Author's Note

Warning: There is some religious context within this chapter. Please note that it does not reflect my religious viewpoints, nor is there any intent to offend anyone who practices the religions mentioned. Enjoy.

Chapter III

[Canterlot - Celestia's POV]

I reread the letter twice to ensure I wasn't misreading anything. However, I knew Twilight would never joke about something of this magnitude. I put the message away for safekeeping and marched out of my study. My guards were startled and followed behind me. None of them said a word about their charge's serious expression. But they knew something grave must've happened if I was this focused. On the way, I brush past Raven Inkwell, my most trusted advisor and friend. She was undoubtedly there to call the princess back from recess, but something more urgent than cuddling to nobles had come up. Raven stumbled to catch up while trying to gain my attention. However, I pressed onward while giving her commands.

"Raven. I want all my meetings for today canceled, and yes, that includes day court!"

Raen's eyes went wide at this. "B-but Princess--"

"I will deal with the nobility on a later date. Now is a matter of national security! Guards! I want one of you to inform Captain Armor to prepare a small contingent of guards. I want them in the throne room within the hour! Also, notify Princess Cadance and tell her to come to Princess Luna's quarters!"

"Yes, princess!" The guards said as they broke off in the other direction of the castle.

Raven was a stuttering mess. "P-Princess! What's happened? Where are we going?"

"An old species of barbarians I thought was rid of this world has resurfaced. I won't divulge any more information without the presence of my sister. I want you to prepare a press release. I want this situation controlled and contained before my subjects or other nations realize the potential danger!"

"Y-yes, your highness, but can you please elaborate on the danger? I can't organize a press conference without details!"

I said nothing as I continued my stride. The two of us reached the Lunar wing of the castle in no time as I made my way to Luna's room. The guards posted there wisely stepped aside after one look at my features. Inkwell and I entered the dwelling of the night princess. Luna was there sleeping on her rounded bed. I allowed myself a small sigh as I went to wake my sister. Luna was still recuperating from the effects of her cleansing at the hands of the elements. As such, her form was still diminutive. I went over and vigorously shook Luna awake. The princess of the night's response was one of understanding.

"Hath thou lost thy inner faculties, sister! Why doth thee rouse us from mine slumber!?" Much time has passed for the world and Equestria, but she was still speaking in the old tongue for Luna. Her banishment left her detached from everyone we once knew - and while I will do Everything to ensure she can assimilate to modern times - we must focus on the present.

"Sister! An urgent matter occurred in Ponyville! That requires our immediate attention!"

Luna gave me a questioning glare as she sat up. "Pray to tell sister; what has thee so startled that you would seek our council. Doth this urgency comes from the disturbance we felt? Hath thine elements locate the source," Luna asked.

"Yes, sister. A mansion materialized within Ponyville. How it got there, I do not know. However, Twilight informed me of what lurks inside it,"

"What is that, sister?" Luna asks, a perplexed expression adorning her muzzle.

"Twilight reports that A primordial equine - our great ancestors - dwells within its walls. I wish there were more to this discovery, but Twilight also reported coming under assault,"

Luna's eyes narrow at this. "That is most troubling. Wait! Thou stated that the elements came under assault?" I nodded in response. "Who art the aggressors?"

"You will not know this because of your banishment..." I paused as I saw Luna's ears flatten against her skull. It was a swearing topic for both of us. "But a new species appeared seemingly from the ether. They were peaceful at first until their true nature revealed itself. Horrible acts of violence that would make even a dragon reel back in shock and terror-"

"Doth does protest too much, sister..." I blushed as I realized I was projecting. Some snickering to my side told me that Raven also found it assuming. "We are from the old world. Horror and barbarism ran rampant back in those times. However, thou neglect to name said species with all thou posturing,"

I suppose there is no sense in delaying the inevitable. "These beings are known as humans, Luna," Luna's reaction was one I expected. She arches her brow in confusion. However, Raven had dropped her quill and ink all over the ground. Looking over at her, I saw her hand covering her mouth while abstract horror displayed in her eyes.

Luna notices this as well and asks a question. "What makes those hoo-mans so fearsome that the mere mention of their name strikes terror within their assistant?"

"Ordinary, a human would seem unassuming. They cannot fly nor perform magic, such as unicorns and pegasi. I would debate that they are more on par with Earth ponies in terms of strength and endurance,"

"So what maketh them so deadly? Thine description seldom warrants such boast as more savage then dragons,"

"It is their ingenuity and adaptability. A few thousand came to our lands, and they built a settlement for themselves in as little as two years. They possessed a better understanding of societal structuring than most species did at the time,"

"Surely thou sought them out for the betterment of Equestria? Where did things go awry?"

"They followed three religions with rigorous vigor and fanatically believed it in the words of their scripture. It became apparent that humans didn't agree regarding their interpretation of God. There were disagreements, discourse, and finally, war. But to fight a war, they needed soldiers, and that's when they began forcing others to fight their holy war," I paused as I shuddered. Distant memories began to resurface. "Anywho opposed the bloodshed found themselves labeled a heretic in their eyes. For those unlucky souls, death was mercy, so they were subject to atrocities the humans deemed as 'divine punishment.' There was no reasoning. There was no bargaining. To the humans, you would either convert to their faith or die a slow and agonizing death!" I hung my head down while shutting my eyes. "It baffles me, Luna. How can a species preach unity, yet their actions show a level of chaos that Discord himself couldn't conceive? The way that they fought. It's as if death and destruction were all that they know!"

I heard shuffling from Luna's bed as she stood up. Her eyes narrowed down to slits as she spoke. "Verily, sister. We shall see these humans!"

It warms my heart to see Luna with such resolve. I wasn't applied to violence, but there was no other choice. "Raven. Please have that public address ready by the time we return,"

"Yes, princess, and good luck," Raven said, leaving the room. Cadence and a pair of guards came in after Raven's departure.

"Captain Shining Armor is awaiting your arrival, your majesties,"

"Auntie? What's going on here? Why is the castle on alert?" My niece asks.

"I will explain Everything on the way to the throne, Cadence. Come, Luna. We must depart," I said, turning and exiting the room. Luna and Cadance followed close behind, as did the guards.

[Ponyville - Sheriff's jailhouse - Juliet's POV]

"Ow, where am I?" I groaned while rubbing my head. I sat up from my bed and winced as I looked at my arm. I had a bandage on my shoulder. "How did this get here?"

"The purple one did that to you," I turned around to find my brothers sitting in a cage with Xavier and Walter. Angie was with me, along with Cece and Nattie.

Confused, I looked around to see that I was also in a cage. "Why are we in a holding cell?"

"Oh! A bunch of furries broke into our house and kidnapped us," Donnie said, draping his arms through the bars.

I blanched at that. "Furries? Come on, Donnie. We're in a serious situation!"

"I am afraid Donatello speaks the truth, Ms. Crews," Walter said, walking up to the bars. I looked at Walter, who is always a source of logic and reason, like losing his marbles! "Moments before the power came back. I grasped the purple one - as Sir Donatello aptly stated - by her hands. However, it was a foreleg and hoof, much like May. There is no mistake. These 'people' are not humans,"

All of us were silent at Walter's explanation until Angie had her theory. "You spiked those cinnamon buns, didn't you?"

"What!? No!!!" I can't believe her!

"I don't know, sis. I was feeling queasy during dinner. I didn't want to say anything bad to spare your feelings," Donnie teased.

"Urgh! Leo! Back me up!" I turned to my eldest brother. He was always so sweet to me and often sided with me when Donnie was a jerk. So imagine my surprise when he looks between us and turns his head to the door! "LEO!!!"

"That's fucked, getting minors toked up on weed buns," Angie jokes.

"No, swearing!" Cece told us. All of us looked back at her before we burst out laughing. It was great, laughing like this. It was almost as if we weren't in a bizarre situation.

However, Xavier noticed Nattie was quiet. "Is there something wrong, Natalya?" He asks.

She began weaving her hands to communicate. "Grandma is in the house by herself..." Our eyes went wide when we realized it was the truth. "Are they going to put her in jail too?"

"Don't worry, Natalya. Our grandmother isn't-"

*SLAM*

That was when the door flew open, and several armored equines walked inside. They all had bright gold armor that shone even in the limited light. I can't imagine why they would wear gold for armor. Honestly, it's like we stepped into a king Arthur fantasy. It must be some weird collective dream we're sharing. But the bandage on my arm says different. Their leader was the only one wearing a different set. I guess he stood in front of the line of soldiers and stared forward. I was a little nervous when he looked at me. These horse people gave us some mean looks that I didn't like, especially regarding Cece and Nattie.

(I like this armor. )

I backed up and brought Cece and Nattie closer to me. However, the leader didn't like that. "No sudden moves!" After he spoke, the other guards drew their weapons at us. But the strangest part was when the horn glowed atop the horse people's head while others flared out their wings. We all cringed at this, which only made me bring the twins closer to me. "I said, stay where you are now!!!"

"You're pointing your weapons at a pair of kids. I'm not moving until you stop!" I told him. He frowns in response.

"Your actions are unwarranted. We are already in your custody. So treating your unarmed prisoners like this is immoral!" Xavier stated. I think he was the only person trying to stay calm right now. But I could see him keeping his hand behind his back while making gestures. 'Keep them safe!'

"Yeah, there's no need to make human kababs of us. We're all well-behaved..." Donnie pauses as he looks over to Angie. She had this dead look in her eye like a shadow was casting over her forehead while she glared at the knights. "Most of us, anyway,"

"Bite me!" Angie responded but never took her eyes off the horse people.

"Listen to the monkeys preach about morality," One of the other horsemen spat.

"They're nothing but hypocrites! Look at the red-maned one! She is practically waiting to bite our throats out!"

Angie smirked at that and made the situation a lot worse. "Why stop there? You got plenty of meat that I could rip off!"

The guards all tensed up and took stances. It's crazy! If they attack us, then we can't avoid it. "Let's dispose of them now and save the princess the trouble!"

"How are they even holding their weapons with no hands!?" Donnie whispered rather loudly to Leo. Leo responds by elbowing his arm and silencing him,

Cece and Nattie started trembling at their words. Donnie, Leo, Angie, and Xavier took a step forward. My brothers were nervous. Donnie was tapping his foot while Leo tightened his fists. These knights, or whatever they were, were getting more restless. "These remarks and actions are an abysmal showing of discipline, good sir," Walter said while approaching the bars, looking the leader dead in his eyes. "I don't know you, but I can summarize that you come from military discipline. Look at your group. They are rash, prejudiced, violent prone, and don't adhere to protocol,"

"Silence, monkey!!!" One of the knights screamed before slamming his spear against the bars. I pulled the twins even closer now. Walter, to his credit, just stood there with his hands behind his back. I couldn't see his face, but I could tell he didn't bat an eye at that display.

"Thank you for proving my point,"

All the other knights began screaming and shouting obscenities at us until the leader spoke up. "Enough! Maintain order. Don't let a few snide remarks get under your fur! You are the solar unit of her majesty's royal guard! Act like it!" Thankfully, he walks up to the bars and glares into Walter's eyes. "I am Captain Shining Armor--"

"Psh! Shining Armor? That's a little on the nose, don't you think?" Donnie joked. Sometimes I wish I had an off button for him. It also didn't help that almost everyone started snickering at that ridiculous name. Myself included.

Shining Armor grunted in annoyance before continuing. "For the foreseeable future, you are under detainment--"

"On what grounds?" Xavier asks, cutting Shining Armor off. None of the solar guards liked that, but Xavier didn't stop. "What possible crimes have we committed to warrant a lengthy prison stay!?" Xavier was not happy. I wasn't pleased with the teaching of rotting in a cell, either.

"There is a long list that I am sure you will want to hear,"

A new voice called said. We turned back into the door as more ponies came inside. It was the same ponies and lizard man that kidnapped us. But three new ponies led them inside. The three of them had traits from all three types of ponies, so I assume they are the ones these guards answer. Since there are unicorns here, I think these two ponies are alicorns. However, one of them looks like a teenager. She had blue fur with a sky-blue hair color. She wears a black dress connected to a clasp over her neck. On that neck brace was a crescent moon. Her eyes went wide when she saw us. Then they returned to a blank stare. The pink one looked like she was in her early twenties. She had a look of pure shock when she saw us. Her dress was a purple strapless with a crystal heart resting over her breast. Herr mane - had a three-tone die of purple, yellow, and pink.

The other pony was the tallest person in the room. She had white fur, and an article of clothing similar to one, except her dress was a yellow, single strap with a blem draped over her right shoulder. For some reason, her hair was constantly shifting in a wavey motion. It was like this pony had a blow dryer in front of her face. Like the pink alicorn, she had a three-tone die consisting of aquamarine, cherry pink, and blue. But that wasn't her only distinctive feature. Usually, I don't fuss about women's endowments, but this alicorn was hard to ignore. All of these girls had killer figures. But you could tell the white one stood at the top of the beauty standard people would have. How does she walk with two melons weighing her down? I hope she has a good back massager. I could tell everyone else was thinking the same thing. Walter, Xavier, and Leo kept constant eye contact, which was challenging given that this pony was a head taller than they were. Donnie hadn't stopped gaping since she walked in, and Angie sucked her teeth while muttering something under her breath. I think it was 'fucking sow' or something. Even I glanced down at my chest under my sweater. But I was so busy with my self-appraisal that I missed Cece walking up upfront.

"Wow! Look at her milk duds! She's extra THICC!!!" Cece exclaimed.

"!" I covered my hand against my mouth. All the ponies and the dragon's mouths fell open.

Angie and Donnie were biting their lips desperately, trying to keep from laughing. Leo arches a brow in confusion while Xavier and Walter look mortified. "Cecelia! Where did you learn such a phrase!?" Xavier scolded.

Cece merely points to Donnie, who is frantically waving his hands to stop her. "I heard Donnie say a couple of times while reading his magazines!" I quickly pulled her back to me while shooting my brother a dirty look. We'll have words if we come out of this, alright?

[Cadance POV]

I couldn't believe what I had heard at the moment. I didn't know what extra THICC meant, but I could tell from the context that what human filly just said was wildly inappropriate! Auntie Celestia must've guessed the same since her cheeks were sporting a hot flush of embarrassment. I was about to say something when I heard a sound coming from Auntie Luna.

"Urk!" She was holding her breath until she hunched over and started laughing. "Thine wisdom proceeds thee human filly! Truly. Mine, sister, milk duds as you calleth them, are bountiful!!!"

"Hm...!" Auntie Celestia grunted as her face grew redder.

"Princess Luna. There is nothing with top-heavy mares!" I puffed my chest to emphasize my point.

"Indeed, dearest niece. The issue stems not from thine bosom sister but thy rump. A backside as plentiful as Celestia's will crush the pelvis of many a stallion! Is it not so, Captain?" Even I started to blush at the comments Auntie Luna was making.

"I think--" Shining said.

"Bro. Let me stop you right there. That's a trick question. You'll never get the answer, right!" Donnie said. This time, the human mare holding the fillies pulled the blonde-maned human stallion by his ear. "OW!!! Leo! Julie's hurting me! She is pulling my ear!!!" I couldn't help but giggle at their antics.

"Nonsense! We desire to heareth your opinion, sir captain," Luna insisted.

"Yeah, let's hear it, captain," The red-maned human mare said.

"I want to know as well," I stated. Was that mean and unfair? Maybe, but a mare likes to be reaffirmed by the stallion they are courting. Now poor Shiny started sweating. He started looking to his guards for help, but nopony was backing him. Thankfully, Auntie Celestia steps in for him.

"ENOUGH!!!!" All of us covered our ears from the amplified sound of Aunty's voice. The Royal Canterlot Voice was suitable for addressing large crowds but bad for tight, crowded spaces. The humans looked surprised by Auntie's volume.

"What the fuck are you, a walking blowhorn!?" The red-mane human mare said. Honestly, she is insulting.

Auntie Celestia steps forward with a stern look in her eye. No, it was worse than seeing disapproval, but I couldn't place it. "I am Princess Celestia! And if this little exchange has taught me anything, it is that you humans are still a plague to the land of Equestria!"

"That's a broad assumption for people you've just met," The silver-maned human stallion said. "What exactly makes you the expert on humanity?"

"As if you and your cronies don't know!" Rainbow spoke up. They've been quiet up till now.

"Isn't that why they asked, Dashie?" Pinkie asked.

"PINKIE!!!" Everyone on our side scolded her.

This time, Twilight steps up. "The number of human atrocities stem from vicious public beating, hanging, drowning, rape, mutilation, death by burning at the cross, beheading--"

"Twilight. That's enough!" I said while holding back the bile rising in my mouth. At the same time, I noticed many humans appear disturbed by what Twilight is listed. It was an odd reaction because humans delight in hearing their cruelty.

Leo, the tall blonde human - if I heard right - walks up with a frown of his own. "So, we're automatically guilty by association?"

"You can't be serious!" Julie spoke next. "Everyone is different! You can't judge us based on the crimes of others!"

"If you raise a timberwolf as a pet, is it less likely to maul you in your sleep?" Rarity said.

"What's a timberwolf?" Cecelia asked.

"You're comparing us to a wild animal? You looked in the mirror lately, horse girl!" The red-maned human said.

Rarity flinched back like the human mare slapped her. "It's that sort of rude behavior that proves our point. You're nothing but uncivilized brutes!"

Things were starting to get out of hand. I was about to say something before the silver-maned human spoke again. "Uncivilized? Personality quirks aside, if anyone is uncultured, it is you and your group. You talk about our crimes, something you had failed to list since the beginning when you committed several severe crimes minutes ago," The silver-maned human said. I was curious about what they did. From the looks of their clothing, the guards pulled them out of bed.

"Hey! We didn't break any laws!" Spike firmly stated. The girls nodded in agreement.

The human looks at Spike as he holds up his hand. "You broke into our home: breaking/entering. The criminal act of entering a residence or other enclosed property with the slightest force (even pushing open a door) without authorization. Generally, that misdemeanor is punishable by less than a year in prison. However, it is also a crime that can change into a felony depending on the aggravating factors,"

"What factors are those? And what is a felony?" Shining asked. Unsurprisingly, he's interested since it is his job to uphold the law. I don't believe we have crimes listed in these categories. Twilight was also taking notes, summoning a quill and paper as she recorded Everything.

"The factors include damages to any property inside the residence--"

"Yeah! Those two ate the cheesecake out of the fridge!" Cecelia said, pointing at Applejack and Pinkie Pie.

"Now, wait an apple-bucking minute! That cake was already on the floor when we got there!" Applejack said. "Even when Pinkie ate it, Y'all want to explain why it was there in the first place?"

The silver-maned human looked down at his sister, I'm guessing, with an arched brow. "Cecelia. Natalya?"

"It wasn't us, Xavier. Donnie did it!" Cecelia said quickly before joining Julie again. Donnie just looked at her with his mouth wide open.

"I did not!!!"

Ignoring Donnie's response - we should've asked for their names first - Celestia spoke. "I'd hardly call this alleged cake theft aggravating factors,"

"Surely, you jest, sister!" Luna commented, but a look from Celestia told her to drop it.

"No. But these bandages on our person more than suggest physical harm," Xavier said, showing us the bandages on his wrist. Twilight cringed at sight. She did say they suffered mana burns from her spell. "That previous misdemeanor now shifts into burglary, which is a felony. In criminal law, a felony is the most severe offense punishable by more than one year in prison. In that regard, burglary is when someone intends to commit theft after illegally entering the premises. However, any unlawful entry onto a property to commit any crime - such as assault or rape - constitutes burglary," The girls and Spike looked tensed. Xavier then puts up another digit. "That is one charge of felony. Another is assault and battery. Now assault charges are only the threat of physical harm. Battery charges are the threat and the presence of physical injury," Xavier made another point of showing his burns as evidence.

"That may be so, but the intent has to be clear, and my friends and I didn't arrive to harm any of you!" Twilight argued.

"That doesn't cut it, purple smart," Donnie's said, making Twilight blush angrily at the nickname. "The threat of harm comes from that cone on your forehead. You're just lucky no died, or that would've been manslaughter,"

"What's manslaughter?" I asked.

"That's when you make an oopsie that gets someone marked off!" The red mane human mare said. It sounded like she was making a joke, but none of us caught it. She sighs while explaining herself. "That's when you kill someone by accident," We all blanched at that while the human smirked. "But you could still be tagged for attempted manslaughter. That little light show did knock us out. Who knows what might be wrong with us,"

While the girls were starting to panic, Celestia seemed to catch something. "Correct me if I am wrong, but this manslaughter charge sounds rigorous. But since it involves death, you would have to be either dead or near-death for it to fall under attempted manslaughter. But since you are neither, that charge is dismissed," It was good to see that smug smirk disappear from this human's face. Satisfied, Auntie turns back to Xavier. "I am assuming there is more?"

"There is also kidnapping — The crime of unlawfully seizing and carrying away a person by force or Fraud, or seizing and detaining a person against his or her will with an intent to carry that person away at a later time," Xavier spreads his arms out to gesture to the jailhouse. "You have us detained in a different location from our home against our will. There are currently eight counts in a case of said kidnapping. One count adds to a year for the overall prison term. Kidnapping is punishable by up to twenty-five years in prison!"

"Twenty-five plus eight equals thirty-three years. Then there's the assault and battery charge, another twenty-five added with the separate counts. So that is about sixty-six years. Then there's the burglary charge set for twenty years with the eight counts, added to the sixty-six years, brings your total amount of time in prison to ninety-four years," Donnie then lets out a whistle as he applause Twilight and her friends.

The girls and Spike were all pale now. Several of the solar guards shifted about uncomfortably while Shiney grimaced. However, both my aunties seem relaxed about Everything. "NOOO!!! I CAN"T GO TO THE BIG HOUSE!!!!" Pinkie wailed. There were streams of tears leaving her eyes.

"Who is going to watch over my animal, critters?" Fluttershy whimpered.

"I can't go to prison! Those striped clothing are horrid!"Rarity whined. Somehow, the clothes are the least of her worries.

"What about my family? I can't bring that shame to the apple name!!!" Applejack said in alarm.

"They won't let me in Wonderbolts if I have a record!" Rainbow turns to Twilight and grabs her by the shoulder. "Do something, egghead!!!"

"Everything is going to be alight, Rainbow. We have nothing to worry about because we acted within the law!" Twilight proclaimed. Xavier and the humans looked confused before Twilight walked up to their cage. She pulls out the letter Aunt Celestia sent her beforehand. She clears her throat as she adopts a smug demeanor. "Princess Celestia has authorized me to investigate the disturbance that you humans caused!"

"You are mistaken!" All at once, Twilight's confidence shattered. "This letter states you are only to observe and report. Given our current circumstances, you went against orders and endangered everyone!"

Twilight stumbled back before she shot back. "It says that my findings would determine how to proceed. Finding a group of notorious humans is well within the princesses' stipulation!"

"But were explicitly given the order to capture us? And given your attire, you are a civilian. You are not law enforcement; therefore, you had no right bringing us here!"

Ouch. Twilight stumbled again but quickly recovered. "I am Princess Celestia's faithful student. That title grants me privileges, such as direct contact with the princesses themselves!"

I turned back to Xavier to see how he would respond. "Tell me, Captain, given that you are guard, you uphold the law, correct?" Shining Armor nods in response. "Does a student under the princesses' tutelage has the authority to arrest someone?"

"..." Shining Armor grimaced as he said nothing for a time. He let out a sigh as he went to answer. "No. A student under Princess Celestia's watch doesn't grant the means to carry out an arrest,"

Shining got a few sour looks from his coworkers after that. He always goes by the books as he says, and I admire that. Thankfully, it seemed Twilight was far cowing yet. "However, a guard can recruit a civilian. Thankfully, I don't need that, as I am one-sixth of the elements of harmony!"

"Oh! what's that?" Cecelia asked. There was a certain sparkle in her eyes that I found adorable.

"There are these six crazy powerful magical doo-dads that shoot rainbows at the bad ponies and save the day!!!" Pinkie stated.

"Wow, so you're like a superhero!?"

"Yeppers!!!"

"Cool!!!"

"Un-fucking-believable!" The red-maned mare said. I might end up calling her gutter mouth.

Twilight looked unsure about the young filly's reaction. "Yes, and as an element of harmony, we act for the good of all Equestria!"

"We? I assume you mean the seven that broke into our home?"

"We didn't break inside! And only my friends and I are the elements of harmony. Spike is my assistant! I am the element of magic! Fluttershy is the element of Kindness." Fluttershy hid behind her mane a little. "Rarity is the element of generosity," Rarity fluffs her hair with a tiny smirk. "There is no pony better to represent the element of honesty than Applejack," The farm mare tips her hat. "Rainbow Dash is the most loyal pony you will ever meet!" Rainbow flew into the air and puffed out her chest while shooting the humans a cocky smile. "And I dare anypony to try and find somepony more worthy of being the element of laughter than Pinkie Pie!" Pinkie broadly smiles as she leaps in the air while confetti bursts all around. "Together with the magic of friendship, my friends and I can face any threat!"

"Well said, Twilight," Celestia praised.

"Yeah! You tell them, Twilight!" Spike said, many of the guards and Shiney sharing his sentiments. There was even a smile on Auntie Luna's face, albeit small.

There was a pregnant pause from the humans. It seemed like Twilight's speech finally got to them. However, that didn't last as they started laughing. The older human stallion, Xavier, and the blonde human stallion were, at least, more reserved. But Donnie, Julie, and the gutter mouth were all laughing. "Is there something you find amusing?" Auntie Celestia asked.

"You know," Donnie said, coming down from his laughter. "I didn't know we got sucked into an episode of Sailor Moon!" That peaked Auntie Luna's attention.

"But that's not what's funny here," The red-maned human said. She walked to the bars and looked Twilight dead in her eyes. All the guards brandished their weapons, but my aunties raised their hands, signaling them to stop. "I couldn't help but put together that you and your little circle-jerking, hero brigading, twats twisting, cunts--

"Angie!" Leo said in a warning tone. It was nice to have a name for the gutter mouth. I realize I could've asked, but it wouldn't be that simple.

"--Respond to threats to your home, right?" Angie finished.

Twilight was seething from her words. I can't claim to understand most of them, but the context is clear. She is very disrespectful. "...Yes...!"

"Are we a threat?"

"Of course, you humans are a threat!" Rainbow exclaimed.

"Yeah, yeah. Human bad! Oh no! Try it again, pride parade! I meant, are we a threat!?" Angie gestures to the other humans present. "I mean, typically, when I'm out trying to shank my next victim, I avoid the feel of blood staining my fucking tube top and panties by wearing pants!" It was true. Even with all the terrible things documented about violent human behavior, it's hard to feel threatened by creatures in pajamas.

"W-we had no idea anypony was inside that mansion at the time," Twilight stuttered.

"So, an open door is a free invitation?" Julie said in an upset tone. "Would you like somebody breaking into your home and saying it was ok because a princess told you!?"

Now all the girls and Spike were sweating. "I-it wasn't like that!" Spike argued.

"Then, what is it like?" Xavier said, re-entering the conversation. "Given the apparent disdain for my species, it will be easy for anyone of you to harass us. It is under the prefix of 'The princess' order.' It is ok to break the law as long as the authority approves it!"

All of us recoiled at that. Twilight was trying and failing to formulate a response. I looked at my aunts, but they only absorbed what we were saying once again. "It is never ok anypony to break the law!" I spoke firmly and authoritatively.

"Anypony,' but what about when it comes to us!?" Xavier said.

I bit my lip at my stupid mistake. "N-no. I don't mean--"

"It is alright, Cadance," Celestia said, cutting me off. "A fascinating conversation we've had thus far. But I've noticed something that you fail to realize," Celestia's eyes, specifically Xavier's, said this. "Or perhaps you have but won't admit it for some reason. Regardless, you all are in the country of Equestria. Every state has a set of rules, regulations, and laws. You've all brought up some interesting laws that are no doubt grave offenses in your land. But do you think your laws apply here?" Why would Auntie Celestia frame the sentence like that?

"Sister?" Luna asked. She didn't like how the talk was going any more than I did.

"In a kingdom with a ruler, their word dictates the law. I am on top of the hierarchy of the political totem. My word is the law!"

"So it's decided then? Our lives were forfeited before we even had a chance to do any wrongdoings!" There was a certain edge in Xavier's voice. Now all the humans tensed up as if they were under threat. Sadly, I couldn't make any argument against that. Twilight and the others technically overstepped their boundaries. And it is coming off as justly unfair to the humans in this case.

"It is decided. My sister, Cadence, Captain Armor, and I will conduct interviews with all of you. We will determine if you are a threat. And subsequently, decide your fate," That was better, at least. It gave humans a chance to plead their case instead of outright punishment. "I warn you all now. It will be in your best interest not to lie to us, or there will be grave consequences! Any questions?"

Angie raises her hand as everyone turns to her. "Can I get some fucking pants?"