“Babe, the only way they could get the bleeding stopped…” Sunny swallowed hard before finally dropping the bombshell. “They had to do an...emergency hys-hysterectomy. I'm so sorry.”
“A…?” is all that emerged from between my lips. My vision became nothing more than a blank stare, focusing on the wall behind her. I was frozen in place by the shock. It was so severe that I barely felt the dampness of Sunny's cheek rub against my own.
“Twi?” Sunny said.
I couldn't respond. I wanted to, but my brain wouldn't let me.
“Twilight? Please don't be mad at me, babe.”
“I’m not,” I barely whispered. “It's not your fault.”
Somehow my subconscious managed to return Sunny’s hug but I was still staring at the wall. I tried to reboot my mind by thinking of something else but to no avail. The only thing that I could think was, I'm not a real woman.
That one sentence constantly repeated itself over and over. I couldn't cry. I couldn't move. Nothing was working.
“I still...love you. Nothing will...change that,” Sunny said through her loud sobs.
“Even though I'm...I’m no longer a real woman?” I asked as my brain finally allowed me to cry.
“Twilight, you are still a real woman,” she replied.
Despite her reassurance, I wasn't convinced. “Sunny, I am not a real woman anymore. I...I can't bear offspring,” I cried. “I always knew that I was...gay, but I still wanted to have…” I paused momentarily to wipe my eyes. “I still wanted to have a child...for the experience. And...and now, I...I…” I couldn't finish my sentence.
“Twi?”
“Sunny, I understand if you want to leave me,” I said through my tears.
“Twilight?”
By now my body was shaking in rhythm with my sobs.
“Twilight Shimmer! Wake up!”
Sunny’s body disappeared when she said that causing me to fall forward onto the cold hospital floor.
“Please wake up, Twilight!”
“Twilight. Oh, thank Celestia,” Sunny said in a relieved tone.
I slowly sat up, disoriented, as I tried figuring out where I was. “Wha-? Where…?”
“You're at home, babe,” she said. “I've been trying to wake you up for nearly fifteen minutes.”
“But I was in the hospital,” I said, slurring my words slightly. “I swear I was just there…”
Sunny held me so close to her chest that I could hear her heart beating. “Twi, that was almost two weeks ago.”
“Seriously? It felt so real. I heard the monitor beeping and smelled the disinfectant they use on the floors,” I explained. “Sunny, I felt the tears on your cheek as you hugged me.”
Sunny didn't say anything. Instead, she continued to hold my head against her chest and slowly rocked back and forth in an attempt to comfort me.
“Sunny?”
“Hmm?”
“You...you’re not going to leave me?” I asked as a small amount of fear circulated through my veins. “Are you?”
Sunny pulled back, lifted my face to meet her gaze and wiped a tear away with her thumb. “Twilight, I'm never going to leave you.” She smiled warmly. “Nothing will keep me from you, okay?”
“Even though I can't-” I said before she put a finger to my lips.
“Listen, when you were in that accident after our fight, I felt like someone kicked me in the gut. I can't begin to describe the amount of grief that I was feeling,” she told me. “The sight of you in the hospital bed...it paralyzed me.”
“What?”
“Yes, I was paralyzed from the fear of losing you,” she said before leaning forward to kiss me. “I love you, Twilight. Always have. I don't care what happens, I always will be here for you. Okay?”
“Mhmm,” I said as I cuddled back into her bosom.
After a few minutes, Sunny broke the silence in the room. “Do you feel up to sleeping in the bed tonight?”
I closed my eyes and shook my head.
“Why not?”
“It's...these casts. They're so rigid and they keep you from sleeping well,” I said, placing my hand on her stomach. “And right now you need as much rest as possible because of…”
THE FACT SHE’S A REAL WOMAN AND YOU AREN'T!
“Because of, what?” Sunny asked.
“Huh?” I said shaking my head.
“You said I needed as much rest as possible and then just trailed off,” she explained. After a brief pause, she asked, “Are you okay?”
I wasn't sure how to answer that. I felt okay - aside from the slight pain from the broken bones - physically. Emotionally, I was still confused about this whole situation. Mentally, I was, well, shaky.
“Babe, are you okay?” she asked again.
“Yeah, it's just, well, it's three in the morning and I'm still sort of sleepy,” I lied.
Sunny stood up, gently lifted me off the sofa and slung my arm over her shoulder. “In that case, you're spending the rest of the night in bed,” she said with a smirk.
“But-”
“And that's final.”
I winced in pain as I reluctantly hobbled to the bedroom, supported by my wife.
“TWI! BREAKFAST!”
The cheerful sound of Sunny’s voice and the smell of sausage and eggs filled the house. I stayed in the supine position with my right arm covering my face, trying to put the pieces of last night back together.
“Hey, sleepyhead,” Sunny said, causing me to jump.
“Sunny! What are-” I shouted as I tried catching my breath.
“You didn't answer, so I brought you breakfast in bed,” she said with a warm smile.
“In bed? But I thought we agreed to let me sleep on the sofa until I'm healed up,” I asked.
Sunny shrugged her shoulders. “Eh, the bed was cold.” She grabbed a sausage link, took a small bite from it and then fed the rest to me. “And I thought you needed someone to comfort you in your sleep.”
I felt my stomach sink to my feet. “Wh-what made you think that?” I asked after swallowing the food in my mouth.
“Babe, you were crying loud enough to wake the dead last night,” she explained. “You kept shouting, ‘Don't leave me!’, over and over. I had to do something.”
I picked at the food on the tray as I tried focusing on Sunny's reassurances.
SHE’S GOING TO LEAVE YOU AND YOU KNOW IT! NO ONE WANTS TO BE WITH SOMEONE THAT'S NOT A REAL WOMAN!
“Twi?” Sunny said, snapping her fingers.
“Huh?” I said, disoriented.
“You zoned out for a minute.”
A choking wave of fear filled my body. “Why are you leaving me?” I asked as I accidentally knocked the breakfast tray off the bed in an attempt to grab Sunny’s hand.
“Leaving…? Twilight, I've got to go to work,” she said, patting the top of my hand.
“But...you're coming home afterward, right?”
“Yes, I am,” she said.
“Promise?”
“Yes, Twilight. I promise.”
Author's Note
Yes, I know it's short. Yes, I didn't address the mess made by Twilight. And no, this isn't the end of Twi's downward spiral; not by a long shot.
Someone called off and I have to stay over. Be home asap. I ordered pizza for u so u don't have to cook. Love u
I started worrying as I stared at my phone.
She's planning to leave me, I thought. That's the only logical explanation of why she keeps working late. It's got to be why.
I set my phone on the coffee table and picked up the book - Menopause And You - which I had been reading before I got Sunny’s text.
About a half an hour had gone by when my phone began to ring. I grabbed it as quick as possible, hoping it was Sunny. Sadly, it was a number that I didn't recognize but I decided to answer it anyway. It turned out to be the pizza guy letting me know that he was at the front door. I told him to hold on a couple of minutes and I would be there.
“Hello. One medium ham and pineapple pizza on thin crust. Is that correct?”
“Yes, sir,” I replied, assuming that was what Sunny had ordered for me. “Um, would you mind bringing it in and setting it on the dining room table for me?”
“Normally, it's against our policy to enter the customer's residence but seeing that you're banged up, I will make an exception,” he said, smiling. I signed the credit card slip as he put the pizza on the table.
“Um, can I ask you a question, mister…?” I asked nervously.
“Lead Foot,” he finished.
“...Mister Lead Foot.”
“Certainly.”
“If your wife or girlfriend were to have a hysterectomy - hypothetically, of course - would you want to stay with her?” I asked as my eyes slowly looked toward the floor.
“Uh, forgive me but what's a hysterectomy?” he asked.
“It's the removal of a woman's uterus,” I clarified.
“Oh. Yeah, I absolutely would stay with her. She would need all the support she could get if that were to happen,” he said.
A small smile crossed my face. “Thanks,” I said, grabbing my purse. “I know you have to get back to work so here’s an extra ten dollars for your time.”
“Thank you, ma'am,” he said, accepting the cash. “I hope you feel better soon.”
I thanked him and he let himself out so that I didn't have to stumble back across the house. I opened the pizza box and grabbed the smallest slice I could find. After three bites, I called Spike and gave him the rest of the slice I was holding.
“What's the matter with the pizza?” he asked before scarfing it down.
“There's nothing wrong with it, I'm just not that hungry,” I answered.
Spike swallowed the food and then asked, “Twilight, what's wrong? You've hardly eaten anything in the last week.”
“I haven't been that hungry lately, that's all,” I told him.
“Twilight…”
“What? I'm telling the truth,” I insisted.
“Twilight…”
“Spike, can we please drop the subject?” I asked.
He relented and after another couple slices of pizza, he agreed to keep our conversation to himself.
Finally, some peace and quiet, I thought as I laid back down on the couch. As I resumed reading I noticed a magazine underneath a stack of papers on the coffee table. I shifted the papers so that I could read the title: House Hunter Weekly.
“She is leaving me,” I cried.
It was sometime later that I found myself waking up. It was odd because I didn't remember falling asleep. The house was pitch black, save for the nightlight that was in the hallway to the bedroom.
“Sunny?” I called after rubbing the sleep from my eyes. Must not be home yet, I thought.
I fumbled around trying to reach the end table that my phone was on so that I could check the time. After finding it, I pressed the power button to bring up the home screen, only for the display to stay black.
Battery must've died, I deduced. I reached to the floor to pick up my cane, only to find it gone. Spike better not be playing any tricks on me. I gave him half the pizza for crying out loud.
So I slid off the couch and slowly inched my way across the room toward the light switch on my rear end. As I grew closer to the switch, I thought I could hear the sound of someone crying.
“Sunny? Is that you?” I called into the darkness.
No answer.
I shifted my weight so that I could slide up the wall to a standing position. I turned on the light switch and for some strange reason, only the light above the dining room table turned on. As I looked in that direction, I noticed someone sitting in one of the chairs with their head in their hands. I made my way to the table, using the wall for balance, and was surprised to see who it was.
“Princess Twilight? When did you get here?” I asked the purple-skinned girl.
“I'm not Princess Twilight,” she replied before turning to face me. On her face was a scar in the exact place where I recently had stitches removed. “I’m you.”
My eyes shot open suddenly as a new sound entered the room. It took a few seconds for me to realize that it was the front door closing.
“Twi, I'm home!” Sunny shouted. “Hey, babe. How ya feeling?” she asked after entering the den.
“Eh, okay, I guess,” I replied. “I've just been lounging here reading.”
“You're still working on that book?”
“Well, I started over a little while ago just to make sure I didn't miss anything.”
Sunny joined me on the sofa and gave me a skeptical look. “Uh-huh.”
“I'm serious.”
“There's no reason to get defensive. I believe you,” she said before changing subjects. “So how much pizza did you leave me?”
“There's still a couple of slices left.”
“That hungry, huh?”
I let out a nervous chuckle. “Yeah, I was.”
An awkward silence arose between the two of us as she placed a hand on my knee. After what seemed like hours (which in reality was a couple of minutes) she broke said silence.
“So...do you want to talk about it?”
“Talk about what?”
“About whatever it is that's bothering you.”
“I'm fine,” I lied. “Just, well, I'm getting tired of these casts and wish I could take them off.”
“There are still three weeks left before that happens,” she said with a small smile. “Look at it this way, the insurance company gave us enough to buy you a new car. Well, maybe not brand new, but better than that rust bucket I'm driving.”
DON'T FALL FOR THIS! SHE'S TRYING TO LURE YOU INTO A FALSE SENSE OF SECURITY SO THAT SHE CAN DUMP YOU WHEN YOU'RE AT YOUR WEAKEST.
“Twi?”
“Huh?”
“You zoned out again,” she said with a worried look. “Are you sure you're okay?”
“Yeah, my mind just wandered for a minute. What were you saying?”
“I asked you what kind of car you might like to buy with the insurance money,” she said.
“Oh, I really haven't given it any thought,” I said. “Maybe another sedan. What do you think?”
“I was thinking more along the lines of an SUV. That way we'll have enough room for all the baby stuff when we go out shopping after Gleaming is born,” she suggested.
“Sure. Let's go with that then,” I said flatly.
Another deafening silence.
“So that's it?” she asked. “No research on safety or reliability of the multiple makes and models? Or comparisons between what each manufacturer puts in their vehicles?”
“Nah,” I said. “We'll just play it by ear once I'm healed up.”
“Twilight, what is bothering you?” she asked, shifting so that she could comfortably hold both my hands.
ARE YOU READY TO ADMIT YOU'RE NOT A REAL WOMAN ANYMORE?
“Nothing! Okay? Nothing is bothering me! I just…” I yanked my hands free and clumsily got off the sofa. “I just want to be left alone. Okay? Is that so hard to understand?”
Sunny didn't say anything. I suppose she was in shock from my outburst. Anyhow, I limped down the hallway to the soon-to-be ex-study and slammed the door closed.
“She just…” I muttered as I wiped the wetness from my cheeks. “She doesn't understand. None of them do.” I clicked on the lamp and was greeted by the first photo I took with the girls.
SEE HOW HAPPY THEY WERE? THEY CAN'T BE THAT WAY ANYMORE WITH YOU AROUND. YOU'RE A BURDEN. A BURDEN ON SUNSET AND ON HER FRIENDS.
I sniffled as my conscious began verifying everything that I had believed since that day in the hospital. “You're right,” I whispered.
IF YOU LISTEN HARD ENOUGH RIGHT NOW, YOU CAN HEAR HER PLANS FOR TOMORROW.
I focused my attention as best I could through my sobs and sure enough, Sunny was talking to someone on the phone.
“Hey, Fluttershy. It's Sunset… Hey, can you pick up me tomorrow morning?”
There was a slight pause as I assumed Fluttershy was talking to her.
“Yeah… Yeah, I think I'm going to leave her… I know… Listen, I know it's probably not the best idea but she wants to be alone… Yeah… Mhmm… I think I'll let it be a surprise… Okay… Alright… See you tomorrow… Bye.”
I could not believe my ears. S-she is leaving me, I thought as tears flowed like rivers down my face. How could I have been so naive to think she would stay with a freak like me?
I crossed my arms as best as I could, set them on the desk, and buried my face into them. I wanted all of this to go away; to go back to how things were before the accident. I wanted my wife - no matter how moody she was - to love me again...
My train of thought was interrupted by a knock on the door.
“Twilight? I know you said you wanted to be left alone but I just wanted to let you know I'm taking Spike with me in the morning,” she said. “Twilight? You okay?”
I just nodded. I didn't want to let on that I overheard her plans.
She draped a blanket over my shoulders and replied, “Alright then. Just remember, I'm here when you want to talk.” She kissed the back of my head before slipping back out the door. “Good night, babe.”
To Be Continued...
