Two Unicorns, a Dragon, and a Baby
“Okay, now just relax, concentrate, and try not to burn the castle down.”
The Great and Powerful Trixie turned to her friend Starlight Glimmer with a pout. “You should have more faith in me,” she said, turning back toward the pot of water on the kitchen stove in front of them. “You told me yourself that I’ve gotten really good with my spells.”
“I do have faith in you, Trix,” Starlight replied, glancing at a worn and ancient spellbook laid out on the counter to the side. “I also know that you sometimes get a little, you know… Excited.” She looked back at her occasional student in advanced magic. “And this spell requires a bit more subtlety than you usually show.”
“I still don’t see the point in learning this,” Trixie said, studying the pot. “I already know spells for pyrotechnics. Look.” She glanced at Starlight as her unicorn horn glowed with mana. A tiny spark detached itself from the tip and described a curling path toward Starlight’s face, exploding into a tiny flower of flame with a pop as it reached the tip of her pinkish-purple snout.
“Ow!” Starlight rubbed her nose. “Careful with that!” Starlight’s own horn glowed as she moved the most certainly valuable spellbook away from the stove. “I know you can do fireworks just fine. But this spell can be really useful. You’ll be able to heat things up precisely.”
Trixie huffed, tossing her white and blue-streaked mane. “And how exactly will that be useful to me?”
“Well, suppose you’re on the road, headed for your next magic show, and the weather turns bad. You can heat up a meal in your wagon without having to build a campfire outside.” Starlight’s brow furrowed as she considered other uses. “You can also use it for potion-making, I suppose. For precise heating and stuff like that, although I’m hardly an expert…” Starlight trailed off as she cocked an ear. “Do you hear that?”
“Hear what?” Trixie also stopped talking and listened carefully. A faint, uluating cry could be heard in the distance. “I think so.”
“It sort of sounds like a siren,” Starlight mused.
“You mean like one of those creatures that hypnotizes you with singing?” Trixie asked.
“No, I mean like the things on top of fire wagons.” Starlight shrugged. “Maybe there’s a fire in town. Anyway, this is a useful spell to learn.”
“Oh, certainly,” Trixie replied dryly. “I’ll be sure to precisely heat things with it every day.” A sly smile crept onto her face. “Although I’ll bet even Princess Golden Girl will be impressed with me if I learn it.”
Starlight sighed. “Trixie, you’ve got to get over this rivalry you have with Twilight. It isn’t healthy. Or realistic.”
Trixie’s eyes narrowed. “Oh, you’re saying I can’t impress her with magic?”
“I’m saying it shouldn’t matter. Get better at spellcasting for your own sake, not hers.” Starlight cocked her ear again. “Okay, that sound’s getting louder.”
The two unicorns turned toward the kitchen door. The cry they’d heard before did indeed seem to be approaching them.
“You know,” Starlight began. “Call me crazy, but—”
“Okay, you’re crazy,” Trixie replied with a smile.
Starlight playfully slugged her friend’s shoulder with a forehoof. “Stop that. I was just going to say that noise sounds like… Like a baby crying.”
Trixie listened silently. “Sort of,” she finally said. “But it’s mixed with something.”
The cry was gaining in both volume and clarity, and Starlight could hear what her friend had meant.
“...aaaaaaaaarrrrrrr….”
“Aaar?” Trixie pondered for a moment. “Are there any pirates in the castle today?”
Starlight rolled her eyes. “None that I know of,” she replied. The cry had shifted slightly.
“...liiiiiighhhht….”
Starlight started. “That’s sounds like Spike,” she said. “That sounds like Spike calling for me!” Her horn glowed as she telekinetically opened the kitchen door. “Spike?” she shouted. “We’re in here! What’s wrong?”
A moment later, a small green and purple dragon appeared at the doorway, his eyes wide with terror. On his head, he wore a bowl as a makeshift helmet, and in his arms he carried a screaming infant foal. Spike stared at Starlight and Trixie, struggling and failing to say anything. “Twilight!” he managed to finally blurt out. “Baby!”
The two unicorns stared back at him, not quite able to process what they were looking at. “Spike, what happened?” Starlight shouted over the baby’s wails. “Where did that baby come from?!”
Spike’s ability to form complex sentences appeared to have crumbled under the child’s sonic assault. “Twilight!” he repeated. He held the baby out for emphasis. “Baby!”
“Oh, my goodness,” Trixie said. “Twilight Sparkle’s had a baby. What a scandal!” She squealed with excitement. “Who’s the father? Wait…” Trixie’s eyes widened. “That would mean she’s not a virgin anymore. Oh, fizz!” She stamped her hoof. “That’s another thing she beat me at!”
Starlight sat on her haunches and pressed her hooves to her ears to deaden the screaming. “Twilight didn’t have a baby,” she shouted. “She isn’t pregnant. I would have noticed!”
“Maybe she just hid it really well,” Trixie shouted back, magically grabbing a couple of dish towels from the sink and stuffing them around her ears. “Have you noticed her standing behind furniture a lot for the past few moons?”
“No! And she doesn’t have a boyfriend, either. It’s not her baby!”
“Come on, it’s clearly hers,” Trixie shot back, pointing at the screaming child. “Look at it! It looks just like her!”
“Okay, yeah, maybe!” Starlight replied. She took a close look at the foal. How, she wondered, did something that small produce so much noise? “It does have her coat color. And her mane color. And wings, just like her…” Starlight gulped, as an impossible thought crossed her mind. “Spike?” she shouted nervously. “Where’s Twilight?”
Spike once again held the baby out toward her. “Twilight!” he shouted insistently. “Baby!”
Starlight shook her head, wondering if this was some sort of bizarre nightmare from which she could wake herself. “Are you telling me that foal is Twilight?!” she asked. Spike nodded.
The two unicorn’s mouths both dropped open as they wordlessly turned first to each other, and then back to Spike and the now baby Twilight Sparkle. A crooked smile appeared on Trixie’s face that finally crumbled into a sputtering howl of laughter as she collapsed onto the floor in hysterics.
Starlight glared down at her friend, her hooves still clamped over her ears. “Thanks, Trix. You’re really helping.”
“I’m sorry!” Trixie gasped, “But… But… How did this happen?!”
“That’s a good question,” Starlight replied, turning back to Spike. “Spike, why is Twilight a baby?”
“Pinkie Pie!” he shouted, his brain still not quite up to the task of forming complete sentences. “Zecora! Allergy potion! Side effects!” He held up Twilight again. “Baby!”
Starlight closed her eyes, attempting to massage her temples while keeping her ears covered. She failed, and found herself wondering about the choice between an earache and a headache. “You know,” she said wearily, “it’s a testament to how long I’ve lived in this loony bin that that actually all makes sense.”
“Oh?” said Trixie, giggling as she regained some of her composure and sat up. “Could you translate for a visitor, then?”
“Pinkie Pie went to Zecora to get a potion to cure Twilight’s allergies, and the side effect was that she turned into a baby?” she asked Spike, who again nodded. “How long is this going to last?”
“How should I know?!” Spike replied, his higher speech functions returning. He held Twilight away from him, vainly hoping for some relief from the ear-splitting racket.
“Can you get her to stop crying, at least?!” Starlight shouted back.
“No! And I tried! That’s why I came running to you!” Spike held Twilight out to Starlight. “You get her to shut up!”
“Right…” Starlight uncovered her ears and levitated the baby out of Spike’s grasp, awkwardly grabbing it under its foreleg pits and holding it far out in front of her. She gulped. “Hey, Twilight, um…”
The baby continued to shriek.
“Look, Twilight,” Starlight began. “Are you maybe just a baby on the outside and still a grownup inside, and you’re just screaming out of a general sense of existential ennui…?” She paused. “No, I’m not buying it, either.”
Baby Twilight stopped screaming for a moment, and looked at her former student with her large violet eyes. Starlight’s heart leaped. Maybe Twilight really was still there inside. “Twilight? Can you understand me? Nod yes if you do!”
The baby looked back silently, then took a deep breath and began to shriek again.
Starlight sighed. “Okay, I’m gonna go out on a limb here and assume that she’s just a baby right now and there’s no reasoning with her.” The sound of sniggering drew her attention back to Trixie, who sat next to her on the floor, looking mightily amused at her friend’s efforts. “I’m glad this is so funny to you!”
“You’re terrible with children, aren’t you?” Trixie laughed.
“I’m not good with babies! They freak me out, to be honest!” Starlight glowered at her friend. “I suppose you could do better!”
Trixie sat up, folding her forelegs across her chest as she raised an eyebrow. “Let me have her,” she said quietly.
“What are you going to do with her?” Starlight asked, a note of concern in her voice.
“Just let me have her,” Trixie replied, her voice even as she held out her forelegs. Starlight and Spike exchanged a nervous glance before Starlight floated the foal into Trixie’s grasp. Trixie immediately held her close and began to gently bounce her and rub her back, pressing the baby’s ear to her chest.
“There we go,” she said softly. “Just relax and listen to the sound of my voice.” Twilight’s crying lessened almost immediately, as Starlight and Spike looked on in amazement.
“This must be awful for you, Twilight,” Trixie continued, her voice lilting and cooing. “You can’t make a speech about it, because you’re just a dumb little baby now, and can’t talk!”
“Um, Trix, can you maybe not bully Twilight while you do that—” Starlight began, before her friend shushed her.
“Let me do my thing,” she hissed. She continued to coo and bounce the baby princess. “And you can’t read a book about it, either, because you’re a little dumb-dumb baby and can’t read!” Baby Twilight’s screaming faded to a soft sobbing as Trixie continued. “I’ll bet if you saw a book right now, you’d just try to eat it. Because you’re a little moron!”
“Seriously, Trixie, she’s just a baby—” Starlight managed to say, before Trixie put a hoof to her lips and glared.
“You can’t think of anything, and you don’t care how ridiculous you look now,” she continued with a huge smile. Starlight and Spike both sighed, but watched in fascination as Twilight finally stopped crying and began to happily coo. Trixie looked up at them with a smug smile on her face. “Ta-daa,” she said quietly.
“How did you…?” Starlight began to ask before trailing off.
Trixie scoffed. “When you’ve played as many children’s birthday parties as I have, you’ve seen your share of baby brothers and sisters who need to get shushed. You learn a few things.” She smiled down at Twilight, bouncing her gently. “It’s all just keeping your voice low and even, letting them hear your heartbeat, and a little bouncing and back rubbing.” She looked back up at Starlight and Spike with a sly smile. “And when you make it part of the act, you get to slap on an extra foalsitting fee at the end.”
“That is devious and unethical and I could kiss you right now!” Starlight heaved a grateful sigh of relief and then turned to Spike. “Okay, what did Pinkie say when she gave Twilight the potion?”
“Nothing!” Spike scowled. “She just did that usual Pinkie Pie thing she does.” He began to bounce around on all fours, lilting his voice into Pinkie’s hyperactive squeak. “Hi, Twilight! I have an untested potion for you! I know it might have side effects, but I won’t mention that till after I feed it to you! Oh, you’re a baby now? Wow, too bad! Gotta go! Wheeee!” Spike landed and dropped his Pinkie impression, glaring in the general direction of Twilight’s bedroom, where Pinkie had last been seen wreaking havoc.
“Yeah, that sounds like Pinkie Pie,” Starlight sighed. She suddenly paused as a thought occurred to her. “Wait, she just left? What did the other girls say?”
“Nothing,” Spike replied, a note of fury in his voice. “Rarity shoved Twilight in my arms and they all just left me there.”
A shocked silence fell over the kitchen, broken only by an infantile gurgle from Twilight. Trixie shifted her hold and looked down at the baby alicorn. “You have awful friends!” she said brightly to her. Twilight responded by blowing a raspberry and chortling.
“I’m going to agree with both of you there,” Starlight said. “Although, to be fair, the last baby alicorn we all dealt with was Twilight’s niece, and she nearly destroyed the Crystal Empire by accident. Maybe they were just scared.”
“Of course they were scared,” Trixie laughed, looking down at Twilight. “Look at how scary the stupid little baby is!” Twilight smiled and cooed at her vaguely abusive caretaker.
“Okay, Trixie, that’s enough.” Annoyed, Starlight turned to her friend. “I know you’ve got your weird rivalry with her, and she probably can’t understand a word you’re saying, but knock it off!”
“Just a dumb little pee-pee head,” Trixie continued, bouncing the chortling baby. “You can’t do anything now! All you can do is eat and sleep and… and…” Trixie’s words died in her throat as her smile began to transform into a horrified rictus.
Starlight and Spike both looked at each other, confused, before turning back toward Trixie. “Trix, what’s wrong?” Starlight asked.
“Um…” Trixie began, then swallowed. “She’s, um…” Trixie looked down silently at the gurgling baby in her grasp. Everyone in the kitchen could now hear the sound of liquid dribbling onto the floor. Her face collapsed into a grimace of utter revulsion as she turned this way and that, as if searching for some escape from what was happening. “Gross!” she yelled! “So gross…!”
Starlight couldn’t help but chuckle. “Well,” she said. “I guess you really did get her to relax.”
Trixie glared at her friend, then held Twilight up in front of her. “You did that on purpose, you gross little monster!” she hissed.
“I doubt she can do anything on purpose right now, Trixie,” laughed Starlight. “And it serves you right for picking on her.” Starlight smiled at her friend’s consternation, then suddenly snorted.
“What?” asked Trixie testily.
“I was just thinking,” Starlight replied, a gleam in her eye. “I hear there are clubs in Manehatten where they’ll pay you to let them do what she’s doing to you right now— Ow!” Starlight rubbed the spot on her shoulder where Trixie had just slugged her. “What’s the big idea?!”
“You keep that nasty talk to yourself!” Trixie huffed, then covered Twilight’s ears. “There’s a baby here!”
“Oh, yeah,” Starlight laughed. “You’re a moral paragon.”
Trixie sniffed, holding Twilight close, then remembered what she was covered with and held her away. “Can we do something about Princess Pee Pants here? Before something even worse comes out of her?”
“Yeah, we clearly need some baby stuff right now. Diapers especially,” Starlight agreed.
“Guest room!” Spike blurted out. Starlight looked at him quizzically. “The guest room she keeps for when Cadance and Shining Armor visit,” he explained. "It’s full of baby stuff for Flurry Heart. You know, like a crib? Changing table? Diapers?”
“Well, that’s convenient,” said Trixie.
“And kind of plausible, too,” Starlight added. “Okay, first…” She levitated a dish towel and proceeded to swaddle Twilight in it. “That should help keep her from making a bigger mess. Now, Spike, you lead the way.” She turned to Trixie. “Let’s get both of you cleaned up and hopefully Twilight back to normal. Otherwise…”
“Otherwise…?” Trixie asked.
“Otherwise, I may need your foalsitting services for the next 10 or 20 years,” Starlight replied.
She was only half-joking.
“Is she safe to hold now?” Trixie asked as she exited the bathroom in the guest suite. “Because I don’t want to have to take another shower today.”
Spike and Starlight stood looking into a crib near the bed, where Twilight now sat safely diapered and softly crying. They looked over to Trixie.
“Trix, can you come over here a sec? We need to test something,” Starlight said.
Trixie shrugged and approached as Starlight levitated Twilight from the crib and floated her into Spike’s arms. She began to whimper and fuss. He shook his head, then held her out to Starlight. She took the baby into her own grasp, and got similar results. She then turned to Trixie.
“Here, hold her.” Trixie hesitated. “She’s fine! Come on, please?”
Trixie sat on her haunches and held out her forelegs as Starlight gently passed the infant to her. Twilight immediately calmed down and began to coo happily.
“Well, that’s that, then,” Starlight muttered.
Trixie’s eyes narrowed, immediately suspicious. “What’s what?”
“Twilight doesn’t seem to like either of us,” Starlight replied. “Probably because Spike ran screaming through the halls with her and I’m just super awkward with babies. So…”
“I don’t like where this is going,” Trixie whispered to Twilight. Twilight babbled back to her. “I’m glad you agree,” Trixie replied. “So,” she said, turning her attention back to Starlight, “how do we fix this?”
“Well,” began Starlight, “Spike is going to fly over to Zecora’s to learn if there’s anything we can do about this. Maybe we’ll get lucky and she’ll just be stuck like this for an hour or two.” She turned to Spike. “Okay?”
“Already on it!” Spike replied with a snappy salute, spreading his wings and flying out a nearby window. “I’ll get back as soon as I can!” he called behind him. With a few flaps of his wings, he sped away toward Zecora’s hut in the Everfree Forest.
Starlight turned back to Trixie and her tiny charge. “Meanwhile, I’m going down to the library and try to teach myself everything I can about potion-making and antidotes.”
“Can’t you just, I dunno, cast an age spell on her and grow her up again?” Twilight let out a squeal and squirmed in Trixie’s grasp. “See? Even Twilight thinks that’s the way to go.”
“Well, far be it from me to disagree with random baby squealing,” Starlight replied, “but it’s not that simple. This was caused by a really powerful potion interaction with alicorn magic. I’m not even going to attempt a counterspell until I get some idea of what we’re dealing with. Which brings us to your job in all this…” Starlight glanced away, clearly uncomfortable.
“Again, Trixie does not like where this is headed,” she whispered to Twilight. The baby blew a raspberry. “My feelings exactly.”
“While I’m diving into the books and Spike is out getting answers from Zecora, I’ll need you to keep Twilight there happy and hopefully not destroying the town.” Starlight took a deep breath, squared her shoulders, and looked her best friend in the eye. “And so I am officially naming you the acting royal foalsitter.”
“I knew it!” Trixie muttered. “And why should I do this?”
“Because an alicorn baby is a baby armed with enough magic to blow this whole town off the map,” Starlight replied. “I saw her niece Flurry Heart knock holes in the walls of her mother’s castle in the Crystal Empire every time she sneezed, and she nearly destroyed a powerful magical relic by screaming at it too loud.” Starlight leaned close to Trixie, her eyes narrowed threateningly. “And since it seems that you are the only one here that can keep her calm, you get to watch her and save us all from being being accidentally incinerated or turned into houseplants or something. Got it?”
Trixie’s eyes widened as she looked down at the baby she was holding. Twilight laughed and blew a spit bubble. She looked back up at Starlight. “She’s really that dangerous?” she asked in a small voice.
“Not as long as you keep her happy,” Starlight replied. She then smiled nervously. “You’ll get paid, naturally.”
“You better believe I’ll get paid!” Trixie hissed back. “Hopefully I’ll even live to spend it.” She sighed. “Okay, I’ve got it. Keep the golden child happy and non-murderous.” She saluted her friend. “Get going and do your magical genius thing already.”
Starlight relaxed and then gave her friend a quick hug. “Sorry if I came off a little strong there, but this really is serious.” She looked down at her shrunken mentor and gently stroked her cheek with the side of her hoof. “Don’t worry, Twilight, we’ll get you back to normal." The baby looked up at her and smiled.
“See? I’m not the only one she likes,” Trixie said.
“Maybe, but you’re clearly better at this than me.” Starlight laughed. “Maybe you’ve found a new calling.”
“Very funny,” Trixie replied, her tone indicating she found it anything but. “Now start studying, okay?! Scoot!”
“Scooting!” Starlight dashed out of the room, leaving Trixie alone with her charge.
Trixie looked around the guest suite. It really was very richly appointed, with a luxurious canopy bed and comfortable chairs set upon thick rugs. Trixie selected a rocking chair next to the crib, then sat down, cradling little Twilight in her forelegs. Twilight gazed up at her and gurgled.
Trixie sighed. “Why do you manage to complicate my life all the time?” she asked the baby. Twilight babbled a response. “Oh, don’t try to deny it!” Trixie retorted. “Ever since the very first day we met, you’ve made my life harder!”
The baby went silent a moment, then sneezed.
“It’s nothing to sneeze at!” Trixie exclaimed. She looked thoughtful for a moment. “Honestly, the day we met, my life changed completely.” Twilight cooed questioningly at her. “It really did,” Trixie replied.
“I was just a traveling magician,” she continued. “I’d hardly been on the road more than a few moons, and the act was only just starting to come together.” Twilight blew a raspberry. “It wasn’t that bad, and you know it!” Trixie shot back. She sighed. “Okay, maybe I went a little overboard with the insult comedy, but you can’t let hecklers run away with your show! And that’s what your friends were! They were heckling me!”
The baby gazed up at her, expectantly.
“Oh, you want me to talk about my stories about fighting the Ursa Major? Okay, fine! Yes, I made that up! It was an act! I’m a performer! I create illusions! I sell a lie because it’s thrilling for the audience! I never expected Tweedledum and Tweedledumber to go that far!”
That whole night had been a nightmare, Trixie thought. Those two local kids had been so swept away with her boasts that they’d gone into the Everfree Forest to lure one of the monstrous bear creatures back to town for her to fight. After spending an afternoon on stage bragging about her power and skills, she’d been exposed as a sham and utterly humiliated, unable to stop what had turned out to be a baby ursa.
Twilight kicked her forelegs and babbled at her.
“Oh, yes, it all turned out well for you!” Trixie exclaimed. “You got the good education as Princess Celestia’s little pet student and was able to cast, like, eight spells at once! You could handle that thing just fine!” Trixie sighed. “And you know what the worst part was? The very worst?”
The baby was silent, seemingly waiting for her to go on.
“The very worst part of all,” Trixie continued, “was that I saw you there, able to do all that, and it made me realize what a fraud I really was.” She sighed. “That was worse than having my wagon get smashed. I realized that you were the real thing. You were what I wished I could be.”
The baby gazed up at her, waving its forelegs. Trixie gently teased at them, eliciting a laugh.
“The truth is,” Trixie said quietly, “that I lied a bit when I told you that time that I couldn’t perform because you’d humiliated me.” She chuckled softly. “You remember that? Our magic duel? I said I had to work on a rock farm? Well, the truth was that no one really cared about what happened in Ponyville that night. Only me.”
She sat Twilight up and looked into her eyes.
“I couldn’t perform because I knew that you were out there, being real when I could only pretend to be you. That’s why I spent a year searching for that amulet. I needed you to see that I could be real, too.” She bounced the baby in her lap, then laid her back down. Trixie gently tickled her tummy, earning a wriggle and a smile.
“In retrospect, maybe using a cursed relic that made me act totally crazy and evil wasn’t the best plan ever hatched, but it was the best I could come up with at the time. After that whole mess, I was just glad that you let me off with an apology, and I honestly thought I’d never see you again.”
Trixie stuck out her tongue, and Twilight followed suit.
“Oh! You’re stealing my act now?! That is simply not done, even by princesses!” Trixie rocked her tiny charge, who settled back to quiet cooing. “And you know what you did then? Do you? Hm?” Trixie widened her eyes, overacting for the baby she held. The baby looked at her questioningly. “You sent your little student Starlight out to make a friend, and she chose me! What do you think of that?”
Twilight squirmed in her embrace, smiling and babbling.
“Yeah, you gave me the first real friend I ever had! And that was nothing but more trouble for me!” Trixie’s expression softened. “All the time I spent traveling around, I never wanted to make a friend, because I hated the thought of having to say goodbye when I left.” She looked down at Twilight with a smug smile. “And Starlight chose me to be hers, even when you didn’t approve! You may be her beloved teacher and all that, but I’m her best friend! And you just have to live with that!” She nodded emphatically.
Twilight blew a raspberry. “Oh, well, pfft to you, too!” Trixie exclaimed. “Thanks to having her as a friend, I had to go off and save your little royal tushie and everyone else’s when the changelings captured you!” She snickered, then rocked the baby some more. “See what I mean? You complicate my life! Thanks to you, I had to become a hero and help save the whole kingdom!”
The baby fell silent a moment, then again reached out to touch Trixie’s face. Trixie leaned forward to let her reach, and for a moment she felt the baby touch the end of her nose with its tiny hoof.
“And thanks to you, I’m learning real magic and possibly saving the town from a crazy infant alicorn.” She smiled and then pantomimed nipping at Twilight’s hooves. The baby chortled and squirmed, finding it all the height of hilarity. “So, you see how you’ve messed up my life? If it wasn’t for you, I could be alone and forgotten and never have seen that I really could be a hero.” Trixie paused. “So, thank you. Even for this.” She sat Twilight up in her lap again and looked her in the eye. “Except for peeing on me. I am never going to thank you for that!”
The baby laughed and wriggled in her grasp, then its expression soured.
“What’s with you?” Trixie asked. “Am I not sufficiently amusing now? Are you uncomfortable?” She held Twilight up and sniffed her diaper cautiously. “No, that seems okay. What’s wrong?”
Suddenly, Trixie heard a rumble from her tiny belly. Twilight frowned and began to fuss.
“Ah, you’re hungry, huh?” Trixie chuckled. “I guess you work up an appetite, screaming your head off and peeing on your houseguests. Okay, let’s see…” She looked around and then spotted an infant carrier in the corner. “Perfect!” she said, as she levitated Twilight into the carrier and buckled her in. Her horn flared as she floated the carrier next to her. “Why don’t we go down to the kitchen and see if we can find you something to eat?”
“All right,” Trixie said as she settled the carrier down on the kitchen floor. “Now, you are a girl who is so organized and so prepared that she keeps a whole nursery ready for her niece, so I’m betting…” Trixie telekinetically opened and shut several cupboards until she found one set aside from the others. “Bingo!”
Inside were jars of baby food and formula mix, along with a few clean baby bottles and rubber nipples. Trixie levitated a few jars of food over to her, then looked back at Twilight.
“You look awfully tiny,” she said. “I wonder if you can even eat solid food right now.” She studied the food jars, then returned them to the cupboard and took a bottle and formula mix, instead. “No point in risking it,” Trixie mused. She studied the instructions on the formula package, then measured some out into the bottle and added water from the tap in the sink. Attaching the nipple, she shook it up to mix it, then stopped.
“I have to warm this up, don’t I?” she asked Twilight. The baby only frowned and reached out toward her, fussing and wriggling. Trixie nodded to herself. “Yeah, I need to warm it. So, how do I use the stove…?”
She stopped, then smiled. “Who needs a stove?” she said, as she placed the bottle on the counter. She turned to Twilight, rearing up on her hind legs and spreading her forelegs out wide. “Prepare to be amazed, as the Great and Powerful Trixie harnesses the elemental power of fire and flame to heat this source of sustenance!” Twilight’s expression lightened, and she laughed at the showmare’s antics.
Dropping back onto all fours, Trixie turned to the bottle. “Okay, like Starlight said. Relax, concentrate, don’t burn the castle down.” She took a deep breath, closed her eyes, then gathered her magic to cast the spell.
She could feel the mana concentrate in her horn, then seemingly reach out toward the bottle. In her mind, she imagined it as if she were holding her hooves on either side of it, feeling its heat. At the moment, it didn’t feel warm at all. Well, of course it wouldn’t, she thought. It’s cold now. She concentrated, imagining heat flowing from her hooves into the bottle. Almost immediately, she felt it warm.
Her heart raced as she realized she was doing it. She was casting the spell properly, and controlling it. With luck, she wouldn’t get too excited and melt the glass bottle into slag. Just a little more, she thought. It just has to be warm, not boiling. When it felt just about right, she let the spell dissipate, then levitated the bottle toward her.
How do I test this, she wondered, before shrugging and holding it up over her mouth, letting a few drops drip onto her tongue. “It’s a little hot,” she called over to Twilight. “Better let it cool off a bit before I feed you. Let’s go back to the bedroom.” She placed the bottle into a pocket on the carrier and then levitated it, walking back out into the hallway. She peeked into the library as she passed by, seeing Starlight apparently trying to read three books at once.
“Any luck?” she called through the doorway. Starlight only waved a hoof vaguely in her direction, motioning her to get out. Trixie shrugged and continued up the stairs. “I don’t think she’s having much luck,” she whispered to Twilight, who frowned and whimpered. “Don’t worry, you’ll get fed in a minute,” Trixie replied.
They returned to the bedroom, and Trixie retook her seat in the rocking chair, with Twilight cradled in her lap. She floated the baby bottle from the carrier, then teased the nipple into the baby’s mouth. Twilight hesitated a moment before her infantile instincts kicked in and she began suckling noisily.
“Wow, listen to you!” Trixie joked. “Such poor table manners!” She made her own suckling noises along with Twilight. The baby smiled around the nipple at the funny sounds as she continued to feed.
Trixie rocked quietly, watching the bottle slowly empty. “I wish Starlight had been there to see me do that spell,” she said. “But I guess you appreciate it even more, huh?” Twilight looked up at her as she fed, then suddenly released the nipple and began to fuss, a grimace on her face.
“What now?” Trixie asked. The baby grew more upset, and then Trixie heard a gurgle from her stomach. She suddenly realized the problem. “You need to be burped, don’t you?” she asked, as she shifted Twilight over her shoulder. She was about to start patting her back, then stopped. “Wait, I’m missing something,” she said. “Every time I saw a mother burp their baby, they had…”
She looked around, then spotted a small cloth folded on the changing table. “That should do,” she said, laying the cloth over her shoulder and holding Twilight with her head laying against it. She patted the baby’s back a few times, then heard a burp, followed by a cough and the sound of something wet being spat up. Trixie settled Twilight back onto her lap, then levitated the cloth off her shoulder. As she expected, there was a small blob of milky spittle on it. She wiped Twilight’s mouth with a clean corner.
“So, first you pee on me and now you puke on me too, huh?” she said, folding the cloth up and depositing it in a covered pail by the changing table. “You really know how to make your guests feel welcome!” She sat Twilight up and addressed her face to face. “You are confirming my general impression that babies are pretty gross little creatures. What do you say to that?”
Twilight looked at her, then furrowed her brow and grimaced. “What?” Trixie asked. “Don’t tell me you’re trying to think of an answer!” Twilight remained silent, a look of intense concentration on her face, then she grunted and relaxed.
The smell hit her nostrils a few seconds later, and it was all Trixie could do to keep herself from running from the room. “Oh, my Celestia!” she exclaimed. “Was that in you already when you turned into a baby, or did you just magically convert the formula into pure evil?!” Twilight simply waved her legs and chortled at her. “Yeah, I’m sure this is the funniest thing ever to you, Twilight Sparkle!” Trixie grumbled.
Sighing, Trixie carried her to the changing table and began to clean her up. “So gross,” she said, breathing through her mouth. “Babies are gross, diapers are gross, and you are royally gross!” she muttered.
The change was carried out as quickly as she could, and Trixie settled back down on the chair with Twilight. As she wondered how much longer Starlight and Spike would take to find the cure, she saw Twilight yawn and snuggle closer to her.
“You ready to sleep, Golden Girl?” Trixie asked. “You sure you don’t have any other bodily fluids you’d like to release onto me?” The baby yawned again, then smiled up at her. Trixie regarded her for a moment, then leaned down closer.
“Wanna see something?” she asked. “It’ll help you go to sleep.” Twilight looked up at her and babbled back. “I’ll take that as a yes,” Trixie replied as her horn began to glow.
The image of stars appeared in the air above Twilight, who cooed and reached out for them. “Aren’t they pretty?” Trixie asked, gently rocking her. “I really like this illusion,” she continued. “I use it for when I tell stories. Now watch.”
An image of the moon appeared among the stars. Twilight’s eyes widened, and she smiled at the sight. “That’s the moon,” Trixie said. “And look who’s flying by, too!” The image of a dark coated alicorn appeared as well, flying among the stars and the moon. “There’s Princess Luna! You know her, right? She's here to fly you off to dreamland.” The baby lay transfixed by the sight, a smile on her face as her eyelids began to droop. "Well, look at that," Trixie murmured. "I finally impressed you with my magic."
Trixie continued to rock her gently. At last, Twilight fell asleep, and Trixie carefully levitated her into the crib and covered her with a blanket. She looked down at the sleeping baby princess, then leaned close.
“I’ll have you know,” she whispered, “that I’m never, ever going to let you forget about this.” She smiled at the thought. “I will never let you forget how you peed on me and puked on me and how I had to feed you from a bottle and change your nasty diaper.” She studied the sleeping baby, then leaned close again.
“But I won’t tell anyone else. I promise,” she whispered. “It’ll just be our little joke. No need to humiliate you in public. Because…” She paused. “Because I didn’t mind doing this, really. You’re actually a pretty nice little baby.” She softly kissed Twilight’s head. “Even if you are super gross sometimes.”
She stood up from the crib and turned around, a warm feeling inside that immediately dissipated when she saw Starlight standing silently behind her, a crooked smile on her face. Starlight opened her mouth to say something, but was cut off by Trixie putting a hoof to her lips and pointing at Twilight. “Don’t wake the baby!” she hissed, then retreated from the bedroom, her cheeks bright red.
Starlight followed her silently down the hall and down the stairs to the library. Trixie turned around and glared as her friend approached and stood there, not saying a word. Finally, Trixie could stand it no longer. “What?!” she exclaimed. “Just say whatever you’re going to say!”
Starlight simply leaned forward and kissed Trixie on the cheek, causing her to blush even more furiously.
“Wh-why did you do that?” Trixie stammered.
“Because,” Starlight replied softly, “sometimes you drop that act you’re always running and show me what a sweet, wonderful girl you really are.”
Trixie regarded her friend silently. “Just don’t let it get around,” she finally said. “I have a reputation as an arrogant idiot to maintain.”
Starlight leaned close. “Your secret’s safe with me,” she whispered, then laughed.
Trixie smiled. “As long as we’re clear on that,” she said. “Anyway, did you learn anything?”
Starlight rolled her eyes. “Yeah, I learned that potion-making is incredibly complicated and not something you learn in an afternoon. I think Spike’s our only hope now.”
“Did someone mention my name?” asked Spike as he flew in through an open window. The two unicorns rushed over to him.
“Spike! Did you learn anything?!” Starlight asked.
“Yeah,” Spike replied. “I learned that rhyming thing Zecora does is really annoying when you’re in a rush.”
“It’s like everyone here is using the same comedy routine,” Trixie muttered.
Starlight grabbed Spike by the shoulders. “Did you find out anything about fixing Twilight?!” she asked.
Spike shrugged off her hooves. “I have good news, bad news, and weird news,” he said. “Which do you want first?”
“The good news,” Starlight replied. “I’m desperate for some good news right about now.”
“Well,” Spike continued. “The good news is that Twilight’s going to be fine. Zecora said she’ll turn back to normal, none the worse for wear.”
Starlight and Trixie both let out audible sighs of relief. “Fantastic!” Starlight said. “And what’s the bad news?”
“The bad news is that it’ll take about four weeks,” Spike replied.
Starlight blinked both her eyes. “Four weeks?!” she exclaimed. She took a deep breath. “Okay, it’s not a disaster. We can handle running Twilight’s school for a few weeks while she’s a baby, I guess.” She looked pleadingly to Trixie. “Assuming the royal foalsitter is up for it. Please?”
Trixie smiled and tossed her mane. “The Great and Powerful Trixie stands ready to face any sort of baby-related grossness in this time of crisis.” Her eyes narrowed. “And she will, of course, be compensated handsomely for it.”
“Of course,” sighed Starlight, turning back to Spike. “So, we just have to take care of a baby alicorn for a few weeks, then?”
“Not exactly,” Spike replied. “There was the weird news too, remember?”
Starlight gulped. “Dare I ask what that is?”
“Well, Twilight isn’t going to stay a baby and just pop back to being an adult,” he explained. “Zecora says she’s going to kind of grow up. Really fast.”
“You mean, we’re going to have to raise Twilight back to adulthood? Over the next four weeks?” Starlight asked, her mouth going dry.
“Pretty much.”
Starlight looked over to Trixie, who looked over to Spike. All three looked up toward the bedroom where baby Twilight lay sleeping.
“Maybe we can contact her parents and just have them take her for a few weeks,” Starlight mused.
“Must we?” Trixie asked, turning back toward the others. The other two stared at her, then Starlight smiled.
“You want to take care of Twilight, don’t you?” she teased.
“Well, Trixie replied. “I’d hate to miss out on a nice foalsitting fee. Besides…” She looked back toward the bedroom. “She’s a good audience. And I have more to show her.”
Author's Note
So, a quickie that I'll end off here. Naturally, there's plenty of potential for more chapters if I ever decided to do it, but I pretty much accomplished what I set out to do here. Now that I flexed my writing muscles again, maybe I can finish that chapter of Rebuilding I've been working on.
