John Sampson's Story

Back in the Castle for fifteen minutes and I have a list of problems already. Celestia is holding Court so ‘informal’ will have to wait. Steel will likely have something to add to the list but is worth being right with so I’ll start there.

His clerk waved me through. He jumped up behind his desk to bow to me so I saluted him and we both chuckled. I got comfortable and he closed the door.

I said, “I’m officially back, at least for now. Farm life is good and my inner horse loves it.”

Steel nodded, “Everything here is calm. Your legend has grown another notch. It’s hard to miss the difference in Twilight. And I have a report that you will probably want to address personally. It involves loud noises and colored lightning on several occasions from a region between the Everfree and Sweet Apple Acres. It’s been suggested that it might be another arrival similar to yours.”

“Did that report also mention anything about wobbly stars?”

“No but there was some mention of those here at about the same time.”

“Who made the report?”

“It was made by the local weather Pegasi at the request of a number of local officials. The are asking for a squad to investigate. Am I correct in assuming that you are involved in this somehow?”

“For the record, I am completely aware of everything that happened and there is no danger or concern for anypony anywhere. The rest is Royal business and nopony else’s.”

“John, you’ve told me you have a favorite playground somewhere around there. Are you telling me you took a Unicorn out there?”

“Nope.”

“An Alicorn?

“I can’t tell you that.”

Steel nodded, “I understand. The report was made by Rainbow Dash, who is one of the Element Bearers and a very stubborn pony. You might want to pay a personal visit.”

“We’ve met. In fact, I just came from arranging rain for the farm so I know what you mean. Prince John relieves you of this responsibility.”

“Thank you. I’ve heard the armorers have something ready for you. Want to go check it out?”

“Hell yes. I might even wear it to this conversation just for the effect.”

They did good. They not only had a beautiful and fully functional sword, somepony had put some thought into a scabbard. It had a belt with a broad strap that went from just outside of my left knee to the belt then up and over my right shoulder and back to the belt in the front. There was a short and fairly wide mouthed scabbard on the bottom and two hooks for the cross even with my right shoulder. The hooks had some spring action to them so the sword took a lot of effort to start up but would be free almost immediately. It could be extremely dangerous for anyone too close behind me but I could get it around and into action about as fast as a conventional sword. I liked it a lot and said so.

The sword had my mark in the pommel and the entire Royal Herd engraved on the blade with Celestia on top and me on the bottom. Celestia’s mark and mine were slightly larger than the rest. Holy crap, this is naming me herd stallion and protector.

I put it all on and headed for the lab. Making sure everypony was clear, I dialed up my strength a little and practiced drawing and swinging it. It is sweet.

One of the armorers told me, “That post over there is our proof test. It’s extra hard wood. Hit it hard as you can. The depth will tell us how hard you hit and any flaws in the blade will come out then.”

So I squared off with the post and it felt like cutting bread, mushy with drag but no real resistance. I cut the post clean through.

They were just beaming, “The blade is enchanted to be unbreakable and always sharp. You just proved it.”

“I don’t know how to say it. The first blade you made saved my life and my hope for this one is to save Equestria. Good work, hell, great work.” And we bowed to each other.

I’ve got to find some challenges for those two.

I left Steel at his office and still had a couple of hours left so I headed for the doctor. The double takes at my new sword are hilarious. The admin nurse didn’t question anything. Major John was too much for her so Prince John is scary.

I unbuckled my sword and got undressed in the exam room. Doctor Red came right in.

“What’s this about a pony body?”

I sighed, “I’m working on one but I’m not there yet. I do have a complete and fully functional horse body. I’ll show you in a minute but first you have to know that the horse body has practically no vocal ability. I can understand you but I can only answer by things like head movements or pointing.”

“Go ahead.”

So I bent over and shifted before my hooves hit the floor. The doctor blinked then stared a normal exam.

“Do you have your magic in this shape?”

I nodded.

“I can hear the multiple heartbeat so there is no doubt it is your body. Your skeletal structure is subtly different but within the realm of possible for a pony. The same applies to most of your organs with the eyes being the most striking difference.”

He looked at my mouth carefully, “No, you’ll never speak understandably with that structure unless there’s a translation spell of some kind.”

I changed back and said, “I’d like a semen sample taken too. I’ve got a sterility spell on my human body and I’d like to be sure it applies to this body too.”

“I can tell you that already. It does. Any Unicorn can see it if they know where to look.”

“Good, I’ll still have to find out if I’m making pony sperm or horse sperm but I’ll leave that until I have the sterility spell removed.”

I promised the doctor to come back for that fertility exam and some other detail work and then I promised myself some dinner.

Swift was sitting at the table. Twilight was deep in whatever she had going on in her library. Spike was ranting at Twilight.

So I got involved, “Hello, Twilight.”

“mumble mumble”

“You’ve got to do better than that, Twilight.”

“In a minute.”

Spike just looked disgusted, “It’s been ‘in a minute’ for forty five minutes now.”

“Last chance, Twilight.”

“Just one more minute.”

I counted it down then reached over and grasped Twilight around the barrel lifting her and walking toward the stairs. It got loud.

“Twilight, language like that in front of Spike?”

That slowed her down.

“You need to eat. I need to eat. And we need to talk. After dinner the problem will still be here.”

“Put me down. I’ll eat. But some day you’ll go too far.”

“That relates to one of the subjects I want to discuss. Please take a good look at my new sword in the rack next to the front door.”

“I don’t care about stallion games.”

“It’s not the blade I want you to see. It’s the decorations.”

A very somber Twilight came to the table.

“Does that mean what I think it means, John?”

“I know almost as much about it as you do. I am going to be standing next to Celestia when she raises the sun in the morning and it will most certainly figure into the conversation somewhere. When I leave there I will have to run an errand to Ponyville. When I return I will come home to here.”

Swift wanted to know, “What’s in Ponyville that we just missed?”

“I’ve got to clean up your mess.”

Swift was surprised, “My mess?”

“Yeah. Remember that deal you made with Cadance? Well the locals are demanding an investigation of the loud noises and bright lights from our campsite.”

“Oh no. You made those lights and noises. That’s another of your messes, not mine.”

Twilight is giggling and Spike is just confused.

I had sympathy for Spike, “It was one of those heat week events, Spike.”

We groomed a little while then piled in the bedroom.

I love the feel of feathers. But a small voice is saying, “Zero four hundred, John.” So I must put them aside and stumble to the toilet. I hear Swift doing the same on the other side.

Spike has that wonderful tea ready and a few cups later I am beginning to resemble life. This morning will be different. I will dress in an official uniform and carry my sword when I leave here and have breakfast but no PT.

There is an electric atmosphere when I step into the cafeteria. Everypony rises and bows. Swift heads for the window to get our food. I acknowledge and take my seat. My sword takes the seat next to mine. There’s a lot of quiet conversations going on around the room.

Swift brings my favorite and we eat quietly.

“Swift, you don’t have to go with me.”

“I want to. And you need somepony to watch your back.”

“You can’t go with me when I speak with the Princesses. You’ll have to wait in the throne room.”

“I understand.”

“I wish you could. It’s an experience that more ponies should have, standing between Luna and Celestia as they change the night to day.”

Luna was sitting on Her Throne looking bored.

“Hail, John Sampson and Swift Trail.”

“Hello, Your Majesty.” And bowed to her.

“Thou art here with the ultimate goal of Audience with Celestia.”

“She has asked for me but I choose to visit with friends also.”

“Well said, friend John. Let us adjourn to somewhere more comfortable.”

She rose and we followed her to the garden behind the Throne Room.

She seated Herself and, “Have great care, friend John. I believe that Celestia be building a Throne for thou. Accepting it would’st mean the end of many things for thou.”

“Have you seen my new sword, Luna. It makes a very interesting read.”

I turned to make it easy for Her to see.

“Truly, friend John, this confirms thy fate. Thou must admit to walking merrily to thy gallows.”

“I don’t see that.”

“This season last, thou covered every mare of the Royal Herd save one. Thy be one short step from Herd Stallion. Thy sword shouts My Sister’s intention to take that step.”

“Friend Luna, will you grant me a small favor? I wish for Swift to accompany us to the balcony and witness the Majesty of the Sisters. It would not be safe for her to witness Celestia’s machinations so You would have to bring her back down to wait for me in the Throne Room.”

“It would be my pleasure, friend John.”

“By the way, it will amuse you to know that I will travel to Ponyville when we are done here for the purpose of allaying fears of a magical disturbance some weeks ago in a small pasture between the Apple farm and the Everfree Forest.”

That got a full laugh from Luna, “Oh, John. Were we so loud?”

“It seems a habit with me.”

Swift was looking disturbed.

“Friend Swift, be thou enjoying thy introduction to the Royal lifestyle?”

Swift replied, “It’s my fault. John was there because I made a deal with Cadance to trade time with him for time with Shining.”

Luna cast a sympathetic look at Swift, “And how did it come to pass that Cadance was there at that moment? Because Celestia invited Her? This be the very nature of life with My Sister.”

Luna rose and motioned for us to follow. We traced the familiar path to the special balcony where Celestia was waiting. I’m getting used to it but Swift is frozen in awe. Then it is done and I’m headed to confrontation with Celestia. Luna is shepherding an awestruck Swift.

We made our way to a familiar kitchen where two cups of tea were waiting.

Celestia was all smiles, “I am proud of what you’ve done for Twilight. My faith in you has been more than justified.”

I smiled back, “Thank you, just remember that I did it for Twilight, not for you.”

“I have heard that you are on your way to Ponyville to attend to some Royal Affairs.”

“I’d say more like squash a Royal Affair.”

“I see you’re wearing your new sword. How do you like it?”

“I love it. The decorations confuse me, though.”

“You know what it means. We need to break you in gradually and get to work on that plan of yours at the same time. Next season we can confirm your full status. You can start by sitting court with Twilight occasionally.”

“Be explicit, Celestia. You know I won’t be a figurehead.”

“Herd Stallion, Consort to me and co-ruler should be enough. If your plan to improve the herd works as well as your plan to improve Twilight, you will have earned it.”

"What will Luna do?"

"Luna will do as she does now except for fewer boring government functions. She will like it better.

"And you think the Blueblood herd will just accept their loss of status?”

“Will they have a choice?”

“They will always have choices, just maybe no good ones. Beware of ponies that believe the first step to winning a thing is making sure that you don't. And Celestia, no matter what the world sees or believes, my mares are protected. That is absolute and includes Twilight.”

“I have no problem with that, John. You have some of the finest mares in Equestria. Your band will be making the finest foals, exactly what we need.”

I made way back to the Throne Room and collected Swift there. She was still somewhat in shock but she had a message from Luna.

“Luna said to take the Royal Train. The Herd Stallion rates it and it will get us there and back before lunch.”

Luna must have ordered it readied because they were just pulling up to the platform when we got to the station. We board and are on our way.

Swift is sorting many things, “John, what have we got ourselves into? The Sisters have the power of goddesses and we are taking to Royal train to Ponyville because you covered one of them. It hurts my head to think about.”

“Swift, it’s going to get worse before it gets better. Celestia is herd mare to all ponies. She is going to do what is best for the greater herd no matter how it affects any individual. That isn’t a bad thing but she’s been alone in this position for a thousand years. She has lost many things we take for granted and doesn’t remember what she’s lost.”

We rode along deep in thought for a while then the train began to slow. We were approaching Ponuville.

“Please, John, take AJ there as soon as you can. She needs to know who they really are.”

It is morning in Ponyville. The world is shiny and new as ponies begin the day’s business. We head for the weather office across town.

There is organized chaos when walk in. They are getting the day’s assignments out. Rainbow Dash is in the back of the room directing things.

Rainbow looks up, “If you have any changes you better make them fast. The crew is leaving in minutes.”

“No changes. This is an official visit. Get your crews out then we will talk privately.”

A few seconds later I heard a gasp behind me. Somepony has noticed my sword. More ponies arrived and there is a hushed conference.

“We’re sorry, Ma’am. We didn’t know.”

They’re bowing to Swift.

Swift turns on them and opens up in her best Sergeant to worm voice, “You still don’t know. Read the rest of it!”

“Ma’am, we don’t recognize the mark in the Stallion’s position.”

I turned slightly and pulled my pants down enough to expose my flank. Several exclamations followed.

“Forgive us Your Majesty.”

My point was made, “Nothing to forgive. The Title is new so you wouldn’t know. Get on with your jobs so I can get my business done.”

In a few minutes we were walking into an office behind Rainbow. Swift closed the door behind us.

Rainbow bowed and motioned for me to take her chair, “Please forgive me for my conduct yesterday. I didn’t know about your Title.”

“I didn’t either, Rainbow. Celestia made the decision while I was working with AJ on the farm. I’m wearing the sword to accustom myself to the weight because I got it after returning to Canterlot yesterday. But I’m here because you have made inquiry into Royal business, my personal Royal business.”

“The only inquiry I’ve sent was to the Guard to ask for an investigation of unknown phenomena near the Everfree. Is that it?

“The very same. I was there myself for all events and I can state absolutely that there is no danger or concern for anypony anywhere. The rest is nopony’s business.”

“Is there nothing else I can tell the mayor? Several ponies are worried it may be something dangerous.”

“Like me? You can tell them that I said it was my personal business and that I might consider too much curiosity as a personal challenge.

“Rainbow, you’re not stupid. Take what you know about ponies in general, what you know about these incidents, and what you learned today and put it all together. You’ll figure it out and then you will never say a word unless you want a whole flock of pissed Alicorns after your ass. Use me as a club to scare the mayor into line.”

“Yes, Your Majesty. And thank you.”

“And just for your information, AJ is a Duchess too.”

“Good to know.”

We headed off to visit AJ on the farm and let her in on the news.