John Sampson's Story

“Zero four hundred, John.” Fur and feathers, the perfect combination and I love it. But it’s time to slide off the pad, hit the toilet, thump, and find the kitchen. Spike is waiting to see me before he pours the tea.

“Thank you, Spike. Would you believe that this tea is even better from a pony point of view than human?”

We are a small band this morning. Cadance and Shining went back to the Crystal Empire yesterday to take care of business. They will be back late today to spend the night with us in preparation for the Celebration. AJ will come in on the afternoon train for the same reason and I’m looking forward to showing off for her.

Twilight comes in and up to me, cheek rubbing and lipping my ear.

“Mare, don’t start anything you don’t have a day to finish.”

“Twilight giggled, “It’ll be your fault for strutting around like the hottest stallion in Equestria. But instead, let’s eat breakfast here and then we have a small project to assist your education.”

“You’re trying to torment me with choices, aren’t you? Spike, small fruit, lots of small fruit.”

I wipe out a large bowl of fruit then Twilight leads me up the stairs to our ‘special storage’ room.

“This part of the Castle is very well protected from invasion or surveillance. With just a little more shielding I can make any magic within this area hidden. You can go anywhere on this floor to about halfway up or down the stairway to the next floor. Give me a few minutes then we can test it.”

Her horn lights up and a net of purple-ish lines began to weave around the room and sink into the walls, ceiling, and floor. Twilight’s concentration increases and another net of lines expands into the walls.

“It’s done. The tricky part isn’t hiding the room, it’s doing so it looks like an empty room from the outside instead of screaming ‘something hidden here’ like that room in the bank. Put on the horn and let me go down a floor and see what it looks like.”

I do and I fumble with the AR a enough to convince myself that I could fire it with magic if I had to.

Twilight is back, “About halfway down the stairs you just disappear. It works. You can practice all you want on this floor but remember to lose the horn before you leave this floor.”

“Thank you, Twilight. This is ideal. All I have to remember is to not try too hard and bump my head.”

“John, if you can bend your knees and not fall, you’re done. And I think it’s interesting that your magic is the same color as your spots.”

Alright. Time for business. Start with the obvious. I hug myself and lift. Nothing happens.

An hour later it’s time for a break. Frustration and magic is a risky mix. Switching to my inner pony, I head back down the stairs to find everypony else gone. I need something to stir my mind. Oh yeh. I’m standing in the middle of a world class magic library. Use it, dummy. I change to human to make handling the books practical and dig in. By lunch time I know a lot of really useful things, theoretically. None of it is exactly what I want but I do have some new things to try.

But first, I need food. I put on the cammies and head to the cafeteria for fish and potatoes. Food in hand, I look around for a table. There’s my little filly, Sweet Butter sitting at a table all by herself and a bunch of her ‘friends’ together at a table nearby. This bears investigation. As I near, she is obviously unhappy about something and largely oblivious to the world around her.

So I ask, “May I sit here?”

She looks up and shoots out of her seat, “Of course you can have this table, Your Majesty.”

“I don’t want the table. I want to sit next to you, Sweet Butter. And you see what I’m wearing? Same as the gym. So I’m ‘John’, same as the gym.”

“Oh. . . But Your Majesty, how could I . . .”

“Listen, my friend Sweet Butter, I spend my days worrying about bankers that want to rob Celestia blind, assassins sent to kill me, and hundreds of small arguments between normal ponies with just a little too much pride or stubbornness to settle it on their own. That’s a lot for a farm colt that grew up and got tossed into the Royal Herd with little warning or planning. So I like to put my problems aside for a short time when I can. Will you help me do that?”

“Of course . . . John. Is Royal life really like that?”

“Yes it is, and more. Somepony has to do the many things that keep everypony happy and secure. Look at Celestia. She has to raise and lower the sun right on time every single day without fail. And has been for more than a thousand years. Did you know that crops depend on the exact timing of the sun to grow? If Celestia makes a mistake, we all go hungry. That’s why we celebrate the sun and Celestia every summer.”

“I guess you thought I was silly when I said you had an important job.”

“No, I thought that you are intuitive. You remind me a lot of somepony that I love very much. She’s like that. She always says the right thing even when there is no reason at all for it. That’s why I want to know what is making you unhappy.

“It’s just a silly thing. I told my friends what you said and they made fun of me.”

“That’s because they are jealous of you. Every single one of them dreams of becoming Royal but none of them has what it takes. You do. That’s why we are talking. My heart feels it and I know yours does too. They tricked you into speaking with me because they thought you would be like them and lose courage when you found out who I am. You fooled them. You have the courage they lack. You have the qualities I seek in my mares. Now is too soon but I will remember you.

“What should I do?”

“Exactly what I told you. Grow strong and smart. Pass these fools by and leave them in your dust. Life will take care of the rest. Do you go by ‘Sweet’ or ‘Butter’?”

“My herd call me ‘Sweet’.”

“Would you be so kind as to take my tray back to the kitchen?”

“Of course, John.”

“Thank you. Now I must go back to work but you may enjoy watching my departure.”

I get up and walk around the table towards the door, coincidentally walking right in front of the table with all the ‘friends’.

As I pass them I turn and say loudly, “Thank you for an interesting conversation, Friend Sweet.”

About half of them look like they are having seizures.

When I get back to the tower I go straight up to the hidden floor. I have a few things to try. The shield works nicely. I can even put it on the floor and stand on it. From there I can lift it and fly it around all I want. It isn’t the goal but it looks damned useful for transporting groups.

Everypony talks about the necessity of fully knowing whatever it is you want to manipulate so I look at myself. There’s a lot to see but no worse than what I’ve already seen editing my bodies. But other than swapping bodies, I don’t seem able to use magic on myself.

I’m hearing voices downstairs anyway. Time to switch back to my inner pony and go greet Cadance and Shining.

“Hello my weary travelers!” Is followed by cheek rubbing and hoofbumping.

Shining want to know, “What’s your progress?”

“I'm figuring out how to levitate. I’ve flown on a shield but that doesn’t count.”

“That’s some advance magic, John. I’d like to see it.”

“That’s easy. I have a practice room in the tower now.”

Cadance couldn’t let that pass, “Now that’s what I call pampering. Twilight must really love you, John.”

I laugh, “Well, she does. But she also got herself out of having to ferry me to remote locations to practice.”

That’s worth a general laugh and we trade gossip and grooming until Twilight, Swift, and Spike walk in.

There’s more greeting, grooming, and gossiping until, finally, AJ arrives. The gangs all here.

I’m strutting, “What do you think about the new look, AJ?”

AJ says, “I like it. Are you going to wear it to the party?”

“Unfortunately, no. It has some accessories that I want to keep secret for now so I can’t let this outside of the Herd. We can go upstairs and I can show it off if you want. Shining wants to see me show off too.”

“Let’s go.”

So I lead the troop upstairs until we pack the small ‘safe’ room. I shift to A-Pony.

Shining jumps right on me, “That’s not my horn.”

“What are you talking about, Shining? I haven’t swapped bodies with anypony else.”

“My horn has five bands. It’s been that way for a while now. Your horn has six bands.”

So I look to Twilight who is standing with Cadance giggling.

“Come on mares, give it up.”

“John, your horn grows with your age and your magic. Celestia has nine bands, Luna has eight. You’re just growing.”

Somehow I’m not completely satisfied but I’m going to treat it as a new subject to research next time they leave me alone with the library.

I demonstrate my riding shield and Shining admits it’s a tough shield even without the riding trick. Just to impress the mares, I anchor to it and turn upside down.

Back in the library I shift to human so I can groom AJ and talk at the same time. I fill her in on the exciting events and she brings me up on farm status. After a light dinner we pile in the bedroom.

“Zero four hundred, John.” Do I have to? The pile is nearly complete and oh so comfortable and secure. But today is Celebration day and I have a part to play. So slide out, toilet, thump, and tea. I’m feeling good and I need to be one of the very first on stage so I get the body and cammies.

Swift is watching and asks, “Do you want me to pack your pretty clothes and sword?”

“No, I just don’t want to chance a breakfast accident. I have to come back by here so I’ll dress here.”

The cafeteria has a fair contingent of dressed Guard including Steel. I sit down with my omelet and oatmeal next to him.

“You know that you can change or even spend the night in the tower? You might want to come inspect the secure room anyway.”

“I trust you to handle it, John.”

“There are some new weapons in there. If anything goes sideways, I can bring very high level force to bear now. I’ve got a pretty wicked shield too.”

“Now that sounds worth a trip. Hope we don’t need any of them today.”

“Me too.”

Back in the tower I got into my Celstia colored pretty uniform then buckled on my big sword.

“Swift, how about packing my Luna outfit and leave it Luna’s apartment so I can put it on right before going up to the balcony?”

“It’s packed and your small sword with it just in case.”

Celestia is bustling about in her apartment making sure everything is just so. I’m standing next to the door to the balcony, waiting.

Finally, she decides it’s time. I’m up the stairs two behind her. She goes out onto the balcony and I go one step out and two right. Assume parade rest. I’m watching with new eyes. Could I do that some day? She’s done and smiling for the crowd. Celestia whirls and heads down the stairs with me right behind her. In the apartment she slows down.

Celestia grins at me, “Ready to face the crowd?”

“Oh course. FYI, I left you a present in your favorite deserted courtyard. And, if anything goes cross ways, I have a small collection of large weapons in my Unicorn shape.”

“I heard you were working on levitation.”

“I have a good idea that I haven’t tried yet but I can fly without it if needed. I’ve been spending time in Twilight’s library.”

“You may find some of our visitors extra interesting. We have some Minotaurs here today. One or two of them might even be bigger than you.”

“Just don’t let Fred see them.”

“Why not?”

“Fred was born to herd and control bovines. And he really enjoys it.”

“What about you?”

“I can’t say until I meet them. It won’t change what I do anyway, just how much I enjoy it.”

“Let’s go and bask in the admiration of our ponies.”

“I’d be happier if they admired in smaller groups.”

“Get used to it, John. You have many years of it ahead of you.”

And we step out into the main courtyard side by side to acknowledge the salutes and bows of our grateful ponies. Strolling around side by side with a goddess is quite an experience. So many ponies, all eager to pay homage. Interestingly, I seem to be drawing as many as she is. I’m certainly a heavy favorite with the military contingent. After a while we arrive at the dais and Celestia settles down.

“Walk around, John. I want to see if you are as popular on your own.”

I do and I am possibly more popular by myself. The biggest difference is that I have parents bringing their foals to meet me. Celestia is going to love this, I’m a role model.

Twilight and AJ are coming so I angle to meet them.

“Hello, my lovely mares. Are we enjoying this bright sunshiny day?”

Twilight sticks her tongue out at me and AJ giggles.

“Decorum, my darlings, decorum. We are here to be an example.”

Twilight isn’t buying it, “Oh fooie. This is a Celebration.”

“I tell you what, why don’t you stay here with me for a few minutes and do the foal kissing?”

“Do what?”

“Half of Equestria wants their offspring to see me as an example. Celestia is sitting over there in comfort enjoying the show.”

AJ understands. I get a hug for that.

AJ says, “Relief is on the way. Spike and Swift are supervising lunch. Trays will be coming shortly.”

“Now there’s a mare with priorities.”

I manage to get a seat between Celestia and Twilight while we eat but then I’m back ‘on patrol’. I keep seeing Minotaurs in the distance and I know they see me because we both stick up out of the crowd like flagpoles but I can’t seem to get near one.

It is mid afternoon and the crowd has thinned. Time for a break. I get comfortable next to Celestia.

“Did you figure it out?”

“Yes and no. You draw a different crowd. I can’t figure out why.”

“It’s the Earth pony effect. After thousands of years we finally have an Earth pony that made it to the top. ‘Look here little Suzy and Bobby. If you work hard you can be just like him.’”

“But that’s always been true.”

“Celestia, for a pony so damned smart, you have some very deep blind spots. They don’t see time the way you do. For your average pony, fifty years is eternity because they won’t be active fifty years from now even if they are alive. They can feel their body age, see each hair turn gray.”

“So you are young like them?”

“That’s a part of it but not the biggest. You are the ultimate mare, dam to all ponies. How can anypony aspire to be their own dam?”

“And that’s what you’ve been up to with these informal mornings. You are everypony that made good.”

“I’d rather be their friend than their god. Perhaps you’ve noticed by now that deity is a lonely position.”

“I’ve got you. John.”

“Do you? You have a very powerful weapon and a very dangerous toy but do you have the ‘me’ that ultimately controls them?”

“John you have said yourself that I’m the mare you need to head your herd. Our interests coincide on all levels. You know it because you’ve given me your oath twice now. And I’m offering you immortal godhood. What more could you possibly want?”

“Your heart.”

“I still don’t understand, John. I’ve given you everything that I have to give. Doesn’t that prove anything?”

“It does, Celestia, but what’s most important isn’t things or powers, it’s the connection. As spectacular a collection of gifts as these are, you never asked if I wanted them. You assumed that I would want the same things that you want and started dumping them on me.”

“You don’t want to be Royal?”

“Ah, Celestia. You chose right every single time. I don’t see how it could be any other way. But it helps a lot if I feel like I’ve got some say in my own life. You want an equal. But first you have to learn how to be equal. You have to share, not give.”

“You have to forgive me a few old habits. You know what I’m trying to do.”

“And I’m trying to find ways to help you right now. I’ve got a thought question for you. You know that I’ve got a herd of the absolute top mares in Equestria. Which mare do you think two different stallions have announced a desire to challenge me for?”

“It can’t be me or Luna. If another stallion capable of taking either of us existed, you wouldn’t be here. They would have to challenge Shining Armor first if they wanted Cadance. So do they want wealth or power, Applejack or Twilight? Do I get a hint?”

“Your hint is, one of the stallions is Shining. And thank you for finally admitting that you are behind my abduction.”

“Shining wants Applejack? He doesn’t strike me as the money chasing kind so what kind of back story have I missed?”

“He doesn’t want AJ. He wants Swift. So does Steel Will. So will you, if you ever come out of your shell and join the rest of the world. Swift has done as much as you have to make the Royal Stallion.”

“You are going to have to explain that one.”

Right now she is carrying my small sword just in case I might need it. She left my Luna colored dress in Luna’s apartment where I can change when the Celebration changes. Remember how one of the lunch trays had cheese and crackers and small fruits all just the way I like them? She has the map and directions whenever I travel. She makes the tea the way I like it. I look good because she makes sure of it.”

“How is a very good aide more desirable than an Alicorn? Twilight could do all of that with a twitch of her horn.”

“The ability is the icing on the cake. What Swift has is commitment. Her devotion to me is total. We are a single individual with two locations.”

“John, I thought you abhorred the subservient.”

“It’s not subservient when I’m equally committed to her. She stepped out with Shining last spring and has my blessing to do it again any time she wishes because I want her to do things just for her. But her primary goal in life is to make me the best possible stallion so I can make Equestria the best possible world.”

“I can see how that would be desirable. I can see some of that in you, John.”

“Of course you can. It’s one of the components of love. Luna is becoming good at it and it is making her much happier. By the way, don’t look for me tomorrow. I’m going to spend the day sharing with Luna. You might want to try it sometime soon. You and I might even kick around plans for next spring.”

“If it’s so good, why don’t you spend tomorrow with me instead of Luna?”

“Because I said I was spending it with Luna. Tomorrow night after moon rise is open, though.”

“Would we talk like we are talking now?”

“Some. And groom. Maybe sleep a little. Maybe whatever else you want. Being private opens up possibilities. We might even get into horn play.”

“Are you really that strong, John?”

“I was stronger than Cadance last spring and I have grown since then. I’ve added a band to my horn since last you saw it.”

Holy shit. I’m getting wing action from Celestia.

“What about Luna and Twilight?”

“Neither of them made a contest out of it though Luna and I did exercise each other.”

Yep, the wing is growing.

“Celestia, the ponies are watching. If you want to give them a show, I will but it’s probably more appropriate to the Spring Fling.”

“How much show?”

“About this much,”and I lean over and take her head in my hands slowly caressing both cheeks then I lean a little more and kiss her as thoroughly as I know how. As we hold the kiss I can feel her magic exploring my body. I’m glad I’m wearing pants.

We break the kiss and Celestia tucks her wings back into place. I notice a noise. Looking up for the source, I discover that not only do we have an audience, they are applauding.

Celestia looks a little bemused, “I wonder who they are applauding, you or me?”

“They are applauding us. They spend their entire life seeking and enjoying companionship in it’s various forms. They are born to herd. A solitary existence is painful to them. They want you to be happy.”