Spike's Bachelor Party

It was getting late as Spike waited in his parents home for the last guests of his bachelor party to arrive. Right now he was busy spending time with his other guests, all his father-in-laws, and brother-in-laws, plus Sunburst. It was a big reminder of how few guys Spike actually had in his day to day life. ‘I really need to get more guy friends in Ponyville,’ he thought.

But he could worry about that later. Right now he was busy trying to impress his father-in-laws, Igneous Rock Pie was especially important to impress. After all he had gotten two of of the stallion's daughters pregnant but was only marrying one. True he had agreed to start dating Limestone but he was worry that the old stallion likely took offense to Spike at what he probably saw as him not take responsibility for a very serious action. Or at least that what Spike assume anyway, true is Spike didn't know much about the traditions of Rockville.

"So who wants tea?" Spike asked nervously as he got up from the couch.

"I'll have some." Answered the blue stallion Spike has recently been introduced as one of Trixie's fathers. Jack Pot looked so much like Trixie there was no second guessing when it came to who her sire was. Spike still thought it was odd that Trixie's parent herd was two stallions and only one mare.

"I believe I shall have one as well, and make sure you add one sugar for every one of my daughters though have impregnated." Igneous said in a silted tone. That was the hardest thing about Igneous. Much like Maud it was nearly impossible to tell by his expression or tone of voice what mood he was it. Spike didn’t know weather to take the phrase as a joke, anger, or indifference. Spike wasn't to sure if he was joking or not, but he got the tea with two sugars in it.

As he made the two tea’s there was a knock on a door which Spike's father Night Light answered. As Spike looked over from his place he saw it was none other then the changeling king Thorax and his older yet smaller brother Pharynx.

"Oh thank Faust, they are finally here!" thought Spike, more then relieved they could finally get the party started.

"Thorax good to see you buddy! Nice to see you too Pharynx." Spike said as he greeted his friend.

"Hey Spike, sorry if we’re late but we ran into Ember on the way over here and started talking." Thorax said.

"They got busy talking about the students and how well they were doing, the nerds." Pharynx said

"Well they are both doing fine. In fact Ocellus have been reading a lot of biology and anatomy books on other races lately. Probably to find out even more about her friends." Spike said

"That’s wonderful, maybe she wants to be a doctor or something." Thorax said happily

Meanwhile At The Friendship School Dorms

"You want to know what a what looks like?" Smolder asked as her cheeks turned red.

"Please just tell me,” begged Ocellus with her hooves together as her cheeks turned read. “I read so many books but none of the one’s I’ve found said what a dragon penis looks like and I’ve just got to know. How else am I going to fantasize about Professor Spike if I don't even know what his dick looks like?"

"How would I know what a drake's dick looks like, I'm a dragoness." Smolder answer.

"But you grew up with a father and an older brother." Ocellus said

Smolder’s turned her head to hide her even redder cheeks. "Yeah but dragons keep those parts inside when not using them and it’s not like I ever went around saying to them , Hey dad, Garble, let me see your dicks!"

"So you have no idea what a dragon's penis looks like?" Ocellus said, saddened that even her dragon friend couldn’t help her with her problem.

"Well I always thought they look like a dragoness' ovipositor." Smolder said as she rubbed the back of her head.

"Like a dragoness' what now?!" Ocellus said in surprise

Back In Canterlot

"Yeah well enough of that now it's time to party Equestria style!" Shining said with a howl. Which caused the eleven other stallions cheer.

Pharynx rolled his eyes. "Oh let me guess, we’re going to get into friendship circles and talk about our feelings while doing our manes," he said dismissively

"Actually a traditional equestrian bachelor party involves going to a brothel, getting laid, and drinking heavily. We may even do some party drugs." Trixie's other father, a light purple earth pony named Big Bucks explained.

Pharynx blinked in surprise at the new information. "And just like that I have a newfound respect for pony culture."

"Maybe we should let Spike sit this out. After all it would be wrong to let Spike lose his virginity like this before his wedding night. After all I think my big sister would be disappointed if she lost her virginity to some dragon who already lost his." Zephyr said in his usual egotistical tone.

Spike raised an eyebrow as he smirked. "I have kids on the way and I can tell you in great detail what your sister and former crush taste like," he said, wondering if he should tell the others that Twilight, Pinkie, and Limestone wasn't the only ones who were pregnant.

Pinkie was the only one who was okay with coming out as pregnant before the wedding, a fact he found a bit odd given her strict upbringing, and Twilight felt she had to come out to her parents so they would understand why she was marrying her adopted brother. Oddly enough Big Mac and Granny seemed to somehow just know Applejack was pregnant even thought Applejack had said she hadn’t told anyone. At least that how it came across to Spike.

"Ya sister wasn't a virgin when I dated her, Zephyr." Big Mac said as he rolled his eyes

"Excuse me, but if it is okay with you colts could we please not talk about this." Mr. Shy said in a soft tone that showed how much like his daughter he really was.

"Sorry about that sir." Spike said

"Anyway, you guys are going to love the brothel I picked out. It’s a new kinky one." Shining Armor said

"Then what are we waiting around here for! Let’s get going already!" Pharynx said as he started to make his way out the door follow by the others.

"So what do the mares do for their party?" Thorax asked as they were leaving

"The same thing really but since three of the mares going are expecting I don't think it will be as wild as ours." Firelight said, not hearing how Nightlight, Shining, and Big Mac giggled a little when he said three. Spike heard them however.

"I been telling Applejack that Big Mac and Granny Smith knew but no she said. Granny Smith wasn't making innuendos about planting new apple trees, she was just talking about new plans for the orchard she said. And Big Mag didn't catch us rutting in the barn, and in the orchard, and every bedroom in the house she said." Spike thought as he couldn't help but roll his eyes at how his wife was trying to fool herself.

Maybe if Spike had been more aware of his surroundings he could have noticed the strange pony that was standing on a house across the street watching the group through binoculars.

The mysterious pony put down the binoculars and picked up a walkie talkie. “Sweet Ass to Golden touch, Sweet Ass to Golden Touch. The cocks are in route to the hen house. I repeat the cocks are in route to the hen house. What is the statue of the hens? Over."

Another voice came from the walkie talkie,"Bon Bon do you really need to use the code names? I mean I get we are on a mission from Princess Celestia herself. Even if she doesn't know the mares you picked for Spike or that we are doing this. But all we are doing is getting Spike to rut his mother-in-laws."

"What is the statue of the hens Golden Touch? Over."

There was a sigh on the other line before the voice answered. "Uh, The scaly hen just got here and they are about to make their way to the hen house. Over." Golden Touch said, clearly not happy with the code names.

"Perfect, I'll meet you at the hen house for operation dragon rut. Over." Sweet Ass said into the walkie talkie.

Meanwhile At The Castle

"And you're going to love this new place, it is said to be extra kinky." Twilight Velvet told the other mares.

"I hope that have strong drinks, cause I'm going need a lot of booze." A grumpy and scrawny blue dragoness queen said as the group begin to leave.