Chapters Twilight yawned and stretched out along the bedding of straw, the rough material scratching at her underbelly unpleasantly. At first she tried to reposition herself to get more comfortable, but after a few seconds she realized that this wasn't her bed at all, and something was seriously wrong. She opened one eye, then the other, but couldn't see anything. Her house wasn't this dark, even at night. "Hello? Is anypony there? Where am I?" she called out, but even after an extended pause there was no response. The sheer darkness of the room seemed to absorb all the sound she made. She stood and began to search urgently for a wall, a door, a way out. She pressed her forehooves to the nearest wall, which wasn't far away, and began to circle the room. it was tiny, and completely smooth. No doors, no windows, she couldn't find anything except stone.
"Help! I'm trapped! Somepony! Anypony!" She cried, hoping that if she were louder she might be heard. Still no response. She felt alone, so very alone that it scared her. Why am I here, she thought, what did I do to deserve this? Have I upset the Princess? It seemed the only logical explanation to how she could end up in a cell like this, but what had she done? Maybe her last letter wasn't good enough, or maybe one of her friends had sent a letter saying bad things about her... She didn't think her friends would do something like that on purpose, but by accident it could certainly be possible. What if her friends were locked away too? She put two hooves to the wall and pushed against it in vain. She had to find a way out, even if it was the Princess who had locked her up! She took a deep breath, readying herself for the worst, and tried recalling a spell for lighting the darkness. But nothing happened. It was worse than the worst, she couldn't use her magic. Almost on reflex she reached one hoof up to feel her horn. It was still there, still perfectly intact, but for some reason it simply wouldn't respond to her will. It had to be some sort of magic, more powerful than her own. Without her magic she was helpless and hopeless... she started to feel very small.
"Awake at last, I see. I was wondering if you would ever wake up, it's been quite a while now." Came a voice through the darkness, a distinct voice that Twilight recognized immediately.
"C-Chrysalis? How...." she stammered, trying to find the right words to express her utter confusion. "What are you doing here? Where am I?"
"I am here to help you, Twilight. And you are here to help me." Chrysalis responded plainly.
"Help? You? You tried to enslave all of ponykind! Why would I ever help somepony like you?" Twilight tried to sound brave, but she was backed against the wall, her eyes darting back and forth but seeing no more than the darkness.
"Because, I can give you something you want. But to get that, I need you to help me get something I want. You see, I just want everyone to be happy. Your beloved princess doesn't seem to understand that."
Twilight shook her head, "You're evil, Chrysalis. I wouldn't help you if you were the last creature in Equestria."
"I was afraid you might already be too blinded by Celestia to listen. I suppose, in time, you will come to understand. All I really want is to be loved."
It had been another two nights without food. Twilight felt like she was wasting away. She had held out some small hope that her friends might save her, but it had been so long now... even that hope was fading. Chrysalis was right, she really was alone. Or was she? The thought clicked in her head, and she sat up. "Chrysalis? Chrysalis!?" she called out. Chrysalis must be watching her, somehow. Twilight just needed to get her attention. "Please, Chrysalis, I need food!"
"As do we all, child. But this time your food will not come so cheap. This time, I want to see just how much you would do for food." as Chrysalis spoke the room began to light up. Dim, but only for a moment before becoming blindingly bright. The walls themselves seemed to be glowing, and Twilight had to blink several times as her ill-adjusted eyes were hurt by the bright light. "There is a marking on the wall near you, behind that wall is another pony. Only one of you will be fed. Will you fight for your life, Twilight? I'm sure they will. Let us begin." As Chrysalis finished speaking, a wall near Twilight shimmered and faded away as if by magic. Beyond that was something Twilight had never expected.
"Ahm so hungry... Twi... Ya'll understand, Ah can't die here. Ah have a family to feed, what'll they do without me?" Applejack said, swaying from side to side as she approached the empty space between the two cells. She looked like she'd gone through hell, or worse. Patches of fur were falling off, and underneath that Twilight could see her bones through her skin. In some places she was bruised black and purple, as if beaten mercilessly, and in other places there were deep gashes. Some of them so fresh that she was dripping blood as she walked.
"Applejack, stop this! What happened to you? What's going on here?" Twilight panicked, moving farther and farther back until she was up against the wall behind her.
"Rainbow Dash..... Rarity... Pinkie Pie. I had to do it... I had to Twi..." a tear rolled down AJ's cheek as she continued to move, cornering Twilight.
"What are you talking about Applejack? Have you seen the others? Where are they?" Twilight was shaking, scared of what the answer might be.
“Ah killed them... Ah had to, Twi... don’t you see... ah have to...”
AJ was nearby now, and without warning she turned around, springing into action with a double kick that landed square against Twilight’s chest. The impact alone felt like it shattered Twilight, but it also left Applejack off balance. Twilight took the chance to push AJ’s hind hooves up, flipping AJ onto her back. “What do you mean you killed them, Applejack?! Don’t lie... don’t lie to me..” Twilight sobbed.
“Ah... ain’t lyin. Ah... ahm sorry Twi. Ah shouldn’ta done it. But Ahm so hungry.. Ah can’t do it anymore. Rainbow Dash... she didn’t even fight back... she wanted me to win. And ah... ah won. What have ah done.. Twi, what have ah done?” Applejack didn’t even try to stand up. She was clearly too far gone, she didn’t have the will or energy to keep going, “Kill me... Twi, ya gotta do it. Ah can’t live with what ah’ve done... Ah don’t wanna live...”
Twilight was shocked, and still in pain. If Applejack had been in any kind of good condition Twilight would have died too. But it just didn’t seem like Applejack, it couldn’t be. Her own friend... killing her other friends... how could she have done something so horrible? Twilight closed her eyes and shook her head, trying to clear the pain and confusion away, and when she opened them again Applejack was back on her feet, looking ready to fight again. “Please, Applejack, you have to stop...”
“If’n ah stop, Twi, then we’ll both die...” she sighed softly, tilting dangerously to one side before beginning a head-first charge at Twilight. It was clumsy though, and she jumped easily out of the way, only to watch AJ smash her own head against the wall. “And if ya got any sense in ya... ya’ll kill me before ah kill you.”
Blood was dripping from AJ’s forehead now, but that didn’t stop her from charging blindly in Twilight’s direction. Her hooves came up into the air, ready to smash down on Twilight with all their force, and in a moment of pure fear and instinct Twi angled her head and charged forward, stabbing AJ in the chest. “Oh no... I’m sorry! I’m sorry! Applejack?” Twilight felt the full weight of her friend over her head, and blood was already starting to drip down her horn and along her face. She made an effort of pushing her friend off, and in the process freeing her horn. “Applejack, say something!” Twilight cried, looking down at her motionless friend.
Chrysalis voice came again, “You see Twilight... even your friends can betray you. They have before, and they will again, given reason to do so. But, you don’t have many friends left, do you?”
Twilight didn’t care about Chrysalis right now. She was too grief-stricken that she had killed her own friend, and worse yet that her friend had killed her other friends. Tears streamed down her face endlessly, and it was all she could do to crawl over to the matress, and lie there. She closed her eyes, and sobbed until she fell asleep.
Twilight woke up, her eyes swollen from crying even in her sleep. She was scared to look at the room, but when she finally found the courage to it was completely clean. Even the bedding she normally slept on was gone. The only thing in the room was her... and a cake. Maybe it was a dream? At least, the killing AJ part... she couldn’t really kill AJ, could she? Twilight stood up, unsteady on her hooves, and slowly made her way to the cake. It seemed so out of place, after everything that had been happening. Still, she was very hungry, and cake is cake. Finally after what seemed like forever she was standing over the cake, and she could read what it said. Her heart sank like a stone.
‘They’re all dead now’
Underneath was a picture of Fluttershy’s head, gorified as if it had been beaten and then ripped right off the body. Twilight didn’t look long enough to take in any of the details. She felt absolutely sick.
Twilight woke up dry-heaving. There was nothing in her stomach to vomit, even though she felt violently ill. She looked at the corner of the room where the cake had been, but that was the dream. Instead the room was just completely white again as if nothing had happened. Twilight finally got hold of herself and sat up, “Chrysalis.... I don’t want to be here... just let me go. Please.. just let me go.”
“I can’t do that Twilight. Not until you understand. What you killed, what you thought you killed, was not real. But you thought it was real. Have you ever felt so alone before? So betrayed? Is that why you did it? No. You did it because it meant your survival. What you did was not evil. What you did was necessary. Your kind hates us because we feed on love, but that is what we must feed on. It does not make us evil, but yet you still brand us as such for it. Tell me, Twilight, knowing what you know now... am I truly evil?”
Twilight stared at the wall blankly, “You made me think I killed my friend, you made me feel like I was completely alone, and you keep hurting me in the worst possible ways... if that’s not evil then what is?”
“Doing it needlessly, of course. Everything I’ve done here has been to help you, and to help you help me. However, I can’t help you without first hurting you. Because without pain, you will never truly learn what I have to teach you. Don’t you see it, Twilight? Haven’t you learned anything yet?”
“I’ll never help you... you hurt ponies for your own selfish needs, you don’t care what happens to us...”
“I...” Chrysalis’ sigh could be heard throughout the room, “I was hoping you of all ponies would be able to learn; to keep an open mind. What good would it do me to hurt my food? I need pony’s love. If there’s no love in Equestria then there’s no food for my subjects and I.”
“That.. that doesn’t change anything.” Twilight paused for a moment to think it through, “Does it?”
“It changes everything, Twilight. I need the ponies of Equestria to be happy. By helping me, you’ll be helping to make every pony in the world happy. And in return, I will make you happy.”
“Make me happy? What do you mean?”
“I know the one you want. The one you love. She knows it too. But she doesn’t return your feelings, does she?”
Twilight shivered as if something had chilled her deep down. She knew that Chrysalis was talking about Celestia, because she was right. As much as Twilight cared about the Princess, she knew that she could never be with the Princess. Twilight simply said nothing.
“She sees you as a tool. A powerful one, yes, but a tool. She has trained you, shaped you to be the conduit for the elements of harmony. She has made you more than a tool, you are a weapon. Luna, Discord, she would have even had you turn them against me. She cares for you as her student, but she does not love you the way you want her to. If you help me to help all of Equestria, I can give you the means to help yourself.”
“I... I would never make the Princess do anything like that!” Twilight protested finally, coming to her senses. “If the Princess wants me to protect Equestria then I’m happy to do it. Besides.... I don’t need her to love me. I’m happy... being her student.”
“Are you truly happy, Twilight? Are you happy loving someone that doesn’t love you back?”
“I...” Twilight sobbed softly, not wanting to reply. She knew she was lying. She wanted to be more than just a student. More than a tool.
“Look upon my face, Twilight, and know that I only want to be loved by you. That’s all I would ask as your queen.”
Twilight looked up, and through teary eyes saw Chrysalis in the room with her, standing over her. After everything that had happened, Twilight didn’t have the strength to fight.
“I’ve brought your food, as well. I’ve made my point. I have no reason to let you starve.” Chrysalis stood off to the side, revealing a large plate of various foods and drinks. Even despite the Changeling’s presence, Twilight couldn’t help herself. She had to eat, and she would. She crawled around the edge of the room, avoiding Chrysalis as much as possible while she approached the food. Chrysalis simply stayed where she was, waiting. Finally, Twilight reached the food, and began to eat in earnest. It wasn’t until halfway through her meal that she realized Chrysalis was stroking her back with one hoof. Twilight tensed up at first, but after a few more bites she didn’t even care. She relaxed and finished the food and drink, then resigned to lie right there, being petted by Chrysalis.
Twilight awoke the next day, unsure of what had happened the day before. Chrysalis.... had been nice? At least she seemed to have been nice. It had to be a trick, Twilight thought, but why? She didn’t have the answer, and it didn’t really matter. At least now she wouldn’t starve, she thought, looking over to the freshly placed tray of food. It seemed Chrysalis was going to make good on her word.
There was so much food that Twilight didn’t even finish it all, instead taking to pacing around the room. She wasn’t sure what to do now. There was so much to think about, and consider. If Changelings needed love like ponies need food, then maybe they weren’t really evil. But that didn’t mean they should be allowed to steal love from the ones she cared about, did it? Twilight sighed and stared at the floor while she paced, thinking things over.
“Hello again, Twilight.”
Twilight looked up just in time to stop herself from running head first into Chrysalis’ chest, "Oh! H-hello..." she said, looking up for a brief moment before lowering her head to stare at Chrysalis' hooves.
"Have you thought about my offer?" Chrysalis said, smiling down at Twilight. She knew Twilight had thought about it quite a bit, and when Twilight nodded she continued to speak, "Well then, tell me what you think."
Twilight opened her mouth to say something, stopped, and then patted her hoof lightly against the ground. Did she really want to help Chrysalis? The Changeling that had ensnared her brother, and nearly enslaved all ponykind? She didn't seem to have changed, and if it meant protecting ponies like her brother and her friends... and Celestia... she would gladly face the wrath of Chrysalis. But what was she protecting them from? What did Chrysalis mean, that she wanted everypony to be happy? "I... I can't help you. I won't do it. Not now and not ever."
Chrysalis looked Twilight up and down with a sigh. "You still don't understand... I really wish you would give up and realize that my way is the better way. My way is the way of both pain and pleasure. Since you won't accept the pleasure I can only assume you want the pain." Chrysalis' horn began to glow brightly, and the glow surrounded Twilight as well. Twilight could feel a strange pressure all throughout her body, and before she could react she was thrown at and pinned to the wall by Chrysalis' magic. She tried to pull free, to use her magic, but neither gave her an inch. She was at the mercy of Chrysalis, just like she had imagined, facing her wrath, but Chrysalis didn't seem angry at all. It almost looked as though she preferred things to be this way, if her smile was anything to go by. "You see, Twilight, I could have had you at any point. We've been alone, and you're without magic or defenses. I could have bespelled you, and used you like a puppet." Chrysalis began, and as she spoke Twilight could feel a physical pressure on her chest as if someone had placed a hoof there. "But I didn't. And do you know why? Of course not, because clearly, you aren't thinking. I didn't use a spell to make you mine, because my magic can't make you love me." The pressure grew until it hurt, and though Twilight couldn't look down she was sure it was going to bruise at this rate. "But that doesn't matter if you refuse to understand me. Don't you see it? I care for you, Twilight, or I wouldn't go to such trouble for you." The pressure doubled, pushing all the air out of Twi's lungs, and making it hard to breathe. "Even now, the pain you feel is nothing, compared to the pain I feel inside, every time you deny me. Would I not make a fitting queen for you? Am I not as regal as your beloved Princess? Or is it that you think I'm ugly, because I look different?" Both questions were accompanied by magical blows to Twilight's sides. The pain caused Twilight to whimper softly, and to form tears in her eyes. She could only watch Chrysalis, unable to respond. "But... maybe this is what you wanted. To share my pain, to have my full attention." Chrysalis began to approach Twilight one step at a time, until they were face to face, and much to Twilight's surprise, Chrysalis leaned forward... and licked her cheek. Confused, Twilight tried to pull away, but she couldn't. "You have my attention now, Twilight, and we will share my pain.. just for you."
The room suddenly went dark, and Twilight fell to the floor with a thump. When the light returned, Chrysalis was gone. The only sign she'd ever been there was the pain in Twilight's chest, which was quickly going numb. She didn't bother gasping for air. The whole ordeal still left her somewhat breathless.
Twilight slumped back against the wall of her cell, feeling exhausted but unable to sleep. She'd been like this for so long that it felt like her skin was crawling. Her entire body was pins and needles, but she simply couldn't bring herself to lay down properly and sleep. Not after what Chrysalis had done to her. Had she really deserved to be hit so hard? Twilight shook her head as her heavy eyelids started to shut of their own accord.
Twilight snapped her head up, realizing she'd dozed off for a second or two. Nothing in the room seemed changed, and she was still alone. The only difference was that she felt much more rested now. She didn't know whether to count it as a day, but she'd lost track of days a long time ago. She might as well count by the waking second, because that's all she had in there. With a sigh she pushed herself onto all fours and began to pace her cell.
"Twi... ya had ta kill me, din'ya Twi? You'da done it too, if it'd really been me." said Applejack from behind a nearby wall, startling Twilight badly, "Some friend ya'll are, plottin ta murder me, But Ah'll forgive ya Twilight... Ah'll forgive ya when yer dead."
Twilight turned wildly one direction, then the other as the voice seemed to move about the room. Finally when the short speech ended Twilight found herself face to face with what she could only assume was Applejack. There was little more than a few patches of flesh clinging to bone now. Blood flowed freely from the numerous gashes where skin had been removed in one way or another, and underneath that was visible the bleached and often broken bones of AJ's skeleton. Even her eyes were gone, but the empty sockets still stared. Twilight could only watch in shock as AJ reared with a hoarse and unholy whinny, then began to charge. She felt like her limbs were made of lead, and her muscles wouldn't respond to her plea for action. Every step AJ took made her faster, more powerful... more deadly. Twilight knew she had to move, that she had to get away!
It was too late, and Applejack was spinning around for a signature kick of full force. Both hooves connected against Twilight's chest, and the pain was more immense than anything she'd ever felt before. It didn't start as pain though, at first it was only pressure... pressure pinning her between AJ and the wall... but the pressure built up and her weak body gave way. Bones cracked, organs ruptured, and the last thing that went through her mind as her lungs were flattened was that it couldn't possibly end this way.
It took a long time before Twilight caught her breath. The room was dark again, but she was alive and, as far as she could tell, alone. It had just been an awful nightmare. Still, nightmare or not, she couldn't take being in this prison anymore. It was driving her mad, between Chrysalis' provocations and her own solitude she needed an escape... any escape. She considered fighting Chrysalis for a moment, but entertaining as the thought was she wouldn't get very far without magic. Maybe she could get one good buck in before being beaten down, but would that really be worth it?
"Stand." the command was simple, and without thinking about it Twilight stood up. It was only once she was on all fours that she realized who had ordered it.
"What do you want now Chrysalis? I'm sick of this, and of you. Just leave me alone..."
"Poor little pony, you must feel like you've lost everything. But you still have me Twilight, and the sooner you realize that," Twilight could feel something brush up against her side as Chrysalis talked, but when she turned there was nothing, "the sooner you'll realize that I'm the only one you'll ever need."
"You... you're the reason I'm here! You're the reason all of this is happening!" Twilight exclaimed, a burst of sudden energy born of anger flowing through her. Without warning, without even thinking about it, she turned and began to lash out like she'd seen Applejack do so many times before with her hind hooves, repeatedly smashing the air around her.
"So violent for someone so... small. But you're wrong. You're here because you have an important lesson to learn, and I'm here to teach you that lesson." Twilight felt her hooves connect with something solid and very hard, and the recoil sent a shiver up her spine that left her off balance. "Would it really bring you pleasure to hurt your Queen, Twilight?" the light flickered back into the room, leaving Twilight dazed. She could see the blurry outline of something in the far corner of the room, and in her blind rage she rushed at it, turning to lash out again but only connecting with what felt like the wall again. It didn't really hurt, but the shock of the blow left her standing still for a moment, giving her vision time to clear. She turned and tripped over her own hooves because of what she saw. She hadn't missed, not even an inch. Chrysalis was standing there in the corner, two visible hoofprints etched into her naturally armored side. "It feels good, doesn't it Twilight? To hurt people... to show them pain. But it's just as wonderful to feel that pain which you give others." Chrysalis had a look of bliss on her face as she talked, and blood began to seep from the shallow wound.
"You're... crazy... I don't like it. I don't like hurting anyone..." Twilight protested meekly, but the truth was that she had enjoyed it; getting revenge for being locked up and tortured. She looked up again at Chrysalis' injured side, then back to her face. How could she enjoy the pain though, Twilight wondered, is it bec-
Before Twilight could finish the thought she was lifted into the air by her forehooves, leaving the rest of her body to dangle freely. Chrysalis didn't speak as she circled Twilight, her horn glowing menacingly. Twilight could only guess at the thoughts going the Chrysalis' mind, and even those guesses were terrifying in their own right. "Tell me, Twilight, what is it that you want?" Twilight shook her head, no, and did her best to look away from Chrysalis, but as she did the magic holding her up grew tighter around her legs until she had to grit her teeth. "If you won't cooperate, then I'll just have to make you cooperative." Chrysalis' eyes gleamed with amusement as the aura around her horn flared up. Twilight braced herself for a blow, but rather than a blunt pain she felt something sharp like a dagger being thrust into her side. Twilight screamed out and started to flail, but every movement only made the pain worse.
"Stop! Stop doing this to me!" Twilight pleaded, but Chrysalis merely grinned and all at once Twilight felt thousands of piercing knives all across her body, though there were no daggers and no blood. She trashed about, screaming profanities at Chrysalis and kicking at the air feebly, but all to no end as the pain became more intense. Even still she continued to resist despite it, until finally she simply blacked out from sheer agony.
"Oh no... that won't do at all. You need to be awake." Chrysalis whispered into Twilight's ear, and not more than a second after she felt a sharp blow to the side of her face, waking her up but leaving her head reeling. Twilight moved her head slowly from side to side. Her heart was beating so hard it felt like it was going to explode, and she could barely breathe. So much pain, she thought, how could she survive? How could anyone live through something like that? Twilight swallowed hard and took a deep breath, working up the courage to look Chrysalis in the eye. She had survived, whether it made sense or not, and it felt good. Better than that, it felt unlike anything she'd ever felt before. "Now then, it's your turn. Take your revenge however you wish to."
Twilight's restraints vanished all at once, leaving her to fall on the floor in an undignified heap. She wasn't sure what to do now, but she felt energetic. In fact, she felt like she could take on the world, starting with Chrysalis! She stood and kicked in one smooth motion, closing the short distance to Chrysalis with her hind legs. The impact would have landed somewhere along Chrysalis' neck, if it had landed at all, but something stopped Twilight. She didn't really want to hit Chrysalis, she thought as her hind legs hit the ground. But why? Why, after all this would she not want to hit Chrysalis? To kill her! Twilight cringed at the thought, she didn't want to kill anypony did she? She glanced over her shoulder to look at Chrysalis, but the Queen was gone.
Twilight was feeling sick again. She had enjoyed the pain, she was sure of that much now. But now that it was gone she felt somewhat empty. Like she'd lost something she wasn't sure she ever had to begin with. Why? Why did she feel like this? She tried to clear her mind of thoughts and focus but it was like her mind was clouded and murky. All she could think about was how she felt as the spell took hold of her. Everything else seemed like a storm, circling that one thought. That feeling. All the while she stared blankly at one of the lit gray walls, as if trying to read some secret information from them. She didn't really see the walls though, or the room. She was beyond that, in her own moment of time. Her own sanctuary of pain and pleasure.
"No..." she whispered softly, closing her eyes, "No, this isn't right. What's wrong with me?" Twilight looked around the room, actually expecting Chrysalis to appear with some sort of guiding advice about the love of pain, but she was utterly alone. It reminded her of the time she'd spent reading. Absolute quiet, a chance to be alone with her thoughts. But she didn't like her thoughts, and she didn't want to be alone this time. She just wanted someone to hold her close and tell her that everything would be alright. She'd never known that anyone could be so cruel, and worse yet she'd never realized she would enjoy it so much. It was only a matter of time before Chrysalis returned, she thought, and when that happened she would only have a handful of options.
It had been a while now, and Twilight hadn't slept since her last encounter with the Queen. She had spent most of her time thinking, some of it pacing, and a good portion of it beating her head on the wall to try and stop thinking. It was quickly becoming a vicious cycle, and Chrysalis appeared just as Twilight was starting to pace again.
"Are you ready for more, Twilight?" Chrysalis asked as she looked at Twi with a lusting gaze. Something had changed, and Twilight took note of the fact almost immediately. "It was so hard to stay away." she said, taking two steps forward, her horn glowing.
"I was wondering when you'd show up... I want to know," Twilight stopped and looked Chrysalis up and down. She knew what was wrong... the proportions were. The eyes were too small, the legs too long... the wings were shaped oddly and the horn didn't have holes in it. "I want to know where the real Chrysalis is."
"You're sharp, but she's away on business. You will address me as Chrysa-" the phony was cut short by a sharp kick to the legs, immediately followed by a second to the jaw as she fell forward. The impact knocked the changeling unconscious, and into it's true form. Just another small changeling, she'd fought plenty of them before.
But Twilight wasn't finished with it, not by a long shot. Standing over the creature she put one hoof to its back, and used the other to slap it a few times until it came to. "How did you get in here?"
"I won't tell you anything." it said in a low, raspy voice.
Twilight wasn't happy with this answer though, and she increased the pressure on its back, "That's not how this works, so I'm going to ask again. How did you get in here?" she questioned, not taking her eyes off of it. It had to be a spell of some sort, but then why could she not use magic and they could?
"Silly pony... you demand of me as though you have control here... you are not powerful. You are pitiful, and I wouldn't even have to get up to snap your neck." the changeling spat on Twilight's hoof, causing her to shake it clean without thinking. In an instant she was thrown off balance and then pinned down by the Changeling because she'd given up the tiniest bit of balance, "But the Queen wants you alive. And I want food."
"Well then you're out of luck, because I don't love you." Twilight said, bringing her hindhooves up between her and her attacker. "In fact... I don't like you at all." she finished, launching him up and away, straight into a wall.
"Well done... very well done." Chrysalis said, coming up behind Twilight. Twi wasn't even surprised now when it happened, she more or less just expected it to happen eventually.
"I'm tired Chrysalis. I don't know what to think anymore, I don't know what to do, I just want to go home and pretend none of this ever happened." Twilight said, her eyes never leaving the motionless body of the changeling.
"But it did and is happening, Twilight. You're realizing things you never thought possible, and what's more, you're learning to use them. If you'd had your magic then there's no secret that little changeling could have kept from you, is there? You would have had him begging to tell you everything. You've grown so much." Chrysalis draped a hoof across Twilight's shoulders, and in a flash of magic the body of the injured changeling vanished.
"I just wanted to know a way out..."
"You know the way out, Twilight, is magic. Something you don't have. Your abuse of my poor child was unwarranted if that's your excuse. I think, really, you were just happy to have a reason." Chrysalis chuckled and pulled Twilight closer, whispering in her ear, "But you don't need an excuse, my dear. You have all the reason in the world to do whatever you want to whoever you want."
"Then why can't I kill you?" Twilight said without having to think about it.
"A valid question, but one you'll have to answer for yourself. You had every opportunity before, and still do now. I think, if you really wanted to kill me, you would be trying to right now anyways." Chrysalis let go of Twilight and circled around slowly to look Twilight in the eye. "So, are you going to kill me then?"
Twilight lifted one hoof, stared at it for a long time, and then put it back down. "You're the one that did this to me. You took everything from me... and yet... I can't do it." she hung her head low.
"Yes, I took everything from you. I'm guilty of that, and some day you will surely get revenge for it," Chrysalis said, a wistful smile on her face, "but today is not that day." she said, turning as if to leave.
"Wait, you- you're not going to torture me?" Twilight said in surprise, causing Chrysalis to look over her shoulder in surprise.
"I actually hadn't planned on it. Not this time." Chrysalis replied, her grin growing ear to ear as she watched Twilight's mixed embarrassment and disappointment play out on her face. It had taken a lot of patience, but things were finally going according to plan.
Twilight groaned as she started to wake from her slumber. Her entire body was aching and she couldn't remember what had happened the night before, but she could only assume it had something to do with Chrysalis. She didn't feel like getting up, and her food wasn't here yet anyways, so she stayed laying down while she examined her body. Fresh bruises, welts, and even a few shallow cuts now adorned her already messy and unkempt fur, adding blood to the dirt and grime of not having washed in many days. She considered trying to groom herself, but what difference would it make for her to be a pretty prisoner? None at all, she thought, rolling herself over onto her hooves. Memories of the night before were already starting to come back, hazy details of whipping and begging. She had been begging... but was she begging for it to stop? Twilight put it out of her mind, she didn't want to know the answer because part of her already knew it. She got a rush from the pain, once it started she didn't want it to end. She loved the pain, even if she didn't fully understand why. She wanted more, and she was already wondering when the next visit from Chrysalis would be. It was the question that filled her mind for several sleepless nights spent waiting.
"Chrysalis, why won't you come back? Have you abandoned me? Am I not good enough for you now?" Twilight shouted at the walls, "Am I just a toy to you, to be played with and then locked away in a chest?! Did you ever even have a plan for me?" her tone slowly softened as she gave up on her yelling. She felt hollow inside, even her captor had abandoned her. She had nothing again, no, less than nothing. She had nothing when she still had Chrysalis' attention. In anger she charged at the wall, twisting her body at the last second to buck it with full force. The impact did nothing to the solid stone, but the jolt through her body left her shaky and unable to keep herself standing. With her legs folded under her she sat on the floor, trying to figure out where she'd gone wrong. "Please... Chrysalis... I don't want to be alone."
It went on much like this every day for a week, Twilight's rage growing greater every day. Chrysalis would pay, but not for locking her away. Chrysalis would pay for abandoning her, just like her friends who never came to save her, and the Princess that refused to return her affections. She had kicked the wall so many times now that it was starting to chip, but it was taking its toll on her hooves as well, bloody hoofprints decorating the floor. At first it had been a way to vent, but now it had become something more like practice. She could see the face of Chrysalis in that wall, and every kick made that image a little more battered.
"It's time, Twilight." came the unexpected voice of Chrysalis as Twilight prepared herself to attack the wall once more. A quick spin revealed Chrysalis standing just behind her, but her sudden appearance didn't even phase Twilight now, "I know what's been on your mind, and I think you're ready. You'll find that you-" Twilight didn't give Chrysalis time to finish her statement. One swift kick to the chest left her gasping for air, and as Twilight turned to face Chrysalis again for round two Chrysalis took a few steps back. She had a look of worry on her face as she caught her breath, watching Twilight advance on her. After a bout of coughing Chrysalis tried to finish her sentence, "I've had the magical barrier lifted. If you truly want to kill me, then now's your chance to do it."
Twilight slowed her approach, eying Chrysalis with suspicion. Chrysalis wasn't lying, Twi realized, the room was somehow lighter. It was almost like a pressure had been removed from her, but why would Chrysalis put herself in such danger? Twilight shook her head clear of thought and let the blaze of magic rush through her horn. In a flash of light Chrysalis was bound to the floor, unable to lift her hooves, but she still seemed calm. "What are you planning Chrysalis? Why..." she left the question unfinished as she stared into Chrysalis' eyes.
"Kill me, Twilight. You have the power to do it and there's nothing that can stop you now. I'm the reason you're here, and the cause of all your pain and suffering. Go on, I know you want your revenge." Chrysalis said, closing her eyes.
Twilight gave a feral growl and let her magic take hold, staring at Chrysalis as needles of pure energy formed in the air, rotating around the Queen's body. There were only a few at first, but as Twilight let her anger flow into her magic more and more appeared, "No... I can't kill you because I don't want to, but..." with a sudden wave of force all the dozens of needles stopped moving and in unison swung to point at Chrysalis like a deadly compass, "I want you to feel my pain." The strike was perfect, precise, clean. Every needle pierced through Chrysalis at a different angle, a different point, in a different way. None of them were lethal, but each one was aimed to cause excruciating pain. Pierced through from every conceivable direction Chrysalis was paralyzed, both eyes wide now. The expression on the Queen's face alone was Twilight's revenge, but she wasn't done yet. With Chrysalis unable to move, Twilight walked right up to her and smiled in her face. "What you've done to me..." one of the needles began to withdraw from Chrysalis' neck, "I don't think I can ever go back now, can I?" finally the needle came out, leaving no trace that it had ever been there at all, "That's why I can't forgive you." a second needle came out, again from the neck, so that Chrysalis could move her head again, "But I don't want to go back anymore." Chrysalis panted softly, barely comprehending Twilight's words as anguish filled her every thought, "Friendship never made me feel the way you do, my Queen." the comment was dripping with venom, but Twilight was still smiling. Three of the needles through Chrysalis' chest exploded into nothingness, causing Chrysalis to scream in agony. "I hate what you've done to me... For me to enjoy this... you've made me a monster, haven't you?" Twilight said over Chrysalis' shouts, her smiling fading into an angry grimace, "They wouldn't understand what you've done. They'd try to help me, and fix me." each emphasized word came with another excruciating removal, leaving Chrysalis a little more able to struggle, "They can't do that, though, can they? You made me this way, you made me want this. You're the only one that would understand... " Twilight sobbed softly, her grasp of the spell fading, "That's why you did this, you wanted me to love you..." her strength gone Twilight fell to her knees, her head hung low. All of her magic faded away, from the needles to the restraints, leaving Chrysalis free to move once more. "I hate myself for it too... I hate that I love what you did, the way you make me feel. That I love you."
Chrysalis took a wobbly step toward Twilight, lifting one hoof to Twi's chin to force Twilight to look up. Chrysalis' face was stained with tears, and blood dripped from her lip where she'd bitten down too hard, but despite both of these things she was smiling sweetly. She didn't say anything, and neither did Twi. They simply stayed in that pose, the silence saying more than their words ever could.
Chrysalis was the first to move, letting go of Twilight and walking to the nearby wall. The wall itself quivered as if made of liquid before vanishing completely, revealing a long narrow hallway. "I said before that it was time, and it is. I've kept too many secrets from you Twilight, for your own good. It's time to tell you the whole truth of why you're here. Come with me." Twilight stood without hesitation, moving to Chrysalis side as the Queen started to walk away and down the hall. "When I first brought you here, it was because you're close to Cadence. I thought that if you helped me I could capture her, and with her magic I would be able to feed my colony without drawing unwanted attention to ourselves. Her magic is a mere parlor trick compared to yours, however." they continued to walk until they met with the end of the hallway, opening up into a giant hive of activity. Caverns connected by tunnels surrounded Chrysalis and Twilight, and everywhere she looked there were hordes of Changelings buzzing about busily. "Tell me, Twilight, where did you learn that spell you just used on me?"
Twilight paused in her tracks, thinking back on it, "I don't know... I don't think I've ever read about any spell like that. It just came to me." she admitted.
"It's a spell I used on you, the night when I first tasted your love for pain. But it's a gruesome spell, and after I'd done it even I felt bad for you. You learned that spell just from experiencing it." Chrysalis turned to Twilight, "That is your gift, something I hadn't understood when my spies first returned with the information about you. Something the Princess needed you for. While others have the magic best suited to their skills, you are a truly gifted unicorn. Your skill is magic itself. That's why you can activate the elements of harmony, why you learn spells so quickly and naturally, and why the Princess used you."
"Then what do you expect me to do now? I can't go back and bring Cadence here... it wouldn't be right." Twilight said, trying to retain some of her moral fiber.
"I don't expect you to, what I want is something more simple. I want you to learn her own spell, the power of love amplification. With that spell and your raw magical prowess you could feed my entire colony a hundred times over, and we could live together happily. I would have you by my side, and together we would rule over my colony. Wouldn't that be... wonderful?" Chrysalis sighed softly, looking out over the cavern. Many of the changelings had noticed the pair now, and were staring from afar, but none of them dared get closer.
"You want me to feed an entire colony of changelings? I don't think I could do that... I'm not as powerful as you must think I am."
"But you are, Twilight. You have more power than you know, and together we can unlock that power. I can give you anything you want, if you'll accept my offer. It's a big decision though. I'll give you time to think about it."
Twilight sat alone in the room that had been provided for her. It was much larger and nicer than her previous accommodations, but it didn't feel right. The bed was too soft, and the velvet red walls felt out of place in the Changeling hive. She closed her eyes, shutting out the world around her and focusing on the question once more. Chrysalis wanted her to create a group of loyal ponies to feed the Changelings, using willing volunteers. Ponies that wanted to give themselves to the Changelings, but didn't have enough love to feed them all. Twilight had even met one, on Chrysalis' request. He hadn't seemed to be under any spell or even unhappy to be locked away, but his eyes... the way they stared at Twilight while she was there, it made her incredibly uncomfortable. Like there was a hunger in him that he couldn't fill. The same hunger she was feeling herself.
Twilight opened her eyes slowly, staring directly at Chrysalis. She didn't smile, or give any real response except for the fact that she continued staring. It isn't really there, she thought, this Chrysalis is just an illusion of her own mind. Still, Twilight could see every detail across the strange hallucination, right down to the tiny upside down Twilights staring back at her from Chrysalis' eyes. "Twilight..." it whispered ever so gently, flickering for a second as her mind tried to purge the image, "You can't hide it forever. You know deep down what you want."
"You're not real." Twilight responded briefly, glaring at Chrysalis. This was the third time the apparition had appeared, and each time it seemed to be getting somehow... stronger.
"You can't deny what I am, because if I weren't real then I wouldn't be here. You're a logical pony, you should know these things." The image flickered again, shifting to Celestia. "Maybe I'm not physical, but I'm a part of you. A part of all that you desire, the darkest of your beautifully twisted mind."
"I'm not going to listen to you. I can go back to being normal. I can ignore you and return to Ponyville and escape this nightmare."
"Silly foal, you can't escape me, because..." the image changed in the blink of an eye, becoming a mirror of Twilight separate from her movements, "I am you. I am the you that you want to be, and I can help you give into your hunger. You've been trying to repress me, but you've grown weak. You've always been weak."
"I'm not weak, I'm strong... I can fight these feelings. I can fight you!"
Chrysalis walked calmly through the door behind the mirror-Twi, looking somewhat concerned. "Is one of my children bothering you?"
The mirror-Twi smiled as the real Twilight looked over it, doing her best to ignore her doppelganger, "No, I was just... I had a bad dream."
Mirror-Twi tsked twice, shaking her head, "Now, Twilight, lying isn't going to get you anywhere in life. What would Applejack say?"
Twilight cringed and shook her head, "I'm going to lay back down..."
"Now isn't the time for sleep, I have something to show you." Chrysalis said, looking Twilight up and down suspiciously.
"Go with the Queen, I'm curious now!" Faux-Twi said excitedly, bouncing up and down in place.
"Fine, I'll go..." Twi sighed, moving from the bed to Chrysalis' side with Faux-Twi close behind. Twilight was making a conscious effort not to look back or think about it, in hopes that it would vanish again, but the more she focused the more she thought about it.
Chrysalis was already walking toward the maze of hallways and tunnels, but Twilight didn't let her get too far ahead. "It's time for your decision, and I won't have you avoiding it anymore. I've given you more than enough time." Chrysalis stopped, and Twilight ran face first into her flank. She had been so deep in thought that she wasn't sure how far they had traveled, but she'd never been to this part of the hive before. It was a single room, made of a waxy material like the majority of the hive, but there was something more to it. It wasn't the lavish bed, or the carpeting on the floor, or even the artwork lining the walls. Even without all of that Twilight would have been able to tell this room belonged to the queen herself.
"What if I don't have a decision?" Twilight asked delicately, taking a step back.
"Then you'd be a liar." Chrysalis replied, moving to a wall with a small hole in it. A window, Twilight realized as she noticed the sunlight pouring through it. "I know you've made a decision, and I know what it is. I'm not happy with it, but I know that you will return in time."
"Then it's time for me to go, isn't it?"
"Yes... but you could have left at any time. We both know that." Chrysalis continued to stare out the window, not even giving Twilight the slightest glance.
"How do I get back to Ponyville?" Twilight looked down at the floor, feeling both guilty and rejected at once. Wasn't Chrysalis going to fight her? To hold her down and make her stay... to hurt her for wanting to leave? Did Chrysalis not love her anymore, or had she never loved Twilight at all?
"There is a road beyond those mountains. Next to the bed is a bag with everything you'll need." Chrysalis waited for Twilight to go check for the bag before approaching, her looming form dwarfing Twilight by comparison. Twilight felt the shadow before she saw it, but it was still too late as a pair of hooves came down hard on her side, knocking her over. Before Twilight recovered Chrysalis pinned her down with a hoof on her chest, a smile on her face, "You belong to me now, Twilight. If you forget that, your punishment will be far more severe than you can begin to imagine." As if to emphasize the point Chrysalis' horn began to glow, and a sharp burning sensation seared Twilight's side for a moment. She wasn't sure what had just happened, but the flashing white lights that obscured her vision left her too dizzy to care. This was a new pain entirely, white hot and sizzling. She could almost swear she smelled her own burning flesh, but even that too faded into an obscure haze of excitement.
The high lasted for several long minutes until finally Twilight took back control of her senses, searching the room with her eyes for any sign of Chrysalis. She was gone, but something was still there... she looked down at her side to see a dark scorch across her left side, a stylized letter 'C', thinly etched in burnt flesh with the greatest of care. A mark from the Queen herself, no doubt claiming what she believed was rightfully hers. It made Twilight both sad and angry at once, sad that she still felt compelled to leave and angry that she now had no excuse for where she had been. Chrysalis was planning this all out, down to the most minute detail, and even Twilight couldn't figure out how it might end. With a tired groan she stood and grabbed the bag from where it was laid, then moved to the window. She could see the ground far below, and the mountains in the distance, nothing more stood in her way...
'You're a danger to your friends and yourself, are you really willing to risk unleashing yourself on the city that took you in so kindly?' came a voice from the back of her own mind, causing her to stop what she was doing.
"They're my friends. If I've learned anything about friendship it's that friends will stay with you no matter what."
'Then you'll drag them into your madness with you? You aren't normal. You're a monster, even if it is only on the inside. Maybe it's for the best, though. If you enjoy it so much, then I can't say they wouldn't enjoy it as well...' the voice laughed, the resounding laugh of Chrysalis.
"Hurting my friends... I can't. I..." Twilight stopped talking to think about it. If she could show them what it felt like, what it really meant to be in pain, then maybe she wouldn't have to be alone. Was it really hurting them if it was for their own good? She looked out beyond the mountains contemplatively, "I need to study it... the pain. I need to know why it does what it does to me. Once I understand that, then maybe I could safely... maybe..."
'I'm glad you're starting to understand, and see things our way. Don't worry, I'll help you..."
Twilight warmed up her magic, preparing to jump. Now there was truly nothing standing in her way. It was time to go... home.
~Dear Princess Celestia
I've learned a lot of new things while I was gone, more than I can fit into a single letter. The first thing I want to say is that I'm okay and I'm sorry that I haven't written a letter in what I can only assume was a very long time. I hope you can forgive me for being so late, because I want to meet with you in person so that we can talk. I have a lot of questions that need answers, and you might be the only pony capable of answering them. I'll be in Canterlot visiting my sister, Cadence, soon. I think it would be a perfect time to visit the castle afterwards, if you'll grant me an audience.
~Your faithful student, Twilight Sparkle
(( http://www.fimfiction.net/blog/58863 ))
Twilight wasn't sure of night and day, so she counted the times she slept. It had been three now, including her arrival. She hadn't heard from Chrysalis again yet, but she was so hungry Twilight almost hoped that Chrysalis would return, if it meant getting something to eat. She stood up, wobbling just a bit, and began to pace around the edges of the room. If she called out, maybe Chrysalis would come...
"Are you yet willing to listen, Twilight?" The voice came as if on cue, interrupting her thoughts.
"I'm... I'm hungry.. please, can I have something to eat?" Twilight felt degraded, begging Chrysalis for food, but she was desperate.
"It must be awful... so alone, so powerless. I remember those feelings well. Tell me Twilight, what would you do?"
"What... what do you mean?" Twilight stopped pacing and plopped down onto her side, laying on the bed of hay. She was too exhausted to keep walking.
"For food. That's what you want, and I'm willing to give it to you. But I want to know what you'll do for it. How desperate you are for it." Chrysalis laughed, and the sound filled the room.
Twilight wanted to deny Chrsyalis the satisfaction, but without food she was going to starve soon. How could she respond to such a question though? She couldn't refuse... "I'll... I'll do anything. Please, I'm so hungry..."
"Very good. You see, Twilight? It is necessary. Necessary to do anything if it means your survival. But it's not yet time... you will find your food against the wall. I will return later."
Twilight quickly stood up, searching along the edges of her cell until she found a small tray. She nearly spilled the bowl of water as her hoof passed over it, and eventually she also found the apple which had rolled a small distance away. She devoured all of it, not even worried that it might be poisoned, or worse. She was only worried that it wouldn't be enough to keep her from starving. But if Chrysalis needed her, then she wouldn't let Twilight starve. At least she had that.
