Difference In Perspectives.

[Kingston Manner - Nancy's POV.]

I was standing in the main foyer while staring at these strange people. "Would any of you like to inform me as to what is happening? Xavier? Why did I find this young lady in the halls?" I gestured to this strange pink woman. The more I looked at her, the more I believed Donatello put her up for a prank. She was wearing a pony costume or something - with a very poofy pink mane. This outfit had bright blue eyes that seemed almost life-like, but they were too big to be a part of the costume. Her clothes were regular at least: A white shirt with short blue sleeves with matching jeans pants.

"I told you already, Miss human. I'm throwing you all a 'Welcome to Ponyville' party! And I'm Pinkamena Diane Pie, but my friends call me Pinkie Pie!"

"I understand that much, dear, but we don't live in this 'Ponyville' you keep mentioning. We're in the New York state suburb of Upper Montclair. I've never even heard of the place you are talking about at all,"

I must say Pinkie Pie - an imaginative name - smile grew so large that I thought it would absorb her whole face. It must be a new feature they added to costumes recently. It was a bit unnerving, to be honest. "Nope. You're in Ponyville! A place full of ponies and not so many humans. Actually. No humans. If I had to guess as to why you're here, some unknown force took you away from your planet as part of some big scheme to settle a social stigma about humans and restore some semblance between our two species,"

I didn't know how long I was staring at this woman, but I was beginning to wonder if I had entered senility. "An "unknown force," you said?"

Pinkie Pie shrugs as she answers. "Probably Faust,"

"Who?"

"Psst. The creator, silly. The author of life and all things harmony. Oh, wait. You probably wouldn't know that. Ok, in the beginning--"

"Laughter. We informed thee that further interaction with the human abode is prohibited! Thou shalt return to thine activities elsewhere!" The blue woman said. Why was she speaking Shake Spherion?

"Aww. But I had to make an apology party with the welcome to Ponyville party. Oh! That reminds me..." I couldn't grasp what I saw next. Pinkie zipped out of the foyer, and she brought a mobile create that sprung to form a music box in the time it took for me to blink.

I couldn't form proper words as Pinkie slid in front of us. She was more energic with her bouncy and singing than either Cecelia or Natalya after a sugar rush. Where did she pull out that big drum and trumpet? I could feel the silly hat on my head as I found my voice again. "Miss Pie, where--"

"Wait for it..." She cut me off as a compartment opens on her music box and shot out confetti, blowing the hat off my head.

The only sound left in the hall was the clapping from Cecelia. "Again. Again!!!"

Pinkie seemed to match her excitement with a broad smile. "Ok..."

I saw this woman's mouth extend to absurd lengths as she took a massive air intake. But I cut her off. "No, dear, that is quite fine. Walter!" My butler was in front of me in an instant. "Explain this for me so that I know I am not dreaming,"

"It would appear that we are indeed in a foreign land. Through methods I cannot fathom, something relocated the entirety of the mansion. We may no longer be on Earth, let alone in New York State. These 'people' you see around us are not humans but humanoid equines," Walter explained.

I looked between him and the so-called equines before pulling his head to mine. "You don't seem to have a fever. Is this a prank? Donatello, how'd you convince Walter to partake in this ruse?"

"Me, convince this prude for a prank against you; I'm not a miracle worker, Mrs. K," Donatello said.

I wasn't finding this joke assuming anymore. "Young man. I will not entertain this stunt anymore. It is hilarious, but you can drop this act now,"

"If I may, ma'am..." I turned to the other pink woman as she stepped forward. "I am Princess Mi Amore Cadenza. These are my Aunts, Princess Celestia and Princess Luna. I believe I can dispel any disbelief in what we are. Please try to remain calm,"

I was about to say something to the 'princess' when the appendage on her forehead started to glow. I looked on in wonder before some rattling went off behind me. A golden, shimmering cloud covered her form. Slowly, the princess floated over to me. I saw Cadenza tilt her head down and land right into my hands. I was dumbstruck. I began feeling around her hooves for wires or projectors, but nothing was there. Cadenza looked amused at my expression, while my kids looked concerned. Without a word, I stepped back from the princess.

Her smile was still present, as was my disbelief as I reached out to her. The other ponies didn't like that. I caught several of them drawing their swords and lightning their horns, causing me to flinch back. However, a sharp glare from the princess made them back off. Cadenza smiled at me again while holding out her hoof. I use the term hoof loosely. It was more like a pink-furred tube. But I treated it as if it was an average horse's limb. I ran my fingers up and down her forearm slowly. Next, I traced the edge of her hoof with my fingertips. This arm was far too intricate to be a part of a costume. A smile appeared when a funny idea popped into my head. I took my two fingers and began circling the frog at the base of her hoof. This move got the reaction I was looking for, the coy princess giggling at the simulation.

"Hehe, that tickles!"

"I've had practice," I pull away from her hoof while adopting a stoic demeanor. "So you are not lying. You are a different species?" Cadenza nodded. "And you're royalty?" She nods again. "What exactly are you here for other than the obvious?"

I seemed to hit a swore subject as the smile on Cadenza's face fell. At that time, Princess Celestia steps forward. "We are placing you and the other humans under quarantine for the foreseeable future to determine if you are suited for interactions with my subjects. Humans have been to our lands before, and the results were far from harmonious. I am sure you understand that I will not allow history to repeat itself!"

I arched a brow at the tallest princess. "Is that why my family is with you now? They were gone when I woke up. It makes no sense that you walked in with them in tow if you placed a quarantine over our home," I glance at the twins, then Xavier and the others. All of them had several bandages on their person. "Why are you all hurt?"

I am sure everyone heard the edge in my tone. It wasn't hard to deduce what was happening right now. A police force and a foreign leader entering your home with your family member is a daunting sight. My kids are in trouble. All of us are in a situation. And there will be more trouble if my children were hurt. Celestia spoke with unabashed clarity to my question. "I ordered my student to investigate the sudden appearance of your mansion. I cannot say what happened when the two parties met, but my student subdued her attackers. After that, my student brought the other humans to the sheriff's office, where we initiated an interrogation before coming to the quarantine solution,"

There was nothing in that explanation that didn't raise my ire, but I remained cordial. "So, if I understand you correctly, your student - under your orders - enters my home without consent. Then, she proceeded to attack, injure and kidnap my family for questioning. And now we're are being put under house arrest for an indefinite amount of time that I imagine won't end without your say so..." I was no longer hiding the contempt in my tone and openly glaring at all the equine people. Some of them had the sense to look away with a modicum of shame. Others held fast, their princess emboldening their position. "Why go along with these theatrics if you've already deemed them a threat?" There was a brief, subtle twitch in the elder princesses' eyes. She wore that mask of anonymity well. But I knew how to reach those types. Even so, I had to pay close attention to her reaction. I can tell that Celestia has more experience reading people and masking emotions despite her youthful appearance.

This time, Princess Luna approached me. "Thine suspicion and paranoia are well-founded, Madam Matriarch. Tis true, our meeting with thine kin was unideal for two unsuspecting parties. The injuries are a result of a magical mishap. Young Sparkle had no prior knowledge of thine sensitivity to magic," Celestia glares at Luna for name-dropping her student. I know of a future conversation Sparkle will loathe. "As for the quarantine. Tis a temporary detainment until we can produce thine citizenship to Equestria,"

Turning to Luna, she appeared to be a teenager, yet she spoke with an old soul. "How long will that be? A day? A few months? Twenty years from now?" I said.

"Two weeks at minimum, one month at the latest," Pinkie said, much to the ponies' confusion and dismay. "What?"

I closed my eyes and sighed. Once I felt more composed, I clapped my hands together and smiled. "Right then, I imagine setting up a quarantine will take time, so why not a 'proper' tour of Kingston manner!"

Many of the guards present scoffed at my idea. Each of them grumbles their disdain for my apparent lack of manners. However, one of them was bold enough to voice their complaints. "As any sane pony would want to walk into a feces-riddled dump like this!" He had chestnut color fur with a red mane. The smile on his face told me he was pleased with his little quip. However, I will not tolerate disrespect in my home.

"Corporal Blitzkrieg!" Cadenza shouted.

"It's fine, Princess Cadenza. This dump cost more than you would make in a year, Corporal," The look I got from the boy was priceless. "Now, let's begin. I am Nancy Kingston, and this is Kingston's manner!"

"Oh!" There was a flash as Pinkie pulled out a camera. Where she got it, I will never understand.

"This building stretches over 10.4 acres with 20,000 square feet. There are four main wings to the mansion, each with basic living utilities," I said as I began to move. Walter was by my side instantly. "There are over twenty rooms inside this structure. A built-in pool, a pen for May, and the latest in furniture,"

Going up the stairs, I started with our bedrooms. Based on the ponies' reactions, they were not expecting such a large room. I picked my girls' room first, figuring there wouldn't be anything amiss with stuffed animals. I found it odd that there were two lumps in Cecelia's and Natalya's beds, but I dismissed it. This room, as well as others, are one hundred square feet and twelve by fourteen in width,"

"Is there such a need for all this space?" Luna asked.

"Personal space, Luv. There won't be any scabbling over boundaries in this home," Before we could move on, we all heard Pinkie Pie squeal.

"Whee! These dolls are amazing!!!" We looked back into the room to see Pinkie cuddling my twins' dolls. "What's your name, Mr. Froggy?"

"No! You're doing it wrong!" Cecelia quickly ran back into the room and took the frog from her. "Miss Kermit likes cradle hugs like this," She said as she held the plush doll like a baby. Cecelia hands Miss Kermit back as Pinkie mimic's her.

"Like this?" The pink mare asks. "Shush now, little froggy, don't say a word. Mama Pinkie is going to make it all better,"

I chuckled at the two of them. "That is enough, children. We must be off," The two pouted at me as they put the stuffed animals down. The next stop was the kitchen. Sadly, the state of it was a proper mess. The blender lay broken in pieces, the fridge wide open for who knew how long. And my cheesecake looked like wolves mauled it. I took a closer look at some handprints on the tray.

Sadly, I didn't get the chance to question my grandkids. "Nice kitchen. Should we wipe our hooves? I don't want to ruin your table," Blitzkrieg said, earning a snicker from the other guards and a disapproving glare from Princess Cadence and their captain.

"Hey! Our kitchen is always the best! Walter does such a good job that you could eat off the floor. Just ask her!" Cecelia stated while pointing to Pinkie Pie.

Judging by the bashful smile, Cecelia was telling the truth. "Interesting. How did you know Miss Pinkie Pie was in the kitchen, Cecelia?" It is such a joy watching her freeze up like that. I walked over to the tray and presented it to the group. "If I recall, it was Donatello that ate my cake. Except, there are two small handprints on the tray. Fancy that," By this time, I turned and faced my grandkids with the tray and the evidence facing them. "Cecelia. How did you know Pinkie was eating my cake?"

"Um..." I shouldn't enjoy it this much, but catching these kids in lies is too much fun. Cecelia's eyes dart back and forth while Natalya bites her lip.

"Because if Pinkie came in with her friends when we're usually sleeping, that would mean two naughty girls were up before anyone else sneaking some treats,"

By now, both of my girls were sweating quite profusely. It only gets worse when Cadenza reveals another tidbit. "How underhanded! I gave you that cake out of good faith!"

"What about me? These two tried to set me up!" Donatello reminded us. Cecelia and Natalya had the decency to pretend to look ashamed.

"You're an easy mark. Quit your bit-- whining!" Angela wisely corrected herself.

"Can we move this along!?" Blitzkrieg complains.

"Patience is an acquired skill that all soldiers must learn. Sadly, some failed to do so," Walter said.

The young Corporal got into Walter's face as he snarled at him. "You trying to say something, monkey!"

"Corporal! Reign. It. Back. Now!" The captain stated sternly.

"Perhaps we should continue elsewhere," Celestia suggests.

Pinkie Pie began frantically waving her hands - excuse me - hooves to gain my attention. "Wait! Before we go, you should throw out those rotten green peppers in the fridge. They tasted bad!"

I arched a brow at this while inspecting the fridge. I took out the food in question and gave it a sniff. "There's nothing wrong with these, dear. This food is from yesterday evening,"

Pinkie pie shook her head in protest. She leans in and glares at the green pepper. "No way! I'm telling you, there's something off about that thing. What's it made of anyway?"

Juliet went to respond before me. "They're called stuffed bell peppers. That's green peppers hollowed out to make a hoster. You can put anything you want into them. This time, I chose ground beef,"

All at once, the bright, vibrant colors drained from the ponies around us, and a pale green came into its place. The reaction makes sense considering they were all herbivores. Poor Pinkie Pie ran to the nearest trash can and emptied her stomach. Although, I should've expected our diet might be cause for contention. All at once, the guards leveled their spears at us again. Corporal Blitzkrieg thought it wise to aim the spearhead at my face. " You see, captain, these apes are here for less than a day, and we already have casualties!"

"Casualties?" Cecelia asks. "What's that?"

"Don't play dumb, you murderers! How many cows did you butcher!?"

"Are we talking daily or in between meals...?" Donatello began, but a sharp look from me stopped him.

"I think I know--"

"Enough of your lies!!!" The Corporal hollered out. To my shock, this short-tempered pony reared back and thrust his spear at my face. The blitter and Walter had already moved his palm into the spear's shaft. The spear tip spun in the air as Walter grabbed the broken stick and pulled it towards himself and the Corporal. He sweeps the hooves right from under the red and brown pony while pushing against his chest plate. I doubt the Corporal had time to grunt in pain before Walter grips the broken pole and points it under Blitzkerigs muzzle. "Wha--"

"Captain!" He addressed Shining Armor. "This manner has rules: No cussing. No disputes. No violent altercations. We settle matters through polite and civilized conversation." Walter leers down at the Corporal with disapproving eyes. "If I may, Miss Kingston, these guests have been the worst thus far,"

I wanted to correct my faithful butler, as Kingston senior still holds that record. But I never got the chance as the rest of the guards converged on Walter. "You are under arrest for assaulting a royal guard!!!"

"Human scum!"

"Let's shipped them to the Everfree!"

"No! Throw all in the dungeon, never to see Celestia's light again!!!"

The more this prattle went on, the more agitated everyone got. Julia thankfully kept the twins close to her. The four men of the house stayed guarded. Luckily, before things could escalate further, the sun princess spoke with absolute authority. "Enough!" Her voice seemed to bounce off the wall of the manor. "All guards are to wait within the main foyer until told otherwise!" The guards all raised their objections to that order. Shinning Armor remained quiet and had a look I'd mistake for shame. "Are you defying your princess' order?" I don't know whether it was the tone of her voice or the realization of their mistake, but the guards filed out of the room faster than I could blink. The high princess turned back to me and bowed her head slightly. "Please excuse them. There have been enough misunderstandings today. Rest assured. Those guards will face the consequences of their conduct. I promise you this,"

A scoff went off from the side of us as we saw Donatello rolls his eyes. "Save it for the press. I don't feel like getting spoon-fed bullshit from a politician,"

"You seem to be under the wrong impression. Here in these lands, Equestrians follow the covenants of harmony. That means we are honest with our words, promises, and oaths,"

"An honest person in politics? Ha!" Juliet scoffs. Even I had to scoff at the thought.

Celestia held a thoughtful expression before she smiled. It was unnerving to see something so perfect yet layered with hidden intentions. "Thank you for the insight on human politics. I've learned much from your projections," She claps her hooves together as Angela is ready to erupt. "Shall we continue?"

The high princess took the tirade in stride, thankfully. She looked more confused at some of the words spoken, although I saw her flinch back at the horse comment. At any rate, the tour continued to the living room. Pinkie Pie quickly stood in front of the tv and mistook it for a mirror. I saw an opportunity to have some fun and went for the remote. The Samsung logo came on screen with dramatic fanfare. The look of shock and awe was adorable. I would've enjoyed showing some TV programs, but I didn't want to wait. But perhaps the strangest reaction the ponies had was toward May. Princess Celestia and Luna looked disturbed, while Cadenza shied away from May. Pinkie sat there and stared. Her already large pupils grew more prominent the more eye contact was extended. Then - although I have some difficulty saying this, Pinkie and May rear back on their hind legs and let out a whinny, flailing their forelegs at each other. Afterward, Ms. Pie pets her on her muzzle - the horse nuzzling into her touch - and returns to the group. I think it's wise to dismiss Ms. Pie's antics for the sake of sanity.

The tour concludes just in time for the quartine staff to arrive. The guards all stood at attention for their royal charges. None of them spoke a word - even the Corporal read the room and kept his muzzle closed. There were several ponies in the traditional hazard suits. The only healthy ponies were a chestnut brown stallion wearing a green bowtie—a purple pony in a schoolgirl's outfit. And a lime green pony wearing a white shirt and beige shorts. The three of them seemed to be in worlds of their own. The stallion looked around the manor with child-like wonder. The purple mare had her eyes glued onto the clipboard and didn't acknowledge anyone. The lime green mare honestly had me worried. She didn't stare off into the structure or glare into a clipboard. She stared right at us with wide eyes and an even full grin. She was fiddling with her hooves together while jumping in place. The brown stallion finally noticed us and stretched his foot out.

"Greeting--"

That was all he got to say as the lime green mare appeared before us in a flash of green light. "I'M LYRA HEARTSTRINGS!"

"What the hell!?" Leonardo just earned a week of service. But then again, that bright flash blinded all of us.

I finally got the spots out of my eyes to see Ms. Heartstrings standing before me. This pony was setting off more than one red flag, but one must remain polite. "Hello, I'm--"

"A HUMAN! YOU'RE A HUMAN!!!"

I was now more uncertain about this mare. "Yes, I am. My--"

"You're a human, with a nose and mouth instead of a muzzle, feet in place of hooves, and hands!" Ms. Heartstrings grabs my hand and rubs her cheeks on it. "These glorious human hands!!!" Ms. Heartstrings' eyes sparkled in fascination at my digits.

It wasn't until the chestnut stallion placed his hand on her shoulder did she stop. "I can understander your passion, Ms. Heartstrings, but we should probably finish our introductions," The stallion usurers Ms. Heartstrings to the side as she bowed to us. "I go by Doctor Whooves or Doc for short,"

"Oh, are you a medical doctor? Perhaps a doctorate?" I asked.

"Not at all. I have what many would call life experience. I've been around the block a few times in my travels. I've met many creatures on the road - help a few of them too - and therein comes the name 'doctor.' My giddy colleague is a cryptozoologist. An expert in exotic and mythical creatures such as yourselves fancy that," Ms. Heartstrings was nodding her head enthusiastically at his words.

"Yep! Anything about humans, I would know. Much like you would know - being humans - I can't wait to share what we both know!!!"

"You know anything about humans being cannibals?" The voice of the Corporal rang out.

I don't think I've ever seen a beaming smile change so quickly outside of a show on Tv. Ms. Heartstrings address the Corporal's barbs with a firm tone. "That is not true. Humans are strictly omnivores. Their diet includes grains, fruits, vegetables, meats, legumes, and protein. That is essential to a healthy human metabolism,"

"That's true," Xavier spoke, standing next to Ms. Heartstrings. "The meat we consume provides precious protein our bodies need to operate. Observe..." Xavier opens his mouth wide to display his teeth. Both the doctor and Ms. Heartstrings looked gobsmack at them. "As you can see, we have small fangs for biting into meat--"

"Pause," Donatello blurted out, earning a smack to the head from Juliet. "Oww...!"

"--And molars for grinding and chewing. However, we do not murder other sapient beings for nutrients!"

"That fridge full of mutilated body parts says different!" Corporal Blitizkeirg hollered.

"Corporal!" Captain Armor suddenly said. "Since you have such strong feelings about this, I want you to lead an investigation. Check every farm with animals to see if any have been missing since last night. Dismissed!"

The Corporal seemed delighted at the order and left in a hurry. I am thankful the blitter was out of my home. "Well played, captain. A bit crass sending your subordinate on a pointless task, but even I found his presence grating,"

"Um, pointless?" Cecelia asks.

"Eee! Human foals!!!!" Ms. Heartstring squeals. She quickly brought the twins into a hug and nuzzled their faces before staring at their hands - much like she did mine.

Doctor Whooves smiles down at my granddaughter. "Why yes, little one. The only farm with animals omnivores would consume is Sweet Apple Acres. But the Corporal doesn't know that plus - to fill your refrigerator full of them - would take multiple trips back and forth. A feat that will not overnight without notice,"

"Oh! He's going to be mad," Juliet said.

"Indeed. Back on topic..." Doctor Whooves gestures over to the lavender unicorn who hadn't taken her eyes off her clip this entire time. "This fine mare is-

"Hey, Twilight!!!" Ms. Pie shouted, appearing right in front of her friend, I gather.

This mare, Twilight, finally took her snout out from the clipboard. "Pinkie? What are you doing here?"

"I'm trying to throw an apology/welcome party, but nopony will let me!" Pinkie said with a pout.

"No surprise there. This building is under quarantine, Pinkie. These ponies are here to make sure there are no harmful elements that could adversely affect the populous," She's well-educated. Ms. Twilight got a proud look as she held her muzzle up high. "I'm here to offer my expertise. As Princess Celestia's faithful student, I've studied many books on varying subjects. That includes Processor Foot Note's book on humanity. See,"

"The Cautionary Guide to Human Behavior,"

"That's right. I've studied all ten volumes in depth. Granted, it's a little dated - given the last update was nearly five hundred years ago - but the information is accurate," Ms. Sparkle started to beam more as she spoke. "I'm sure my findings will prove most helpful during--"

"Cough-cough *Bullshit* cough-cough!" Donatello feigned. "What?"

Twilight deadpans at Donatello's outburst. I silenced the immature man with a glare before turning back To Miss Sparkle. "What dear Donatello means to say that none of us are comfortable with the situation,"

"Gah! There was another human here?!" Ms. Sparkle exclaimed.

"That's Miss Nancy Kingston! In this house, we give others proper respect! It's a pleasure to meet you, Miss Sparkle,"

Ms. Sparkle looks uncertain but responds accordingly. "Um, hello, Miss Nancy Kingston,"

"Oh, Please, just Ms. Kingston. Now that the formalities are squared off, would you kindly leave my house? Thank you,"

The ponies here gasped out in shock while Ms. Sparkle fumbled her words. "W-What? But I'm a vital member of the quarantine! You can't kick me out!"

"Are you telling me I do not have authority in my home? Correct if I'm mistaken, but isn't the purpose of quarantine to ensure there are not any harmful diseases to the general population?"

"Well, yes, but it's also to keep other harmful elements away. This encounter is the first time any pony has interacted with humans in centuries. You could have a slew of unknown pathogens on you,"

"If that's the reasoning, then everyone not in a hazmat suit is already infected, yourself included! Unless the word 'quarantine" is an excuse for house arrest!"

That statement gave Twilight pause. "Even so, Princess Celestia ordered the quarantine, and she had reasonable cause to do as such. She tasked me with helping gather data around your kind,"

I stop myself from raising my voice at this girl's blatant hero-worship of the princess behind me. "That's hardly fair - judging others for past action we never committed - while every other blitter is free to do as they please to us,"

Ms. Sparkle gained an offended look. "It isn't like that! This situation may not be ideal, but it is a precaution! I realize you may feel like we broke the law under your definition. But here, in Equestria, our laws differ from your country,"

"Then tell me this: Is it against the law to enter someone's home without their consent?" Ms. Sparkle appeared lost on what to say. "How about forcing someone out of their home while injuring them in the process? Did Princess Celestia order you to do that as well?" Ms. Sparkle began to fidget the more I challenged her argument.

"I am an element of harmony. I have to act if there is an immediate danger to the welfare of any pony in Equestria. Furthermore, you and your family are not legal citizens of Equestria. There is too much of a grey area surrounding your sudden appearance,"

"That may be true enough, Ms. Sparkle," Doctor Whooves interjected. "However, Nancy is correct. Foalnapping and Assault are serious crimes recognized by the country and crown," I saw the doctor glance over to Ms. Sparkle with a disapproving frown on his muzzle. "As for the issue of citizenship, any creature can apply provided they go through screening,"

Princess Celestia seems to frown slightly at the doctor. "The humans will be able to apply for citizenship after the quarantine. However, operating under my behest grants Twilight and her friend immunity from any liable offenses," She didn't miss a beat using her authority. "As we stated before, we have no idea who did what when the two groups met,"

Ms. Diane suddenly appeared before us as she spoke. "It kind of hard to make out in the dark, but then I remembered my night vision glasses I got from Rocko cereal box," She pulled out said glasses from her mane. "Rarity was over here, hugging Fluttershy. Applejack trips and falls on the couch. Rainbow was wrestling with a couch pillow for some reason. I bumped into Spike a few times with my flanks. The foals were crawling on the floor with her," Diane said while pointing to Juliet - whose blush convinced me was it the truth. "Twilight was screaming like a filly blindfolded. The big guy there was standing in the dark, looking cool. And the red-head and blonde guy were practicing their thigh hugging,"

Donatello went pale as I dared to speak. "Thigh hugging?"

"Like this..." Without warning, Diane and Donatello were on the ground with the pink mare sitting on his hips.

"What the fuck?!" Juliet shouts before covering her mouth. Leonardo arches a brow at the scene.

"Swear!!!" Cecelia reminded.

Ms. Sparkle retook notes, whereas Ms. Heartstrings tilted her head in confusion. She looked like she wanted to ask a question, but I cut her off. "Regardless of who did what, you still broke into our home. If you operated under government sanction, there was no reason not to be cordial. Ms. Diane was the only one to attempt to give an apology. Have you done the same?"

Ms. Sparkle looks between the princesses and me. "Ok. I am sorry you feel my conduct was unbecoming--"

I held up my hand before she could finish. "Young lady..." My tone was probably harsher than I wanted, but it conveyed my point. "I am in no mood for any patronizing, half-hearted apologies. If you are sorry, then respect my wishes, and leave my home!"

Twilight wanted to protest, but Princess Cadenza spoke again. "It might be for the best, Twilight," Her ears quickly flopped to the side of her skull. It was something May did when she was feeling sad. I guess ponies might share qualities with horses.

"Fret not, my faithful student; you will not be idling in the dark. You will be in touch with any information the hazmat crew obtains," Princess Celestia stated. That earned a scowl from Angelia, but she held her tongue for now. "It's time we took our leave. Captain Armor. We must discuss new guard postings around the manor. I do not wish for any unauthorized ponies to get curious," She turned to us with a polite smile. "Hopefully, we can move past this dreadfulness and achieve perfect harmony,"

"You sell that on a gift card? Because I can tell you now that some false advertisement," Donatello said.

To our surprise, Celestia kept smiling. "Despite the circumstances, it was nice meeting all of you," And with that, the four princesses and Captain Shining armor left.

She was about to leave, but Ms. Heartstrings stopped. "Wait, Please! I have to interview you!"

"Bite me!" Angela flips the bird. I was adding another week of maid service.

"I'm afraid she right, Miss?" Instead of responding, Angela gives the doctor the finger. However, to our surprise, Doctor Whooves laughs. "Ah, Ms. Flip-me-the-bird, a pleasure to meet you,"

"You know what that means?" Juliet asks.

"As I said, I am well-traveled. If you wish to know more, we can start a dialogue,"

"While you all do that, I'm going to get some things for the party," Pinkie Pie said

It was well into the evening now. All of us were in the living room, waiting for the surprise Diane promised us. The hazmat crew had come and gone out of the manner. I can hardly call any of those equine professionals. Whatever they didn't break was thrown about all over the place. The real treat was when they saw May for themselves. Before, I never thought I would see someone suffer an extensional crisis, but today has been a proper bother. They returned an hour later but avoided May's stability like the plague. The interview was better this time around. It's a wonder how cooperative someone is without being interrogated. Ms. Heartstrings was overzealous but pleasant. Dr. Whooves was respectful and courteous.

Ms. Heartstrings poses a question about why our skin tones were different. That went into a discussion about other races among humans. We didn't go into full details, just the general reasons for skin pigmentation, such as different climates and continents. Dr. Whooves asked about our family structure. It was an easy question; I was the head of the household. Walter and Xavier are often my delegates. They both keep a calm mind and a logical approach to everything. Leonardo is stoic, rarely speaking, but is quick to act in defense of others. Donatello is the goof with a good heart. Though, I wish the boy would take some things seriously. Juliet is a sweetheart and the most sensible out of her brothers. Angela is abrasive to anything and anyone, especially authority figures, even toward me at first. It's not a surprise the princess confined Angela to a holding cell for the night. Thankfully, she'll be back with us with they start their physical examinations. I'm not looking forward to that spot of annoyance. Anywho, it was almost time for Dian's surprise.

The mare in question came into the room, pushing a cart with a tarp over it. "What's that?" Cecelia asks.

"Oh, it's Sugarcube Corner's new hot menu item!" Pinkie pulls the tarp away to reveal a silver tin. She lifts the lid to reveal a delicious sight. "I present to you the Sweetie glazed strawberry cake! This little number has eight glazed donuts on top of rich strawberry icing and rainbow sprinkles. It's guaranteed best-selling product for every birthday party and social shindig!"

"More like guaranteed to give you diabetes..." Xavier commented.

Pinkie served everyone a slice of cake as she spoke. "Oh! Diabetes. What's that? Is it good? Can I have some?"

I could only blink at that statement. But I suppose an equine wouldn't know about human disease. "No, Diane, it's not something you can eat," I said.

"CAKE!!!" Cecelia shrieked as she and Natalya rushed toward the cake.

I was having none of that! "Cecelia. Natalya. Pause it!" The two flinched at my tone as they looked back at me. "You two little deviants have had enough cake for today!"

Both the girls glance at each other. "But-"

I held up one finger, making them flinch again but silencing them all the same. "You will make up for sneaking around by helping Walter clean up the mess our previous guesses made. Then, and only then, will you have this cake for dessert tomorrow!"

Walter came into view on cue with a broom, dustpan, mop, and other cleaning products. He also applied two masks to the kids' faces. "Hold on; we'll help too!" Miss heartstrings stated.

Doctor Whooves pauses mid-bite as he looks at Miss Heartstrings. "We will?"

"Yes! With everything that happens here today, I think it's only right that we clean up after ourselves!"

"Oh! Good idea!" Pinkie said. Looking over at her, I saw she was already in a maid outfit. "We got to have a clean home when Angie is back for the party!!!"

"I feel kind of bad eating at home while she's spending a night in a cell," Juliet said.

"Hmmph! Don't worry. She is probably raising a big stink right now," I shot Donatello the stink eye for talking with his mouth full.

"Um-hmm," Leonardo agreed.

"Oh, pish-shaw. I already gave Angie a slice,"

[Sheriff Office - Detainment Cell - Handbook POV.]

I sat back on in my office while rubbing my temples. After the princesses brought that red-mane she-devil back, she threw a fit. Now, usually, I would quickly educate our guess against such behavior and leave as quiet as a mouse. But the princess warned these monkeys were carrying fleas or something. Everypony, myself included, will have to get swabbed down by hazard ponies first thing in the morning. I am talking about the whole shebang, scrubbing, hosing, rinsing, all of it. It isn't right. I tell you what. I run a clean prison house, not some pigpen that got hit by a wild Everfree storm! Now, I'm watching this human acting a fool in my cell.

"Now look here, missy! Your back here because that mouth runs fouler than a skunk bucking a corpse! I won't have you hooting and hollering like a whimper bat!"

"Fuck this shit, pan!"

*CLANG*

"Fuck this bed!"

*POMF*

"And fuck you!!!"

After tossing her utilities, She pointed two claw digits up toward me. Now, I've had the displease of keeping griffon company, and I learned what that their gesture means. "Fine then, you little harlot, keep on acting a fool. My mother always says a dirty room is the mark of a swine-ridden, dirt-laden soul!"

"Your mother eats dicks and shit clits, fucker!"

I took out my knife stick and slammed at the bars. "You keep my mother's good name out that pie hole, or I'll be requesting to transfer you to Canterlot. I hear their jail cells are fit for animals like you!" She made that gesture again, and I left her to it. It would be a trying day, and I still have some spirits in the drawer.

[Angela POV.]

The horse-face dipshit finally left, and I sat down. I thought about wrecking some more of this stupid shit-hole cell, but I was getting tired. Looking around, I could break out of here easily if I had my switch army knife. But if I'm back at the house tomorrow, it's better to wait. I was about to sleep this stupid day away when I noticed a tray in the corner. Opening it, I was staring at a fucking cake. There was a card sitting on top of it with some writing inside.

"Dear Angie, Hiya. I'm Pinkie Pie. We met when my friends and I broke into your home and kind of/foalnapped you and your friends. Then, we met again in your cell. And we'll meet again, again tomorrow! Only this time, the nopony will pass out unless they're too tired to get up from all the partying we're going to do! I wanted to tell you that the other hue-mins are safe and that I'm sorry I can't give a proper Pinkie Pie welcome party until tomorrow. I mean, seriously? That's practically a crime in itself. Please enjoy this delicious, super tasty, Sweetie glazed cake on me!

Your soon-to-be friend, Pinkimena Diane Pie!"

"...The fuck is this...?" I looked at this cake for a minute before sitting with it. One of those dickheads might be fucking with me. I was hungry, and it beats prison food, so I took a bite. "...Damn! Is this cake what crack tastes like?"