The Griffon Conspiracy

by The Reluctant Brony

Rating: everyone
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Trixie, Spike, Comedy, Gilda, Random, Adventure, Main 6
Length: 5837

Something seems to be amiss between a Griffon food distribution corporation and a changeling hive.

Ponies and griffons have always been on friendly terms in Equestria, but when Celestia hears rumors suggesting that changelings are funding griffon food processing plants throughout the nation, she sends somepony to investigate...

Published 2012-08-07 21:24:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-08-21 10:35:01 UTC

Chapter 1: The Letter

Chapter 1: The Letter

The sun shone through the window of the library. There had been a light shower the morning before, and the pegasi weren’t scheduling another storm for a couple days. It was the perfect day to spend some time outdoors and relax, and that’s exactly what a certain purple unicorn planned to do.

“Spike!” called the equine as she packed a couple books into her saddlebag, “have you finished making the sandwiches for the picnic yet?”

Spike’s voice rang from the kitchen, “Yup, we’ve got dandelion, barley lettuce and tomato, a few deli filler sandwiches, and an emerald sub for me! Now we just have to wait for my homemade cookies to come out of the oven,” he said, appearing at the doorway.

“Ok,” she said more to herself than to Spike, “books: check. Sandwiches: check. Cookies?” She looked through the doorway to see her assistant pull a steaming tray out of the oven, “Check. Well, I guess that’s everything. Applejack said she’d bring the fruit like she always does, Rarity has the dishes and blanket, Fluttershy is making the salad, Pinkie Pie has the punch and whatever desert she’s bringing this time, Rainbow Dash has the Frisbee, and we have the sandwiches and cookies. Ready to go?” she asked as Spike entered the main area of the library with a wagon full of food.

“Ready,” he replied as he made his way towards the exit. Twilight soon followed him out while closing and locking the door behind her.

-<-^->-

There is a rule in good writing involving descriptions of characters. Since the writer hasn’t described how any characters look, the reader technically should not know that Spike is a purple baby dragon with green hair-like scales on his head. The reader also shouldn’t know that Twilight is the purple unicorn mentioned in the first paragraph, since the name “Twilight” wasn’t mentioned until the end of the last scene. Twilight has a lavender coat, and a violet mane with a single pink stripe through it. Since this writing is fanfiction, the reader is expected to be familiar with the fandom, and thus know basic knowledge about the main characters and setting. This is similar to how if someone reads a sequel, they usually have read the previous book or books in the series, yet even in sequels, writers of good stories often repeat descriptions of characters and events in case the reader hasn’t read the previous works in the series. Writers that don’t repeat such information probably wrote poor descriptions of things in the previous novels, and therefore the reader wouldn’t be missing out on anything by skipping them. If you are a reader unfamiliar with My Little Pony, then the writer feels less of a fool for repeating common knowledge, especially when comparing himself to you, who somehow managed to find this story, and then decided that you would enjoy it without getting lost during the story even though you know nothing about the characters or setting. If you are such a person and wish to know exactly what Spike and Twilight look like, but don’t want to watch the show, then you can find out what they look like by watching the show.

-<-^->-

As Twilight and Spike walked through town, they failed to notice two silhouettes sitting in the shade at a table nearby: one appeared to be a griffon, and the other, a unicorn. The griffon, named Gilda, observed the pair as she munched on her sandwich she had ordered from the diner nearby. The eagle half of her body was a milky white while the lion half and wings were a light brown. “So, according to ‘HQ,’ the purple dweeb is supposedly on the list of possible threats to the organization's plans.”

The unicorn, who had a light blue coat and an even lighter blue mane, watched them disappear around the corner, “Which one?”

“The dragon, Trickster. Everyone knows how dangerous baby dragons can be, because it’s not like we’ve taken down a couple teenage dragons before,” the griffon replied sarcastically.

The unicorn glared, “Call Trixie ‘The Great and Powerful Trixie,’” she said as she flourished her hoof, “or ‘Trixie.’ No nicknames!” She slammed her hoof down on the table, “And how could a baby dragon possibly threaten the mission, or is he some sort of secret society leader with diamond dog henchmen?”

Gilda blinked once with a blank face that soon turned into a sneer, “Seriously? I was kidding, idiot. The unicorn’s the threat. Her name's Twilight Sparkle. She’s the star student of Princess Celestia, and is most likely going to receive a letter from her soon.”

“So… we’re going to capture her and bring her back to the main factory?”

Gilda rolled her eyes, “Sure, then we can get caught, lead the royal guard to HQ, and spend the rest of our life in prison.”

Trixie raised an eyebrow, “Trixie thinks she can come up with a better plan.”

“It’s called sarcasm, genius.”

“Trixie doesn’t care what it’s called, it sounds stupid.”

“That’s because it is!”

“Then why are we doing that?” Trixie questioned.

“We aren’t. It was a joke.”

“…Trixie didn’t find it funny.”

Gilda rubbed her face with her talon, which resulted in a sharp pain when she accidentally jabbed herself with a claw, “I don’t care. And stop talking in the third person!”

Trixie harrumphed as she turned away while crossing her hooves, “The Great and Powerful Trixie will maintain her image by staying in character. How she got stuck with an unskilled planner like you is beyond her.”

“How I got stuck with a dunce like you is beyond me,” Gilda grumbled.

They resumed with their lunch in an angry silence for a moment, until Trixie remembered something important that she didn’t know the answer to.

“What’s the plan again?”

-<-^->-

When Twilight arrived at the park, she saw that Rarity and Fluttershy were already there with their assigned picnic supplies of dishes, blanket, and tossed salad. There were also a bowl of punch and a giant chocolate cake slathered in vanilla frosting. Huh, that’s funny, she thought to herself. I thought Pinkie Pie was bringing tho-

“HI TWILIGHT!”

“Gah!”

Pinkie Pie abruptly popped up out of nowhere right in front of Twilight, darted to the wagon Spike was pulling, and started rummaging through it.

“WhatdidyoubringforlunchTwi?OohIloveBalognaandmustardsandwichesMmmsomeofspike'scookiestootheselookreallygreaterrificwhyareyoumovingsoslowlyTwi?WaitsoisRarityandFluttershy!ThisisreallyweirdliketheonetimeI…”

“Hi Twilight,” greeted Applejack, who had just trotted up with a bag filled to the top with fruit. “By the way I sorta accidentally introduced ‘er to caffeinated coffee for the first time this mornin’ if you didn’t notice…”

“You what?” exclaimed a surprised Twilight, “She’s taking it better than I would have thought. I mean, I would have expected her to explode on consumption, but what were you thinking giving her coffee?”

“OhI’vehadcoffeebeforeTwi,” Pinkie shot back over to Twilight and Applejack, “It’sjustthatthismorningApplejackcameovertohelpmemakeabunchofcakeandstuffandIaskedhertostartthecoffee,Imeanwhodoesn’tlikecoffeeright?Especiallyinthemorningandsheusedthecoffeebeansthatthecakesdon’tletmeusebecausetheysaiditwascaffeinatedbutshedidn’tknowthatandthecakesweren’ttherebecausetheyhadanearlymorningdeliveryoffivedosendonutsthey’renotassugarygoodasPonyJoe’sbutstillprettygoodandthenshegavemesomeofthecoffeeitwasthebestIeverhadandthenIstartedfeelingsortafunnyand…”

“...What?” Twilight tried to concentrate to sort through the myriad information she had just been given, and failed.

“Ah accidentally made her coffee that was caffeinated,” Applejack explained, “But in my defense, ah thought she drank caffeine, and that that was why she's so wild all the time. At least she’s not as bad as she was earlier. Right after s drank it, she ran straight from Sugar Cube Corner all the way ta Sweet Apple Acres an’ round Ponyville twice. It was crazy!”

“Oh, so that’s what woke me up at the absurd hour of nine in the morning,” spoke a new, slightly raspy voice. The five mares and dragon turned to see a blue pegasus who had just flown up to them.

“Rainbow Dash! Late again I see,” chided Rarity from her spot on the picnic blanket.

“Fashionably late, Rarity. It’s totally unradical to be on time. I mean, just look at Twilight!” Rainbow Dash pointed a hoof at said unicorn, who responded with a deadpan, “But anyway, next time you make coffee, you should brew it with Red Minotaur instead of water and then you might actually be a challenge for me on the race track.”

Pinkie looked confused, “What’s Red Minotaur?”

“It’s a brand of energy dr-”

Applejack stuck her hoof in Rainbow Dash’s mouth, “It’s nothing! Nothing important!” And the last thing that mare needs, she added in her head.

For a brief moment, the pink earth pony’s face showed a combination of emotions ranging from suspicion to anger before reverting to an enormous smile, “Okiedokielokie!”

The 6 mares and dragon enjoyed their lunch, and afterwards Rainbow Dash pulled out her Frisbee. Spike, Applejack and Pinkie Pie went to join her while Fluttershy and Rarity stayed on the blanket and talked. Twilight decided to sit under a large oak tree and read one of her books.

“Hef Shpike, Cafch!” called Rainbow Dash as she snapped her head around to launch the Frisbee.

“I got it, I got it!” shouted Spike as he ran back to catch the disc. Suddenly he stopped as he felt a familiar burning sensation in his gut.

Twilight looked up from her book to see Spike clutching his stomach like he was going to be sick. She was used to the unique form of mail delivery by now, and trotted over to see what the princess had to say. But when she reached Spike, something was wrong. He still hadn’t belched the letter out yet.

“You ok, Spike?” called Rainbow Dash.

“Just-mmf let me-holmf get this-rmf what’s going on?” Spike cried out as he remained caught in the delivery process, “It’s like the letter got stuck on the way here, but that’s impossible!”

Spike continued to clutch his stomach in pain while Twilight and Rainbow Dash stood by, unsure of what to do.

-<-^->-

Gilda and Trixie watched in the shadows of the nearby forest as the seven started their picnic. Gilda recognized her old friend Rainbow Dash and that jerk Pink…something.

“Ok, so HQ says that the princess just got her spy’s information, and should be sending them the letter soon, and when she does, you have to intercept it before it reaches them. Got it?”

“The Great and Powerful Trixie has it,” replied Trixie as she started telepathically probing the complex web of magical ley lines, searching for the one that the letter would soon travel on to reach the dragon. She found the line and continued to check it for about ten minutes, until a thought crossed her mind. “By the way, how is this going to help prevent the unicorn from investigating again?”

“It doesn’t. Investigation is inevitable. We’re just going to see if we can find out how much the princess knows, and strategize from that information.”

“But what if she suspects that somepony might do what we’re doing right now?

Gilda smirked, “If she did then she’d have to be smart, patient, and endurant. Haven’t you studied ley line science like this?”

Trixie frowned, “Trixie probably has, but Trixie didn’t. She just knows how to use the spell.”

Gilda groaned, “Ugh. Ok, so most of the ley lines are watched by unicorn guards, right?” Trixie nodded. “But the line you’re on isn’t monitored because it was encoded, and the hard part was for you to hack in and steal the password, so according to magic theory, the only way she could really find us is if she spent at least half an hour probing the line while using a ridiculously complex enchantment to root out the cloaking spell you added to your probing spell. You did remember the cloaking spell, right?”

Trixie paled slightly, “…No.”

Gilda looked horrified, “Shoot! Terminate the spell! Cancel it and start it again with the cloaking spell!”

Just when Trixie started to mentally withdraw from the jumble of ley lines, she saw something enter the line she was watching, “Oh no!” She hastily started the spell again, abandoning the idea of cloaking it since it no longer mattered, and caught the scroll right as it was about to reach the purple dragon. “Got it!”

Gilda grinned as she watched the letter pop into existence, and carefully opened it so as not to make it appear to have been intercepted and resealed, and eagerly scanned the contents. As she read, however, her smile sagged into a frown of dissatisfaction, which then turned to a scowl.

“Toying with me huh?” she growled, “Two can play at that game.”

She rewrapped the scroll slower than necessary, and after Trixie sent it to its original intended recipient, they retreated into the forest.

-<-^->-

Everypony had now gathered around Spike with looks of concern on their faces. Spike had now curled up on the ground waiting for his nausea to be relieved by the delivery.

“Are you alright Spikey?” asked a worried Rarity, “Is there anything we can do to relieve you of your illness?”

“Maybe I could…um, y’know, help…cause I’m good at taking care of animals…If that’s ok…Oh! N-not that I think of you as a non-sentient creature. I just want to…Nevermind,” squeaked Fluttershy.

Twilight examined him as he moaned from his discomfort, “I don’t understand. This has never happened before!”

“Maybe we should kick it out of him!” suggested Rainbow Dash, who darted forward only to have her tail pulled back by Applejack.

“Ugh…Make it stop! Wait, I think this might be the real thing!” Spike stood up and got ready to burp out the letter, only to stand there awkwardly while nothing happened.

“…Rats, I thought that was it for real that t-BELCH”

The stubborn parchment finally came out with the edges singed from an accompanying flame much larger than usual.

“Finally!” shouted Rainbow Dash, “That took like forever!”

Twilight opened the letter and read out loud,

“My dear student Twilight Sparkle,

Recently, I ordered to have somepony investigate rumors suggesting that a griffon corporation had made a deal with the changeling empire. I will have to explain the situation with you face to face because somepony is hacking the ley lines in order to intercept this letter. They are remarkable incompetent, as they forgot to use a cloaking spell which I surely wouldn’t have bothered to search for, and will probably intercept this letter at the last moment, causing Spike to suffer slight nausea until the letter is sent back on track. I hope to see you and your friends in Canterlot this Friday.

Sincerely,
Princess Celestia.

P.S. To whoever is eavesdropping: Nice Try!"

-<-^->-

If you are a clueless reader somehow hopelessly lost on the internet, then the most you know about Twilight’s friends is what the writer told you, which is that Rainbow Dash is blue. You would also make the assumption that Pinkie Pie is pink. Rainbow Dash is in fact cyan, with a ruffled rainbow mane and a short temper. Pinkie Pie has a bubble gum pink coat and a curly, darker pink mane. Applejack is a well-toned orange earth pony with a habit of bending the truth to the point of breaking and a golden mane tied into a ponytail. Rarity is a dazzling white unicorn with a perfectly kept, ugly, wavy mane. Fluttershy is a yellow pegasus with a free flowing light pink mane and a painfully annoying personality. What’s this, a message from the writer? “I didn't hire you to add your opinions or…” HA HA HA! What will you do about it? Fine, I’ll humor you for now, no matter how awful your writing may be, but one of these times, I’m going to ad lib on the history of the phrase “Trollestia.” “The writer would like you to know at this time that the narrator is not the writer, and they are in fact two separate beings.” How redundant. “The narrator’s name is-” ...No, I refuse to reveal myself in the first chapter. Where’s the fun in that? “The readers can probably guess from your giveaways.” Maybe, but they don’t know for sure, now do they? “The writer has nothing else to say and is ending the chapter.” Oh good! I get to improvise. This has been “The Griffon Conspiracy.” Tune in next time for Chapter 2: “The Meeting with Trollestia!” Good day or good night!

I should probably practice that…

Chapter 2: The Meeting...

Chapter 2: The Meeting...(with Trollestia)

You thought I was joking, didn’t you? Oh, the writer wants me to start the chapter.

-<-^->-

Gilda walked out of an alleyway, looking up at the night sky over Canterlot. It was the new moon, so the city was even darker than usual. The griffon stopped to admire the constellations and nebulae for a few moments while she waited for her companion to finish packing their supplies. Due to Trixie forgetting the cloaking spell, they failed in their first attempt to gather information about how much their enemy knew, but this time Gilda would make sure their plan went off without a hitch. It’s going to be a fun night breaking into the castle, she mused as the blue unicorn appeared from the alleyway, carrying a bag.

“Are you ready to fly, Trixter?”

The pony seemed unusually nervous. “Trixie is ready, just don’t drop her.”

Gilda smirked at the familiar reaction from the mare. “I’ll try not to so long as you don’t scream.”

She was going to enjoy giving the moron the ride of her life after the little slip-up with the letter. That one mishap had cost Gilda a couple days of relaxation. She noticed Trixie flinch as she scooped the mare up and cradled her awkwardly, trying to hold her like a baby or perhaps a piece of furniture. An idea suddenly entered her head, and she grinned mischievously.

“I’ll go on three so you’re more prepared, ok?” Trixie nodded. “Ok. One…Two!”

Gilda suddenly flew off the ground, leaving a small whirlwind far behind. As they flew, she looked down at her cargo to see Trixie expressing emotions ranging from extreme terror to pure hatred. While Trixie silently screamed, Gilda guffawed in her head at the reaction she had gotten. A few seconds later, they landed, unseen by the night guards, on the roof above the Princess’ throne room.

Gilda did her best to muffle her laughter so the guards wouldn’t hear, but more or less failed. Fortunately, none where in the area. Finally, the griffon calmed down. “Hehe! That was priceless. Enjoy the flight?” Trixie was hyperventilating and looked like she was about ready to pass out from her experience, but then twisted her face into a scowl so furious it would have made Pinkie Pie think twice before trying to get her to smile. If Gilda was a more timid griffon, she would have dropped her grin right when she saw Trixie’s expression, but under the circumstances, it made her start laughing again, though she was more successful at suppressing it this time.

“Don’t. Do that. Ever. Again!” Trixie hissed as loudly as she could.

“Oh I’m sorry, you don’t like flying?” The griffon calmed down again, but snickered before getting a hard punch in the shoulder from the mare.

“Now let’s get this over with before somepony does anything else she regrets.”

“You’re greatly mistaken if you think I would regret something that priceless. Talon me the bag.” Trixie begrudgingly flung it over to her with telekinesis. “Hey, careful. You might damage the bugs.”

Trixie looked taken aback. “Trixie has perfect aim, but she supposes that despite that, it was careless of her to forget you could have dropped it.”

“Whatever,” Gilda muttered as she made sure Trixie hadn’t forgotten to pack anything. Small wireless microphone bug things…radio thing we’ll use to listen in on…Purple coat and mane dye… “Ok, so Celestia will be meeting with Sparkles tomorrow, and undoubtedly it’ll be in the main chamber. It’s eleven thirty right now, so in thirty minutes, the only one in there will be Luna. She generally holds meetings from nine to twelve and four to six this time of year, so we have plenty of time to slip in through here,” she pointed to a section of stained glass, glowing by the light coming from the chamber below, “plant the microphones, and do some other things… And then get out.”

Trixie looked unconvinced at the plan, “And how do we get past the Princess of the Night? Trixie could easily slip by her, but you don’t have such talent matching up to levels of The Great and Powerful Trixie.”

Gilda deadpanned at Trixie’s remark but ignored the urge to respond with a good comeback, and continued, “It’s not that hard really. All we have to do is wait for her to start her addictive habit, and we can sneak by her easily. In fact…” Gilda thought for a moment, “I don’t need your help. Considering I have wings and you don’t, you should just stay up here, especially after your blunder from last time.”

Trixie opened her mouth to make a retort, but couldn’t think of a good one and decided to ask another question.

“How do we communicate once you’re inside?”

Gilda pulled the magic powered radio system out of the bag and handed it to her. “Here, I’ll use one of the bugs and you can listen in.”

“What should Trixie do if you screw up?”

“I won’t,” Gilda answered confidently.

“If you do, Trixie is teleporting back to the alleyway.”

“Fine, but you won’t have to.”

Trixie rolled her eyes. “Trixie will believe that when she sees it. Now we wait?”

“Now we wait.”

The pair sat on the roof a few seconds.

“Gilda, how much longer?”

-<-^->-

Luna was wide awake after her nap from earlier that evening. The last pony from a boring meeting about the night watch left a few minutes ago and she was alone in the darkened throne room, with nopony to bother her and her activities questionable of a hardworking, responsible princess that had a rather large stack of paperwork to go through. The alicorn shifted her eyes left and right, probing for any possible eavesdroppers, and slowly pulled out a small rectangular device labeled “Pon3DS.” She flipped the device open to reveal the title screen of “The Legend of Epona Pon3D.”

“Ah, Neightendo. How thou hast developed since the days of the classic NEIGHS,” she said to herself as she plugged in her earbuds.

A few mystical sound effects later, she was engrossed in completing the notoriously long Honesty Temple, and only stopped to plug her charger into the wall opposite from where the shadow of a griffon had appeared. Gilda started slowly making her way around the room planting bugs along the walls.

What luck! She thought as she placed another one, Luna’s on the dungeon that’s considered the most challenging and absorbing. She crept towards the next wall. Although, I didn’t enjoy it as much as the Temple of Loyalty. There was always something about that one that just rolled with my style. I wonder what... She pondered as she started placing microphones on the third wall. Dunno. Oh well, doesn’t matter… I still can’t believe my luck! This is even easier than I thought it wou-

One of her talons tripped over the wire charging the Pon3DS, wrenching the device out of the alicorn’s telekinetic grip. Time seemed to slow down as Gilda and Luna both watched in horror as the Pon3DS flew from the moon princess’s throne, and shattered on the marble flooring below.

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!”

Luna’s eyes teared up as she clutched the broken pieces of her beloved possession in her hooves, then turned to see the perpetrator attempting to slip away from the scene of the crime.

“HALT!” she shouted in her Cantelot voice.

Gilda stopped.

“WHAT HAST THOU TO SAY FOR DESTROYING OUR WONDERFUL SOURCE OF HAPPINESS?!?!”

The griffon chuckled nervously, “I was just, uh, doing some stuff and I…uh…I gotta go.”

Gilda bolted for the door.

Luna’s face suggested she was repressing a strong desire to call down lightning and evaporate the griffon on the spot. “GUARDS!”

On cue, the doors opened to reveal four night guards: Two unicorns, and two bat pegasi. Perfect timing. Gilda smiled as she flew towards the top part of the impractically tall exit. The guards observed her line of flight, and the unicorns started to telekinetically close the massive doors they had just come through, while the pegasi flew up quickly to intercept her. Gilda anticipated this, however, and slowed down to drop several feet suddenly, causing the bat guards to overshoot. The unicorns noticed the spectacle and worked harder to close the doors, but it was too late and Gilda slipped through at the last moment.

Phew, now to relax a minute… Gilda turned to see a pair of Earth pony guards stare at her for a moment, before each drew his sword out with his mouth. …or not. Gilda shrugged, and dodged the first guard’s attack while pulling his sword from his teeth and kicking him into a wall, creating a large hole. She proceeded to duel with the second guard until she managed to make him lose his grip on his sword, causing it to fly to the side of the room. Gilda swiftly hit his helmet with her sword hard enough to knock him out. She turned around to see the first, who had recovered and was running towards her. The griffon knocked him out with precision as well.

Ok, now to… Gilda turned around to see that the guards had come through the throne room doors again, and the raging princess was flying towards her now, flanked by the two bat pony guards. “Oh come on!” she shouted as she fled down the hallway. Luna and the guards followed suit. They started to gain.

“Think of something soon, Gilda,” she mumbled anxiously to herself as she turned down another hallway. “Aha!” She spotted an open door on the right side of the hall, and darted in. Shortly after, she heard the whoosh of the passing alicorn and guards.

Gilda clutched her chest and breathed heavily. Now that she could relax a moment, Gilda examined her surroundings to find that she was in the royal bathroom and shower. Her beak twisted into a mischievous smile. Jackpot!

-<-^->-

Celestia slept peacefully on her king size bed. It was shortly past midnight and she was enjoying the privilege of finishing her royal duties earlier than the typical one-thirty A.M. end of work time. Tomorrow, she would be well rested for her meeting with Twilight and her friends. As the princess sighed contently, her ear pricked up at a far off noise. She thought she heard her sister shouting angrily in the royal Canterlot voice. Sounds like somepony’s in trouble. I wonder who… She heard her sister yell again. Ooh, some klutz broke her Pon3DS. That has to be harsh on both her and whoever it was that was unfortunate enough to grieve her. Celestia thought back to the number of times she had caught her sister playing. That device was practically glued to her. Oh well, I’ll surely hear about it in the morning… She started to dose off again, but just when she was about to fall asleep, a thought crossed her mind. She’s been playing a lot of Legend of Epona recently, and my file’s on that copy as well. I only have two of those hundred parasprites left to kill before I get the huge reward from the last cursed unsung. If the cartridge was damaged as well…No, she was probably playing something else... Celestia twisted around in her bed, trying to fall asleep again, but the thought kept pestering her. Oh, who am I kidding? She’s been obsessed with that game for the past week! Her brain kept switching back and forth between trying to satisfy her desire to stay in bed and her paranoia about the game. “…I can’t take it anymore!” She finally got up since she clearly wasn’t going to get any sleep until she found out the game’s fate for certain.

As she sleepily made her way out of the bedroom, she heard a loud commotion coming from somewhere farther off. What in Equestria is she doing to that poor pony? She trotted down a couple hallways towards the ruckus, and started to turn another corner when her eyes widened at the sight of three dark shapes barreling towards her. With no time to react, a conceivable outcome became reality.

Crash!

Celestia was tossed into the wall and landed on the floor with a familiar, dark blue mare. Two bat ponies landed nearby “Are you all right your highnesses?” asked one in a worried tone.

“*Ow*. Yes,” said Celestia, standing up and wincing as she brought a hoof to her muzzle, feeling a sticky liquid oozing from her nostril, “but what exactly were you doing, Luna?” She asked, offering a hoof to her sister, who was still sprawled on the ground.

“Searching for an intruder, dear sister. I was…working on…something and somepony dropped down from the ceiling, and was snooping around the main chamber and then… and we chased them, but they seem to have gotten away and are hiding somewhere in the castle.”

Celestia thought for a moment. “No, they would be gone by now. We should check to make sure they didn’t damage anything. Gaurds, you may return to your posts.” The two bat pegasi bowed and marched down a hallway. The alicorns took a different path towards the throne room. Celestia reflected on something her sister had said. “But what was this…something that you were doing?”

“Umm…Just a small amount of “Legend of Epona.” Luna smiled nervously.

Celestia slyly smiled back. “Surely you have some paperwork involving the night watch, don’t you?”

“I’ve completed it…mostly,” Luna added more quietly.

Celestia narrowed her eyes. “How much do you have left?”

“Not much. I’m almost done.” Luna hastily added.

The sun princess dropped her analyzing stare. “We’ll see about that after we check to see if the intruders did anything to the throne room.” They soon arrived at the entryway and went in.

The elder sister spotted the shattered remains of a hoof held game system. “Hmm, no way of fixing it. You’ll have to wait to get a new one, I’m afraid.” Celestia checked inside of it and breathed a sigh of relief when she saw the game intact. She quickly stowed the cartridge away.

“When can I get a replacement?”

The princess looked around at her sister. “When you’ve finally caught up in all your work.” The result, unsurprisingly, was a great deal of grumbling from the latter.

Celestia spotted something on the wall, and went over to investigate. “Hmm. Well, apparently, unless their objective was to ‘destroy your wonderful source of happiness,’ they don’t appear to have completed it. Get back to your homework. I’m going to bed.”

-<-^->-

It was nine in the morning. Trixie and Gilda were eating a breakfast of fried eggs and toast in their Canterlot Inn suite. The two of them were listening in on the princess’s tax records with their radio, or at least, Gilda was listening and waiting for Celestia’s meeting with Twilight Sparkle while Trixie was snoring with her face against her plate. Ever since the incident last night, she hadn’t let the griffon live the fluke down; especially after Gilda had taunted her so much about forgetting the cloaking spell. At least she was able to accomplish what she had intended to do, unlike Trixie. Gilda looked over at the mare, who was still sleeping peacefully in her seat and on the table.

“…Trixie.”

“…zzzzz…”

“Trixie,” Gilda repeated a little louder.

Still no response.

Gilda leaned in over the table with her mouth right next to the pony’s ear.

“….TRIXIE!”

“SnzzWha!” The mare shot bolt upright while jerking her hoof out, catching Gilda in the beak.

“Ow! Watch it!”

Trixie would have been angry about being woken up so rudely, but she merely yawned. “Well, excuse Trixie if she has outstanding reflexes.”

The griffon grumbled. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you hit me on purpose.”

“Well, if you didn’t know any better, you’d be-”

“Twilight Sparkle, it’s good to see you again.”

“Ooh! Quiet,” Gilda shushed, “we need to pay attention.”

“Recently, I ordered a spy to investigate recent actions of the changeling empire, as the changelings’ activities have been strange of late. The information uncovered suggests that the changelings are working with the Griffon Kingdom to attack and invade Equestria.”

The two looked up at each other for a moment, before bursting out laughing.

Gilda wiped a tear from eye “HA HA! What information they got gave them that idea? Where did they even get the notion of the Griffon Kingdom’s affiliation from?”

Trixie was unexpectedly giggling like Pinkie Pie, albeit with her own voice. “Somepony must have really screwed up the records at the changeling hive. Rebel terrorist ponies would be more plausible than declaring all-out war!” She became serious for a moment to ponder. “Although rebel ponies aren’t too fa-” Trixie stopped when she realized that the princess was still talking.

“…So the war tactics aren’t very relevant to this meeting. What I need you and your friends to do is gather as much information from the Griffon Food Processing Corporation about changeling numbers and strategies by pretending to be inspecting the facility. Twilight, you can learn what you need to about the proper standards from this book. Somehow that company is involved, but how it fits in isn’t clear. We will then spend the next few weeks planning our defense strategy…This meeting is over.”

“…Well, that’s unbelievable,” Gilda commented. “How the princess misunderstood every single fact, and assumed that GFP has a changeling census is beyond me, although I suppose if the information they stole just mentioned changelings and GFP co. as well as various vaguely worded notes, she could somehow assume that GFP would have the right information, but it’s a long shot at best. Dang, Celestia’s an idiot.”

Trixie yawned. “Well, if that’s that, Trixie is going back to bed. Wake her up when we leave this afternoon.”

“Fine, go get your beauty sleep. You’d be too ugly to look at otherwise!” Gilda called after her.

“The Great and Powerful Trixie will pretend she didn’t hear that.” The mare’s voice called back. Gilda smirked as she pressed a button on the radio device. Shortly after, there was a short electric flash of light, and a group of small microphones landed neatly on the table.

…Less than a mile away in the throne room at the royal palace, Princess Celestia had been smiling ever since she saw a series of tiny flashes coming from the walls. Two thoughts played in her mind. The first involved her mentally laughing at whoever was gullible enough to believe her fake plans of action, and the second was a mental note to give the two guards on duty a raise, as they had made no movements whatsoever during her apparently insane speech to herself.