John Sampson's Story

“Oh, John. Would you believe that legend persists even today?

“That might be useful, if I were still a stallion.”

“You know that you could be again.”

“We will not abandon Fred.”

“Fred has long outgrown any need for your support. And I believe that if you released him, Luna would immediately take him in. Bud waited until your last foal was weaned before coming here and you have way more than enough family to raise them.

“We will abandon no foal! Ever!”

“I didn’t suggest that, John. I said you have all the mare help you could ask for if you chose to raise them as a stallion. Just consider it.”

“Wouldn’t I still be a threat to Equestria?”

“Not really. Your diluted bloodline has brought us to the dawn of a golden age. Most of the reasons to fight over you are gone now.”

“Even if we did decide to return to my old body, we would spend some time taking care of family and making the transition smooth. But I will think about it.”

That damned alarm! Why didn’t somepony complain about that noise?

Our morning routine passed as usual until we walked in the door of the cafeteria. Colonel Steel was waiting.

“Same order, darling. I’ll take the heat.”

“Major, did you know that my first duty every morning is to review the Royal Proclamations? I have to check for a potential security breach and this morning I may have found one. It seems one of my officers wants to publicly admit to casting dangerous spells on himself. Do you think that is a good idea?”

“No, sir, I don’t. But it is the best of several bad ideas.”

“I can redact it or send it back for reconsideration. All of the Princesses have seen it now so no effect would be lost.”

“Part of my honor would be lost, sir.”

“That’s what I thought you’d say. Very well. Have a good day, Major.”

“What was that all about?” Swift had arrived bearing food.

“I confessed to being the cause of the noise complaint. The Colonel was just confirming it.”

“Who did you confess to?”

“Luna and Celestia”

“Good. Maybe all of this will die down now.”

Breakfast was pleasant but as we were leaving I noticed a group gathering in a corner of the room. They seemed focused on something on the floor so I just had to go look. It was a pony, a Private, a familiar Private, sleeping laid across a duffel bag. I motioned for Swift to join me then I motioned for everypony to stand back.

Swift glanced at him and “a-ten-HUT”

Colt jumped to his feet at full attention. It might have worked if he had been on the floor instead of on top of his duffel. I’ve got to give him credit. He rolled once and came up saluting.

“Private Berry reporting, sir. . . Major John? . . SIR.”

I returned salute, “At ease, Private. Now, what the bloody hell are you doing sleeping in the mess?”

“I got my orders assigning me to your office yesterday. I couldn’t get on the noon train because the ticket office was closed for some holiday. Then the night train was reserved so I couldn’t get on it. So I walked. Everybody had gone to bed when I got here so I waited here.”

Damned. I could hardly blame him for any of that. “You’re lucky the Colonel didn’t spot you. He was just here. He’d geld you for this.”

A helpful voice from the crowd spoke up, “He saw him, sir. He said you’d handle it.”

“Very well. Private, you will report to the Company Clerks office. If the clerk isn’t in, you will stand next to the door until the clerk arrives. You will get all of your papers and billet straight. You will familiarize yourself with the Castle in general and the Guard Sector in detail until sundown. Tomorrow morning at zero five hundred you be here, in the mess, wide awake and ready for duty. Do you understand soldier?”

“Yes, SIR.”

“Dismissed.” And Swift and I headed for PT.

We were in the Doctor’s office after a normal PT. The Admin Nurse decided to handle us personally, settling us in a comfortable office.

“The Doctor will be with you momentarily, Major.”

And she was, “Good morning, Major, Captain. I have some interesting news for you.” Doctor Red smiled. “You, sir, are one hell of a stallion. You have a high count of nearly perfect sperm but most amazing is their motility. I believe that you could ejaculate on the vulva of a mare and impregnate her.”

“Doc. That’s human normal. Of course the farther the sperm have to travel, the fewer will make it but they are made to swim uphill.”

“I had suspected as much but that’s not the best part. We ran a chimera test and you passed it. In fact, you passed it three times.”

“Doctor, what exactly is a ‘chimera test’?”

“We extract ova from an animal, usually a rodent, then spell the ova to counterfeit pony ova. Outside a uterus it won’t develop past a few divisions but it gives us an indication that the sperm being tested will fertilize a mare.”

“Doctor, speculate with me for a minute. Let us suppose that an energetic young foreigner decide to become a pony. That this ignorant youngster had never performed magic in his life and yet had managed to accumulate a great deal of it. So for his first spell he swore a mighty Oath to make himself a pony, the best pony he could be. Further suppose that in the back of his mind while he was composing and speaking this Oath he was dreaming of having the best pony family with the best foals. How do you think that would work out medically?”

“I believe that I can look forward to attending a lot of births for your band, Major.” And Doctor Red smiled from ear to ear.

“Are there any other tests that we need?”

“No, I think you just answered all the questions I had. Thank you very much, Major.”

“Captain, I will be here at the same time tomorrow with the clerk I promised. Can you have me a non-essential but knowledgeable nurse to work with him?

“Of course. And I have a room with supplies. I’m looking forward to seeing just what you are up to.

“We’ll see you then.”

In the hall I asked Swift, “Let’s go see Twilight.”

“Okay.”

We walked up to Twilight’s main door. The usual doorpony was there. We asked if Twilight was in. He spoke to a speaking tube briefly and let us in. Twilight was in her second floor library looking like student studying for finals.

“I come bearing gifts, Princess.”

She looked me up and down then behind me, “I don’t see anything.”

“The best kind of gifts, Princess, intangible gifts. Gifts that can’t be lost or broken.”

“Now I’m worried. Stallions with promises are the bane of every mare.”

“You wound me, My Princess. All I ask in return are a few trifles. A library, and the answers to two questions.”

“I’m still working on your last question. I don’t know if I can stand two more.”

Uh oh. “Which question are you still working on?”

“What it will take for you to be properly fertile with a pony mare.”

“Twilight, I’m sorry but I’ve already answered that question.”

“You have?” Oh so sweetly “Pray tell, what is your answer and how did you find it?”

“I’m more fertile than the average pony stallion and you told me.”

“I . . told . . . you? . . . John, have you ever seen a pissed off Alicorn? Would you like to?”

“The key was in our discussion of my magic and how it relates to my Oath. Remember that I wanted to be the best pony that I could? Behind that I was defining ‘best pony’ as the strongest protector of the best family of the best foals. I spelled myself to fertility. The Doctor tested it and confirmed it.

“And Twilight, we’re not an hour out of the doctors office yet. We came as soon as the ramifications sank in.”

“John, that’s actually a very astute understanding of magic for a complete beginner. For that you’ll get your first trifle. What kind of books do you want?”

“Basic to advanced general knowledge starting with magic. And some language primers. I’ll have to learn to read then learn exactly what the state of the art is in Equestria. I was impressed by the use of magic to obtain detailed internal images of me. I was not impressed by a doctor’s complete ignorance of basic biology. At some point I want to drop some useful hints on Equestrian academia. Now, ask me any question.”

“Why do you want to do these things for Equestria?”

“Because it is my nature. I can’t not do it. That is part of what my cutie mark means.”

“How could you prove something like that?”

“Ask Swift, or AJ, or Luna. They have all seen my heart. Ask Colonel Steel.”

“What was that exchange with you two the other night?”

“Please, Twilight, you won’t like that answer.”

“I want it anyway!”

“I asked the Colonel to personally grant me a quick and honorable death should Celestia deem it necessary.”

“That’s just not possible, John.”

“It’s what all the Services do, Twilight. We die that the greater mass of civilians can live in peace and harmony. Ask Swift.”

“No! Ponies have grown beyond such violent ways.”

“I’m sure we have, Twilight, but what about the rest of the universe? Some of them haven’t got the memo yet. Remember that Manticore? I was perfectly willing to live and let live. He was hungry. Someone has to stand between the children and the Manticores.”

“You ate that Manticore. How is that any better than him eating you?”

“I ate him so that his death wouldn’t be wasted after I killed him to keep him from killing me. He was stalking me. I was walking around him.

“Now for my question. How does a heartbond affect or influence other strong magic? Specifically, could somepony heartbonded with me access my magic or be influenced by it? Could the Magic of Harmony used by a Bearer influence or be influenced by a heartbond?

“Are you thinking of AJ?”

“Some. I’m also worried about Swift. We heartbonded before we knew that my magic is tied to my heart. I wouldn’t mind Swift accessing it but I wouldn’t want it accessing Swift. I may also want to bond with a Unicorn someday.”

“That will and intent thing would apply here. Your magic couldn’t harm anyone you didn’t intend to harm nor could your magic be accessed without your directed will.

“Re the Elements, we know that historically they have withdrawn from this world rather than permit less than ideal access. They represent a will beyond any single pony and are are very well protected from abuse. So I wouldn’t worry about heartbonding with AJ. Or an Alicorn.”