Hurt

by Qibli2

Rating: teen
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Sad, Suicide / Self Harm, Slice of Life, Death, Twilight Sparkle
Length: 1175

Twilight Sparkle will live forever, but her friends won’t. She will not take this well.

(Inspired by Hurt, specifically the meaning that goes through your mind when listening to the Johnny Cash version. Also inspired in part by Remembrance)

They told her she would live forever, she didn’t believe them. Sure enough, a hundred years later, she sits all alone without her friends. She remembers them longingly, and regrets what conspired in her lifetime.

Twilight Sparkle sits alone, and grows ever sadder.

(Written in the first person)

Published 2019-03-29 22:20:01 UTC
Last updated 2019-03-29 22:20:01 UTC

I Hurt

When they said,”Twilight Sparkle, you’ll live forever.” I didn’t believe them. Not only is it completely illogical, and impossible, but I didn’t want to face what would happen when my friends died and I still didn’t.

Well, it’s been a century, and it certainly appears I’m living forever. I remember all my friends fondly, and how they helped me become the Princess of Friendship. I didn’t know the toll it would take.

Sure, I still have Spike, but he grew a little too big to keep my castle tidy. I had to let him go.

Now, I sit alone in my castle, around the round table. I occasionally look at the memories hung, they always bring me pain. My friends aren’t coming back, and that’s the only thing I focus on, the only thing that matters. It’s not as fun without Pinkie’s impossible shenanigans and constant parties, or Applejack’s can-do spirit and honesty, or Rainbow Dash’s constant boasting that I can’t help but to love.

There I go again, thinking of all the things from the past. I must remember that those thoughts are what make me so sad, but I never do.

I currently sit at the Cutie Map, which hasn’t called anyone since I had to leave Spike behind. Alone in my one chair, trying to find out if there’s any way to get my original adventures back.

The memories dangle over me, and I feel pain just looking at them, the sentimental value is what keeps me from destroying those things.

I was once an educated pony, one they looked up to. Now, all I do is sit around the castle and mope, cry of friends long gone, everything goes away in the end. The last time I taught at the school was an eternity ago, therefore I hadn’t learned much more since my last friend died.

I wanted to offer somepony the castle, but without Spike to upkeep it and it being too large for me to hit all in one day, it had fallen into a state of disrepair. I also couldn’t just give it away, as the building codes are frankly outdated and the entire castle would need a redo.

I had let down everypony who believed in me, I made them hurt. Not that they were around to witness my incredible broken bird attitude. Everypony except the alicorns were gone, and I didn’t even get into much conversation with them any ore.

I take a seat in my crystal chair and hang my head in shame. The crown I bore as the Princess of Friendship felt incredibly heavy and painful now. This chair was a momento of all the excuses I’d made to not go outside. I levitate a book from my library and attempt to read it.

Few books were still intact from 80 years ago, when I got the castle. The few books that were, I’d read several times in my recent years of solitude, they had started to bore me. I never thought I would be bored by a book until I’d read them all.

Even with the book trying to divert my attention, I can’t keep my mind off of my friends, my dead friends. I forcefully close the book and drop it on the ground beside me, lowering my head with a groan.

My thoughts are my worst enemies, they overwhelm me. The worst part is, I wanted to remember my friends, to keep my mind on them. I couldn’t repair these broken thoughts, and even if I did, they’d return every time I look up at the memories. Even the Cutie Map was at this point, a thing of pain. That came with the castle, so I couldn’t destroy it.

The stains of time had worn me down. Ironically, the thing that was supposed to age, my body, hadn't aged a day. I have studied the effects of age, and psychical limitation was among them. However, I was still as spry as I was when becoming an alicorn.

The stains of time had tried to make me forget, but I will always remember my friends. Fluttershy, who could never hurt a soul, Rarity, who despite her occasional greediness was generous, and Starlight Glimmer, who was always ready to prove herself.

The memories of my friends would never fade, and that made me depressed. I wanted to find some spell to bring them back to life, but as far as I have researched, there wasn’t. Death just had to happen.

I wonder how Celestia, Luna, and Cadence had carried on when their loved ones died. I wouldn’t know if they were still as happy after my friends did, but they were fine when my friends were alive. I felt horrible that I had to go on living while my friends couldn’t.

My friends were off to Celestia-knows-where, I didn’t know if you survived after death. They were somepony else, I was still here feeling sad, alone, and broken.

I start musing what happened to me, how all the happiness went away. What had I become? A hermit who did nothing but mope and read all day? At least I was educated, as I always wanted, but the education was all the same material. At least my school had become successful, enough so that I could retire and live the rest of my days without having to teach.

Unfortunately, there was no reast of my days, I wasn’t going to die of natural causes. Any new friends would just crash and burn like my old ones, everypony goes away in the end.

My last years in solitude have done nothing to help my mental state, I was just as broken as the day I retreated, perhaps even more so.

If I had a chance to redo life, I would happily refuse the gift Celestia gave me, life as an alicorn. I would stay a unicorn so that I could learn more and die with my friends.

However, I couldn’t redo life, and I faced the hard truth. All my time alone in this castle hadn’t only ruined my relationships with the Ponyvillians, I had ruined my relationships with everypony.

I had even let Celestia, Luna, and Cadence, ponies who didn’t have a mean bone I’d observed in their bodies, down. I was the one making them hurt.

Upon this realization, I found the petrification spell still left over in one of my books. I overlooked it, having forgotten it after Rockhoof had requested it, all those years ago.

I memorized it. It was time to write Celestia one last letter.

Author's Note

That ending is exactly what you think it is.

Also, I am so hung up on depression recently, I have no clue why.

I know Twilight is OOC, but this was the best pony I could think of for this story. I never claimed to be a good writer :twilightsheepish:.

Listen to the Johnny Cash version of Hurt, the one I mainly based this off of here.