Judo Flip (Clop Clop Clop)by bignastyshrekChaptersStinkmeaner: Part 1Stinkmeaner: Part 2Uncle Ruckus Comes to EquestriaHuey and Riley Start SchoolA Day with PinkieStinkmeaner: Part 1Throughout all the reaches of Equestria, there have been countless monsters that have threatened peace there. Nightmare Moon, Discord, Queen Chrysalis, King Sombra, Tirek, Cozy Glow, the Storm King, and more reigned and were eventually defeated or pacified by the group we call the Mane 6. Twilight Sparkle, Applejack, Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, and Rarity thought they could handle anything. But little did they know, their world was about to change forever, as a brand new villain, the likes of which have never been seen before, was about to show up in Equestria. Princess Twilight Sparkle was hard at work in her school in Ponyville, managing the daily activities, designing friendship lessons for all the students, and making sure everyone gets along. Meanwhile, the rest of the ponies are out doing what they do best. Applejack was harvesting apples at Sweet Apple Acres. Pinkie Pie was serving treats to her customers at Sugar Cube Corner. Fluttershy was tending to the animals in need at her animal sanctuary. Rainbow Dash was doing Wonderbolt training for a new show. Rarity was working on new outfits at the Carousel Boutique. Pinkie Pie was on her way to deliver some tasty baked goods to a customer when she sees a strange creature in the distance. It appears to be a tall, bipedal creature with brown skin and a balding head, with a cane. Pinkie dismisses it as nonsense and delivers the goods. After the delivery, however, the creature appears almost right in front of her. “Whaddaya think you’re doing, pussy punk bitch?” He asks, pointing his cane at her. “Oooh! Is that a traditional greeting where you’re from? I’ve never seen you around here! I’m Pinkie Pie! What’s your name?” She asks, shaking the man’s hand. “Colonel muthafuckin Stinkmeaner didn’t come here to make friends!” He slaps her hand away as she tries to shake it. “He came here to FUCK SHIT UP!” “Surely there’s something you need? What will it take to make you smile? I’ve helped everypony in this town, and I’m sure I can help you!” She giggles, oblivious to his true intentions. “You can help yourself by getting yo ass the FUCK outta here! Go on, shoo!” He says rudely as he hits her with his cane repeatedly, causing her to shriek. “Ouch! That’s no way to greet friends!” She squeaks as she scrunches up into a ball on the ground. “Fuck you horse muthafuckas! Imma tear this whole place down to the ground!” He adds rudely, beating her up more. “I just wanted to be friends!” She cries as she runs to Twilight’s castle for help on this situation. Shortly after, everyone is gathered at Twilight’s castle. All the Mane 6 are there, as well as Starlight, but Pinkie Pie is sobbing in her chair. “Whoa, Pinkie Pie!” Twilight is startled. “What’s got you so down?” “It’s... there was some mean guy earlier! I just wanted to be friends with him, and he beat me up!” She says, choking back tears. “Calm down, sugar cube.” Applejack says as she pats Pinkie’s back. “It’s probably just Cranky Doodle having another bad day.” “Oh, darling.” Rarity comments as she watches. “We just need to talk to him. Surely we can get him to understand.” “That’s the ticket!” Starlight Glimmer adds as she speaks up. “Yes, I agree!” Fluttershy adds, flying overhead. “If one of my animals has a bad day, I just let them talk, and they always feel better.” “Umm, guys?” Rainbow blurts, taking a look outside the castle and into the town of Ponyville. “If that’s who we’re talking about, I don’t think reason is an option.” As the rest of the mane 6 look, they see flames outside consuming most of the buildings and ponies running around panicking. However, they also see a silhouette of what doesn’t look like a pony. “That’s him!” Pinkie screams as she sees the man through the fire. “What should we do, Twilight?” “We’re going to need to call the princesses. They’d know what to do.” She says as her dragon friend Spike runs in quickly and belches out a letter. “I just got this from the princesses!” He hurriedly squeaks as he catches his breath, and Twilight picks it up. “Dear Princess Twilight.” She says, reading the letter. “We are afraid the calamity has reached Ponyville. This mission is not one that can be so easily solved with just the 7 of you ponies and Spike. You will need to breach dimensions to solve this problem. First you will need to gather something belonging to the monster to find what dimension it hails from, then you will cast the enclosed spell to be transported to his dimension. Once there, you will need to recruit help in that dimension who can help you fight the beast, who is known as Stinkmeaner.” She reads in shock. “Well, what are we waiting for?” Applejack blurts. “We can’t let Equestria get burned up. Let’s go out there and find something of his! We’ll meet back at the castle in a few minutes.” She says as all the ponies run outside the castle in separate directions to find a tool they can use. Each of the ponies searches discreetly for something belonging to Stinkmeaner, not wanting to be found by the crazy old nigga. After a few minutes pass, all the ponies are gathered at the castle. “No luck at the ruins of Golden Oak Library.” Twilight says as she hangs her head, dejectedly. “Nothing at Sweet Apple Acres either.” Applejack shakes her head. “No dice at Sugar Cube Corner!” Pinkie Pie sits down, hooves crossed. “I couldn’t find anything near Carousel Boutique!” Rarity says, starting to tear up. “Turns out nobody in Cloudsdale even knows about this menace!” Rainbow Dash comments. “Well, the animals did find this.” Fluttershy says softly as she hands Pinkie Pie a lock of gray hair that didn’t come from anyone’s mane. “Hey, what’s this? Gray hair?” She picks it up and sniffs it. “I know every pony and animal in town and what their manes and fur smell like, and I know for a fact that this isn’t any of theirs! This has to belong to Stinkmeaner!” “Great, great.” Rainbow Dash adds brashly. “I did not need to know that. Now let’s cast that spell and recruit some help!” Following that encounter, they run back inside the castle and prepare a circle, placing Stinkmeaner’s hair in the middle as Twilight casts the spell enclosed in the letter. Equestria will never be the same again. Stinkmeaner: Part 2“Now, you two niggas better behave while I’m gone!” An ornery African American granddad says to his two grandchildren before he leaves home to go drinking. “And I’m putting Huey in charge!” “Damn, Granddad! Why you gotta always put Huey in charge!” One of his grandsons comments rudely. “Remember what happened the last time you put him in charge? The house almost got destroyed!” “Only because you spent all our food money on gangsta clothes. I did what anybody would have done.” The other grandson says to his brother Riley. “I don’t care! Just don’t leave the place looking like the next Hiroshima!” Granddad grunts as he leaves the house. Huey turns to his brother Riley. “While granddad is gone, I’m in-“ “Yeah, yeah, I know. Don’t worry about me, I’m just gonna be playing video games the whole time, you won’t even know I’m here.” “Whatever, just stay out of trouble.” Huey says as he sits down on the couch to read about politics and philosophy, while Riley is sitting on the loveseat with a handheld video game system. Suddenly, a small rift appears to form in the living room, slowly getting bigger and bigger. Huey looks up and tries to alert Riley. “Riley, what is that?” “I ain’t falling for it.” “Riley, there’s a portal opening up in our living room right here.” He says as the portal keeps expanding. “Nigga! I know you bullshitting me!” Riley says as he finally looks up and gasps, seeing a green portal being opened up, as suddenly 6 ponies and a small dragon step out. As he sees them, he nearly screams his head off. “Who are you?” Huey asks as he leaps from the sofa and gets in a karate pose. Twilight is the first to speak up. “We mean no harm, but we have a huge problem in our world that only you can solve.” “That’s right.” Applejack adds. “Have y’all heard the name Stinkmeaner before?” “Stinkmeaner!” Huey exclaims, his jaw dropping and guard lowering. “So he can breach dimensions now? What does he want with you?” “I’m Stinkmeaner and I wanna fuck shit up!” Pinkie Pie says in her impression of Stinkmeaner. “Something like that.” Classic Stinkmeaner. “I don’t care who you are, we need to help you. We can’t let Stinkmeaner keep going crazy.” Huey says, his sense of right taking over. “Pssh, yeah right.” Riley scoffs. “What’s in it for us?” “Whatever you want.” Twilight pleads. “Gold, clothes, gemstones, name your price.” “Aight, I’m in.” Riley admits. “All that sounds nice, when can we leave?” Rainbow Dash pipes in, shoving the two into the portal. “Right now!” “Whoa, wait wait wait! I need my arsenal!” Riley tries halting the ponies, but to no avail, as the two of them are already inside the portal and in Equestria, appearing back in Twilight’s castle, gathering around Twilight’s table. “So, what do you both know about Stinkmeaner?” Spike asks the two humans. “By the way, what are your names?” “He’s a bitch ass nigga, that’s what!” Riley responds furiously, doing hand motions that scare Fluttershy. “Yeah, and I’m Riley Freeman and that’s my punk ass brother Huey Freeman.” Huey rolls his eyes. “Anything actually useful, darlings?” Rarity asks, as Riley gets mad at being called “darling”. “He’s a mean old black man who we killed about a year ago. He somehow came back from the dead afterwards, though, and possessed our friend Tom. We do have an idea of how to stop him.” Huey tactfully explains. “Please tell us, please tell us!” Pinkie Pie begs, and Huey sighs. “What we need to do is find a bad enough monster out there that Stinkmeaner can empathize with. Most likely, what’s fueling his rage is an unfinished nigga moment. However, where there’s harmony and peace, a nigga moment cannot exist.” Huey finishes. “Why can’t we just whoop his ass?” Rainbow Dash asks as she does a few punches while floating. “That ain’t gonna work.” Riley adds, dejectedly. “As much as I’d like to, he trained like a beast in hell. He could take us all on. We need to find someone he can talk to.” “So, the answer is clear. Do you guys know any bad... creatures around here who hate everything?” Huey asks, not sure how to refer to creatures in the other world. “Well, it seems like we’re just the ponies to solve this problem. We know all about friendship and harmony!” Twilight smiles. “We also know just the creature who can sympathize with Stinkmeaner.” “Umm, that’s Queen Chrysalis, right?” Fluttershy asks in her quiet tone of voice. “I’m afraid so, Fluttershy.” Applejack adds, feeling there is no other option. “But where would she be?” Rainbow Dash asks. “Last time we saw her was on a camping trip in the Everfree Forest.” “Then that’s where we’ll look.” Huey commands as he looks outside and sees the ruins of Ponyville, sighing deeply. After that, he follows Twilight and her friends into the Everfree Forest. “So, who is this Queen Chrysalis anyway?” Riley asks. “She’s a Changeling, Riley.” Twilight answers. “Most of the Changelings became good and transformed when we purified their hive, but Chrysalis stayed in her old ugly self.” “Does she hate everyone else?” Huey asks, hoping for a yes so she and Stinkmeaner can sympathize. “Well, unfortunately yes. We’ve tried numerous times to convince her that there’s nothing wrong with having friendships, but she wouldn’t listen.” Twilight responds. “Guys!” Fluttershy says in tone slightly louder than her usual tone. “Look! I found her!” She says as the rest of them see Queen Chrysalis in a heavily wooded area, surrounded by trees, crying. “Queen Chrysalis!” Twilight exclaims as she runs to her alone. “What are you doing here?” “What does it look like?” Chrysalis asks sarcastically. “I have no one to feed on, and no minions after the hive left me. What do you want?” Twilight gets an idea. “I think I know someone who’d love to meet you. I want to help.” “Are you sure?” Chrysalis asks, looking up. “For sure. He’d love to meet you. He loves evil things.” Twilight says as the squad treks back to Ponyville, managing to stay hidden from Stinkmeaner. “Don’t be shy, just talk to him!” Fluttershy insists, shoving her out in Stinkmeaner’s line of sight, through the flames. “Whaddya you want, dumbass pony nyikkuh?” Stinkmeaner says to Chrysalis. “Well, you seem like a pretty bad dude. I like bad dudes.” Chrysalis says, her evil side showing. “Bullshit! Stinkmeaner don’t need no friends!” He growls at Chrysalis, threatening to assault her with his cane. “I insist. I might be a great asset in your destruction. You hate ponies, don’t you?” She says as she shows off her shapeshifting abilities, transforming into different races, such as a pony, a dragon, and finally a copy of Stinkmeaner, causing him to gasp. “Heh, haha! I sure do! I mean, I hate everything in general, but horses quite a lot!” Stinkmeaner does a small laugh, as does Queen Chrysalis. “I hate ponies too!” She giggles evilly with Stinkmeaner, before the group of friends notice Stinkmeaner losing his power as his eyes start glowing. “Whu-wuss happening! Gah! I’ve been tricked! AHHH!!!” He screams as blinding green beams shoot out of his eyes, mouth, and ears. “I know those Freeman boys are behind this! I’m gonna get you two! You hear me! Gahhhh!” He continues as he feels himself descending back down to Hell, leaving Queen Chrysalis in tears while the rest of the Ponyville citizens come out and rejoice. “B-but... We were just warming up! Was this a trick?” Chrysalis asks impatiently. “For lack of a better word,” Applejack says, “Yes.” “I’ll get revenge on you! All of you! And you non-ponies two!” Chrysalis shouts as she looks at the two humans, Huey and Riley, then flies away. “Well, that’s that.” Huey says, glad that Stinkmeaner has been stopped. “Now where’s all that good shit you promised us?” Riley asks brashly. “Princess Celestia!” Twilight Sparkle shouts, looking up and prostrating herself in reverence as she notices Celestia flying down to Ponyville. Huey notices the rest of the ponies and kneels out of respect. “Greetings, Princess Twilight Sparkle.” Princess Celestia commends Twilight on her valiant efforts. “With your efforts combined with those of our friends from outside Equestria, we were able to stop Stinkmeaner.” “It was our honor, Celestia.” Twilight responds. “And you, Huey Freeman.” Celestia approaches the boy and lifts his head. “I know how much you appreciate reading, and I’m here to reward you. All the libraries in Canterlot are now available at your disposal. That is, assuming you’d still like to stay here.” “Count me in.” Huey says, thinking about how much he hates his modern society back home. “Yeah, yeah, she forgets about the nigga who did all the work.” Riley says, just gloating his victory, not even kneeling. “As for you, Riley, we haven’t forgot about your initial request. We’ll have some reward money and clothes for you.” Celestia continues. “Aww, for real! Yesssss!” He smiles, doing a fist pump. Celestia giggles. “We’ll send some ponies to help with the repairs for Ponyville. In the meantime, you two can stay in Canterlot with me.” “I dunno what Canterlot is, but awesome! We getting to hang out with a real princess!” Riley says, smiling. Uncle Ruckus Comes to EquestriaAuthor's Note UPDATE: I am loving writing this fanfiction, but I am a busy college student. Regardless, I will update this fanfiction as best I can frequently! Thanks for reading! Uncle Ruckus Comes to Equestria "God, I swear I work my ass off every single day in this town." An obese dark skinned man with revitiligo is sweating as he labors at one of his 32 jobs. "Working all these jobs just ain't what it used to be. Matter of fact, I ain't seen those Freeman boys anytime soon. I think I might take a trip over to check on Robert." As he says that in his slurred tone, he begins to walk over to the Freeman residence. When he finally arrives, he notices a green glowing light in the living room. "What the hell?" The man says to himself before opening the door to their house and walking closer to the light, which was in fact a portal to Equestria. He walks closer and closer, before it soon engulfs him completely, and he finds himself outside a regal looking city atop a waterfall. He starts panicking. He has no idea where he is, or how to get home. "Well, I suppose I might as w-well go to that city. Maybe someone there knows what's going on." As he walks closer to the city, several colorful ponies outside the city are giving him strange looks. It appears they're not quite used to seeing humans. As he proceeds to walk down the streets, he is eventually stopped by some pony guards. "Who are you?" One guard asks him. "State your name and business." The dark skinned man starts stammering. "M-my name's Uncle Ruckus, no relation. But what happened was I was just walking and I done ended up here somehow." "A likely story. Tell it to her Majesty, punk." The guard speaks gruffly as he raises a spear at Uncle Ruckus, causing him to cower. "P-please, do not kill me! I have no idea how I ended up here! You gotta believe me!" He continues, on his knees. Suddenly, an angelic voice is heard in the distance, and a beautiful white pony is seen flying towards the group. "What is going on here?" She says, and the guards immediately back away from Ruckus. "Princess, we found this man in the city. He's been attracting a lot of attention. What do you want us to do with him?" One guard asks her. "I'll take it from here." The princess tells the guards and puts a hoof on Ruckus's shoulder. "Come with me, sir." The princess further says as she leads Uncle Ruckus into her castle, into a wide hallway. "Well, thank you very, very much for helping me out there, ma'am. Who are you?" He asks, touching his neck in discomfort. The princess giggles. "Why, I am one of the princesses of this kingdom. You can just call me Celestia." She says as she smiles at Uncle Ruckus. "Oh, Celestia?" Uncle Ruckus looks at her beautiful flowing mane. "I must say, that's quite a beautiful name. The perfect beautiful name to compliment your lovely white fur, ma'am." "Oh?" The princess blushes and giggles at his compliments. "Why, that's very kind of you!" "Yes, I mean it. White is the best color any being can be, human or otherwise. I was unlucky, as I was stricken with the heartbreak known as revitiligo." He continues babbling on, confusing the princess. "That's when your skin gets blacker and darker every year." "Oh, really?" The princess says, confused but not wanting Ruckus to know that. "Well, regardless of that, you're welcome to stay in my palace for the time being." "Ah, watch me get ahead of myself." He says, touching his neck again. "It's very kind of you to let me stay here, but I need to prove my worth. I've been a hard worker where I'm from, and I need to repay your immense kindness. Tell me what you need done, and I'll do it, your majesty." "Oh, well…" Celestia looks at her schedule. Almost all her tasks are done for the day, except one: Find a new soldier for Prince Shining Armor's unit. Alas, she doesn't know if he's fit for the task. After all, the man standing in front of her is an obese balding man. "There is one thing, but you don't have to do it…" "What is it? Please, tell me!" He insists in his slurred voice. "Well, we need to find a new soldier for Prince Shining Armor's unit, but I don't know how well you can fight." She does a polite grin. "You don't need to-" "Fighting?" Uncle Ruckus smiles and looks up. "Well, I'll be! That's the perfect job for me! I'll have you know, I have mastered the ancient and deadly art of the nunchaku. I promise I won't let Prince… whatshisname down." "Oh, really?" Princess Celestia smirks a little, deciding to test his mettle. "Let's prove that you are as strong as you say, shall we?" As she says that, her horn starts to glow, and several of Shining Armor's soldiers appear around Uncle Ruckus. "Oh, let's get this party started!" He smiles as he pulls out his nunchaku, then begins to fight the soldiers surrounding him. He does a masterful set of swings with his weapon and other fighting techniques, dodging blows from the soldiers left and right. After a matter of minutes, all the combatants are tuckered out, but Ruckus certainly did prove his strength. As he catches his breath, a masculine voice is heard entering the hallway. "Whoa, that was incredible!" The voice says as a pure white pony with a blue mane is in awe of Ruckus's fighting prowess. "Name's Prince Shining Armor. Pleased to make your acquaintance!" "Wha-wha-wha…!" Ruckus stammers as the prince approaches him. "You're the prince who's army I'll be joining?" "That's right! And I'm expecting great things from you, new recruit." Prince Shining Armor continues, while Ruckus is just in awe at his beautiful whiteness. "Oh, golly… You are just the most blessed, white creature I have ever done seen. I wish I could have my skin to be half as white as yours." He babbles, while Shining Armor and Celestia look at each other in confusion. "Either way, we're glad to have you." Celestia says. "As a matter of fact, Ruckus, there were two other beings with similar stature of yours who I am also accommodating at my palace. Would you like to meet them?" "Oh, certainly." He says, not knowing what to expect. The princess leads Ruckus to a bedroom where, unbeknownst to him, Huey and Riley are inside. She opens the door, and the two kids see Celestia with Uncle Ruckus. "What!?" Huey gasps. "Huh!?" Uncle Ruckus shrieks. "The hell!?" Riley is just as confused. Huey and Riley Start School"Huey and Riley Freeman!" Uncle Ruckus shouts. "What the hell are y'all two negroes doing here in the pony world?" "I could ask you the same thing, Uncle Ruckus!" Huey comments, proceeding to tell his story. "We just saved this whole world from Stinkmeaner, and the princess is letting us live here!" "And Prince Shining something-or-other has invited me to be a soldier in his army!" Uncle Ruckus retorts. "And I intend to serve this incredibly white and handsome pony to the best of my abilities!" Shining Armor and Celestia, meanwhile, are quietly listening, when Shining Armor decides to pipe in. "You guys know each other?" He is clearly confused at the whole debacle going on. "Yeah, and this Uncle Ruckus is a real bitch ass nigga! He hates us!" Riley adds angrily. "Well, you two are the worst kids I ever had the misfortune of running into in my former janitorial duties at the school!" He responds. "Whoa now, please calm down." Celestia chimes in to bring reason into the conversation. "Huey, Riley, you will still need to go to school here, as youthful as you two are. You both have much to learn." "Oh, shit!" Riley grunts. "School is for suckas." "Be grateful your African monkey asses can even go to school!" Uncle Ruckus adds a racial comment against the two. Riley gets angry and prepares to punch Uncle Ruckus, but Celestia teleports herself between the two parties. "All of you! Calm down!" She raises her voice, then takes a deep breath to calm herself down. "I understand that this new experience might be rather difficult for you all. But I know exactly who can help you boys get adjusted to a new school. She actually is the guidance counselor at a prestigious friendship academy." "A prestigious academy?" Huey is intrigued. "Where is it?" "Well, it's actually in Ponyville, the same spot Stinkmeaner attacked when he came to our world." Celestia adds. "Don't worry, the town is nearly completely repaired. I'm sure everyone at the school would love to see some new faces." She beams a smile. "Shining Armor, why don't you take Uncle Ruckus to the barracks. I'll show the boys around the school." "Yes, your majesty." Shining Armor agrees, leading Uncle Ruckus to the train station en route to the Crystal Empire. Meanwhile, Princess Celestia uses her magic to teleport the three of them (Huey, Riley and herself) to Ponyville, right outside Twilight's school of friendship. "And here we are. Starlight Glimmer might know a great way to help you two feel welcome at this school." Celestia leads the two of them to outside her office and knocks on the door. "Come in!" A voice inside says, signaling them to come in. Inside, a pink pony with a mostly purple mane greets the three as they walk in. "Hello, Princess Celestia! Who do you have here?" "These are Huey and Riley, the two humans who saved Equestria from Stinkmeaner. I expect they will have a nice role to play at Headmare Twilight's school." Celestia says. "Should we give them the grand tour? I have work to do, so I'll leave them with you if that's okay." "That sounds like a wonderful idea!" Starlight Glimmer says as she leads the two humans around the school and Celestia teleports back to Canterlot. Huey is in awe of the amazing architecture the school offers. "Question, Mrs. Starlight." Huey asks. "What kinds of classes are taught here?" "Good question, Huey!" Starlight says. "Well, we teach general courses in science and other boring stuff, but what's most special are the classes corresponding to the 6 Elements of Harmony: Honesty, Laughter, Loyalty, Kindness, Generosity, and Magic." "Elements of Harmony, huh?" Huey says, having never heard of these Elements before. "I don't think I've read about those before." "Well, classes are currently in session, but when they finish, we'll be able to have you two sit down and talk with the professors." Starlight continues. "In the meantime, let's take a walk around the town." As Starlight Glimmer walks the boys around the town of Ponyville, Shining Armor is at the Crystal Empire to show Uncle Ruckus his role as a soldier in his unit. "Okay, Uncle Ruckus. We'll need you to first do some training here to refine your abilities. Then we'll give you some real assignments. Think you can handle it?" Shining Armor asks. "Oh, lawd, I've been ready for this since I done came into this pony world." He says, starting to warm up. A few hours pass, and Uncle Ruckus is done with his training, and he hits the showers. Meanwhile, the boys have just finished their tour of Ponyville. They took trips to Sweet Apple Acres, Sugar Cube Corner, and Carousel Boutique, as well as the other hot spots. "Ooh, just in time!" Starlight says. "Looks like the professors are all done with their classes. I can't wait to introduce you to them! Come on!" With an excited demeanor, she gallops back to the academy, while Huey and Riley try to catch up. When they finally arrive, Huey and Riley are out of breath. "Couldn't you have slowed down a second?" Riley asks, panting. "Sorry, guys. I'm just so excited! We're getting new students!" Starlight says as she leads the two to Headmare Twilight's office, where the other 5 professors happen to be. "Wait, what!" Rainbow Dash flies up excitedly. "So you two are going to be students at our school?" "That's right!" Starlight comments. "Celestia's orders. Anyway, I believe some introductions are due. Why don't you each spend some time with them individually? I'm sure they could learn a lot just being with you all." "Count us in!" Twilight adds. "Any friend of Starlight's is a friend of mine! Oh, this is so exciting! We're really having the humans who defeated Stinkmeaner going to our school!" "Introductions will start tomorrow. In the meantime, it's about time to sleep. Why don't we show Huey and Riley to their dorms?" Rarity suggests. "Fine. But don't forget, you still owe me that new outfit!" Riley comments brashly. "Oh, darling!" Rarity laughs at his request. "I'm working on it. Shouldn't take more than a week to finish. You can't rush art!" "Fine, I guess." Riley says as the ponies lead the boys to their rooms. Once there, the humans begin to get ready for bed. "Hey, Riley." Huey says, once they both are in bed. "Yeah?" "Don't you wonder why these ponies are being so hospitable to us?" "Didn't they have that whole elements of harmony thing going on?" Riley retorts. "I ain't complaining. They being nice to us." "I suppose. Well, goodnight." A Day with Pinkie“Moooorning!” An excited, high pitched voice is the first thing the two boys hear in their dorms. “I’m Pinkie Pie and I’ll be hanging out with you two today!” She is clearly very excited to do her introductions with the boys. Riley covers his ears with a pillow. “Damn! Is it time to get up already?” Huey yawns as he gets out of bed. “Well, it is already 8:00 AM. We should probably get ready.” “Oooh, you’re going to have so much fun today! We’re going to learn all about laughter! That’s my favorite Element of Harmony. I’ve also prepared a great breakfast for you both!” Pinkie giddily bounces around, leading the two to the breakfast table where there lie tons of delicious foods. There are pancakes, biscuits, waffles, whatever these boys desire. “Oh, for real?!” Riley is in disbelief as he makes a tall plate of tasty food. “That’s… very kind of you, Pinkie.” Huey says stoically as he begins to get his food. “Heehee! Anytime. I just love seeing my friends smile!” Pinkie adds as she smiles big. “And after we’re done, we’re going to play some games, and then we can work on parties, and then-“ “We get it, Pinkie. Just let us eat for now!” Riley says sternly, staring at Pinkie. “Oh, fiiiine.” She smiles and also grabs herself a nice plate of food while the boys eat. After everyone is through with their breakfast, Pinkie gets excited again. “Okay, boys! Now it’s time for your lessons today! What should we do first?” “Ooh! Ooh!” Riley chimes in. “Can we play some games? I’m already pretty good at games. I don’t know how well Huey will do at that, though. He sucks.” “Riley, I beat you eighteen games out of twenty last time we played NBA 2K.” “Nigga! Did I ask you? You always have to stick your nose into every single damn thing.” “Boys! Boys! Calm down!” Pinkie Pie adds, sticking herself between the two, and hugging them to her. “We can start with games, but I want you both to play nicely!” “Let go of me, Pinkie!” Riley shouts, struggling to get out of the hug. She lets him go. “Okay, now let’s go play some games!” Pinkie says as she leads the boys to a park. “We’re going to start with buckball!” “Buckball…” Huey says to himself. “I’ve never heard of that. How do you play?” “Well, it’s easy! Each team has an earth pony, a unicorn, and a pegasus. The earth ponies have to try to get the ball into the basket that their teams’ unicorn will control, while the other teams’ pegasus will try to block the ball. First to five wins. Got all that?” Pinkie explains. “Since you can’t fly or use magic, you will play on opposing teams as earth ponies. And we’ll also let you pick teams!” “Oh, sweet! Imma team captain!” Riley says excitedly. “Who do we have to choose from?” “Gooood question! Well, we were only able to 2 pegasi and 2 unicorns on such short notice. Here they are!” Pinkie signals to a field, where stands Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, Twilight Sparkle, and Rarity. “Oh! Oh! Rarity, you’re the one who finna make me that outfit! I want you on my team!” Riley shouts as he points over to Rarity. “Very well.” Rarity smiles and walks next to Riley. “That means Huey will have Twilight on his team. Now, since Riley chose the unicorn first, Huey has first choice for pegasus.” Huey looks at both Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy. Rainbow Dash is sweating profusely with an expectant face, really wanting to be on Huey’s team. “I’ll take Rainbow Dash-” “Yesss!!!” She flies a few loops in the air, getting her competitive spirit up. “You’re going down, Riley!” “Fine, I didn’t even want you on my team. By the way, you gay as hell.” “What did you say?” Rainbow Dash gets angry and flies up in Riley’s face. “You’re gonna pay for that! I’m gonna beat you so hard you’re going to wish you never came here!” “Fine! Damn!” Riley says as he walks over to his team of Rarity and Fluttershy, leaving Huey with Twilight and Rainbow Dash. “Oookay… well, let’s begin!” Both teams take their place, Huey and Riley both in the middle. Pinkie Pie blows a whistle then tosses a ball at the middle, where Riley grabs it first. “Take that!” He says as he tosses it into Rarity’s goal, but Rainbow blocks it and tosses it to Huey, who grabs it and skillfully throws a curveball around Fluttershy and into Twilight’s goal, scoring a point. “Damn! You cheated, Huey!” Riley says again, bickering with a sore loser attitude. “It’s not my fault I actually practice sports.” Huey responds, emotionless. However, out in the distance, a klutzy draconequus notices the group of ponies and humans playing. He teleports over to them. “Whoa, there! Are you guys playing sports?” He asks, placing himself between Huey and Riley. “Discord!” Twilight groans. “What are you doing here?” “Well, I was just in town, and I saw my friends here! I thought I’d drop in and say hi and-“ He sees the two humans. “Oooh! Who are your new friends?” He picks them up, one in each hand. “This is Huey and Riley, and don’t even think about hurting them!” Twilight continues. “Why, me? Hahaha, I wouldn’t dream of it!” He turns over to Riley. “So, you’re not ponies, I can see. You must be from another dimension. Do the folks in your dimension dress like this?” As he says that, he sets the boys down and snaps his fingers, dressing himself up in traditional “gangsta swag”, with a gold chain, beanie, and platinum teeth. “Unfortunately, yes.” Huey says, looking over to Riley, who is ecstatic. “Whoa! Discord, how’d you know that!” “I tend to dabble in the customs of other dimensions. Hey, wanna see something coooool?” He snaps his fingers again and dresses Riley up in some designer brand Gucci clothes. “Nigga, I like your style.” Riley smiles at Discord, laughing a little. “What else can you do?” “Oh, maybe something like- hey, what’s that?” Discord points behind Riley. “Huh?” Riley turns around, only to see a golden statue of himself. “Whoa! You are awesome, Discord!” “Hahaha, I’m glad you like it. Now Huey, what’s your deal? Why are you upset? Maybe you should turn that frown upside down.” He snaps his fingers and forces a smile on Huey’s face with Chaos magic. However, it doesn’t stay that way for long, and Huey returns to his stoic look again. “What the heck, Discord?” Huey says, getting up in Discord’s face. “What was that for?” “Oh, you’re no fun.” Discord says as he trips Huey with his tail. “Oops!” Huey sighs and gets up, walking away from everyone else. “Hey, where’s he going?” Discord calls out. “I just wanted to have fun.” “I’ll go check on him.” Pinkie Pie says as she hops around, looking for him. She eventually finds Huey, sitting calmly on a tree trunk reading a book. “Huey, what’s wrong?” Pinkie says, sitting down with him. “I need to calm down after that… encounter.” Huey says, turning a page. “You’re just reading? You don’t want to do anything fun?” She asks, confused. “Pinkie Pie…” Huey looks at her. “People express their joy in different ways. I get joy out of reading. Riley gets joy out of rapping and competing. And yeah, I don’t smile a lot. Can you understand what I mean, Pinkie?” Pinkie agrees, remembering how she became friends with Cranky Doodle Donkey. “Yes, I do. And if you just want to read, go ahead and do that!” “Actually, I have some unfinished business. We never got an outcome on that game.” Huey says, getting up. “Can you take us back to the buckball field?” “Of course!” Pinkie says, leading Huey back to the field, where they spend the rest of the day playing buckball and having fun. Eventually, the boys head back to their rooms in the school and get ready to sleep. “That was pretty fun. I wonder when I’ll see Discord again.” Riley says, smiling as he gets in bed. “Sure thing, Riley. I wonder who will teach us tomorrow.” Huey says, turning in for the night, thinking about what pony will teach them the next day.
Stinkmeaner: Part 1Throughout all the reaches of Equestria, there have been countless monsters that have threatened peace there. Nightmare Moon, Discord, Queen Chrysalis, King Sombra, Tirek, Cozy Glow, the Storm King, and more reigned and were eventually defeated or pacified by the group we call the Mane 6. Twilight Sparkle, Applejack, Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, and Rarity thought they could handle anything. But little did they know, their world was about to change forever, as a brand new villain, the likes of which have never been seen before, was about to show up in Equestria. Princess Twilight Sparkle was hard at work in her school in Ponyville, managing the daily activities, designing friendship lessons for all the students, and making sure everyone gets along. Meanwhile, the rest of the ponies are out doing what they do best. Applejack was harvesting apples at Sweet Apple Acres. Pinkie Pie was serving treats to her customers at Sugar Cube Corner. Fluttershy was tending to the animals in need at her animal sanctuary. Rainbow Dash was doing Wonderbolt training for a new show. Rarity was working on new outfits at the Carousel Boutique. Pinkie Pie was on her way to deliver some tasty baked goods to a customer when she sees a strange creature in the distance. It appears to be a tall, bipedal creature with brown skin and a balding head, with a cane. Pinkie dismisses it as nonsense and delivers the goods. After the delivery, however, the creature appears almost right in front of her. “Whaddaya think you’re doing, pussy punk bitch?” He asks, pointing his cane at her. “Oooh! Is that a traditional greeting where you’re from? I’ve never seen you around here! I’m Pinkie Pie! What’s your name?” She asks, shaking the man’s hand. “Colonel muthafuckin Stinkmeaner didn’t come here to make friends!” He slaps her hand away as she tries to shake it. “He came here to FUCK SHIT UP!” “Surely there’s something you need? What will it take to make you smile? I’ve helped everypony in this town, and I’m sure I can help you!” She giggles, oblivious to his true intentions. “You can help yourself by getting yo ass the FUCK outta here! Go on, shoo!” He says rudely as he hits her with his cane repeatedly, causing her to shriek. “Ouch! That’s no way to greet friends!” She squeaks as she scrunches up into a ball on the ground. “Fuck you horse muthafuckas! Imma tear this whole place down to the ground!” He adds rudely, beating her up more. “I just wanted to be friends!” She cries as she runs to Twilight’s castle for help on this situation. Shortly after, everyone is gathered at Twilight’s castle. All the Mane 6 are there, as well as Starlight, but Pinkie Pie is sobbing in her chair. “Whoa, Pinkie Pie!” Twilight is startled. “What’s got you so down?” “It’s... there was some mean guy earlier! I just wanted to be friends with him, and he beat me up!” She says, choking back tears. “Calm down, sugar cube.” Applejack says as she pats Pinkie’s back. “It’s probably just Cranky Doodle having another bad day.” “Oh, darling.” Rarity comments as she watches. “We just need to talk to him. Surely we can get him to understand.” “That’s the ticket!” Starlight Glimmer adds as she speaks up. “Yes, I agree!” Fluttershy adds, flying overhead. “If one of my animals has a bad day, I just let them talk, and they always feel better.” “Umm, guys?” Rainbow blurts, taking a look outside the castle and into the town of Ponyville. “If that’s who we’re talking about, I don’t think reason is an option.” As the rest of the mane 6 look, they see flames outside consuming most of the buildings and ponies running around panicking. However, they also see a silhouette of what doesn’t look like a pony. “That’s him!” Pinkie screams as she sees the man through the fire. “What should we do, Twilight?” “We’re going to need to call the princesses. They’d know what to do.” She says as her dragon friend Spike runs in quickly and belches out a letter. “I just got this from the princesses!” He hurriedly squeaks as he catches his breath, and Twilight picks it up. “Dear Princess Twilight.” She says, reading the letter. “We are afraid the calamity has reached Ponyville. This mission is not one that can be so easily solved with just the 7 of you ponies and Spike. You will need to breach dimensions to solve this problem. First you will need to gather something belonging to the monster to find what dimension it hails from, then you will cast the enclosed spell to be transported to his dimension. Once there, you will need to recruit help in that dimension who can help you fight the beast, who is known as Stinkmeaner.” She reads in shock. “Well, what are we waiting for?” Applejack blurts. “We can’t let Equestria get burned up. Let’s go out there and find something of his! We’ll meet back at the castle in a few minutes.” She says as all the ponies run outside the castle in separate directions to find a tool they can use. Each of the ponies searches discreetly for something belonging to Stinkmeaner, not wanting to be found by the crazy old nigga. After a few minutes pass, all the ponies are gathered at the castle. “No luck at the ruins of Golden Oak Library.” Twilight says as she hangs her head, dejectedly. “Nothing at Sweet Apple Acres either.” Applejack shakes her head. “No dice at Sugar Cube Corner!” Pinkie Pie sits down, hooves crossed. “I couldn’t find anything near Carousel Boutique!” Rarity says, starting to tear up. “Turns out nobody in Cloudsdale even knows about this menace!” Rainbow Dash comments. “Well, the animals did find this.” Fluttershy says softly as she hands Pinkie Pie a lock of gray hair that didn’t come from anyone’s mane. “Hey, what’s this? Gray hair?” She picks it up and sniffs it. “I know every pony and animal in town and what their manes and fur smell like, and I know for a fact that this isn’t any of theirs! This has to belong to Stinkmeaner!” “Great, great.” Rainbow Dash adds brashly. “I did not need to know that. Now let’s cast that spell and recruit some help!” Following that encounter, they run back inside the castle and prepare a circle, placing Stinkmeaner’s hair in the middle as Twilight casts the spell enclosed in the letter. Equestria will never be the same again.
Stinkmeaner: Part 2“Now, you two niggas better behave while I’m gone!” An ornery African American granddad says to his two grandchildren before he leaves home to go drinking. “And I’m putting Huey in charge!” “Damn, Granddad! Why you gotta always put Huey in charge!” One of his grandsons comments rudely. “Remember what happened the last time you put him in charge? The house almost got destroyed!” “Only because you spent all our food money on gangsta clothes. I did what anybody would have done.” The other grandson says to his brother Riley. “I don’t care! Just don’t leave the place looking like the next Hiroshima!” Granddad grunts as he leaves the house. Huey turns to his brother Riley. “While granddad is gone, I’m in-“ “Yeah, yeah, I know. Don’t worry about me, I’m just gonna be playing video games the whole time, you won’t even know I’m here.” “Whatever, just stay out of trouble.” Huey says as he sits down on the couch to read about politics and philosophy, while Riley is sitting on the loveseat with a handheld video game system. Suddenly, a small rift appears to form in the living room, slowly getting bigger and bigger. Huey looks up and tries to alert Riley. “Riley, what is that?” “I ain’t falling for it.” “Riley, there’s a portal opening up in our living room right here.” He says as the portal keeps expanding. “Nigga! I know you bullshitting me!” Riley says as he finally looks up and gasps, seeing a green portal being opened up, as suddenly 6 ponies and a small dragon step out. As he sees them, he nearly screams his head off. “Who are you?” Huey asks as he leaps from the sofa and gets in a karate pose. Twilight is the first to speak up. “We mean no harm, but we have a huge problem in our world that only you can solve.” “That’s right.” Applejack adds. “Have y’all heard the name Stinkmeaner before?” “Stinkmeaner!” Huey exclaims, his jaw dropping and guard lowering. “So he can breach dimensions now? What does he want with you?” “I’m Stinkmeaner and I wanna fuck shit up!” Pinkie Pie says in her impression of Stinkmeaner. “Something like that.” Classic Stinkmeaner. “I don’t care who you are, we need to help you. We can’t let Stinkmeaner keep going crazy.” Huey says, his sense of right taking over. “Pssh, yeah right.” Riley scoffs. “What’s in it for us?” “Whatever you want.” Twilight pleads. “Gold, clothes, gemstones, name your price.” “Aight, I’m in.” Riley admits. “All that sounds nice, when can we leave?” Rainbow Dash pipes in, shoving the two into the portal. “Right now!” “Whoa, wait wait wait! I need my arsenal!” Riley tries halting the ponies, but to no avail, as the two of them are already inside the portal and in Equestria, appearing back in Twilight’s castle, gathering around Twilight’s table. “So, what do you both know about Stinkmeaner?” Spike asks the two humans. “By the way, what are your names?” “He’s a bitch ass nigga, that’s what!” Riley responds furiously, doing hand motions that scare Fluttershy. “Yeah, and I’m Riley Freeman and that’s my punk ass brother Huey Freeman.” Huey rolls his eyes. “Anything actually useful, darlings?” Rarity asks, as Riley gets mad at being called “darling”. “He’s a mean old black man who we killed about a year ago. He somehow came back from the dead afterwards, though, and possessed our friend Tom. We do have an idea of how to stop him.” Huey tactfully explains. “Please tell us, please tell us!” Pinkie Pie begs, and Huey sighs. “What we need to do is find a bad enough monster out there that Stinkmeaner can empathize with. Most likely, what’s fueling his rage is an unfinished nigga moment. However, where there’s harmony and peace, a nigga moment cannot exist.” Huey finishes. “Why can’t we just whoop his ass?” Rainbow Dash asks as she does a few punches while floating. “That ain’t gonna work.” Riley adds, dejectedly. “As much as I’d like to, he trained like a beast in hell. He could take us all on. We need to find someone he can talk to.” “So, the answer is clear. Do you guys know any bad... creatures around here who hate everything?” Huey asks, not sure how to refer to creatures in the other world. “Well, it seems like we’re just the ponies to solve this problem. We know all about friendship and harmony!” Twilight smiles. “We also know just the creature who can sympathize with Stinkmeaner.” “Umm, that’s Queen Chrysalis, right?” Fluttershy asks in her quiet tone of voice. “I’m afraid so, Fluttershy.” Applejack adds, feeling there is no other option. “But where would she be?” Rainbow Dash asks. “Last time we saw her was on a camping trip in the Everfree Forest.” “Then that’s where we’ll look.” Huey commands as he looks outside and sees the ruins of Ponyville, sighing deeply. After that, he follows Twilight and her friends into the Everfree Forest. “So, who is this Queen Chrysalis anyway?” Riley asks. “She’s a Changeling, Riley.” Twilight answers. “Most of the Changelings became good and transformed when we purified their hive, but Chrysalis stayed in her old ugly self.” “Does she hate everyone else?” Huey asks, hoping for a yes so she and Stinkmeaner can sympathize. “Well, unfortunately yes. We’ve tried numerous times to convince her that there’s nothing wrong with having friendships, but she wouldn’t listen.” Twilight responds. “Guys!” Fluttershy says in tone slightly louder than her usual tone. “Look! I found her!” She says as the rest of them see Queen Chrysalis in a heavily wooded area, surrounded by trees, crying. “Queen Chrysalis!” Twilight exclaims as she runs to her alone. “What are you doing here?” “What does it look like?” Chrysalis asks sarcastically. “I have no one to feed on, and no minions after the hive left me. What do you want?” Twilight gets an idea. “I think I know someone who’d love to meet you. I want to help.” “Are you sure?” Chrysalis asks, looking up. “For sure. He’d love to meet you. He loves evil things.” Twilight says as the squad treks back to Ponyville, managing to stay hidden from Stinkmeaner. “Don’t be shy, just talk to him!” Fluttershy insists, shoving her out in Stinkmeaner’s line of sight, through the flames. “Whaddya you want, dumbass pony nyikkuh?” Stinkmeaner says to Chrysalis. “Well, you seem like a pretty bad dude. I like bad dudes.” Chrysalis says, her evil side showing. “Bullshit! Stinkmeaner don’t need no friends!” He growls at Chrysalis, threatening to assault her with his cane. “I insist. I might be a great asset in your destruction. You hate ponies, don’t you?” She says as she shows off her shapeshifting abilities, transforming into different races, such as a pony, a dragon, and finally a copy of Stinkmeaner, causing him to gasp. “Heh, haha! I sure do! I mean, I hate everything in general, but horses quite a lot!” Stinkmeaner does a small laugh, as does Queen Chrysalis. “I hate ponies too!” She giggles evilly with Stinkmeaner, before the group of friends notice Stinkmeaner losing his power as his eyes start glowing. “Whu-wuss happening! Gah! I’ve been tricked! AHHH!!!” He screams as blinding green beams shoot out of his eyes, mouth, and ears. “I know those Freeman boys are behind this! I’m gonna get you two! You hear me! Gahhhh!” He continues as he feels himself descending back down to Hell, leaving Queen Chrysalis in tears while the rest of the Ponyville citizens come out and rejoice. “B-but... We were just warming up! Was this a trick?” Chrysalis asks impatiently. “For lack of a better word,” Applejack says, “Yes.” “I’ll get revenge on you! All of you! And you non-ponies two!” Chrysalis shouts as she looks at the two humans, Huey and Riley, then flies away. “Well, that’s that.” Huey says, glad that Stinkmeaner has been stopped. “Now where’s all that good shit you promised us?” Riley asks brashly. “Princess Celestia!” Twilight Sparkle shouts, looking up and prostrating herself in reverence as she notices Celestia flying down to Ponyville. Huey notices the rest of the ponies and kneels out of respect. “Greetings, Princess Twilight Sparkle.” Princess Celestia commends Twilight on her valiant efforts. “With your efforts combined with those of our friends from outside Equestria, we were able to stop Stinkmeaner.” “It was our honor, Celestia.” Twilight responds. “And you, Huey Freeman.” Celestia approaches the boy and lifts his head. “I know how much you appreciate reading, and I’m here to reward you. All the libraries in Canterlot are now available at your disposal. That is, assuming you’d still like to stay here.” “Count me in.” Huey says, thinking about how much he hates his modern society back home. “Yeah, yeah, she forgets about the nigga who did all the work.” Riley says, just gloating his victory, not even kneeling. “As for you, Riley, we haven’t forgot about your initial request. We’ll have some reward money and clothes for you.” Celestia continues. “Aww, for real! Yesssss!” He smiles, doing a fist pump. Celestia giggles. “We’ll send some ponies to help with the repairs for Ponyville. In the meantime, you two can stay in Canterlot with me.” “I dunno what Canterlot is, but awesome! We getting to hang out with a real princess!” Riley says, smiling.
Uncle Ruckus Comes to EquestriaAuthor's Note UPDATE: I am loving writing this fanfiction, but I am a busy college student. Regardless, I will update this fanfiction as best I can frequently! Thanks for reading! Uncle Ruckus Comes to Equestria "God, I swear I work my ass off every single day in this town." An obese dark skinned man with revitiligo is sweating as he labors at one of his 32 jobs. "Working all these jobs just ain't what it used to be. Matter of fact, I ain't seen those Freeman boys anytime soon. I think I might take a trip over to check on Robert." As he says that in his slurred tone, he begins to walk over to the Freeman residence. When he finally arrives, he notices a green glowing light in the living room. "What the hell?" The man says to himself before opening the door to their house and walking closer to the light, which was in fact a portal to Equestria. He walks closer and closer, before it soon engulfs him completely, and he finds himself outside a regal looking city atop a waterfall. He starts panicking. He has no idea where he is, or how to get home. "Well, I suppose I might as w-well go to that city. Maybe someone there knows what's going on." As he walks closer to the city, several colorful ponies outside the city are giving him strange looks. It appears they're not quite used to seeing humans. As he proceeds to walk down the streets, he is eventually stopped by some pony guards. "Who are you?" One guard asks him. "State your name and business." The dark skinned man starts stammering. "M-my name's Uncle Ruckus, no relation. But what happened was I was just walking and I done ended up here somehow." "A likely story. Tell it to her Majesty, punk." The guard speaks gruffly as he raises a spear at Uncle Ruckus, causing him to cower. "P-please, do not kill me! I have no idea how I ended up here! You gotta believe me!" He continues, on his knees. Suddenly, an angelic voice is heard in the distance, and a beautiful white pony is seen flying towards the group. "What is going on here?" She says, and the guards immediately back away from Ruckus. "Princess, we found this man in the city. He's been attracting a lot of attention. What do you want us to do with him?" One guard asks her. "I'll take it from here." The princess tells the guards and puts a hoof on Ruckus's shoulder. "Come with me, sir." The princess further says as she leads Uncle Ruckus into her castle, into a wide hallway. "Well, thank you very, very much for helping me out there, ma'am. Who are you?" He asks, touching his neck in discomfort. The princess giggles. "Why, I am one of the princesses of this kingdom. You can just call me Celestia." She says as she smiles at Uncle Ruckus. "Oh, Celestia?" Uncle Ruckus looks at her beautiful flowing mane. "I must say, that's quite a beautiful name. The perfect beautiful name to compliment your lovely white fur, ma'am." "Oh?" The princess blushes and giggles at his compliments. "Why, that's very kind of you!" "Yes, I mean it. White is the best color any being can be, human or otherwise. I was unlucky, as I was stricken with the heartbreak known as revitiligo." He continues babbling on, confusing the princess. "That's when your skin gets blacker and darker every year." "Oh, really?" The princess says, confused but not wanting Ruckus to know that. "Well, regardless of that, you're welcome to stay in my palace for the time being." "Ah, watch me get ahead of myself." He says, touching his neck again. "It's very kind of you to let me stay here, but I need to prove my worth. I've been a hard worker where I'm from, and I need to repay your immense kindness. Tell me what you need done, and I'll do it, your majesty." "Oh, well…" Celestia looks at her schedule. Almost all her tasks are done for the day, except one: Find a new soldier for Prince Shining Armor's unit. Alas, she doesn't know if he's fit for the task. After all, the man standing in front of her is an obese balding man. "There is one thing, but you don't have to do it…" "What is it? Please, tell me!" He insists in his slurred voice. "Well, we need to find a new soldier for Prince Shining Armor's unit, but I don't know how well you can fight." She does a polite grin. "You don't need to-" "Fighting?" Uncle Ruckus smiles and looks up. "Well, I'll be! That's the perfect job for me! I'll have you know, I have mastered the ancient and deadly art of the nunchaku. I promise I won't let Prince… whatshisname down." "Oh, really?" Princess Celestia smirks a little, deciding to test his mettle. "Let's prove that you are as strong as you say, shall we?" As she says that, her horn starts to glow, and several of Shining Armor's soldiers appear around Uncle Ruckus. "Oh, let's get this party started!" He smiles as he pulls out his nunchaku, then begins to fight the soldiers surrounding him. He does a masterful set of swings with his weapon and other fighting techniques, dodging blows from the soldiers left and right. After a matter of minutes, all the combatants are tuckered out, but Ruckus certainly did prove his strength. As he catches his breath, a masculine voice is heard entering the hallway. "Whoa, that was incredible!" The voice says as a pure white pony with a blue mane is in awe of Ruckus's fighting prowess. "Name's Prince Shining Armor. Pleased to make your acquaintance!" "Wha-wha-wha…!" Ruckus stammers as the prince approaches him. "You're the prince who's army I'll be joining?" "That's right! And I'm expecting great things from you, new recruit." Prince Shining Armor continues, while Ruckus is just in awe at his beautiful whiteness. "Oh, golly… You are just the most blessed, white creature I have ever done seen. I wish I could have my skin to be half as white as yours." He babbles, while Shining Armor and Celestia look at each other in confusion. "Either way, we're glad to have you." Celestia says. "As a matter of fact, Ruckus, there were two other beings with similar stature of yours who I am also accommodating at my palace. Would you like to meet them?" "Oh, certainly." He says, not knowing what to expect. The princess leads Ruckus to a bedroom where, unbeknownst to him, Huey and Riley are inside. She opens the door, and the two kids see Celestia with Uncle Ruckus. "What!?" Huey gasps. "Huh!?" Uncle Ruckus shrieks. "The hell!?" Riley is just as confused.
Huey and Riley Start School"Huey and Riley Freeman!" Uncle Ruckus shouts. "What the hell are y'all two negroes doing here in the pony world?" "I could ask you the same thing, Uncle Ruckus!" Huey comments, proceeding to tell his story. "We just saved this whole world from Stinkmeaner, and the princess is letting us live here!" "And Prince Shining something-or-other has invited me to be a soldier in his army!" Uncle Ruckus retorts. "And I intend to serve this incredibly white and handsome pony to the best of my abilities!" Shining Armor and Celestia, meanwhile, are quietly listening, when Shining Armor decides to pipe in. "You guys know each other?" He is clearly confused at the whole debacle going on. "Yeah, and this Uncle Ruckus is a real bitch ass nigga! He hates us!" Riley adds angrily. "Well, you two are the worst kids I ever had the misfortune of running into in my former janitorial duties at the school!" He responds. "Whoa now, please calm down." Celestia chimes in to bring reason into the conversation. "Huey, Riley, you will still need to go to school here, as youthful as you two are. You both have much to learn." "Oh, shit!" Riley grunts. "School is for suckas." "Be grateful your African monkey asses can even go to school!" Uncle Ruckus adds a racial comment against the two. Riley gets angry and prepares to punch Uncle Ruckus, but Celestia teleports herself between the two parties. "All of you! Calm down!" She raises her voice, then takes a deep breath to calm herself down. "I understand that this new experience might be rather difficult for you all. But I know exactly who can help you boys get adjusted to a new school. She actually is the guidance counselor at a prestigious friendship academy." "A prestigious academy?" Huey is intrigued. "Where is it?" "Well, it's actually in Ponyville, the same spot Stinkmeaner attacked when he came to our world." Celestia adds. "Don't worry, the town is nearly completely repaired. I'm sure everyone at the school would love to see some new faces." She beams a smile. "Shining Armor, why don't you take Uncle Ruckus to the barracks. I'll show the boys around the school." "Yes, your majesty." Shining Armor agrees, leading Uncle Ruckus to the train station en route to the Crystal Empire. Meanwhile, Princess Celestia uses her magic to teleport the three of them (Huey, Riley and herself) to Ponyville, right outside Twilight's school of friendship. "And here we are. Starlight Glimmer might know a great way to help you two feel welcome at this school." Celestia leads the two of them to outside her office and knocks on the door. "Come in!" A voice inside says, signaling them to come in. Inside, a pink pony with a mostly purple mane greets the three as they walk in. "Hello, Princess Celestia! Who do you have here?" "These are Huey and Riley, the two humans who saved Equestria from Stinkmeaner. I expect they will have a nice role to play at Headmare Twilight's school." Celestia says. "Should we give them the grand tour? I have work to do, so I'll leave them with you if that's okay." "That sounds like a wonderful idea!" Starlight Glimmer says as she leads the two humans around the school and Celestia teleports back to Canterlot. Huey is in awe of the amazing architecture the school offers. "Question, Mrs. Starlight." Huey asks. "What kinds of classes are taught here?" "Good question, Huey!" Starlight says. "Well, we teach general courses in science and other boring stuff, but what's most special are the classes corresponding to the 6 Elements of Harmony: Honesty, Laughter, Loyalty, Kindness, Generosity, and Magic." "Elements of Harmony, huh?" Huey says, having never heard of these Elements before. "I don't think I've read about those before." "Well, classes are currently in session, but when they finish, we'll be able to have you two sit down and talk with the professors." Starlight continues. "In the meantime, let's take a walk around the town." As Starlight Glimmer walks the boys around the town of Ponyville, Shining Armor is at the Crystal Empire to show Uncle Ruckus his role as a soldier in his unit. "Okay, Uncle Ruckus. We'll need you to first do some training here to refine your abilities. Then we'll give you some real assignments. Think you can handle it?" Shining Armor asks. "Oh, lawd, I've been ready for this since I done came into this pony world." He says, starting to warm up. A few hours pass, and Uncle Ruckus is done with his training, and he hits the showers. Meanwhile, the boys have just finished their tour of Ponyville. They took trips to Sweet Apple Acres, Sugar Cube Corner, and Carousel Boutique, as well as the other hot spots. "Ooh, just in time!" Starlight says. "Looks like the professors are all done with their classes. I can't wait to introduce you to them! Come on!" With an excited demeanor, she gallops back to the academy, while Huey and Riley try to catch up. When they finally arrive, Huey and Riley are out of breath. "Couldn't you have slowed down a second?" Riley asks, panting. "Sorry, guys. I'm just so excited! We're getting new students!" Starlight says as she leads the two to Headmare Twilight's office, where the other 5 professors happen to be. "Wait, what!" Rainbow Dash flies up excitedly. "So you two are going to be students at our school?" "That's right!" Starlight comments. "Celestia's orders. Anyway, I believe some introductions are due. Why don't you each spend some time with them individually? I'm sure they could learn a lot just being with you all." "Count us in!" Twilight adds. "Any friend of Starlight's is a friend of mine! Oh, this is so exciting! We're really having the humans who defeated Stinkmeaner going to our school!" "Introductions will start tomorrow. In the meantime, it's about time to sleep. Why don't we show Huey and Riley to their dorms?" Rarity suggests. "Fine. But don't forget, you still owe me that new outfit!" Riley comments brashly. "Oh, darling!" Rarity laughs at his request. "I'm working on it. Shouldn't take more than a week to finish. You can't rush art!" "Fine, I guess." Riley says as the ponies lead the boys to their rooms. Once there, the humans begin to get ready for bed. "Hey, Riley." Huey says, once they both are in bed. "Yeah?" "Don't you wonder why these ponies are being so hospitable to us?" "Didn't they have that whole elements of harmony thing going on?" Riley retorts. "I ain't complaining. They being nice to us." "I suppose. Well, goodnight."
A Day with Pinkie“Moooorning!” An excited, high pitched voice is the first thing the two boys hear in their dorms. “I’m Pinkie Pie and I’ll be hanging out with you two today!” She is clearly very excited to do her introductions with the boys. Riley covers his ears with a pillow. “Damn! Is it time to get up already?” Huey yawns as he gets out of bed. “Well, it is already 8:00 AM. We should probably get ready.” “Oooh, you’re going to have so much fun today! We’re going to learn all about laughter! That’s my favorite Element of Harmony. I’ve also prepared a great breakfast for you both!” Pinkie giddily bounces around, leading the two to the breakfast table where there lie tons of delicious foods. There are pancakes, biscuits, waffles, whatever these boys desire. “Oh, for real?!” Riley is in disbelief as he makes a tall plate of tasty food. “That’s… very kind of you, Pinkie.” Huey says stoically as he begins to get his food. “Heehee! Anytime. I just love seeing my friends smile!” Pinkie adds as she smiles big. “And after we’re done, we’re going to play some games, and then we can work on parties, and then-“ “We get it, Pinkie. Just let us eat for now!” Riley says sternly, staring at Pinkie. “Oh, fiiiine.” She smiles and also grabs herself a nice plate of food while the boys eat. After everyone is through with their breakfast, Pinkie gets excited again. “Okay, boys! Now it’s time for your lessons today! What should we do first?” “Ooh! Ooh!” Riley chimes in. “Can we play some games? I’m already pretty good at games. I don’t know how well Huey will do at that, though. He sucks.” “Riley, I beat you eighteen games out of twenty last time we played NBA 2K.” “Nigga! Did I ask you? You always have to stick your nose into every single damn thing.” “Boys! Boys! Calm down!” Pinkie Pie adds, sticking herself between the two, and hugging them to her. “We can start with games, but I want you both to play nicely!” “Let go of me, Pinkie!” Riley shouts, struggling to get out of the hug. She lets him go. “Okay, now let’s go play some games!” Pinkie says as she leads the boys to a park. “We’re going to start with buckball!” “Buckball…” Huey says to himself. “I’ve never heard of that. How do you play?” “Well, it’s easy! Each team has an earth pony, a unicorn, and a pegasus. The earth ponies have to try to get the ball into the basket that their teams’ unicorn will control, while the other teams’ pegasus will try to block the ball. First to five wins. Got all that?” Pinkie explains. “Since you can’t fly or use magic, you will play on opposing teams as earth ponies. And we’ll also let you pick teams!” “Oh, sweet! Imma team captain!” Riley says excitedly. “Who do we have to choose from?” “Gooood question! Well, we were only able to 2 pegasi and 2 unicorns on such short notice. Here they are!” Pinkie signals to a field, where stands Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, Twilight Sparkle, and Rarity. “Oh! Oh! Rarity, you’re the one who finna make me that outfit! I want you on my team!” Riley shouts as he points over to Rarity. “Very well.” Rarity smiles and walks next to Riley. “That means Huey will have Twilight on his team. Now, since Riley chose the unicorn first, Huey has first choice for pegasus.” Huey looks at both Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy. Rainbow Dash is sweating profusely with an expectant face, really wanting to be on Huey’s team. “I’ll take Rainbow Dash-” “Yesss!!!” She flies a few loops in the air, getting her competitive spirit up. “You’re going down, Riley!” “Fine, I didn’t even want you on my team. By the way, you gay as hell.” “What did you say?” Rainbow Dash gets angry and flies up in Riley’s face. “You’re gonna pay for that! I’m gonna beat you so hard you’re going to wish you never came here!” “Fine! Damn!” Riley says as he walks over to his team of Rarity and Fluttershy, leaving Huey with Twilight and Rainbow Dash. “Oookay… well, let’s begin!” Both teams take their place, Huey and Riley both in the middle. Pinkie Pie blows a whistle then tosses a ball at the middle, where Riley grabs it first. “Take that!” He says as he tosses it into Rarity’s goal, but Rainbow blocks it and tosses it to Huey, who grabs it and skillfully throws a curveball around Fluttershy and into Twilight’s goal, scoring a point. “Damn! You cheated, Huey!” Riley says again, bickering with a sore loser attitude. “It’s not my fault I actually practice sports.” Huey responds, emotionless. However, out in the distance, a klutzy draconequus notices the group of ponies and humans playing. He teleports over to them. “Whoa, there! Are you guys playing sports?” He asks, placing himself between Huey and Riley. “Discord!” Twilight groans. “What are you doing here?” “Well, I was just in town, and I saw my friends here! I thought I’d drop in and say hi and-“ He sees the two humans. “Oooh! Who are your new friends?” He picks them up, one in each hand. “This is Huey and Riley, and don’t even think about hurting them!” Twilight continues. “Why, me? Hahaha, I wouldn’t dream of it!” He turns over to Riley. “So, you’re not ponies, I can see. You must be from another dimension. Do the folks in your dimension dress like this?” As he says that, he sets the boys down and snaps his fingers, dressing himself up in traditional “gangsta swag”, with a gold chain, beanie, and platinum teeth. “Unfortunately, yes.” Huey says, looking over to Riley, who is ecstatic. “Whoa! Discord, how’d you know that!” “I tend to dabble in the customs of other dimensions. Hey, wanna see something coooool?” He snaps his fingers again and dresses Riley up in some designer brand Gucci clothes. “Nigga, I like your style.” Riley smiles at Discord, laughing a little. “What else can you do?” “Oh, maybe something like- hey, what’s that?” Discord points behind Riley. “Huh?” Riley turns around, only to see a golden statue of himself. “Whoa! You are awesome, Discord!” “Hahaha, I’m glad you like it. Now Huey, what’s your deal? Why are you upset? Maybe you should turn that frown upside down.” He snaps his fingers and forces a smile on Huey’s face with Chaos magic. However, it doesn’t stay that way for long, and Huey returns to his stoic look again. “What the heck, Discord?” Huey says, getting up in Discord’s face. “What was that for?” “Oh, you’re no fun.” Discord says as he trips Huey with his tail. “Oops!” Huey sighs and gets up, walking away from everyone else. “Hey, where’s he going?” Discord calls out. “I just wanted to have fun.” “I’ll go check on him.” Pinkie Pie says as she hops around, looking for him. She eventually finds Huey, sitting calmly on a tree trunk reading a book. “Huey, what’s wrong?” Pinkie says, sitting down with him. “I need to calm down after that… encounter.” Huey says, turning a page. “You’re just reading? You don’t want to do anything fun?” She asks, confused. “Pinkie Pie…” Huey looks at her. “People express their joy in different ways. I get joy out of reading. Riley gets joy out of rapping and competing. And yeah, I don’t smile a lot. Can you understand what I mean, Pinkie?” Pinkie agrees, remembering how she became friends with Cranky Doodle Donkey. “Yes, I do. And if you just want to read, go ahead and do that!” “Actually, I have some unfinished business. We never got an outcome on that game.” Huey says, getting up. “Can you take us back to the buckball field?” “Of course!” Pinkie says, leading Huey back to the field, where they spend the rest of the day playing buckball and having fun. Eventually, the boys head back to their rooms in the school and get ready to sleep. “That was pretty fun. I wonder when I’ll see Discord again.” Riley says, smiling as he gets in bed. “Sure thing, Riley. I wonder who will teach us tomorrow.” Huey says, turning in for the night, thinking about what pony will teach them the next day.
