Equestria's biggest threat

by Ashfur

Rating: teen
Tags: Profanity, Random, Princess Celestia, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Princess Luna, Comedy
Length: 1100

It has arrived. The ultimate foe of legend looms large over Equestria... in some other story. Here a leaf takes over the world.

You all asked for it. The reign of the mighty Leaf With Googly Eyes has arrived in Equestria as best villain, and total conquest seems a forgone conclusion.

That, or Celestia really doesn't want to work today.

Published 2019-03-21 19:30:01 UTC
Last updated 2019-03-21 19:30:01 UTC

A Bucking Leaf

Celestia mulled over some papers as she listened to the melodious bird songs out her window. It was a lovely time of year, with new trees growing and flowers popping up all over Canterlot. Still, she wasn't in the best of moods. Just last week she had announced a retirement plan, and was almost immediately shot down by her would-be successors. Yet, they had made valid points, and therefore Twilight and her friends were not the cause of her negative mood. Instead, it was one of Twilight's parting shots: “After Cozy Glow, is a leaf with googly eyes going to take over the world?!”

And, as much as Celestia hated to admit it, Twilight had a point. The major threats to Equestria seemed to be coming from more common places. Gone were the days of ancient evils like Tirek and Sombra returning from eons-long imprisonments to conquer equestria. Instead, her subjects have had to deal with increasingly ridiculous attacks, including:

-Some chick who lost a friend 15 years ago and tried to cause communism as a result
-That same chick but now trying to break time itself because she's salty about losing
-A baby crying really fucking loud
-Luna's imagination
-Chrysalis, again
-Some land dispute over a damn tree
-Bullshit happening in the human world that Sunset couldn't handle alone, multiple times
-Daily life in Rainbow Falls
-Chrysalis, for like the third time
-Some dweeb who got out in limbo time-out when he got mad that the big colts wouldn't let him touch the macguffins
-Oh, and a third grader

Honestly, Twilight wasn't too far off the mark, Celestia thought to herself. She decided to get some fresh air and think for a bit. What she didn't notice was that a leaf from a vine outside her office floated in through the window on a breeze and land gently in her chair.

A few minutes later, an exhausted, half-asleep Luna trotted in with some paperwork of her own. “Sister, we have some questions about- OH DEAR FAUST ABOVE!” Luna recoiled in terror at seeing the leaf in Celestia's chair. She recalled the ominous prediction Twilight had griped about as well, and for a brief second her overworked brain thought it was real. As she backed up, she stepped in the small trash can by the door, tripping and falling backwards as some stray trash knocked the leaf out of the chair. It drifted behind her as she stumbled back out into the hallway, which only served to drive her into more of a panic. “No! Thou art not real! The kingdom shall not be conquered by some measly piece of foliage! We shall- whoa, whoa!” Luna tripped and tumbled down the stairs, which was not too pleasant given the fact Celestia's office was five stories up.

Three stories down, on the second floor, a tour group of foals and their teacher were being led around. “Alright, children, gather ‘round! We can see the lovely gardens through this window, and I can even see princess Celestia! Later today, we'll meet her and make her some wonderful macaroni artwo-”

As the teacher held the art supplies aloft, a deep blue something came crashing down the steps and out the window, the supplies getting caught up in the commotion. “OH NO! NOT THE MACARONI ART!” The teacher lamented.

One of the foals cried out as well. “Oh no! I spent all my allowance on those self-stick googly eyes for our art! Now what are we going to give the princesses?” Little did the colt know, they had just given the princesses the means for quite the scare…

Luna crashed out the window and into the garden below, ramming into Celestia and causing the both of them crash into a big tree. Leaves rained down around them as they recollected their sense of where they were, and the jar of googly eyes crashed against the tree, spilling out onto the leaf pile. When the celestial sisters had fully rebooted their brains, they found themselves face to face with each other.

“Sister?!” Luna cried out. “Thou art alright! We thought the vile leaf had captured thee!”

“Luna? What… what are you talking about?” Celestia asked, puzzled.

“The leaf that Sparkle said would be our next major threat! It claimed thy office chair, and caused us to come tumbling down here without touching us! It must be among the strongest of mages to do so without us detecting its magic!”

“Oh, Luna. You are so silly. Twilight never said that would happen, she was just making an exaggeration… to… prove… her… point.” Celestia's speech slowed as she noticed the pile of googly-eyed leaves they were entombed in. Luna noticed as well, and gasped.

“Oh no! Sister, they have multiplied! It has henchleaves! Hedgeleaves? Wait... these are just leaves!”

Celestia, having realized the situation, gained a mischevious smile on her face. “I… No, Luna, they are real. Twilight was right. There is only one thing for us to do.”

“And that is?”

She chuckled with a smirk that implied centuries of politics. “We surrender the crown and take a vacation that way, of course!”

Dear Princess Duchess Twilight Sparkle,

Recent events at the castle have led to some dramatic changes in the hierarchy. Unfortunately, my sister and I were bested by the almighty, unblinking Lord of the Leaves and his many followers, and had to surrender the throne to save the kingdom. We request that you and your friends come and pay your respects to our new overlords as soon as possible, and maybe find some way to convince them to leaf the rest of the kingdom alone.

Your Friend,
Princess Duchess Celestia

P.S. Don't bring a salad in case it offends him.

Twilight put down the letter, sighed, and summoned some painkillers to combat the migraine she already felt coming on. “SPIKE! GET THE LEAF BLOWER! WE'RE GOING TO CANTERLOT!”

The young drake sleepily poked his head out of his bedroom, the tips of his wings visible as he stretched them. He let loose a mighty yawn. “Ugh, at this time of day? I was just laying down for my nap! Why do we need the leaf blower, anyway?”

“I think our glorious rulers are actually trying to get fired now. When we get to the castle, we're going to have a little friendship lesson with them about responsibility.

Author's Note

I had this idea and couldn't stop laughing. It was either this, or sctually have a leaf take over the kingdom... maybe someday I'll tell that story, too.