Chapters “Hello, my name is… Well my name is not important. What you do need to know is that I am the Court Jester or at least I was, until someone mysteriously died. Leaving me in charge of an entire planet it was fun at first but then I got bored and that caused some very very big problems. you see I control the sun in the moon of this planet, and every so often now people would try and rest control of it from me, there was this one time you know that these two Alicorns They thought they could rest control of the sun from me no no they really couldn’t, but I humored them while I took a nap.
‘No, this one is no fun.’ The Jester Thought.
In an universe, in old galaxy, on the planet Equss, in the land of equestria, in the Everfree forest, near the ruins of the castle of the royal pony sisters, there is the Petrified form of a very unique being, Bound in vines and chains of ivories, golds, silvers, crackling yellows, Burning oranges, green, and blacks, And beneath all of bindings,
“Nope, Just nope!!!!” The Jester shouted.
“Now tell me class what do you think this statue is a representation of?” A gray unicorn stallion asked his class, the statue is the form of a very unique being, Bound in vines and chains of golds, silvers, and blacks, And beneath all of the bindings, is the form of what appears to be a simple jester wearing a grin that is far too wide. The Stallion points to a midnight purple filly named Twilight A.Sparkle.
“That’s The Court Jester!” Twilight whimpers.
“That’s correct, but why’re you scared? It's just a statue.” The stallion said confused when a very loud sound of laughter came from what the stallion had assumed was a statue.
The laughter was long and cruel, Like nails on a chalkboard, The screaming of banshees, and thousands of breaking bones, after which the ‘statue’ straightened up from the Crouched position, standing at an imposing height of sixteen and a half feet. “It would be wise for everyone to fear me, But you, young Twilight, you needn’t fear me.”The Court Jester said,
“Wwwhy?” Twilight Stammered.
“Because why would I hurt my great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great grandfilly? speaking of which is Owlbert OK?” The Court Jester said,
“What!!!” Twilight yelled out in shock.
“Oh right, I wasn’t supposed to tell you that. Oh well, the cat’s out of the bag anyway.” The Court Jester said dismissively.
(5 hours later)
“Wait, what’s your name?” The Teacher asked The Court Jester.
“You answer first Teach.” The Court Jester replies,
“Fine, It’s Silver Spade, and you.” Silver replies,
Well, that’s nice, I can’t actually tell you my name without it trying to kill you, just call me Arch Ace.” Arch said,
“Nice to meet you, Arch.” Silver said,
“Nice to meet you, Silver.” Arch said,
‘Yes, I like this one.’ The Jester thought, as the timeline solidified into place around them.
“Now I think I’ll be leaving.” Arch said,
“What! But, what about all your bindings.” Silver spluttered,
“Oh, right.” Arch said, as the black chains burst into gray flames, and broke apart, followed by the silver and then the gold. “OK there we are.” Arch said as they stretched.
“What are you?” Silver asked,
“You know just your friendly Court Jester.” Arch said, as It began to walk in a random direction.
“Wait isn’t someone going to recognize you?” Silver said before immediately covering his mouth in panic.
“Oh, right, Celestia. Thank you for reminding me.” Arch said, as they turned themself into an androgynous Thestral with rather peculiar wings, in that the wings did not have any muscle or skin, but only the long spindly bones. Arch’s clothes changed from they’re gold and silver Jester’s clothes to black suit pants, grey jade horseshoes, a white dress shirt, a platinum suit coat, and a black with onyx banded top hat. Arch’s face changed very little save for their teeth, which became less pointed, save for the canines which were still the same. Arch’s coat changed from slate gray to jet black, and mane from black to blood red. Arch’s one foot long dagger in the fashion of that of a Russian dagger changed into four inch long daggers , that were then put into an inner pocket of Arch’s suit coat. “ that’s much better. Now I am off. Oh and silver next time you see Celestia, tell her N is ready and waiting.” Arch said, before walking off.
Author's Note
This story is a class 4.5 Anthro
(Later that day, around Sunset to nightfall)
‘Hmm Mmm, it’s nice to walk around knowing that this city has prospered’ Arch thought, as they wandered around Canterlot, until stumbling upon a noble. This noble was oddly familiar Though, with a white suit with baby/sky blue accents, white coat, blonde hair and a face that screamed surprise and shock to see another person out at this time, before he could speak, Arch asked “do you know where the Gold Blade family estate is located?”
“Yes, I do, but why would you want to go there, the last of the Gold Blade family members died 2 to 3 decades ago, and besides the estate is only accessible to people of the Gold Blade linage.” The noble said.
“Could you please take me to it anyway?” Arch said,
“Of course I can, but, if I will is a different matter entirely.” The noble said,
“Look I can get inside of the estate, if you want to come with me I will let you in.” Arch said,
“ how exactly are you able to get in?” The Noble said,
“ well it is my house.” Arch said offhandedly, causing the noble to stop in shock.
“Who are you?” The Noble said,
“Oh, you can call me Gold Blade.” Arch said,
“Oh, now you’re just mocking me, but fine, Gold Blade.” The Noble said,
“Thank you Blue Blood.” Arch said, causing The Noble, Prince Blue Blood to be taken aback by Them saying his name before He could tell it to them.
“How do you know my name?” Blue asked,
“Ha Ha, now that would be telling.” Arch said,
“Then why should I trust you?” Blue questioned,
“Do you really have a choice?” Arch responded,
Which Caused Blue Blood to stop and think. “I suppose not.” Blue admitted,
“Good, Now, Blue Blood Since you have been so patient, I’m going to grant you one boon you can ask me three questions, that I am bound to answer truthfully, in exchange for you taking me to the estate. Sound good?” Arch said,
(Some time later)
Blue blood had only asked one question. “What are you?”
“I’m Vita Statera.” Arch said very quickly.
“What do you mean your Life Balance?” Blue said as his focus slid out of his right hand, and began to glow.
“To answer that question, I need to Pose a question of my own, namely how many tribes of ponies are there?” Arch said,
“There’s three, Earth Ponies, Pegasi, and Unicorns.” Blue stated in confidence.
To which Arch laughs, and says, “there are five, Crystal Ponies, Earth Ponies, Pegasi, Vita Statera, and Unicorns.” Then They let out their boney wings and a focus from each hand, and just smiled as Blue Blood stopped in his tracks, and stares at them in disbelief.
“Why?” Blue said,
“Why what? Why’s there no knowledge The Vita Statera? or why’re there only one of them? or why’ve I choose to tell and show you this? Well, what is it.” Arch said,
"What happened to you?" Blue said,
Arch exhales as their focuses shift into silvery black lines on the palm side of their hands, before speaking “Blue blood do you know what changelings are?”
“I believe those are Shapeshifters? Auntie hates them, says they should all be dead.” Blue said,
“Typical Celly, hates an entire race and then thinks they should die because they have abilities that she can’t use.” Arch said,
“Yes, but, what does that have to do with the Vita Statera?” Blue said still bewildered,
“The Changeling are not first race Celestia tried to make go extinct, The Vita Statera are and she succeeded in killing off my entire race and then kept me as a demented trophy, There, now, teleport us to my estate.” Arch said,
(One teleport later)
Arch and Blue Blood stand in front of a Grand silvery gate crusted with five empty in settings, One in each corner and the fifth and final in dead center of the gate. Arch proceeds to pull out their four three inch long daggers, the first made from the finest silvers and golds, the second made from cloud steel and forged with lightning continuously running along its length, the third forged of crystal and gems, and the fourth forged of solid arcane might, Arch then proceeds to place the first in the upper left-hand corner, followed by the second being placed in the upper right hand, it was then followed by the third being placed in the lower left-hand corner ,which was then followed by the fourth and final dagger being placed in the lower right hand corner, before ripping off their left hand and putting it in the final hole which is lying in the very center of the gate.
Arch then proceeds to grow a new left hand, and begins to snap out an enormous infinity symbol across the gate, after which the gate opens. Arch then walks through the gate, But, Blue Blood is unable to follow as a thin, but, indestructible barrier appears on the gate. Arch turns around and laughs, “guess you do have Celly’s blood in you after all.” They said, and hands Blue Blood a letter addressed to Celestia, and said “Now Blue Blood, please pass this off to Celestia she will know what it means, but other than that, Blue Blood you are always welcome to visit, good night.” Arch says before the gate booms shut.
Blue Blood had been quiet sense he had come back to the castle, given the letter to Celestia and just gone to his room and locked everyone out, and nopony is sure why.
Blue Blood sat staring at the Ebony black bone like sword that he had found stabbed into the center of his room, just like it had been when he had returned from his talk with *Golden Blade*. He was terrified that somepony could get into his room with such ease, but, what horrified him was the note: \Hey Blue, thanks~ B.\ When Blue Blood had entered his room, he hadn’t even seen The ebon blade stabbed firmly into the center of the floor, and when Blue had noticed the sword, he ran and hid on his bed terrified, and there he is sat shivering, terrified, and afraid.
Celestia was anxious Blue Blood hadn’t left his room for the last eight days. Silver Spade had recovered for the most part, but, the stallion had lost all control of his left eye, and the dagger's blade was fused to his spine, which caused the teacher to be in a permanent slumped stance, forcing him to walk with a cane. When Blue had finally come out of his room he asked a question that made Celestia's heart drop like a stone.
"Auntie, what do you know about The Vita Statera?" Blue said,
Celestia was mortified, as her mind raced to come up with a solution, without using that thing's name.
"And who were the beings of which you speak?" Blue continued,
“I-I can’t, I-I won’t, I-I am un-un-unable to say anything more on this subject.” Celestia said, as she began to shakes uncontrollably, before trying and partly failing to stop, as the tremors did partly subside. “W-What I can tell you is this who ever tolled you that is f-far old t-then you think they a-are.”
Blue Blood had left the meeting rather shaken, but, even more determined to learn as much as possible about this mysterious being whom had made his own aunt tremble with barely contained terror. He had then found a book who’s name was inscribed in a language he did not know, but If he had been able to read it, it would have read as The Fae Of Change . Strangely enough he could read everything on the inside of it just fine though. He was only able to read the first sentence from the book before.
“Ah, I see you found my book.” An old rough voice, sounding like that of millions of pages of books turning all at once, which came from what Blue had assumed to be the corpse of some unknown creature.
The creature was ragged, and spindly, a moth eaten pile of rags, that appeared to have ones been a fine cloak of silk, now nothing, but, a loosely stitched off white and purple bit of cloth that hung acrossed its back. Its hands long, and boney, but, even still tipped with claws that could no doubt eviscerate him in seconds, but, It’s face, oh, its face, peeled, and rotting, one eye socket empty, well the other held something blackened and oily, contorting as if to try and escape The confines of the socket. It’s teeth aged, but pristine, almost to a mocking degree, and a pair of great horns that rose from what little flesh that still clung to its skull, before sweeping down and around to just under the lower jaw. A rough leather strap in graved with runes that blazed with yellow/black light.
Blue Blood froze as that thing, no, as Grogar, The Undying began to move towards him, and the book he held.
“You seem to have something that belongs to me.” He said calmly as he continued to move towards Blue Blood.
Author's Note
Have fun read this chapter.
Chapter 7
Blue Blood quickly racked his memory to find any useful information on Grogar , before remembering something from a book he had read. Grogar The Undying: always ask for parlay with him, should you have something he wants, and never ask for mercy, as you will receive none.
“Grogar I demand parlay!” Blue shouted at Grogar.
“On what Authority?” Grogar spoke as he continued to Advance on Blue Blood.
“On, ah…” Blue Blood scramble to think of someone. His mind suggested Celestia, to which he immediately dismissed the idea as, from all he had read, Grogar had a burning hatred of his aunt, then his mind suggested the (perfect) idea. “ On the Authority of The Court Jester.” Blue Blood proclaimed, the Instant the proclamation had left his lips, he felt the very air around him shiver and retreat away from him.
“Did you just say The Court Jester?” Grogar said in a tone so flat and hard, that you could build a house on it.
“Yes?” Blue tentatively replied,
“Now, why would One of the Sun-spawned, be calling on the authority of the royal of the word-spawned?” Grogar questions, still advancing, and continued speaking, not letting Blue Blood reply. “May haps, he has met The Fae himself? In all likelihood unknowingly, for surely he would have quivered in terror, if he had knowingly met them?” Grogar said, before finally stopping and sitting upon his grand throne of death.
Though grand is not an adequate description of the throne, monolithic would be a more apt description for the throne was indeed massive. Adorned with the carved bones of countless long dead creatures, from the grand skull of the arimaspi that sat above the head of the throne, to countless gems of sirens many still glowing with malevolent power, to spines of ancient windigoes far less tame then the ones of which were banished by the flame of friendship, to the skulls of changelings most still oozing blood as if the heads had just been cut from the necks of the dead, and finally the skulls of countless unicorns, all their horns sharpened to deadly points.
“Well, what do you have to say for yourself?” Grogar said leaning on one of his armrests.
"Well, I ah?" Blue stammered.
"Well, I, Ah, What, Boy? speak up!" Grogar Boomed.
“Come now Grogar, lay off the kid, He hasn’t done anything to you.” The Voice Of The Court Jester said, their voice sounding like thousands of voices muttering quietly. If you were to focus on the voices, you would hear millions of names all swirling in a maelstrom of other names.
Grogar and Blue Blood turned to the voice. One to see an old friend, The other in terror and hope, they turned and saw The Royal of the word spawned.
The Court Jester was tall and extremely gaunt, royal golds, and silvers, now pale shadows of their former glory, covered their pale sunken grey skin and thin layer of black fur. They stared at Blue Blood, and Grogar, out of wizened old… I suppose eyes will do for an adequate description, and grinned at them with teeth that were changing every time Blue or Grogar looked away, or blinked. A Great blade hung from a group of three loops of rusted steel, The Blade, was a roughly polished blade of… The best way to describe it would be squirming Souls jammed into shape, it’s handle was a perfectly shaped piece of obsidian, a Stygian iron cross guard and a pommel of onyx. But what made Blue Blood shake with horror, were the pair of great scythe-like bone wings that extended from their back, for he knows those wings, the wings of a kind stranger he had helped home, the wings of a long dead race, the wings of Golden Blade.
Blue Blood had frozen for what to him felt like an eternity, but, what was in reality five minutes, twenty seconds, and, twelve milliseconds. When Blue did come to, he realized that, he had been moved. Blue took a moment to take in his surroundings.
firstly, he noticed was that the magic in the air, felt off, it felt like it was trying to take something away from him, secondly was that wherever he is was massive, the sealing, and wall were so faraway, that he couldn’t even see them, thirdly the floor seemed to be covered with arcane matrices, the purposes of which Blue didn’t know, and finally he noticed that he was not alone, for The Court Jester themself sat next to Blue on a stool, and after seeing that Blue had finally seen them. They began to speak, before Blue could’ve time to scream.
“Oh, you are an interesting little thing, aren’t you?” The Court Jester mused aloud. “Normally I would just steal your Name, and, leave you to slowly implode into the nothingness of one of the Nameless, but, if you disappear that, Olde Sol Invictus would notice you’re gone, and because you’re were asking extremely specific questions. Questions of which, only two possible beings, could have made you want to ask, and after meeting one of them and because you’re still sane. That narrows it down to me, and then in lies my predicament, but, also an opportunity, that, I think you will l̵i̶k̴e̴ my f̴̧̐r̸̺̂i̸͖̽e̶̕͜n̷͕̔d̷̜͋!” The Court Jester said, their *Eyes* stare at Blue like he was a tiny insect. They were just waiting for him to take their deal
”After All! You! Don’t! Have! A Choice!” A cacophony of Voices deafeningly shrieked at Blue Blood.
Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter. “Let me in, I need to see princess Celestia!!!” Silver shouts as he tries to push his way through the guards into the throne room in a panic.
“Sir, please, calm yourself, once you do we will let you in.” One of the guards said,
“But, I can’t calm down, Celestia, she… she needs to know, what I have to tell her.” Silver continues shout out of desperation.
“What is going on here?” Princess Celestia said having come out to see what all the fuss is about.
“Princess, I don’t know why, but, I must tell you, N is ready and waiting.” Silver said,
“Guards get this stallion every anti-toxin we have.” Celestia shouts, as the guards stand shocked to see their princess panicked. “What are waiting for go!!!” Celestia exclaimed, causing the guards to scrambled to go and get the anti-toxins.
(2 hours later)
“What do they look like?” Celestia asks Silver,
“What or who are you talking about?” Silver rasps,
“I’m talking about-” Celestia yells before calming herself. *Hmm Mmm* “I’m talking about The Court Jester, Is this any thing you can remember about their appearance?” Celestia said,
“I’m sorry, but who are you talking about?” Silver says befuddled.
‘Of course It don’t be that easy.’ Celestia thought. “Thank you for your time.” Celestia said as she left.
Author's Note
There is a reason why I did not describe what Celestia looks like, it is going to come in to play later on in the story
The Blades of The Court Jester
Author's Note
I thought just as a fun little thing to do while I’m writing the next chapter, I may as well give you something to look at and so I have decided to write down the names of the five blades of The Court Jester.
The Blades of The Court Jester
The Crystal’s Justice: A grayish yellow crystal dagger of approximately four inches, it was forged from a shard of Justice, and a shard of pure crystal, It judges the soul of every single pony, it has or will ever touch.
The Blade of Arcana’s Might: A silvery blue transparent dagger of approximately six inches, it was forged from the arcane cores of twelve Timberwolves, two Ursa Majors, four cockatrices, seven dragons, and one Dead mares flesh slime.
The Equs’s Bane: An amalgam of gold and silver, this Dagger is approximately three inches, it was forged of an alloy of elemental pure gold and silver, and the pommel is in set with three precious stones, a sapphire, a garnet, and a emerald.
The Storm’s Might: A grayish sky blue dagger approximately five inches, it was forged of pure lightning, cloud-steel, and an ounce of Pegasus blood, with a compressed active storm in the pommel. It will kill all its wielder desires, leaving not but ashes in it’s wake.
The Blade: this one is the powerful of all do to it’s unique ability.
