How Blueblood Lost his Title

by SC_Orion

Rating: teen
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Princess Luna, Comedy, Random, Prince Blueblood, Princess Celestia, Main 6
Length: 2000

A silly slip of the tongue puts Prince Blueblood in hot water. It could happen to anypony, really.

This is how Prince Blueblood lost his self-imposed title with a slip of the tongue.

He really should have thought before he spoke.

Then again, it probably wouldn't have made a difference anyway.

Published 2019-03-14 21:50:01 UTC
Last updated 2019-03-14 21:50:01 UTC

Racism. The Answer is Racism.

"But she's a filthy mud pony!" had been Prince Blueblood's cry.

Well, former Prince Blueblood. After that? Not so much.

It is important to distinguish that, before he had said that, his title of 'prince' had been self-imposed, however, he was indeed a noble. One of the noblest of nobles, in fact, at least as far as he was concerned. But of course, from an outside perspective, he was the biggest snake in a pit of vipers. And that was an objective fact, at least as far as most of the actual nobles were concerned.

Narcicism wasn't becoming of anypony, but those narcissistic nobles gave the whole lot a bad name, and they were, for the most part, the only nobles anypony heard of, so it soured everypony's opinion of the entire nobility, much to the detriment of the kind and generous nobles.

Some even went so far as to question why he was allowed to keep such a self-imposed title of 'prince,' especially given that it was on par with the alicorn sisters, who held the titles of 'princess' and ruled Equestria.

Some of the conspiracies say that Princess Celestia knew Blueblood had taken the title of 'prince' for himself. They say that she even knew that he had spread rumors that he was her nephew, even though such was untrue. Neither Princess Celestia nor Princess Luna had mates, nor did they have any other siblings, aside from the bond of alicornhood they shared with Princess Twilight Sparkle and Princess Cadance.

The conspiracy goes something like this, "Princess Celestia knows what Blueblood has done, but doesn't do anything about it because Blueblood is so bad, she is hoping something like Chrysalis or Tirek will ponynap him so that she, and Equestria by extension, perhaps as an afterthought, will not have to deal with him anymore."

But of course, that is just a conspiracy theory. The truth is far blander: Princess Celestia never knew that Blueblood had made such claims. Why would she? How would she have found out? Reading the tabloids? You cannot take anything they say seriously, and that was a lesson Princess Celestia learned eons ago, well before tabloids were even invented.

Princess Luna on the other hoof, well, there's a story there for another time. Needless to say, the tabloids knew about her return, and Princess Luna's introduction to the tabloids was less than ideal.

That story may involve a volume that made ponies permanently lose their hearing-- or so the tabloids say.

Of course, there are still other ponies who say that Princess Celestia knew what Blueblood was doing, but couldn't do anything about it. This theory has some credence to it, and as proof, they point to their rulers track record.

Or rather lack thereof.

Princess Celestia was pretty useless. The less savory lot of nobles- the vipers- even joked about how useless she was. The rumor that Princess Celestia couldn't do anything about Blueblood naming himself 'prince' also originated from them.

Of course, Blueblood immediately realized he had made a mistake when he used such a term to refer to an earth pony. Among the viperous nobility, it wasn't quite commonplace, but it was acceptable.

Or rather, it used to be. Blueblood had been kind enough to shed some light on the issue, and in turn, Princess Celestia had been kind enough to bring the sun down on that pit of vipers.

Whether that was metaphorical or literal, the answer is, "Yes."

It probably didn't help that when former Prince Blueblood had let that term slip out, he was in the presence of some very respected earth ponies. Applejack and Pinkie Pie had been there, along with the rest of the bearers of the Elements of Harmony. Needless to say, all of them recoiled when such a term slipped out.

Even Blueblood recoiled. He blabbered out something incoherent as soon as his mind caught up with what he said, which is to say when he realized everypony was glaring at him.

Three other one-third earth ponies had been there too. Princess Celestia, Princess Luna, and Princess Cadance. Needless to say, it was still quite an insult to all six of the earth ponies present.

It is important to note here something that most ponies don't properly understand: alicorns are actually entirely unicorns, entirely pegasi, and entirely earth ponies. Most ponies don't quite grasp this and instead think that they are one-third unicorn, one-third pegasus, and one-third earth pony. One may wonder how it makes sense that alicorns are three-hundred percent pony, as logic would say it's impossible.

Discord is positively delighted by it.

It didn't help that the former self-titled 'prince' had just insulted well over one-third of ponies, and nearly the entire population of the Crystal Empire. Crystal ponies are, much to the anguish of those now-purged vipers, crystal earth ponies.

Princess Celestia's glare actually gave Blueblood sunburn. Princess Luna's glare gave him frostbite. Princess Cadance's glare did nothing, since to Blueblood the concept of 'love' was so far beyond his comprehension, it might as well have been doing something that a 'commoner' did. The only thing he felt from Princess Cadance's glare was the discomfort of the absurd, incomprehensible idea that somepony had just said, 'No' to him.

"Now what was that you said?" Princess Celestia had asked.

Blueblood's gulp had been audible.

The crackling fire that Princess Celestia's mane had become was too.

Of course, some ponies would look at what happened and see a double standard: Princess Celestia was reacting such a way to one pony insulting other ponies, while she had, for the most part, turned a blind eye to another pony insulting, in essence, every other species on the planet.

It is worth noting that the former Prince Blueblood was a contemporary of Doctor Strangehorse.

Wait, wrong universe-- pardon, Chancellor Neighsay.

But Chancellor Neighsay had seen the error of his ways-- after that error had been slammed into his face so hard it gave him a yak-induced concussion. And there was much emphasis put on Blueblood's no longer being Chancellor Neighsay's contemporary.

What happened next came in a blur, and nopony could really remember what happened afterward. Some legends say that Nightmare Moon returned and, this time, instead of bringing eternal night, brought down righteous justice upon Blueblood and his lot. Some say that Princess Celestia was so infuriated that she turned into a wicked mare of light, Daybreaker.

Or, as some say with poorly-contained snickers, Noblebreaker.

Others say that Princess Cadance somehow filled his heart with such remorse that, to this day, Blueblood cries himself to sleep.

A few ponies- mostly those who were on the receiving end of one of the infamous Twilight Sparkle lectures- make the claim that Blueblood couldn't last more than ten seconds once the Princess of Friendship got started.

Of course, Rainbow Dash sided with the group that said Twilight Sparkle educated the racism out of Blueblood.

Those who thought that Princess Celestia couldn't do anything at all were also given the surprise of a lifetime, and then some.

"I believe you owe Applejack an apology. She saved your life, and Equestria, many times over," Princess Celestia delivered in such a calm, controlled voice that even the guards outside of the room went rigid.

"Neigh!" Princess Luna bellowed, "Thou owest all of Equestria an apology! Including mine sister and myself!"

It was reported that windows were broken as far away as Manehattan. The true number of cases of hearing loss and injuries from broken glass may never be known.

Blueblood looked away from everypony, his face turning a furious red at the prospect of apologizing. He mumbled a barely-audible, completely meaningless, "I'm sorry."

Of course, it didn't take Applejack to see that it was a lie. A foal who hadn't been born yet would have immediately known Blueblood didn't mean it.

"Blueblood!" Celestia screeched in demand.

And the former 'prince' Blueblood's head whipped around to face Princess Celestia. The gears in his mind finally turned, and it sank in that the princess hadn't used his title. His eyes widened in shock and horror. He bellowed out, "My title! I demand you use my title!" since that was one of the few things he 'genuinely' cared about.

Saying genuine is being generous since it is Blueblood we are talking about. There is nothing genuine about him, it is simply that there are some things he values, and other things that he does not.

Princess Celestia didn't oblige him.

"Where did thou hearest such foul language!" Princess Luna demanded. Her nostrils flared as she exhaled. Some who had seen it would later say she exhaled pure hatred, others said that she had exhaled fire much like Spike or any other dragon.

Some would say it was even then that her coat once again turned pure black, like the pitch darkness of the night that she ruled over. But nopony could really be sure, as it all happened in such a blur. Ponies would hear that the Bearers gasped in horror at the sight- not only was Princess Celestia turning evil, but her sister, Princess Luna was too!

Or at least, that they gasped in horror until they realized what that anger was directed at.

Or rather who, and then it was okay.

Blueblood, seeing that everypony was against him, did one of the things he was good at: throwing other ponies in front of him to take the blame. He blabbered out something along the lines of, "The vipers!" in reference to those nobles that were a part of his group of wicked nobles. That is not what he actually said, but what he said ought not to be repeated in good company.

Those nobles, although they weren't there at the time, felt a sudden, unexplainable shiver rush down their spines. For just a moment, they felt a sense of dread. It was never regret, however, and as soon as it came, they pushed it out of their mind, for they did not care.

"Now use my title-" Blueblood had spat.

"Title?" Princess Celestia asked, "What title? Or are you referring to that self-imposed title of 'prince'?"

Blueblood went to say, "Of course!" but stopped after "Of-" because he realized that to finish would have been to insult himself, which was unthinkable.

"Fie!" Princess Luna growled. "Sister, I will deal with the nobility! You deal with him! Make him rot in Tartarus along with the likes of Lord Tirek and Cozy Glow! 'Tis the only acceptable course of action!"

Princess Celestia hummed thoughtfully, though she never gave any consideration to having put a filly in hell. "I think a better option would be to send him to the moon!" she declared.

Princess Twilight Sparkle nodded firmly in whole-hearted agreement. "We'll get the Elements of Harmony, Princess! We won't let you down!"

Her friends nodded and murmured in agreement. Applejack and Pinkie were significantly more enthusiastic than the rest of them.

"W-what!?" Blueblood stammered. "Y-you can't be serious!" he declared.

But they were completely serious, as such a threat to Equestria, nay, the entire world could not go unpunished!

Discord agreed and chose that moment to make his entrance, bringing with him the six Elements of Harmony, which immediately zipped over to their respective bearers.

Truly, the Elements of Harmony were the only way to bring such a threat to justice! They gathered around a panicking Blueblood, and as the rainbow of the Elements cascaded down on him, he was thrown away to the moon.

In a grand display of cosmic irony, the mare on the moon returned as a stallion without a horn.

To this day, scholars debate whether this is symbolic, or whether Blueblood truly lost his horn.

Author's Note

I wasn't going to publish this yet, but I was talked into it. I only wrote this a few hours ago.

I don't normally do this sort of thing, so how did I do?