Girl's Night Out

by FabulousDivaRarity

Rating: mature
Tags: Profanity, Random, Shining Armor, Slice of Life, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Princess Cadance, Comedy
Length: 2769

Cadence's two college friends come to take her for a girls night. Drunken hilarity ensues.

Shining Armor could tell his wife was running herself into the ground while caring for Flurry Heart. He decides to give her the night off with two friends to remedy this.

Booze, burgers, karaoke, and sex talk happen as a result.

Published 2019-03-23 10:50:01 UTC
Last updated 2019-03-23 10:50:01 UTC

Girl's Night Out

Author's Note

This was just a really random one shot that popped into my head. It was very fun to do.

I am not British, but I did try and include British terminology for our Trottingham Character.

I may or may not have stayed up way too late writing this and in turn have made it somewhat of a crack fic because of that. 👀:trollestia:

The song sung was "When I Kissed The Teacher" By Lily James.

Enjoy the fun! :pinkiehappy:

Girl's Night Out

Princess Cadence sat in her bedroom in the Crystal Empire’s castle. Flurry Heart had just gone to bed. It was two months after the Crystalling Ceremony, and she and Shining Armor had spent their days trying to juggle ruling an empire and taking care of an alicorn baby. Neither of them had had much of a break in that time, with the exception of going to the gallery opening of Spearhead. Even then, they had been reluctant to leave her.

The Princess of love in particular had been running herself ragged caring for the foal. Flurry was dependent on her for feedings, and she nursed her at night, and did quite a few diaper changes. She did the brunt of the heavy work, and she felt that it was supposed to be that way. Mothers took care of their babies. It was that simple to her. Shining Armor, being the gentleman he was, had always offered to do more, but Cadence had been insistent. Shining, even in his sleep deprived state could see that his wife needed a break.

So, he saw to it that she got just that.

He had made a few arrangements, and had checked on Flurry to make sure that she was asleep, before he went to his wife. He had alerted the guards that two special guests were coming, and they had allowed them in without a fuss or loud announcements at the Prince’s insistence. He found his wife sitting in her room.

“Cadence?” He asked.

Cadence looked up at him. “What is it, Shining? Does Flurry need a feeding again?”

“No, no. She’s still asleep. I have a surprise for you.”

She raised an eyebrow. “What?”

He gave her a half smile, and she knew it instantly. It was the one he gave her when he was plotting something. He had given it to her on the night he proposed, and the night Flurry had been conceived. She knew that if he gave her that look, she’d better do what he wanted, because he had a good reason.

“Come with me.” He said.

Cadence, though reluctant, followed him.

He led her through the castle to a room far enough away from the nursery to attract Flurry’s attention, but close enough to be able to hear if she cried. He opened a door, and then used a noise cancelling spell to soundproof the room. When Cadence saw the ponies inside, her eyes went to the size of saucers.

She screamed.

She bounded over to the two unicorn ponies, wrapping them both in a hug and screaming and bouncing up and down all the while. Crystal Gleam and Silver Quill had been her best friends in school. She hadn’t seen them since her wedding, and she had missed them terribly. She pulled back, laughing jubilantly.

“Crystal Gleam! Silver Quill! What are you doing here?” She asked, grinning ear to ear.

“We’re here to take you out, love!” Said Silver Quill in a Trottingham accent.

Cadence was clearly surprised. “What?”

“Darling, we love you, but you don’t look good. You need a night away. Your hubby sent for us, and we came to save the day!” Said Crystal.

“I can’t just leave. Flurry-“

“Flurry will be fine.” Shining interrupted. “I can handle our daughter for a while and let you have some time away. You’ve been working too hard, Cadence. You deserve a break.”

“But Shiny-“

“No buts. I’ve decided. I can have a break some other time. Right now, you’re taking on too much, and you need to stop and relax.” He said.

“She needs to be fed.” Cadence argued.

“And you really think the bottles you made up can’t do the job?” He countered.

“I know, but-“

He put a hoof to her lips to stop her from talking. “Cadence, you need to make time for yourself, because if you aren’t doing that, you aren’t at your best and you can’t give Flurry your best. Doesn’t our daughter deserve her Mother at her best?”

Cadence opened her mouth, then shut it. He had a point. She sighed in defeat. “I’m not going to win here, am I?”

A resounding “Nope!” Came from all three of them.

She smiled. “Alright, I’ll go.”

Crystal and Silver cheered. Shining gave his wife a kiss.

“Don’t worry, Flurry will be fine. Kick up your hooves and have a good time. I’ve got things under control here.”

“What would I do without you?”

“You’ll never have to find out.” Shining grinned.

Cadence turned to her friends. “Alright. What are we doing?” She asked.

“You’ll see.” Said Silver Quill.

“Do I need to pack anything?”

“Nothing at all.” Promised Crystal.

“Let’s go, then.” Cadence smiled.

The three mares went through the castle, talking and reminiscing about years gone by. Cadence was the first mother of the three of them, and Silver had married about two years before Cadence and Shining had. Crystal was the only one still single, but she was okay with that, and happy about it even. She wasn’t ready to be tied down.

When they got outside the castle, Crystal and Silver stopped, and Cadence had abruptly done the same.

“What-“ Cadence had tried to speak before the two unicorns lit their horns, and teleported the three of them to a place in Trottingham.

Cadence looked around and found herself on an unfamiliar street. Nothing around her looked recognizable.

“Where are we?” Asked Cadence, a bit unnerved.

“Trottingham, love. We need to be here to get the best out of your night out.”

Crystal had already begun walking to a door before Cadence could comment. “Come on, in here.”

Cadence had followed, more than a bit dazed by the situation.

The place they had entered was a bar. It was more of a tavern, actually. Serving greasy hayburgers, fries, nachos, and other foods to go along with the wide variety of alcohol inside. The place was lit by low-hanging lanterns, and had a grungy feel to it. A highly informal place, with a stage up front for bands or DJ’s to play. Cadence hadn’t been anywhere so informal in such a long time. Being Princess meant fancy galas and grand openings, not… This.

“Thought you could use a change of pace, darling.” Explained Silver Quill.

Cadence was not opposed to a change of pace, certainly. This was just unexpected. She followed her friends to the bar, and the three took seats there.

“First thing’s first- straight shots.” Crystal said to them, and nodded to the barkeep, who quickly set about fulfilling their order.

Cadence was obviously gobsmacked. “Are you insane? I haven’t had a straight shot since college! And I’m nursing, I can’t drink!”

“Too bad, you’re in. We already know how the alcohol won’t get to your milk, and all you have to do is not nurse until morning. Shining Armor already approved our plan, and we’re following through, or do you want us to tell him you did not live tonight to it’s fullest, and disappoint him?”

Cadence sighed. They had gotten her by the tail. “Alright, fine. But only so you two don’t throw a tantrum and cause a scene.”

Crystal grinned at her. “And who says we won’t cause one anyways?”

Cadence smirked now. “Knowing you two, you probably will.”

“And we do it with vigor, love.” Silver nudged her.

Cadence laughed. It was probably the most carefree laugh she had given since Flurry was born. She felt a bit guilty, having fun while Shining was at home with their daughter, and for leaving Flurry in the first place, but the sound of three glasses clinking on the shiny wood of the bar cut that train of thought short. The three of them picked up their glasses and clinked them together with a ting.

“To girls night out!” Cheered Crystal.

“To girls night out!” Echoed Cadence and Silver.

The three of them downed their shots all at once. The unified slamming of shot glasses on the bar signaled the end of the first round.

“I haven’t done this in such a long time.” Cadence said.

“I know what you mean, love. Been forever since I been out without me old man biting me in the flank.” Silver said.

“How is Fire Grill doing anyway?” Asked Crystal.

“Still the same old bat he’s always been. Spending all his nights working at that new restaurant in town. He’s making good money out of the deal, but he’s never home anymore.”

“So what you’re saying is he’s never around to sex you up anymore?” Said Crystal bluntly.

“Exactly.”

Cadence looked at Crystal. “And here I thought we wouldn’t get any of that kind of talk until you were hammered.”

Crystal put a hoof to her chest. “What am I, the innocent one? No, Caddie, that honor belongs to you. You’ve only done it with one stallion in your entire life.”

“And I picked the right one.” Cadence defended herself.

“You did pick the right one, but you could have had more than one before that.” Crystal shot back.

“It’s true. You could have had more than just one.” Said Silver, as she yelled for the bartender to get them more drinks.

Cadence looked to Silver. “More drinks? Are you two trying to give me a hangover?”

“No.” Said Silver Quill.

“We’re trying to give you the time of your life!” Crystal said, throwing her head back dramatically.

Cadence smiled at the two of them. “Takes me back to our college years.”

“Ah, they were fun. You were a princess, but you knew how to party!” Crystal grinned.

“You didn’t get the nickname “cupid” for nothing. A kiss from you, and they were smitten, all of those stallions who you spun the bottle with. Don’t pretend you didn’t enjoy your seven minutes in heaven.” Grinned Silver.

Cadence put her hoof to her face. “And here I thought I would outrun that nickname.”

“You have.” Crystal said, before giving her a wicked grin. “Just not with us!”

The three shared a laugh before the next round of drinks were up. A Stout for Silver, a Cosmopolitan for Cadence, and a Martini for Crystal. They all sipped their drinks as the conversation continued on. Suddenly, Crystal leaned over and took in a breath enough for the other two to notice.

“Be still my beating vagina.” She said. The two mares followed her gaze to a stallion with a blonde mane in a crew cut, a pure white coat, and blue eyes. Just Crystal’s type.

“Talk to him!” Said Silver Quill.

“It’s girls night, I wouldn’t dare. I can have fun off the clock.”

“You’re here with cupid, and you’re not taking that chance?!” Silver pointed a hoof to Cadence.

“Hey! I wouldn’t get involved with that! I would be abusing my power. Besides, Crystal can charm him on her own.”

Crystal grinned at her. “True enough. But I’m still not leaving you two.”

“We could do something to help you make an impression.” Cadence offered.

“And I know just what that is.” Said Silver with a wicked grin.

Cadence and Crystal looked at each other. They both knew that could never be good.

Silver was quick to put her plan into action, ordering two more rounds of drinks for them. Just enough to get them drunk, but not enough to make them slur their words. Then, she went to the barman. After speaking to him a few moments and gaining a nod, Silver grabbed her friends by the hooves.

“Silver, what-“ Cadence stammered before she saw where they were being dragged to and put a full stop to it. “Oh no. You are not getting me up there!”

“Come on, pet. It will be fun! You know you used to do it all the time in Uni!” Silver reasoned.

“Yes but-“

“Come on, Caddie. Live a little, just for one night. Please?” Asked Crystal.

She sighed. “Fine. What are we doing?”

“You know which one. The classic one.” Silver said.

She looked at both Crystal and Silver. “If my Aunts or my Sister-In-Law finds out about this, you two are toast.”

The two were unintimidated and instead squealed, dragging Cadence to the stage with them. The spotlights were on, and suddenly three microphones were in front of them, with the band coming out and getting ready to play. Silver had gone all out with this request, and it floored her to think of just how many bits all this might cost her by night’s end.

The music started, and Cadence took in a breath before she began singing.

“Everypony screamed when I kissed the teacher…”

When the music really got going, Cadence started letting go. It was like falling back into an old pattern, with her and her friends taking the stage again. They danced, they sang, and they earned cheers from the crowd, culminating with the three of them crowd surfing, and then ending back up on the stage for the finish of the song. When it was over, cheers and applause ripped through the crowd, and the three mares were laughing and smiling.

“We need to get some food!” Said Crystal over the deafening roar.

“I’m in!”

“Me too!”

They walked down from the stage in step, and ordered food. Soon after, Crystal was tapped on the shoulder. It was the stallion from before.

“You were great.” He said smoothly.

Crystal batted her lashes. “Won’t be the last time you’ll be saying that, I guarantee.”

He arched an eyebrow, pleasantly surprised. “I hope not.”

Crystal grinned at him as he gave her his address, and then walked away. When she turned to her friends, Silver grinned at her and sipped at another drink.

“Told you it would work.” She said. “Bit naff for you though, isn’t he?”

“You know me, I like things informal.” Crystal grinned.

Cadence laughed. “You two are the dynamic duo when it comes to meeting stallions. Remember how they used to chase you in college?”

“Please, Caddie, they were looking for a fix after you turned them down. We were just sloppy seconds for them.” Crystal said.

“That is not true! You could have had anypony you wanted.” She fired back.

“Aye, but it all worked out in the end, didn’t it? You got a man and a daughter, I got myself a cranky old loon, and Crystal-”

“Got a free pass to be single and love it for the rest of my life!” Crystal grinned.

“Someday, Crys, you’ll find a stallion to settle down with.” Cadence said.

“But woe to the poor fool who thinks he can tame her.” Said Silver with a grin.

“True.”

The three of them sipped their drinks and ate the food that had just come for them in quiet for a few moments.

“We’ve done alright, haven’t we?” Asked Silver.

Crystal nodded. “We sure have.”

“I couldn’t imagine anything better.” Cadence grinned.

The rest of the night was spent regaling old stories, catching up with everypony’s lives, and more than once going back up on the stage for karaoke. They laughed, they joked, they talked, and they had an amazing time. By the time they decided to take Cadence home, it was nearly two in the morning, and they were all more than a bit cockeyed. They laughed too loud as they made their way out of the bar, and teleported Cadence back to the palace. The three went inside, and Cadence insisted they stay the night so that they wouldn’t get hurt. Still a hostess in mindset even while intoxicated, she showed them to guest bedrooms and bid them goodnight before she went to her own bedroom. She stopped by the nursery on the way there, and found that Flurry was asleep, and satisfied, had headed to bed.

Shining Armor had already been asleep when she got there, and she hadn’t been surprised. She climbed into bed and snuggled up to her husband, thinking about just how she could repay him.

Just before she fell asleep, she grinned. Maybe he would have to have a night out soon too…