A Truck's Bed Isn't Meant For That

by Typewrittensoul

Rating: mature
Tags: Applejack, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Other, Comedy, Slice of Life, Sex
Length: 2374

Hanky panky in Applejack's truck.

[Lime] Applejack loves her truck. So when she discovers somepony messing with it one night, she has to...investigate...yeah, that's the term...

Published 2012-10-03 14:00:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-10-03 14:00:01 UTC

Chapter 1

After hours of dealing with the west field of the family orchard, Applejack was finally done for the day.

It was beyond her exactly what had allowed her to keep working for so long without taking a break, an hour longer than usual, but the burst of energy had paid off and the mare's chest swelled with pride that she was finished pruning and hedging the trees a whole day early.

Then again, she had some ideas about the recently discovered vigor for her already favorite pastime—besides hanging with her best pony friends forever, that is. The simplest way to put it was that she found extra time in her day; less of it was sucked up from transporting bushels of apples into town for sale. Not to mention the fact that Big Mac, by way of this change in the Apple family's life, was now able to stay behind to tend to the fields rather than to yoke the cart of produce into Ponyville and still have newly found free time. So much sometimes that Applejack had found her brother once or twice sitting on his behind contemplating what exactly he could do if not heading into or from town after a long day of selling apples. In recent days he would make his way into town to do who knew what.

All of this was made possible by a peculiar invention by a certain pair of unicorn salesponies, the brothers Flim and Flam. As it so happened, news had spread quickly throughout all of Equestria of their spectacularly disastrous demonstration at the Apple Family farm many weeks ago.

So when the two of them showed up at their front door one day, dirtied, haggard, and desperate to find a place where they could rest without being chased out by angry ponies, Applejack couldn't find it in her heart to kick them out despite the whole list of reasons she could have, and offered them a most undeserved hospitality—by letting them stay in the hog house for a few nights to teach them a lesson. Though eventually they were allowed to stay in the guest rooms.

Despite the treatment, the brothers were humbled by her nonetheless, then told the Apples their sad, pathetic tale with plain spoken words of the hardship they suffered since that fateful challenge. Week after week Flim and Flam had to sell pieces of their Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 6000 for scrap to scrounge up a living, since nopony was willing to give them a chance at hiring them.

It was then that the brothers made an interesting proposal.

"We're not exactly cut out for hard labor, you see. We're inventors by nature," Flim began to explain.

"And entrepreneurs at heart!" The mustached Flam added.

"Yeah, huh." Applejack nodded her head in a bored manner.

What they asked for was an investment in their newest contraption, something that they called a "truck."

The truck would borrow much of the Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 6000's design, comprising the many gears and gizmos that allowed for motorized transportation but with many drastic differences. First of all, the purpose of the truck was purely for transport and not meant to replace the superior technique that allowed for quality that Applejack and her brood had displayed but to supplement their efforts by cutting the time it took to bring apples and other apple-related food products for sale in Ponyville. Most obvious however was the actual mechanics of the engine.

It drew a great deal of inspiration from the steam locomotive that crossed all throughout Equestria but it did not burn coal to heat up water that produced steam to drive the gears and cranks to movement. Nor did it require magic, as their own invention had, so earth ponies like the Apples were able to use it. All the truck needed was some good old fashioned horsepower to turn the crank to start the engine and it would run as long as there was a new concoction called "gasoline", made by milling corn and fermenting it then distilling the resulting "ethanol" to be combusted and drive the motor. While Applejack couldn't completely follow the unicorns' explanations, Big Mac seemed to understand the gist of it. The gasoline, unsurprisingly, which only the FlimFlam brothers just happened to know the recipe to make it, was happily provided to them without extra cost as per the terms of their agreement.

Which after much haggling, settled to be a modest 70-30 cut for the Apples and the FlimFlam brothers, respectfully. And for the meager concession of commissioning a bonus for finding new customers for the apples grown on their orchard and widening the market base, was the Apple brood given the gas for the truck at the low low price of free.

After the initial cost of set up and building materials for the truck and ingredients needed for gasoline, and Flim and Flam made good on their part of the agreement to solicit Apple family goods, Applejack was in awe that for the first time in a while they weren't strapped for cash to make all the necessary repairs or upkeep to the farm. It was all thanks to that contraption and the brothers that profits had gone up and the farm was able to expand beyond Ponyville.

In addition Applebloom seemed to take a bit of interest in the truck, always bothering Flim and Flam when they came by the farm every week—asking for the bushels of apples for delivery outside of Ponyville, splitting the profits, checking on the truck for a nominal fee for parts and labor, and refilling the tank of gasoline kept at the side of the barn.

It was a mere two months before they began to see a gain in their investment, as much of a stretch it was to trust the brothers to make the deal in the first place. But nonetheless, Applejack found, making peace with the two fast-talking ponies ended up benefiting everypony involved, which she was glad for.

By the time she was in sight of the farm house, the orange sky had turned a dark blue and dinner was bound to be ready and waiting on the kitchen table to be gobbled up. Her mouth watered at the thought of one of Granny's special home cooking exciting her taste buds then dropping into her gullet, leaving her satisfied after a good day's work. Hopefully Applebloom, Big Mac and Granny Smith weren't all waiting on her to arrive before chowing down. Especially since just as she was close enough to open the door to the house, the sound of giggling caught her ear.

Her ears perked up in curiosity and turned this way and that to find the source. Her instincts called her over toward the barn where the truck was kept and she snuck her way in with the hopes of getting the jump on the varmints that didn't have the decency to know not to trespass onto a pony's property.

In the shadowy interior of the barn Applejack spotted her pink-colored contraption leaning to and fro as though it had an itch it needed to scratch. The springs set near each of the truck's wheels squeaked from the jostling as the truck itself continued to rock back and forth like an unstable boat on the water.

"What's goin' on here?" She whispered to herself as she rationalized easily enough that the truck couldn't have come to life. As the apple farmer drew closer, a fragrant hint of spiciness hit her nose and sent shivers down her spine. Her mouth watered for a different reason as she spied a set of writhing silhouettes in the darkness.

Along with giggles and light squeals were soft pleasured moans and in the amidst of that was the distinctively tell-tale sound of heavy breathing. Of sharp intakes of breath and shuddered gasps and pleased sighs.

The silhouettes, so close to one another that their horns clacked when they embraced again and again, made an off-beat percussion that contrasted the constant creaking rhythm of the truck and her shuddering moans and his determined grunts.

She had found herself watching all of this with her mouth slightly parted, hiding from behind a wooden support. Her own breathing strained as the heavy musk filtered into her nose, making her feel lightheaded. Her eyes now adjusted to the scant light that filtered into the barn from the windowed partition close to the ceiling.

Slowly, ever so slowly, Applejack's hoof trailed down her stomach toward the growing ache between her haunches. She moved at an almost torturous crawl that left her burning in anticipation and perspiring more and more. Ever careful as though the slightest break in focus would alert the pair to her presence.

Her stomach quivered at the touch of her hoof and immediately she was filled with the heat of desire, rather than relieved of the throbbing that made her heart race. She stroked and flicked, rubbed and pressed in time with their movements, drawn fully into their intimate grinding and shaking that started to quicken in pace.

Soon Applejack could feel her tension rising to its peak. Closer and closer...so...close...

Then, the smaller unicorn arched her back and proclaimed, "AH! BIG BROTHER~!

"WHOA NELLY!" Applejack yelled out and pulled her guilty forehoof away as though she had just been caught shuffling through the cookie jar by Granny Smith, earning panicked screams from the couple as they scrambled off of each other.

Dismay plastered on her face and disgust toward herself etched onto her mind, Applejack rushed to the side of her truck and screamed over the raging storm of regret in her heart. Immediately recognizing the voice that had just shouted in rapture, shame blew away the dense cloud of desire that had set in Applejack's mind. "Twi, I know you n' yer brother are close, but-" Screaming out an impassioned plea, the earth pony stumbled at the strange sight of her friend and her brother, unable to place her hoof on exactly what was wrong with the picture in front of her.

After seeing up close the other mare managing to dislodge herself from straddling the white stallion, Applejack gasped then blinked then stared in puzzlement at her suggestively sweaty librarian friend. From out of her back a set of wings shot up in surprise and now that the freckle-faced mare had a closer look, the color of the purple unicorn's coat looked decidedly more painted-on than Applejack last remembered. "Uh..." She said while gawking between the two ponies reciprocating a blank stare toward her.

The winged Twilight then smiled and nervously stammered out, "Applejack! H-hi!

"P-princess Cadance?"

"Th-that's me! Heh...heheh..."

"Um..." Applejack paused, frazzled for so many reasons that her thoughts were in a slight jumble, "as much as I'm obliged ta welcome ya fer visitin' my farm, princess...what in tha heck are ya doin' wit' Shining Armor?"

The alicorn's response was smoothly premeditated as it was quick to be said. "Oh, you know how it is, Applejack...we're just a young couple on their honeymoon!"

The farmer narrowed her eyes, pursed her lips and raised her eyebrows as she tried to suspend her belief in order to accept this tallest of tales. Normally she'd have taken exception to coming upon such a flamboyant expression of love between an intensely passionate couple such as Shining Armor and Princess Cadance, but as hard as she might, there was just no way she could let this one go. "So lemme get this straight. Yer celebratin' yer honeymoon, months after y'all have already been married, by havin' relations while pretendin' to be yer sister-in-law...in the back of my truck?"

There was a moment of silence broken only by the creaking of metal and chirping of crickets as the two ponies caught red hoofed shifted their weight slightly from side to side. Finally, the young princess cleared her throat and desperately latched at the thought of changing the topic away from the fact that she and her husband were just caught bumping uglies.

"...th-that's what this is?" She nervously stammered out and touched her hoof against the frame of the flatbed as though she were admiring it. The echo of the tough metal against her prodding elicited a genuine curiosity in her but at the moment her interests were far from discussing engineering. "Ohhhh, you see we were just in the neighborhood when we saw this contraption and...you said it was a truck, right? And I was, um, just so curious about it that I had to get a closer look at it." Cadance gulped and shifted her eyes down at the truck for a moment, then to her husband, before thinking of something to follow up with. "I was just telling Shining that we need one of these trunks...for the Crystal Fair coming up..."

Applejack's eyes only narrowed and she slowly nodded her head. "...yeah, uh huh..." She said, sounding less than enthused by the princess' explanation.

"I'm serious, Applejack! After...er, testing out some of its features, I've decided that we could really use a trank or two in the Crystal Kingdom...for...things. R-right, Shining?"

Now placed into the spotlight by his wife, and feeling both sets of eyes from the mares awaiting his answer, Shining Armor's body reddened under his white coat as his face flushed tellingly in embarrassment. He muttered out "...please don't tell Twilight about this..."

Author's Note

Cadance is decidedly a worse liar than Queen Chrysalis (May Love Be Upon Her).

There are three things that contributed to me making this story:

First, I was influenced by EQAD'S Sexty Minute Stories prompt 2 way back when. What I had written up wasn't saucy or sloppy enough so I decided to decline sending it then.

Second was an anon on some thread or another about the effect of FiM merchandise on FiM canon and my accepting of their challenge.

Third was the gloriously sloppy and sexy Vindicated Depravity by Anonymous Pegasus. So this in a way is a fanfic to a fanfic and hopefully the people who read this will go read his story and bother him to release more of his gloriously engaging work.