Fallout: Equestria - CLASSIFIED

"Mr. B, if I told you what my 'interests' are, you'd have me locked up."

*** *** ***

One of the earliest memories that I have of my father, is when he snobbishly explained to me how to tell if another pony is worth trusting or not. Spark Charger, he’d tell me, ...things like friendship are like half empty glasses of cider. I think, maybe, it was due to how he perceived loyalty, and how I would eventually perceive it in turn. I would consider his interpretation at a time in my life when everything was closed and disciplined.

It was a time some years after I’d suffered through a fairly harsh falling-out with several ponies I’d spent my life knowing.

The title of ‘Loyalty Inspector’, I thought, only meant the enforcement of the stable residents’ obedience towards the rules set by the Overmare, whether strict or liberal. But loyalty, that involves two parties. The one who is being loyal, and the one who must trust that the other is staying loyal. And I had a problem with knowing that, on top of what my father had told me. You can’t trust anypony, he’d say, and in turn, I’d proudly believe it. But, being an annoyingly curious foal, I’d ask more, and he’d respond with more fatherly advice. He’d say, I’m not going to sit here and pretend like us Sparkhorns were prophets of friendship, but we’ve been involved in the practice enough to know that if the ends don’t meet our benefits, we want nothing to do with it. If you want to rely on somepony… if you need to rely on somepony… Well, friends might provide that want... that need. The thing about friends is that you don't get to decide who’s your friend or not, because half of that decision is up to them to decide. And when they have that power, you can't know if their feelings are true, or if they’re just playing you for a chump. Sparkhorns have always been in control, he’d proudly boast with a hoof across his chest, ...so if you can’t control true friendship, then you’ll have to make do with something else.

Ah, the Sparkhorns, as my bloodline was called... they were apparently the decedents of some powerful unicorns during the war. That’s power as in authority, although they certainty were no amateurs when it came to magic either. Wouldn’t have mattered to me either way. It would seem, however, that they had enemies in high places, possibly higher than the executive council on which they resided on, as it was like they had never existed after one tragic evening. Everything to do with the Sparkhorn bloodline had been permanently erased from the database in my stable, including everything about my parents. I didn’t care to feel sorry for them if the worst case scenario had occurred, so I preferred to think that perhaps they’d retired from the council, and died in their sleep one day, knowing that they could afford ignorance in at least one of their former responsibilities, while somepony who hated their guts decided to wipe their files out of spite. I guess it was up to me to carry on the bloodline... without any inheritance of course. I guess my destiny was unclear to me, as I became the victim of their last greatest con, since I was given up on before I could wreak the benefits of their death. To Stable 17, however, my destiny was to work in the maintenance department.

I had gotten my cuitemark in a maintenance sector of the stable, on the reactor level, so naturally, I was all but meant to start my life working in the maintenance department. That's how things worked here. The thing is... those who start in maintenance, usually end in maintenance as well. I never really approved of what my destiny was either... It seemed the pair of electric cables, fitted with clips on either end, had taunted me with guilt ever since they had been magically and permanently plastered on my flanks. Maybe it would come as a surprise to say that it wasn’t a very exciting time... I hadn’t even realized I’d gotten it until I had woken up in the medbay the next morning. My parents couldn’t even be around to be proud or excited about it. Father Star and Sister Cross sure as hell weren’t. The Overmare at the time simply slapped a Pip-Buck on my leg, congratulated me, and slipped out before she could waste anymore of her time. I guess my friends, that my father would have no doubt disapproved of, were the only ones I could really show it off to, but I couldn't exactly tell them the truth. If anypony knew what really happened on the reactor level that day... I don’t know if I’d belong anywhere. All I knew, was that I had to find a way out of maintenance, and fast.

As a colt, I had taught myself how to pick a pocket or two here and there, but that was just the beginning. As most ponies did in Stable 17, I made my mark by gambling my future. While many were somewhat annoyed by the annual gaming mandate, I was fascinated by it. That’s right, I said fascinated, not addicted! I was a cards’ pony at heart. I put my gambling skills to the test with the older ponies at cards tables and the stable ball games. But, skill can only take a pony so far, especially who’s talent has nothing to do with cards. I mean, do you really think I’d have any kind of natural luck? No... If I wanted luck, I had to make my own. So, gambling turned into swindling, the con turned into beautiful art, and the pony about to win 100 stable units on their access card, loses it all to me, when the pony they bet on is faking an injury for some extra ration slips. I had to learn to hide an ace or a jack here and there, but when word gets around, you’ve got to deal with impolite society. If some big shot king pin loses too much to some lucky eyed buck, he might want a cheater around to get it back. And take it from me, even when it feels like your life couldn’t be higher, it never ends well for the cheater. Some jobs involve a pony looking for vengeance, a wife who’s jealous of her cheating husband, or maybe a filly’s pet cat scratched the wrong Exec. Word spreads among certain members of society, I become a certain member of that society. My tolerance for such wouldn't last forever, though.

After returning from a rough security draft, the criminal opportunity for hotbed get-rich-quick heists I’d pull off with my friends, was nothing but an embarrassing memory. Instead, I looked on in disgust at my stable’s loss of moral awareness and lack of uniformity. So, I decided to spend my well earned stable credits on a few cutiemark aptitude tests, which would eventually find that I was, without a ~~cheat~~ doubt, the perfect candidate for administrative training. How proud my parents would have been... I would work begrudgingly under one Overmare, before working to my satisfaction under the next; My ‘friend’ from the orphanage, Diamond Blossom. I owed her more than I cared to admit, and due to some unethical circumstances involving the execs, she owed me plenty in return. Such is the life of a politician I guess, that of which, many began to suspect I was complicit in becoming, as I used the same charming smiles I’d flash to get out of trouble with security, now to convince ponies that what I do is for their own good. I believed it too, of course. I still do, I guess, to a degree. I used to hate following the rules of the stable. Well, now I was the stable… and I ought to have enforced its rules. It’s what kept us stable ponies safe. And I of course was a stable pony.... And who out there would say I don't support the collective? I help run it, after all...

Heh... It was sure nice talking to my dad.

Footnote: [The goddesses disliked that...]

New Traits Discovered:
Stable Control - The goddesses did not let you down easy. So, unfortunately, you were born with a ‘nervous tic’. Most spells are now restricted by your own doing. -2 luck times every spell point used in one action. To compensate, your Strength, Endurance, and Agility are increased by 1.
Four Eyes - From extreme near sightedness as a foal to farsightedness as an adult, your cutiemark had the odd effect of reversing it. Nonetheless, you still need glasses to see certain things you might not be able to up close. But, you've got a damn good eye when you have'em, Inspector. While wearing any type of glasses, you have +1 Perception. Without glasses, you have -1 Perception.