Why Sugarcube Corner No Longer Sells Muffins

by DougtheLoremaster

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Random, Derpy Hooves, Princess Celestia, Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 1050

Twilight needs to save the world. Celestia commands Twilight to do just that. Twight is eating muffins made by Derpy. Celestia should have known better.

Every time Twilight sits down for breakfast lately, the world needs saving. All she wants is to eat her breakfast just once in peace. At Sugarcube Corners, Twilight orders a freshly baked, blueberry muffin from a certain gray mare with a talent for making muffins. When Celestia appears to send Twilight to save the world, she encounters a small hiccup in that plan.
You see, Twilight is eating muffins. The end of the world can wait.

Published 2019-03-26 22:00:01 UTC
Last updated 2019-03-26 22:00:01 UTC

Chapter 1

"Muffin?"

Twilight Sparkle, the Alicorn Princess of Friendship, stood before a gray pegasus mare at Sugarcube Corners. Normally a mailmare, Derpy had been asked by Pinkie to help her add 'Pizzazz' to the menu to bring in customers. In Ponyville, nopony could bake a muffin like Derpy. the breakfast lovers had flocked to the small shop in order to get their hooves on some of her delicious muffins. It wasn't just ponies either. Dragons, Griffons, once word got out that Derpy was serving breakfast every creature wanted to get their paws or claws on them.

"Muffin?"

Once more, Depry asked the question, causing Twilight to shake her head as if she had been in a trance. "Oh sweet Celesetia, I'm sorry Derpy, I was just smelling the delicious aroma of your muffins."

Derpy smiled happily, she liked when ponies complimented her muffins. That smile though soon turned to a frown as Twilight continued sounding almost distressed. "I would truly love one of your muffins, but I'm a bit hesitant to order one."

Derpy's frown became a glare of anger. Were her muffins not good enough? Just how picky was this princess? Twilight noticed her glare and spoke hurriedly, in order to clear up the misunderstanding. "It's not anything you've done. It's just that everytime I sit down lately to enjoy a breakfast from the heart, I am interrupted by some end of the world emergency!"

Derpy's eyes softened as she listened to Twilight explain the most recent occurrence.

***

Sitting at Applejack's table, Twilight waited hungrily. Eagerly she awaited the treat for the past week. "Here ya go Twi!"
Applejack carefully placed a stack of six, fluffy, pancakes dripping with fresh maple syrup. "Mah specialty. Melt-in-your-mouth-hot-off-the-griddle-made-from-scratch apple pancakes."

Twilight raised the fork on her right using her magic and slowly sliced off a piece dripping with bright amber. The smell tantalized her nostrils, she could tell she was going to love this. just as she was about to take that first bite though, with the morsel mere centimeters from her open muzzle, Celestia appeared. Having teleported to the house she spoke in a rushed manner of urgency. "No time to eat! You have to save Equestria!"

***

Twilight spread her hooves as she concluded. "And so I was teleported to combat and afterwards when i went back to eat my food, I found out Granny Smith had eaten the whole thing. It was heartbreaking. And it wasn't the first time."

Derpy nodded and stroked her chin with her left fore hoof, deep in thought. She then smiled, she had a way to fix everything. Pointing at the aromatic blueberry muffin on the counter, Derpy spoke in a sage voice. "Muffin time."
Twilight looked confused. "Derpy I don't understand. What do you mean muffin time?"

Derpy picked up the muffin and passed it to Twilight on a plate and pointed at a nearby empty table. Her voice was calm and offered no room for debate. "Muffin time."

"O-okay, uh do I owe you anything?"

Derpy shook her head and produced two bits which she placed in the register.She simply repeated her words once more, pointing at the table, yet again. "Muffin time."

Twilight expressed her gratitude and made her way to the table in question. "Thank you Derpy."

Sitting down she eagerly picked up the warm, moist blueberry muffin and opened her mouth when a bright flash of light appeared. Celestia, Royal Princess of the Sun stood beside her and as Twilight sat with her muffin just millimeters from her first bite, Celestia spoke. "Twiligh-"

Celestia found a gray hoof firmly pressed against her muzzle as the gray pegasus before her shook her head and pointed at the muffin in Twilight's hooves. Her voice was firm. "Muffin time."

Celestia shook her muzzle free of the hoof and glared at Derpy. "What do you think you are doing?"

Derpy calmly shook her head and spoke the same two words. "Muffin time."

Celestia reached for the muffin and found her hoove grabbed by Derpy. Once again Derpy said the same two words, this time more forceful. "Muffin. Time."

Twilight took a bite of the muffin and sat there munching happily on her breakfast as Celestia glared at Derpy. "The end of the world is nigh and you are worried about eating muffins, have you lost your mind?"

Derpy calmly pulled on Celestia's hoof indicating she should follow. Celestia was not amused. "I do not have time for this! Ponyville and all of Equestria will be destroyed if we do not do anything!"

Derpy did not stop tugging on the hoof and so Celestia followed the mare over to the counter. "Fine hurry up! What is it? What do you want?"

Reaching below the counter, Depry pulled out a Banana Nut Muffin. Her voice was joyful as she offered it to Celestia. "Muffin time!"

Celestia stared in disbelief at the gray mare. "We do not have time for-"

Derpy smiled and passed her the muffin. "Free of charge."

Celestia's eyes went wide as she stood there, staring at the odd mare.

***

Sipping a cup of rosemary tea, Celestia took another bite of the Banana Nut muffin. She sounded rather pleased. "Ohhhh yes! I can see why you wanted me to try this. These muffins are amazing!"

As Celestia swallowed her bite, Twilight stared at her. "What was it you needed from me?"

Celestia raised a hoof to her chin in thought for a few moments. Shrugging she said, "I forgot. Well whatever it was it couldn't possibly be more important than these muffins, I am sure."

Twilight nodded happily and raised a hoof. "Derpy can we have six more over here, please?"

Depry brought over a fresh tray of warm muffins and smiled at how much the princesses loved her muffins.

***

Outside the small shop, Buildings had been reduced to rubble. The screams of frightened ponies could be heard and the sirens from the Wonderbolts dispatched to defend the area blared. Across the landscape forests had been turned to ash, and rivers had been emptied of their water. Mountains had been leveled as far as the eye could see.

***

Sitting in the booth, completely unaware, Celestia and Twilight picked out a new muffin apiece. Laughing, Twilight spoke."For sure!"