John Sampson's Story

“That pony is not sane.”

Celestia looks at me, “What gives you that impression?”

“I don’t know. Maybe it’s something about abducting large numbers of mares and holding them against their will for breeding?”

“John, it hasn’t been that long ago that it was normal for ponies to act like that.”

“Celestia, it hasn’t been that long ago that humans and equines lived in the jungle and got eaten more often than not. Remember my ‘The noble herds just keep doing the same thing that grandpa did . . .’? This is it. This is how you trash a bloodline. It works in nature because ponies are being eaten as fast as foaled so the weak and stupid get removed. In a civilized setting it perpetuates and spreads the bad traits more than the good.”

Civil Hassler interrupts, “I’m convinced. There is no doubt at all that you two are banded.”

“Councilor, you need to come spend the night with us. I have concerns for your safety as long as your ‘client’ is loose. You can choose from Ambassador’s Row, Twilight’s Tower, my unused Guard apartment, or several private bedrooms. I will warn you, Alicorns don’t sleep much. Revile is zero four hundred hours.”

“Your Majesty, are you inviting me to come spend the night with the Royal Herd?”

“Within limitations, yes. You need to be in the Palace. The rest is optional and subject to the approval of other occupants of the named rooms. Luna will be up all night anyway and Night Court can be quite entertaining.”

“I wouldn’t miss this for the world.”

“Good. I like the idea of having you around when he sends for me. Are you up for the whole tour? We can walk back to the Palace. You’ll get a Royal view of Canterlot.”

“Is that safe, Your Majesty?”

“Haven’t you noticed how many of the crowd are single, athletic, and military age? Watch this.”

I salute a shadow on the roof across the street and the shadow returns salute.

“The Nightguard are all around us too. He got Swift right out from under our noses. There is no chance it will happen again.”

Celestia interjects, “I’m ‘porting home. Have a fun time with your ponies, John.”

I reply, “Go ahead. Now we can talk about you.”

It’s not that far but it’s slow. Ponies are coming out to say hello and bringing their foals. My new body isn’t making a bit of difference. Civil is amazed and amused. Finally we make the Palace gate and are bowed in.

“That was quite an experience, Your Majesty. It was not even a little bit like what I hear from my clients.”

I smile, “I know. That’s why I wanted you to see it for yourself. Have you decided where you want to sleep?”

“I hear Ambassador’s Row is nice.”

“I would appreciate it if you would join me for breakfast in the morning. My routine is breakfast in the Guard cafeteria at zero five hundred. I could pick you up at zero four forty five. You will have to instruct the staff how you like to be awakened.”

“Will it be as instructional as our walk?”

“More.”

“Then I will be pleased to accept your invitation.”

I escort her to my old favorite suite and send the staff to her on my way out, advising them that I would be back at zero four forty five. From there I head to Celestia’s private quarters.

“Hello, John. Not going to bring your new marefriend home with you?”

“Be nice, Celestia. I opened her eyes to some things she never suspected tonight. I’m going to do it again in the morning. Wanna bet she has some useful information about her soon to be ex client?”

“I never doubted that, I just expected you to pump her for it.”

“And you want me to bring her here so you can watch?”

“Have you considered that I might want to help? Who else could possibly know more about what makes a mare happy?”

I am standing next to her now so I shift to human and dig my fingers in to the soft spots on both sides of her withers.

“Wa. . . Wa. . . AH.”

I work my way up on her neck and back down a little until I find the spot. She begins to wave her head from side to side so I dig a little deeper. Celestia starts humming and swaying. After almost a minute her front legs fold followed shortly by her hind legs. I fold my legs and sit next to her leaning across her body. I work up her neck with a deep massage and she slowly stretches out and lays her head down. In a few minutes she is asleep. I scoot back a little and shift to Alicorn. Snuggling against her I extend my wing over her and rest my chin lightly in front of her withers. There is something primal in this. She is my mare and I am guarding her as she sleeps.

After a while she wakes and rubs her head against my neck and chest. I pull her tighter with my wing and rub her neck with my cheek.

“Thank you, John. It’s been so very long. . .”

“I know. Maybe next time we’ll make it to the bed.”

“You could have carried me.”

“I thought about it but it was the first time I’ve ever seen you relax and I didn’t want to chance losing that. And now you know my dark secret of bewildering and bewitching mares.”

“I must say that it’s an effective secret.”

“And I get the wing compulsion now.”

“Wing compulsion?”

“Every winged pony that I’ve met has had a compulsion to wrap their wings around me, particularly when we sleep. I had that compulsion to protect you while you slept.”

She swings her head around and kisses me deep and hard.

Pulling back, “If you’ll give me a little room, I can get my wing out.”

So I lean a little and she gets her wing across my back as we pull each other tight, kissing and nuzzling. She angles her head a little and our horns touch. I’m falling into a vast gulf of alone. So much loneliness that it crowds the world. But there is a spark. A tiny point of hope. I cherish the hope. Feed it. Nurture it. I bring it home with me and show it my friends, tell it there’s a better way. And it grows. That’s enough for now. I promise to visit many more times and we separate.

I can’t tell if Celestia is asleep or awake. She is relaxed and happy so I don’t disturb her. We sit there for some fluid time just being together then a Guardpony comes in.

“Zero four hundred, Your Majesties. There is tea in the kitchen.” and he bows.

I nod, “Thank you.” and consider how to separate myself from Celestia. I decide and slide straight forward lifting my wing over Celestia and sliding out from under her’s.

“Morning already, John?”

“Yes, tea is in the kitchen and I’m headed for the toilet.”

“My clock says I have a couple of hours but I’ll join you.”

This is interesting. The urge to belly slap has been lost somewhere in the transition. I guess being able to fully clean myself has eliminated the need. The world looks clearer and brighter too.

In the kitchen, “You should get me in on the secret of your special clock. I’ll need it some day.”

“It’s a very simple spell We just need to all be at the same place in the same spell and everything else will take care of itself.”

“I’ve got a bigger question for you, what are we going to do with twenty eight confused mares. They can’t be a significant number with herds to go home to or we’d be hearing the outcry across the land. Where can we put them all? Some could go to AJ’s farm and a bunch could join the Guard but there will be some leftovers. Offer them jobs as Castle staff?”

“John, they’ll be your mares and your responsibility. You’ll have to set them up with a lead mare or mares and incorporate them into your herd. You could have made it an honor challenge but doubt he’d go for that. You made it a stallion challenge, ‘my mares for your mares’ so this is how it works. We’ve got the resources no matter what you decide to do with them.”

“Dammit! I’m not Blueblood. I’m not going to spawn. I may select some for broodmare duties but I’m not randomly scattering seed and I’m damned sure not forcing anypony.”

“You can set them up in Blueblood’s compound or any of his many holdings. You’ll be the new stallion of his herd and all that was his will be yours. If he wins, he will move into the Castle and I will have to find a way to eliminate him and start all over looking for a fit stallion. But I’m not real worried about that. I don’t know that a five band unicorn has ever challenged much less bested a nine band Alicorn.”

“Nine band?”

“I think you gained one last night while you were being my protector. I certainly felt the strength when we joined horns.”

“We’re going to have to work more on this later. Right now I have a breakfast date.”

I go out the front door, down the hall, around the corner, and in the familiar suite door.

“Hello, Civil Hassler”

“Your Majesty, I’m almost ready.”

“The rules for breakfast are simple. I’m ‘John’. No station or rank.”

“That applies to everypony?”

“Yep and it’s not just address. We can compete and joke and most of all, be friends.”

“When does this end?”

“After PT or, if I don’t take it, whenever I get to what comes after breakfast.”

We start up the hall, talking as we walk.

I said, “That suite is special to Swift and me. We had our honeymoon there. I was about ten percent pony and completely clueless about magic. When I got things figured out and we decided it was safe to consummate, I forgot to close the balcony door and we entertained most of the Castle for two days. It got us a really nice fully soundproofed apartment in the Guard sector.”

Civil is looking incredulous, “Two days?”

“It’s a human thing. Humans aren’t prey animals so sex can go on and on.”

“Wait a minute. What do you mean ‘humans aren’t prey animals’?”

“That’s where humans and equines diverged. When they left the jungle, equines developed speed as a defense against predators, humans developed technology and fought back. Now humans are what predators fear and equines have allied themselves with humans.

As we walk through the door there is a little bump in the sound level but it passed quickly.

“They’re getting used to me showing up with guests.”

We line up at the order window I get a nine egg omelet and two bowls of oatmeal with fruit.

“I’m cutting back.”

She gets a fruit bowl. I hitch up the tray train and we go looking for a table. I spot Sweet getting up from a table with friends and moving to an empty table while waving at me. This should be fun.

“I see a friend inviting us over. You should meet her.”

We make our way to Sweet’s table and I park the trays.

“Sweet Butter, this is Civil Hassler. She’s an attorney. Civil, this is Sweet. She’s one of my newer friends.”

Sweet is eager, “They did it again, John. They said you wouldn’t talk to me any more now that you ascended.”

“I think we’ve beat that one already. You might tell them that ascension is a process and takes a long time. It just doesn’t show until near the end.”

Civil is curious, “I didn’t know that John. But now that you mention it, you’re bigger than you were yesterday.”

I had to laugh, “Where do you think all this food is going? But more than that, ascension isn’t a gift. It’s earned with strength and knowledge. Without a lot of both it simply can’t happen.”

Having two mares at the table meant that I didn’t have to do much talking. All in all, they seemed to hit it off quite well.

As we are leaving, I stop at the door and salute the room. They all bow then Civil and I resume our hall conversation.

“And just like that it’s ‘Your Majesty’ again?”

“That’s it. Having regular contact with normal ponies like Sweet is how I keep my sanity in a world going completely crazy around me. I don’t want to grow up to be a spectacular deity that demands absolute obedience. I’ve seen far to much of the pain that causes.”

“Your Majesty, I’m impressed with how kind you are with a strange filly. I wondered if you are just grooming her for spring but I doubt that now. Most stallions have little use for another stallion’s offspring until they reach breeding age.”

“If it’s any consolation, you aren’t entirely wrong. I have told her that if she works and studies hard, I will come for her some future spring.”

“That just impresses me even more, Your Majesty. If you keep this up I may really want to join your herd.”

“Good, I’m about to have a particular position open. I’m going to need somepony to run all of Blueblood’s holdings and organize twenty eight confused mares.”

“Are you serious? . . .Your Majesty.”

“There are a lot of things left to consider but you are the obvious front runner for the job. You already know a lot about his organization and I expect the transition to be sudden.”

“You know he has partners?”

“I know he is the face of a five herd coalition and I do not expect to be loved by the other herds. Do you think any of them would be willing to follow my lead?”

“You are very right about not being loved. Most of them refer to you as the alien monster that stole their money.”

“If you’d like to go to my office I can show you on their own paper how they were robbing Celestia of millions of bits.”

“I was one of the writers of that grant so I already know. I was told Celestia didn’t care. It was a noble perk.”

“You’ve heard Celestia’s opinion for yourself. And you can assume that mine is much the same except that I understand all the jargon and dodges. That’s part of my talent. And you can also assume that I will end any other schemes.”

“If you know Blueblood is just a figurehead then know they won’t cooperate.”

“Even if I can make them a hundred times more bits legally? Is their xenophobia really that bad?”

“After learning how little is exaggeration with you, I believe you but convincing them won’t be as easy.”

“Could you? I’d give a good manager an interest, maybe more if she asked.”

“How could this be possible? It’s not that I doubt you, I want to know what I’d be getting myself into.”

“I would need a great deal more trust to share the details. You have my absolute word that the reason I keep secrets is to protect Equestria first and my herd second.”

There was another of those small ripples in the world.

“Was that what I think it was? Your Majesty”

“Yes, I’m afraid I can cast great spells by accident still. I’m working on complete mastery of my magic. But it only happens with things that I feel strongly about and would hold to anyway.”

“It served its purpose. I’ll help you any way I can.”

“The one thing that I’m worried about today is why a mediocre Unicorn would even imagine that he could take me in a fight. He’s watched me wipe out four assassins in three seconds and smoke five Unicorn wizards in under a minute all as an Earth pony. How could anypony be insane enough to see me ascended on top of that and dream of taking me? Somepony isn’t stupid. They’ve stolen some well guarded things out of the Castle and taken Swift. The mine trap would have killed me if hadn’t been already more than half ascended. Something or somepony is missing from my understanding.”

“I’ve been wondering the same things. I know Blueblood gets orders but I don’t have the first clue where from or how.”

“So do you think they’ll sacrifice him or back him?”

“Before you showed up at the restaurant I would have been certain that they would use every dirty trick imaginable to kill you even if Blueblood got killed too. Some of them are hardcore Celestia worshipers. Seeing you with her and like her may change some minds or it may break them. I don’t know.”

“There is a way to get an idea. If they are going to sacrifice Blueblood, he won’t own near as much today as he did yesterday. You know some of his holdings. Check the ownership of some of the bigger ones. I can provide you with an escort if you think it appropriate.”

“What kind of escort, Your Majesty?”

“The range is a platoon of Guard in armor to an anonymous Earth pony. My suggestion would be to see Colonel Steel and get AJ plus whoever he favors.”

“Who is AJ?”

“Short for Applejack. Bandmare to Swift and Bearer of the Element of Honesty. Also a very strong farm mare. I need to see Steel anyway to bring him up on the challenge.”

We double back and catch Steel in his office.

I do the quick introduction, “Colonel Steel Will, Councilor Civil Hassler. We need to get Civil in touch with sources in town. I’ve got a stallion challenge coming up with Blueblood and I can’t make sense of why he would agree to it. The thought is to see if his holdings are being transferred out of his name. That would indicate that somepony intends to sacrifice him. I thought that AJ might make a good escort also. Ideas?”

Steel replies, “I’m with you. He can’t be stupid enough to believe he beat you in a straight up match so he’s up to something. And the only other option is that his coalition is planning to dump him because he’s nuts and you would end up with a bunch of mares and nothing else.”

I say, “Getting the mares out of his grasp is worth the fight. Getting Swift out is worth a bunch of fights.”

The ‘plan’ becomes Civil and AJ as common mares visiting a few public places and having private conversations. AJ will have her normal Guard ‘discrete cover’. Civil can teleport both out and will if anything looks a little strange. I’ve got to tell the rest of the mares that I’ve put them up for prizes.

“Hello my good Friend Luna.”

“Hello Stallion John. I hear thou hast stallion challenge with Prince Blueblood over Friend Swift.”

“Well, not exactly. After he bragged of holding twenty eight more mares with Swift I got kinda upset and bet the house.”

“Friend John, doth ‘bet the house’ mean that which it sounds like it means?”

“If you think it means I made it a whole herd challenge, yes.”

“Then this be a fight to the death.”

“I was expecting that anyway. And all of you will have to be there.”

“I wouldst not have it otherwise.”

“I think Celestia is a little upset at me. She told me that the twenty eight would be my problem and my responsibility when I asked for suggestions on where to put them.”

“Oh John. Celestia will be quite furious. You just put the Alicorn Princess of Equestria up for challenge like a common mare.”

“It was the only bait I could come up with that I could be sure would bring him and all of his captives out of hiding. My only worry is how he could imagine he could win.”

“Could he be satisfied with the fame of being the first Prince to challenge for a goddess?”

“He doesn’t strike me as the kind that goes for posthumous honors.”

“He could forfeit and retain the ‘honor’. Thou ‘dangerous alien’ threat might be brought out as an excuse.”

“I’d still get the mares and his property, wouldn’t I?”

“Such as could be found and proven his.”

“I explicitly stated in the challenge that the mares be present. That’s enough finding to be worth the trip.”

“Hast thou chosen thy seconds?”

“I am thinking Steel and Shining with most of the Guard standing by. How many Guard officers could I get away with bringing besides them?”

“I be unsure if the Guard can have cause.”

“Assume Nightguard Captain Dark Sword represents cause and a representative of the Guard would need to pursue a secondary offense if I fail.”

“That might be a Friend of Dark Sword, his seconds, and several observers.”

“Thank you Friend Luna. You never fail me. Now I have to arrange things with Twilight.”

“What could you possibly be thinking? Could you possibly be thinking? You put the Royal Herd up for challenge like a bunch of common mares!” Twilight is excited.

Shining had quickly left the room when I came in. Cadance is just sitting there smiling. She’s the one I’m worried about now.

“Actually, Twilight, he was more interested in Royal Privilege than any of you.”

Twilght’s horn is surrounded by a dark cloud with small lightning flashes. I throw up a ‘soft’ shield just as a bolt shoots directly at my head. After six more bolts Twilight begins to slow down a little.

“Twilight, Darling, will you please calm down a little.”

“Don’t you dare . . . . .”

And several more bolts follow.

“Twilight, It was the promise of Royal Privilege that got him to bring Swift and the rest of the mares out of hiding. I could only make that promise as part of a whole herd challenge.”

Twilight’s storm cloud is dissipating a little but I’m not ready to drop the shield yet.

“Did you have to treat all of the Princesses of Equestria like common mares?”

“Yes, Darling, I did. It’s how he thinks of all mares and I had to find a a way to tempt him on his terms. He would have just laughed and teleported out otherwise. I sorry if it hurt your feelings but I’m looking at saving Swift and twenty eight other mares from much worse.”

“Twenty eight?”

“Really a lot more than that. He’s planning to double that number by spring. I’m planning he isn’t here for spring.”

“Oh. Why didn’t you tell us you were going to do something like this?”

“Because I didn’t know until I was across a table from him and got to see the nature of his insanity for myself. Consider this your final lesson on living with stallions. He’s threatened Swift and killed a Guard member. He is going to die and everything else has to bend to that end. Help me or get out of my way.”

“Of course I’ll help you, John. I just want you to understand how I feel about being property.”

“Twilight, I’m betting my life to rescue a bunch of mares including one I love from being property. Have you thought of that?”

I drop the shield and Shining peeks in through the door, “Is it safe now?”

“I’m not sure. Cadance hasn’t spoken yet.”

Cadance calmly said, “I trust you, John. And I will wait until it is over to kill you if you screw up.”

“Uh, Cadance, if I screw up I’ll be dead already. Just kill Blueblood for me.”

Shining comes on in now.

“Shining, I want you for one of my seconds. Your best shot at him will be right after I weaken him so you need to be there just in case.”

Shining replies, “I never expected anything different. By the way, what was that shield you were using? Those bolts should have bounced all over this room.”

“I rewrote it to use inelastic collisions and absorb the energy of whatever hits it. You have to be damned sure to never use it against somepony stronger than you but it does have its uses.”

“I’ll get with you later on the details.”

“I also want to have a Guard contingent there to represent a second cause for Dark Sword’s death. I’m going to stack the deck every way I can think off.”

Shining smiles, “I like that idea. There’s no such thing as too much backup.”

“Twilight, can you please handle AJ’s transportation? I have no idea where we are going but it will be somewhere open country.”

“Of course I can.”

“Thank you, Twilight. Now I have to go back to Steel and get some more things arranged.”

It’s being a very busy day but a useful one. Steel loves the ‘second cause’ idea and has some officers in mind. All I have left to do is update Celestia and wait.