Equestria vs. Joe Bucks

by Sandstorm94

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Discord, Sex, Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe
Length: 6026

A clopfiction writer is charged by Princes Twilight Sparkle of breaking multiple laws... This is a short account of the trial.

Joe Bucks, human, respectable businessman, clopfiction writer. To many, his works are golden, and has earned a large following over time. However, when a certain princess bookhorse takes him to trial, she is in for a rude awakening.

DISCLAIMER: This is not meant to be a slam piece for clop writers nor cloppers themselves (I will go on record and say that I am both), this was a commission piece done for fun.

By the way, I checked with a site moderator before approving, so the T+sex tag is clear

Published 2019-04-04 18:50:02 UTC
Last updated 2019-04-04 18:50:02 UTC

The Trial

EXTRA! EXTRA!

Canterlot, Equestria

Princesses Celestia and Luna, the Royal Sisters of Equestria, have called for the trial of the human Joe Bucks, on multiple accounts of the following charges:

Indecent Exposure
Public Nudity in the presence of minors
Incest
Shameless masturbation in public areas
Rape
PTSD inducing trauma (a separate charge filed on Fluttershy's behalf)
and trying to force minors to have intercourse

The processor, Discord, the ex-Lord of Chaos, has arranged for the trial to be broadcasted all over Equus and Joe's home planet of Earth. If found guilty, the defendant will have to serve hard labor in the Crystal Mines, and all who have done the same charges will be brought to justice. Court will be held at noon Celestial Standard Time, which is 6 pm Eastern Standard Time on Earth…

Canterlot was a bustling city. From the filled shops to the inns with no vacancy, there was more activity than normal in Equestria’s capital. Creatures of all kinds, from dragons, to yaks, to even the occasional changeling darted along the glistening streets, all heading to the castle to witness a historical moment.

It was the trial of the millennium, not just on Earth, but also on Equus as well. Never before in recorded history had a trial carry so many ramifications as the one taking place. Equestria vs. Joe Bucks had been met with initial opposition, primarily by a vast majority of the human population. However, as the proceedings had progressed, numerous people had switched their stance, now wanting to see the human on the stand taken away to where he would never again see the light of day. The courtroom itself was packed, the first few rows of seats reserved for the press of both worlds, and even up in the balcony, an air of heaviness and anticipation had settled in.

Sitting at the plaintiff table was Twilight Sparkle. The Princess of Friendship had been the one to spearhead the movement from the beginning, her well-known status and outreach led to a peaceful march on Capitol Hill, which was the final straw in the United States relenting and allowing the trial to take place.

“Ladies and Gentleman, Mares and Gentlestallions,” Discord said, the whole room falling quieter than the moon. “We are gathered here today for the trial of Joe Bucks of Earth. As per accordance with the trial treaty, this will serve as his interrogation, since everything was mandated to be done in public and taped. Please rise for our Honorable Judge, who requested his name to be withheld.”

In unison, everyone stood as the judge made his way in. Even under the cover of a large, black and white collared cloak, it was easy to tell the figured was bipedal with a wide shoulder span.

“You may all be seated, and Joe may come up to the stand.” The judge said, his deep baritone reverberating off the walls of the courtroom as Joe took his seat. “Princess Twilight Sparkle, you may have the floor.”

“Thank you, Your Honor,” Twilight said, giving a courtesy now before trotting over in front of Joe. “Before I begin, I have to ask, where is your lawyer?”

“I don't have one, Your Highness,” Joe said, his tone level and making Twilight slightly surprised at the title used. “I want it on record that I turned down numerous council requests, including lawyers who have worked with several high profile cases dealing with multiple Presidents of the United States. I believe that, due to the fact I see myself as not guilty, I have the right to defend myself just as others have done in the court of law.”

“Very noble of you,” Twilight said, giving a slight nod. “However, the laws here in Equestria are different. If on the rare instance a case has to go to a public trial, the defendant must be appointed counsel. Considering that this is taking place in Equestrian court, our law stands.”

“Where am I supposed to find a lawyer on such short notice then?” Joe said, arching an eyebrow at the alicorn. “My arrest was public, my arraignment was public, yet, not once has that detail been brought up. That to me shows this is a mistrial because I was not fully prepared, so, either postpone until I can get someone from Earth or have somepony with a law degree defend me.”

Twilight froze, her dart darting around the room as Discord shook his head in amused disapproval. Around the courtroom, murmurs started to rise, until the judge banged on his gavel twice.

“Order in the court,” The judge said, and it was easy to tell by the way his posture changed that he was now glaring down at the Princess of Friendship. “Is the defendant's claims true Princess Twilight?”

“Y-yes, they are Your Honor,” Twilight said, her stance wilting as her wings drooped to her sides and she looked down at the floor. “I misjudged by not informing the defendant of that law, I incorrectly assumed that their courts were the same way, so it was common knowledge.”

“In light of your actions, I grant the defendant's request.” The judge said, hitting his gavel once. “The defendant is to be given proper time to get his council, unless somepony in the audience is willing to do so.”

“I'll do it!” The voice was unmistakable, and as the speaker bounced onto her hooves, all eyes turned to her with mixed reactions. The ponies in the audience looked at Pinkie with a mix of anger and shock, the humans surprise, and Twilight looked at her friend with a look of utter betrayal.

“Eu tu Pinkie?” Twilight said, her tone soft as her eyes spoke a silent plea of protest. “Why?”

“Silly filly, because of the fact it is unfair to not give proper warning in any trial, especially one of this magnitude.” Pinkie said, booping Twilight on the nose before pulling her numerous degrees out of her mane and setting them in front of the judge. “I motion to be named as the defendant, Joe Bucks’, council for the remaining duration of the trial.”

“You certainly have the pedigree,” The judge said, scanning through each document in full before giving the party mare the papers back. “Very well, if there are no objections, the motion carries.”

Nopony dared to say a word.

“Yay! This means I get to have an ‘S-ranked case’ party!” Pinkie gleamed, speeding out the room in a pink blur before returning in a well-formed business suit. “Of course, that is in case we win after all, you may proceed with interrogating my client Princess Twilight.”

“Uh? Oh, right…” It took nearly three minutes for Twilight's demeanor to return, and when it did, it looked as it had never left. “May we start with your full name please.”

“Joe Matthew Bucks.”

“Thank you, Mr. Bucks,” Twilight said, pacing in front of the bench. “Are you aware as to what transpired on October 10th, 2010?”

“I think all of Earth knows, Your Highness,” Joe said, a slight smile coming to his face. “Correct me if I am wrong, but wasn't it the day that Equus and Earth became linked due to a rare lineup in your Solar System, combined with Princess Luna's return, that triggered some sort of magical feedback through the fabric of the multiverse?”

“Er… that's the simplest explanation, but yeah,” Twilight said, coughing slightly as she rubbed her foreleg. “And what came about as a result?”

“Advances on both worlds, and a reality show featuring you and your friends.” Joe said, a matter-of-fact tone emphasizing his words. “Why?”

“Would you agree that both worlds have had a beneficial relationship?” Twilight asked, stopping in front of the jury panel while cutting her eyes to Joe. “Well, for the most part anyway?”

“Very much so,” Joe said, nodding as he spoke. “I think that has been in part due to how adorably cute you ponies are.”

“Ah!” Twilight said, grinning as she leveled a wing in the accused's direction. “If you think we are so cute, then did you, Joe, aka L3S13IAN Starkle, write the first ever ‘mature’ fiction about us and founded the cloppers?”

“First of all, I didn't ‘found’ the clopper movement,” Joe said, letting out an annoyed sigh that able to be heard by all present and picked up on audio. “That was an indirect result of what I wrote. To get to the question though, I wrote it out of depression.”

“Depression?” Twilight scoffed, shaking her head. “Who writes mature fiction because of being depressed? That story you wrote about my brother and mother was downright perverted, and you call yourself a good person in the community?!”

Somewhere in the audience, Twilight Velvet gave a hidden, disappointed look at her daughter.

“Your Honor,” Pinkie said, raising her hoof politely like a filly in grade school. “Motion for the plaintiff to either be dismissed or stay on track. She is letting her personal connection and bias affect her duty and judgment.”

“Motion carries,” The judge said, pointing his gavel at the lavender alicorn and to Twilight it felt as if the world was now pressing down on her. “Stay impartial, or I will have you removed and replaced by Starlight Glimmer. This is your final straw, do you understand me?”

“Yes, Your Honor,” Twilight said, clearing her throat as she shook that uncomfortable feeling off her body. “Now, to rephrase, why do you say that depression was the trigger?”

“Because I was left at the altar in a very ugly fashion,” Joe said, and the minute those words left his lips the whole mood of the room plummeted. “She threw our engagement ring at me when we were about to exchange our vows, then eloped with my younger brother. I was devastated, and since I was ‘in that mood’ I wrote that revenge clop story to blow off steam. I honestly had no idea it was going to take off like it did, nor gain the following.”

“And your other stories?” Twilight said, carefully wording her statement to keep from being thrown in contempt. “What of them?”

“Money mostly,” Joe sighed, propping his elbows in front of him. “After that story took off, that was it, there was no going back. I had request after request being sent to me to write more of those kinds of stories, some resulting in a large payout. What you, and I think most, don't understand is I don't actually believe in the things I write. The rape fics for example, in truth rape is against my morals, but it was what the commissioner called for. Granted, there are some scenes I write that even I ‘get into’, but those are few and far between.”

“I see…” Twilight's tone remained level, but still didn't lose its edge. “So, basically you sold yourself out to make a quick bit?”

Joe said nothing, but the way he glanced at his feet told Twilight all she needed to know.

“I believe,” Twilight said, taking a small breath. “We can take a recess. I have no further questions for the defendant.”

“Very well,” The judge said, tapping his gavel. “We shall take a two-hour recess for the sides to get their testimonies together.”

The court visitors soon dispersed, the journalists scattering out to get interviews from various members of the audience as they went out into the foyer. Twilight, declining all opportunities to interview, made her way to a vacant bedroom that she had converted into a makeshift office.

“How are you feeling dear?” Velvet asked, approaching her daughter as she entered the room. “You don't look well.”

“I'm fine mother,” Twilight said, closing the door with her magic as she unceremoniously flopped onto the bed. “Just a bit torn.”

“Starting to regret all of this?” Velvet said, a knowledgeable tone creeping into her voice as Twilight buried her muzzle in her wings. “You are in too deep, and this is far too big, to even think about motioning for acquittal. This is something that you have to deal with.”

“I know mom,” Twilight said, flinching slightly as her mom joined her on the bed, nuzzling her cheek. “Its just… do you think I made a mistake?”

“Yes and no,” Velvet said, stroking her daughter's back with her magic. “I don't think you made a mistake in wanting to protect your family's honor, but I think you did make a hasty mistake by pushing as hard as you did, as quick as you did.”

“I just wanted to protect yours and Shiny's good name,” Twilight said, relaxing at her mother's touch. “That's all I wanted, to prove a point that nopony is a sexual object or means of obsession. By nipping it right in the bud, it would show that I mean business and my title is not just a moniker.”

“Twilight dear, everyone is different,” Velvet said, turning Twilight's head so they were face to face. “There are some ponies who would be thrilled to find out that someone is attracted to them in that way, even if they are human.”

“Like Lyra?”

“Bingo,” Velvet said, chuckling under her breath as she saw her daughter's eyes shine with realization. “Just as I'm sure there are humans that would like the thought of somepony giving them comfort on some lonely, cold night. Overall, you did the right thing, but I think you still need to give him a personal apology when this is all said and done.”

“Were you offended by what he wrote mom?” Twilight said, a frown forming at the corners of her lips. “By that story I mean…”

“Are you kidding me?” Velvet said, a full-belly laugh coming from her that made Twilight nearly jump off the bed. “That was one of the most creative and detailed stories I ever read! The way he flowed from situation to situation, then capped it off with that climax, made my literary juices burn in pure envy. It was freaking hot.”

“Mom!” Twilight said, her cheeks turning scarlet. “You realize you are talking about a scene dealing with your son doing something only dad should do? Or, even better, only he should be doing with Cadance?”

“I just imagined Night in place of Shiny, worked like a charm,” Velvet said, a smirk forming as Twilight's wings went rigid. “Did you even bother looking through the whole stories, or did you stop because of finding one scene offensive?”

“Uh,” Twilight said, frozen in place from her mother's gaze. “Pass?”

“So you're telling me, that the same filly who once wrote a letter of complaint to Princess Celestia for forgetting a Mitsford comma in a tax law, didn't read the evidence all the way through?” Velvet's tone was soft, but the weight behind it was more than enough for Twilight’s legs to start wobbling. “I suggest you start to go through them, just in case the jury or judge calls into question facts from a specific story. You have two hours, so I will take my leave.”

Once alone in the room, Twilight hurried over to her desk. Copies of each story, with the accusation paragraphs highlighted in purple, cluttered the normally-neat oak furniture. She picked up the first one, one dealing with her and Sombra, and began to read…

“Where is she?”

That was the question on everyone’s minds. The two-hour limit had come and gone fifteen minutes prior, and there was still no sign of Twilight. A guard had been sent to her office room, only to report that she had found the room locked and the faint smell of lavender coming from under the door. A state of nervousness was starting to build, evident by everypony fidgeting in their seats and the continuous glancing back towards the entrance to the courtroom. Just as another guard was about to be dispatched, Twilight finally entered.

“Sorry about that everypony,” Twilight said, a look of sincerity and embarrassment showing on her face and in her eyes. “I decided to take a shower and lost track of time, that's why my coat still looks a little damp.”

Sure enough, her entire coat, mane, and tail were matted. The ambient light in the room reflected off the moisture, giving her an appearance that fit her last name before she used a quick drying spell as she took her seat.

“Now that all parties are accounted for, we may begin the trial process.” The judge said, pointing his gavel at Twilight. “Plaintiff, you may call your first witness to the stand.”

“I call upon my brother,” Twilight said, the unicorn rising from his seat and taking his place before Twilight continued. “Please state your name and rank for the court.”

“Shining Armor, husband and Royal Consort to Princess Mi Amore Cadenza of the Crystal Empire.” Shining said, answering in the manner that Cadance had taught him in preparation. “Brother of Princess Twilight Sparkle, son of Twilight Velvet, who is the head of the House of Twilight.”

“Very well,” Twilight said, nodding once her brother finished listing the proper titles. “Can you please tell the court how you felt about Exhibit A, Page 34, Sentence 69?”

“At first, I was very angry.” Shining said, suppressing a slight shudder. “I mean, I never would even think about doing those things to my mother, and who in their right mind would?”

Murmurs spread, so did Twilight's grin.

“If, by some chance,” Twilight said, feeling confident for the first time in hours. “You were the judge, and this was your call, how would you sentence the defendant?”

“Gelded,” Shining's tone was cold, causing every male to simultaneously cross their legs. “In public, with rusted garden shears.”

“I have no further questions, Your Honor,” Twilight said, moving back to her table. “Defendant, it is your witness.”

“Okie Dokie Loki!” Pinkie said, ponking across the floor before looking into Shining's eyes with a look so fierce Windegos would run in fear. “You say you wouldn't do those things to your mother, correct? How about, oh say, it was writing with Princess Cadance and you instead?”

“I would be a wonderful night of course,” Shining said, a cold, nervous sweat forming on him as Twilight slightly gulped. “Cady asked me do do that as some… ‘playtime’.”

“So, just so we're clear,” Pinkie said, sitting on her haunches. “You would have my client gelded for something that you would perform with your wife? Wouldn't that also mean, you would have yourself gelded for performing the, quote ‘things not in the right mind’?”

“Objection!” Twilight blurted, jumping up from her seat as all eyes in the room fell on her. “She is leading the witness.”

“Overruled,” The judge said, clearly impatient. “Answer the question Prince Armor.”

“Err, when you put it that way, no,” Shining said, looking uncomfortable. “I would not.”

“No further questions.” Pinkie said returning to her seat. “I got the answer I was looking for.”

“I'm that case, Prince Armor, you're dismissed.” The judge said, turning towards Twilight as her brother returned to his seat. “Does the Plaintiff have any more witness to call on?”

“I got one,” Twilight said, turning towards the corner of the room. “Please come to the stand Fluttershy, I promise that you won't be judged for testifying.”

Slowly but surely, the shy yellow pegasus made her way through the crowd. Everyone knew how fragile she was, having been warned by Discord beforehand, so out of respect they didn't look directly at her. Even the television personnel adjusted their angle, still having the mare in the shot, but was aimed more towards the jury.

“Fluttershy,” Twilight said, approaching the stand and holding her friend's hoof. “Can you please tell the court why you decided to file for trauma compensation?”

“W-well,” Fluttershy said, her voice barely being picked up by the audio team. “I-its just… The things he wrote about me scared me, and I have a written affidavit from Princess Luna verifying the accounts of my nightmares.”

“Do you have the affidavit?” Twilight asked, taking the document in her magic once Fluttershy presented it. “Let's see here… 17 nights straight having the same are occurring nightmare, and by the last one-”

Twilight stopped reading, a vibrant blush coming to her cheeks as she silently scanned over the remainder of the affidavit. It was clear to her that Fluttershy had not read the document, for it told things with tentacle vines that anyone under the age of twenty would not approve of, but erotic authors like her mother would enjoy far too much.

“I-is something wrong?” Fluttershy said, hiding in her mane. “Do you see why I have PTSD now?”

“I can't even…” Twilight said, exasperly flailing her wings. “This isn't PTSD, I think it is just a case of you not wanting to accept the fact you have a tentacle vine fetish.”

The entire courtroom went dead silent, Fluttershy turning a deep shade of crimson before promptly fainting on the stand.

“Can I take her home real quick Your Honor?” Discord asked, looking at the passed out pegasus with concern. “I will have Harry keep an eye on her.”

“Granted,” The judge said, Discord teleporting himself and Fluttershy away before returning a few minutes later. “Does the Plaintiff have any more witness?”

“No, Your Honor,” Twilight said, trying to make herself look small in her seat. “The defense may call their witnesses, but I doubt that they have any.”

“That is where you are wrong Twilight,” Pinkie said, pointing towards a section of the crowd. “I call Silver Spoon and Sweetie Belle to the stand.”

That got Twilight's, and everyone else's, attention. The two fillies, along with Diamond Tiara, wore a brave face as they trotted towards the stand, unphased by the looks the shocked adults were giving them and acting as if the cameras weren't there.

“Objection!” Twilight said, leveling a hoof at Diamond Tiara. “She was not called as a witness, so she has no business going to the stand.”

“Sustained,” The judge said, looking at Diamond. “Miss Tiara, you have to wait in your seat unless called upon.”

“Fine,” Diamond grumbled, giving Silver Spoon an apologetic look before returning to her seat.

“Okie Dokie then,” Pinkie said standing on her hind hooves as she casually leaned back in front of the defendant's table. “Do both of you know why you're here today?”

Both fillies gave a firm nod, their eyes fixed towards the party mare.

“Good,” Pinkie said, grabbing a bound stack of papers labeled ‘Exhibit F’. “One by one, please tell everyone how you felt about being the subject of this story.”

“I found it interesting,” Silver Spoon said, blowing a few strands of her mane out of her face. “It really does present a good question more than anything, a true ‘what if’ for when that period in our life comes.”

“It may be a taboo, but if your look at it just as a story, it is really well written.” Sweetie said, rubbing her leg. “Besides, I have read far worse stories than that. Are you forgetting who my sister is? Or, better yet, the fact Twilight's mom is the best selling erotica novelist in Equestria? That story is tame, and to be perfectly honest, I would entertain the idea of me and Silver being a couple when we get older.”

“May I have the witnesses?” Twilight said, earning a nod from a very uncomfortable-looking Pinkie Pie. “Sweetie, you are just a filly, why are you reading those kinds of stories anyway? There are laws on the record, and rules on the ethernet, that are there for the sole purpose of preventing fillies, colts, and human children from having access to that kind of material.”

“So?” Sweetie said, crossing her forehooves. “For every rule there is a loophole, for every firewall there are ways to breach. Need age verification? Simply lie. There are many secrets to the mind Twilight, and I like to compare how two different individuals with the same idea can spin out totally different outcomes.

Mr. Joe's works may be an abomination to most, and broke multiple laws, but if you compare it to other works he is a good guy. Some people, and ponies for that matter, have darker minds than him. You think this trial is going to solve anything? In a way, it will, because you would be judging the innocents who write for fun along with the ones who truly deserve justice to be leveled upon them. Is it fair for you to condemn all humans, or all cloppers, just because of a personal opinion?”

“Umm…” Twilight said, her sense of direction crashed to a standstill. She had not expected Sweetie to go philosopher, but the filly had raised some good points, points that she could tell that the jury were pondering over as well. “I guess you do have a point there Sweetie, but you are still too young to be reading mature stories.”

“You think I'm the only one who does?” Sweetie said, her tone turning slightly sour. “I may still be in grade school, and occasionally get in trouble with my friends, but I am still smart enough to know where foals come from. That is where the education system lacks because, in my opinion, by slowly introducing and teaching about those things it will lead to a cut down in the crimes rates associated with rape and sexual assault.”

“On one hoof, you may be right,” Twilight said, nodding as she conceded the point. “But on the other, it could make things worse. A filly's reproductive system isn't fully developed until around the time they enter the various scholar schools available through Equestria. Don't get me wrong, I do see your point, but curiosity is a very dangerous thing to have, and could inadvertently lead to an increase in unwanted and underage pregnancies.”

“Oh…” Sweetie said, her ears falling flat as she looked at the floor. “I didn't think of that.”

“And nopony is going to judge you for suggesting that,” Twilight said, catching herself as she saw a few adults whispering between themselves. “Ok, so a few might, but if you can't take it then report them to the authorities.”

“I will,” Sweetie said, a hug from Silver Spoon helping to improve her mood. “Do you have anymore questions for me?”

“Yeah I do, ”Twilight said, taking a pause so she could recollect herself. “You say that you have read worse, correct?”

“Yes”

“Ok then,” Twilight said, chewing her lip as she thought about how to phrase her question. “Then, umm, let's say you visit Earth. You are enjoying your vacation, having a good time, when a clopper obsessed over you approaches. How do you react?”

“One question, yet many answers,” Sweetie said, her confidence returning as she thought about the scenario in her mind. “It really does depend on the circumstances. If they just wanted my autograph, or just wanted to talk to me, I would be more than happy to do so. However, if they wanted to try and pull something sexual… imagine a grape being squished in the frog of your hoof.”

“So you have no mind being the center of attention?” Twilight said, trying to get that disturbing image out of her head. Granted, she was a mare and didn't have that equipment, but the image was vivid enough to get the idea. “Or have fans thinking of you ‘in that way’?”

“No, and why should I?” Sweetie said, a slight huff escaping her lips. “As long as they don't actually try anything, it isn't my business what somebody fantasizes. Do I think it is wrong they think of minors as sexual objects? Yes, I do, but that is what therapy is for to try and get rid of those urges. As far as the attention is concerned, we are all on that human show that documents our lives, and you being a princess you're going to have that regardless.

Look around you Twilight, everypony and every human is different in their own way, but we all have things we fantasize about. Me? I fantasize about being a popular singer and performing in front of crowds, just as you probably have something that hits that certain niche. In those moments, you have to ask yourself is this real life or a fantasy, and have to decide for yourself what is what.”

“I have no further questions, Your Honor,” Twilight said, returning to her seat as the two fillies got up from the bench, Sweetie Belle receiving a standing ovation.

“Does the defense have any more witnesses?” The judge asked, and when Pinkie shook her head no, he nodded. “The jury is now dismissed to go debate the verdict, you all may wait in the lobby outside.”

At the tap of his gavel, the crow dispersed once more. Unlike the confident, excited demeanor that Pinkie was showing, Twilight felt horrible. Her mother's pretrial words came back to her, and Sweetie's speech on the stand only deepened the pit of guilt that had formed in her. Upon reaching the door, she saw everyone was clamoring, and once she saw the reason why her jaw dropped.

“Celestia,” Twilight said, the crowd parting so she could freely move towards her former mentor and teacher. “What are you doing here? I thought you were on vacation with Luna.”

“We still are Twilight,” Celestia said, a large sun hat rested in place of her crown, and a coconut was suspended in her magic. “The Baahamas are lovely this time of year, and the Lunar Bliss mixed cider with coconut milk is simply divine, but I came here for a different reason.”

When two ponies know each other for a long time, some things can be said without words. Pegasi often communicated in this manner by using subtle wing motions, unicorns by flicking magic into their horn in a pattern pulse, and Earth Ponies by using different fruits and vegetables in basket exchanges. However, when two ponies were extremely close, just the look in each other's eyes was enough to get the message across. As Twilight looked into Celestia's majestically purple eyes, she saw something that she had become familiar with over the last few hours.

Disappointment.

“The trial no doubt,” Twilight said, earning a slight nod from the older alicorn as she was led to a more private area of the castle. “Let's get this over with then.”

“Seems I'm not the first to talk to you today,” Celestia said, turning and looking at Twilight face to face. “On that note, I just want to say that you could have handled things vastly different if you had not jumped the shark in a meat cart.”

“I know,” Twilight said, huffing in agitation. “My mom already gave me a mini-lecture during the recess earlier. “I already know what the jury is going to vote, but I just wish somepony would see things from my point of view.”

“Did you think to privately consult with Mr. Bucks?” Celestial said, and after Twilight shook her head no she continued. “I don't want you to feel defeated by the result Twilight, use this a valuable lesson. Me and my sister aren't going to be ruling Equestria forever, and when that day comes, you’ll have to take the role full time instead of just temporary like it is now. You have to accept defeat, after all, Chrysalis beat us all more than once. As a ruler, things aren't going to go your way all the time, so you have to learn to move on from it. In a way, this trial was nothing more than a glorified shower argument, one that you were going to lose from the beginning.”

“Figured as much after every witness seemed to backfire,” Twilight grumbled, tracing a circle on the floor with a hoof. “I'm the Princes of Friendship, not the Princess of Trials.”

“However, trials are part of everypony’s life, even yours.” Celestia said, placing a wing over Twilight's back. “Considering the circumstances, you did your best, but the question is how do you plan on improving yourself going forward, in addition to giving reparations to Mr. Bucks?”

“Well, an apology for starters, and go from there.” Twilight said, leaning into the winghug as they made their way back towards the foyer. “It is the least I can do to set things right.”

“Good,” Celestia said, giving Twilight a nuzzle before moving her wing back to her side. “I must be off now, I wish you nothing but the best and good luck Twilight.”

Every reporter stared at Twilight, and she stared back at every reporter. For a few moments, not even the crowd stirred as they waited in anticipation to see who was going to make the first move.

“Princess Twilight,” A pegasus said, moving to the front of the group before dipping into a now. “I'm Private Insert of the Canterlot GUARDian, do you believe that Princess Celestia was drinking just now?”

“She is on vacation, she pretty much can do as she pleases.” Twilight said, a furious scribbling reaching through the vicinity. “However, if I find even one negative piece that is focused on her drinking, there will be severe repercussions for not only the writer, but the paper itself.”

All at once, papers flared with fire.

“May I have your attention,” Discord said, opening the doors. “But the jury has come to a decision, you all may enter the courtroom once more.”

Unlike the previous recess, Twilight kept her demeanor. Keeping her head and expression level, she led everybody back inside, each taking their seats as the judge cleared his throat.

“Has the jury reached a verdict?”

“We have, Your Honor,” The head juror, a Native American woman in her early 30s, said as she stood up with the result in her hand. “We the jury find the defendant, Mr. Joe Matthew Bucks, not guilty on all charges. However, we request the judge to add a stipulation that states in addition to the defendant's clop stories, he is to also write as an advocate against child predators, rape, sexual assault, and help promote causes related to helping victims of the items listed.”

“Do you have an issue with that?” The judge said, turning his head in a way that would show he was looking directly at Joe from under his hood.

“No I don't,” Joe said, nodding in approval. “I fully agree to the terms mandated by the jury.”

“Case dismissed,” The judge said, but before he could call the court to close, Pinkie raised her hoof. “What is it Pinkie?”

“As a representative of my client,” Pinkie said, pointing a hoof at Twilight. “We hereby counter sue for a sum of 50,000 bits on the grounds he lost his primary job, in addition to his reputation being tarnished as a result of this vastly unfair trial.”

The crowd thundered in disapproval, a vast majority of the ponies voicing their protests while simultaneously calling Pinkie everything from a traitor to a greedy sellout. One pony, feeling extremely bold, went as far as to throw her horseshoe at the party pony. The shoe, luckily, missed its target and the bold mare was immediately apprehended, but the judge had crossed the point of having enough.

”ORDER! ORDER! ORDER!” The judge boomed, everyone instantly cowering in fear. “I will not tolerate such behavior in my courtroom. Now, the defendant has the right to counter sue, just like in any other legal matter. That trial will take place a week from today, until then, you are all dismissed.”

Taking his leave, the judge rose from his seat to the flash of numerous cameras and the press erupting into a frenzy of questions that seemed to blur together. However, to Twilight, a single thought rose in her mind that made her surroundings fade into the background of her mind.

This is not going to end well…

Author's Note

I am not even going to bother with an author note... Here is the link to my Patreon.