A McDonald's in Equestria
Chapter 1: "Dreams of Franchising"
The two twin brother ponies named Flim and Flam had always wanted to earn a quick bit. They had a dream to become filthy rich by any means necessary. They were business ponies, but not very good ones. Yet, they still had a resort in Las Pegasus that was only operating on a seasonal basis.
It wasn't enough.
Then, one day, opportunity came knocking. It came in the form of an advertisement in the Canterlot Chronicle.
"Hey brother, take a look at this," Flim said as he read the newspaper. "A hamburger company known as McDonald's is seeking to open a franchise in Equestria."
"Hamburgers?" wondered Flam. "What else does it say brother?"
"It says that they are looking for franchisees that can uphold the value of McDonald's company values and seek to…"
Flim stopped reading at "the seek to" part.
"Well, what else does it say?"
"Flam, do you know what this means? McDonald's is a company that is among the greatest out there. We could make a profit by seizing this opportunity. We can finally build that expansion that we have always been thinking of!"
"Finish the article, brother."
"There is just one slight problem though, brother," remarked Flim, placing the newspaper on their desk. "Ponies don't eat meat."
However, Flam had an idea, an awful idea. Flam got a wonderful…awful idea.
"Still, from the way I hear it, brother, we can at least entice them to try a McDonald's product. They may not eat meat, but they do eat hayburgers. But, we can disguise the fact that there is even meat inside of it."
It was then that Flim joined his brother in getting whatever idea was in his brain. There was a way to obtain some meat and it was in the form of four legged creatures at the Apple Family barn.
"Oh, ho, ho, ho," Flim chuckled, snickering at his brother. "I love the way your corrupt little mind works."
And right away, the brothers began to answer to the call that had been made to Equestria.
…
Meanwhile, at the School of Friendship, the students were taking part in their weekly gym class overseen by Spitfire of the Wonderbolts.
"All right, newbies," barked the Wonderbolt captain as the students were taking part in laps around the track. "That's enough laps for today. Now, why do we exercise?"
"Um, because it's part of our grades, Professor Spitfire?" guessed Gallus the Griffon, causing Spitfire to lower her sunglasses at him.
"Of course its part of your grades, griffon," said Spitfire to the students gathered around her. "But the reason is for you all to stay in shape. There is good food for your bodies and there is bad food for your bodies. Your headmare has requested that these lessons are taught at this school."
"But, what's wrong with our eating, Professor Spitfire?" asked Ocellus. "I know that the Changelings don't feed off love anymore, but…"
"And that is bad food for you, Ocellus," interrupted Spitfire. "As a Wonderbolt captain, I have taught recruits over and over about taking care of your bodies, treating them like a temple."
"Yona treat body like temple?" wondered Yona the yak, looking down at her stomach.
"Exactly, Yona," answered Spitfire, her voice suddenly rising. "However, let me be perfectly clear that your body can treat you with respect if you give it respect amongst yourselves. If you don't treat it with respect, then it's going to be very hard to live your lives when you are in A FULL BODY WING AND HOOF CAST DRINKING THROUGH A STRAW!"
The blasts of Spitfire's yells sent the students flying back across the field, causing a few of them to tremble.
"I…I guess you made your point, Professor," said Sandbar, stroking the back of his neck. "Although I don't the full body wing and hoof cast point."
"Think of it as like your body putting you in it because you didn't take care of it like you were supposed to, Sandbar," said Spitfire calmly placing a hoof on Sandbar's shoulder before addressing the remaining students. "To put it more clearly, there are plenty of areas in your body that you must keep in mind. To this end, I want all of you to do the following homework…"
The students groaned at what they heard, but Spitfire blew her whistle to stop them from groaning any further.
"It's not that kind of homework, newbies," reassured Spitfire. "If you hadn't been reading the papers, a fast food chain is seeking to build a mark in Equestria. Let me tell you that the chain in question produces food that is entirely bad for your bodies. If you can resist the temptation of this fast food chain and it's products, then you shall be rewarded. Fail this homework and Headmare Twilight will deal with you accordingly."
The sounds of Spitfire's voice made all the students quiver in fear and for the rest of the day, they all kept her words in the back of their minds.
…
"Hey Twilight," Spike said later that day as he came into her office with a newspaper in his claws. "Looks like the hayburger joint is getting some competition."
"I know Spike," Twilight replied, looking up from her copy of the Canterlot Chronicle. "This so called 'McDonald's' really worries me. I mean, from the looks of it, they have a lot of products that aren't really good for you."
"Still, it would be worth something to try out, Twilight," suggested Spike. "I mean, what harm could something like McDonald's do to the ponies of Equestria?"
"Well, for one thing, Spike," remarked Twilight, rising from her desk. "We don't eat meat, we eat hay and you eat gems. Every creature's diet is different and if the balance of the diet is upset, then there are consequences that we must all face. Besides, who do you think would want to buy something like McDonald's?"
It was at that moment Twilight's eyes widened in shock. She knew very well of who would want to make a quick buck off of something like this.
"Wait," Spike gasped. "You don't mean…?"
"Yep," Twilight guessed correctly. "Flim and Flam. Those two will do ANYTHING to make bits even if it also means opening a fraud school that Starswirl the Bearded was a part of."
"What can we do about it?" wondered Spike as Twilight began to think of what to do to combat this possible crisis.
"Have everypony meet me in the throne room after school today," Twilight said. "We're going to get to the bottom of this."
Heeding this order, Spike flew out of her office to spread the word. In Twilight's mind, McDonald's was a threat and it was a threat that needed to be dealt with immediately.
A McDonald's in Equestria
Chapter 2: "A Potential Health Crisis"
Once the school day had come to an end, Twilight had gathered all of her friends in the castle of friendship's throne room to discuss what was in the paper.
"What is the big deal about how bad this McDonald's is, Twilight?" remarked Pinkie Pie. "It's certainly no different that Mr. and Mrs. Cake's baked goods."
However, Applejack was quick to side with Twilight. She knew all too well of how corrupt the Flim Flam brothers were.
"Well, I don't trust Flim and Flam, y'all," the country pony said, stamping her hoof down on the table. "Those two scammers will do just about anything at the expense of other ponies. I mean, don't y'all see what they have done in the past?"
"Of course we did, Applejack," added Rarity, standing up to show off her figure to her friends. "I, myself, want to keep my figure from going beyond its normal markings."
"And you say that McDonald's…" gulped Fluttershy, nervously. "Produces meat? Kills animals?"
"Look guys, we can't just let the Flim Flam brothers go through with this," said Twilight. "The health of Equestria could very well be at risk."
"I agree with Twilight," added Applejack. "As a big sister to Apple Bloom, I refuse to allow this to take place. My down home apples are plenty good enough for us all."
"You said that at the Grand Galloping Gala remember?" remarked Pinkie Pie, leaning over to Applejack by stretching her neck and giving her the lazy eye. "And look what happened then?"
Applejack nodded nervously at Pinkie's remark about their first time at the Gala.
"That is beside the point, Pinkie," said Twilight, once again getting the attention of her friends. "We need to let the Canterlot Chamber of Commerce know of what is going on and see if they can put a stop to it. I mean, we are in a race against time here. Did anypony get a guess of where a location could be opened?"
"Canterlot?" guessed Rainbow Dash, shrugging her shoulders in an unsuringly nature. "Isn't that where everypony goes to eat?"
"True," said Rarity. "Saffron Marsala and Coriander Cumin have been telling me that they have seen a boost in business since Pinkie and I saved their restaurant. Although, Zesty Gourmand still has a negative opinion on them."
Then, Rarity suddenly began to get herself an idea. It was an idea that she didn't want to think of, but it was something that she had no choice in accepting given the situation.
"What is it, Rarity?" asked Twilight, noticing the distressed look on her friend's face.
"I…I just had this thought of maybe…"
"…maybe what?"
"That we could have Zesty Gourmand," Rarity gulped. "Help us stop Flim and Flam before they open their McDonald's."
The idea of getting a high ended pony on their side was almost next to impossible. After all, it was Rarity and Pinkie Pie who ended up on Zesty's bad side.
"Rarity, are you sure about that?" wondered Pinkie Pie. "Do you even remember how much nasty talk she gave us?"
"Yeah, I do."
"Well we can't just sit around and do nothing here," said Applejack. "Those two goons are up to no good and I want to stop them before they spread like a virus."
"A virus? But they aren't a disease, Applejack," remarked Pinkie Pie, chuckling slightly. "You have to be teeny tiny creatures to be considered a virus."
Applejack's eyebrow raised at what she had just heard.
"Rarity, can you get in touch with Zesty Gourmand by the end of the day?" asked Twilight, knowing that time was of the essence.
"I'll do my best, Twilight," stammered Rarity, reluctantly. "Although I don't know how she is going to react with me being in her presence."
…
Meanwhile, the Student six were in the library trying to get their homework done. However, the lecture that had been told to them by Spitfire was enough to keep them distract.
"Hey, I don't know about you guys," said Sandbar. "But, I have a sudden urge to try that McDonald's."
"You've got to fight it, Sandbar," said Smolder the dragon. "Do you even remember what happens if we even go near…whatever the name is."
"McDonald's," corrected Ocellus.
"Yeah, that."
"Maybe you are all just getting overhyped about this so called McDonald's," remarked Gallus, leaning back in the chair he was sitting in. "I mean, it's nothing like anything we have even faced yet, right? Look at it this way, it can't be any worse off than when we took on Cozy Glow."
"Cozy was just one bad apple in the bunch," added Silverstream, the hippogriff. "This McDonald's is the same way. I can't eat anything else besides what Hippogriff's diet is."
"What do you eat?" asked Ocellus.
"Well, mostly seafood," answered Silverstream. "Any kind of fish and also sea plants. I mean, if my mom heard that I was eating anything other than seafood, she would go off the walls with me and I would be no worse than Skystar is."
"She is still grounded?" wondered Sandbar. "How long does your aunt plan to keep her grounded?"
The young hippogriff merely shrugged in response.
"I don't know, but I could be joining her if I go near this place."
"Yona no like this McDonald's."
"Come on, guys," remarked Gallus. "Give it a try. I mean, what harm could it possibly be other than just serving food?"
"Gallus, how could you say all these things when Professor Spitfire told you directly?" wondered Ocellus. "I've learned to start eating better along with all the other Changelings, so why shouldn't you? In a way, I think you are probably the one out of all of us who is going to be tempted the most."
Gallus said nothing and returned to his homework, seemingly ignoring what they were trying to tell him.
"Why should I follow through of what they are saying?" the young blue griffon guessed. "I mean, there are vices we all need to have in our lives and if food is a vice for me, then I'll take it. Hey, the more vices open to me, the better."
Gallus had no idea of how wrong he would soon become…
