The Good, the Kind and the Snugly
As the last day of Winter drew to a close, Fluttershy let out a sigh of relief. "Whew," she breathed, "I'm glad that's over!"
With her close friend Starlight doing likewise, she sank down wearily into a comfortable armchair, resting her whirling head against the back. With so little time left before the start of Winter Wrap-up, the pegasus had been worried she might not be ready in time for the onslaught of newly-awoken animals on the morrow, all of whom would be hungry after their long hibernation. The arrival of Starlight, however, had been as much a help to Fluttershy as it had been a break from the routine for the unicorn.
Now the two of them were able to take a breather, resting their tired limbs. After the cosy fireside chats of her stay with Rarity the previous weekend, Starlight had found the tumult of activity to be stimulating rather than overwhelming, but even she had to admit that the sit-down was welcome.
"Well," she announced, "I've not had an afternoon that hectic for a long time!"
Smiling in return, Fluttershy nodded. "It always gets a little busy, just before the animals come back after Winter. But I couldn't bear it, if the cute little critters didn't have somewhere to stay, and find food, before making their own homes for the Summer."
Starlight decided to refrain from pointing out that animals all over Equestria seemed to be doing just fine without the assistance of Ponyville's resident Element of Kindness, realising that the animals meant as much to Fluttershy as she did to them.
Fluttershy continued, "Thank you so much for all of you help this afternoon, Starlight. I really don't know how I would have finished it all in time with you!"
"Oh, that's alright," said Starlight. "Helping ponies is my thing, y'know?"
At this remark, the pale pegasus looked concerned. "Oh dear! I've been keeping you so busy all day that we haven't even had time to have a proper chat! And I'm supposed to be helping you, not the other way round."
Seeing her friend's worried frown, Starlight couldn't help but feel a pleasurable sense of contentment wash over her; it was good to be loved by such a kind, warm-hearted pony as Fluttershy. She hastened to remove the cause for the pegasus' concern; "Don't worry about that, Fluttershy! I've had a really good day, tiring though it has been. It was very enjoyable, being able to help you with all the preparations. I'm glad I've been of use to you."
Smiling warmly in return, Fluttershy relaxed into her armchair, giving a contented sigh. At that moment, a bird, which even Starlight with her limited knowledge of winged fauna was able to recognise as a jay, swooped into the cottage out of the gathering gloom outside, through the half-open window. Landing without ceremony on the arm of the pegasus' chair, it began twittering, singing, and making a variety of other strange noises which would have been to almost any pony entirely incomprehensible.
Not so to Fluttershy, however - having spent her whole life around animals, and with her natural affinity for all manner of creatures heightened by the pegasus race's close kinship with the bird kingdom, she was perfectly able to understand all that her feathered friends (and non-feathered friends) communicated to her, and was now nodding in a friendly way in reply to some question which the jay had evidently posed her.
After the bird had finished saying whatever it was that it was trying to say, Fluttershy replied, "Oh yes, Father Jay, I'm sure I'll be able to accommodate your whole family. I've set aside a special place in the loft for you already, and it's warm, and dry, and oh, so cosy! You'll be quite safe in there, I can assure you, and there'll be room for you all - even for all of your new nephews and nieces."
Dipping its head and whistling softly in a show of gratitude, the jay took to the air once more, passing back out into the night.
Starlight, who had watched this short exchange with the awe she always felt whenever she was a witness to Fluttershy's rather odd conversations with the non-Equine inhabitants of the world, shook her head in wonder. "You never cease to amaze me, Fluttershy," she said, "Your connection with animals is really quite something to watch!"
The pale yellow pegasus blushed in pleasure at this unaccustomed praise, and studied the floor. After a moment or two, she replied, "Oh, it's nothing really. I've just always felt so close to animals, that understanding what they say seems to come naturally to me. I've always preferred the company of animals and birds over that of other ponies. Not that I don't enjoy your company, Starlight!" she amended hastily, anxious to avoid offending her friend. "I'm really glad you wanted to spend some time with me. I don't get on well with many ponies, so it's nice to have a. . . an Equestrian, to talk to, if you see what I mean."
Starlight nodded, understanding completely. "That's alright, 'Shy," she soothed, "I know what you mean."
The two sat in comfortable silence for some time - something which Starlight noticed she seemed to be doing rather a lot lately, when she spent any long period of time with just one of her friends. It's nice, in a way, she thought. Nice to be such good friends with a pony that you don't need words to enjoy each other's company.
As the sky grew fully dark outside, and the light from the lanterns indoors came to full effect, a variety of other animals came in from the cold; it was a dry night, but clear, and there promised to be a frost on the first morning of Spring. Not wishing to suffer the night's chill needlessly, there were quite a number of animals who had apparently come to the shared conclusion that Fluttershy's cottage was the place to be.
As well as a number of jays, many of which flew straight upstairs as if they knew exactly where they were going - perhaps the relatives of Father Jay, thought Starlight - there were also several crows, around thirty smaller garden birds, at least eight rabbits and hares, two badgers, several foxes, weasels, ferrets and ermine, a solitary wildcat, and even a rather large bear - at least, he appeared large to the somewhat cowed Starlight, who wasn't used to such close proximity to so formidable a predator, though in reality he was actually only a young bear, and still relatively small for a member of his species. And to top it all off, through the windowpane Starlight was sure she could just about make out the silhouettes of several deer, who were enjoying the radiated warmth of Fluttershy's cottage without feeling the need to step inside.
Which was rather fortunate, as the building was now thoroughly jam-packed with wildlife. After some minutes of utter pandemonium, the throng seemed to be able to settle down and, one by one, either disappeared into the recesses of the house - presumably to their habitual abodes - or lay comfortably on the floor, conversing quietly in low tones. At least, Starlight assumed they were conversing - it was difficult to tell whether any two animals of differing species actually understood one another or not.
But one creature in the room was evidently having no trouble in understanding everything that was going on, and seemed even more at peace now than she had been before the invasion of fauna began. Fluttershy, her forehooves absentmindedly stroking two ferrets who had perched themselves on her knees, smiled in an almost bashful way. "They do so love me," she murmured simply.
Smiling back, Starlight was struck with a thought which had never really occurred to her before, but which stood out to her now such that she wondered why she'd never thought to ask it previously. "Why is it," she enquired, "that you get on so much better with animals than with ponies?"
Fluttershy didn't reply immediately, considering the question carefully before answering. "The don't judge me," she said eventually. "They accept me for who I am, with all of my faults and problems, and don't try to change me. So I feel comfortable around them - around animals, I mean."
This honest answer surprised the pink unicorn somewhat - not that she had been expecting a dishonest answer, but that it seemed odd for Fluttershy to talk about her 'faults and problems'. "You don't seem to have any faults to me," Starlight hastened to reassure her. "A little shy, yes, but that's not uncommon."
Fluttershy smiled again, in an almost superior fashion, though hiding one eye behind her long, flowing mane - as though she knew something which Starlight didn't, and which she hadn't yet decided whether or not to divulge. "I'm not shy," she explained after a while, "though I'm glad that's all you've noticed. . . If I tell you something private, will you promise not to look down on me for it, or to tell other ponies?"
With Rarity's recent, astounding confession still fresh in her memory, Starlight hesitated before replying. Did she really want to be party to another such secret? After some moments of internal turmoil, however, her curiosity eventually got the better of her, and she nodded. "You have my word, Fluttershy."
"Well, okay then." Fluttershy still seemed unsure of whether to tell her friend whatever it was that was so vital it be kept a secret, but after a while she continued. "All of our other friends already know, so I suppose it'll be alright if I tell you, too. You're one of our circle now, you see," she added, much to Starlight's gratification.
Another silence followed, this one somewhat longer than the previous one, as the timid pegasus formulated her thoughts. As the animals around her started to drift off into restful slumber, she spoke. "I have a condition called 'avoidant personality disorder'," she explained. "It means I get very anxious in social situations, because I feel like every pony around me is watching me, and criticising me. And even though I really want to have close friendships with ponies, I find it very hard, because I never feel like I'm good enough for them, and I get really worried about whether they might abandon me if I become boring to them."
She broke off and, seeing Starlight's confused and concerned expression, gave a rather self-conscious laugh. "Oh, I know how ridiculous it sounds. And when I'm in a situation like this, where I know I'm safe, and with a pony I already know truly cares about me, I can tell that it doesn't really make any sense. But as soon as I go outside, as soon as there are other ponies around that I don't know really well. . ."
She trailed off, and the distant, unfocussed look in her eyes told the rather surprised Starlight that she was either remembering unpleasant experiences, or imagining them. To snap her friend back to the present, the unicorn gently cleared her throat. "Hmm. . . I confess," she began, "that I don't really understand how or why you might feel like that. But I'm glad that you feel comfortable with me. After everything I've done, it means a lot to me that you'd feel able to tell me something like that, and that you'd trust me to keep such knowledge to myself."
Dragging her mind back to the present moment, Fluttershy smiled warmly. "I don't really understand how or why I feel like that either," she said, "But I think it all began with being so unpopular in flight school. I have never been a strong flyer, and so all the other pupils used to look down on me, and call me awful names. . ." She trailed off again, brow furrowing as though in recollection of some distant unpleasantness. After a short while she came back to the present, continuing, "The only pony who always stood by me, no matter what, was Rainbow Dash. She never let me down, or sided with the others against me, even though it made her unpopular. I've never forgotten that, and I hope to repay her for her kindness someday."
As though surprised at this uncharacteristic forthrightness, the diffident yellow mare fell silent again, calming herself down by watching the slowly rising and falling chest of the slumbering ferret on her lap. Starlight did likewise, realising that almost every creature in the room besides themselves was now asleep - the exception was Angel Bunny, Fluttershy's special friend, who had settled himself into the crook of Fluttershy's wing, and was staring up at her with undisguised adoration.
Almost five minutes passed in silence, with only the gentle breathing of countless animals, the sound of the wind blowing through the nearer trees of the Everfree Forest, and the soft tick - tock of the grandfather clock in the corner being audible. Then Fluttershy, sneaking a glance at her unicorn friend out of the corner of her eye, murmured, "I've always had a - I've always had. . . Ever since we were fillies together in Cloudsdale, I've felt a special connection, with Rainbow - though she's never seemed to notice it. . . I'm just a friend to her. An old friend, yes - but just a friend."
Starlight, former cult leader and current guidance counsellor at the School of Friendship, prided herself on being able to hear the words ponies left unspoken, and the present example was no exception, and inferred all that Fluttershy evidently wanted to confess, but couldn't quite bring herself to do so. Quietly, she asked, "You love her, don't you, 'Shy?"
Wistfully, the lovelorn pegasus nodded her reply. "It's okay though," she breathed. "Maybe one day Rainbow will feel the same way about me as I do about her. . . and even if she doesn't, I'll always be able to enjoy her company. As her closest friend, if nothing more."
Wanting to say something encouraging, but not quite knowing how to go about it, Starlight attempted to reassure her friend. "You never know," she began, "Rainbow may realise in time. And maybe one day - who knows? - you'll feel able to ask her for yourself."
"Maybe," whispered Fluttershy. "Maybe."
And then Starlight realised that she'd been so caught up in the conversation, and had been so busy all throughout the day and so worn out all evening, and so surprised at not just one, but two revelations from a pony she'd always thought she knew inside-out, that she'd had no time to feel even the slightest bit down all day. You know, she thought to herself as she watched Fluttershy drift gently off into well-earnt repose, there's more to this friendship business than meets the eye. . . and more to Fluttershy too, for that matter.
And with that thought still in her mind, she fell fast asleep, weary, but content.
Author's Note
(This story is a prequel to Pink.)
