Rainbow Dash was nervous.
That in itself was enough to make her hooves feel shaky. She never felt nervous, except for those one or two times, but they didn’t count. She almost never felt nervous.
The worst part was knowing that it was entirely her own fault. She was the one who had suggested it last time they were together. She was the one who had acted like it was no big deal. If it went badly, she had nopony to blame but herself.
And that made her more nervous than anything.
Accountability and loyalty were not interchangeable. She would still be a loyal friend if she didn’t knock on the door, wouldn’t she? Just because they made a promise didn’t mean she really had to knock, right?
She screwed up her eyes and groaned in frustration, before quickly looking around the street to see if anypony had seen her. It was deserted, as befitted the time of day. Everything was coated in an endless dark blue shadow, just like every night. She could probably have slipped away into the darkness without anypony even knowing she was ever here.
But she’d know.
She would remember breaking the promise and running away, no matter what lies she told Twilight in the morning. Loyalty, loyalty, loyalty. She couldn’t abandon her friend.
I’m not abandoning her, or even cancelling! I just don’t want to do it tonight!
Telling herself straight-up lies wasn’t helping with her trembling hooves. The fact of the matter was that she suggested it, not Twilight. Why would she suggest something she didn’t want to do? That went against every aspect of her personality. Rainbow Dash actively avoided anything she didn’t want to do.
Okay, so, maybe I do want to do it. Just a little bit.
She glared at the door, feeling extremely silly all of a sudden. Her anger was directionless, which just added to her frustration.
“So I want to kiss Twilight. So what? Who cares?” she muttered to herself. “Everypony likes kisses. They’d be stupid to tease me for it.”
No, they’re gonna tease me ‘cause she’s a mare, idiot.
While far from unheard of, there was still quite a lot of stigma attached to that particular notion, enough to make even the most carefree ponies tread lightly when the subject was brought up. Dash didn’t care, of course. If she wanted to talk about it, she’d talk about it, social stigma be damned. She just always avoided the topic because she felt like it, that’s all.
It didn’t help that several of her friends had privately asked her if she swung that way. The memory of Fluttershy of all ponies putting a hoof on Dash’s shoulder and saying that she accepted her immediately came to mind. Rainbow had snapped at her, denying it with all of her might. The poor pony hadn’t stopped apologising for weeks afterwards.
So that topic is a sore spot for me - who cares? Everypony has things that make them feel uncomfortable.
But why did it make her feel so uncomfortable? She wasn’t gay, so that couldn’t be it. Maybe it was just one of those phobias like spiders and clowns? Yeah, that was it. Just one of those silly, random, completely uncontrollable phobias.
Rainbow Dash stood up straighter, feeling slightly better now that she had a bit of closure. Her plans for the night were waiting behind the door, and she was already a little late.
Right.
So.
1. Go inside the library.
2. Kiss Twilight (in a straight way, duh).
3. Go home and get some sleep.
Rainbow Dash nodded resolutely. Rainbow Dash always had a plan. Rainbow Dash was prepared for anything at all times, because she was Rainbow Dash. Rainbow Dash wasn’t going to spend another second moping around outside. She was going to knock on the door right now, and go inside without waiting for Twilight to open it. Right now!
Now!
That was a practice one, performing the knocking movement in the air to make sure her hoof wouldn’t pull a muscle when she did the real thing. Not that she needed practice. She was Rainbow Dash.
Now!
Whoops, she forgot to test her other hoof too. Proper stretching was important before any physical task. Rainbow Dash didn’t need to stretch, of course, she just did it so other ponies wouldn’t get jealous. Rainbow Dash was nothing if not considerate.
Okay, this time. This time for real.
She raised her hoof purposefully, and slowly moved it forward to tap against the wood. It barely made a sound.
Oh well, she’s not home.
Rainbow spun around and spread her wings, but before she could take off the door swung inwards with a creak.
“Hello Rainbow! I’m so glad you could… make… it?” Twilight trailed off questioningly.
Quickly turning back to face the unicorn, Dash scratched the back of her head guiltily. Which was stupid, because she had no reason to feel guilty.
“I knocked, but, uh, there was no answer,” she explained, hoping her friend would buy it.
“Oh. Okay.” Twilight blinked.
Phew!
“Well,” the librarian continued, “are you still interested in that thing we talked about?” It was at this moment that Rainbow noticed Twilight’s mane. It looked stunning, almost as if she had gone to a salon or something. She had a little cyan band around the tip, and the pegasus thought it rather suited her. “Uh, Dash?”
“Oh! Uh, yeah, I mean, only if you are. I totally don’t care either way.” She inspected her left hoof to emphasise just how little it bothered her.
Twilight just smiled and took a step back, allowing Dash to walk past her. In the main area of the library sat a pile of cushions and blankets, all lit by a couple of candles that were replacing the usual lights. It seemed Twilight had done everything in her power to decorate the place romantically, even though this was just an experiment.
“Jeez Twi, how long did it take to set all of this up?”
Closing the door behind her, the proud librarian followed Dash over to the cushions. “I spent all day getting everything perfect. Do you really like it?”
Rainbow dove into a stack of blankets with a war cry, her head emerging moments later. “Almost as comfy as my clouds. Not bad.”
Twilight beamed and started trotting closer before remembering something. “Oh, I made some dinner for us. Are you hungry? Or… do you want to get straight to the thing?” Her cheeks reddened but she didn’t stop smiling.
After pondering for a moment, Rainbow decided that food would be a welcome delay. Plus she really was hungry. Honest.
And really, Twilight was acting like this was a date or something. Dash felt a bit of admiration for how much effort her friend put into her experiments.
“Food sounds good, whatcha got?” Slipping out from beneath the blankets, Rainbow followed Twilight into the kitchen.
“Well, I looked up all the traditional romantic meals, but I can’t cook very well, so instead I just… uh…” She gave Rainbow a hopeful smile. “I hope you like sandwiches!”
As a matter of fact, Dash did like sandwiches. She particularly liked how they had a very unromantic vibe about them… even when they were cut into heart shapes. It helped dispel a little of the gayness from the whole situation. Rainbow Dash wasn’t gay, and neither was Twilight. They were just doing an experiment. As friends.
A friendly experiment.
Once the sandwiches had been banished to their stomachs for all eternity, Twilight shyly suggested that they relocate to the pile of blankets. Rainbow stoically rationalised it as a simple desire for comfort. Who doesn’t love relaxing after dinner? It’s not like they were going to cuddle or any–
Twilight slipped her hooves around Dash’s waist as they lay face to face, one pair of eyes half-closed seductively and the other wide open.
So she likes to cuddle, who doesn’t? Everypony likes cuddling. There’s nothing gay about cuddling.
On that basis alone, she returned the gesture. It definitely wasn’t because Twilight felt so warm against her, or because of the way the candlelight glinted in those big, adorable eyes. She was just politely returning a friendly hug after a friendly dinner on a friendly night together. Nothing gay about that at all.
Rainbow instinctively moved forward and nuzzled Twilight softly. Not because she was insanely attracted to her friendly friend, of course, but simply because she recalled reading in a Daring Do book about a native tribe who thanked each other by nuzzling. Therefore, she was simply thanking Twilight for such a friendly and relaxing friend-night together as friends.
Well, no point wasting time. She needed to check the second item off her list, and she wasn’t going to do it by just lying there.
Pulling Twilight hard against her, Rainbow desperately kissed those purple lips as quickly and thoroughly as possible. The librarian squeaked and giggled under the onslaught, trying to return fire when she could. Dash found herself grinning as she worked, climbing on top of Twilight to get as close as possible.
Y’know, maybe science can be fun after all.
Rainbow paused in her attack on the squirming mess that was her friend only to make something very clear. “I’m not gay, by the way.”
Twilight giggled again. “If you say so.”
“Yeah, well, I do say so,” replied Dash defensively.
“We’ll just have to be as straight as possible as we make out then.” The librarian laughed even harder.
The pegasus grinned. “Yeah, exactly! I knew you’d understand!” Happy to know that Twilight was just as straight as she was, Rainbow Dash continued to kiss her.
Their tongues met in a little dance that sent shivers up Rainbow’s spine. A breathless gasp escaped her lips and she held back a little giggle. Okay, so maybe it was a little bit gay. Just a tiny bit. The normal amount. Everypony liked ponies who were the same gender, especially if they were a really close friend like Twilight. This didn’t really mean anything.
Twilight took control of the moment, rolling Rainbow onto her back and breaking the kiss in order to grin down at her friend. “I’m so glad you suggested this, Dash.” The candlelight played across her smile in such a tantalising way that Rainbow couldn’t even formulate a response, instead wrapping her hooves around the purple mare’s neck to bring her down for another bout.
So…
It was more than a little bit gay.
Not much more!
But… still more.
Doubt began to eat away at the back of her mind. If she wasn’t as straight as she thought she was, then how could she be sure she wasn’t completely gay? Rainbow frowned in thought as her tongue explored Twilight’s mouth. If only there was a way to find out for sure… maybe some sort of test, or… experiment?
She bit Twilight’s lip in frustration.
I’m getting nowhere here!
What she needed was a second opinion from somepony close to her. Somepony who knew her intimately enough to know her sexuality. Preferably somepony really smart who could recognise the signs of being gay. All the really subtle things that only the most astute of ponies noticed.
Rainbow broke the kiss, suddenly seized by worry. “Twilight…” she whispered nervously. “I think I might be gay.”
The unicorn smiled and softly caressed Rainbow’s cheek with one hoof before tenderly replying.
“No shit.”
