True To Form

by Wild Wire

Rating: teen
Tags: Violence, Human, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Other, Sex, Profanity, Adventure
Length: 3475

A brony arrives in Equestria, one week before season one, but he's not entirely normal anymore.

A brony arrives in Equestria, one week before season one, but he's not entirely normal anymore.

Sex tag is just for innuendos and all that jazz, putting it there just in case.

Published 2019-07-16 19:00:01 UTC
Last updated 2019-07-23 10:47:47 UTC

Chapter 1

"FUCK FUCK FUCK!" I swore repeatedly, running through the thick forest from the fucking MANTICORE that was chasing me. A FUCKING MANTICORE I SAY! I was so fucking terrified of this thing behind me, I barely even registered how fast I was running. All I knew was that it was fast enough. I frequently looked behind me to see if it was gaining, but it seemed to be at the same distance every time I checked. About a few more seconds later, I realized that it was just now starting to slow down.

"Hah HAH! No one's eating my ass today! FUCK you, for my name is Alexander Blumiere!" I shout, flipping him off with both hands as I run.

When I turned forward it was already too late. I had just ran off a cliff.

"DAMN IT!" I shout as I started to descend into what seemed to be a ravine. I've played Minecraft, I know what these look like. I still had a lot of forward velocity from running though, and at my speed, I was basically flying towards the other wall of the ravine. Slamming into the wall and leaving a large crack, I bounce back a slight bit and continue to fall to the bottom. My legs were the first to touch the ground, hitting hard at a bad angle. Next was my back, which completely knocked the wind out of me. Last was my head, which felt like it hit the hardest, disorienting me at an alarming degree.

After my vision un-blurred from the probable head trauma, I quickly used my hands to lift myself up a bit, into a sitting position on my knee pit. Why was I sitting on the back side of my knee joint? Because past that point, my legs were facing the WRONG FUCKING WAY, facing upward in the air.

"Oh shit." I started to hyperventilate, my quiet voice echoing slightly in the dark ravine. I was in an unknown forest, with dangerous mythological creatures, at the bottom of a ravine with two broken legs, at night. Even though I wasn't dead, I would never be found. Stranded, barely alive in a fucking cave. I couldn't even feel any pain.

Wait.

I couldn't feel any pain, just mild discomfort. I look at my legs and lean to the side a bit and I see no blood at all. Just the back of my knee, which, while very fucking disturbing to look at while it's bending this way, meant I seemed to me less injured than I thought I was. I've never dislocated anything before, nor have I seen anyone dislocate anything. Is this what it was like?

Of course not Alexander, don't be stupid, you just survived falling down a damn ravine!

How was I alive? I outran a literal beast, slammed my face into a wall at high speeds, and fell the rest of the way down, I should be more than dead. I should be mega dead! I continued to stare at my legs, thinking on what to do now. I know that in stories, whenever the main character dislocated their arm, they just pop it back into place, but it can't be that easy, right?

With nothing else to try, I put both my hands on the ends of my legs, and leaned forward quickly, pushing my legs down in the process. It felt very strange, but it didn't hurt at all. Isn't this supposed to hurt a lot? Maybe make me hiss in pain or something? My legs just fell down into a natural position, and that was it. Then I lifted myself up.

"What the hell?" I whispered, standing completely fine. I walk forward a few steps, no pain or anything. Even the discomfort went away. I was completely amazed, despite my ever growing confusion. Then I tripped on a rock, and landed on my face again. I pulled myself up, and felt my face with my hand, revealing nothing once again. I was grinning now.

"Oh ho ho, am I invincible now?" I asked myself, standing once again. I was reveling in my newfound power of indestructibility. But I had another problem now.

I was still in a giant fucking pit.

"Right, focus Blumiere! I need to get out of here before I starve." I looked up, and saw one edge of the ravine lit up by the moonlight. I could tell that it only recently became night, as the moonlight was very, VERY slowly increasing.

"Well, looks like I have the time." I say, walking around the perimeter of the ravine for a way out. After walking for ten minutes, I reached the edge of the ravine, and had to turn around at a lack of exits. I walked back, passed where I started, and five minutes later I reached the other edge. It really was just a gigantic pit.

I grumble to myself, realizing I had completely wasted my time. It a fit of frustration, I kicked the wall with the bottom of my shoe. Retracting my foot from the newly formed hole, I stare for just a moment, before I get the perfect idea. Moving to the side, I slam my foot into the wall again, but instead of retracting it, I try to lift my body as if my leg was a lever attached to the wall. I raise my other foot, and slam it forward as well, creating another hole to lift myself from.

I slowly repeated this process, the largest shit-eating grin, and lean back with my legs still in the wall.

I was walking up the wall, scaling it, with my body completely horizontal.

"Here I come, JoJo!" I say, trying to imitate Dio's voice. The impression came out perfect, surprising me enough to lose focus and fall to the bottom again. With a slight groan of of annoyance. I start trying to do random impressions, just to see if whatever effected me fucked with my vocal cords too.

"Nice of the princess to invite us for a picnic, ay Luigi?" I start, doing Mario's voice from Hotel Mario while I continue my wall climb. Switching to Luigi's voice I continue the next line. "I hope she made lotsa spaghetti!" I say, the voices perfectly matching up. I decide to try different voices.

"No one can just deflect the emerald splash!"

"Pikachu, use quick attack!"

"Buzz look an alien!"

"Wryyyyyyyyyyyyy! Shit, I can do Dio's wry too?" I asked myself, every voice coming out perfectly. I stopped my thought as I finally reached the top of the wall. Walking over the edge of the cliff, I land myself upright, back on solid ground, amazed by all my new abilities. I look towards the sky, wondering where these powers came from, when I see something that I thought I would never see in real life.

The mare in the moon.

I was in Equestria.

"...Honestly the manticore should have given that away."

Chapter 2

After easily establishing that, yes, I am in Equestria and, yes, I am in the Everfree forest, I decided it was best to try to find my way to Ponyville... After experimenting with my powers a bit, of course. So far, I have enhanced speed, I feel no pain from falling long distances, and I'm strong enough to kick holes into solid stone. I can imitate any voice, and I felt no physical exhaustion from any of my abilities so far. So my first test is,

"How high can I jump?" I asked myself. I quickly jumped from my pacing, putting very little effort into it, and only jumping as high as I normally would before I had my powers. I try again, this time actually lowering my body and preparing to put in maximum effort. My legs started to feel strange for a moment, as if they got heavier, possibly even stronger, before I finally leaped.

"Woah-ly shit!" I shout, launching myself higher than the trees that surrounded me. About four times higher, in fact. I began to feel slightly worried as I started to descend again, but I quickly landed and the worry faded. Next, I wanted to try jumping with a running start. I began to run forward for a bit, waiting a few minutes just to see if I would tire out, but I didn't. I prepared another jump, and after holding it for a second, I leaped again.

I was thrown above the trees again, but it was only half as high as my second jump this time. What I failed to notice before I jumped was the stone wall I was approaching at high speeds. Not really wanting to slam into another wall, I tried my best to stop myself with my feet as I was still ascending, resulting in me running up the wall and even gaining momentum without slamming holes into the wall. As I neared the top, I decided to try something mega stupid.

Right at the edge, I jumped again, which threw me away from the wall and back in the direction of all the trees. I somehow managed to twist my body mid-air and land my feet onto a tree branch from really high up. Unfortunately, it turns out I was heavier than I thought, and ended up breaking the branch as soon as I landed on it, making me fall the rest of the way. The moment I was on the branch, however, allowed me to tilt my body forward for a moment. I curled into a ball and rolled as I hit the ground, Mirror's Edge style.

As I was still pumped up from what I did, I continued to run after my roll, turned around, and jumped at the wall again, but this time as I reached the top, I leaned down, which was actually forward as I was running up a wall, and I grabbed the edge of it, throwing me over the edge and landing me on the top of the thick ass wall. Only then did I finally stop, nearly tripping as I slowly decreased my speed.

And then I laughed.

"WOOOOO!" I shouted, throwing my arms up. "That felt fucking amazing! I never felt so alive!"

After running around the forest some more, I decided I needed to eat. I didn't feel hungry, but maybe I was still hungry without the sensation of feeling it. With my new invincibility, speed, and agility, it probably wouldn't be hard to catch something myself. Yeah, I would have to figure out how to cook an animal, but it can't be that hard, right? Slowing down my speed and stopping myself near the other side of some bushes. I hid and waited, stilling myself from movement. It was surprisingly easy to do so, could it be one of my powers?

I sat and waited for a while. Longer than I thought I had the patience for, and during the entire thirteen minutes I was hidden, I hadn't moved an inch. I seriously doubted I was even breathing at this point.

Do I even need to breath?

The nearby bushes rustled, and instantly had my full attention. I moved only my eyes, but not my body, in fear of startling whatever creature lay beyond my vision. Out jumped a squirrel, and I knew he would be a difficult bastard to catch. Making sure I was unnoticeable, I very quietly and stealthily waited for him to come closer.

The squirrel, being the dumb ass it is, actually did, eventually. It still wasn't close enough, but I wanted that squirrel so damn bad, I was determined at this point.

The moment it hopped closer again, I was already leaping out of my hiding spot.

"YEET, MOTHER FUCKER!" I shouted, catching the small animal in my bare hands, instantly pulling it closer. When I landed, I rolled into a crouching position. The problem was that I wasn't the only being in this forest after this squirrel, as a lone timberwolf jumped out of the bushes after I did, landing before me and growling at me.

"Hey, fuck off, this is my meal." I say as seriously as possible, looking down at the squirrel. But when I looked, I saw something that surprised me.

The squirrel was shaking. Not like it was squirming to escape, no, but it was looking up at me with the most fear I've ever seen in an animal's eyes. Way more emotion than I was willing to handle.

"...Damn it, you're too cute to eat." I say, more softly now. Still holding the squirrel, I lift myself into a standing position, hoping my height alone would scare away the timberwolf. But because it's a dumb animal, it decided it wanted a fight.

It leaped at me, and in the instant it was close enough, I raised my knee right under it's open mouth, shutting it and even crushing it's wooden lower jaw into it's upper snout, actually leaving a few splinters in my knee that I couldn't even feel. That one action alone knocked the timberwolf into a branch above me as well, before it fell and quickly tried to scamper off, whimpering.

I caught it by it's tail, and pulled the wooden wolf back towards me. When it turned it's head around, I decide to scare it away instead, hoping it'll teach the others to leave me alone.

"Listen here you little shit." I start, getting my face right into it's own. "I don't like being attacked, but you didn't know, so I'll let this slide, just this once. However, if any one of you come back, I will not hesitate to shred you on a molecular level."

Needless to say, it ran off after that.

Chapter 3

After dropping the cute squirrel, I decided I would eat when I actually feel hungry, and I took a long stroll back to where I saw and jumped around that giant stone wall, as that was most likely the old castle. I'm gonna make that castle my temporary home, at least until I find out how to introduce myself to the locals. That being the ponies, of course. I've already figured out I'm before season one, because, why else would Nightmare Moon still be on the moon? Anyways, I might have to wait out until they all start welcoming Zecora, as at that time they'll probably be more accepting.

As I arrive back at the wall, I decide to stop by the Tree of Harmony, if I can find it. I probably need to go around the wall and reach the other side of the castle to find the cave. So I do that, find the bridge, which as of right now hasn't fallen yet, and casually step off the ledge, falling down below. I turn around, and there it was, right inside the little cave. I walk forward, but stop before it, simply admiring how pretty it is to see in person. I know it's kind of sentient, so I wave at it with a smile, and turn back.

Instead of using the stairs like a normal person, I hop up and start running back up the wall near where I dropped off. Using the same trick of grabbing the edge at the top, I lift myself up and enter the castle doors. Inside was very old and dusty, obviously, but I didn't want to mess with the rooms the Mane Six entered, in fear of fucking the timeline up too much. I instead go to find a room I don't remember seeing in the show, and hopefully I can fix it up a bit, or find a spot that's in a well enough condition to sleep in.

Deciding it's best to leave everything where it is, I walk over to the corner of a random room, and sit with my back against the wall, and my head leaning against the other wall. One thing I knew for sure was that I needed sleep. I didn't feel tired, but having your brain constantly running twenty-four seven is never good. So I closed my eyes, and thought to myself,

I ain't waking up till it's fucking noon.

I blearily opened my eyes, remembering all the craziness from the previous night. The low growl was alarming to me, as I still didn't feel hungry. And I didn't feel my stomach rumble. And it sounded like it came from my right. Turning my head, who do I see but that damn manticore that chased me off the cliff.

"Hey, sorry for saying fuck you, but you did start chasing me first." I say, not even blinking at him. The manticore didn't seem to understand this, and instead raised it's probably poisonous scorpion tail. I was still a bit out of it for some reason, but I was awake enough to try to move out of the way. Moving was probably the wrong thing to do, as the moment I did, the manticore struck, stabbing me in my left shoulder. It actually went in pretty deep.

Now I could tell it was poisonous, as my brain basically activated every alarm. Eyes wide, I karate chopped the end of his tail with my right hand, taking it clean off, but the end was still stuck in my shoulder. The manticore, seeing it's own tail cut of with ease, was enraged. It tried to swipe at me, but now that I was in alert mode, I was faster. I jumped up from my sitting position next to the wall, and then jumped again, off the wall, landing myself behind the piece of shit.

When it turned around clockwise to face me, I threw a left hook, slamming my fist right into the side of it's face. I apparently hit it hard enough to daze it, so I jumped back, and ran right out of the room. going down the hall, I could already hear the beast chasing me again. I knew I could outrun it already, but it would just find me again. I ripped out the poison tail out of my shoulder, and instead of throwing it, I jammed it into one of my jean's pockets. Maybe Zecora could use it as an ingredient for a potion or something if I ever meet her.

If not, I'll put it on a fucking necklace to celebrate my victory and assert my dominance.

The manticore let out a crazy loud roar from behind, and apparently outrunning it would be more difficult this time, because the halls are open enough for it to use it's wings. I really tried to run faster and pump myself into overdrive, but I was already in overdrive and I couldn't do shit. I'd either have to hide, or fight, and I was starting to not like the idea of fighting it.

That was a lie, because in the back of my head I knew how bad-ass it would be if I took it down. I don't really know if the poison was going to be a problem for me yet, but I didn't want to risk it while fighting that thing.

Oh shit I can feel it's breath now, that's really scary! My instincts told me to jump, and who was I to argue? Leaping high enough to almost reach the ceiling, I descended at once and landed right on the fucker's back. I was riding it now.

"LISTEN HERE YOU DICK, I AM GOING TO RIDE YOU UNTIL YOU TIRE OUT that sounded really sexual, I am so, so sorry!" I say, punching it in the back of the head. I couldn't pull the manticore by it's horns because it didn't have any, despite the one at Trixie's show having horns. Wait, why do I remember that? GAH, FOCUS DAMN IT.

I grabbed it by it's mane and I pulled hard, a few hairs even coming loose and staying in my grasp. I didn't care much though, as I steered it around by pulling it's head in different directions. At this point the manticore has stopped flying forward, and is now slowly lowering itself to the ground as it tries to knock me off. One it fully lands I throw both of my hands down, still holding onto its hair, allowing me to slam it's face into the ground. I do it again for good measure.

And once more for good luck.

The manticore stops, finally knocked out, and I slowly steady my breath, allowing the mental exhaustion of that fight to catch up to me as I lean to the side, completely falling off the manticore and landing on my back. Laying there for a few minutes, I finally sit up and think to myself one thing.

"Damn."