"But Fluttershy!" he whined, crossing his arms in protest. The pair were in the living room of the cottage, having their usual Tuesday tea. Fluttershy sipped on her cup, looking up at the draconequus, who sat across from her on the long chair he seemed to now own. "I don't need any more friends! Having you is tiresome enough."

"Excuse me?" she questioned, a brow raised.

He looked away in a huff. "Fluttershy, dear, I get what you're trying to do here. But trust me! I can stop bothering you if that's what you want! Honest."

She lowered her cup, giving him a look of question. ".....what do you think I'm trying to do here?"

"....you want me to make friends so that I may revert my bothersome-ness to everypony else instead of just you all the time, am I correct?"

She sighed, giving him a serious yet empathetic look. "That is not what I am trying to do here at all. I love your company, I really do."

"Then what is it?" he asked, sulking. She formed a soft smile, shaking her head lightly. She knew how stubborn he could be at times, especially with this "friendship" business. Although she expected his reluctance, it was still slightly frustrating how hard it was to at least motivate him to get into things. She wanted him to get into it optimistically, after all.

"I just don't want you to have only me as your friend, that's all. Sure, I love your company, but you know I'm not always there to accompany you. You need others you could hang out with too. Or soon enough whenever I go out to get groceries, you might as well be by the front door waiting anxiously for me like a puppy."

"Why, I would never do that," he huffed in defiance.

"Oh, you know very well if you do or not. But regardless, I still believe that you need more friends. Who knows? Maybe someone just as chaotic as you!" she said, trying to pique his interest slightly. Of course, he continued to defy.

"But-"

"No buts!" she interrupted. Even if he was defiant, she didn't let him back down. "Discord, I know you don't want this, but you really, really, need this for yourself. For yours and my sake." Her eyes pleaded, making him turn away, not daring to be lured that easily by mere puppy eyes. But as he peeked a little at her expression, he can't help give in a little.

".....fine," he said finally, which made her smile gleefully. Though he agreed, he wasn't willing to go all-in without his own input. "But come on, suggest at least one pony that would be eager to 'befriend' me, let alone fit my criteria."

"Criteria?" she asked, puzzled.

"Why, of course!" he snapped his talon, as a golden book appeared. DISCORD'S SET OF RULES, in bold silver on the book cover. He flipped through it, and- "Aha!", stopped his talon onto a page. "The list is right here: To befriend the Lord of Chaos, one must fit the Lord's criteria. Number one! One must agree to bring chaos and be willing to participate in chaos bringing shenanigans. Two! One must also like the same foods that I like! That includes sandwiches, caramel cakes, finely aged books...."

"Discord, you can't make friends with criteria....."

"Well now, I don't make the rules. And like Twilight always says: Books never lie," he stated matter-of-factly.

"She never said that."

"Yes, she has! Or...not. She has said so many things, I'm sure if you try hard enough, you can piece together that exact sentence, albeit out of context...." he said. Of course, Fluttershy wasn't amused. "......oh, don't look at me like that."

"Discord," she said softly, almost pleadingly. His eyes shifted, he hated it when she says it like that. Another one of her 'luring' attempts. And yet....

"...oh, alright!" he gave in yet again. He always found it hard to go against Fluttershy. "But you have to understand if I come back with nothing more than a restraining order."

"Don't worry," she giggled. "I'm sure you'd make plenty of friends by the end of tomorrow."

"Tomorrow?" he asked, confused. He thought he was supposed to start begging for friends after this chat. A relief to hear, actually. He needed to mentally prepare himself too.

"Well, I do need to tell the girls about this. I think it'll be nice to start with them. Well technically, you are friends with them already, just not,friend- enough, you know?"

"I....think?" he replied in confusion.

"Oh don't worry, Discord. You'd understand soon enough."

"....hmpf, you seriously expect too much from me sometimes."

After finally convincing the draconequus, Fluttershy went on to set up Discord's 'playdates'. She set off to find the girls. Discord on the other hoof went on to visit Celestia, wanting to hear her opinion on the whole thing. Would she be against it? Subjecting the public to him just for a little lesson in friend-making. Irresponsible, he expected her to say. Downright dangerous, even. Because really, what are the chances that everything will turn out right?

He snapped his talon, and he teleported from the cottage couch to the icy halls of the castle. He had teleported himself in front of the sisters' throne room. Celestia should be in by then. The door to the room was guarded by two stallion guards, who didn't even flinch at the sudden flash of magic that follows then, the draconequus. They nodded at him, and he nodded back.

After a while, he started to grow respect for the guards of the castle. They were genuinely nice to him. Often they'd even invite him for drinks or guys' night out with other guards. He'd decline usually, as though he was eager at times, he was a bit prideful and didn't want Celestia to take it as a chance to gloat that she was right about friendship being somewhat fun.

The doors pushed open and there was Celestia, whose regal bottom sat on her throne, fixated on a list of....things. He stalked forward quietly. He didn't even notice that he was on all fours at this point, his eyes fixated on the scroll in front of her. It wasn't as long as her usual task list, but nonetheless, she seemed to be very into it.

"A new edition to that romance series you've been reading? What was it again? 'Flight of The......" His eyes scanned quickly over the contract, and he paused in his sentence. "......what is this?"

"...what a busybody," she turned to him with a frown, which was returned with a toothy grin. "....it's just a-."

"A restraining order?" he joked.

"I wish," she snorted. "The Yaks insisted on a new rule to be introduced to Equestria. I would've expected them to take the hint by now after the tenth time that I've returned this.. ridiculous scroll," she shook her head. "'One must bring bags of riches for rulers when one visits other countries.... I pity the courier services if this rule is ever implemented." She rolled up the scroll and flashed it away with a light of her horn. "Now, what brings you here?"

"Ah, yes," he snapped his talon, making a throne of his own appear on top of Luna's, towering over Celestia like some lighthouse. She raised a brow, though she was used to his antics by then. "Small warning, it's about Fluttershy."

She rolled her eyes. "What is it this time? She made you sleep on the wrong couch? She forgot to tell you goodnight? She forgot to cut the crusts off of your sandwiches like how you like them?"

"No, no, it's not like that....not this time, at least," he grinned.

"Then what could it possibly be?" she asked. He snapped his talon, and his throne disintegrated into sprinkles, lowering him down like a downpour of sand. Him, now seated onto Luna's well-sprinkled throne, turned to Celestia who stretched her neck a bit from craning up earlier.

He entwined his fingers and crossed his legs. He cleared his throat. "You see....she wants me to make more friends."

"Well that's wonderful. I would've said so had she didn't."

"Pah, ponies are barely tolerable, yet alone needing to tolerate even more of them. I got Fluttershy already, how many more could I possibly need?" he said, crossing his arms as he frowned. "I'm no good with ponies. Or simply other creatures for that matter. And I can't just beg on the streets for a friend! Not that I would even degrade myself to such mannerisms, but really- who on earth would actually take me up on it? Only a fool would, that's who!"

Celestia sighed. "Making more friends, however, is for the best."

"Best?" he scoffed. "I'm the best, and I don't see anything in it for me befriending even more ponies. I can do everything with Flutters. I can talk to her, complain about something to her, ask her questions about the city hall meetings I never go for, have tea parties with her- what else can't she do for me already?"

"Discord. It's not the matter of what she can and cannot do. It's the matter of what you can do. She won't be around always, you know. She has other things to do, other things to see. She has a life outside of, well, babying you," she said. Her demeanor changed a bit, becoming slightly stern now. "And Discord... remember who we are. As morbid as it may sound, we will outlive the friends that we make."

Discord's ears drooped. Of course. He avoids thinking of mortality, of others and of his own."...I know.... I know, I know..." Oh, Fluttershy.

"And although she does enjoy your company and even tolerates your bothersome attitude, it doesn't mean acomodating her everyday life to suit your needs are adequate for her sake. Maybe she doesn't show it, but do you at least think that maybe she wants you to make friends because she doesn't want you to only cling on her?"

Discord stared at Celestia. The pile of sprinkles that he'd been sitting on began to disintegrate into nothing. He stared into the distance, deep in his own thought.

"...Discord?" she

Discord spoke, his eyes glued to the ceiling now as he continued to think about...everything. "....am I a burden to Fluttershy? "Am I really weighing her life down? Am....am I really disrupting her everyday life?"

"I didn't mean it like that, Discord-"

"Then what did you mean?" he said, his tone sharper. "She.....she's just like you." Celestia looked at him with confusion. "She never says anything until the last second. She could've just told me off for being annoying and be done with it. Instead, she chose to put up with me." He grew sterner. "She told me earlier that it wasn't because I was somewhat bothering her but yet she INSISTED that wasn't the case. I'm not an idiot. I may act like one but I am self-aware. I know I'm...bothersome!"

Celestia looked at him dishearteningly. "Discord.."

"And you. You know why she's just like you? Because you pretend to be fine with me when no, no you're not fine with me. I know why you started ignoring me when we were little, down the halls, after little one-to-one talks with your father. Because you felt like I was taking away everything you had." He was ranting now. Remembering. But it was too late to stop then. He had to go on. "By the time I was even hinted at the fact that you disliked me, it was too late. You just.. avoided me instead of telling me what I did wrong. I could've backed off, you know. I could've. I..." he paused slightly, his throat caught. "...I still can't believe that you pretend everything is still fine. Nothing happened. We just.. pretend that all of that didn't happen."

"Discord..." Celestia was taken aback. She didn't know how to respond. She... didn't even know how to feel. But before she could even come up with something, Discord got off from the throne. "I'm leaving. Don't be afraid to tell me when I do go overboard of visiting you once in a while."

And with a flash, he snapped away. And there sat Celestia. Alone in her throne room once more, her head however left to spin with emotions and thoughts and things she forgot from times ago.

Author's Note

subscribe to pewdiepie, lads.

edited 6 november 2021