Reaching For The Stars

I refused to leave the safety of my bed for the next few days. I was looking out the window through a telescope and mapping more stars on the paper in front of me. The paper has been filling up quickly and made me think about possibly getting another sheet to continue working. I heard the door open up slowly and sighed out of frustration, my concentration having been disrupted.

“Astral?” Eclipsa whispered to me.

“What is it?” I responded, trying to find where I was on the paper again.

“Come on down here please,” she said, “we need to talk.”

“Can’t,” I answered, “too busy mapping out stars.”

“Is that so?”

“Yes it is, Eclipsa,” I replied, “now would you please leave me alone?”

“How are you mapping stars right now?” Eclipsa wondered. “It’s currently daylight outside.”

“And?”

Eclipsa sighed, “Look, Astral,” she flew up to my bed, “you can talk to me about anything…as your friend, I’m here for you.”

I rolled my eyes, “I doubt you could have ever felt what I’m feeling right now. This kind of hurt, this kind of pain, it’s unbearable.”

Eclipsa frowned, “You don’t think I could understand that feeling?”

“No,” I stated, “you can’t. You’re too happy all the time to know just how this feels.”

“In that case,” continued Eclipsa, turning my head and forcing me to make eye contact with her, “allow me to tell you a story. Maybe then, you can understand why I’m so happy all of the time.”

“Eclipsa,” I protested, “not now. I’m too busy.”

“Screw your maps right now!” Eclipsa shouted.

I gasped a little bit, folding my ears and looking down towards my maps. I began to tear up a little bit and used my hoof to wipe it away. I heard Eclipsa choke up slightly and looked back towards her. She looked away and rubbed the back of her neck softly.

“S-Sorry,” she admitted, “it’s just…this isn’t like you. We may have only known each other for a short while, but I know you enough to know when you’re not acting like yourself.”

I shook my head, “If I could have just put my hoof down more, none of this would have happened…”

“Let me tell you a story, Astral,” Eclipsa sighed, “then you can tell me that I don’t know what this feeling feels like.”

She sat at the edge of my bed with her hooves dangling off the side, looking down in the process. Reluctantly, I looked towards her and prepared myself to listen to what Eclipsa had to say. I thought that maybe saying something first to her would have helped pave the way, but I couldn’t think of anything to say, letting her have the whole floor.

“How do you think we managed to get here, Astral?” Eclipsa asked me, still staring at the ground. “We all didn’t have the best of friendships if we’re here.”

I squeaked a little bit, knowing that Eclipsa was right. We were all there for a reason, whether they were small or large. I looked down as Eclipsa continued with her story.

“My friendships back home were…” She paused slightly before picking back up, “well, let’s just say that they weren’t as desirable as the ones I’ve made here at this school. The ponies around me when I was younger didn’t mean well and, well…”

“Well what?”

Eclipsa looked directly at me, “They teased me because I was different.”

I cocked an eyebrow, “Why would they do that? You could still pass as a regular pony.”

Eclipsa chuckled sarcastically, “Yeah, try telling that to ponies that roam around during the daylight. I may look like a regular pony, but when they found out about my differences and my bat-like behavior, it didn’t take long for them to determine that I was a bat pony. Do you know what it’s like to be teased for being different?”

“Well,” I said, “I think I-”

“I’m not talking about bad ponies being bad for the sake of putting you down,” interrupted Eclipsa, “I’m talking about ponies being racist for the kind of pony that I am. I can almost guarantee that you have never felt that kind of pain before. When we met, you had no idea what I was and that was beautiful to experience. If the ponies I met while I grew up were like you, then there would be no need for me to even be here at this school, and that’s something I wish I could have experienced, but you know what? Ending it all because of what others think shows that they’re stronger than you, but pressing onward to prove a point to them is even stronger.”

I felt a tear form in my eye and wiped it away, “I-I’m sorry to hear that, Eclipsa…I had no idea.”

Eclipsa shook her head, “It’s okay, Astral.” I saw her wipe her eyes and look to the door, “You can come in!”

“Huh?” I blurted out.

The door opened up and revealed the others to me. Summer, Doppel, Cobalt, and Willow all stepped foot into the room and shut the door behind them. I glanced down at all of them, then looked away bashfully, feeling myself blush and tear up a bit.

“Astral?” Summer whispered.

I shook my head, “I can’t do this…”

“It’s okay, Astral,” Doppel insisted.

“Yeah,” Cobalt added, “you know that we’re here for you.”

“All of us,” Willow sympathized.

Eclipsa looked towards me and nodded slowly, “See, Astral? Good friends offer their condolences but real friends,” she pointed down to the others and smiled a little bit, “real friends sympathize with you.”

“Eclipsa’s right, Astral,” Summer stated, “we’re here to help you with…”

“With whatever it is that’s making you feel this down,” finished Cobalt.

“I-If you don’t mind me asking,” Doppel muttered, “wh-what happened the other day with you and Headmare Twilight?”

I looked away, glancing out of the window. I tried to find the strength to explain what happened in Headmare Twilight’s office the other day and the news I’d received, but I just couldn’t seem to muster up the courage to say anything on the subject. Eclipsa noticed this and started to rub my back slowly. I jumped slightly as a result of the unexpected touch, but somehow felt relieved that she did this. Mom used to do something similar to me when I felt anxious or depressed, especially after my failed first attempts at friendship back home. I looked back towards her and blushed slightly, nodding at her as my way of saying thank you. I looked down towards the others and took in a deep breath, letting it out slowly as I looked for the right words to explain what had happened.

“Well,” I began, “when Headmare Twilight called me into her office,” I gulped a bit, choking slightly on my next few words, “I, uhh…she asked about my mother and how close I was to her.”

“How come?” Willow asked.

“B-Because, umm,” I started to tear up again, rubbing my eyes with my hooves, “well, doctors contacted Headmare Twilight to let her know that something…something has happened back home.”

“What happened?” Doppel wondered.

I bit my lip slightly, “My, my mother, umm, s-she passed…she’s gone.”

More tears had fallen from my eyes as I wiped them away. Eclipsa rubbed my back some more and wrapped one of her wings around my body as a friendly gesture. The others all had shocked expressions on their faces and each offered their condolences as I was going through this troubling time.

“Th-thank you,” I nodded, wiping more tears away, “all of you…I’m truly lucky to have friends as good as all of you.”

“Come here, Astral,” Summer suggested, flapping her wings a bit and holding her hooves out in front of her.

With Eclipsa’s help, I climbed down off of my bed and was soon in the center of a group hug from everyone in the room. I broke down a little bit more as I hugged everyone back, feeling warm and happier with everycreature there.

I know Mom would have been proud with the friends that I’ve made here.

A few days later, I finally left the comfort of my room to study in the library. Since today was Saturday, no classes were being held today, which meant that the library was slightly emptier than it usually was.

Expecting to see nopony, I heard somepony approach me. I looked up and saw that it was Headmare Twilight in front of me. She had her ears folded and looked as if the news she gave me was still bothering her.

“It’s glad to see you finally out of your room,” she told me, sitting next to me.

“Same, honestly,” I admitted, “I started to feel cramped up in my room.”

“Did your friends help out?” Twilight asked, “I know they were worried about you. They all came to my office together for some advice, but I couldn’t give it to them.”

“They did?” I whispered, surprised in all honesty.

Twilight nodded, “This is something that we honestly can’t prepare anypony for. Losing a loved one is something that’s rough. It’s unprepared most of the time and, well, let me have Applejack explain that.”

“Applejack?” I repeated, seeing her approach us. She removed her hat and sat down in front of both Twilight and myself.

“Y’see, sugar cube,” she started, “Ah hav’n’t seen mah par’nts in quite a long time. They’ve both been gone…shoot, for as long as Ah can remember.”

Twilight nodded, “Applejack’s younger sister, Applebloom, has wondered herself about where their parents were.”

“What do you tell her?” I wondered. “She’s only just a little filly.”

“We hav’n’t told her what happened,” Applejack explained, “but Ah believe she’s old enough to figure it out. They died shortly after Applebloom was born. Granny Smith, Big Mac, and myself decided it was best if we di’n’t ruin her fillyhood with news like that.”

“She does have a right to know,” I protested, “whether she knew them or not.”

“Yer right,” Applejack continued, “she does. But it has to come when we know she’s ready to handle somethin’ like that. Learnin’ that your parents are gone isn’t like paintin’ a barn or buckin’ apples from a tree. Sometimes, it needs the right kind of moment to talk about it. We know how much Applebloom is growin’ up, but one day, she will find out what happened, whether we tell her or not. Our hope is for us to tell her one day, but that’s up to her to let us do that.”

I nodded and took in what Applejack said. It was glad to know that somepony else here at the school had experienced something similar to what I was currently going through and made me feel a bit more at peace. I looked up again, and saw Applejack stand up.

“Loss ain’t easy,” she continued, putting her hat on again, “but then again, nothin’ in our lives are easy. It’s what we make of it after the fact.”

I smiled softly, “Thank you, Applejack…it means a lot to me to know how much you’ve helped out in my struggling time.”

Later that day, I found a book that intrigued me. I pulled it off of the shelf and looked at the title, wondering what it meant.

“Manus Incompertus quod Anon,” I stumbled saying, “what does that mean…?”

I opened up the book and saw a bunch of pictures about different places scattered throughout the realm beyond Equestria. One place that caught my eye was called “Necromaneteion of Eponius,” and really seemed weird. I tried reading the page myself, but found that the language it was written in was too tough to figure out.

I studied the pictures deeply and tried making out the words, but couldn’t really piece them together. One word, however, jumped out at me and made me want to visit this place: Vivifica. I knew that this was a variance of something to do with life, so I wanted to do something with this place. I also desired to take the book to Twilight to see what she knew about this, but decided against it because, were it real, I wanted to visit this place alone.

I looked at an extended map of the world beyond Equestria and tried to locate something close to where this place was located. I kept looking back and forth between the book and the map, eventually pinpointing where this place should be located.

“High up north and in the mountains,” I sighed, looking back to the picture, “anything for my mother.”