Chapter 1: Welcome to the Madhouse
The sound of an explosion followed by loud yelling had Dusk's eyes open in less than a second. The very bed he slept in seemed to vibrate from the cacophony of arguing beneath him. He felt tired already, even after eleven hours of dreamless, exhausted sleep after settling the five of them down last time, he was already desperate to roll out of bed and into a grave.
He threw himself from his slumbering chambers, barely having time to pull on a pair of trousers before bolting out of the bedroom. Celestia had designed the rehab centre to be large, needing to have every facility and specification to keep all of the 'girls' busy, entertained, and in shape while working towards their eventual reintegration. Whether it was an indoor track, a swimming pool, a gym room, or a sauna, it was all drafted up, paid for, and built in order to make this venture as successful as possible.
That being said, the purple stallion resented the fact the upper floors designed for naught else other than sleeping had to be the same size. Bedrooms big enough to hold a thirty-stallion wrestling match slapped onto corridors you could throw a baseball down and have it hit the ground before it hit a wall. It didn't make for a very good response time when Dusk had to hike over the same distance from here to Canterlot just to get to the bathroom at night. Made it even worse when five villainesses with enough combined power to crack a planet in half were going at it in whatever room was strong enough to handle the scuffle.
There was a brief poof of smoke right next to Dusk's head as he ran, eyes dragging sideways ever so slightly to see a familiar form floating next to him in a relaxed, leisurely position.
"Who needs an alarm clock when these bitches wake the world up, eh?" Eris asked with a smug grin.
The mismash creature was brushing her teeth, levitating a cup of water and an empty cup for swilling and rinsing purposes next to her as she floated along. Her usually-pristine, back-length white hair was matted and knotted, signalling she hadn't been up for much longer than Dusk had.
"What did you do this time?" Dusk asked the buxom Draconequus, skidding around a corner and coming to a large staircase.
"Why is it that whenever a fight breaks out between homicidal nutcases like that lot, you always assume that little ol' me is at fault?" Eris scoffed in a faux-offended tone, crossing her arms underneath her breasts and pouting.
"Because it usually is you," Dusk sighed, thundering down the stairs while Eris proceeded to roll forwards in the air to mimic tumbling down them. "Whether it was the deal with Umbra's hairbrush, Chrysalis glam mags, or that time you ended up getting me socked in the mouth because Tirek thought I'd been rifling through her underwear drawer because you'd put a frog in the thing-"
"-Alright, in my defence, it's not my fault the dumb sack of horns didn't notice the frog before she blamed you for being a pervert," Eris shrugged, holding her hawk-talon-hand up with a raised finger. "It was all meant to be a fun little bit of fun, make it so that I could get away with a few frog-pussy jokes, piss off the big, red goon... I didn't mean for you to catch an ass-whooping over it."
"Oh, I suppose that makes it all better, doesn't it?" Dusk glowered. "S'pose I'll just forgive the busted muzzle and the fact there's still a hole in her bedroom wall the shape of my fucking face-"
"-I said I was sorry!" Eris snapped, spitting toothpaste foam everywhere as she flung her arms up in an exacerbated fashion. "What more do you want from me?"
"Maybe not to have tried the exact same thing again not two days later?!" Dusk yelled at her, screeching to a halt and jabbing a finger into her arm.
"Look, I spent three hours the night beforehand writing down every frog-pussy joke I could think of to use on her," Eris hissed. "And I'll be fucked if I'm gonna let that amount of work go to waste just because-"
"-just because the near eight-foot tall centaur chick that could throw me into orbit if she wanted to got the wrong idea and decided to beat me into a lavender-flavoured yogurt?" he growled. "Because you view your stupid one-liners as more important than my life?"
There was a moment of silence between the two of them, as silent as it could get with the literal war going on in the room down the hall, where Eris looked at Dusk with a mix of offensive, shock, and utter disbelief that he could ever insinuate something so awful.
"Of course the jokes are more important!" Eris exclaimed, hands clapping to the side of her head with a loud thwack. "Them shit's was A-One material, Dusk! Some of the finest yuks I've ever concocted in all my years, and you're honestly going to act so selfish as to assume that your mild bodily harm is worth more to this world than my primo, side-splitting frog-pussy jokes?"
"How do you sleep at night knowing you're this much of a terrible person?" Dusk asked with a slow, drawn-out blink.
"Knowing that Imma wake up sexy as fuck," she said with a wink and a loud, playful slap on her own, extremely-large backside. "Now, my selfish little toe-rag... let's go see what the Thunder-Thots are fighting about."
"You come up with that one just now, or did somebody have to take an ass-kicking to get the gears turning?" he snarled.
"Gods, for someone who's meant to be the Prince of Friendship, you're awfully selfish and not willing to understand your friend's problems, you know that?" Eris said with a roll of her eyes.
"I will eat you," came the furious response.
"Only if you promise to start with my pussy first," she winked, sticking the tip of her tongue out and swinging her hips gently.
Dusk rolled his eyes, bolting back to full speed as he made his way to the source of the argument, throwing open the door to the second floor weight room and performing a quick scan of the area. Weights were tossed all over the place, the mirror mounted on the wall was shattered into fragments, the squat rack was bent in half, and Nightmare Moon was currently towering over Queen Umbra, both of whom looked pretty beat up already, indicating that this was apparently an inbetween round of the bout.
"You bring shit like that to me again, runt, and I'll slap the side of your fucking face off," Umbra snarled, eyes glowing an ominous green, smoke wafting up to the ceiling as she stared at Nightmare Moon.
"One would think to watch their mouth when addressing a being that stands so high above you in every conceivable way that even attempting to spit on you would take three minutes for it to land," the larger, black-and-blue-tone Alicorn hissed, jabbing a finger into Umbra's muscular shoulder.
"Hm, you've got the words of a poet, Moonie," Umbra hissed, swatting her hand away effortlessly and grabbing a hold of the scruff of Nightmare's black exercise shirt. "It's a shame you've got the fucking punch of one, too."
And that seemed to be the bell for the next round, as 'Moonie' proceeded to throw a right hook straight into Umbra's face that knocked the shorter fighter sideways.
"How's that for the punch of a poet?!" she roared, leaping at Umbra and tackling her to the floor.
"Oh, for fuck's sake..." Dusk sighed, rushing towards them and powering up his own magic, boosting his strength way beyond the natural limit his effeminate body could muster up.
He grabbed hold of Nightmare's shoulder and pressed a hand to Umbra's collarbone, trying desperately to prise them apart. Nightmare, seemingly on instinct and without even looking, flung an elbow back at the new addition to the scrap, slamming it right into Dusk's muzzle and breaking his nose loudly.
He could feel the blood pouring before he could feel the pain, the injury to the head, one of the body's most vital areas, kicking off an instinctive flight of rage in the small stallion. Without thinking, he socked the other Alicorn in the back of the head, stunning her with the blow, before gripping the ethereal mass of hair that floated behind her, not even questioning how in the Hells it was physical, before ripping her off Umbra and throwing her flat on her ass behind him.
It seemed that once the two were pulled off each other, only then did they seem to notice that Dusk was in the room. Bleeding, magic pulsing, and eyes alight with fury, the two former-evildoers immediately noticed the injury and exploded into worry... in their own unique ways.
"Why did you get so close, you fool?!" Nightmare demanded, hands gently clapping to the side of Dusk's face as she channelled her magic through her thumbs, using it to heal the damage done to him. "You should know better than to come up behind us during combat by now!"
"Yeah, sorry, Moonie, but I wasn't exactly in the mood to sit back and let you two finish ruin a multi-million bit exercise room," Dusk growled, his anger cooling from the 'Vladimir Chokeabitch' level it had been at moments prior... but still nowhere close to calm.
"That's you told," Umbra snarked arrogantly.
"Don't you even start," he snarled in a furious manner. "I have no idea who started what here... but I can tell you for a fact that you, again, did close to nothing to cool the situation down."
"I don't back down from anything, Dusk," Umbra spat, quite literally spitting blood from a cut lip onto the floor. "If this stuck up old bitch wants another go, I'm game any time she is."
Nightmare went to move for Umbra a second time, only for Dusk to flare up his strength once more and force the much larger Alicorn back behind him, turning to Umbra again and pointing directly at her.
"Keep a lid on it for five minutes, please," Dusk hissed, looking at his watch quickly before continuing. "It is barely eight on a Saturday morning... I was planning on taking the day off after busting my ass all week trying to get through a treaty premise with a new little kingdom that's cropped up in the Dragon Lands... but now it looks like this is gonna be my eighth weekend in a row I'm gonna have to work through because you guys just outright refuse to get along with each other."
"I admit no fault in this," Nightmare snapped, crossing her arms over her chest and looking away.
"Not my fault she can't take a bit of light chiding without throwing hands," Umbra spat. "Fucking bitch..."
Dusk had to intervene for a third time in the space of literally two minutes... at which point, something inside him snapped. Whether a combination of stress, lack of free time, exhaustion with dealing with work, exhaustion with dealing with them, part of his wiring just seemed to burn out, at which point the little stallion's eyes lit up in sparks once again, teeth gritted down hard enough for his jaw to hurt, and his entire body trembling with rage.
"You know what?" he asked aloud. "Fine, fuck it. If you two aren't gonna get along, that's no skin off my nose. I'm just gonna have to make a few rewrites to your care plans, remove a good few privileges that you don't deserve, make sure that you're kept separate from each other at all times, and have it so that you're not allowed to leave your rooms until I decide you're both mature enough to co-exist without it turning into a warzone."
"T-That's hardly fair!" Nightmare exclaimed in shock.
"I only hit her like three times!" Umbra joined in with the outrage.
"No, both of you, shut it!" he barked in an infuriated tone, the two falling silent immediately as the stallion continued to rant, Eris having summoned up a bucket of popcorn and was feverishly chomping away. "I've tried everything I can think of with you. I've asked nicely, I've sat down with both of you time and again, I've put in specific time schedules for you to use the facilities so you don't interact, I've moved your rooms, reorganised entire sections of the Rehab Centre to make it so you don't ever have to even smell one another without having to sacrifice your preferred set up for any facilities-"
The eager Draconequus threw away her empty bucket and summoned up three more, getting a start on the newest one while also conjuring up herself an enormous slushie.
"-and as we can all see, it hasn't helped at all. You've ignored my attempts to help, thrown away my advice, and have wasted several days worth of my effort by refusing to even attempt to follow the rules I put in place just to make both of you happy," he continued, hands balled into fists down by his sides as his emotions continued to pour out. "You've both proven time and again you don't care about my attempts to help, and you don't even respect me enough to even humour me... and because of that, I'm officially stripping both of you of all of your privileges until you've grown up enough to prove you can handle them."
There was silence for a long moment, neither Umbra or Nightmare speaking up, until the shortest dark Queen again tried to raise a point in her defence.
"This wouldn't keep happening if she didn't insist on-" she spoke up in a meek tone only to fall silent the second Dusk shot her a glance.
"Both of you are here... all of you are here to prove to me, to Celestia, and to a Court of Law that you have reformed, adjusted, and are willing and capable to return to society as functioning, understanding, and, above all else, safe to be around individuals," Dusk growled. "Do not forget that you are here solely because we're attempting to ensure that happens. But also do not ever forget that your tenure here is not permanent. If myself or Celestia determines that your rehabilitation is not possible, you will be removed from this program and jailed according to your crimes."
Again, they said nothing.
"I have given you both everything you have asked for... and all I ask in return is that you show the same kindness to each other as I'd like you to show to me," he spoke, voice sounding less angry, less enraged and so much more... broken. "But instead, all you do is throw my kindness back in my face by disrespecting and ignoring my wishes... you've proven to me now that you not only can't handle all the help I'm trying to give you-"
"-Ser Dusk, please-" Nightmare began, reaching out with a soft hand.
"-but you also don't deserve it, either," he finished, tone cracking slightly as the anger gave way to genuine hurt.
With that, he left the room in dead silence, closing the door behind him in a quiet and gentle fashion, this somehow displaying the hurt a thousand times more powerfully than it would've if he'd simply slammed the door. A thick atmosphere hung in the room, neither Umbra nor Nightmare being willing to look at each other or Eris for the longest time.
"I gotta say," Eris chimed in, leaning back in her floating position and slurping her slushie. "You guys are fucking idiots."
The eyes of the dark queens hardened immediately, snarls and growls coming from both of them as they readied to fight, before Eris held up a finger. With an effortless flick of the digit, both Umbra and Nightmare were encased in dark electricity, shocked to the core with painless magic and forced down to their knees. Eris cast aside the slushie, having it explode into dove feathers that then turned into butterflies that made their way out a cracked window.
The Draconequus dropped onto her strong legs, crouching down next to the muted, restrained, and woefully underpowered-in-comparison mares. Eris locked her fingers together, tail swishing playfully behind her in a vicious juxtaposition to the expression on her face.
"Listen up, sugars," she growled in an ungodly-threatening tone. "Two things: the first being that you don't ever, ever think your pathetic little spells and dainty little fists are going to do anything against me. I can rip your entire existence in two without so much as a thought about it, so don't ever step to me like that again, or else I'll hurt you in ways you can't even possibly imagine."
The two continued to groan in silent pain, voices stolen by the Mistress of Reality that stood before them.
"Second... that little twink is someone I consider a very, very good friend," Eris continued. "Now, I may bully the boy just as much as the next buxom bitch that lives in this place... but I know when to call it quits. I know the second a frown appears on his beautiful little face, I've gone too far and I need to make it up to him. Now, you two... you arrogant, pig-headed, selfish little cunts-"
The harshness on the last word from her mouth was emphasised by a squeezing motion made with her talons, causing the arcing lightning around the bodies of the restrained two to tighten, hurting them even more.
"-have made my friend very, very upset," she continued. "And I don't appreciate that one little bit. So here's what we're going to do, okay? You two are gonna behave yourselves for him. You're gonna do everything in your power to make that fat-bottomed little bitch-boy the happiest chappy this side of the sun. Not just because I'll turn you inside out and feed you to the crows if you don't, which I more than happily will, but because you're starting to understand how much you're hurting him, aren't you?"
With a snap of her fingers, Eris killed off the lightning, dropping both of the mares to the floor as she stood up to her full height and turned away from them.
"So let's go over a little chat, girlies, so that we can form an understanding of where you went wrong and how you can fix it," Eris exclaimed with a wide, arrogant smile. "Dusk has bled, cried, and suffered putting this place together for all of us. And while we're all still our fair share of crazy, angry, and leaning-slightly-towards-evil, those nasty-pasty Elements did the same thing to all of us, didn't it?"
The two darker ponies clambered to their feet, rubbing their sore spots and looking between each other nervously.
"Made us have feewings, didn't it?" Eris asked in a mocking tone, making a heart gesture with her hands over her left breast and batting her eyelashes. "Gave us those nasty emotions right in our tiddy-tid-tids, didn't it?"
She snapped her fingers again, conjuring up a little stuffed doll version of Dusk with an unhappy face on it, tossing it to Nightmare and watching the enormous mare catch it.
"We're not the heartless little whores we once were, girls, and we can't ignore what we're doing to him," Eris smirked before throwing in a shrug. "Or, should I say, what you're doing to him."
"We aren't the only ones in here, Eris," Nightmare snarled, her softened eyes dragging away from the sad teddy bear Dusk and hardening as she looked at the Draconequus. "You talk like a warden, but you're as much as prisoner as we are."
"See, there you are again with that Queen Cunt behaviour," Eris waved, summoning another sad-Dusk-doll and tossing it to Umbra. "You forget this isn't a prison. You're forgetting we aren't here to be beaten, raped, and humiliated for the entertainment of the masses. This is a rehab centre. They're trying to make us all better."
Umbra toyed with the little ponytail on the back of the teddy's head and had a soft smile touch her lips as the adorableness got to her slightly.
"Me, Chryssy, and Tirek, we're all trying, day-by-day," she continued. "I'm learning the ABCs of not warping reality for my own benefit, Tirek's increasing her vocabulary of definitions beyond 'conquer' and 'maim', and our little green thot-bag upstairs is learning the times tables of 'how not to be a mind-controlling rapist'. Everyone here's doing their part, passing our tests, and getting the lovely head-pets from our adorable little handler."
Eris pointed to the dolls in their hands before making them both wave at the two holding them, even briefly having them smile for a short second.
"Everyone... except you two," Eris shrugged, making the dolls return to their sad demeanour. "You don't do anything except fight, you never listen to what he tries to tell you, and you can't seem to stop thinking about yourselves for more than three seconds, can you?"
The dolls then disappeared with another snap of Eris' fingers.
"Personally, I don't get how you can still deal with being this fucking unlikable," Eris shrugged. "You've got the feewings, you feel remorse, and dare I say it, you two might actually not be socially retarded to the point of misunderstanding where you're going wrong. You're both assholes, you both know you're doing bad things, and you both feel shit about it... so why keep doing it?"
"Because some people often have their heads so far up their own asses, they've not seen anything but complete shit for years," came the sing-song tone of a familiar Green Queen from the doorway.
"Ah, there's the Mommy of the Millennia," Eris smirked, floating over to Chrysalis and waving at her playfully.
The tall, dark, and mommy-kink placed her hands on her wide, birthing hips as she leaned against the wall, smiling as Eris nuzzled her cheek playfully before the Draconequus wrapped her tail around Chrysalis' waist.
"I heard the whole thing from my bedroom, and my-oh-my, do I think you two are the worst," Chrysalis laughed.
"You're hardly one to talk!" Umbra snapped, hands defiantly down by her side. "You've fucked with him just as bad as we did!"
"Oh, sweetie, don't remind me of it. I kidnapped his babysitter, mind-controlled and raped his older sister for months on end, attempted a hostile takeover of his home, almost murdered his lifelong teacher, and attempted to kill him and his friends the entire time," Chrysalis listed off, counting each offence on her finger. "And yet... even I didn't get that reaction out of him."
"That..." Umbra mumbled. "That doesn't make you better than us..."
"But it makes you so much worse than me," Chrysalis laughed once again, checking her green nails in an arrogant fashion before smirking smugly at the other two black mares. "I did all of that to him and his, and once he took me and mine down, he was so willing to forgive and move on... the perfect example of a lovely little stallion... with that newfound heart of mine, I couldn't possible dream of doing anything to hurt such a beautiful, loving, and perfect little boy like that..."
She giggled quietly to herself as she slumped off to dreamland for a brief moment, returning to the conversation with a playful purr in her tone and smouldering green eyes, locking onto Nightmare and Umbra before pointing at them with an extended hand.
"But what does that make you bitches if even I couldn't hurt him anymore?" she asked. "He's given you everything you could ever want, time and again... and you nearly made him cry. Why, seeing someone who's done so much for me get so upset over a couple of heartless bitches just makes me wanna..."
Chrysalis' eyes ignited with green, blazing fire, her entire body covered in a glowing green aura as a haunting reverb covered her voice, sending a chill down the spine of all who gathered there as she spoke her threat.
"Break them over the back of my knee for daring to upset my little angel," she snarled, fangs bared and dripping with almost literal malice.
A fearful glance was exchanged between Umbra and Nightmare, this transforming into a terrified yelp as Umbra quite literally leapt into Nightmare's arms as the door flew almost off its hinges, opening with a mighty slam as the final familiar face made herself known.
"Who hurt him?" came the deep roar from the gut of their own Lady Tirek.
"Nobody yet... physically at least," Eris shrugged, jumping up onto the back of the centaur and snuggling into her long, white mane. "But two little troublemakers almost brought our dear Dusky to tears... whaddaya say about that, big girl?"
"Apologise," Tirek snarled, eyes lighting up with fury as she crackled her knuckles, the enormous muscle in her arms flexing visibly as she did so.
Umbra and Nightmare looked down at one another with fear, only for them both to realise they were still holding on tightly to each other. With hurried slaps and rapid awkward coughing, the two released their holds and stood a distance apart from each other.
"I'd appreciate this attempt to push us to reconciliation if it didn't feel as if my life was being threatened should I refuse," Nightmare Moon huffed, crossing her arms and turning her nose up.
"Only cuz it is," Tirek snorted.
"I'm not afraid of you," Nightmare snarled.
"Also not able to beat me either," Tirek shrugged. "But I'm not gonna fight you anyway... Dusk don't want that."
"See that? Right there?" Eris asked, floating around to Tirek's face and giving her a big kiss on the cheek before turning to face Umbra and Nightmare again. "That's humility. That's respect. That's being willing to hold back your anger and dislike of a person solely out of a sense of common decency because a dear friend whom'st you are very indebted to is asking you not to cause problems. And cuz Tirek's a little sweetheart under all that muscle, aren't you sugar?"
The eight-foot tall bruiser of a centaur blushed.
"We're all bad girls from bad lives, ladies," Eris gestured to the room. "But you two seem to be the only ones here that aren't willing to get past that... and seem so desperate to hurt and offend our poor little baby-boy who has done nothing but try to help you since you, y'know, tried to murder him and all."
"I didn't realise this had turned into the 'I want Dusk Shine's Dick In Me' club," Umbra spat in an arrogant fashion.
"You're not a part of it simply because you're a moron, deary," Chrysalis chuckled.
"Seconded," Eris sniggered.
"He makes me feel beautiful," Tirek grunted in a gravelly tone.
"Wait... all of you want him?" Nightmare asked in shock.
"How could we not?" Chrysalis laughed loudly. "Have you ever ignored the fact he's not a nine-foot Adonis of a stallion and looked at everything else he is?"
"Kind, sweet, understanding, intelligent," Eris listed off.
"Hung as fuck," Tirek added.
"And you'd know that how?" Umbra asked.
"I can be very hard to notice when I want to be," Tirek shrugged.
"Alright that's... a little rapey," Chrysalis commented with a sideways glance.
"'Hi, Pot, I'm Kettle' much?" Eris smirked.
"Nobody ever said Pot wasn't allowed to call Kettle black," the Changeling Queen retorted.
"Fair, fair," Eris nodded, turning her head back to the other two mares. "So, my detestable little bitches... are you gonna do the right thing and march yourself down to Dusk's office and say that you're sorry? Throw yourself down onto your knees and beg for his forgiveness?"
"Mhm, I'd get on my knees and beg for something else..." Chrysalis sniggered, licking her lips with her foot-long tongue.
"Keep it in your pants when the children are around, sugar," Eris grinned, turning her eyes back to Nightmare and Umbra. "So, whaddaya say? Are you gonna act like decent beings for the first time in your miserable existence and try to make up with the stallion that's the only reason you haven't found yourself turned into a prison slut wall for inmates with good behaviour?"
"Celestia would never allow..." Nightmare began defiantly, only to trail off halfway through her sentence and place a finger to her lip. "Well... then again..."
"Dark," Umbra commented with a bemused expression, tightening the fasten on her cotton pants and sighing loudly. "Alright, swallowing my pride and listening to your advice. I'm gonna go be a responsible, mature adult and apologise!"
"Hmf, change from usual," Nightmare commented. "Usually the only time your name and mature are used in the same sentence is when somebody describes what kind of cheese you reek of."
"Are you on smack, or d'you fucking want one, kiddo?" Umbra demanded, turning to face Nightmare with a furious expression.
"And here we go again," Eris said with a loud, unhappy groan. "Back to square fucking one..."
"Y'know, you can stand and glare at the wall until it grows moss, Moonie," Eris said as she popped into being a few feet away from Nightmare Moon, watching the large mare stand and stare indignantly at the white wall before her. "But it can't make up for you being the biggest cunt."
"I am... I am not ignoring my need to apologise," she snarled, hands balling into fists down at her sides. "I am merely trying to find a way to... express myself in a manner that does not... that allows me to..."
"Basically-" Eris smirked, teleporting once again and appearing upside down above Nightmare Moon. "You're trying to find the way to word your apology in to show that you're actually sorry without making you look like a little bitch?"
"How did you-" the black mare began.
"-read the chapter notes, helped a lot," Eris waved away dismissively. "If I may propose a suggestion-"
She bopped Nightmare on the tip of her horn before teleporting in front of her, floating in a laid-out position with her legs kicking behind her.
"-don't worry about looking like a cunt. Because you already look like a cunt. In fact, you look like so much of a cunt that the mere sight of you excites my lesbian tendencies," she giggled. "Though that might just be because you look like a snack."
"Do not mock me, Draconequus," she snarled in response.
"An angry snack. Like a snack with spice on it, but instead of being an actual snack with spice," Eris continued, tumbling through the air as she spoke. "You're just a cunt with an attitude problem."
"Do you want me to vaporise you?" Nightmare growled furiously.
"I want you to try, sugartits," Eris countered in a cold, serious tone.
The two locked eyes for a long moment, Nightmare leaning closer and standing her ground while continuing to speak.
"You're a powerful being, Eris," she hissed. "I'd relish the challenge."
"I'm not a powerful being, Moonie," the Draconequus sniggered. "I'm the powerful being. I'm the mistress of all of reality, able to create and destroy at my whim. You may have the power to blast a hole through a planet, but what good would that be against me when I can simply remove you from existence? Turn you into a swarm of butterflies? Teleport you into the deepest reaches of space and watch you boil, freeze, and explode before piecing you back together and doing it over and over again?"
Nightmare's glare faltered slightly.
"And if you have such power, how were you able to be defeated by Dusk and his friends? A creature of such strength should've found children with fancy jewellery to be no such issue, correct?" Nightmare continued.
"Oh, the little rascals snuck up on me after I thought I'd won," Eris sighed, shrugging dismissively before dropping down onto her feet. "Didn't get a chance to use my fancy magics against them, got hit with the blast and... well, as we both know, once that little rainbow tickle hits you, you don't really want to be evil anymore, do you? I could snap my fingers right now and reverse each and every effect the Elements had on me... but I don't want to."
"You're a strange being, Eris," Nightmare sighed, shaking her head almost dismissively. "The power of a god in the palm of your hand... and you're content to wile your days away in a carehome, at the beck and call of no more than a child."
"Cuz it's fun, it's interesting, and the cafe here makes really, really good spaghetti," Eris shrugged. "The chef can grate the Parmesan in that way that it doesn't clump up and melt all in one big glob, and I've never been able to do that before because all the stupid graters I've used are cheap and clumsy-"
"I'm going to go apologise to Dusk now," Nightmare groaned in a flat tone, desperately wanting to be away from Eris' ramblings.
"Go be a good noodle for once!" Eris called with a smile and a wave as Nightmare Moon made her way down the hall. "Try your best to be polite and remember that if you so much as irritate him anymore, I'll feed your corpse to the wolves!"
Nightmare Moon rolled her eyes, waving half-heartedly over her shoulder as she made her way through the halls to Dusk's office. With a deep breath and a roll of her eyes, she opened the door and walked inside, coming across Dusk in the middle of a conversation with a projection of Celestia coming from an enchanted stone.
"-I'm really sorry, Dusk, but this has happened too many times. The budget for the centre has been drained by damages, and we just don't have it in the place's funding to repair it again without cutting into the money for other facilities and other essentials," the projection explained to the smaller Alicorn.
"I know... I've decided to strip Moonie and Umbra of their facility privileges and confine them to their rooms until their behaviour improves," Dusk sighed in quite a depressed manner. "I... I lost my temper with them as well... I really wasn't professional about it at all."
"I feel it needed to be done," Celestia sighed, eyes dragging away from Dusk only to notice Nightmare Moon standing in the doorway with her muscular arms crossed over her chest. "Speak of the devil... you're not allowed to enter the administrator's office without knocking, Luna, it's against site rules."
Nightmare Moon closed the door behind her and strode over to the crystal, eyeing up the projection of her older sister with a flat, almost-emotionless expression.
"Luna!" Celestia beamed in a warm fashion. "It's so good to see you again!"
Nightmare was silent again, crossing her arms over her chest and grunting out a single response.
"You're getting fat."
Celestia's smile faltered for the briefiest of moments, eyes screwing shut and a long, slow exhale falling from her plump lips.
"Good to see you're maintaining your tact, as always," Celestia sighed.
"About as well as you're maintaining your overweight body," her sister shrugged in a dismissive tone. "Can you leave? I need to talk to Dusk."
"Actually, Luna, we're kind of in the middle of important business here that really can't be igno-" Celestia began, only for her projection to disappear immediately as Nightmare fired a finger beam at the crystal that created her ethereal form.
It shattered loudly, raining smoking fragments all across the room. Dusk's eyes widened in shock only to narrow quickly thereafter in anger, quickly confronting Nightmare with a more-than annoyed-expression.
"Didn't I just tell you to behave yourse-" Dusk growled, only to be silenced as fast as Celestia had been once Nightmare placed her finger... pretty much over his face in an effort to shush him.
Dusk glared blankly at the titanic tyrant, rolling his eyes under her touch before she began to speak.
"Listen true and listen well, for I shall only say this once," she began, brow furrowed as she spoke. "I light of my prior actions, both today and in recent memory, I am here to say that... I offer my condolences in regards to the grief you have suffered because of them..."
Dusk's eyebrow cocked in a suggestive manner, realising exactly what was going on here before he gently moved her hand off his face.
"No, let's try that again," he sighed. "You're sorry that you've offended me."
She remained silent.
"You are sorry that you've offended me," Dusk repeated.
She scrunched her muzzle up.
"Nightmare," Dusk blinked.
"Mnf," she grunted dismissively.
"If you're not going to say it, I'm not going to accept your apology," he glowered.
"I am... regretful over the fact my actions caused you-" she began, only for Dusk to turn his back on her and return to his desk.
"Okay, look," he said with an enormously disgruntled expression. "Don't try to apologise if you're not sorry. I'm not your father, I'm not your teacher, and I'm not trying to get you to say sorry just because it's the polite thing to you. I want you to genuinely improve who you are now, and the first step to that is expressing a little bit of regret over your actions. If you've come in here, too proud and too self-important to even give a fake apology, then you clearly aren't even close to it."
Nightmare exhaled loudly through her nose.
"So if it's all the same to you, I'd rather you not embarrass yourself, go back to your quarters..." Dusk growled, waving her away with a dismissive hand. "And stop wasting my time, please? I've got a hell of a lot of stuff on my plate to sort through, and you're just making it worse."
Nightmare went to turn her nose up at the request, only for her to stiffen suddenly, fingers twitching against her bicep muscles as her arms remained crossed. Dusk noticed the change in her demeanour immediately, casting a quizzical glance at the large black mare as she seemed to struggle against something, her face twitching briefly before widening into a large, warm smile.
"I want to apologise from the deepest depths of my heart for the fact that I've made you so much as frown during our time together," she began in a sing-song tone that was so out of character for her it made Dusk's skin crawl. "You have shown me nothing but kindness and goodwill, and that makes me feel beyond heartbroken that I should ever make a cloud come over your bright, sunny day, and truly makes me realise what a stuck-up, worthless, and conceited bitch I am with no fashion sense whatsoever."
Nightmare finished her little spiel by making a heart gesture with her hands and beaming widely. Dusk was silent for a long moment, looking her up and down before casting his eyes towards the closed door of his office.
"Chrysalis, I appreciate the help in getting her to confess her... unbecoming traits, but a fake apology is about as worthless as no apology!" he called out to the hallway.
"Want me to lobotomise her then?" came the muffled response from the Green Queen outside.
"No... just, release her from the spell... and maybe make her not remember it happened?" Dusk asked. "I'm not in the mood to have to scrape you up off the floor."
"If you say so," she sighed, an audible snap of her fingers followed by Nightmare shuddering suddenly.
"What just... what happened?" she asked, an edge of anger to her voice.
"What happened when?" Dusk bluffed effortlessly.
"Moments ago," she reaffirmed, eyes hardening as she glared at him.
"I asked you to leave, is what happened," Dusk shrugged. "Please? I've still got a very busy day ahead of me... and I need to call Celestia back..."
"Very well," the large, coal-black mare shrugged. "I've made my peace and have naught left to feel sorry for. Good day, Dusk."
And with that, the haughty mare of the moon made her exit, leaving Dusk alone in his office with a pounding headache and an inability to process simply how socially broken that big horse was. Chrysalis stuck her head in the door, beaming widely as she threw a little wave at Dusk.
"Hi, Chryssy," he sighed, leaning back in his chair.
"Having fun?" the former Changeling queen inquired.
"All of it," he said in a glum voice. "Haven't enjoyed myself this much since I split my head open on a pine tree."
"I imagine that'd be way more entertaining and would be more satisfying than dealing with that bitch," Chrysalis snorted.
"Please don't talk about her like that," Dusk added for professional reasons.
"What else am I supposed to talk about her like?" Chrysalis asked, eyes flashing mischievously as she spoke. "Like she's a good person? Sorry, my Hive Mother raised me not to lie."
"Didn't you essentially do nothing but lie when impersonating Cadance and trying to take over Canterlot?" Dusk blinked.
"Well, I said she raised me not to do it," she shrugged. "Never said I took any heed of it."
"Of course you didn't," Dusk nodded, gently slamming his hands down onto the desk as he shot up to his feet. "Chrysalis, I'm going to the cafeteria to make myself some coffee, and then I'm probably going to throw it in my own face."
"Sounds fun, can I tag along?" she giggled.
"Yes. I'm probably going to need you there to prevent me from stabbing myself in the eye with a fork," he nodded, heading around his desk and walking towards the door.
He closed the solid oak entrance-denier behind him, locking it with his large jumble of keys, before turning around to head to the cafeteria... only to come to a stop as the larger, black mare snaked her arm through his and squeezed herself up against his smaller body.
"Chryssy... I'm not allowed to fraternise with patients," Dusk sighed in a dry tone.
"Oh, please, this isn't anything close to fraternisation," the Changeling sputtered. "You'll know what fraternisation is when you wake up in my bed after a night so wild, we're both glued to the bedsheets."
"I..." Dusk began, trailing off with his mouth agape and eyes locked onto Chrysalis' beaming face. "This is sexual harassment in the workplace, and I don't have to take it, you know?"
"Oh I know..." she sniggered. "Taking it is my job."
"I feel threatened," he gulped.
"Only because you are," she added, eyes glowing ominously as she stared down at the little femboy. "Now how about we got get some of that... hot coffee?"
"I want my mommy."
"Oh, I'll be your fuckin' mommy alright, little boy."
Chapter 3: The Queen's Deepest Sympathies
Don't fraternise with the patients.
The rule echoed in his head over and over again as he found himself sitting in the lap of the big, black bug queen. Her arms were joined around his slender waist, resting on his own wide hips as she rested her chin on the top of his head. He sipped from his coffee, eyes narrow with bemusment, as the Changeling Queen hummed a tune he did not recognise. She swayed side to side, happy and contented to baby what was supposed to be her psychiatrist and her corrections officer, and dragging Dusk with her in the motion.
"Be careful not to burn your tongue," she said in a warm, mothering tone.
"I know how to drink coffee, Chrysalis," Dusk said with a sigh. "But thank you for your concern. I appreciate it."
"It's my job to look after all the little ones in my hive," she smiled, hugging him tighter and nuzzling him, a weird noise coming from the bag of her throat.
"W-what..." Dusk began, turning to look at her. "What is that?"
"What's what?" she asked, cocking her head in confusion.
"That... clicking? Grinding?" Dusk asked quizzically. "You're making a noise right now."
"What d'you... oh. Oh!" she exclaimed, nodding profusely. "It's a thing Changeling Queens do when they're happy. It's two pieces of chitin in my sinuses that rub against each other really fast. Dunno what you ponies call it. It's basically a sound that's supposed to comfort all the larvae whenever they're feeding."
"Purring," Dusk stated in a firm tone. "You're purring, Chryssy."
"Ah... maybe," she shrugged. "What else does that?"
"Cats purr... big cats purr harder," Dusk shrugged, sipping more of his coffee. "You're like a big, mothering... kind of rapey cat..."
"Isn't that what all boys want in a mother?" Chrysalis asked.
"No, I'd have been pretty weirded out if my mother had tried to rape me," Dusk disagreed.
"Seriously? Have you seen your mother before?" Chrysalis exclaimed with a loud, booming laugh. "I'd have been the happiest insect on the planet if your mom tried to rape me."
Dusk was silent for a long moment, eyes nearly burning a hole into the floor with the stare he threw down at it, his face twitching with barely-contained rage.
"You remember how we talked about the list of 'things I wouldn't like someone to say to me' in regards to conversing with people?" Dusk asked after a slow, calming breath.
"I mean... kind of? That was the one with the orange pamphlet with the 'dos and don'ts', right?" she asked, scratching her head in confusion. "I was kind of out of it at the time..."
"Energy deprivation making you feel sick?" Dusk asked.
"No, I think Eris and I had just wrapped up a three-day cocaine bender before then, so I was uber fucked the day after," Chrysalis shrugged. "I remember it was stuff like... 'compliment people's mane and make-up, not talk about how digestible their inner love cores are' and 'make small talk about the weather and sports events, don't try to hypnotise people's husbands into making them let you suck them off in the street'."
"You're forgetting the last half of that," Dusk sighed.
"Am I really... oh! Yeah, I remember 'don't try to hypnotise people's husbands into making them let you suck them off in the street in front of their spouses!' That was it!" she smiled, puffing her chest out proudly and sticking her tongue out as she smiled.
"Indeed you did," Dusk sighed.
"So I'm fine to go whole-hog on a fat cock in front of the town choir so long as I'm not doing it in front of their lawfully wedded cum-rag, right?" Chrysalis asked. "Because that's what I took away from that."
"I think we might need to go over that course a few more times," Dusk growled, rubbing his eyes between his finger and thumb whilst desperately fighting off the urge to gouge the fucking things out. "But the reason I brought it up is still relevant. You know how you just said you wanted my mother to rape you?"
"Yes?" she asked, looking down at Dusk before kissing him on the back of the head.
"Not really the greatest conversational branch in the linguistic tree," he pointed out with a raised finger. "Try bringing up something else a little less... the most insulting thing you've probably ever said to me, maybe?"
"Okay, uh..." Chrysalis hummed, tapping her feet on the wooden floor in thought. "I sometimes lactate through my dresses whenever I've got a clutch going?"
"I'm done with this conversation," Dusk growled, standing up out of Chrysalis grip, sipping his coffee, chucking it in his own face, and teleporting out of the room halfway through a scream of rage, anger, and frustration.
Chrysalis sat there in an awkward fashion for a brief moment, tapping her hands on her thick thighs before snapping her fingers and summoning up a little journal and green-tipped pencil, scrawling down a few updates to the charts she kept in her book:
Times abandoned conversation within minutes of starting it: seventeen.
Times reminded about boundaries and sexual assault: eighty-three.
Times Dusk has thrown his own coffee in his face during the conversation: four.
"Wow, that last one's down from last week," Chrysalis smiled to herself. "Dare I say it, if it keeps up at this rate, he'll be fucking a new hive into me on our wedding night within the next month!"
Dusk lay face down on his bed, hoping that if he buried his face deep enough into the pillow, he might be able to rediscover his will to live. He felt like ripping his mane out, felt like crying his eyes red, and felt like quitting on the spot as he felt like these girls were a mental brick wall he had no hope of getting through. The most bearable one out of all of them for the month had been Tirek, and that was mostly because while the others had habits of raping, playing god, arson, and attempting to slaughter those who looked at them wrong, Tirek...
Tirek just kind of beat him up a lot. It hurt like a bitch and he never enjoyed going through the experience... but at least it didn't involve having to apologise to a whole town and promising to put children through therapy after Nightmare Moon had thrown out a necromantic revival wave to tear corpses from the ground in an attempt to throw them into battle with the shadow legion Umbra had summoned.
Tirek just broke his nose, ruptured his organs, and painted pictures every few days. Said it was her 'venting strategy'. Not the painting, the beating him up.
Good for her.
"There you are, my lesser being!" came the exclamation from the doorway.
Begging for death as he turned around, his eyes fell upon Umbra, hands joined behind her back and a rather sinister smirk on her face. Her eyes swirled and glowed an ominous green as they always did, thick, luscious, black mane perfectly quaffed and slicked back over her powerful shoulders. Her body was clad in simple, yet-expensive, garments: a tight-fitting grey tank-top with a pair of lycra leggings, all premium brands and very well-used in her exercise... and often used in teasing attempts to all that felt lucky enough to try their luck with her. Body buxom, curvy, and muscular, she sauntered over to him, hands still hiding behind her back as she looked him up and down.
"Umbra, its against policy for a patient to be allowed in my private quarters," he said, sitting up on the side of the bed.
"And it's also against policy to set fire to surrendering enemy combatants, and yet we all do it anyway," she shrugged in that usual light-hearted... villainous mass-murderer charm she possessed. "I have come to present my apology!"
"I... is it just a simple apology?" Dusk asked, blinking blankly.
"Of course not!" she snapped, turning her nose up at the mere insinuation. "As the Queen of the Darkened Realms, I have a reputation to uphold and a specific standard of quality that comes with all I do."
"Is that the same standard of quality that came with you setting the kitchen on fire?" Dusk asked. "Making a smoothie."
"It's not my fault your equipment has faulty wiring," Umbra growled.
"It usually tends to after you throw it across the room and chuck a dark energy blast at it," Dusk nodded.
"Well, it shouldn't have been using those absolute nonsense measurements that don't even exist on it!" she hissed.
"You mean 'the metric system'?"
"Yes, that absolutely stupid pile of made up terms and rules," Umbra nodded fiercely. "What the seancing fuck even is a 'litre' anyway? Sounds like a measurement for distance that got spelled wrong in translation."
"Getting back on topic and away from your crusade against modern measuring systems, I'm again going to have to ask you to leave the room and wait for me to come talk to you in a designated area-"
"-Dusk Shine, I, Queen Umbra of the Eternal Abyss-" she interrupted in a grandiose, hollering tone.
"-or we can just start screaming, that works too-" he sighed.
"-offer you, from my own personal collection and my own personal feelings, the deepest, most-heartfelt, and genuine apology one of this world can muster for the offence my actions have caused you!" she dropped down onto one knee, holding out a fancy box, velvet black and about over a foot long... signalling it was something big. "I hope that you and I can patch this rift between us, come together as before, and unite stronger than ever in a friendship that shall benefit us both, and all who may share our strength!"
Dusk knew he was going to regret taking the gift, but he did so anyway. He took the velvet box from Umbra's larger hands, fingers rubbing the soft, expensive material as he worked the clasps on the front of it. With a creak of the old hinges, Dusk opened the box and stared at the contents, eyes nearly falling out of his skull in amazement... just before his responsibility kicked in and ruined the moment.
Sat in the soft confines of the box was a dagger. Black steel with a ruby set in the pommel, clearly-well used, but also well-maintained. It appeared to be a hunting dagger of some kind, with a thin, sharp blade designed for skinning and cutting. The thing certainly wasn't an ornate wall-hanger, that much was for sure. Inscribed with the initials of a master smith, having seen it's fair share of action, and definitely being one of the most expensive things he'd been given as a gift, he was amazed at the quality of...
The piece of contraband Umbra had just handed him.
"I... Umbra, you're... it's against the rules to..." he began, unsure of how to word himself.
"Are... are you rejecting both my gift and my apology?" she asked with an angered growl in her voice. "I come to you with one of my most treasured possessions and you return it to me with a look of disgust and disrespect on my honour?!"
"Of course not, Umbra!" Dusk snapped. "I gratefully accept the apology and hope we can get along great from now, and I'm also gobsmacked about how nice of a gift this is, but..."
He looked down at the dagger once again, knowing the history, the expense, and the quality of the gift, but at the same time needing to follow the rules he himself had set down.
"But you're not allowed to have weapons in here, gifts or otherwise," he sighed. "They pose a health risk to both on-site staff and the patients present and are safety violations in Equestrian medical establishments. You could get in serious, serious trouble for having this, and I could as well if I accepted it..."
Umbra's eye twitched again, nostrils flaring and smoke billowing out of her eyes as her anger boiled to a point she could almost not control. Her fingers twitched, her muscled arms trembled, and she prepared to throw herself back to her feet and storm out of the room... only for Dusk's hand to touch hers as she attempted to close the box. He smiled softly, speaking in a gentle tone as he leaned towards Umbra.
"So this is gonna be our little secret, okay?" he asked with a confident grin. "Nobody has to know about it, right?"
Umbra's anger melted away good and quick, her own mischievous smile returning to her face as she got to her feet, nodding amicably as she looked down at the much-smaller stallion.
"I'm glad you've chosen to see it my way, Dusk," she said with a grin, crossing her arms underneath her enormous bust and eyeing towards the door. "I take it to mean that you allowing this little... allowance means that I'm your favourite, no?"
"I don't have a favourite," Dusk sighed. "I hate you all equally."
"I'll be sure to keep that in mind, my little friend," Umbra purred, eyes lighting up in a seductive, playful manner as she looked down at him. "Maybe there are... other misgivings I can encourage you to overlook... for a little fun?"
"Oh, no, uh-uh," Dusk said, setting the box down on his bed and getting to his feet. "I'm risking enough for you already, Umbra, and it's not gonna happen again. You and the rest of the girls better be on your best behaviour from now on, or else you'll find me under your bed with that knife you just gave me."
"Yes, sir," Umbra faux-sighed as Dusk guided her out of his room. "You'll hear no trouble from me for the rest of the day."
"That's what I want to hear from..." he trailed off, eyes hardening as she stared deep into her own evil orbs. "What do you mean the rest of the day?"
She blew him a kiss over her shoulder and closed the door behind her, leaving Dusk and his new present alone to think about the absolute horror story Umbra was cooking up for him in the coming days.
