Fluttercord vs. Dislestia

The next day,

Discord had arrived at the castle and took Princess Celestia to his chaos dimension to practice their dating approaches. The room they were in was filled with self-help book on dating, chalkboards, cushions large enough for them to lay on and last but not least a table filled with all kinds of sweets and snack.

It took Celestia a moment to snap out of it when she saw a three layer cake. "Okay Discord lets get this over with." she lay down on a cushion as Discord floats in the air.

"Now, Now Celestia. We can't rush through this."

She rolls her eyes, "Fine. What do we do first."

"First we must find out how much we both know about dating the opposite gender. So show me your best pick up line."

Celestia became worried, "I am not sure about this."

"Come on. We both agree to help each other out right?"

"Fine." She stood up to prepare herself, "Ahem. Excuse me, sir. Would you like to accompany me for the day?"

Discord nods at this and takes a few notes, "Short and simple."

"I had some practice of my own."

"Okay, my turn. Ahem. Excuse me," Discord uses his magic to sweeps Celestia off her hooves and looks deep in her eyes, "I am on a quest to find the most beautiful mare in the lands, and I seem to have found something much better."

A light blush covers her face for a second before it was replaced with a glare. "Put me down."

"It adds to the effect." He smiles to himself as he let go of her.

"You said no touching," she said dusting her coat.

"I was using my magic. No part of me was touching you."

"How about you never do that again." She said angrily,

"Fine. So how was it?"

"Too forward. She would be scared to death by your ugly mug."

"I will have you know that this mug," Discord lifts a coffee mug with a smiling face on it, "Is one of the best looking mugs around."

Celestia glares at Discord, "You know what I meant."

"Whatever Princess." Discord tosses the mug away and crosses his arms, "Not like yours was any better."

"What!?"

"Oh Excuse me, random stallion sir," Discord said in a high pitch voice, "would you like to go on a date with the Princess of the Sun?"

"I said no such thing. Do not twist my words around Discord."

"It the same more or less." He said as he swipes a cupcake from the table and eating in one bite.

Celestia took this moment to sneak a bite from the cake before Discord notice that she did. She quickly wipes the evidence from her lip before she continues the conversation, "Really? Then having a random mare swipe off her hooves just to stare into your eyes is any better?"

"It would work." Discord said before he notices that there is a big bite in the cake.

"How many?" She deadpans.

"What?" He said not really apply attention as he tries to figure out how the cake got a big bite in it.

"How many Mares have you swayed with this technique of yours?"

He huffs at her before turning to face her while crossing his arms, "More than you with that lame pick up line."

"So more than seven mares?"

Discord had a flabbergasted look on his face. He couldn't believe Celestia would actually use the same pick-up line for seven different stallions. "You asked seven stallions out with that pickup line?"

Celestia looks away embarrassed, "I don't want to talk about it."

"Oh Please! I want to hear how that went."

"Can we focus on why we are here." She said quickly changing the subject.

"Fine. So it is safe to say that we have no idea what we are doing when it comes to courting other ponies."

"Unfortunately." They both look down in depression with a sigh,

"Well then." Discord spoke up, "Let's make a list on what went wrong with our approach." He pulls over one of the chalkboards in the room while wearing a pair of glass and a lab coat. "Let's start with you, Celestia."

"Can't we do yours first."

"Oh come now. What happened to ladies first?"

"You are a gentle Stallion?"

"You want to date at your age?"

Celestia's face darkens, "Watch it."

"Sorry." Discord said backing up, "Alright then." He then draws a stick figure of Celestia on the board. "First thing we must point out is you."

"I am aware of that."

"No." Discord pulls out a pointing-stick then taps the board. "I mean you in general," he says circling the little figure with his stick.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean you have got to remember who you are and how the average stallion see himself compare to you."

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"Everything." Discord then draws some ponies on the board but are very small compared to the Celestia figure. "You are the leader of everypony around them and you are asking them if they want to date and possibly marry you."

Celestia rubs one hoof against the other not realizing she has forgotten about her position in Equestria when she started asking stallions out, "Well, when you put it that way... wait who said anything about getting married?"

Discord looks at Celestia in confusion, "Isn't that the whole point of dating?"

"Well... well... ah... well yes, but no pony says it out loud."

"Why?"

"I really don't know. It just makes everypony uncomfortable. That is all."

"You ponies are so sensitive."

"Was there a point to your statement?"

"Right. What I am saying is that not just anypony is going to have the courage to date the leader of the nation. Most of them would be scared to death at the idea. I am just surprised that those stallions you ask are fine even after you asked them out." Without Discord knowing Celestia looked away in embarrassment, "With that in mind, you would have to start dating somepony that you have deep feelings for. Not just some random pony who so happens to be nice to you every now and then. It just won't work out."

"I get what you mean. But if that this the case, then my options for dating stallions just went to zero." Celestia slouches down on to her cushion, "It is just very hard to make friends when the only ponies that you ever meet every day want nothing to do with you except for your okay on something they want. I sometimes feel envious of Twilight's ability to make new friends where ever she goes."

"You poor lonely little pony." Discord gave Celestia a small hug from behind not seeing a small tear going down her cheek.

It took everything Celestia had not to have a mental break down and cry her eyes out as she continues to share her pain, "Why can't everypony understand that despite me being the leader of Equestria, I am still just a pony, just like everypony else." They stayed like that for a while before they break the hug, "Thank you Discord."

He smiles back her, "What are friends for?"

"Now let's move onto your problem."

"Excuse me?! My approach is flawless!"

"No mare wants to be swept off their hooves by a random stranger."

"It is supposed to be romantic."

"That kind of thing can only be found in a cheap romance novel. No pony in real life would want that to happen to them."

Meanwhile in Pony Ville,

Big Mac has just swept Suger Belle off her hooves and stares into her eyes, "Oh, Suger Belle. You are the most beautiful mare in Equestria." He said brushing the side of her face.

"Oh, Big Mac."

"You don't know that!"

"Regardless, I believe we are done for now. I am needed back at Canterlot."

"Already?"

"You just showed up out of nowhere and basically ponynapped me. I still have duties that need my attention."

"Fine. But when are we supposed to meet up again?"

"I believe I can make some time three days from now. In the meantime, I suggest that you practice with Fluttershy on how to ask a mare out." Celestia didn't notice the nervous look on Discord face when she said that.

"But isn't that what you were supposed to be doing?"

"I would if I could, but I must return to Canterlot. I am sure Fluttershy would be more than willing to help you out. Remember Discord it is just practice. I am sure Fluttershy will understand. Until next time Discord."

"Yeah. See you later Tia." Discord said turning away and snapping his claws to send Celestia back to Canterlot.

She found herself in her chambers. Celestia knows that she has to get moving, however, she stood there confused as to the pounding feeling in her chest. She looks down as she lifts a hoof to her chest. "Did my heart skip a beat?" She shakes her head in denial, "He was just being nice. He didn't mean anything by it." she told herself. "So what if Discord hasn't called me that in over a thousand years, so what? It doesn't mean anything." She tries to convince herself, but that didn't stop the pounding of her heart as she walks to the door. But she stops as she reaches for the knob.

She looks down before turning around and uses her magic to open her closest and pull out a small box. It has a faded pink tone with faded letters on the top. She sets the small box in front of her open the box. There where old letters inside and old trinkets and a small grey bunny doll on top of it all. She reaches inside and pulls out the doll and holds it at eye level. "He wasn't trying to tell me anything right?" There was a moment of silence before she squeezes the doll to her chest and lets out a sigh as old memories flow through her head.

A long time ago,

Two creatures could be seen under a tree, one was a white unicorn with pink hair and the other a miss shape creature.

"Hay Tia?"

"Yes?"

"I was wondering. Do you like dolls?"

"Why do you ask?"

He pulls out a white bunny doll and gives it to her. She takes it and just looks at it. "Well, because you are a girl and I thought girls would like dolls."

"Discord," Celestia said while putting the doll to the side, "I'm going to be a young adult soon. I have no time for playing with dolls."

"Oh. Well, I can get you something else if you like."

"No, it is alright. Just next time try something sweet."

"You know you are going to get fat if you don't stop eating sweeeeee-" Celestia uses her magic to pull on Discord's ear bring closer to her enraged face.

"I am NOT fat!"

"I didn't say that!" Discord said panicking, "I just said that you would become fat if you don't take it easy on the sweet!"

"You take back what you said!"

"But it is the truth!"

The memory fades away as Celestia puts the doll back in its place before putting the box away and leaving her room.

We now turn to Suger Cube Corner. More precise downward into Pinkie's secret party room. We can see Pinkie next to a strange device with a hose pointing at Fluttershy.

"I am not sure about this Pinkie," Fluttershy said worried,

"Hay you are the one that wants to date Discord. Not me." Pinkie said while wearing a teachers outfit, "Now than repeat after me. I like you Discord."

"I... I..."

"Yes, yes come on."

"I... like..."

"Come on!"

"I like hanging out with you Discord."

"Nope. wrong answer." Pinkie then pulled a lever on the machine and water gush out the hose.

"Eep." Fluttershy was thankful for her cowardice this once. It has given her a quick reaction time to dodge the water.

"Come on Fluttershy," Pinkie said turning off the machine, "that's the tenth time you said that. I can only help you out with so much before you are on your own. And we haven't even gotten to the 'Getting turned down of a date' training yet."

"I know. I know," Fluttershy said coming out from her hiding spot, "But this is the first time I have ever tried to go out of my way to ask somepony to be my special somepony. I just get so nervous that I choke."

Pinkie rubs her head, "Why was this so much easier with Twilight?"

"What?"

"Oh come on. Did you forget already that we helped out with Twilight getting hitch up with Thorax?"

"Oh, how could I forget? The wedding was amazing."

"It was, wasn't it. Also, didn't you say something to Twilight that made her continue on with dating Thorax?"

"I did?"

"Yeah, I think it was 'If you can't bring yourself to see him for a date, then how will you ever find the courage to talk to another stallion that you may like later?' "

"Did I say that?"

"Yep, you did. So you got to mare up and just go for it. I mean just look at how well Twilight and Thorax ended up, and you were part of that."

"You are right. I can do this."

"At a girl."

"Next week," she said quickly before speeding out the door.

"Fluttershy!"