need you to watch them while I dig up some information.” Ethan said.

“Since when did I become a baby sitter?” Pinkerton asked with a scowl.

“I thought that you’d be overjoyed to get a look at two talking magical unicorns, but I guess if you don’t…” Ethan said trailing off.

“Leave them here, I’ll keep them safe.” Pinkerton said dismissively and Ethan smirked at him triumphantly.

“Okay we’ll be back in an hour or so.” Ethan replied, smirk still in place as he lead the five humans back the way they’d come.

Twilight Sparkle made her way up to where Pinkerton was standing, looking around herself inquisitively, Shining followed behind, slightly slower as he scanned the area for threats. Pinkerton looked at Twilight with interest, his old eyes absorbing every line of her body while Twilight did the same to him. After several minutes of silent observation Pinkerton sighed.

“So, can you talk?” He asked.

“Very well thanks.” Twilight replied with a smile.

“Should I even ask how in the hell a horse acquired a working set of vocal cords?” Pinkerton asked.

“Well, we’re ponies not horses.” Twilight replied with a cheeky grin.

“Oh that’s right, what was I thinking?” Pinkerton asked with a weary chuckle.

***

“Alright, you three head down to the bar while Cassandra and I talk to Harkness.” Ethan said.

“Why can’t we come?” Dusk asked.

“Because Harkness doesn’t know you and he probably wouldn’t tell us what we need to know if you were there.” Ethan replied simply.

“Fine, I could use a drink anyways.” Dusk said with a scowl as she headed towards the doorway to the Muddy Rudder.

“Keep her from killing something.” Cassandra told Veronica.

“We might be able to manage that.” Arcade replied with a shrug before the two walked after the annoyed Pride member. Ethan and Cassandra made their way up to Harkness’s office and found that he was alone.

“Ethan, Cassandra, what can I do for you?” Harkness asked, looking up from a small pile of papers.

“We have a problem and only you can help us.” Ethan said.

“Well I’ll try my best, but if you two can’t solve it I don’t see how I possibly can.” Harkness said with a good-natured chuckle and a smile.

“We need information about the Institute.” Cassandra told him. Harkness’s face immediately fell into a deep scowl and joviality left his face.

“Why are you asking me about that?” He asked guardedly.

“I’m being chased by someone known as Supertramp, she claims to be from there and I need to know how to fight her.” Ethan answered. The blood drained completely from Harkness’s face, leaving him white as a corpse.

“She’s after you?” Harkness asked his eyes wide with terror.

“Yep, and I’m going to kill her.” Ethan replied with a grin.

“Ethan if you fight her you’re going to die horribly, quite possibly while being shoved through a wood-chipper face first, and then immolated in liquid iron so that she can use part of you as a bullet.” Harkness told Ethan flatly.

“Well, I’ve already fought her once and I didn’t have any encounters with wood-chippers so I’m going to assume that I’ll be fine once I know what I’m up against.” Ethan replied with a shrug. “Besides, I’ve got Cassie here with me, can you think of anyone who could possibly beat the two of us in a fight?” Ethan asked.

“Yes, her.” Harkness replied flatly.

“You’re such a kill joy sometimes Harkness, you know that right?” Ethan complained.

“Ethan.” Cassandra said giving her husband a hard look.

“Fine. I let you handle this because you’re obviously so much better at it than I am.” Ethan huffed.

“Who talked her way to power?” She shot back before turning back to Harkness. “This woman has already come close to killing Ethan. Besides that she’s threatened to burn my city to the ground, for both of those things I’m going to kill her-“

“She also called you a cunt.” Ethan interjected.

“-that too, for those three things I’m going to kill her and you’re the only one who could possibly know how. Now are you going to help us or am I going to have to knock you unconscious and download your data on her rout of your head the old fashioned way?” Cassandra asked leaning forward and staring into Harkness’s eyes.

“Did you just say what I think you said?” Harkness growled.

“Yes, and I’ll do it if you won’t help us.” Cassandra said, her eyes narrowing dangerously as she leaned closer to Harkness. They had a stare off for several seconds before Harkness blinked and lowered his eyes.

“Fine, have it your way. Go and sacrifice two of the only people who really seem to give a damn about the Wasteland.” Harkness said with a resigned sigh. Cassandra’s gaze softened but nodded for him to begin speaking. “Alexandria Supertramp; born approximately fifty years ago to two lower level scientists at the Institute. Had a normal life (or at least as normal as you could have there) growing up and showed no real inborn talent towards the scientific pursuits. At the age of ten she killed both of her parents with a spork. It was said to be an extremely painful death. From there she spent the next several years in a lab being experimented on. When she emerged ten years later she was viscous, crazy (or at least crazier than she was before), and absolutely deadly-” Harkness said.

“Thanks for the origin story (especially the part about the spork) but we need to know about what she can do now.” Ethan said.

“I was getting to it.” Harkness replied. “-Anyways she’s been infused with a vast colony of nanobots that have over time eaten away and replaced her organic organs and flesh. These nanobots give her extreme healing abilities along with strength vastly superior to any normal being. That isn’t all however-”

“Oh it gets worse?” Ethan asked with a slight grin, and Harkness shot him a scowl.

“-Apparently she’s unkillable and can punch clean through powerarmor with minimal effort. Oh, and did I mention that she’s insane?” Harkness asked, finishing his description.

“Once or twice, so has anybody ever gotten close to killing her?” Ethan asked.

“Once, some genius led her into an old prewar pulse field. From what I heard it fried a lot of her nanobots and bought the man enough time to get away. Then again he ran to Canada, and it’s a real hellhole up there so I kind of doubt that he’s really any better off.” Harkness answered with a shrug.

“What’s wrong with Canada?” Ethan asked puzzledly.

“Giant robotic worms with machineguns mounted on their heads, psychotic clowns with knives, and enough gang conflict to make you happy the most of the American population was killed.” Harkness explained with a shrug.

“They have clowns?!” Ethan asked excitedly.

“Ethan shut up.” Cassandra interjected, shooting her husband a look.

“But I’ve always wanted to shoot a clown, they’re too damn happy.” Ethan said dejectedly.

***

“I went mad out in the wastes once you know.” Arcade told Veronica as they sat at the bar of the Muddy Rudder.

“Really? I never thought that you were the type.” Veronica replied in an interested voice as she sipped at a bottle of Nuka Cola (it was times like these she wished that they’d brought Cass with them, that woman was amazing in bars.)

“Yeah, it was a little while after I left the Enclave before I joined up with the Followers. For some reason I decided that I was a lemon. I spent around three months jumping in and out of a lake pretending to be a gin and tonic.” Arcade replied with a chuckle.

“How did you survive?” Dusk asked looking over at him from where she was sitting next to Veronica.

“I ate fish; I was a very weird lemon.” Arcade answered with another chuckle.

“Hey Dusk, if you don’t mind me asking why do you hate Ethan?” Veronica asked, turning to face the other woman.

“I have my reasons.” Dusk said with a frown.

“Which would be…?” Arcade asked.

“To be honest it’s because he’s such an ass. I mean, if any other member of the Brotherhood talked to Elder Lyons the way he does they would’ve been demoted back to initiate. Besides that he goes around stealing credit for everything the Brotherhood has done!” She answered angrily before taking a sip of her water.

“I know what you mean, and he is kind of an ass.” Arcade replied with a shrug.

“Finally, someone who gets it! Anytime I say something like that people give me blank stares!” Dusk said with a scowl.

“No offense, but it’s probably because he’s one of the few people who seem to give a damn.” Veronica told her with a shrug.

“I know that, and I’m glad he does. I just wish that he wasn’t such an ass.” Dusk replied before draining her glass. They sat in silence for the next few minutes till Ethan and Cassandra arrived.

“Alright, time to go get Sparky and her brother.” Ethan told them, the three rose without comment and followed them out.

***

“So your country is run by a celestial diarchy who control both the sun and the moon. Living underneath them are unicorns like yourself and your brother, pegasi that can control the weather, and normal ponies who are good farmers.” Pinkerton stated quickly, summarizing what they’d been discussing over the last half hour.

“Yes, that’s a good summarization.” Twilight replied with a grin.

“If it wasn’t for the fact that I’ve never touched a goddamned chem I would swear that I was high right now.” Pinkerton said with a sigh as he massaged his nose.

“Now that we’ve got that done, let’s talk about science!” Twilight said excitedly as she eyed the devices around the room.

“Sparky, it’s time to go.” Ethan called from the doorway.

“But, but, I, we, dammit!”

Day 8 part 3

Edited by TacoTown

Day 8 part 3

Supertramp was bored. So she decided to create a little art project. Now the statues of the Anchorage war memorial were decorated by severed raider heads. She would’ve preferred to use innocent people, but the only ones around were two sex slaves and a drunk idiot. Not that she had anything against killing drunks and sex slaves (she was an equal opportunity insane killing machine after all, and would never avoid someone because of their race, gender, physical appearance, or mental status. In her eyes they were all dead anyways so why worry about a little thing like the way someone looks?) but she felt like those people were miserable enough without her help. Besides, if she wanted to smell like beer and semen then she’d wait till she celebrated her victory with Burke, and then kill him… slowly… with her hand…

She stepped back to survey her work. The once gray statues were now covered in blood and were wearing necklaces made out of the entrails of the raiders, while the bodies were piled up around their feet. Yes it was a good day to be Supertramp.

***

“Alright. Cassie, you and Dusk are going to go to the roof of that building over there and take shots at her when you see an opening, or one of is about to die. Arcade you shoot her with the Pulse Gun, which will hopefully (although I wouldn’t count on it) force her to restart her systems. Meanwhile, Veronica, Shining, and I will keep her busy at close range while Sparky evaluates how things are going and occasionally hits her with the magics.” Ethan said, going over the plan one final time.

“Ethan, please don’t refer to my magic as ‘the magics’.” Twilight told him with a frown.

“No promises Sparky.” Ethan replied with a grin.

“How about my sister goes with your wife? I don’t want her getting hurt.” Shining asked Ethan.

“Shiny, I’m perfectly capable of defending myself.” Twilight told him sternly.

“I don’t care Twily, you’re not fighting with us.” Shining said looking down at his sister from his greater height.

“Yeah, um, no, I’m going to be fighting with you whether you like it or not, end of discussion.” Twilight replied.

“Dammit Twilight, I am your brother and you will listen when I tell you that you can’t fight someone!” Shining shouted.

“Both of you shut up.” Cassandra said stepping between the two unicorns. “You two are wasting our time. Shining, your sister will assist Ethan in whatever way she thinks she is capable of. You will keep your mouth shut and be thankful about it.” Cassandra continued, while staring into Shining’s eyes until he was forced to look away under the force of her glare. “Now get your ass in gear soldier!” She told him forcefully before walking over to where Ethan had stepped away and was now admiring his wife.

“Years of dealing with the NCR?” He asked with a wide grin.

“Yes, it does make you rather good at ordering soldiers around and the unicorn is definitely a soldier.” Cassandra replied with a smirk. Ethan gave her a quick kiss on the lips.

“For luck.” He explained with a grin. Cassandra pulled him into a far deeper embrace, which left those around them looking away uncomfortably.

“For life.” She said once she pulled away.

“Well after that I’m definitely ready to keep on living.” Ethan replied happily with a smile.

“If you two are done making the rest of us feel awkward about our lack of sex lives then maybe we could do this?” Arcade asked dryly.

“I don’t know, I think we could fit some casual sex into this, what about you Cassie?” Ethan asked with a grin.

“Ethan, I sometimes wonder why I married you…” Cassandra replied dryly, but the others could tell that she didn’t mean it by the look in her eyes.

“Because of my raw animal magnetism of course.” Ethan replied with a large grin.

“Yeah, that’s it.” Cassandra smirked. “Alright people, you know your orders. Dusk, you’re with me.” Cassandra said, before heading towards Dukov's Place.

“Are you sure the owner won’t mind us barging into his hotel? Not that I really care, but I don’t feel like wasting the bullets.” Dusk asked, and Cassandra chuckled.

“Don’t worry about Dukov, I’ll handle him.”

***

Supertramp was lying on a bed made from freshly slaughtered mirelurk corpses when she noticed the sound of three pairs of feet (along with eight pairs of hooves) walking up the steps of the Anchorage War Memorial. With a sound that was a mix of an ecstatic squee and a feral growl she rolled to her feet. Ethan stood at the top of the steps, flanked by Twilight and Veronica while Arcade stood slightly behind them next to Shining.

“You made it! Aww, I wanted to kill more people.” Supertramp said with a pout as she stepped forward. Then her gaze settled on Twilight. “Nice upgrades, although personally I think you would’ve looked better with stumps.”

“Personally, I think that you would look better with your severed head adorning my horn, but we can’t always get what we wish for can we?” Twilight replied with a grim grin.

“So are we going to fight, or are just going to exchange witty banter? Not that I’m not a fan of witty banter, but I really want to kill you.” Ethan asked.

“I was waiting for you to ask!” Supertramp said excitedly as she drew her laser pistol and shot a bolt of dark blue energy straight at Ethan’s head.

Before the bolt could travel all the way two magical shields popped up. Shining’s was in front, while Twilight’s was half a foot behind. The beam smashed into and splintered Shining’s shield, passing through without much resistance. But when it hit Twilight’s shield, the beam was redirected back at Supertramp who ducked just in time to avoid having to go to the trouble of healing a major head wound.

“Twily?” Shining asked in confusion.

“You can’t just block something like that Shiny, you have to redirect it.” Twilight replied.

Meanwhile, Supertramp had unleashed another shot of her pistol, sending the beam of light arcing towards Veronica who dodged to the side, but wasn’t fast enough to avoid the beam completely. With a horrific sound the beam sliced through the right shoulder guard leaving a large black hole. Veronica was fine, but she had no idea how she’d patch that hole…

Ethan opened up on Supertramp with his 12.7mm, sending wave after wave of ammo into the woman who came running at him, her own laser pistol blazing. The 12.7mm bullets slammed into Supertramp, causing huge holes to appear all over her body, but they quickly began to heal. Ethan had avoided the majority of the lasers, but one had caught him in the chest, carving a hole out through the back of his chest. Ethan grimaced in pain as his skin reknit itself and recovered in time, unloading a full clip into Supertramp’s head as she came in to engage him in close combat. The woman was thrown backwards by the force of the bullets, but landed in a roll and quickly regained her footing.

Twilight shot a lance of fire at the woman, who absorbed the fire with a smile on her face, before firing a laser at Twilight who deflected it right back at her. Supertramp allowed the beam to slice through her spine, and smirked at the horrified look that overcame Shining’s face as her organs healed. Then with a loud laugh, Supertramp pulled her missile launcher off of her back and sent out a barrage of missiles at the group. Ethan ran forward, ducking under the missiles as they streaked towards the others and drew his shock sword.

Two matching domes of magical energy shielded the rest of the party. This time with Twilight’s on top. The missiles impacted with a tremendous explosion that shattered Twilight’s shield, but Shining’s withstood it with only a ripple. Shining sent her a smirk, his sister may know how to deal with smaller problems better, but he was the one to call when overwhelming force was required.

“Okay that’s it, unicorns are hax!” Supertramp shouted as she ducked underneath a blow from Ethan’s shock sword, and delivered an uppercut that snapped Ethan’s neck and sent him stumbling backwards. Ethan recovered, and sent out a blisteringly fast slash that cut deep into Supertramp’s arm. She let out a scream of rage, and sent Ethan flying with a punch to the stomach that succeeded in knocking the wind out of him long enough for her to grab him by the front of his duster and smash him into the ground with enough force to dent the concrete.

“Any last words?” She asked as she pointed the laser pistol at his head.

“Yeah, Arcade please shoot her.” Ethan said calmly. Arcade shot Supertramp with the pulse gun. The beam of bright blue energy enveloped Supertramp for a fraction of a second before it disappeared hissing into nothingness.

“Did you really think that that would hurt me?” Supertramp asked as she looked down at Ethan.

“Na, but I figured this would.” Ethan replied, just as a large 50. caliber bullet smashed into Supertramp’s chest, from which it sent out a small eruption of flames that coated the woman’s body, melting through her armor, flesh, and muscle.

Supertramp flailed her arms in an attempt to stop the flames, but another bullet slammed into her chest, igniting another blaze. Ethan joined in, rolling back to his feet and sending a full clip of 12.7mm ammo flying into the woman. Veronica took the initiative and ran at Supertramp, delivering a powerful one-handed blast of ballistic fist to the face. Shining and Twilight added their own contributions in the form of blasts of energy that vaporized what little skin was left. The burnt body fell to the ground, clearly dead.

“Well guys good work, that’s one less insane psychopath to deal with.” Ethan said turning his back on the corpse. Twilight let out a gasp and Ethan sighed. “She’s regenerating isn’t she?” He asked dryly and received astounded nodes from the rest of the group. Ethan turned around to find that yes indeed Supertramp’s burnt body was already regenerating itself and waves of silver liquid streamed across it, rejuvenating the destroyed flesh. Instead of waiting for the process to continue, Ethan shot the body with his 12.7, but it didn’t have much effect on the swirling silvery liquid, which seemed to ignore his efforts as it went about its work.

“Ethan, what do we do?” Twilight asked hesitantly.

“Keep killing her till she stays dead.” Ethan replied with a shrug before turning back to Supertramp, who was standing behind him entirely naked.

“Hmm… it’s been awhile since someone managed to force a full on regeneration. I think I’ll actually have to start trying now.” She said with a wicked grin as her leather armor appeared again (apparently it to was made of nanobots).

***

“Damn!” Dusk whispered from her vantage point next to Cassandra. The two women were lying side by side on their stomachs with their rifles poking over the side of the building. They’d just witnessed something absolutely impossible. Even Cassandra was shocked by what she’d seen, and that was impressive in and of itself.

“He needs me down there.” Cassandra told Dusk softly.

“Go, I’ll keep you covered.” Dusk replied fitting another clip into her rifle. Cassandra nodded, and took the most direct route possible. She quickly clipped her anti-material rifle to her back, steadied herself for a second and then sprinted off the building while her red hair glinted in the sunlight. She landed in a crouch and sprinted towards the battle with her automatic riot shotgun out and ready to go. Dusk returned her gaze to the battle looking down her scope to see how things were progressing.

***

Ethan’s blade dug into Supertramp’s chest, but couldn’t seem to find any purchase and instead slipped out without causing any harm. She countered by unleashing a lightning fast series of blows to his chest, which sent him backwards, coughing. Supertramp lunged in for the kill, but was stopped by a sudden force blasting her off of her feet. She rolled back to them in time to see Twilight’s horn stop glowing and let out an angry battle cry before charging at the unicorn, only to run head first into Shining’s newly erected shield.

To both unicorns’ considerable surprise, Supertramp pulled back her fist and smashed through the barrier with a sickening crunch that caused every part of her hand to disintegrate, before it began to reform seconds later in a cloud of silver. Supertramp continued towards Twilight, who quickly sent a wave of fire-laced force at Supertramp, which passed over her, covering the woman’s body with intense burns. But Supertramp ignored them, and continued on her way. Veronica came in from the side and attempted to uppercut the woman while she was focused on Twilight, but Supertramp pulled out her pistol and shot Veronica in the chest. The beam burned around halfway through the chest piece of her T51B, sending the ex-Brotherhood scribe stumbling backwards in pain as the heat of the beam burned into her breasts.

“Ow, ow, ow, hey watch it, I need these!” Veronica shouted as she stumbled away into the waiting arms of Arcade, who stuck a super stimpack into the proper receiver on her armor.

“Be more careful, we only have a few of these.” He admonished her before pushing her back towards the fight.

Supertramp jumped forward at Twilight with a wicked grin on her face, but suddenly found herself held in midair in a magical grip. Twilight raised an eyebrow mockingly at the woman before smashing her into the ground and throwing her at Veronica, who punched her in midair with her ballistic fist, sending the woman flying into her own art project where she landed with a wet sound.

“And it’s good!” Ethan shouted, running up behind Veronica and charging towards Supertramp who had nimbly risen to her feet with a wild snarl. Cassandra came up unnoticed from behind the crazed assassin and unloaded a full clip of dragon’s breath riot shotgun ammo into Supertramp’s back, causing her to be engulfed yet again in flames.

“What is it with you people and fire?” Supertramp shouted as her flaming body ran at Ethan who unloaded another clip of his 12.7 into her with little to no effect.

He dove backwards to avoid her fist as it whistled through the air where he’d been standing moments earlier. Seeing that her shotgun was just annoying Supertramp, Cassandra turned to her favorite weapon for support. Without warning she pulled out her light machine gun and opened up in a whistling hail of 5.56 bullets that drove through Supertramp and reduced her torso to a silvery mess as her nanobots repaired her.

“Now you’ve gone and made me mad!” Supertramp shouted, and before either Ethan or Cassandra knew what had happened the woman had her impossibly strong hands around their throats. Supertramp’s arms had extended several feet in either direction, catching both the Wanderer and the Courier off guard. Cassandra struggled in the mechanical grip, but it was proving impossible and even her advanced body was beginning to lose the fight for life. Ethan was in the same position.

Twilight and Shining Armor unleashed a barrage of spells but they all glanced harmlessly off of the woman. Arcade shot her with his plasma defender, but the bolt simply dissipated off of her metal laced skin. Veronica charged and slammed her ballistic fist into the woman’s face, but she only laughed and tightened her grip.

***

Dusk frantically looked through her pack for another clip of .308. Things had gone to hell and it looked as though the impossible was about to happen. Ethan the Lone Wanderer (and insufferable asshole) was about to die. Well not if Dusk had anything to say about it! Her hand grasped onto another clip and she quickly retrieved it. To her surprise the clip had a sheet of paper attached to it.

When the impossible is about to happen, and only a sniper can decide who wins and who dies, use this to make history. You have one shot, don’t miss.

.W.

Dusk stared at the note for a second before she tore it off and jammed the clip into the rifle. She brought the scope up to her eye and viewed the situation with the detached feeling of an experienced sniper. Dusk saw Ethan’s face beginning to turn blue, and Cassandra’s wasn’t far behind. the rest of the group where doing whatever they could to dislodge the woman, but nothing was having any effect. Dusk briefly considered letting Ethan die and then taking the shot, but she dismissed the notion, it wasn’t the Brotherhood way.

Dusk lined up the crosshairs over the laughing woman’s heart, and pulled the trigger. The bullet exploded out of her rifle, and almost seemed to be howling in anger as it flew towards its target.

***

Twilight watched in horror as the life began to leave Ethan, and the man began to slowly stop struggling in the woman’s cold steel hand. Then a sound like a thousand screeching phoenixes diving towards someone antagonizing their chick reached her sensitive ears. Supertramp noticed it a few seconds later.

“The hell is that?” She asked before a bright light arced into her chest from on top of a nearby building.

The bullet slammed into her chest, easily pushing aside the nanobots that rose up to stop it until it reached her heart, where it stopped dead before dissolving. A look of intense pain came over Supertramp’s face and she dropped both Ethan and Cassandra who fainted into unconsciousness. Then Supertramp began to scream.

“What’s happening? I can’t hear my bots! What did you do to me?!” She screamed, a wave of orange flowing over her body, destroying any silver that it found along the way until every nanobot in or on the woman’s body had been destroyed. Twilight’s face became a wide, bloodthirsty one as she realized what had happened. She grabbed Supertramp in her TK and brought the woman over to hang in the in front of her.

“I don’t have very long until the initial impact of the bullet kills you, but I think I can get my money’s worth.” Twilight told Supertramp with a bloodthirsty grin.

Without another word Twilight ripped the woman’s leg off. Shining stood paralyzed in surprised horror. Twilight casually looked at the limb in her magical grasp before she brought the jagged piece of bone up to Supertramp’s eye.

“There’s an old human expression, an eye for an eye. I’d say that it’s appropriate in this case.” Twilight said before she drove the bone into Supertramp’s eye. Supertramp’s body fell lifelessly to the ground, and Twilight looked at it impassively before spitting on it and walking over to Ethan’s body where she put an ear to his chest to listen to his heart.

“Twily…” Shining said in open mouthed shock.

“Let her be.” Veronica said, coming up behind him and pulling the stallion away.

“But-”

“Let her be.” Veronica insisted, her eyes hard. Shining sighed and did as the scribe commanded.

Twilight took a stimpack out of her pack and pressed it into Ethan’s neck before pressing down the plunger. Out of her view Arcade did the same with Cassandra, whose white face immediately brightened as it regained color. Ethan however didn’t respond, and Twilight began to beat on his chest with her hooves desperately trying to revive him.

“Dammit Ethan, don’t you dare die on me!” She shouted as she inserted another stimpack into the man. When nothing happened Twilight laid her head on Ethan’s leather clad chest and began to cry softly.

“Geez Sparky relax; I’m hard to kill remember?” Ethan’s voice suddenly said. Twilight looked up in surprise to find that Ethan’s eyes were once again open, and a large smile was on his face.

“Were you just playing possum?” Twilight asked softly.

“If you mean pretending to be dead in order to get a reaction out of you, then no I wasn’t.” Ethan told her with a grin.

“Goddesses dammit Ethan, you had me worried!” Twilight shouted but Ethan just gave her that infuriating smile of his.

“I didn’t know you cared that much Sparky, but I’d just like to remind you that I’m not into that kind of thing.” Ethan told her, causing Twilight to snort with unexpected laughter. “So how’d we win? Because last time I was conscious it looked like I was going to be dead pretty soon.” Ethan asked.

“That would be thanks to me.” Dusk said, coming up from behind them.

“Then you have my thanks.” Ethan said as he rose to his feet and held out his hand to the woman, who clasped it in a grip hard enough to almost make Ethan wince.

“How’d you do it anyways?” Ethan asked.

“Magic bullet.” Dusk replied with an odd expression on her face.

“What do you mean?” Ethan asked, with an interested look on his face.

“I mean a bullet that I’ve never seen before appeared in my pack with a note telling me to use it to do the impossible.” Dusk said, handing Ethan the note.

“It’s signed W.” Ethan murmured with a frown. “Do you remember anyone going near your pack while you were at the Muddy Rudder?” Ethan asked, changing topics. Dusk thought about it for a second before a look of realization crossed her face.

“Now that you mention it yes, yes someone did! It was some blonde woman with really old looking eyes. I’m not sure how I forgot, because let me tell you that woman was beautiful.Not that I'm a lesbian, but she you don't forget someone like that even if you are straight...” Dusk said trailing off with an uncertain look.

“Alright, someone is fucking with us.” Ethan said, turning to Twilight.

“Yeah that sounds like the same person who sent the mercs after us, why would she give Dusk a magic bullet?” Twilight said, scrunching up her face as she tried to figure it out.

“You had mercenaries after you!” Shining shouted in surprise (he’d just begun to get over the fact that his sister had torn off someone’s leg and used it to stab out their eye).

“Yeah, it wasn’t a big deal.” Twilight replied with a shrug.

“Not a big deal, Twily you had professional killers after you, how is that not a big deal?” Shining asked incredulously.

“Well judging from how fast I killed them they obviously weren’t very good.” Twilight replied with a shrug.

“I’m going to need therapy.” Shining said shaking his head despairingly.

“I could do it, I’m certified.” Ethan replied giving him a grin.

“No thanks, I’d probably be better off with Discord.”

Day 9 part 1

Edited by TacoTown

Day 9 part 1

Ethan sat around his breakfast table, which he’d hauled out of the upstairs closet along with the rest of his (numerous) dining companions. Ethan had pulled out all the stops for this one, and the table was piled high with a plethora of offerings, and taking center stage was a large plate stacked high with deathclaw egg omelets. The sounds of Cassandra moaning happily as the fluffy cheese-filled egg hit her mouth were enough to make Ethan chuckle as he took in the look of pure pleasure on his wife’s face.

“And here I thought you loved me for my intelligence and good looks.” Ethan said, cocking an eyebrow at his wife.

“Hell no! I’m here for the food!” Cassandra replied with a smirk before turning her head back to the omelet on her plate and taking another monstrous bite.

“I’ve never had deathclaw egg before, how did you get it?” Dusk asked from where she was chewing a bite of egg slowly, she didn’t seem as perceptible to the affects as Cassandra or Twilight (whose brother was shooting Ethan increasingly angry looks as his sister’s pleasured moaning filled his ears. Ethan just grinned back and lifted his eyebrows repeatedly.)

“With the bloody end of my shock sword.” Ethan replied with a shrug.

“You killed a deathclaw with a sword!” Dusk exclaimed.

“Yeah, they’re pretty easy to do that to, or at over here in D.C. Out west where Cassie lives they’re a lot tougher for some reason.” Ethan replied with another shrug.

“It’s because they’ve been competing with the cazadors and nightstalkers for so long.” Cassandra filled in between bites.

“Thank god they don’t live here; seriously, I would rather fight an entire army of Alpha deathclaws naked singing Butcher Pete and using a rusty switchblade then have cazadors live here.” Ethan replied.

“I’ve been eating these things babies and I still don’t know what one looks like, can we take a field trip Ethan?” Twilight asked.

“Sure, Olney’s farther away, but I don’t really feel like going crawling through the breeding ground so that’s where we’ll go.” Ethan replied with a smile.

“Why would you want to see something called a deathclaw?” Shining asked, looking at his sister with a combination of shock and annoyance on his face.

“Because, if I’m going to eat something I want to know what it looks like.” Twilight replied with a smile. Shining began to slam his head into the table, much to the amusement of the rest of the people sitting around the table.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to give you therapy? Like I said, I’m certified.” Ethan asked the unicorn who continued to bang his head.

“No-BANG-I’ve- BANG-Got- BANG-This-BANG-Just- BANG –Give-BANG-Me-BANG-A-BANG-Second-BANG!” Shining replied in-between face smashes. “Okay, I’m good.” Shining said with a tired sigh, he now sported a rather large bruise across his forehead…

“Are you okay Shiny? You don’t look so good.” Twilight asked, looking her brother over with concern showing in her gaze.

“I’ll be fine after I go lie down for a while; this place is getting to me.” Shining replied before heading out the door and towards the bar/hotel that he’d stayed in last night.

“What’s his problem?” Veronica asked as she ate another spoonful of sugar bombs.

“He’s never been good with change.” Twilight answered with a shrug.

“So Dusk, what’re your plans? Because I’m guessing that you don’t want to hang around me any longer then you have to, right?” Ethan asked Dusk, changing topic.

“You’re right about that, I still don’t like you. Anyways, I’m going to head back to the Brotherhood, but only after you do something for me.” She said with a wicked grin on her face.

“I’m already married, but if Cassandra’s up for a threesome then sure.” Ethan replied with a matching grin.

“You couldn’t get your shrunken, irradiated dick anywhere near me. What you’re going to do is make a holotape recording about how I saved you ass.” Dusk replied her grin growing wider.

“Okay, I can do that.” Ethan replied easily, catching Dusk off guard.

“Wait, really?” Dusk asked in surprise.

“Yep, honestly I’m tired of being the only one that Threedog mentions. Actually, fuck it. After I’m done showing Sparky Olney we’ll head down to the Galaxy News building and I’ll give him an entire recounting of it, which will include how you saved my ass in explicate detail.” Ethan answered.

“Hmm… I might just start liking you.” Dusk said after thinking it over for a minute before she pushed away from the table and walked out the front door without a backwards glance.

“It isn’t shrunken, is it Cassie?” Ethan asked his wife who rolled her eyes.

“In the words of my good friend Cass, you’re dick’s so long that Long Dick Johnson is jealous, and he has a pretty fucking long dick. Good enough for you?” Cassandra asked Ethan with a raised eyebrow. Twilight sputtered with laughter while Arcade and Veronica smiled in bemusement, they’d heard it before.

“Wait a second; you have a friend named Cass? Doesn’t that get confusing?” Twilight asked.

“Yeah but we got used to it. The worst is that that bitch Moore has the same first name.” Cassandra answered with a scowl.

“Whatever happened to her anyways?” Ethan asked.

“She got promoted to general and shipped back home to work a desk, I send her greeting cards.” Cassandra replied with a smirk.

“By god I love you.” Ethan told her.

“So you and Twilight are going to be heading up to Olney. What are Arcade, Veronica, and I going to be doing?” Cassandra asked.

“Well, Moria is probably still dying to get a chance to talk geninue members of the west coast Brotherhood, and I’m sure she wouldn’t mind grilling Arcade for useful tips. As for you, who said you couldn’t come?” Ethan asked with a smile.

“Sorry Ethan, but I’m going to have to pass, I don’t feel like walking twenty five miles to see below average deathclaws. Besides, I still need to look for Legion activity in the area” Cassandra replied with a shrug.

“Alright, I’ll meet you back here tomorrow.” Ethan replied with a smile.

***

Shining was standing on a flat length of dilapidated highway waiting patiently for Luna to appear. The Princess of the Night burst into existence with a small puff of darkness and looked Shining over inquisitively.

“Why did you call for me? You appear unharmed except for a slight head injury, did something happen to Twilight Sparkle?” Luna asked, looking at Shining worriedly.

“No, well yes, but she’s fine. Princess, I really need to talk to Cadence. Would it be possible for you to link us?” Shining asked, his voice almost sounded desperate.

“I shall try, remain here.” Luna replied before she vanished.

“Where would I go?” Shining asked shaking his head in annoyance.

After a few moments, Luna appeared again and this time she was accompanied by Cadence. Without thinking, Shining ran to his wife and gave her a passionate kiss that Cadence returned after around half a second of surprise.

“Shining, it’s so good to see you again.” Cadence told him once they broke from the embrace.

“You have no idea how much I’ve missed you.” Shining said pulling her into a hug.

“Is something wrong Shining?” Cadence asked immediately picking up on the worried tone of her husband’s voice.

“Umm, Princess Luna, would you mind leaving for a bit? We’re going to need some privacy.” Shining asked Luna.

“Of course, just don’t have sex; you do not want to know what kind of sex based parasites live out here in dreamland. We’d have to an exorcism, and Tia gets so angry when I have to slaughter cockatrices, or it might be cockatri, meh, hell if I know. Anyway,s it’s not fun and requires a lot more personal space invading then you two want to deal with, so just don’t do it!” Luna told them snippily before disappearing, although Shining thought he heard a chuckle so he couldn’t tell whether she was joking or not.

“Was she serious?” Cadence asked slowly.

“I honestly don’t know, but I wasn’t planning on sex anyways so we don’t have to worry about it.” Shining replied with a shrug, and then a frown crossed his face.

“Alright Shining, spill it. What’s happened?” Cadence asked him, looking straight into his eyes.

“That obvious?” He asked.

“I’m your wife; now tell me what’s wrong.” Cadence commanded.

“Cadence, yesterday I saw my little Twily pull a woman’s leg off of her body and stab her through the eye with it.” Shining said simply.

“What?!” Cadence shouted in surprise.

“The day before that she threatened me and gave me grueling lecture, and now she’s going out to hunt something called a deathclaw.” Shining continued.

“And you’re in here talking to me instead of keeping her safe?” Cadence asked him incredulously, it felt like she’d slapped him.

“But Cadence-” Shining began.

“She’s going after something called a deathclaw Shining, does that sound like something nice and friendly to you?” She asked advancing on him.

“But-”

“Get your butt out of this dream and go keep your sister safe, we can talk later.” She said giving him a kiss on the cheek before disappearing.

“Well, that escalated quickly.” Luna said smugly from behind him, causing Shining to spin to face her.

“You were here the whole time!” Shining shouted.

“Yep.” Luna replied with a shrug.

“Why?” Shining asked in extreme annoyance.

“Because I really didn’t want to have to worry about cleaning cockatrice blood out of the carpets, you have no idea how annoying that process is, and that’s not even going into cleaning up all the feathers.”

“We aren’t that horny.” Shining said indignantly.

“Yeah, and I’m actually a transvestite.”

***

Ethan and Twilight walked down the crumbling highway in the type of comfortable silence that is formed between those who have fought and bled together. Ethan began to whistle as his pipboy played a song about setting the world on fire and Twilight practiced splitting her mind, leaving one to walk, two to scan their surroundings, and three to fiddle with the pipboy attached to her leg. For some reason Twilight felt like she’d neglected the supercomputer attached to her fetlock.

Now that she thought about it she hadn’t been paying much if any attention to it and she felt slightly guilty for not paying more attention to Ethan’s gift. She brought it up to her face and her eyes widened in surprise, it said she was level 25. When did that happen? Then Twilight shrugged and moved onto another menu. She spent another few moments looking over her pipboy before turning to Ethan.

“So what should I be prepared for?” She asked the man walking easily beside her.

“Well, they’re fast and mean as all hell. Just keep your distance and shoot them or slam them into walls with your magic.” Ethan told her.

“Alright, sounds simple enough.” Twilight replied with a shrug. “Hey Ethan I have to go to the bathroom, do you see anywhere good?” She asked suddenly.

“Hmm. There’s a gas station up ahead, that’ll work.” Ethan replied, pointing towards a small building on the horizon.

“Thank Celestia.” Twilight said, taking off towards the building with Ethan’s longer strides easily keeping pace with the unicorn.

They arrived at the gas station and Twilight hurried into the back room while Ethan began to open up the cash registers. Suddenly there was a flash of light from the bathroom and a girly scream of surprise. Seconds later much to Ethan’s bemusement Shining Armor came rocketing through the door in a wave of purple magic.

“Spying on your sister using the bathroom, that’s nasty.” Ethan said, shaking his head with a smirk as Shining shakily got to his hooves.

“Are you okay Shiny?” Twilight asked as she peeked out of the hole that her brother had created in the door.

“Just peachy, thanks.” Shining said clutching his head in pain.

“Sorry Shiny, I’m not used to people appearing out of nowhere after I use the bathroom and I acted without thinking.” Twilight said as she stepped through the door.

“It’s okay Twily, I know you didn’t mean to, but damn that hurt!” Her brother replied.

“Don’t worry, it builds character.” Ethan told him before he headed for the door.

“My hoof up your ass builds character too.” Shiny muttered.

“Yes but it isn’t very comfortable. Along with the fact that it would be all cold and hard, and I have a general rule about things being in my ass.” Ethan told him with a grin.

“And what would that be?” Twilight asked.

“If they have to happen then it’ll be a woman that does it.” Ethan replied with a grin.

“So you and Cassandra have experimented?” Twilight asked with a smirk.

“Yeah, we’ve done it about as many times as you’ve had sex with Celestia.” Ethan replied easily.

“But I haven’t- oh…” Twilight said trailing off with a blush on her face.

“I now have images that I’ll never get out my head.” Shining said despondently.

“Don’t worry Shining, your sister just wants to have hot lesbian sex with your Princess, I bet she’s a screamer.” Ethan told the stallion, who shot Ethan a look that would kill a lesser man. “I can just picture it, their sweaty bodies undulating as Sparky leans in-” Ethan was cut off rather suddenly as Twilight drove her metal leg into his knee, right below the armored plate, causing him to fall to the ground with gasp of pain. “Worth it.”

Day 9 part 2

Day 9 part 2

Cassandra walked the Capital Wasteland completely alone, except for her thoughts which were as methodical as a ticking clock. She knew that the Legion was in the Capital Wasteland, she’d gotten the information out of a centurion whose testicles she’d removed before cutting off his feet and left him to slowly bleed for half an hour. Whatever else they may be, they don’t lie when they’re that close to death, it just wasn’t possible for the human mind. They wouldn’t attack anywhere too heavily fortified, which meant that they’d go for an easy target.

Cassandra had long ago memorized the locations of the settlements scattered around the Capital Wasteland, and she could’ve found them without the supercomputer attached to her wrist, but she decided to use it to be on the safe side. Her first destination was the town of Arefu; she’d been there once or twice before and knew that despite the presence of the Family that the town would present no real challenge to a determined group of Legionaries. She strode up the ramp, unconcerned by the sudden flurry of small red dots that meant that several of the Family’s snipers had her zeroed in and continued without pause.

A chill morning breeze swept over her, causing the flaps of her duster to flutter lightly and shift around her. Vance stood at the top of the ramp, his face impassive. But a small spark could be clearly seen within his eyes as he looked down at Cassandra while she walked towards him. They’d met, fought, gotten drunk, and then killed some raiders while drunk, and then he’d been at her wedding, with a smirk on his face as the thing that he’d predicted that caused the fight in the first place came true.

“Ah Cassandra, it is a pleasure to have you here again.” Vance told Cassandra with a half bow that Cassandra returned in kind.

“Thank you Vance, it seems that the Legion hasn’t been here.” Cassandra replied, looking around the peaceful settlement. Vance stiffened slightly at the mention of the Legion, but kept his face controlled.

“Are they in the area?” He asked.

“Yes, and they’re planning something.” Cassandra replied darkly. Vance’s eyes flashed once, and he bent his head in thought before replying.

“That does not sound very heartening.” He told her slowly, and Cassandra nodded. “Very well then, I will triple our security around the settlement and put measures into place to prevent infiltration.” Vance added, while he scratched his chin in thought.

“Good, I have to check on the other settlements. It was good to see you again Vance.” Cassandra told him before tossing him a blood pack (which Vance caught one-handed) and strolling away down the ramp.

***

“By Celestia’s great golden beard!” Shining exclaimed when he first saw a deathclaw.

“I thought Celestia was a mare.” Ethan said in confusion.

“Don’t ask me where it came from, but that’s an expression.” Twilight replied with a shrug.

“You ponies have the weirdest sayings.” Ethan told her with a chuckle as he watched the deathclaw move about the ruins outside of Olney. “So Sparky, you still want to tango with a deathclaw?” He asked her.

“Tango?” Twilight asked.

“It means fight.” Ethan supplied.

“You humans have the weirdest sayings Ethan.” Twilight told him with a smirk and Ethan rolled his eyes. “You know, it looks like a dragon got really bored and went out to fuck an alligator, and then somehow the alligator actually gave birth to that thing.” Twilight added as her eyes looked the deathclaw over.

“Twily, you can’t seriously be thinking about fighting that thing, it’ll rip you to shreds!” Shining exclaimed, casting a worried glance at the deathclaw, which seemed to have noticed them and was slowly walking closer.

“Meh, I’ve killed worse.” Twilight said with a shrug.

“What could possibly be worse than that? Its claws are as long as my leg!” Shining asked incredulously.

“I threw two five ton supermutants out of a building at the same time.” Twilight replied with another shrug. The deathclaw had begun to charge them, and Ethan had drawn his novasurge and was tracking the beast as it got nearer.

“So Sparky, are you going to kill it or should I?” Ethan asked slightly impatiently as the deathclaw drew closer. Twilight’s horn flared, and suddenly the deathclaw’s right kneecap cracked, and the beast looked down at the leg in confusion as the limb went completely numb before it began to scream in pain. Shining stared at his sister.

“Did you just break its kneecap?” Shining asked in horror as he turned to stare at the deathclaw, that was even now limping determinedly towards them. “And is it still coming towards us?!” He added with wide eyes.

“Tenacious bastards aren’t they?” Ethan asked with a chuckle as the deathclaw continued on its path towards them.

“I didn’t even know I could do that.” Twilight said in slightly disgusted sounding amazement, but also as if she were sick.

“You okay Sparky?” Ethan asked her.

“Not really, no I’m not.” Twilight said, her voice sounding slightly slurred.

“What’s wrong?” Ethan asked.

“I just feel…bad…” Twilight replied with a frown before she suddenly doubled over and puked up her breakfast. Shining Armor, who just barely managed to dodge to the side of the green mess, turned to regard his sister with worry.

“Twily what’s wrong?” He asked.

“Stomach, feel, sleepy…” Twilight answered, before her head suddenly slumped forward and her eyes closed.

“What’s wrong with her?!” Shining asked anxiously as he went over to his sister and pulled her onto his sturdy back.

“Not sure, one second.” Ethan replied, before turning back to the deathclaw, who had been slowly and painfully walking towards them and shooting it twice in the head, reducing it to a pool of green goo. “Sorry, I didn’t want it sneaking up on us.” Ethan told Shining before going over to Twilight’s limp form and grabbing her pipboy in his hand.

“What is that thing anyways?” Shining asked as he looked at the computer.

“It’s a machine that can do a lot of things.” Ethan replied distractedly, while he jumped from menu to menu rapidly. “Shit!” He suddenly exclaimed before reaching into his coat pocket and fumbling around for something.

“What is it?” Shining asked worriedly.

“I’ve gotten so used to listening to my pipboy for radiation that I forgot to explain the concept to Twilight in depth. She’s at around eight hundred rads!” Ethan explained as he finally withdrew a pack of radaway from his pocket. He tore open the tab and shoved it in Twilight’s mouth before tilting her head back and letting the liquid run down her throat. “Be prepared for some, ur, leakage, that stuff goes right through you.” Ethan advised Shining Armor, who frowned but said nothing. Ethan then tore open another radaway, and repeated the process. “That should hold her for a bit, and on the bright side I have a friend who lives up here. He’s kind of crazy, but he’ll definitely provide us with ‘asylum’.”

“Alright, let’s get there fast, she needs a bed.” Shining told Ethan, his dislike of this traveling companion apparently disappearing with the incapacitation of his sister.

They set off at as fast a pace as carrying an unconscious Twilight Sparkle would allow, which wasn’t really very fast until Ethan took over the job and simply slung the unconscious mare over his shoulder and took off at a jog.

“Aren’t you worried about hurting her?” Shining shouted as he caught up to the man.

“It’s all internal; the worst I’m doing is causing slight bruising.” Ethan replied without looking back at the unicorn.

They jogged on in silence until they sighted a chain-link fence on the horizon, and Ethan put on a burst of speed that left Shining gasping for breath. Ethan reached the gate, where he was met by a teenaged girl with brown hair. Her eyes widened in fascination as they took in Twilight and Shining, but before she could say anything Ethan held up his hand to forestall her.

“We need a bed and around five radaway immediately.” He told her, the girl nodded and opened the gate for them.

“Ethan, are these unicorns?” She asked her voice full of awe.

“Yes; and this one is dying of radiation poisoning.” Ethan said grimly.

“Follow me, I think we have an extra bed.” The girl told Ethan, who followed after her.

“Thanks Rachael.” Ethan told her with a smile as she led them to a shack with a red cross painted on it.

Once inside they found a clean stretcher to lay Twilight’s still form on and Ethan busily began to apply packs of radaway, provided by the helpful teenager whose eyes never seemed to lose their interest in Twilight or Shining.

“Hey Rachael, go and tell your father that I’ll see him once she wakes up, oh and take Shining with you.” Ethan instructed, a look of anger crossed Shining’s face.

“What makes you think that I’d leave my sister here with you?” He asked angrily.

“Because you need to meet Dave.” Ethan replied calmly.

“And why would I want to do that?”

“Because if you don’t then you’re considered an illegal alien and my dad President Dave will have you shot because Ethan’s visa only allows for one guest.” Rachael supplied easily with a shrug.

Shining turned to stare at her, and then back to Ethan whose face was unreadable before turning back to Rachael and saying. “Fine let’s get this over with.” Once he was out of the room, Ethan began to sing softly.

Under a silver sky I wander

These broken highways have become my home

Alone in a world rust in ruined state

Through gray civilization’s dust I roam

And my wasteland soul

Never will be truly whole

My only remaining goal now

To survive

Someday the rains will come and wash it all away

The heart of the wasteland will awaken on this day

Shattered remains of once great cities

These silent higways lead to halls of stone

Every horizon sees it closer now

I’ll venture onwards into the unkown

And my callused hands have learned to weather and withstand

The tribulations of this land

In which I stride.

Someday the rains will come and wash it all away

The heart of the wasteland will awaken on this day

Someday the rains will come and wash it all away

The heart of the wasteland will awaken on this day

Tin cans and bottle caps and twisted steel

This worlds seen better days I’m sure

But I’d give every withered wealth I’ve found

For just a glimpse of something pure

but my wasteland soul

Never will be truly whole

My only remaining goal now

To survive

Someday the rains will come and wash it all away

The heart of the wasteland will awaken on this day

Someday the rains will come and wash it all away

The heart of the wasteland will awaken on this day

The heart of the wasteland

The heart of the wasteland

The heart of the wasteland

The heart of the wasteland…

“I didn’t know that you sang.” Twilight said suddenly, jarring Ethan out of his musical trance.

“Oh hey Sparky, I didn’t expect you to be up so soon. You look good for someone who just survived advanced radiation poisoning.” Ethan told her with a grin, as he looked at the unicorn. The color had returned to Twilight’s face and she looked much better overall.

“Thanks, so what was that song you were singing?” Twilight asked him.

“The Wasteland Soul.” Ethan replied with a sad smile.

“It was very pretty, even though you’re completely tone deaf.” Twilight told him with a chuckle.

“Thanks, I think.” Ethan replied with a grin.

“So, did you write that?” Twilight asked.

“Me? Hell no.” Ethan replied with a chuckle.

“Then who did?” Twilight pressed.

“Another man who ventured out into the wastes from a vault and changed the world.” Ethan replied enigmatically with a small grin. They shared a silent moment, that was broken by loud swears coming from Shining Armor that could be easily heard through the walls of the medical hut. “I should probably go see what’s going on, toilet’s over there by the way.” Ethan told Twilight, with a nod towards the toilet in the back of the room.

“Umm thanks?” Twilight replied uncertain as to why she needed the information.

“Oh, and it’s supposed to be bright green.” Ethan added before he left the hut.

“I wonder what he mea-” Twilight began until her lower body rumbled ominously.

***

“Are you fucking kidding me?!” Shining shouted at Dave in anger.

“You are obviously an alien of some kind, so I see no reason not to deport you immediately” Dave told him.

“I’m not an alien, I just come from another goddamned planet!” Shining shouted, smashing a metal clad hoof into the president’s desk making a rather noticeable dent.

“So not only do you admit to being an illegal alien, but you’re also damaging republic property.” Dave said.

“Look, I’ll only be here until my sister gets better, after that I’ll never trouble you again!” Shining told Dave who frowned.

“Hmm, an interesting proposition, but I’m afraid I don’t negotiate with aliens.” Dave said.

“Oh come on, this is ridicules!” Shining shouted in frustration.

“Mister alien, if you do not keep a civil tone with me then I will have you deported effective immediately!” Dave told him primly.

“Listen. My name is Shining Armor; I am the Captain of the Royal Canterlot Guard in command of protecting the life of Princess Celestia! I am a trained soldier and if need be I can and will defend myself!” Shining said with a growl.

“Threatening me will get you nowhere alien scum!” Dave replied with indignantly.

“Gah, this is impossible!” Shining shouted.

“And that’s the kind of undetermined spirit that we here in the republic of Dave look down on.” Dave told him starchily.

“Listen here you pig-headed egomaniacal fuck up, I’m only going to be here until my sister is better, but you will not force me to leave!” Shining replied loudly.

“So you’re attempting to take over my Republic are you? Well that will not be the way that the Republic dies, you will never take our freedom!” Dave shouted as he reached for the hunting rifle slung across his shoulder.

“Hey you two, cut it out!” Ethan yelled as he walked into the room.

“This idiot wouldn’t grant me asylum!” Shining shouted, pointing an armor clad hoof at Dave.

“This alien is threatening the sanctity of my republic!” Dave shouted, pointing an angry finger at Shining.

“I am not! I just want your permission to stay here until my sister is better!” Shining yelled.

“Dave, give the guy a break, the wasteland has been bitch slapping him ever since he got here.” Ethan told Dave, who frowned.

“But Ethan, he’s obviously an alien. If I make an exception for him, then I’ll have to make an exception for those talking deathclaws!” Dave exclaimed.

“They can talk?” Ethan asked in confusion.

“That’s what Rachael says, and my little girl doesn’t lie.” Dave replied crossing his arms over his chest.

“Dear Celestia I’m surrounded by idiots.” Shining moaned.

“He’ll only be here for a few hours while his sister recovers (she’s awake by the way Shining, but I wouldn’t recommend seeing her at the moment) and if any talking deathclaws get ideas I’ll kill them for you okay?” Ethan told Dave.

“Fine, but he’ll still be treated as a public menace.” Dave replied with a scowl at Shining.

“Thank you mister president.” Ethan told Dave respectfully, before he and Shining left the presidential office.

“How can you stand him?” Shining asked once they were out of earshot.

“I can’t, but he’s better than any alternative.” Ethan replied with a shrug.

“So wha-” Shining began, until he was cut off by a loud scream from the medical hut.

“WHY IS IT BRIGHT GREEN?!”

“Should we help her?” Shining asked looking at the hut nervously.

“Na, she’ll be fine. It’s just radioactive urine, nothing to worry about.”

Day 9 part 3

Day 9 part 3

“So how did your day go Cassie?” Ethan asked as they sat around his house, Dogmeat was contentedly panting next to Ethan, his tail wagging back and forth slowly.

“I accomplished absolutely nothing. I checked Arefu, Big Town, and the people we set up in Paradise Falls, but I didn’t find any evidence of Legion activity.” Cassandra replied with a frown.

“Could your source have lied?” Twilight asked.

“People don’t lie when their feet have been cut off.” Cassandra answered simply, causing Twilight’s eye to twitch. It was easy to forget that the woman could be a cold blooded killer when she needed to be. “So how was your day?”

“Well Sparky almost died of radpoisoning, and her brother almost killed Dave out of frustration, but other than that I feel like I wasted the day.” Ethan replied with a shrug.

“I have the same feeling now that you mention it.” Cassandra replied dryly.

***

“Are you sure that this was the best possible move that we could’ve made sir? Not to question your leadership abilities, but this seems a bit drastic.” Burke asked uncertainly as he looked at the moaning bodies of the former members of Tenpenny Tower, who were currently bound up by their arms, spread eagle on crosses.

“Alea iacta est, the die is cast Frumentarii, what happens from now on is in the hands of the fates.” Octavian replied with a grim smile.

“As you wish my lord, is there anything else you require of me?” Burke asked.

“See to the prisoners; make sure that none have escaped while we have been otherwise occupied.” Octavian told Burke, who nodded and left without a word. He wasn’t uncomfortable with the proceedings. After all, he hated most if not all of the people in the tower; however he believed that Legate Octavian was bringing things to a head far too quickly. With a shake of his head Burke continued walking.

He nodded to two legionnaires as he entered the main room of Tenpenny Tower, before making his way to the basement. There he found two more legionnaires watching over the crowd of slaves.

“Have any been disruptive?” Burke asked the legionary on the right.

“No Frumentarii, they appear to be in too deep of despair to cause any sort of trouble.” The legionary replied with a shrug.

“Thank you.” Burke said, before his eyes ran over the prisoners before him. Burke’s eyes narrowed and his eyebrows came together as he surveyed the unlucky lot with growing frustration. There should’ve been twenty; but Burke kept coming up one short…

***

“Something just doesn’t add up.” Veronica told Arcade as the two of them sat together at the bar.

“What do you mean?” Arcade asked with a frown.

“I mean there’s no way that a woman like Dusk described could’ve come into or out of that bar without me noticing.” Veronica said, her frown deepening.

“Why not, are you magically aware of all attractive women now or something?” Arcade asked dryly.

“How many attractive men are there in here?” Veronica asked, suddenly changing subjects.

“Eight, no offense to Gob but I don’t like ghouls.” Arcade answered immediately.

“Do you seem my point?” Veronica asked.

“Now that you mention it, yeah, I do.” He replied after a minute of thinking things over.

“So now we’re left with one question. Who in the hell gave Dusk that bullet?” Veronica said, before taking a gulp of her Nuka Cola.

“You know, I’m just making a guess here and I could be completely wrong, but I think this may be one of those things that we really don’t want to worry about.” Arcade said with a sigh as he tiredly ran his hand through his blonde hair.

“What do you mean?” Veronica asked.

“I mean this seems like one of those things that if we get directly involved in we’re going to end up with nothing to show for it except a headache and a very serious case of frustration.” Arcade replied with a shrug. “In other words, let Ethan and Cassandra deal with it. Trust me, it’ll save us a lot of pain in the long run.” He added.

“This is like the time that you told me not to have sex with Cass isn’t it?” Veronica asked the Ex-Enclave.

“Yep.” Arcade replied.

“We live in one wild wasteland don’t we?”

***

Wadsworth was still awake. Of course he was awake, he was a robot… above him he heard the telltale signs of Ethan and Cassandra connecting on a physical level, that is to say that they were having mind-blowingly good sex.

Wadsworth snorted to himself at the image (a remarkably un-robotic sound to say the least) and continued his musing about taking over the world. Truthfully it was a pastime to keep himself from going insane from boredom, because honestly what would he do when he had succeeded? Despite his upgrades and his added intelligence he was still essentially a butler, and what would a butler do as ruler of the world?

He sometimes supposed that he would at the very least make it a much tidier place. Then of course he would think of all the work that that would require and his brain would tell him that his mechanical life could only be extended for another hundred or so years. When he added that to the fact that humans seemed to destroy everything that they touched without the proper supervision he decided that taking over the world would be an ultimately pointless exercise.

A particularly loud moan was interrupted by a loud banging coming from the door to the house. Wadsworth floated over to it and opened the door with every modicum of butlery grace. He was confronted by a slightly surprising sight. Herbert Daring Dashwood stood next to Lucas Sims with a desperate look in his eyes.

“A lovely evening to you two gentlemen, how may I be of assistance?” Wadsworth asked politely.

“We need to talk to Ethan immediately.” Sims said simply.

“Master Ethan is somewhat preoccupied, but don’t let that stop you.” Wadsworth said gesturing towards Ethan’s door.

Sims and Dashwood nodded and walked up the stairs before pushing the door open. Lucas’s mouth went wide while Dashwood merely began to chuckle good-naturedly. Cassandra was currently on top of Ethan in a very compromising position; she was also holding a very intimidating ranger sequoia in her right hand that was aimed directly at Sims’s heart. Ethan had also drawn his novasurge, which was pointed at Dashwood.

“Did your mothers never teach you to knock?” Cassandra asked with an annoyed frown before she tucked her pistol back into the recesses of the bed sheets.

“Your butler said that you were somewhat preoccupied, I thought he meant with sleeping.” Sims replied, with a slight flush creeping across his dark features.

“Way to go Ethan, I always knew you had it in you to bag a cutie!” Dashwood enthused, his old face grinning widely.

“Dashwood, what’re you doing here?” Ethan asked as Cassandra moved off of him and began to quickly put on her armor. Dashwood’s expression quickly darkened.

“Tenpenny tower’s been taken over by the Legion; they killed a good chunk of the population and are holding the rest of them as slaves down in the basement.” Dashwood said with a deep frown.

“Fuck!” Ethan exclaimed.

“How did you get away?” Cassandra asked as she pulled her duster on over her armor.

“There’s doorway in the basement and I managed to get through it when they were changing guards.” Dashwood replied. “If I was twenty years younger, I could’ve taken those Latin spewing bastards but…” Dashwood added, trailing off sadly with a defeated shrug of his shoulders.

“Don’t worry, we’ll kill them all. You have my word Mr. Dashwood.” Cassandra said, walking over to him and giving the old man a comforting pat on the shoulders before she went downstairs to collect a few weapons.

“You’ve got yourself quite a girl there son.” Dashwood said, giving Ethan a wink.

“Thanks.” Ethan replied as he stood up naked.

Twilight picked that exact moment to walk up the stairs with the intention of talking to Ethan about ways to help her brother. She was hit by a sudden wave of shock as she looked at Ethan’s (let’s call it a member, less negative context that way…)

“You okay Sparky?” Ethan asked with a grin as he began to pull on a pair of boxers.

“I’m trying to figure out how you avoid falling forward when you walk.” Twilight told him once she’d recovered her speaking facilities.

“Yeah, I guess you could say that I’m hung like a horse!” Ethan told her with a grin. Twilight’s organic eye twitched before she facehoofed.

“Just put some damn clothes on!” Sims nearly shouted. This wasn’t the first time that he’d seen Ethan naked. In fact, he still had a rather disturbing memory of Ethan running through town completely naked, being chased by several equally naked mercenary women. But that didn’t mean that the sheriff enjoyed the sight either.

“What, and deny the world a view of perfection?” Ethan asked with a joking grin as he pulled on his armored pants.

“Ethan, hurry up, we need to plan.” Cassandra told him, rolling her eyes as she came back into the room.

“Alright, let’s do this.”

***

“Auntie, may I come in?” Cadence asked from the other side of the door to Celestia’s room, causing Celestia to look up from her from her latest book, The Immortal Game. It was an interesting take on the alicorn origin story and Celestia had to say that the author certainly knew how to write a good action scene.

“Of course Cadence, come right in.” Celestia replied with a tiny smile. The pink alicorn came into the room looking slightly nervous and very worried. “Is everything alright dear? You look a little off.” Celestia asked.

“I’m fine personally, but I’m very worried about Shining and Twilight.” Cadence replied.

“Oh yes, Luna told me that you saw him today, something about a bootie call.” Celestia said with a smirk.

“It was nothing of the sort, and I wish Auntie Luna would stop making those types of insinuations.” Cadence said with a very put out look on her face, and Celestia had to stop herself from unleashing a very undignified fit of giggles at it.

“She can’t help it dear; she’s the goddess of sex.” Celestia told her niece with a shrug

“No she isn’t, she’s the goddess of the night, that doesn’t automatically mean sex!” Cadence shot back.

“Dear, she’s immortal. She can be the goddess of bats if she wants to be and no mortal could stop her; not that I think that that would be a good thing for her image. Then again she did look amazing in that Batmare costume last year at Nightmare Night, so it might be a good look for her.” Celestia told her with a shrug.

“Auntie, that’s not at all what I wanted to talk about.” Cadence told Celestia with an annoyed glance.

“Sorry dear, when you’re as old as I am you become easily distracted.” Celestia said with a grin, which caused Cadence to sigh tiredly.

“Anyways, Shining looks really, really bad, almost as bad as he looked after the wedding.” Cadence told her aunt, forging on and ignoring her Celestia’s attempts to change the subject.

“What do you mean?” Celestia asked, her ears perking up with interest; she cared very deeply about Shining Armor even if he did occasionally annoy her.

“I mean that he looked like he was on the verge of a violent mental breakdown.” Cadence replied flatly.

“How so?” Celestia asked.

“His eyes were tired and bloodshot, his fur was messy, and his mane had old dried blood in it. Auntie, he’s always been very clean, the first thing he does after he fights a battle is take a long shower, but right now he’s covered in dirt, grime, and old gore!” Cadence exclaimed.

“That doesn’t sound good.” Celestia murmured to herself.

“And the worst thing is that I essentially told him that instead of whining to me he should be looking after Twilight!” Cadence added, before bursting into tears and hugging herself to her aunt’s larger frame. “I don’t know what I was thinking saying that, I’m a horrible wife!” Cadence added.

“Never say that Cadence, you’re the best wife that a stallion could ever ask for.” Celestia said as she wrapped her wings around the smaller alicorn. “Shining will be fine, he’s a soldier and he’ll soldier through this like anything else.”

“That’s just it Auntie, ever since the wedding he’s changed. He doesn’t act the same way he used to, it’s like he’s afraid that I’ll shatter if he’s not careful enough with me.” Cadence said her tone growing desperate.

“Is there a particular time that he acts like this or is an all the time thing?” Celestia asked.

“Well, umm…” Cadence said shakily without really saying anything.

“Dear I’ve lived forty thousand years and some change, there’s nothing that you can say that I either haven’t experienced or heard of before.” Celestia told Cadence.

“I had no idea you were so old, you look very good for your age.” Cadence replied.

“Thank you dear, now tell me and stop changing the subject.” Celestia said forcefully.

“It’s during sex.” Cadence said softly, with a deep red blush.

“I see; what does he do during sex?” Celestia asked.

“Well, he gave up being on top.” Cadence said a little nervously.

“Well that doesn’t sound too bad dear; it just means that he wants you to do more of the work.” Celestia said with a chuckle.

“Dammit auntie take this seriously!” Cadence shouted before she blushed in embarrassment. “Sorry auntie, I’m a little hormonal right now.” Cadence said softly.

“Oh I know the feeling, don’t worry about it dear.” Celestia replied with a shrug.

“It’s just unlike him is all, I think something happened.” Cadence said quietly.

“We’ll all talk it over when he and Twilight get back, until then try and stay positive.” Celestia replied.

“Alright auntie; thanks for listening.” Cadence said with a slight smile before she left the room.

Celestia once again buried herself in her book.

“Heh waffles.” She said with a laugh. Outside a storm was blowing in, but the celestial monarch never looked up from her book as lightning flashed outside her window, after all it was only a storm…

Twilight Sparkle perk gained
Unknown mutation- what will it do? Even the gods don’t know yet

The end part 1

The end part 1

“There’s the famous Legion subtly for you.” Arcade said dryly as they surveyed Tenpenny tower from the hill. The early morning sunrise was painting the land around them in typical wasteland brown, but the walls around Tenpenny glinted crimson. Lined up in a near line around the top of the wall were at least eighty five people nailed to crosses through their arms and thighs, they were rather large nails…

Shining and Twilight had both paled, the blood rushing away from their faces and somehow making their fur less vibrant. During her time in the wasteland Twilight had thought she’d seen every imaginable horror and faced it down, but this, this was a whole new kind of horror. Her knees buckled and she lost her breakfast on the ground in front of her. Shining immediately went to comfort her, and he wrapped his little sister in a tight brotherly embrace while he turned her head away from the agonized forms upon the wall.

“Who could do this?” Twilight asked softly.

“Monsters; and I kill monsters.” Cassandra answered just as softly but her voice was so full of venom and malice that she might as well have been shouting.

“And you say Burke is behind this?” Ethan asked Dashwood, who was lying on his stomach with the rest of them.

“Yes, the bastard opened up the gate with an override switch of some kind. The guards put up a hell of a fight, but those Legion boys are tough as nails.” Dashwood replied with a scowl. “They also had this really big guy in a different kind of armor, they all seemed really afraid of him.” He added.

“A legate.” Cassandra said darkly, she’d had experience with legates before. In the Legion you only got to the rank of legate by being brutal, effective, and hard as hell to kill.

“Damn. I always knew that Burke was a snake, but I never thought that he’d have it in him to be a member of the Legion.” Ethan said, his face dark and broody.

“He was going to blow up a town.” Cassandra retorted.

“Yes, but that doesn’t mean that he’d torture people to death. I’m going to put a bullet through his head.” Ethan said, his voice was deadlier then Twilight had ever heard before, even more so than when he’d talked about killing Supertramp.

“So how are you youngsters planning on doing this?” Dashwood asked.

“Simply.” Ethan said with a bloodthirsty grin.

“Move forward under the cover of Shining and Twilight’s magical shields. Blow our way through the gate. Kill every one of the small fry legionaries who try and stop us. Then we find Burke and this legate and eviscerate them.” Cassandra elaborated.

“I’m in.” Twilight said swiftly, she’d taken the few minutes to pull herself together again and now her eyes were filled with hatred. She’d never known these people, but no one deserved this kind of punishment.

***

Mister Burke was looking at the Wasteland from the balcony of his suite, looking over the horizon when suddenly he noticed something. There was a light, almost pink light coming from one of the hills near the tower. Thinking quickly he grabbed his old silenced sniper rifle from where it was lying on the old red chair that Tenpenny had always sat in before his recent burning and brought it up to his eye. His eyes widened as he took in the group heading straight for the tower. His eyes widened even farther when he saw Ethan at the head of the group, standing next to a tall redheaded woman who matched the description of Cassandra Smith Queen of New Vegas.

Ethan looked up as the light of the scope caught him in the eye. To Burks’s horror, the man shot him a smirk and winked before he pointed his forefinger straight at Burke and mimed as is it was a pistol. A wave of force suddenly hit Burke in the chest and threw him off his feet into the wall behind him.

***

“Nice shot Sparky; now let’s kick some ass!” Ethan shouted loud enough to alert every legion soldier at the front gate who had yet to notice the group. Predictably, the Legion opened up with a mix of trail carbines and cowboy repeaters. The outer shield provided by Twilight deflected most of the shots, but several broke through, only to be stopped dead in their tracks by Shining’s. When they were fifteen feet in front of the gate, Ethan turned to Cassandra and almost conversationally asked. “Would you be a dear and blow up their gate?”

“I think it’s time we introduce the Legion to Mercy, apparently it’s an unknown concept to them.” Cassandra said with a chuckle as she reached into her pack and began to quickly assemble the second most frightening weapon that Twilight had ever seen in the wasteland. It was a large cylindrical object with another cylinder jutting out of it. The entire thing was covered in century old rust, but it still made Twilight uncomfortable to be around.

With a roar like thunder Cassandra pulled down the trigger and a stream of 40mm grenades shot out the grenade machinegun straight towards the gate, blasting them off of its rails. Eight legionaries who were standing directly behind the gate were instantly reduced to bloody chunks by both the door and the force of the explosions. They entered the courtyard and were greeted by the astonished stares of several dozen legionaries.

It wasn’t every day that two incredibly frightening looking people in leather dusters, flanked by a man in old Enclave and T51B powerarmor, along with two bloodthirsty unicorns breaks down your door with a grenade machinegun. All things considered they took it rather well. With a wild shout one of the centurions in the yard charged, swinging a thermic lance straight at Cassandra.

“I’m going to kill all of you, and you just volunteered to be first.” Cassandra said coldly before she sidestepped the lance’s tip.

With a swift and precise motion Cassandra yanked the lance out of the centurion’s grasp before shoving the tip straight through his neck. As blood from the wound spurted wildly, Cassandra closed the distance to the centurion, a ballistic fist appearing on her hand as she smashed it into the centurion’s chest, sending him flying into the doors of the tower.

“Who’s next?” She asked the Legion members who looked at each other for a second before they charged as one.

Ethan surged forward, his shock sword in one hand and his 12.7mm submachine gun in the other. The first legionary was filled with more than enough bullets to kill him before Ethan sliced his head off and moved onto the next target and repeated the process with similar bloody results. In simpler words, Twilight realized that Ethan fought wildly, almost like an animal. He was unrefined and wasteful, but at the same time he was frightening to behold.

He met a charging vexillarius head on while absorbing a sniper rifle shot through the chest. His submachine gun rounds tore through the vexillarius’s head before he had a chance to switch to a melee weapon. A group of legionaries decided to swarm him, but Ethan cut right through them; he was a wild hurricane of death and destruction that killed dozens in bloody explosions as he went.

Cassandra, on the other hand, had opted to equip her hunting shotgun (the Diner Bell) and was coolly and methodically blowing legion head after legion head off of their body with an incredibly detached manner. When one legion member managed to get through her waves of lead, Cassandra simply smashed his face in with the camouflaged butt of her rifle without missing a beat. A group of legion members charged her at once.

Cassandra pulled out her sequoia and shot a hole through the first one’s head, the second received a blow blast of buckshot to the chest, which tore him to bloody ribbons. The third opened up with his repeater, but the bullets bounced off of Cassandra’s duster, and she calmly shot him through the nose, blowing out the back of his head.

Twilight had engaged the enemy as well, splitting her mind into three separate pieces, each of which was directing a different part of her performance in battle. She shot out a dozen magical tentacles which wrapped themselves around legion members and sent jolts of electricity through their body. At the same time her body was surrounded by two dozen purple mini shields.

Each shield worked individually of the others to block each and every projectile that was sent her way, and redirect it at the surrounding legionaries.

A centurion charged her a super sledge held in his grasp, but one of her magical tentacles met him half way. It picked him up in its electrifying grasp, and threw him into a group of Legion recruits, all of whom suddenly fell to their knees as they lost all control of their bodies and the electricity flowed through their systems, contorting their bones and destroying cooking their flesh.

“God, I hate being so outclassed.” Veronica told Arcade who was standing at her back, and Shining who was next to Arcade as she smashed a legion’s chest to mush.

“Honestly, I’ve gotten used to it.” Arcade replied with a shrug as the plasma rifle went off in his arms, reducing a legionary to glowing green goo.

“What the hell happened to my sister?!” Shining shouted as Twilight came running by, a legionary held aloft while her horn glowed bright purple.

“Wasteland Shiny.” Twilight replied over her shoulder before she sent the legionary in her grasp rocketing towards a cluster of legionnaires who were advancing on Ethan from behind. The group practically exploded in a fine mist of blood.

“Why did they just explode?” Shining asked Twilight, who had decided to take a break and lean against her brother for support, while he covered them with a thin protective shield.

“I honestly have no idea, it just happens.” Twilight replied with a shrug, and then she winced.

“Something wrong Twily?” Shining asked worriedly as he sliced a legionary’s head off with his enchanted blade.

“It’s nothing, my minds are just arguing about how long we have until we fall unconscious from the strain of all the magic. The best guestimate is an hour.” Twilight answered.

“You split your mind?!” Shining asked in surprise. “That spell is incredibly dangerous and difficult, not to mention impossible to almost anypony besides the Princesses!” Shining almost shouted.

“Yeah, but I’m Twilight Sparkle.” Twilight replied with a smirk, as a streak of blood shot into her face out of nowhere. “And now I’m covered in blood, simply amazing…” she said, rolling her eyes before she shot a pillar of fire at a nearby legion member, who fell to the ground in pain as his armor melted to his skin.

Ethan sprinted towards a veteran legionary, who raised a 12.7 mm submachine gun at his chest, and Ethan felt the impacts as the large bullets impacted against his chest plate. The feeling passed quickly as Ethan closed the distance and drove his sword into the legionary’s right eye. He pivoted and sliced through another legionary’s chest with a sideways swing that cleanly bisected him.

Cassandra made her way to her husband, all the while placing perfectly accurate shots from her marksmen’s carbine (the All American) as she went. When she reached him they exchanged a glance and a smile of understanding before they moved so that they were standing back to back.

“Just like old times.” Ethan said with a chuckle as the 12.7 submachine gun went off in his hands (he’d sheathed his sword for the moment).

“Ethan, we’re not old enough to become nostalgic.” Cassandra told him as she blasted a legionary’s head into oblivion.

“Weren’t you the one talking about it being time to have children earlier?” Ethan shot back with a chuckle before he blew away a charging centurion with a hail of lead.

“That’s different, we can reminisce about the old days when we’re brains floating in jars.” Cassandra replied as another member of the legion fell before her expert marksmanship, now missing the top half of his torso.

“Is that what we’re doing?” Ethan asked while drawing his novasurge and reducing several of the legionaries shooting at them from a distance into gelatinous puddles of glowing green goop.

“Oh right, I forgot to tell you. The way I see it we can get the Tanks to do it, I mean they’ve already done it to me once… Anyways I just don’t see Vegas surviving the way it is without me there to guide it, and there’s no way in hell I’m going with the House option.” Cassandra replied, before she switched over to her anti-material rifle and shot a sniper through the scope of his rifle.

“That shot was literally impossible.” Arcade shouted from where he, Veronica, and Shining were clustered together.

“Yeah, and that makes how many?” Cassandra shouted back, causing Ethan to chuckle before he sent a legionary reeling with a punch to the stomach followed by a plasma bolt to the head.

“So how long till we take on the bigger fish?” Ethan asked her.

“I was thinking that we’d thin their numbers out a little more before we got down to business.” Cassandra replied with a shrug as her shotgun spouted a fifty foot blast of flame, which promptly ate several legionaries, leaving nothing behind but ash.

Twilight Sparkle was beginning to feel the strain of casting so many spells, so instead she switched to using her tri-beam laser rifle. A legionary charged her and Twilight’s rifle spat three beams of ruby colored light that struck the legionary in the chest, gouging out three gaping holes. Another legionary sent out a spray of bullets at Twilight, but she blocked them with a simple shield spell that sent the bullets spiraling back towards the shooter, where they buried themselves in his neck.

“Alright let’s go, I want to end this.” Cassandra said (she somehow managed to speak loud enough for everyone in the courtyard to hear her without having to resort to yelling.). The legionaries grew desperate and charged her, but she cut them down with several blasts of fire from her shotgun while Ethan supported her with the occasional shot from his novasurge.

Four centurions charged them, but Twilight intervened. Her horn lit up and she tossed a small green sphere to the side, making sure that it traveled through each centurion’s gaze. To the surprise of Cassandra, Arcade, Veronica, and Shining, the four centurions (along with almost every other legionary in the courtyard) took off in pursuit of the orb.

“Wait for it.” Twilight said with a smirk. Suddenly, the magic infused plasma grenade exploded in a giant sphere of swirling green and purple light that turned the legionary members into motes of dust and goo. “Well, that spell seems to have paid off well.” Twilight added with a chuckle.

“Twily, did you weaponize the want it need it spell?” Shining asked in surprise.

“Yep.” Twilight replied with a grin.

“Okay, that’s it. The first thing I’m doing when we get home is having sex with Cadence, and the second thing is I’m going to therapy, because now I’m officially crazy!” Shining exclaimed.

“Oh this is nothing; try having your brain and spine removed while your mind is still inside your body, that’s when you should start to consider therapy.” Cassandra told him with a tiny smirk. “Okay now, let’s get inside and kill the legate and Burke so that we can go home.”

Cassandra made them all step a few feet back before she took a missile launcher off of her back and pointed it at the door.

***

“My lord, we must leave at once!” Burke told Octavian who scowled at him.

“Your plan to kill the Wanderer seems to have failed Frumentarii, I did warn you of the consequences.” Octavian told Burke while he placed a restraining hand on the other man’s shoulder.

“My lord, another chance. That’s all I need!” Burke protested while he desperately tried to remove the much larger man’s hand.

“Face your death with some honor Frumentarii; after I’m done with the woman I’ll make sure to finish your job too. Then the Legion will reign supreme over this place, now that the Brotherhood’s numbers have been depleted by your supermutant allies. At least you were able to do that right.” Octavian said with a chuckle as he led Burke towards the elevator.

“They failed to do as much damage as I would’ve liked.” Burke said quietly with a frown.

“Then the slaughter shall be more enjoyable.”

***

“Do you really think this was necessary?” Twilight asked as the six of them stood together in the main lobby.

“Not really, but it looks cool.” Ethan replied conversationally. Ethan had gotten bored waiting for Burke and the legate to come down to the bottom floor so he had artfully arranged several legion corpses so that it looked like they were crawling hopelessly towards the door.

“It’s a bit disturbing…” Arcade said with a raised eyebrow.

“That’s the point.” Ethan replied with a chuckle.

“I gathered.” Arcade said dryly. The ding of the elevator door opening interrupted their banter.

Burke was forcibly kicked out of the elevator and was sent sprawling across the bloody ground, ruining his suit. The man following behind him who had delivered the kick was wearing full legate armor and had dark brown eyes. The man also possessed a rather imposing super sledge that appeared to be around twice as big as any that Ethan had ever seen.

“Salve, I am Legate Octavian. Dispose of this trash for me and then I shall fight Cassandra.” The legate said simply with a gesture towards Burke who had regained his feet.

“You know I could just kill you both in a few seconds and save time.” Ethan said conversationally.

“You would not; your honor would not allow it.” Octavian replied with a shrug.

“Says who? For all you know I could be planning to shoot both of you evil assholes the second that we’re done talking.” Ethan said with a smirk.

“Yes, but that would be highly anticlimactic, and I know how much your type enjoy their theatrics.” The Legate said.

“Fine. Burke, I hate you and I’m sorry that I didn’t do this a long time ago.” Ethan said, pulling out his novasurge and pointing it at Burke’s head.

“Wait, can’t we talk exchange pleasantries first?” Burke asked desperately.

“Okay, you get sixty seconds. Start talking.” Ethan said with a sigh.

“Everything that you stand for is a lie, your precious wasteland is nothing but a flawed and backwards ins-” Burke cut himself off mid-sentence as his hand pulled a silenced 12.7 mm pistol and shot Ethan almost point blank in the head. Or at least, that’s what he tried to do. Twilight caught the bullet half a second after it had left the barrel of the gun and brought it to hover in front of Burke’s eyes, which widened.

“Thanks Sparky; that would’ve been inconvenient, brain doesn’t grow back quite right.” Ethan told Twilight with a grin. “Alright, now it’s my turn.” Ethan began with a grin. “Mister Burke, as compensation for the people of Megaton, along with the people who you killed and tortured here in Tenpenny Tower (along with anything else that I’m not privy to) I sentence you to death.” Ethan told the man while pointing the barrel at the man’s head. They were only separated by a matter of feet and Ethan knew he couldn’t miss. Even so he entered VATS. His pistol shot twice, the first shot blowing apart the snakelike man’s head, and the second reducing his body to a puddle of goo.

“A fitting end for such a man, now let us commence the final melee Courier.” Octavian said drawing his massive super sledge

“Fuck that.” Cassandra said simply, before she shot a blast of dragon’s breath straight at the large man. Legate Octavian stood in the exact same place, apparently untouched by the flames, although his hair did seem to be slightly singed.

“So you would prefer to fight me with the aid of your technology. Very well, it will make this more enjoyable.” Octavian replied before cracking his neck.

“Do you need help dear?” Ethan asked but Cassandra shook her head.

“No, I’d just forgotten how hard legates are to kill.” She replied as she shot another stream of dragon’s breath at the legate as he charged her. The gout of fire had a similar effect as it had had before, doing absolutely nothing. “Well fuck.” Cassandra said with a sigh as she rolled out of the way of the Legate’s swing.

What she hadn’t expected was that the Legate would anticipate this move and compensate for it by smashing his fist downward where she was going to roll. Cassandra was sent tumbling to the side and groaned slightly as she rolled back to her feet, mumbling something about giant hammers. The Legate barely gave her time to rise to her feet again before he was on top of her again, swinging his sledge left and right forcing the Courier onto the defensive.

Suddenly Ethan shouted. “STOP, hammertime!” Cassandra and Octavian turned to regard Ethan quizzically.

“Was that really necessary?” Cassandra asked.

“I thought so.” Ethan told her with a smirk.

“Ethan, when we get home I’m going to have a long conversation with you about destroying dramatic tension with stupid remarks from before the war.” Cassandra told him with a scowl before turning back to Octavian. “Now, where were we?”

Octavian shrugged and sent his hammer whistling toward Cassandra’s head. To his surprise she caught it by the shaft. Cassandra’s ballistic fist had somehow appeared on her hand, and its shotgun barrels where now pointed directly at the Legate’s face.

“Nighty night.” Cassandra said with a grim smile.

The Legate’s newly headless body fell to the ground with a thud. Cassandra quickly looted his corpse of any and all valuables, including his armor and massive Super sledge, which she handed to Arcade to carry. The Ex-Enclave rolled his eyes but accepted the burden without comment; he had the strongest powerarmor and thus had to carry the heaviest loot.

“Now let’s let the people in the basement free and get the hell out of this place, I’m hungry!” Cassandra exclaimed with a grin before she strode over to the basement door and punched it open. “You’re all free; and you owe us twenty-five thousand caps.”

“Isn’t that kind of extreme?” Veronica asked as they strode out of the tower.

“Na, they had to pay ten thousand each in order to get a room in that place, I’m sure twenty-five thousand is pocket change to these people.” Ethan replied with a shrug.

“Finally, all this other crap is done and you can work out a way to get me home.” Twilight said with a sigh of relief.

“And here I thought you enjoyed my company.” Ethan told her, sounding rather miffed.

“Yeah, but I still want to have sweaty lesbian sex with Celestia before I die and being here is kind of preventing that from happening.” Twilight replied.

“Fair enough.” Ethan told her. Shining groaned and looked around desperately for something to smash his head against to relive the images of two of the mares that he respected (and loved) the most bumping uglies.

***

Luna’s eyes suddenly widened, whatever had been blocking the realm where Shining Armor and Twilight from her was suddenly down. She would’ve traveled there immediately, but she had pressing matters to attend to (specifically what to do about the thing pressing into her from behind). So instead she simply grabbed a piece of paper from a nearby desk and wrote a few words before magically sending it to Shining.

***

They were all sitting in Ethan’s living room when a scroll suddenly out of a portal made from inky blackness. It fell onto Shining’s head before he caught it in his magic.

“Dear Shining Armor. Whatever was keeping you there is now allowing you and Twilight Sparkle to pass back. I suggest doing so rapidly before whatever god is in control of this realm changes its mind.” Shining read aloud to the rest.

“Wait, so we don’t have to do anything else?” Ethan asked, looking slightly disappointed.

“Apparently not.” Cassandra replied with a chuckle.

“YES!” Twilight exclaimed with a happy shout, her horn started to glow as she began to cast the spell that had brought her to the wasteland in the first place.

“Hold on Sparky, I can’t let you leave without a goody-bag, it’s what a host should do.” Ethan told her with a grin.

“Alright, but please do it fast!” Twilight told him excitedly. Ethan went upstairs and got one of the large adventure’s satchels that Cassandra had given him and began to fill it up with random things from around the house.

“Here you go Sparky, it’s got a picture of me and Cassie to help you remember us, every one of the weapons that you’ve used while you’ve been here plus a few hundred shots for each, twelve deathclaw eggs that won’t hatch anytime soon, a recipe for baking them, twenty five Nuka Colas, and fifty stimpacks.” Ethan told her as he offered Twilight the bag. “Good luck getting home, and please write Sparky.” Ethan added as he whipped a small tear away from his eye.

“Thanks Ethan, try and stay alive for me, alright?” Twilight told him before she leapt forward and he wrapped her in a fierce hug.

“Of course Sparky, I’m hard to kill, remember?” Ethan said with a chuckle.

“Just remember not to throw grenades uphill.” She added.

“Or else the Wasteland will bitchslap you.” Ethan finished with a grin before he set her down.

“Alright Shiny, let’s go home.” Twilight said with a grin. They both vanished in a flash of green light.

***

Much to her surprise, when she regained the ability to see Twilight found herself sitting in a chair outside a plain looking office door. Upon the door were the words ‘War, war never changes’ and underneath that in much small script it said ‘unless you change the people’.

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.” She sighed. A woman’s laughter echoed from behind the doorway.

“You might as well come in, this shouldn’t take too long.” The voice behind the doorway said. The voice reminded Twilight slightly of Cassandra’s, but much older. With a sigh, Twilight pushed open the door and her mouth fell open in surprise. Sitting behind a perfectly ordinary looking desk in a nice leather swivel chair was the blonde woman who had set up the hit on Twilight nine days ago. “Sorry about the décor, but they were out of magical cloud pedestals.”

The End part 2

Edited by the amazingly awesome TacoTown who somehow puts up with my shit and helps me hammer my misshapen thoughts into a congruent plot and corrects my absolutely terrible grammar

The end part 2

“Why don’t you sit down?” The beautiful but incredibly dangerous looking blonde asked Twilight with a small smile.

Seeing no other option, Twilight complied. The office was plain, and for the most part undecorated, besides the desk, two leather swivel chairs. A bookshelf along the back wall and was covered with dusty tomes. What caught Twilight’s attention however, were the pictures on the desk. One was an exact replica of the one that Ethan had given Twilight of he and Cassandra standing together in front of a tall, light covered tower. The other two pictures were of a man in hulking black powerarmor, holding something that looked like a gauss rifle fused with a minigun. The other was a short, shady looking man with a large revolver.

“So where the am I and who are you?” Twilight asked.

“You’re in my office. As for me, I’m W.” The woman replied with an enigmatic smile.

“Would you just drop the act and tell me what’s going on? You’re keeping me away from the mare I love, and I’ve recently become very deadly. So I’d advise that you don’t hold me here much longer.” Twilight growled. To her surprise, the woman threw her head back and began to laugh. “Did I say something funny?” Twilight asked.

“If there’s one thing I love about the wasteland (which there isn’t much) it’s its ability to turn a scholar into a warrior in ten days flat. Heh, I should put that on my card.” The woman replied with another chuckle.

“WHO ARE YOU?!” Twilight shouted, her horn glowing with arcane magic. The woman snapped her fingers and Twilight’s horn stopped glowing. “How…how did you do that?” Twilight asked in surprise.

“This is my home (well it’s my office but that’s beside the point). I make the rules here, or at the very least I keep things moving through the bureaucracy.” The woman said with a chuckle as she moved a lock of blonde hair away from her eyes.

“That still doesn’t answer my question.” Twilight said through gritted teeth.

“Fine. I’m a cross between what you would call a genius loci and a being like your Princess Celestia.” The woman elaborated, rolling her eyes with a smirk.

“That doesn’t make any sense, genius loci aren’t supposed to be truly sentient, or at least not to the extent that you seem to be.” Twilight said with a frown.

“I said I was a cross between one, not a full one.” The woman said with a small smile.

“But that’s not possible!” Twilight said in exasperation.

“My little pony, are you arguing with a god?” The woman asked, and her ancient eyes sparkled with amusement.

“Apparently not, if what you’re saying is true.” Twilight shot back and the woman threw her head back in laughter again.

“Gods, I fell right into that one. Very nice.” She said once she’d stopped laughing, as a slow grin spread across her face.

“Thank you. I take every chance I get to pull one over on beings massively more powerful than I am.” Twilight replied with a smile beginning to creep over her face.

“Alright, now that the formalities are over we can get onto the real reason that I brought you here.” The woman said before cracking her knuckles.

“Umm, actually, can you further explain what you are, not to be rude (well ruder at this point) but I’m kind of interested now.” Twilight asked imploringly.

“Alrighty then; oh and I sent a note through when your brother got home that’ll tell your friends not to worry.” The woman told Twilight, who nodded gratefully.

“Thanks; I don’t want them worrying about me anymore after this whole experience, most of which I’m guessing was your fault.” Twilight replied with an eyebrow arched archly.

“Guilty as charged. So, you want a better description of what I am, right?”

“Yes. Oh, and can you give me a real name?” Twilight replied.

“Don’t you hate it when people answer your questions with a question?”

“I know right, isn’t it the most annoying thing in the world?” Twilight replied with a smirk.

“Oh definitely, and have you noticed that those people don’t seem to realize that they’re doing it?”

“Have we dragged this out long enough?” Twilight asked with a smirk.

“I don’t know, what do you think?”

“I think you’re stalling.” Twilight said flatly, ending their banter.

“My name is W, but you can call me Wasteland, or Wastey, or Wanda.” W replied with a grin.

“Wanda?” Twilight asked.

“Long story. Word to the wise kid, don’t take bets that you aren’t one hundred percent sure that you’ll win.” W told her.

“I’ll keep that in mind, Wanda. Now, onto what you are exactly.” Twilight said with a smirk.

“To put it simply, I reflect the Wasteland. To put it another way, I reflect a large portion of the continental United States. I change to reflect the people that live inside my area, and I’m not allowed to interact directly with anyone. Oh, and I can place agents who are unaware of what they are.” W explained.

“But you put a hit on me, how is that not direct?!” Twilight exclaimed.

“Ah, well you see, you’re a different case. You’re from another dimension, thus you’re outside of my standard rules. It’s the main reason that I brought you to the Wasteland in the first place.” W answered.

“So why did you bring me here instead of some bad ass soldier from another dimension?” Twilight asked.

“Because Master Chief is frozen and Shepard was busy at the time.” W answered with shrug.

“Who are they?” Twilight asked in confusion.

“I was joking. I brought you here, Twilight Sparkle, because you were the only one in the multiverse who could do the job the right way. Without you Ethan would’ve died, the Capital Wasteland would’ve devolved into a Legion pissing ground, and Cassandra maddened by grief would’ve become a heartless dictator.” W told Twilight with a sad shake of her head.

“But why me?” Twilight asked still confused.

“Twilight Sparkle, you have done great things, greater then you know honestly. The gods have come to expect great things of you, and you have yet to disappoint. Well, there was that one time, but that wasn’t your story anyways and without you Littlepip’s world wouldn’t be complete, so meh.” W answered with a shrug.

“Do I even want to know?” Twilight asked.

“Nope.” W answered with a grin. “Now onto business, I brought you into an extremely hostile environment without your consent or the approval of your realm’s gods. For that I owe you a reward, and the way I see the only reward that I could offer you is a way to stay with Celestia for eternity.” W continued.

“How?” Twilight asked her ears perking up with interest (not that she hadn’t been interested before, but the idea of spending eternity with Celestia made her even more interested.)

“I’ll turn you into a ghoul.” W replied with a grin. Twilight’s mouth fell open and her eyes widened in fear. “I’m joking.”

“That wasn’t funny!” Twilight protested.

“Well I thought it was.” W said with a chuckle while Twilight glared. “Oh alright I’ll tell you the real options. Firstly you can become an ali-”

“Please not that.” Twilight said urgently.

“Why not?” W asked puzzledly.

“Because I don’t want to be an alicorn, do you know how bad of an idea that is?” Twilight replied.

“What do you mean?” W asked mystified.

“Alright I’ll explain this. There are already two main alicorns, Celestia and Luna. They both control a part of the sky. Given my name I’m assuming that I would be given the stars. Now let’s assume that I take the stars. That erases a good chunk of Luna’s power which I’m sure she wouldn’t be happy about, and the absolute last thing I need is Princess Luna upset with me. Okay, let’s say that for some reason my stealing the stars from her doesn’t make Luna furious, but if I did become an immortal alicorn then I’d become a princess. Do you think that someone like me could effectively live the life of a princess? I have enough trouble staying out of politics as it is, and I can’t think of a worse way to become involved in it. Oh, and my final reason is that that only happens in stories, hell it’s been done a million times and it’ll be done a million times more because there are always ponies out there that aspire to be one. If I suddenly grew a few feet and added a pair of wings it would probably result in a few hundred deaths as ponies desperately tried to join the ranks of the divine. So how about you offer me an alternative, okay Wanda?” Twilight asked. W threw back her head in laughter again, and continued for a good minute.

“That was a very informative lecture Twilight; I wonder if you know how true it is…” W told her with a smirk.

“True enough, now give me my other alternatives.”

“We covered ghoulification already. You said no to becoming an alicorn. I’ve got one left.” W told her.

“Alright, lay it on me.” Twilight said with a grin.

“I can bind your life force to hers.” W said.

“Explain.” Twilight replied.

“As long as she is young and youthful you will be too. If she dies, so will you. The opposite isn’t true though just in case you were wondering. It will not turn you into a god, and it won’t make you any stronger, it’ll just make you eternally youthful.” W explained.

“That sounds good actually.” Twilight said, after scratching her chin in thought.

“Alright then, if that’s what you want.” W told her with a surprisingly kind smile. Then the goddess snapped her fingers, a thin purple light flowed over Twilight’s body before disappearing in a small flash.

“I don’t feel any different.” Twilight commented.

“You aren’t supposed to. That’s kind of the point.” W told her with a smirk.

“Okay, thank you so much for the reward.” Twilight said with a smile.

“It’s really the least I can do for turning you into a killer. Oh, and I’m sending you back standing right in front of Celestia, she’s on a balcony overlooking the queendom. Five seconds before you arrive silently she’ll have said ‘I miss you Twilight Sparkle’ she’ll have her eyes closed. I suggest doing something romantic.”

***

Celestia let out a sigh. Shining Armor had returned empty hooved except for a note that said ‘she’ll be there soon’ and a bag of gifts from the man who had saved Twilight’s life. Now she stood on a balcony overlooking her queendom and with her eyes closed said. “I miss you Twilight Sparkle.”

“I missed you too Princess.” Twilight replied unexpectedly before she gently kissed Celestia’s lips. Celestia’s eyes shot open in surprise and she was met by the newly mismatched organic and glowing blue robotic eyes of the unicorn she cared for the most.

“You’re back!” Celestia exclaimed once she’d pulled away from the kiss.

“Forever.” Twilight told her before her lips moved forward again.

“Sister, I just felt a disturbance in the for-” Luna began as she entered the balcony but she cut herself off as she saw her sister and Twilight Sparkle locked in a passionate kiss. “-oh, never mind then. I’ll just leave you two to it. Oh, and Celly? Try not to disturb the entire castle, not everypony enjoys screams of ecstasy.” Luna continued before she teleported away. Twilight and Celestia continued without even noticing that she’d been there.

“So what brought on this sudden change of heart, not that I mind in any way?” Celestia asked as they parted after taking a few seconds to catch her breath.

“Let’s just say that getting a new eye and leg changes your outlook on life. Gods I just made a pun…” Twilight said with a facehoof.

“So what do you wish to learn my student?” Celestia asked with an aroused smile.

“I was thinking that you could show me some of the positions in that one old book, you know the one with those-” Twilight began but she was interrupted as her brother burst into the room.

“Your majesty! We have a situation! Ponyville is under attack by a hydra!” Shining exclaimed before he noticed that Twilight was back and wrapped her in a hug. “And it’s good to have you back again Twily.” Shining added.

“Thanks Shiny, now you mentioned something about a hydra attacking Ponyville?” Twilight asked.

“Yeah, it showed up around twenty minutes ago.” Shining said.

“I will deal with this situation at once!” Celestia said as her golden war armor appeared on her body.

“I’m coming too.” Twilight said determinedly.

“Don’t you want to relax? You’ve been under a lot of stress.” Celestia asked in surprise. Shining had said that she’d changed, but Celestia wasn’t expecting her to want to charge into a battle a scant few seconds after returning.

“What’s a little more violence in a day?” Twilight asked with a chuckle. “Oh, Shiny? Do you have my armor with you by any chance?” Twilight added.

“I might as well go get it.” Shining said with a sigh. He returned a few seconds later carrying Twilight’s new pack. She quickly scanned the contents, before swiftly putting on her blood and gore stained combat armor. Celestia’s eyes widened significantly. She hadn’t had a chance to look over the armor, but the amount of blood on it was extremely impressive.

“There. All dressed.” Twilight said with a sigh of relief. “You have no idea how weird it feels to not wear armor after wearing it for ten days straight.” Twilight told Celestia, who raised an eyebrow. She actually did know exactly what her student spoke of, but she didn’t know how to feel about the fact that Twilight had had enough experience in war over the course of ten days to get that attached to the feelings of comfort that armor provided.

“Well then, if you are ready then we can’t waste any more time, your friends could be in danger.” Celestia told Twilight with an internal sigh, she had the oddest feeling that there would be an adjustment period between she and Twilight before they could really understand each other again.

“Yes, let’s.”

***

“I’m jumping.” Twilight told Celestia as their sky carriage soared over Ponyville giving them a bird’s eye view of the battle below. The hydra was currently engaged in combat with her friends and Twilight would be damned before she let them get hurt.

“But Twilight, we’re still two hundred feet above the ground!” Celestia exclaimed in shock.

“Don’t worry, I’ve got this.” Twilight told her before giving Celestia an unexpected kiss on the lips and doing a backflip off of the sky carriage.

Are you sure about this? 1 asked 2.

Of course, well… if Ethan can do this shit then so can we! Now start calculating our wind resistance and drop angle. 2 replied with a metaphorical grin.

Fine, but if we do die I’m kicking your ass. 1 said.

You realize that we’re the temporarily split personalities of the same mare, right? 2 asked.

Yes. 1 answered simply

***

Dash landed another kick to the central hydra head’s nose, but it didn’t do anything other than attract the monster’s attention and Dash was forced to dodge several heads at once.

“I don’t know how much longer we can keep this up!” Rainbow yelled to the rest of her friends, who were busy attacking the hydra’s legs while Pinkie kept on shouting something about getting up on the hydra’s back.

“Don’t fret darling, we will show this brute what it means to attack our homes!” Rarity shouted up as she dodged a bladed claw before stabbing the hydra in the foot with a thin blade, causing it to scream in rage.

“Ah really wish that Twi was her-” AJ began, but then suddenly stopped and turned her head to the side “-Am ah the only one who hears screaming?” AJ asked, the others stopped to listen, as did the hydra (mostly because the noise was more interesting than the ponies it was trying to eat). Rainbow spotted a purple shape wrapped in a cone of purple magic, plummeting head first out of the sky, and heading straight for the hydra’s back.

“Cowabunga mother fucker!” The shape screamed, and Dash’s eyes widened as she identified Twilight at the center of the cone.

***

THIS WAS A TERRIBLE IDEA! 1 shouted mentally at 2.

THIS IS SO MUCH FUN! 2 replied

***

Twilight’s magic coated body slammed into the hydra’s back in a geyser of blood. This was followed several seconds later by an explosion of magic that shredded the hydra’s body into dozens of large, wet pieces that flew into the air before they fell to the ground with meaty slaps. The other five elements (minus Pinkie, who had wondered how long it would take their friend to get back and was mostly just happy to have her friend once more in her preferred universe) stared in amazement as the bloody mist cleared and Twilight Sparkle’s form became apparent. There was a large intake of breath from the assembled ponies as they stared at Twilight Sparkle. She was completely free of hydra blood and wearing battered looking armor, walking towards them with her one mechanical leg moving slightly ahead of her three organic ones. Her robotic eye flicked over them rapidly, and a smirk was plastered across her face.

“Hey girls, I’m back. Sup?” She asked with a wide smirk.

New Perk
Celestially tied: You’re tied to your true love, try not to die…

The End part 3

Edited by TacoTown

The end part 3

“Twilight?” Rainbow Dash asked in horrified amazement.

“It’s me Dash.” Twilight confirmed with a grin.

“You just killed a hydra, by landing on it.” Dash continued flatly.

“Yep, all I had to do was get the velocity and the wind resistance right, along with making sure that my shield would provide enough protection. Nothing big.” Twilight said with a shrug.

“Twi, ya just killed a hydra.” Applejack said.

“Yes I just said that… am I missing something here?” Twilight asked, looking at each of her friends faces, which were displaying a diverse group of expressions ranging from absolutely terrified (Fluttershy) to extremely happy (one guess) to confused (Applejack, Rarity, and Dash to be precise).

“Na, they’ll get over it Twilight. It’ll just take time for them to adjust. I on the other hoof am extremely happy to see you!” Pinkie said before she ran forward and wrapped Twilight in a hug.

“Thanks Pinkie, it’s amazing to see you too.” Twilight said as she returned the embrace, Pinkie shivered for half a second when the cold metal of Twilight’s leg wrapped around her, but it didn’t last long.

“It’s Twilight girls, she’s just a bit more proactive with her problem solving now.” Pinkie told the rest of the group who were still staring. “Oh for goddesses sake, she’s been through enough mental trauma over the last ten days to put any of us, myself included, in a padded room. The least you could do is hug her.” Pinkie told them with a slight glare.

“Pinkie, how would you know that?” Twilight asked in confusion.

“Well there’s my Pinkie Sense, then there’s the fact that you look awful, your armor is covered with more ponies bodies then I’d like to guess, and finally there’s the fact that you jumped out of a perfectly good sky carriage to make an air assault on a hydra. That kind of thing says a lot about your mental health silly filly.” Pinkie retorted with a shrug.

“Aw shucks girls, let’s give her a chance. If it is Twilight under all that armor then ah’d feel pretty guilty for just standin here.” Applejack said before she went up and embraced Twilight. The others slowly joined the group hug, except for Fluttershy who remained halfway between catatonic and scared stiff.

“You killed it.” Fluttershy whispered.

“Yes.” Twilight said.

“Why would you have had to kill it, it would’ve left eventually.” Fluttershy said a little louder.

“After it had finished destroying the town.” Twilight replied dryly as the others let go of her.

“The town can be rebuilt.” Fluttershy said, louder than before.

“Fluttershy, it was a monster.” Twilight said.

“It was just doing what it does naturally.” Fluttershy was almost shouting now, not quite, but almost. It was enough of a hint for the other mares to slowly back away from Twilight.

“Ah, so it naturally destroys towns, and I’m supposed to let it?” Twilight asked, tilting her head to the side.

“It’s better than killing it!” Fluttershy loudly.

“Fluttershy, some things don’t deserve to live!” Twilight replied angrily.

“All things deserve that right Twilight!” Fluttershy was at the point of no return, if Twilight said one more hurtful thing then she’d lose it.

“No they don’t, something that’s already proven to be dangerous to ponies and has destroyed half of a town has forfeited its right to life!” Twilight replied loudly.

“Who made you judge, jury, and executioner?!” Fluttershy shouted.

“It wasn’t a pony Fluttershy, it was a giant fucking hydra!” Twilight shouted back, the others let out a shocked breath. Twilight didn’t curse in public, she just didn’t. And she especially didn’t curse at Fluttershy. Fluttershy burst into tears, and Twilight felt like she’d kicked a puppy. In the face. With an armored horseshoe.

“Ah don’t know who ya are, but there’s no way in Tartarus that yall’re Twilight Sparkle.” AJ said with an angry frown at Twilight, before she began to walk away.

“Fluttershy, I’m sorry I-” Twilight began, but Fluttershy flew away crying, followed by Dash who shot an angry glare at Twilight. “-DAMMIT!” Twilight shouted.

“You certainly aren’t Twilight with a mouth like that; Twilight is a true lady and would never disgrace herself in such a manner.” Rarity said, before turning up her nose and walking away at a very fashionable pace towards Fluttershy’s house. Twilight sat down hard and stared at the ground for a few seconds before she began to weep.

“I, I, dammit. Dammit. Dammit!” She said as the tears streaked her face. To her surprise she found herself on the receiving end of a hug from Pinkie.

“It’ll be okay Twilight, they’ll come around. You’ll see. Just give it time.” Pinkie told her softly.

“It’s not that Pinkie, I fucked up. I fucked up bad.” Twilight murmured. “What was I thinking cursing at Fluttershy like that? Stupid Twilight, stupid Twilight, stupid Twilight!” She added, lowering her head further with every repetition.

“Twilight, what’s going on?” Celestia asked in confusion from behind them. Twilight didn’t seem to hear her.

“She and Fluttershy got into an argument about the ethics of killing the hydra, then Twilight said fucking and Fluttershy flew away crying and the rest of the Elements went to comfort Fluttershy.” Pinkie supplied.

“What?” Celestia asked in surprise before she rushed forward and wrapped her wings comfortingly around the purple mare, Pinkie had been insightful enough to jump away before the alicorn had started forward, so she didn’t get in the way.

“I’ll leave you two alone, I’ve got to go and tell everypony else that it’s okey dokey to come out of the shelters.” Pinkie told Celestia, before she began to hop away in the direction of town hall.

“My little love, are you all right?” Celestia asked softly.

“No. Can you take me home Princess?” Twilight asked in a low miserable voice.

“Of course.” Celestia said, before they both vanished in a flash of white light.

***

“Shining Armor, what possessed you to cockblock my sister?” Luna asked while fixing the Captain of the Guard with an impressive stare that had him wilting under its intensity.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about Ma’am.” He said, after taking a few seconds to regain his composure.

“You interrupted my sister’s makeout session with Twilight Sparkle and sent the two of them off to fight a hydra; can you possibly imagine the consequences of your action?” Luna asked furiously.

“Less disturbing noises and shattered glass?” Shining quipped.

“No! It means that you’re shoving your sister into a situation where her newly acquired skills at killing can be put to use in a terrifying way! Shining Armor, when was the last time that Equestria was truly in a war where there were casualties?” Luna asked him.

“Two hundred years ago against the hippogriff clans of the eastern mountains.” Shining replied automatically.

“And can you tell me how often the average equestrian experiences violent death?” Luna asked, narrowing her gaze.

“Umm, never.” Shining said slowly.

“Very good. Now, can you tell me what would happen if Twilight Sparkle’s friends saw her kill a hydra, in what I’m going to assume will be an awesomely violent way?” Luna asked.

“They’d be terrified.” Shining said slowly, as the full effect of Luna’s words sank in.

“Yes, they would be.” Luna said softly the rage draining out of her eyes.

“I was just trying to do my job, trying to get back into my old routine. If I hear about something I report it to Celestia, it’s not my fault!” Shining almost shouted.

“Shining, why are you shouting?” Cadence asked as she entered the room (they’d already exchanged a very passionate reunion so there was no surprise in her voice.).

“Because I’ve probably just ruined my sister’s friendship with all of her friends.” Shining said miserably, his head slumped.

“Come here Shining.” Cadence said, offering Shining Armor her forelegs, which he sank into gratefully. “Now, why don’t you tell me what’s been bothering you?” Cadence asked looking into her husband’s eyes.

“Nothing’s wrong with me, why do people keep asking me that?!” Shining retorted with a surprising amount of venom that made Cadence flinch away from him.

“Shining…” Cadence said sounding hurt.

“Cadence I- I need some air!” Shining said suddenly before he teleported away.

“Well, that could’ve gone better.” Luna mused to herself.

“Auntie what am I going to do? I think he’s going crazy!” Cadence exclaimed worriedly.

“Let him figure things out without your help unless he asks for it. It’s a stallion thing.” Luna replied with a sigh and a shrug.

“I keep hearing that, I can’t help but feel that it’s a very stupid way of thinking.” Cadence said with a frown.

“Why do you think Celly prefers mares? Well, aside from enjoying p-” Luna began.

“Please don’t finish that sentence.” Cadence said with a sigh, cutting off her aunt who pouted.

“Honestly, I was going to say ‘aside from enjoying pleasant conversations that don’t involve sports or manly things’. Did you think I was going to say pussy?” Luna asked, tilting her head to the side.

“When did you and Aunt Celestia decide it was your job to embarrass me all the time?” Cadence asked as she fought down the blush that was quickly covering her cheeks.

“Well, you’re having sex with a stud like Shining; I’d say that that entitles us to have as much fun with you as we want.” Luna replied with a smile.

“Why is my family so weird?” Cadence asked, burying her face in her hooves.

“Well, your family consists of two eternal alicorns who’ve been around roughly forty thousand years, what did you expect?” Luna asked.

“Some level of nobility.” Cadence replied with a sigh.

“Heh, you think this is bad? You should see the griffin king’s orgies.” Luna replied with a grin.

“Okay, I’m just going to go look for Shining; you can stay here being weird.” Cadence said before she fled the room.

“I’m not weird, am I Bluestreak?” Luna asked, turning to her guard.

“If I say yes will I be punished?” The guard asked.

“Only if you’re lucky.” Luna replied with a seductive smirk.

“Ma’am, you are without a doubt the weirdest princess in the land.”

***

Ethan sat on the couch in the main room of Ethan’s house, with Cassandra lying on top of him in content silence.

“So, kids…” Ethan said, broking the subject that he’d been thinking about for the last few hours and breaking the silence.

“Kids.” Cassandra agreed with a smile.

“What’ll we name them?” Ethan asked.

“I was thinking, wait. You know, I never really thought about it.” Cassandra said with a chuckle.

“How do you feel about John for a boy?” Ethan asked.

“No, maybe Luke.” Cassandra said.

“Hmm… I’m not a fan, why not David?” Ethan proposed.

“No, what about Shepard?” She asked with a mischievous grin.

“You want to name our son after your old last name?” Ethan asked with a chuckle.

“Well why not; there have been a lot of great Shepards out there.” Cassandra said.

“Because no. What about Ash?” Ethan replied.

“I actually like the sound of that.” Cassandra answered with a smile.

“What about if it’s a girl?” Ethan asked.

“How about Shade, it’s a pretty name for a girl.” Cassandra mused.

“You really like darkness don’t you?” Ethan asked with a chuckle.

“Hey, it’s better than anything you can do.” Cassandra shot back before leaning back and giving Ethan a short kiss on the lips.

“Want to bet?” Ethan asked with a chuckle.

“Sure, winner gets to be on top.” Cassandra replied.

“Alright, I pick Katniss.” Ethan said with a grin.

“Meh, that’s a name that makes me nervous for some reason, I pick Trillian.” Cassandra told him.

“Honestly, I liked Shade better than that one, how about Diana?” Ethan asked

“No, maybe River?”

“No. What about Miranda?” Ethan suggested.

“No, what do you thing about Ebony?” Cassandra asked.

“Is our daughter going to be a stripper?” Ethan asked her with a cheeky smile.

“You’re right, never mind then.” Cassandra said shaking her head.

“How about Raven? That’s a good name, right?” Ethan asked.

“I still like Shade, but that one does have a nice ring to it.”

“You know what, let’s just go with Shade.” Ethan said with a shrug.

“So I’m on top?” Cassandra asked with a mischievous smile.

“Aren’t you always?” Ethan replied with a grin.

***

Twilight was curled up against Celestia’s side, crying on the bed in Twilight’s bedroom. The older mare looked down at her love worriedly, and tried to think of something to do to help the distraught mare. She’d been crying for twenty minutes straight and Celestia wasn’t sure how much longer she could stand it.

“Twilight, you have to stop.” Celestia said calmly.

“I-I-I can’t!” Twilight said softly.

“Pull it together. Please, you have to.” Celestia told her.

“Why should I? All of my friends hate me because I’m a fucking moron!” She shouted before she broke down again.

“Twilight Sparkle, you will pull yourself together this instant!” Celestia roared (using a spell to make sure that none of the noise left the confines of the library.). Twilight jumped in surprise at the unexpected rise in volume and turned to look into Celestia’s eyes.

“But Princ-”

“No buts Twilight! You saved the town. Yes you screwed up, but you are in no way a idiot and you are most definitely not a fucking moron! Now you are going to stop crying, go find your friends, apologize to Fluttershy, and get a hold of yourself or so help me I will send you back to Magic Kindergarten! Am I understood?!” Celestia asked while giving Twilight a look that could’ve boiled the oceans.

“Yes Princess!” Twilight shouted, snapping to a salute.

“Twilight, why are you saluting?” Celestia asked with a smirk.

“I don’t know; it just seemed like the thing to do.” Twilight said while she dropped the salute and rubbed the back of her head sheepishly.

“You’re so cute when you’re embarrassed.” Celestia said before giving Twilight a kiss on the lips. They were about to get farther when a frantic knocking came from the front door.

“Twilight, are you in there? Open up, it’s Spike!” Spike’s voice shouted up to the bedroom from the door, his voice shaky and desperate.

“I’d suggest letting him in, he’s been very worried about you.” Celestia told her student with a wink.

Twilight ran towards the front door and threw it open to find the short purple dragon standing right in front of it. Before Spike knew what was happening Twilight grabbed him in a deep hug, and pulled the door closed as she dragged him into the library.

“I missed you Twilight.” Spike whispered into her ear.

“I missed you to Spike.” Twilight replied as a new wave of tears flowed down her face, and began to stream down the dragon’s back.

“You won’t leave me again will you?” He asked quietly as they rocked back and forth together.

“Never again Spike, never again.” Twilight whispered back.

The End Part 4

The End part 4

Shining Armor flashed back into existence in the Royal Gardens of all places. Then again, he’d mostly just been trying to get away and hadn’t had a particular destination in mind ahead of time. So he supposed that it was better to be here then some of the other places his brain could’ve picked. A sudden image of him showing up in the female guard’s shower room suddenly popped up, and Shining had to resist the urge to shudder at the past blow to his stallionhood when he thought about the last time he’d made a random jump. Who knew that mares got so jumpy when someone randomly appears their shower room?

Shining let out a long sigh. He didn’t know why, but he just couldn’t tell Cadence about what he was feeling. Some part of his mind refused to allow it. The worst part was that he could still clearly see the changeling queen writhing beneath him; he could feel as her body gyrated against him sending him, to new heights of pleasure. Some part of his mind had known that Cadence had been acting strange (more aggressive, bossy, and honestly kind of a bitch) but he’d put it off as pre wedding jitters. But that night all his body cared about was the sensations that she’d been sending up and down his…body.

Once he and Cadence had gotten to their honeymoon destination (a beautiful cabin in the woods that Luna had hoof crafted herself at some point, for some reason it had a skylight right above the bed but Shining still had no idea why) he’d immediately begun to be wracked by waves of guilt that hadn’t yet abated. It was as if a fundamental part of the bedrock of his mind had been replaced by a thin layer of plaster, which had begun to slowly chip away as life continued. At first it had only been little things, he’d had a few nightmares about waking up in the claws of the queen. Then it had progressed to the point where he couldn’t stand to have Cadence underneath him anymore, and he’d let her ride him for a change.

Now he was a mess and worst of all he didn’t know what to do. There was no one he could really talk to who could really understand. He’d already tried with Twilight, but all she’d done was suggest going to Cadence, and Shining knew that he couldn’t do that. He sent out an angry blast of force that sent a few birds flying away, screeching in annoyance as they were forced to give up their perches. He continued down the paths until his hooves touched only grass and he found himself standing in front of a beautiful waterfall. With a sigh, he settled into a semi relaxed position on the ground, as the mist created by the waterfall gently wet his face and coat. It was surprisingly therapeutic just sitting there listening to the sounds of the birds in the trees and the patter of the water from the falls hitting the water in the pool below.

“Well what do we have here?” A voice suddenly asked. “My word, it’s Shining Armor, Captain of the Guard. My my, what a surprise.” The voice continued. The voice was mocking, condescending, and had more than just a bit of crazy in it. “I wonder what he’s doing here visiting me. Oh well, I’m sure this promises to be entertaining if nothing else, certainly better than anything that those birds were doing.” To Shining’s surprise the twisted form of Discord suddenly appeared in front of him with a flash. Shining shot a bolt of force out of his horn that passed right through Discord, without doing so much as scuffing the creature’s scales. “I’m going to assume that you can hear me, or maybe you just like shooting blasts of force at water.” Discord said with a chuckle.

“I can see and hear you.” Shining said from between clenched teeth.

“Now there’s a surprise. Usually only Celly or Lulu can see me…” Discord said before trailing off with a shrug. “Would you like some chocolate?” Discord asked, holding out a talon full of chocolate hearts.

“Fuck off!” Shining shouted at him.

“Now now, what’s got a bee in your derriere?” Discord asked with a smirk.

“I said fuck off you snake!” Shining shouted again before he sent another blast of force at Discord, which again only passed through the Draconequus harmlessly.

“And here I thought only smart ponies became the Captain of the Royal Guard. My, how standards have declined.” Discord told him mockingly, causing Shining to scream in frustration and shoot an even stronger wall of force at Discord, with predictable results.

“Just, go away…please.” Shining said softly, it was almost a whimper.

“Or what? You’re in my house at the moment, well really my garden but I refuse to call the cave underneath the pool my house out of principle, so why should I be the one to leave?” Discord asked as he floated upside down, drinking a glass of chocolate milk through a bendy straw as it floated right side up, balanced on the back of his head.

“Because I’m about two seconds away from having a mental breakdown and you aren’t helping!” Shining said miserably.

“Aww, what’s got you down champ? Did your team lose the big game?” Discord asked as he righted himself while simultaneously flipping the milk.

“Like you care.” Shining said with an angry frown.

“I don’t get out much right now bucko. Hell, I listen to birds arguing over worms for entertainment most of the time, unless Celly graces me with her noble presence.” Discord said with a shrug.

“So you’re bored.” Shining said as the thought hit him.

“You bet I am” Discord said with a chuckle. “Now, tell me what’s got you walking around like you’ve got a stick shoved up your ass?” Discord asked.

“How about I say fuck you and walk away?” Shining retorted, before getting to his hooves and beginning to walk away.

“Because otherwise your life is going to spiral down the drain like so much cotton candy down Pinkie’s throat.” Discord replied simply.

“What would you know about it?!” Shining asked angrily, turning to stare at Discord with hatred in his eyes.

“Because I specialize in the mind kid, and I can tell that you need a bit of help at the moment.” Discord answered, before a pair of large black framed glasses appeared on his face along with a comfy looking physiologist’s couch and a notepad. “Now, why don’t you take a seat there on the ground and tell old Dr. Discord what’s the matter?” Shining sat down with a defeated sigh.

“Fine, but I don’t have to like this.” Shining told Discord with a scowl.

“Honestly, I’d prefer you not to.” Discord replied with a smirk. “Alright, why don’t you tell me what’s got you so bothered?”

“You’re familiar with the changeling invasion of Canterlot right?” Shining asked.

“Oh yes, it was a truly wonderful afternoon. Ponies were screaming, bugs were dying in droves, and there was just enough true love to balance things out.” Discord replied with a grin, which caused Shining to scowl at him.

“Well do you remember the way that the changelings got through my shield?” Shining asked, waiting for Discord’s annoying reply.

“Of course, their queen disguised herself as that pink little lollipop and brainwashed yo- Ah I get it, you’re guilty about letting them control you.” Discord said as his eyebrows closed together and a wide grin crossed his face. Shining growled at him, but the Draconequus rolled his eyes and motioned for Shining to continue.

“Well before that happened, there was a night before…” Shining said before he trailed off.

“Oh; and how was it?” Discord asked wiggling his eyebrows up and down with a smirk.

“It was…amazing.” Shining said with a wince at the twinge that the thoughts of the night sent through his body.

“I see. And how does that make you feel?” Discord asked.

“Horrible. I betrayed Cadence in the most complete way possible, and then whenever I think about it just hits me again.” Shining said again, his ears drooping as he laid his head in the soft grass and let the mist mingle with his tears.

“So it is guilt, just not the kind that I thought it was.” Discord said as he adjusted his glasses and then scratched his chin in thought. “Have you tried telling Cadence about this?”

“Why does everyone keep asking me that? Of course I haven’t!” Shining shouted, lifting his head from the wet grass. “How the fuck could I tell my wife that I miss the feeling of being inside of that insect?” Shining asked furiously.

“Well, she does have power over love, and changeling magic relies on love (or at least feelings), and gods know that love is one of, if not the most, powerful force in Equestria. It stands to reason that there’s at least a bit of the queen’s spell lingering in your mind (or your head if you know what I mean, bow chicka bow wow) and I’m sure that your wife could discover it if she looked.” Discord told Shining as he scribbled on his note pad.

“That’s not all though.” Shining said quietly.

“Go on.” Discord said gesturing for him to continue.

“Well I’ve spent the last few days rescuing my sister from a radioactive wasteland and being emasculated repeatedly by my kid sister as she tore people in half and then killed them with their own legs.” Shining said defeated.

“Hmm… it seems that at least Sparkle is progressing nicely.” Discord mused to himself. “But I can’t see how this could affect you as badly as it has.” He added.

“I was supposed to be her hero, the knight in shining armor that was going to keep her safe from the creatures and evil around her! Instead I got my ass handed to me by some snarky jackass with sword so large that it has got to be over compensating for something, and found out that my little Twily is more than capable of defending herself!” Shining shouted.

“Yes, statutory neglect tends to do that to a pony.” Discord observed dryly.

“What did you just say?!” Shining shouted, turning his angry eyes to Discord once more.

“Well, what other way should I put it? In your absence your little Twily beat off a possessed god, an Ursa Major, and helped fight off a dragon? Not to mention fighting me, although truth be told I could’ve won if I wasn’t so distracted by the dancing buffalo, I had nothing to do with that and it was a very interesting sight.” Discord asked Shining, who seemed to shrink under the weight of the question.

“None of that was my fault, I was away on training.” He said in a small voice.

“You’re right, it wasn’t your fault you were doing your job. Yet here we are talking about it; so something about it must be causing you pain.” Discord replied with a shrug as he sipped at his chocolate milk, which was now spinning in a circle in front of him.

“I just don’t know what to do.” Shining whispered.

“Talk to them you muscle-bound moron. Hell, your wife is over there behind that bush and has been listening this entire time. How she can hear what I’m saying is beyond me, but that’s not important.” Discord said before pointing at a bush off to the right.

“Cadence?” Shining called.

“I’m here Shining.” The pink alicorn said as she emerged from the bush. She ran forward and threw her forelegs around Shining’s neck. “Why didn’t you tell me about this?” She whispered in his ear.

“I, I couldn’t; I was too ashamed of myself.” Shining told her softly.

“Shining, I’m your wife. You can always talk to me about anything. I had no idea that you’d had sex with Chrysalis, she probably wound dozens of spells around you.” Cadence said shutting as her horn began to glow. Then her eyes snapped open and she let out a shocked yelp.

“What is it?” Shining asked in surprise.

“Shining, your dick is covered with so many empathetic binding spells that I’m surprised it hasn’t shocked me!” She exclaimed.

“What?” Shining asked in confusion.

“There are at least a hundred spells wrapped around your body that are forcing you to lust after Chrysalis, and more than half of them are coiled around you penis!” Cadence exclaimed.

“There are?” Shining asked in complete surprise.

“Yes. Oh, I’m going to hunt that bitch down and tear her horn off of her head!” Cadence said angrily. “But first I’m going to have to spend hours getting rid of all of these spells.” She said with a sigh.

“Would you mind doing that somewhere else? I may be a god of disharmony but the only people I enjoy watching having sex this close are hot teenaged lesbians and horny college lesbians.” Discord asked, clearing his throat loudly.

“What makes you think that this will involve sex?” Shining asked.

“Because spells like these are usually removed during the same kind of action that they were applied. In fact, I’m guessing that you began to avoid whatever position you used while having sex with Chrysalis right?” Discord asked.

“Umm, yeah.” Shining said.

“It was the spells’ way of protecting themselves, now please go fornicate elsewhere.” Discord told them before vanishing.

“Want to do it right here?” Cadence whispered slyly.

“I love you.”

***

“So are you two an item now?” Spike asked as he set a plate of pancakes in front of Twilight, and one in front of Celestia. Twilight nearly sprayed the milk that was in her mouth onto Celestia’s face, but caught herself just in time.

“What makes you think that Spike?” Celestia asked, completely ignoring Twilight’s outburst.

“Well, you keep doing that thing that couples do.” Spike replied with a shrug.

The baby dragon had adjusted surprisingly quickly to the new Twilight. He thought her new eye and leg were cool, and besides, she’d raised him since he was hatched and it took more than a few cosmetic changes to affect his view of her.

“What thing?” Twilight managed.

“You know; that thing where you keep meeting each other’s eyes then looking away with a blush.” Spike elaborated with a small grin. “It’s what Lyra and Bon Bon do whenever they come to pick out books, or what Ditzy Doo and Cloud Kicker do when they’re at Sugar Cube Corner.” Spike added with a shrug as he brought out a tin of syrup and began to liberally pour it on the pancakes.

“You’re quite wise for your age Spike.” Celestia told him with a motherly grin.

“Thanks, you’re not so bad yourself Princess.” Spike replied with a wink at Celestia, who chuckled.

“So Spike, have you been able to run the library without me around?” Twilight asked in an attempt to change the subject.

“Hmm? Oh yeah, it was easy. I’ve watched you do it long enough that I know exactly how run it; had a bit of trouble with some of the heavier books but Rarity helped me with her magic.” The baby dragon replied with a shrug.

“Well that was nice of her.” Celestia said before they were interrupted by a frantic bout of knocking from the front door.

“I’ll get it Twilight; you just eat your breakfast.” Spike said with a nod, before he walked out of the kitchen and headed towards the front door. Spike opened the door and was surprised to find Rarity looking at him anxiously.

“Is it here?” Rarity asked urgently.

“Who?” Spike asked.

“Is that thing that looks like Twilight Sparkle here?” Rarity clarified.

“If you’re asking if Twilight is home, then yes she is.” Spike replied, narrowing his eyes slightly.

“Then I have to get you away from that thing as fast as possible! Get on my back!” Rarity told Spike worriedly.

“Why?” Spike asked.

“Because that thing in there is not Twilight Sparkle, it’s dangerous! Who knows what kind of depraved acts of evil it’s committing!” Rarity whispered furtively.

“She’s eating pancakes.” Spike said flatly.

“Then we have to get away before it finishes!” Rarity said.

“No, I’m staying here.” Spike said, crossing his arms and steadfastly refusing to budge.

“But Spikey Wikey, what if it attacks you?” Rarity asked.

“Hey Twilight, are you going to attack me?” Spike called into the kitchen, much to Rarity’s surprise.

“I wasn’t planning on it Spike.” Twilight called back with a sigh that only Celestia could hear.

“See, there’s nothing to worry about.” Spike said with a shrug.

“It wouldn’t tell you if it was going to attack you Spike, you have to leave now!” Rarity almost shouted.

“For Christ’s sake.” Twilight said with a sigh and a facehoof; Celestia had been boosting the volume of the exchange, and they’d both heard every word.

“Christ?” Celestia asked Twilight, intrigued.

“I’ll explain later. Let’s go and stop my friend from kidnapping Spike.” Twilight replied with another sigh. Together they got up from the table and walked out of the kitchen to find Rarity attempting to magically pull Spike out the door.

“Twilight, help! I think she’s going to break something!” Spike shouted once he saw them enter the room. Rarity shrieked in surprise at the sight of Twilight, who was cocking an eyebrow at her.

“Really?” Twilight asked, before easily tearing Spike out of Rarity’s magical grip. “You were trying to take Spike from me because I’m dangerous. I FUCKING RAISED HIM!” Twilight shouted angrily, as her horn became wrapped in a magical purple light and her eyes filled with a rage that made Rarity flinch. “You think that I’m some kind of monster? Well I’ll show you just ho-” Twilight’s rant was interrupted by Celestia tapping her on the shoulder as she entered the room.

“Twilight, I think you’re doing more harm than good here.” The princess told her dryly. “Also, if you had finished that sentence I would’ve been forced to send you to the corner for using that old cliché.” Celestia added reprovingly.

“Thanks, I needed that.” Twilight said, giving Celestia a smile before she turned back to Rarity. “Rarity, look. I’m still the Twilight Sparkle that left around ten days ago. I’ve just been through a lot of stress and I’ve gotten used to being around people who curse and kill for a living. Forgive me if I’m being a little unbalanced at the moment.” Twilight told Rarity as her eyes slowly stopped glowing. Rarity was shaking slightly, but otherwise the fashionista appeared unflappable.

“Twilight, if nothing else this little episode proves that you’re obviously dangerous. In fact, it proves that Spike isn’t safe around you!” Rarity said haughtily.

“No it doesn’t, you were trying to kidnap my brother! What else was I supposed to do?” Twilight shouted angrily (although she held back her magic, not wishing to further vindicate Rarity’s point.)

“I was trying to rescue him!” Rarity shot back.

“He didn’t need to be rescued!” Twilight shouted, almost losing her temper again.

“Girls, both of you be silent at once!” Celestia told them sternly, silencing the two arguing mares. “Twilight Sparkle has just returned from a long trip to a nightmarish landscape where she was forced to kill to survive, so she is understandably a little more violent then she was before she left. What is surely not helping her is events like this.” Celestia continued.

“But Princess, she’s unstable!” Rarity replied, shooting Twilight a wary glance.

“And you think having her friends turn their backs on her and attempting to kidnap someone who is a brother to her will improve that?” Celestia asked, arching a royal eyebrow.

“I thou-”

“No, that’s the problem. You didn’t think.” Celestia replied harshly, and Rarity flinched as if she’d been slapped across the face with an armored glove.

“I-” Rarity began, but Celestia interrupted her again.

“Now I realize that Twilight’s arrival was a bit ‘shocking’, but that is no reason to be afraid of her, and it certainly not the way I expect the Elements of Harmony to treat their unofficial leader.” Celestia continued, shooting Rarity a glare that was only a few levels above the one that she’d given Discord the time he’s gotten free. To say that Rarity was ashamed would be an understatement.

“I, I’m sorry Twilight darling, it’s just that-” Rarity began.

“It’s fine Rarity; I probably shouldn’t have done what I did either.” Twilight said, scuffing her hoof on the ground as a guilty look came over her face.

“Now that that’s settled, why don’t we go eat pancakes?” Celestia asked, giving Twilight a nudge with her flank.

“That sounds wonderful; I always have enjoyed Spike’s cooking.” Rarity said, smiling brightly. The words ‘and it’ll give me a chance to protect him’ went unspoken between the three of them, but they all heard them. Spike remained unaware of the stress filled undercurrent and was simply happy that they’d stopped arguing.

“Yes, wonderful.” Twilight said with a smile that almost managed to look real.

Prologue

Edit: I’m well aware that the beginning of this is full of bad grammar, missing commas, and other errors, that being said if you can get to the point where my editor signed on then it gets worlds better

Dark Wanderings

Prologue

It was a late night in Castle Canterlot and the royal sisters were once again going over the disappearance of Twilight Sparkle. Celestia lay with her back on the baseboard of her bed while Luna sat next to her on the bed. They were both drinking some very good watered down red wine, although Celestia was noticeably deeper into her glass then Luna. Celestia looked into her glass before taking another sip; she looked very sad, and extremely tired. Luna looked at her sister with a frown but she didn’t let her concern for her sister show otherwise.

“Okay Tia let’s go over this again.” Luna said calmly as she laid a hoof on her sister’s shoulder.

“Yes I suppose it might help.” Celestia said with a frown.

“We might have missed something earlier; you know what mother would say.” Luna said with a small smile.

“Yes that I should stop worrying about it and try and find a way to bring her back.” Celestia said with a sigh.

“Exactly, now start at the beginning.” Luna said with a nod.

“Twilight and I were testing out a variant of the common teleportation spell except this one was supposed to not take as much out of the user.” Celestia began.

“Go on.” Luna said.

“Well we worked on the theory until it was flawless and then Twilight volunteered to test the spell, it seemed harmless so I couldn’t see any reason why she shouldn’t try it. She activated her magic and that’s where it happened. Her eyes glowed green, and not the kind of green that you’d find in nature, it was sickly unnatural green. Then she vanished.” Celestia said with another sigh.

“We’ve sent missives all over Equestria looking for her sister, wherever your teleportation spell sent her she is likely no longer on the continent.” Luna told her.

“I know that Luna.” Celestia told her sister. “All that I know for certain is that she’s still alive, I would know otherwise.” She added after a few seconds of silence.

“I’ll tell you if anything changes sister, oh and the other Elements are on their way to see if they can help somehow.” Luna said with a gentle smile.

“I doubt that they will provide much assistance, but Twilight could be in great danger if we do not find her so every little bit helps.” Celestia said her voice full with worry.

“Try to sleep sister, you look terrible and you need rest.” Luna said gently.

“Alright Lulu wake me if anything changes.” Celestia said before settling into her bed, Luna gave her sister a kiss on the cheek and walked out of the room taking the now empty wine glasses with her. “Be safe Twilight.” Celestia whispered before sleep claimed her.

***

Twilight Sparkle star student to Princess Celestia ruler of Equestria looked around herself in confusion. She was not where she’d planned to be…Instead of the comforting shelves of books and familiar furniture of her library home she was confronted by the sickly smell of rotting flesh and horrifying sight of a bloody mattress covered in guts and gore.“Well looky here boys, fresh meat!” A voice behind her shouted with undisguised glee.

Twilight whirled in place and found herself confronted by four figures. They reminded Twilight slightly of diamond dogs except leaner, and possibly more intelligent. To her surprise and horror they seemed to be covered in blood soaked rags and Twilight could quite easily smell the scent of death around them.

“Please don’t hurt me!” She said; her senses were still too shocked by the overwhelming scent of them to do much more.

“It can talk?” One of her assailants asked in confusion.

“Don’t matter it’s still fresh meat, besides we kill things that can talk all the time!” Another said leering at Twilight its eyes clearly showed a type of madness that the lavender pony had never seen before.

In its hand was what appeared to be a butcher’s knife covered and smeared in long dried blood. Twilight tried to back away from her antagonists but found that her movement was blocked by a cold metal wall.

“Time to die meat!” One of the disgusting figures shouted ecstatically, he swung a rust covered sword at Twilight’s head.

Twilight had recovered just enough to remember the basic self-defense classes that her brother had given her after the wedding. Instead of standing there like an idiot Twilight dove away and the sword dinged harmlessly off of the wall. Twilight was on her hooves immediately and began to search for an exit to the small shack. Meanwhile the other bipeds were laughing at their companion’s failure.

“It sure showed you.” One of them laughed before it drew a shiny metallic object and pointed it at Twilight. “Why don’t you let me show you how it’s done?” It asked hefting the object with a sadistic grin on its face.

Twilight didn’t know what the object was but she knew that she didn’t want anything that these murders had pointed in her direction. Twilight ran towards a small hole in the wall of the building that she’d noticed and dove through just as a loud bang filled the air behind her. Twilight suddenly felt a horrible burning sensation as something smashed into her flank and sent her into a rolling landing. The things came out of the small hut laughing.

“Did you see that it thought it was going to get away, wa, ha, ha, ha, ha!” The thing with the silvery thing that apparently spat objects laughed as it stalked towards Twilight as she lay prostrate and bleeding on the ground. “Any last words meat?” The thing asked as it leveled the shiny object at her head. Twilight thought for a second before she shouted.

“SOMEPONY HELP ME!” The thing chuckled while the rest laughed.

“Bad choice, horsy nighty night.” The thing with the object laughed. Suddenly the thing’s head exploded in a shower of blood and gore. The others looked around in confusion and Twilight shuddered, some of the thing’s blood had stained her coat and she could feel the sticky redness sink into her fur.

“Who the hell did that?” One of the things asked.

“I don’t know but I’m going to ki-” Another replied but was cut off as its head exploded in an equally impressive shower of gore. The last two things stood back to back looking around apprehensively for any signs of whoever had killed their fellows.

“I don’t want to die.” One of them whispered as it clutched his knife.

“Shut up, don’t be such a pussy.” The other replied

“You don’t think it’s him do you?” The first asked, they’d apparently forgotten all about Twilight because neither moved to stop her as she desperately began to crawl away.

“Na he’s too busy with the mutants to be up here.” The second replied confidently. “All we need to do is find where this little pussy is hiding and kill him that’s all.” It added with a grin.

“And then we can eat the talking horse!” The first said.

“Exactly!” The second said “Now when I give the signal you-” His sentence was cut off as his head exploded as well. Twilight had only been able to drag herself a few feet away from the things but she still managed to avoid having any more blood stain her coat and she now looked on in horrified interest. The last thing looked around its eyes wild and filled with fear.

“I actually wasn’t all that busy you know.” A new figure said as it emerged from behind the last of the things who had attacked Twilight.

“Shit!” The thing shouted as it swung its knife at the new figure. The figure chuckled as he (its voice was obviously masculine) grabbed the remaining attack’s wrist mid swing and Twilight heard the distinctive sound of bones braking at her rescuer slammed the wrist into its knee.

“You know I remember posting a warning to all of you raiders out here.” The figure carried on casually as if he was holding a conversation over tea. “If remember correctly it said that if you don’t give up being a raider and turn over a new leaf then I was going to hunt you down like the rabid dogs you are and kill you as painfully as I could.” The figure added.

Now that the figure was no longer hiding Twilight saw bipedal figure who looked like the ones who had recently been planning to eat her. He was wearing a long brown duster that looked like it had been well worn and patched multiple times. Cheerful blue eyes looked out of a young face that was framed by a slightly messy brown mane.

“Fuck you!” Her attacker told the man cringing in pain and clutching its wrist in pain.

“Hmm… well I’m on a tight schedule if I’m going to stop the talking unicorn from bleeding out so this is your lucky day.” Her rescuer said with a wide grin.

“You’re going to let me live?” The attacker asked.

“I never said that did I?” Her rescuer answered with another grin faster than Twilight thought possible the rescuer had his own shiny thing in his hand and without warning he fired directly into the attacker’s head which exploded outward somehow the rescuer avoided getting wet. Twilight was beginning to feel lightheaded at this point but she held onto consciousness aware that her rescuer may not have good intentions for her.

The rescuer crouched down next to Twilight and flashed her a smile. “This is going to hurt for a few seconds while I get the bullet out of you okay. Don’t panic it’ll only make my job harder.” He told her reassuringly before he pulled his backpack off of his back and began to pull out several different items. “I’m giving you a shot of Med-x to help with the pain, but besides that I won’t be able to do much for it. I don’t want to give you too much in the first place in case it reacts badly with your biology.” He added before Twilight felt a sudden burn near the area where she’d been shot. She yelped at the pain but it quickly receded and was replaced by a sense of calming numbness.

“Thank you.” Twilight whispered.

“Don’t mention it I’m not in a rush and you’re the first unicorn I’ve ever met, besides I couldn’t let you be eaten by raiders could I?” He asked rhetorically as his hands moved rapidly. Twilight saw him take a bottle of water and sprinkle it over her wound before getting a pair of tweezers and inserting them into the hole.

Her rescuer worked quickly and quietly and before long he pulled the tweezers out of the wound a piece of metal clutched between their teeth. He sprinkled a little more water onto the wound and removed another syringe from his pack. “This is a stimpack, it’ll close the wound and prevent infection, or at least it works that way with humans…” He told her with a shrug before he stabbed the needle into Twilight’s side. To her surprise and amazement the hole in her skin immediately began to close and a new coat of purple fur grew over the area.

“Wow what kind of magic is that?” Twilight asked in awe, she’d seen healing spells before but they required a lot of time and effort.

“It’s not magic, just a little bit of prewar medical tech.” Her rescuer told her with a shrug as he returned to his feet. Twilight to her surprise rose to own as well without any difficulty or pain. She discovered that her head was on level with his waist. “So what’s a talking unicorn doing in a raider camp?” Her rescuer asked.

“I don’t know, I was testing a teleportation spell with Princess Celestia and suddenly I found myself surrounded by those things…” Twilight said directing her gaze towards the headless bodies of the raiders.

“They’re called raiders, they’re what happen when someone gives up on living like a human being and become ruled by their basic needs.” Her rescuer told her in a grim voice. “So what’s your name?” He asked her after a few seconds of awkward silence.

“Twilight Sparkle.” Twilight replied simply, the shock of her situation had worn off and she was now doing her best not to panic.

“Well I’m Ethan Smith.” He said offering her his hand to shake, Twilight shook it nervously and Ethan smiled at her. “Come on we aren’t that far from Megaton and we should make it there before dark if we hurry. You can stay with me for a while as long as you don’t mind sharing a house with me, a dog, and a sarcastic robot butler.” Ethan told her before setting off as Twilight scrambled after him.

“So umm Ethan, where am I exactly?” Twilight asked cautiously.

“You’re a few miles north of Megaton, which is located roughly the center of the Capital Wasteland on what used to be planet Earth.” Ethan replied cheerfully.

“I’m not on Equis anymore?” Twilight asked in panic, she’d already known she wasn’t in Equestria but she had no idea she was no longer on the same planet.

“Sorry Sparky I’ve never heard of Equis.” Ethan told her with a shrug.

“How can you possibly be so nonchalant about an alien telling you that she’s from another planet!” Twilight yelled at him but Ethan only chuckled.

“Trust me Sparky I’ve met aliens before, although I’ve got to say that they were a lot uglier then you.” He told her with a shrug. Unobserved to Ethan Twilight’s right eye twitched dangerously.

“Please don’t call me that.” She said her voice was low and sounded slightly dangerous. Ethan didn’t seem to care.

“Sorry Sparky I calls em like I sees them.” He replied with a grin. He was unexpectedly thrown forward by a blast of pure force. He hit the ground with a roll and had his magnum drawn before he’d finished the roll. His eyes looked around for a threat but they (Along with his trusty pipboy) displayed only Twilight who was still marked as non hostile. To Ethan’s surprise the unicorn’s horn was glowing with a faint purple light.

“I said don’t call me Sparky.” Twilight said calmly, Ethan just smiled and shook his head before holstering his magnum and returning to his stride while Twilight caught up.

“Whatever you just did was pretty cool Sparky, but seeing as I’m your only hope of living I would suggest you not try and kill me. I mean I’m not really worried about you killing me, but I’d prefer it if you didn’t wear out my jacket by hitting it with blasts of kinetic energy.” Ethan told her nonchalantly while Twilight just stared at him.

“How aren’t you hurt, I hit you with enough force to make a manticore flinch?” Twilight asked in shock.

“Well you see Sparky I’m very, very hard to kill. Once you’ve survived about half as much as I have you begin to not feel much pain unless you’re about to die” Ethan told her with a chuckle. “Now how about some traveling music?” He asked with a grin before he tapped a few buttons located on the thing attached to his wrist.

Hello Capital Wasteland! Stocks are up, unemployment is down, and the UN has declared global peace forever, and now the real news.

The Lone Wanderer was recently sighted taking on a swarm of fifty supermutant masters in a climactic battle at the center of the Washington mall. Witnesses report that the Wanderer clad in his now iconic leather duster reduced the mutants to bloody mush with the aid of a magnum and a plasma rifle. Good work kid drop by the studio next time you’re in the area and I might have a toaster you can fix.

And now here’s everyone’s favorite man, Butcher Pete!

"Meh there weren’t fifty of them.” Ethan said with a shrug.

“What?” Twilight asked in confusion.

“I said there weren’t fifty of them, honestly there were only around twenty and most of them were just brutes.” Ethan told her with another shrug.

“You’re on the radio.” Twilight said flatly.

“Yep I’m friends with Three Dog and he reports on my exploits, although he occasionally paints me as a messiah.” Ethan told her with a roll of his eyes.

“A messiah?” Twilight asked in shock.

“Yeah, apparently once you return fresh water to the Wasteland and destroy a large prewar organization bent on wasteland domination essentially singlehandedly you’re elevated to the status of messiah. Personally I think that I’m nothing special, but Three Dog needs symbols for the ‘Good Fight’ so I don’t really mind the reputation boost.” Ethan told her simply. They spent the rest of the walk in silence listening only to the radio and came within sight of Megaton just as the sun started to set.

Twilight’s breath was torn from her body as the giant metal gate of Megaton began to slowly rise with a great mechanical shudder. The town was surrounded by tall metal walls and a man stood above them on a little watch tower holding another shiny stick thing. They strolled into town and a large black skinned man walked up to them, he took one look at Ethan and sighed.

“Ethan please tell me that that isn’t a unicorn.” The man said in a tired voice.

“Alright Lucas, she’s a magic talking unicorn.” Ethan said with a wide smile, Lucas had a very pained expression on his face that Twilight could already emphasize with even after only knowing Ethan for a few hours.

“Hi I’m Twilight.” Twilight said stepping forward and offering Lucas her hoof, the man sighed and shook it with the resigned look of someone long suffering through such odd introductions.

“I’m Lucas Sims and I’m the sheriff of this town, come to me if you have any questions or problems that Ethan can’t handle, although problem wise if he can’t handle it I can’t either.” Lucas said with another sigh. “Stay out of trouble Ethan.” He added before he started to walk away.

“Trouble me? I never get in trouble Lucas.” Ethan said with a grin before leading Twilight towards a large two story house built out of large sheets of metal. “Okay Twilight this is how it’s going to go. I’m going to open the door, my dog is going to put his legs on my shoulders and give me a face bath. Then he’s going to turn to you and start to growl, don’t let that scare you he’s a real softy unless you’re a raider. All you have to do is offer him your hoof. He’ll smell it then probably bathe your face too. Also don’t be freaked out by my robot butler he’s a little weird looking if you haven’t seen one before but he’s nice.” Ethan told her before opening the door to the house.

An enormous (by Twilight’s standards) dog rushed forward threw itself at Ethan who laughed as its tongue ran over his face, after a few seconds he pushed the dog off and it turned to Twilight who found herself looking into the beast’s eyes. Twilight gulped but offered the dog her hoof to sniff; the dog narrowed his eyes before cautiously sniffing her outstretched hoof. Then to Twilight’s surprise he gave a small happy bark and began to coat her face in slobber. Twilight started to giggle and tried to push the dog away. Eventually Ethan had to come to her rescue and drag the dog away.

“And now you’ve met Dogmeat.” Ethan said with a grin. “Honey I’m home!” He called, Twilight expected a female to answer; instead a slightly odd male voice replied.

“I see that master, I see that you’ve also found another traveling companion.” The voice said to Twilight’s astonishment a white metal creature that somewhat resembled a floating spider emerged from the upper floor of the house. Its top turned and Twilight found herself looking into a glowing yellow light bulb like eye. “Greetings madam I am Wadsworth it is a pleasure to meet you.” The robot told her, now that she thought about it used the same tone of voice that several of the palace butlers used.

“I’m Twilight Sparkle and I’m happy to meet you.” Twilight replied with a grin.

“Always nice to meet more of the master’s company, although you are much more polite then the normal rabble.” Wadsworth told her nicely before turning away and heading for the stairs. Twilight looked around the house and for the first time got a real impression of Ethan’s home.

It reminded her somewhat of a Canterlot apartment filled with cozy chairs and a coffee table. Hanging from the wall were several very interesting items and Twilight found herself drawn to a certain book in particular. She was about to touch it when Ethan suddenly appeared and knocked her hoof away.

“Wadsworth, how did the book get out of its vault?” Ethan called to the robot.

“I assure you I don’t know, although I imagine that as a cursed object used by an insane man in a swamp it surely doesn’t care much for the laws of reality master, as always I recommend destroying it.” Wadsworth replied as he appeared and grabbed the book off the wall with one of his robotic hands before moving away with it.

“You keep a cursed book in your house?” Twilight asked Ethan flatly, for his part Ethan looked embarrassed.

“I just haven’t had time to destroy it lately.” He said his face turning slightly red. “So can I offer you something to eat, I mean I’m sure you don’t eat meat, but I’m sure you wouldn’t mind cereal right?” He asked her.

“Sure I’ll take cereal.” Twilight replied before thinking about the first part of the sentence. “Wait you eat meat!?” She asked in shock.

“Well yeah, humans are omnivores.” Ethan replied from where he was rummaging in the fridge.

“You aren’t going to eat me are you?” Twilight asked.

“Yes I plan on it; I’m actually just fattening you up first. You’re too skinny right now.” Ethan told her with a chuckle.

“The master is joking Miss Sparkle, he has no intentions of eating you.” Wadsworth said floating by as he rearranged several objects on a shelf.

“Oh come on Wadsworth let me have a little fun.” Ethan said coming back into the room and handing Twilight a box of cereal.

“No milk?” Twilight asked raising an eyebrow.

“I don’t like brahmin milk.” Ethan told her with a shrug “Although they make very tasty steak.” He added with a slight smile as Twilight looked at him in annoyance.

“I’ve never heard of a brahmin, why don’t you just use cow milk?” Twilight asked.

“Oh right, sorry I keep on forgetting that you’ve never been in the wasteland before.” He said apologetically. “Anyways what we call brahmin were cows before the war, now they have two heads.” He told her with a shrug.

“What!?” Twilight shouted in horrified confusion. Ethan facepalmed and sighed.

“Do you like books?” He asked her and received a nod.

“Yes I was a librarian before I came here.” Twilight replied nervously.

“Good here read this and eat the cereal.” He told her before tossing her a book. “I coauthored it so I know it’s great.” He added with a note of pride in his voice.

“The Wasteland Survival Guide, written by Moria Brown, coauthored and researched by Ethan Smith AKA the Lone Wanderer.” Twilight said reading the cover aloud.

“Yep, trust me it’ll help you and it’ll tell you more about the Wasteland and our ‘proud’ history.” Ethan said with a shrug as he moved back to his fridge. Twilight sat in one of the comfy chairs and began to read while munching on the cereal, Ethan moved into the chair across from her and began to eat his own dinner.

“Is this a joke?” Twilight asked a few minutes later.

“Hmm?” Ethan asked looking up from his meal

“I asked whether this was a joke.” Twilight repeated holding up the book.

“What do you mean?” Ethan asked her slight confusion showing on his face.

“It says that your species essentially committed suicide.” Twilight said flatly. Ethan nodded. “But no species would ever do that!” She shouted.

“Humans are odd that way.” Ethan told her with a sad look, it was the first time Twilight had seen him look anything other than happy.

“But how could your leaders have been so…” Twilight trailed off, she didn’t have appropriate words to convey her feelings.

“Retardedly asinine.” He finished for her, but she shook her head.

“Fucking moronic!” She said with great disdain.

“Don’t ask me from what I can tell everyone was crazy back then.” Ethan told her with a shrug as he continued to eat.

Twilight went back to reading. Every few minutes she would raise her eyes and look at Ethan questioningly but she never asked whatever question was bothering her. Meanwhile Ethan had gone over to one of his equipment lockers and retrieved several guns which he disassembled and then reassembled repeatedly them. When Twilight looked up from the book she saw him doing it, he looked like he was lost in a trance, almost like the weapons had a special meaning to him that was lost on her. Then a single tear fell from his eyes and landed on the guns spread out before him.

“Are you okay?” She asked quietly.

“Mhm.” He replied before looking up from the guns. “Sorry what was that?” He asked her.

“I asked if you were okay, you were crying.” Twilight said softly.

“Oh that; I’m sorry these guns bring back bad memories but I’ve found that the best way to move on is to work with them.” He said with a sigh before he finished reassembling the guns before him.

“What kind of bad memories?” Twilight asked.

“Well this was the gun that Colonel Autumn used when he was killing my dad’s scientists. And then my dad died in vain trying to stop him” He said holding a up a small boxy pistol.

“I’m sorry.” Twilight told him sincerely, Ethan let out a small sigh.

“Thanks Sparky, it happened two years ago and I still get sentimental about it. Although I didn’t realize that I cried, damn it’s been to long since I had a friend to talk to.” He said with a tiny chuckle.

“What about the others?” She asked.

“Well this magnum belonged to Agatha’s husband; she was an old widow who broadcasted her own radio of violin music. Then she was killed by raiders.” He said, a hard glint had come into his eyes. “I made sure that they regretted it, dearly.” Twilight flinched at the tone of his voice.

It was tone that she’d heard only once before. It was the tone of voice that Celestia had used when she’d discovered that a dragon had burned down a large town. She’d returned two days later tired and covered in blood. Twilight had been too shocked to do or say anything to her for a week. Ethan saw her flinch and his face softened.

“Sorry, like I said bad memories…” He told her trailing off with a slightly sheepish look on his face.

“You confuse me.” Twilight told him shaking her head in annoyance.

“Oh?” He asked.

“I don’t understand you, one second you’re happy, the next you’re broody, and then the next you’re embarrassed. You remind me of Pinkie Pie.” She said with a slight groan.

“With a name like that I just know that whoever that is is awesome.” He replied with a grin and Twilight let out another groan. “Anyways I’m sorry if I’m a bit erratic, it comes with the territory.” He said with a grin before he got up and put the guns away. Twilight went back to reading; Ethan went upstairs and returned with two glass bottles. “Want a soda?” He asked distracting her from the book.

“Sure.” She replied with a smile, Ethan tossed her one and she caught it expertly in her magic. Ethan popped the bottlecap off the soda and took a short drink, he sighed in satisfaction as the ice cold Nuka Cola flowed down his throat. Twilight looked at it experimentally before she followed his example. “This stuff is good, wait, how can three hundred year old soda not be flat?” Twilight asked in confusion.

“I’ll tell you when you finish it.” He replied with a shrug, Twilight eyed him wearily but shrugged before she continued reading and took the occasional sip of her soda. When she’d finished it she looked up at him expectantly but fond that he’d become distracted by what looked like a copy of the device attached to his wrist.

“So what is it that keeps it from going flat?” She asked trying to break his attention away from the device.

“My theory is that it’s the small amount of radiation that they included during production.” He told her with a smile, Twilight stared at him blankly. “Like I said people back then were crazy.” he told her with a chuckle. “The real question is are you going to let yourself be denied that great taste by something as easily fought as a small amount of radiation?” He asked her with a wide grin, she threw the bottle at him.

***

“So what am I going to do tomorrow?” Twilight asked Ethan, she was curled up on a spare mattress that he’d had lying around, he’d set it on the floor next to his bed so she wouldn’t have to sleep alone in the guest room.

“Well first things first we’re taking you to see Moria so that we can get you some armor, normally I’d let you use a set of my old combat armor but seeing as how it’s not made for unicorns… Then I’m going to take you out and teach you how to shoot and defend yourself downtown.” He told her.

“I’m not sure that I’m comfortable killing people.” Twilight protested.

“Then you’ll be dead.” He told her flatly.

“Alright I’ll learn.” She said with a sigh.

“Sorry it’s the way of the world and you need to learn until I can find a way to get you home.” He told her.

“Do you really think you can find a way?” Twilight asked him but Ethan just smiled at her.

“Sparky I’m the Lone Wanderer; I’ve taken over an alien space ship with the help of a prewar medic, a little girl, a cowboy, a samurai, and wastelander. I’m not about to let a little thing like magic stop me from returning you to where you belong.” He told her with a grin. “Wadsworth, would you get the lights please?” He asked the robot butler.

“Of course sir, would you like some warm milk before you sleep?” The robot asked while he turned off the lights.

“When the hell did you become so sarcastic?” Ethan asked.

“I think it was that alien robot tech that you put in me sir, now if you’ll excuse me I have a doomsday device to complete.” Wadsworth told him before floating out of the room.

“He wasn’t serious was he?” Twilight asked quietly.

“Na he’s joking, I think.” Ethan told her. “If he’s not we’ll know soon enough, good night Sparky.”

***

Celestia sat bolt upright in her bed and looked around in confusion and terror.

“It was just a dream sister.” Luna said from beside her.

“Luna what are you doing here, shouldn’t you be at court?” Celestia asked.

“It ended early and when I walked by your door I heard you crying out in fear, the guards told me that you were having a nightmare.” Luna told her gently.

“Oh, I’m sorry for disturbing you.” Celestia said with a frown.

“Think nothing of it sister, do you want to talk about it?” Luna asked.

“No, although I suddenly feel better about where Twilight is, I think she’s with a friend.” Celestia said her frown deepening.

“She’s Twilight Sparkle; barring an emotional breakdown I think that she’d be fine almost anywhere I’ve never seen a mare as adaptable as her.” Luna said with a smile.

“Neither have I Luna, neither have I.” Celestia told her before she laid her head back into the pillow. “Good night sister.” She whispered before closing her eyes, her sleep seemed much easier but Luna kept a silent vigil over her sister’s sleeping form until it was time for the sun to rise.

Day 5 part 3 end of day 5

Day 5 part 3 End of Day 5

“Thank you for your help Ethan, once again the Brotherhood is in your debt.” Elder Lyons said with a weary sigh.

“Anytime Elder, I live to help in times of need.” Ethan replied with a shrug.

“I looked over that report that you filed and I must say that I am very disturbed by your description of this mutant Dominus, he appears to be far more dangerous than any mutant we’ve faced since the Master himself.” Lyons said with a frown.

“Yeah, I’m actually not too worried now that I know what to expect, he seems to be your normal run of the mill mutant conqueror. What I’m more worried about is the fact that there was a group of Talon Company mercs after Twilight the first day after she showed up, which means that someone knew that she was coming.” Ethan said with a frown.

“How could they’ve?” Lyons asked. “You yourself only ran into her because of pure luck correct?” Lyons asked in confusion.

“Yeah I don’t understand it; I’m going to be talking to Commander Jabsco about it.” Ethan said with a dark smile.

“Do you really think it wise to forget about the mutant threat?” Lyons asked Ethan with a hard look.

“It’s not that I’m forgetting, it’s that I don’t want an unexplained variable running around causing Twilight problems, something’s fishy about this sir, and I hate fish.” Ethan told the Elder who sighed.

“Very well, if you think that that’s the best thing that you could be occupying your time with.” Lyons replied fixing Ethan with a heavy stare.

“Trust me Elder we decimated most of his forces here he’s fallen back to somewhere safe where he can lick his wounds, now is the time for Twilight to get some answers.” Ethan replied. “I owe her that much at least.” He added thinking about how the mare was currently lying unconscious in the Brotherhood clinic.

“She is certainly a very talented young woman, and if anyone deserves to be free of this brown wasteland it’s her.” Lyons continued with a sigh. “Do as you will Ethan, just come back soon, I doubt that we could kill this Dominus without you.”

“Don’t worry Lyons I’ll be back.” Ethan told Lyons before extending his hand to shake the old man’s.

They shook once (Ethan noticed that the old man’s grip was as strong as ever) before Ethan exited the room and made his way to the infirmary. When he got there Twilight was still asleep so he pulled out an old Grognak the Barbarian comic and read while he waited for the purple mare to awaken. He must have waited around half an hour before a low groan announced that Twilight had returned to the land of the living.

“Evening sleepyhead how’re you doing Sparky?” Ethan asked as the unicorn slowly sat up.

“Make the loud noises go away.” Twilight groaned.

“HEY SPARKY ARE YOU AWAKE YET?” Ethan shouted causing Twilight to grasp her head in pain, Ethan winced. “Sorry Sparky, so how do you feel?” He asked her as she turned to look at him.

“I’m fine… ugh it feels like someone’s been banging on my head with a hammer for an hour.” Twilight said with another groan. “Goddesses I hate magical exhaustion.” She added as she took a sip out of the aqua pura bottle that Ethan offered her.

“Magical exhaustion?” Ethan asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Yeah magical exhaustion, it’s basically like a hangover but with less alcohol and no odd conversations with your friend’s brother about how you and your friend got really loud…” Twilight said and then covered her mouth in surprise while Ethan smirked.

“And here I was thinking that you were a virgin this whole time.” Ethan told her with a chuckle.

“I never said that, I just said that I didn’t want Celestia to be alone forever. I never turned down a good time when it was with someone I trusted; besides alcohol makes good social lubricant.” Twilight said with a smirk.

“Tell me about it, this one time I threw a merc party for all of my mercenary friends. The next morning I awoke to Sidney and Riley snuggled up on either side of me it was great…till they woke up… as it turns out that they were rivals in the merc business. Long story short my house got trashed and I had to run out of it naked in front of the entire town while two incredibly angry women chased me, good times.” Ethan replied with a smile.

“This was before you were married right?” Twilight asked.

“Yeah, Cassandra would literally skin me if she caught me cheating on her.” Ethan replied.

“Neat, I’ve always wanted a human skin carpet!” Twilight told Ethan with a wide smile.

“No you don’t, trust me it’s not very soft and it smells bad.” Ethan replied.

“I’m sure that given the proper treatments it would smell like a bed of roses.” Twilight said giving Ethan a smirk.

“You know Sparky I’ve been wondering, do unicorn horns grow back?” Ethan suddenly asked Twilight with a wide smile.

“No…why?” Twilight asked her eyes suddenly narrowing.

“Well you see I’ve always been a little worried about someone poisoning me, and according to legend if you cut off a unicorn’s horn and turn it into a cup it’ll prevent all poisonings.” Ethan told her with a wider smile. “And you know I was just thinking that we’re in an infirmary…”

“OH HELL NO!” Twilight shouted blasting Ethan off of his chair and into the wall he slumped to the floor laughing uproariously.

“Oh my god Twilight, you should’ve seen your face!” He shouted before collapsing back into hysterical laughter.

“What the hell is going on in here?” Sarah Lyons demanded from the doorway.

“Nothing Sarah, I just made Twilight aware of the old practice of cutting off unicorn horns as a way to prevent poisonings.” Ethan replied with a chuckle.

“Christ Ethan…” Sarah said with a sigh before walking away.

“You know I’m joking, right Sparky?” Ethan asked the unicorn whose fur was standing on end and bristling in a slightly cat like manner.

“Ethan if you ever, EVER, talk about cutting off my horn I’m castrating you.” Twilight replied without looking at him. Ethan gulped; even he wasn’t immune to that particular threat.

“Duly noted…” He replied. Twilight turned to face him with a giant smirk on her face.

“Point, Twilight.”

“Son of a bi-”

***

“Um Dash, what’re we going to tell your friends?” Gilda asked hesitantly in-between bites of her drumstick.

“That we’re together again and you’re going to apologize for them for being a bitch.” Dash replied as she tried to return her mane to its normal messy form, for some reason whenever she and Gilda had sex her hair got all straight and nasty.

“Fine… who should we start with?” Gilda asked with a sigh.

“Probably Pink-”

“Hi Dash!” Pinkie said from behind them making Dash and Gilda jump in surprise.

“Pinkie how the buck did you get up here?” Dash asked

“Silly filly I just climbed up the stairway to heaven, jumped off it, got some help from Anonymous who got thrown through the warp again by his Celestia and then I asked Captain Planet for help and we fought eco-terrorists until I got hit by an energy beam that transported me to the future where Vandal Savage helped me go back in time but I ended up in the middle of the desert until I got a lift from the Planet Express crew before they dropped me off with Harry Potter who gave me some flu powder which sent me to see the other Harry who gave me a ride through the Never Never and then I was in Atlantis with Milo and he used a crystal to transport me back here but I got interrupted along the way and ran into Blackjack and we went on a drunken adventure and then her spleen called her a cunt and she got into an argument with it and then I got hit by a spell that sent me to help Commander Shepard fight the Reapers…” Pinkie went on like that for around four minutes… “And that’s how I got here just in time to give you this really long explanation.” Pinkie finished with a smile.

“Is she insane?” Gilda asked.

“Na she’s just random.” Dash replied with a shrug.

The End of The End

The End of The End

Rarity and Twilight sat across the table from each other, Rarity stabbing into her pancakes with the kind of tenseness that spoke of violent thoughts. Meanwhile, Twilight was just enjoying the chance to bask in the radiance that came from sitting next the princess of the sun. As the fluffy texture of the pancake rolled over her tongue, Twilight’s mind began to wander back over the events of the last ten days.

Her initial introduction to the wasteland had involved being shot, and then having battlefield surgery performed by a complete stranger. Her second day she’d suffered a mental breakdown. It went on like that for ten days straight as she battled horror after horror with Ethan and his many friends. She’d seen things that would put most of the ponies in Equestria into a shock induced coma. And yet, she couldn’t help but wish that she was still there.

Deep down, Twilight Sparkle felt a deep longing to return to the land of radiation and monsters, if for nothing else then she would like the chance to spend more time with Ethan. That was probably the strangest thing.

At first Twilight had disliked the man. His sense of humor was crude and at times completely incomprehensible; he was callous and occasionally rude, but above all that he was a killer, and nothing that anyone could say or do would stop him from killing someone that he truly hated.

Despite all that Twilight had grown to like, (and in a non-romantic way) love the man for those very qualities. While he was crude and incomprehensible, he was also good humored and approachable. He was callous to the point of indifference about things like a raider dying, but if you laid a finger on his friends he would drive a railroad spike through your chest without a moment’s thought, and then comfort you about it. He could kill in an instant, but he was also regretful; and he’d occasionally done great acts of mercy, some of which ended badly but it was the thought that counted.

All and all, the man was an oxymoron that Twilight’s mind just couldn’t wrap itself around.

“Twilight, are you alright?” Celestia asked suddenly, breaking off Twilight’s train of thought.

“Hmm? What was that Princess?” Twilight asked, shaking her head slightly to clear it.

“I asked if you alright. You had the same look on your face that Luna gets when she’s envisioning what her night with Bluestreak will be like. Well, minus the drool of course.” Celestia told her with a smirk.

“So I looked horny?” Twilight asked with a chuckle, which caused Rarity to spit the milk in her mouth out in surprise, where it was caught in a ball of magic by Celestia, who hadn’t even been looking.

“Not horny exactly, more like longingly.” Celestia replied with a wider smirk as she noticed Rarity’s mouth opening and closing without any sounds escaping from its depths.

“Sorry, I’m just thinking of a friend that I made.” Twilight said with a chuckle.

“What was her name?” Celestia asked.

“It was a stallion, well, really it was a man, but for our purposes let’s just call him a stallion.” Twilight replied with a shrug.

“I see. So, what was this stallion’s name?” Celestia asked interestedly.

“Ethan Smith, aka the Lone Wanderer, aka that Crazy Son of a Bitch.” Twilight says as a smile slowly crept across her face at the thought of the man’s moniker.

“He doesn’t sound like a very refined person.” Rarity said with an indignant sniff, now that she’d recovered from hearing the Princess say the word horny.

“He’s not. Hell, I’m pretty sure that if he ever met the word refined he’d shoot it.” Twilight said with a chuckle.

“He truly sounds like a gift to the world.” Rarity said, rolling her eyes.

“Rarity, please don’t insult Ethan around me.” Twilight said calmly.

“Or what, you’ll kill me like you did the hydra?” Rarity asked with a slight sneer.

“It was a monster!” Twilight shouted, slamming her hoof into the table, causing her empty plate to jump. “A monster that was trying to eat you to be exact!” Twilight added.

“Stop it both of you.” Celestia said calmly interrupting. “Twilight killed the hydra; I would’ve killed the hydra (albeit with less bloodshed) but I would’ve killed it none the less.” Celestia said with finality that made Rarity gap openly. “My little pony, I know that you’ve been through Westhoof. What did your commander there tell you about monsters?” Celestia asked.

“I hated that place.” Rarity said while she sent a glare off into the distance.

“But.” Celestia said.

“But Commander Vimes would’ve stabbed that hydra through the heart and then taken a puff of his cigarette.” Rarity said with a disgusted look on her face.

“Yes he would’ve. That’s because Vimes knows what a monster like a hydra can do if left unchecked. Look at your friend Rarity. Underneath that eye and the scars is she any different than the mare who disappeared ten days ago?” Celestia asked Rarity piercingly.

Rarity turned to look at the now alien face of her friend. The normally purple mane was stained a slightly red color after repeatedly being drenched by blood splatters. A spidery group of mostly healed scratches traced over the right side of her face, giving it a kind but hard appearance. The left side of her face however, was still covered in scars that appeared to be much more significant, and her normal left eye had been replaced by a steel encased, shining blue orb that sparked with an unnatural life which sent a slight shiver down Rarity’s spine. Then, she looked into Twilight’s eyes, past the metallic and blue glow and she found herself looking into the eyes of her friend.

“Twilight, it’s really you.” Rarity said softly, before the tears began to leak from the sides of her eyes.

“Yeah, yeah it is Rarity.” Twilight replied with a smile, as she got up from her seat and walked over to Rarity so that the white unicorn could wrap her in a tight hug. Rarity began to weep, and Twilight squeezed her friend tightly with her nonmetallic hoof.

“We looked everywhere for you Twilight, and Dash started going out with Gilda, and then you came back in such a dreadful fashion, I just didn’t think that it was really you!” Rarity said around small ladylike sobs.

“It’s okay Rarity, I don’t blame you. The way that I made my entrance wasn’t all that well thought out.” Twilight told her with a blush.

“But I’ve been an utter shrew since you got back; I tried to take Spike away from you!” Rarity added with another sniff.

“Rarity, if you disappeared for ten days, then returned and made your entrance by cutting a hydra to bloody ribbons with a bunch of diamonds then I’d be afraid of you. Hell, I’d probably try and have you locked up for your own protection.” Twilight replied with a dry chuckle. Rarity laughed and let go of Twilight with a smile on her face.

“Twilight darling, I’m going to go and smooth things over with the others, Celestia only knows what crazy theories they’ve thought up while I’ve been here.” Rarity told her with a chuckle. “In the meantime, and I hope that this doesn’t make me sound rude you should take a shower. No offense dear, but you smell like you haven’t taken bathed in days.” Rarity added while scrunching up her nose in disgust.

“I’ll keep that in mind.” Twilight said with a wink.

“Alright then, I’ll leave you three here. Meet us all at Applejack’s farm in an hour or two.” Rarity replied with a nod before gracefully walking out the front door.

“Want me to go and start the shower for you?” Spike asked.

“That would be great Spike.” Twilight replied with a smile.

“Okey-dokey.” Spike said, heading off towards the shower.

“You know, you’re pretty dirty Twilight, perhaps I could help clean you.” Celestia whispered in Twilight’s ear. Twilight squeaked in surprise at the unexpectedly lusty voice next to her ear, and turned a bright shade of pink.

“I-I” Twilight began, but her brain was suddenly full of very stimulating imagery.

“Of course, I suppose if you don’t want my help I could just let you clean yourself.” Celestia added with a wink that made Twilight stutter a little more before her eyes hardened.

“NO! We’re doing this together!” Twilight said forcefully, and Celestia smiled down at her with a smirk that quickly disappeared as Twilight’s lips met hers in an impassioned kiss.

“You two know that I’m still here, right?” Spike asked from where he stood at the top of the stairs. Neither answered, apparently too caught up in their makeout session. “Alright then. Twilight, keep making out with Celestia if you say that it’s okay for me to borrow a hundred bits from your wallet.” Spike called down. Twilight let out a deep moan as Celestia picked her up in her magic, and began to carry her upstairs.

“I’ll just take that as a yes and leave now.” Spike said, shaking his head as the two walked past him without noticing that he was there. Spike retrieved Twilight’s wallet just before the first impassioned screams started. “Gah, I hope I’m never like that.” He muttered as he closed the door and Celestia’s sound spell prevented him from being exposed to the two mares’ sounds.

Spike walked into Sugar Cube Corner and saw Pinkie cheerfully placing a group of baked goods on the counter. She looked up at him and smiled.

“Hi Pinkie, do you think you have any of those gemstone covered cupcakes?” Spike asked.

“Yep, that’ll be twenty bits Spike.” Pinkie replied with a smile as she deftly grabbed one from a shelf behind her with her tail and lightly tossed it to the dragon, who caught it easily. “So, are you glad to have Twilight back?” Pinkie asked as Spike counted out the bits.

“Yeah, it’s great; I didn’t realize how much I missed her until she got back.” Spike said with a wistful smile.

“Tell me about it, things have been so quiet here without her! Well, except for the hydra and the zombies, but they don’t really count.” Pinkie said with a shrug.

“Zombies?” Spike asked in surprise. He hadn’t heard anything about zombies.

“Don’t worry, I stopped them. Turns out that all you need is a sunflower.” Pinkie replied with a shrug.

“Okay…” Spike said, trailing off uncertainly.

“So how’s Twilight doing?” Pinkie asked, easily switching over to a more relevant topic.

“She’s good. Rarity came over to try and protect me from her, one thing led to another, and now Twilight and Celestia are making out.” Spike said with a helpless shrug.

“You sound strangely unsurprised about this.” Pinkie said, giving Spike a raised eyebrow.

“I’ve slept in the same room as her for years; this isn’t exactly news to me.” Spike said with a slight grimace. “It’s why I wear earplugs.” He added.

“Well, I hope things are going well for her.” Pinkie said with a shrug.

***

They say (very quietly) that of the two alicorn sisters Luna may be the more adventurous of the two, but Celestia is the one who brings the most passion to everything that she does. Being the alicorn of the sun this is to be expected, after all the sun is much more expressive then the moon. Throughout history there is only one pony who has managed to bed both alicorns. According to Clover the Clever, having sex with Luna is like lying on a moonlit beach as the ocean slowly caresses you. Having sex Celestia is like diving into a raging volcano head first while you scream in fear (or in this case passion). Twilight Sparkle, who had never read Clover’s secret memoirs, had just discovered this.

***

“That was…incredible…!” Twilight exclaimed breathlessly as Celestia telekinetically poured another bucket of warm water over her head, in an attempt to un-dye her mane.

“You weren’t so bad yourself my dear.” Celestia replied with a chuckle as a small amount of Twilight’s mane returned to its natural purple color. Celestia knew that they’d never truly wash out the blood stains, but every little bit helped.

“I thought Luna was the goddess of sex, not you.” Twilight told Celestia with a wry grin.

“My sister is the goddess of sexual fun, along with the night. I am the goddess of the sun and passion.” Celestia said with a chuckle as Twilight instinctively flushed at the tone of her voice. “Besides, I have a lot of built up sexual tension.” Celestia added.

“What do you mean Princess?” Twilight asked.

“I haven’t been with anything, even my own hoof, for a thousand years; ever since Luna was banished I just haven’t felt the urge.” Celestia said with a shrug. “Well, at least untill lately anyways.” Celestia added while her eyes twinkled and her ethereal mane flowed around her face, looking significantly pinker then before for some reason.

“Wait, it’s been a thousand years since you last had sex?” Twilight asked in shock as she moved a sponge up and down her body in an attempt to remove more dirt.

“Yes, it’s why I may have seemed a bit rusty this time.” Celestia answered, looking slightly embarrassed.

“If that’s you rusty, then I can’t wait till you’re all greased up.” Twilight said, leaning over to kiss the alicorn on the cheek from where she was standing beside the tub. Celestia’s face was warm, warmer then it should’ve been; it almost felt as if she was on fire. Strangely, that didn’t affect Twilight any more than it had when she’d been exploring the alicorn earlier. Instead, the heat brought a smile to her lips and provided Twilight with a sense of familiarity and security.

“Was that a figure of speech or a suggestion?” Celestia asked with a smirk.

“Either or.” Twilight replied with a grin before shutting her eyes as a stream of conditioner flowed down her face.

“I had no idea you could be so forward Twilight.” Celestia said. “What happened to ‘yes Princess’?” She added

“I killed someone and then watched my new friend torture information out of another.” Twilight replied with a shrug. Celestia’s eye widened in surprise, and her jaw fell; Twilight missing both of these events thanks to her eyes being closed.

“Who was this friend?” Celestia asked, her voice tightening with slight malice.

“It was Ethan.” Twilight replied with a shrug.

“I thought you said that he was an honorable, kind, and dependable person, even if he is a total ass.” Celestia said with a hard tone entering her voice.

“He is; it’s just that the wasteland doesn’t allow him to be those things very often.” Twilight said with a sigh. “If it makes you feel any better Princess, he was trying to find out why the group of mercenaries was after me specifically. They’d also taken me captive a few minutes earlier and had a gun pressed against my skull.” She added with a low growl. It was a sound that Celestia had never heard Twilight make before, and she was momentarily stuck speechless by the sheer malevolence of it.

“I’m sorry dear.” Celestia said as she bent down to kiss Twilight’s forehead, sending a wave of heat rushing over the purple mare’s body.

“It’s not your fault Princess.” Twilight said with a sigh. “It’s a fact of life there. Kill or be killed, fight or die, slay or be slain, and yes I know how redundant that is. What really matters there is how much good you can fit in between the death.” Twilight said with another sad sigh.

“Twilight, please call me Celestia or Tia. It’s what those I love call me.” Celestia told Twilight as before giving the mare another kiss. Twilight let out a low hum that could’ve been mistaken for the purr of a cat as the heat washed over her body.

“Alright Tia.”

***

“So what you’re saying is that the one who showed up is actually Twilight?” Rainbow Dash asked as she flew in place at Rarity’s eye level, with a slight scowl.

“Yes, I’m positive of it for several reasons. One of which is the fact that Celestia is there endorsing her, another is the fact that she reacted just the way that you would expect her to if someone tried to forcibly take Spike away from her, and the last one… well let’s just say that there is something about her that just screams Twilight Sparkle.” Rarity replied with a shrug.

“So you’re sure?” Rainbow asked.

“Dash, I’m pretty sure that Rarity’s already answered that.” Applejack said while she scratched her chin thoughtfully with a forehoof.

“Yeah I know, I just wanted to make sure.” Dash replied.

“But Twilight would never have killed the hydra that way, how could she?” Fluttershy whispered unsteadily from where she sat in an armchair, drinking a glass of tea.

“Ah don’t know sugarcube, but I’m hankering to find out.” Applejack said, rising from her sitting position on the couch and walking towards the door.

“Wait! Hold on, what if she’s dangerous?” Dash asked as she quickly flew in front of Applejack, blocking her path.

“Then I’ll deal with her like I deal with unruly cattle.” Applejack answered with a significant nod towards the lasso attached to her belt.

“When did you start wearing a belt darling? If you’d told me I would’ve loved to make you a nice leather one.” Rarity asked, looking at Applejack’s belt with interest.

“It’s not mine, ah’m borrowing it from Big Mac.” Applejack replied.

“Can we worry about Applejack’s belt later?” Dash asked, and got a nod from the others before continuing. “Anyways, AJ you saw what she did to that hydra, do you really think that your rope will stop her if she wants you hurt you?”

“It’s worked before.” Applejack said.

“Okay, whatever. But if she turns you to ash because your rope got disintegrated, don’t blame me.” Dash said, crossing her forelegs in front of her chest in annoyance.

“You can come to you know.” Applejack said with a grin. “After all, I know ya missed her just as much as ah did.” She added.

“Awesome! And if it is really Twilight then I can show her my new moves!” Dash exclaimed.

“Were you even scared of her earlier?” Rarity asked, astonished at the cavalier attitude that her friend was displaying.

“Nope, there’s nothing in Equestria tougher than me! I was worried about you girls, especially Fluttershy.” Dash said, shooting Fluttershy a worried look.

“So then why did ya try and talk me out of going?” Applejack asked, giving Rainbow a raised eyebrow.

“Just because I’d be fine doesn’t mean that you would be Applejack.” Dash replied with a shrug.

“Are ya saying that you’re tougher then me?” Applejack asked, narrowing her eyes and getting in Dash’s face.

“Um, girls? I hate to interrupt what I’m positive would be a very predictable argument before it can get going, but aren’t we going to see Twilight?” Rarity asked.

“Oh right, we were going to Twilight’s, weren’t we?” Dash asked as she flew away from Applejack’s face.

“Yes we were. Are you coming Fluttershy?” Rarity asked, turning to the timid yellow pegasus.

“Umm, oh, hmm, maybe.” Fluttershy answered uncertainly.

“There’s nothing to worry about darling, I promise you that it is Twilight Sparkle.” Rarity said, giving Fluttershy a comforting look.

“Oh, well, I don’t know, she was very scary yesterday.” Fluttershy said softly.

“We’ll protect you if she does anything scary Shy.” Applejack told her reassuringly.

“Well, I guess if you three are there it won’t be as scary.” Fluttershy said tentatively before getting up from her chair and joining the others at the door of her cottage.

***

Pinkie suddenly began to grin wildly.

***

Twilight and Celestia had moved downstairs and were preparing to leave the house in an attempt to track down Twilight’s friends and make amends.

“Would you like a kiss for luck?” Celestia asked with a grin.

“How could anyone say no?” Twilight asked. She stretched her lips towards Celestia’s and the two melded together, tongues intertwining in a passionate embrace, right as the door opened. The sound of four jaws hitting the ground simultaneously was surprisingly loud in the midafternoon air. Twilight was jarred out of her lover’s lips by the sound, and she turned to find that four out of her five best friends in Equestria were staring at her and Celestia in open mouthed amazement.

“Humina, humina, humina…” Applejack said, her eyes quickly sliding back and forth between her friend and the Princess.

“I must be dreaming…” Rarity offered before passing out on the ground.

“Eeeeep!” Fluttershy said, before she joined Rarity on the ground.

“Twilight, you were just making out with Princess Celestia!” Dash exclaimed.

“Yep.” Twilight replied with a grin.

“Right on Twi!” Dash said with a wide grin before she swept her friend into a hug.

“Wait, aren’t you scared of me?” Twilight asked in surprise before leaning into the hug.

“Twilight, I routinely have sex with someone who by her nature should want to kill and eat me, there’s almost nothing that you could do to legitimately scare me after that.” Rainbow replied with a shrug.

“Oh dear, I just had the oddest dream, Twilight was kissing Celestia.” Rarity said as she staggered to her feet.

“I was.” Twilight told her with a smirk.

“Oh my. I must still be dreaming, please excuse me.” Rarity said, before she fell backwards into a couch that had magically appeared behind her.

“Twi, what are ya and Celestia doing kissing?” Applejack asked in confusion.

“Our tongues were getting to know each other better.” Twilight replied with a smirk.

“Is that what the kids are calling it these days?” Celestia inquired with a grin.

“Actually no, we call it making out; your majesty.” Rainbow Dash replied with a smile as she hovered in midair.

“And here I had no idea. Thank you Rainbow Dash.” Celestia replied.

“Could we go inside please?” Fluttershy asked from the ground where she lay (she hadn’t fainted, she’d just temporally lost control of her legs.)

“Sure, come on in.” Twilight replied with a grin. “Oh, and would one of you mind dragging Rarity in, can you imagine what she would say if we just left her out there?” Twilight asked her friends. Applejack easily grabbed the white unicorn and brought her inside the library.

“So Twilight, will you tell us your story?” Pinkie asked from where she was sitting in an armchair.

“Pinkie, how did you get in here?” Twilight asked in confusion.

“They ran out of syrup on the wall.” Pinkie replied with a shrug.

“Do I even want to know?” Twilight asked flatly.

“Nope.” Pinkie replied with a grin.

“Alright then, moving on. I woke up on a blood stained…”

***

Ethan looked at Cassandra, who was lying next to him on the bed reading some prewar book.

“Do you think that Sparky is doing okay?” He asked, breaking the silence.

“I’m sure she’s fine dear.” Cassandra said leaning closer into him.

“I hope so; I did my best to keep her safe while she was here, but I failed.” Ethan said with a sigh. Cassandra rolled over onto his chest and gently cupped his chin in her hand before leaning up to kiss him on the lips.

“Ethan, you’re the best man I know. If you say that you failed then it means that there’s not a god dammed person in the world that could’ve done a better job.” Cassandra told him forcefully after she broke away.

“Do you really think so?” Ethan asked with a sigh.

“Of course I do, I’m the Courier.” Cassandra replied.

“Well then, that’s good enough for me.” Ethan said before he reached over and turned off the light.

***

And so things returned to what qualifies as normal in both Equestria and the Wasteland.

That is, until Ethan received a letter

Credits

Chief Author: Ed2481, I thank him for his dashing good looks and charisma.

Junior Author: Ed2481, I thank him for being dependable and never tiring in his crusade for good literature and fanfiction, he is a true inspiration to all of humanity, if a bit of a blowhard.

Chief Editor: TacoTown, thanks for putting up with my shit, you rock bro.

Junior Editor: TacoTown, seriously, this guy is a life saver.

Cast

Ethan: Seth Green

Sparky (Twilight Sparkle): Tara Strong

Cassandra: Jennifer Hale

Inspiration

Gyvon: the story was originally going to be a complete rip off of OtWoA and Twilight would’ve been telling it the entire time. Then my brain hit me (I still have no idea how it managed that…) and it became what you see before you. To make a long story short, thanks for being awesome.

On a final note, to all those out there who are reading this, thank you so much for making this my best known fic, and for staying with and posting all of your awesome comments. I hope for the first chapter of the sequel to be out in around a week if not sooner, so stay tuned.