A Helpful Hoof

While he wasn’t sure how, or why, it had happened; Anon remembered the events clearly. One moment, he was warm and comfortable, beneath the blankets of his bed, as he drifted off to sleep; the next, the man was roused from his slumber by the piercing rays of light at dawn. Sitting upright, he discovered he was in a grassy field, far away from any signs of civilization.

Slowly, as Anon’s higher functions began to stir, his confusion turned to panic. Getting to his feet, he looked around, taking stock of his environment. Gone was his room, his house, his possessions, everything was simply missing. Fortunately, he was still wearing the t-shirt and shorts he’d gone to sleep in. Unfortunately, however, Anon was far from home. Surveying his surroundings, he noticed a small village, off in the distance. With few other options, he set off on on foot, hoping to find someone who could give him some answers. Sadly, he had no way of knowing what he would encounter.

It only took the man about half an hour, since departing from the field he had inexplicably found himself in, to reach his destination. As Anon approached the town, he spotted a handful of colorful creatures moving about. Doubtful of what he was seeing, and with his curiosity piqued, he continued onward. It wasn’t until he stepped onto the dusty road, which lead through the settlement, that he realized he was looking at horses. At least, that’s what he thought they were.

Each of the small equines was a different hue or tint, and their proportions didn’t look quite right. It was like they were a miniature parody of powerful steeds, yet the maintained their hallmark morphology. Making his way into the village, several of the creatures spotted him. A few bolted, scampering off to lord knows where, while others met his inquisitive gaze with their own questioning looks.

Numbly, Anon walked through the town. None of it felt real, from the oddly proportioned homes to the peculiar denizens of the hamlet. He’d begun to convince himself it was all some sort of dream, when he noted a pony making a beeline toward him. Well, she looked kinda like a pony, only one with somewhat cartoonish features. Anon watched, stopping in his tracks, as the tiny being drew nearer.

She, he assumed the horse was a she, wore a pair of gold framed spectacles and a jade colored jabot, below a white collar, over her chest. Her mane and tail were both snow white, with streaks of grey, over a soft-looking manila colored coat. Trotting forward, her face was impassive, and her steely blue eyes never wavered from from him.

Unsure of what to do, Anon held up a hand, while leaving the other to hang at his side. “Um...hello?” he called, trying his best to smile. Logically, if these creatures were capable of construction and socializing, they would have some manner of communication, but he had no earthly idea if they spoke english. Still, it was worth a shot. Upon hearing him talk, the pony stopped and cocked her head.

“Well, hello to you too,” the mare kindly greeted, mirroring his questioning smile. Her soft voice basically cemented that she was, in fact, a she. Well, that, and the fact that her name was a dead giveaway. “I’m Mayor Mare, welcome to Ponyville,” she added, stepping closer and extending a foreleg in his direction.

“I’m Anonymous, but most people just call me Anon,” the man responded, stooping down to shake the proffered hoof. Although he was surprised that they could communicate, he was tremendously relieved; the situation would have been exponentially more infuriating, if there wasn’t a way for him to freely interact with the lady. The pony, much like the other’s he’d seen, was relatively small. The tip of her head only came up to his stomach, with her withers reaching his upper thighs. His impromptu inspection was halted as she cleared her throat. “Oh, sorry,” he blurted, releasing her from his grip.

“So, Anon, what brings you to Ponyville?” the mare asked, peering up at him. Under normal circumstances, she’d have summoned Twilight for backup, but the Princess was away on a friendship mission. As such, she was left to greet the mysterious biped who’d just wandered into town. He looked friendly enough, even if his size was a bit imposing.

“I…” Anon paused, the crushing reality of everything suddenly bearing down upon him. His eyes darted about in panic, and his pulse raced. That was, until a hoof gently pressed against his leg. Glancing down, he noticed the mayor’s expression soften.

“It’s alright, if you don’t want to tell me,” the mayor quietly muttered. Despite the fact that she had no clue what was wrong, something was clearly troubling the man. “Would you like to come to my office? Maybe have a hot cup of tea,” she offered, attempting to console him. Even though it may not be much help, she would be remiss for simply ignoring Anon’s distress.

“Yeah...Yeah, that’d be nice,” Anon mumbled, the kind gesture alleviating some of his tension. If anything, the caffeine couldn’t hurt, not to mention being out of the open street. Standing to full height, as the mayor turned away, he was stricken with a perplexing question. “Mayor Mare, is that your name or just a title?” he inquired, walking beside the pony.

“Why, it’s my name, of course,” the mare cheerfully replied, looking over her shoulder at him. The man chuckled a bit, causing her pace to slow. “Is that an uncommon name?” she pressed, genuinely curious.

“Well, sort of? I mean, you’re a mayor, and a mare, so it’s just kind of ironic,” Anon asserted. “Don’t get me wrong, it’s sort of cute,” he quickly added, not wanting to offend her.

Tapping a hoof to her chin, the mayor thought for a moment. “You could call me May, if that’s a little more agreeable for you. It’s an old nickname of mine, from back when I was a filly,” she tittered. Sweet Celestia, it had been ages since anypony had called her that.

“Thanks...May,” Anon whispered. Grinning over at her, he couldn’t help but feel a modicum of comfort. Although he was in some far off and alien world, the mare’s warm words and friendly gesture were deeply comforting. Together, they walked through Ponyville, towards their destination.

“So,” May began, as they closed on a large, circular structure, “this is the Ponyville town hall, it’s where we conduct official city business.” She paused, looking over at him. “Do they have those where you’re from?”

Anon simply nodded, following her towards the building’s entryway. “Yeah, we have those on Earth. People go there to pay bills, get tax information, and all sorts of bureaucratic stuff,” he explained. Walking inside, he had to admit, he was impressed. The central room was roughly circular and open, likely for meetings or public events, and there were several curtained doorways leading to, what he assumed were, offices or supply closets.

“On occasion, we use the building for public events or rent it out for parties. Why, we’ve even had a hooffull of weddings in here!” May noted, beaming up at the man.

The comment about community events caused Anon to realize how barren the structure seemed. He didn’t see anyone else in the building or, for that matter, while they were making their way through town. “Where is everybody? I saw a few ponies when I was coming into the village, but nobody since,” he wondered aloud, turning his attention to the official.

Trotting towards her office, the mayor murmured, “Oh, well, they’re just a little shy, that’s all. It’s not every day that a tall... What were you again?”

“Human,” Anon absentmindedly answered, while continuing to examine the interior. The craftsmanship easily rivalled anything he’d seen on earth; polished hardwood floors, masterful carpentry and glasswork, and the curtains all seemed to be of exceptional quality. Even though he wasn’t sure how they managed to craft such things with hooves, the ponies had clearly managed to pull it off somehow. His guide stopped, drawing back a veil and revealing her work suite.

“Please, after you,” May intoned, nodding towards the interior. As he entered, she trotted in after him, moving toward a sink. “You can have a seat, I’ll get some tea started.”

“You don’t have an assistant for that sort of thing?” Anon inquired, easing himself into a leather sofa; despite it being on the petite side, he managed to sit comfortably. Her office was cozy, with a large desk, two chairs, as well as the couch he occupied. Maps adorned the walls, along with a few photos, and a countertop sat to one side of the room.

“Unfortunately, no. Raven, my previous aide, left to work for Princess Celestia several years ago. Since then, I’ve been handling everything myself, but I manage.” May filled a kettle and set it on a magical burner to boil. Snatching up a tin of shortbread cookies, a gift from Mrs. Cake, she trotted over to her guest. Hopping into a seat beside the davenport, and retrieving a treat for herself, she offered the container to the man.

Baffled, Anon watched his host manipulate the tiny confection in her hoof. “How do you do that?” he queried, taking a cookie and setting the tin on empty cushion next to himself. “We have horses where I’m from, but they can’t use their hooves like that, and they certainly can’t talk.”

After studying her hoof for a second, as if it was a foreign concept, the mayor turned to the man. “Honestly, I’ve never really given it much thought. Earth ponies, like myself, have some modicum of dexterity, but nothing compared to the finely tuned sorcery of unicorn magic,” she said, noting a surprised look in his eye.

“Wait, there are unicorns here too?” Anon blurted, sending crumbs over his shirt. As if talking ponies wasn’t mystifying enough, apparently unicorns existed within this realm as well.

“Mmmhmm,” May hummed, “we also have pegasi, zebras, changelings, yaks, hippogriffs, griffons, and a whole host of other intelligent creatures. I presume they don’t have such things where you’re from?” She giggled, attentive of his slack jawed expression.

Anon slowly shook his head. “No. Well, kind of. A few of those exist in myths and legends, but nothing more than that,” he responded, mulling the concept over. Digesting the information, he opted to continue their conversation on a more mundane note. “So, how long have you been the Mayor?”

The two sat for hours, asking questions of one another of their perspective worlds. Left undisturbed, they whiled away the day, only stopping when the light through the window began to dim. Admittedly, Anon found much of what the mayor said outlandish, yet he couldn’t argue with what he was hearing. There he was, in an office, amiably chatting with a small talking horse. He supposed she was just as confounded by his stories of advanced technology and space travel, so, in a sense, they were on equal footing with each other.

Glancing outside, the mare took stock of the afternoon sun. “Anon, seeing as how you don’t have anywhere to stay tonight, and Twilight Sparkle has yet to return, you can use my spare bedroom. It may not be much, but it’ll be a roof over your head for the night.”

“But what about your husband or your family?”

“I’m single, and live alone, so you have nothing to worry about,” May laughed, moving to her guest’s side and fetching his emptied teacup.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to assume,” Anon quickly replied. “If you’re alright with it, sure, but I don’t want to be a burden.” He couldn’t say for certain, but he thought he’d detected a subtle shift in her tone. Still, knowing he wouldn’t need to sleep outdoors was a tremendous weight off his shoulders.

“It’s no trouble at all. Twilight should be back tomorrow, and I’m sure she’ll be able to help. After all, she is one of the smartest ponies I’ve ever met,” Ms. Mare explained, crossing to the counter and an empty serving tray.

“Just be sure to tell me if you need any help. I mean, if you’re letting me stay with you, feel free to put me to work,” he added, walking up behind the equine and setting the tin of cookies on the countertop. Without thinking, while he was studying a map of Equestria, he ran his fingers through her mane. The action was almost instinctual, considering he’d always had a fondness for animals, but had an immediate effect. The mare stiffened, nearly dropping a china saucer, as his digits gently combed through her hair. Feeling her jump, Anon realized he’d made a mistake, and he instantly retracted his hand. “I...I’m sorry, I…”

“It’s...it’s alright, really,” May said, holding up a hoof. “Just warn me next time,” she chuckled. Breaking eye contact, she finished with cleaning up from their tea. Given the fact that they’d been chatting for most of the day, and she hadn’t had lunch, she was getting rather hungry. Peering over to a wall clock, and noting the town hall would be closing in just a few hours, the mayor came to a decision. “I’m going to close early today, since you showed up on Ponyville’s doorstep. I figure I could walk you around town, maybe introduce you to a few fine citizens. Well, if they’re brave enough, that is,” she huffed, somewhat annoyed that nopony had come to check on her.

“Sure, that sounds great. I wouldn’t mind meeting some people, er, ponies,” Anon corrected, rubbing his neck. He could already tell, he was going to have a heck of a time adjusting to that.

Ms. Mare walked to the curtain, covering her doorway, and reached to pull it aside. It felt odd, how she wore such little attire; only adorned with the jabot, collar, and her glasses. May had explained that, while ponies did occasionally wear clothes, exceptionally few did so on a regular basis. Those that did often had some nearly spiritual connect with the garment or garments, almost like they were a defining character trait. ‘Just one more thing I’ll need to get used to,’ Anon thought to himself, following her out.

After locking the town hall, Mayor Mare walked Anon through the streets of her village. As they went, she pointed out various businesses and homes, noting what services were available and who lived where. Spying Pinkie Pie trotting out of Sugarcube Corner, May smiled to herself. If anypony was always eager to make a new friend, it would be her. “Pinkie!” she called, waving the violently pink pony over. Hearing her shout, the bouncy earth pony excitedly hopped over.

“Hey, Mayor Mare. Who’s this? He kinda looks like a diamond dog, but not as smelly. Maybe a storm beast? No, not hairy enough for that,” Pinkie prattled on, broadcasting various conjectures and guesses as to exactly who and what Anon was.

“Pinkie,” May calmly yet firmly tutted, “this is Anon. He’s a human. He’ll be in a town for a little while.” Running into Pinkie was a massive stroke of luck. Although she was hyper energetic, she was very close friends with Twilight Sparkle; they even taught at the School of Friendship together, so she’d be sure the purple alicorn would soon hear about the human’s arrival.

Anon squatted down, bringing himself to her eye level, and extended a hand. “Nice to meet you,” he greeted. Pinkie Pie was unlike anything he’d ever seen before. She was roughly the same size as the Mayor, but was an extremely bright pink color, as her name implied. Her mane and tail almost looked like they were made of cotton candy, and her eyes were a brilliant blue. Having expected a hand/hoof shake, he was nearly toppled backward, as the energetic mare gave him a hug. Catching himself, he reluctantly wrapped one arm around the girl. It may have been his imagination, but she even smelled like candy.

“Gee, you’re a pretty good hugger. I’ll give you a six out of eight,” Pinkie tittered, wriggling out of his grasp. “I’ve got to go get some more confectioner’s sugar for Mr. and Mrs. Cake. Hey, Anon,” she shouted, springing away, “stop by the bakery for a free cupcake. Tell ‘em it’s on me!” With that, she skipped into the distance.

“Wow, she’s friendly,” Anon mused, beginning to stand back up. That was, until his guide cleared her throat.

Mayor Mare smiled, as faces slowly appeared within windows and through cracked open doorways. Having seen the strange creature speaking with and receiving a hug from Pinkie Pie, the denizens of Ponyville had been reassured he wasn’t a threat. It wasn’t that they were scared of him, they just needed a bit of encouragement. Witnessing her walking along with Anon had helped, but watching him get embraced by the element of laughter, was on a magnitude higher than she could have hoped for. As citizens crept from their homes, their curiosity overriding their hesitation, May looked up to the man. “Might want to get comfortable,” she beamed, noticing a myriad of ponies moving in their direction.

Watching as Anon was greeted by the residents of Ponyville, Mayor Mare grinned. Despite the man’s outlandish appearance, nearly everypony shook his hand or offered him a welcoming hug. While Anon had seemed somewhat hesitant at first, she noticed something rather interesting. As the ponies came and went, cheerfully questioning him or simply giving a fond hello, his expression steadily shifted. His reluctance and confusion transitioned into one of outright contentment, leaving him to beam upon the colorful equines of the village. After the better part of an hour passed, she cleared her throat, and stepped forward. “Alright, everypony. I’m sure Anon is quite tired from his trip and could use a bit of rest. Sweetie Belle,” she called, turning her attention to the tiny filly, “if you could let your sister know we’ll be needing her services for a rather unique project, I’d be most appreciative.”

The young mare nodded enthusiastically. “I’ll tell her as soon as she’s back,” she chirped, galloping off, with Apple Bloom and Scootaloo in tow, towards the Carousel Boutique.

Anon stood, waving goodbye to the friendly ponies as they began to disperse. “They really are nice,” he sighed, turning his attention to the mayor. Never in his life, had he received such a heartfelt greeting. Heck, on earth, he was lucky if people even acknowledged him walking into a room. He’d never had all that many friends, so the warmth and affection of the ponies, while unexpected, was quite refreshing.

“I have some salad and pasta, at home. If you’d like, you’re welcome to some,” May yawned, feeling a bit worn out herself. While it hadn’t been a particularly taxing day, the lengthy conversation and excitement of Anon’s arrival had left her feeling slightly drained. Couple that with the fact that she hadn’t had a proper meal since breakfast, and she was pretty well spent. She wasn’t a filly anymore, and often found herself tiring easier than she used to. “Come on, we don’t have far to go,” she added, trotting past the man.

Anon followed, unable to shake the silly grin from his face. In a matter of minutes, they’d approached a quaint cottage. The structure had a split-shingle roof, unlike a great many other houses in town. The exterior walls, each a cream colored plaster, were reinforced with timber supports. The small yard was decorated with a small flower bed, sitting just below a window.

All told, it didn’t stand out all that much, but it had a certain charm to it, much like Mayor Mare herself. His guide let herself in and held the door for him. Stepping inside, he was greeted with a cozy home, which smelled faintly of sandalwood. As he surveyed the living room, May trotted through a doorway to his left.

“I’ll heat us up some supper. There’s a guest room just beside mine, through the door on your right. Just make yourself at home, I’ll call once it’s ready,” May remarked, pulling a large bowl of mixed salad greens from the refrigerator. The sound of footfalls caused her to turn, and she found Anon looming behind her.

“You’ve already done so much, let me help,” Anon stated, peering into the fridge. Spying a covered bowl of noodles, he stooped low and reached past the mare. Glancing over, with his face next to hers, their eyes briefly met. Their color was stunning, a mix of piercing blue and deep violet. They stood there, staring at each other, for only a moment, but it felt much longer. “Sorry, sorry,” he muttered, shaking his head and freeing himself from his trance. Grabbing the pasta, Anon withdrew. “You just have really pretty eyes, I didn’t mean to stare or anything,” he grumbled, hoping he hadn’t come off as creepy.

“You’re just saying that,” May dismissively noted, carrying the bowl of mixed greens to the table.

“No, really! I’ve never seen a woman, or anyone, with eyes like yours!” Anon asserted, looking around for a way to heat their meal.

“My eye color isn’t that uncommon, but your compliment warms this old mare’s heart. Oh, you can use the oven, Dear, just turn that center knob to six,” the mayor responded to his unasked question, pointing towards her stove. Returning to the fridge, she looked to her condiments. “I have thousand island, red wine vinaigrette, and catalina dressing, which one would you like?” she asked.

“Thousand island, please,” Anon replied, setting the pasta to warm. It barely registered that Equestria had several of the same salad dressings as Earth, but he wasn’t too surprised. They spoke the same language, had similar construction methods for buildings, and their society was comparable to his own. The oven hummed, heating almost instantly, as he turned the dial. Whatever was powering the thing was impressive, to say the least. While he waited, he turned and rested on the counter. “As for your little remark, you can’t be that old,” he commented.

“Please, I’m old enough to be most of Ponyville’s mother,” May chuckled. As she piled some of the greens in their bowls, she stopped, when Anon spoke up.

“Could’ve fooled me, you’re just as cute as any of those other ponies. And I didn’t see any of them coming out to greet me, when I first walked into town, so you score extra points for bravery,” he grinned, peeking at their dinner. His hunger grew exponentially, when he smelled the tomatoey sauce.

“I…” May started, her eyes wandering over to the man. She really wasn’t sure how to react to his assertion. Nopony had complimented her like that in years, so she was caught on a back hoof. “Y...you’re just saying that…” she finally murmured, turning her attention back to her salad.

“No, I really mean it,” Anon assuredly shot back, looking around for an oven mitt or cloth. From the looks of it, the pasta was already heated, even though it had only been a minute. After moving a trivet from the counter to the table, he snatched up a washcloth to carry the pot of noodles. Setting the small vat down, Anon seated himself. “Shoot, you got a fork?” he groaned, realizing he didn’t have any silverware.

Mayor Mare nodded and pointed over to a drawer. “Just over there,” she instructed, still mulling over his words. Although it was likely unintentional, the flattery was pleasantly surprising. It wasn’t often she had guests, and most ponies in town saw her as more of a motherly figure, so Anon’s words were deeply appreciated. Strange biped or not, they brought a smile to her face.

As the man moved to fetch a fork, she studied him move. By and large, bipeds were rather rare in Equestria, and she’d only ever dealt with a hoofful herself. Anon did possess a certain grace, unlike the scant few dragons she’d dealt with, and he wasn’t unattractive. Lacking a snout, he had a relatively smooth face, with a tiny nose and strong chin. If nothing else, he was certainly a curious and amiable creature, though a perplexing one.

Retrieving a utensil, Anon then returned to the table. They were both quite hungry, so their meal passed in relative silence. “You know, this is pretty good,” he complimented, finishing the final bite from his plate. While he hadn’t seen any traces of meat in the dish, it was rich and filling.

“Thanks. Old family recipe,” May said. Wiping her mouth with a napkin, she went to stand, but stopped as Anon walked over.

“No, I got it,” Anon tutted, patting her shoulder. Snatching up her dirty dishes, he crossed to the sink, before washing them clean. They’d be easier to wash now, as opposed to letting the sauce cool and harden. “So,” he called over his shoulder, “what do you do for fun? You know, after work.”

“Not much. I’m terribly boring. Most afternoons I’ll read or simply go for a walk, although I do occasionally go bowling,” the mayor answered, watching the man.

“Hey, maybe we could go bowling, sometime. Or maybe go on a picnic,” Anon mused. After rinsing out the final salad bowl, he turned to his host. “The picnic would probably be the best option, since I’m flat broke,” he chuckled. While he hadn’t thought about it earlier, he realized he’d likely need some form of income. The ponies were friendly and all, sure, but they probably wouldn’t be too fond of him being a mooch. “Say,” Anon began, rubbing his chin, “you wouldn’t know anywhere that’s hiring, would you?”

“Well, perhaps you could be my assistant at the town hall. The position has been vacant since Raven left, and nopony has really expressed an interest,” May thought aloud. “How good are you with organizing and taking notes?” she inquired.

“Decent enough, I guess. I can clean, sort stuff, basically do whatever,” Anon explained, stifling a yawn.

“I don’t see harm in giving you a shot, but we can discuss it in the morning. For now, I’m going to shower and crawl into bed,” May announced, trotting off to the bathroom. “I’ll be sure to leave a spare towel for you. Just hang it up, once you’re finished,” she instructed.

“Will do, Boss,” Anon saluted, watching the mare disappear from sight. It didn’t take him long to finish with the dishes, drying them off and stacking them in a neat pile by the sink. Walking into the living room, he browsed a bookshelf, while he waited for his turn to shower. Various mystery and romance novels lined the shelves, as well as a few history books. Selecting one entitled The Sister’s Fall Anon made his way towards the guest bedroom. Just as he entered the hallway, the bathroom door opened, and Mayor Mare emerged. He stopped, taking in the sight before him. May’s mane and tail were still damp, limply hanging in place, as opposed to their lively and frizzy earlier state. Freed from her collar and jabot, she was fully nude; which was odd, considering she was basically naked from the time he met her.

“Oh, excuse me,” May blurted, stepping back. Peering up at him, she squinted. Granted, she wasn’t wearing her glasses, but it almost looked like the man was blushing. Dismissing it as a figment of her imagination, she sauntered by. “There’s a towel near the sink, Dear,” she added, escaping into her room.

“Thanks,” he acknowledged, watching the pony pass. His eyes wandered from her face, over her back, and to her rump. It wasn’t that he was into animals or anything, but there was something alluring about her. The way her muscles glided against each other, beneath her coat of cream colored fur, her graceful movements, and her captivating eyes. As stupid as it sounded, she was actually more than just cute. For all intents and purposes, she was a person, she just didn’t look like the ones he was used to dealing with. He’d never had much luck with women, but May seemed to tolerate him well enough. Sure, it was probably pity, yet he’d made her laugh.

Hopping into the shower, Anon was left to ponder on the subject. It’s not like he’d ever given any thought to equine relations, although he hadn’t ever talked with a pony either. Before he knew it, he was cleaned up, but there was a problem. He only had the one pair of clothes, which he’d left on the sink, so changing into something fresh would be impossible. With a groan, he reached out of the shower for his towel, and felt it pressed into his hand.

“Here you go,” May said, handing him the cloth. “I threw your garments in the wash, so they should be clean by morning.

Anon’s heart nearly froze, upon seeing the mayor standing there. Fortunately, the shower curtain was semi-transparent, so she couldn’t make out any of the finer details of his anatomy. “T...thanks,” he stuttered, taking the towel and quickly wrapping it around himself.

Mayor Mare nodded and turned to leave. “Just get me if you need anything. Have a good night, Anon,” she declared, moving off to her room. While she had only intended to wash his clothes, she’d been a bit curious about Anon’s features. There was something charming about the man, although she couldn’t quite put her hoof on it, and she was inquisitive about what lie beneath his apparel. Hopping up to her bed, and beneath a light sheet, she curled up for the evening.

Now without anything to wear, Anon grunted in frustration. Wrapping the damp towel around his waist, he found the guest bedroom and let himself in. Though it was spartanly decorated, it would do. A bed sat on the far wall, with a simple dresser on one side, and a nightstand on the other. The temperature wasn’t cold, so the thin cover on the mattress would suffice. Draping the towel over a bedpost, Anon made himself comfortable. All things considered, the situation could be much, much worse, so he took comfort in that. Still, he had to wonder what the next day would bring…