Twilight Learns To Be More Chill

by JJs Workshop

Rating: teen
Tags: Narcotics, Main 6, Princess Luna, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Spike, Cutie Mark Crusaders, Princess Celestia, Slice of Life, Crossover, Alternate Universe
Length: 3831

Twilight Sparkle is sent a bottle of Mountain Dew and a wintergreen tic tac one day. Chaos ensues.

Okay, you got me. This is totally just Be More Chill but with ponies. And some other stuff thrown in. Not a bad way to introduce oneself to FiMfiction, I must say.

After watching the Season 9 trailer for FiM, I later realized that I could use it's story-line of Princess Celestia and Princess Luna retiring as a beginning for this story.

I did not write the original story of Be More Chill. That credit goes to Ned Vizzini and Joe Tracz, who wrote the original novel about a boy who swallows a supercomputer, as well as to the musical adaptation's songwriter, Joe Iconis. And, as always, "My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic" was created by Lauren Faust, and is owned by Hasbro. All the credit for the original characters belongs to them.

Published 2019-04-06 07:20:01 UTC
Last updated 2019-04-06 07:20:01 UTC

The Package

For Twilight Sparkle, the hardest part about being a princess was the lack of free time. Just a week ago, she was living happily in Ponyville with her five best friends. Oh, and Spike. But then Princess Celestia said those words that Twilight hated hearing.

"My Sister and I have decided...it is time for us to retire!"

Flash forward to a few weeks later, and Twilight was here, listening to citizens complain, filling out paperwork, and, her least favorite part, stressing out.

Am I doing something wrong? I hope I filled out this paperwork correctly! Oh! I am so sorry to hear about your son! I hope he gets better soon!

And so it was.
Day after day, responsibility after responsibility with no time for herself.
But at least her friends were there to help. On the announcement of their Retirement, Princesses Luna and Celestia surprised everypony with the coronation, by coronating not just Twilight as the riser and lowerer of the sun and moon, but also by coronating her five friends as Princesses, as well. Twilight remembered smiling as Pinkie Pie began zooming around the castle with her new pair of wings, and how Rainbow Dash couldn't stop staring at her new horn for the next week.

"Excuse me, I'm here to see a Princess Twilight?"

Twilight flashed back to the present to see Ponyville's resident mailmare, Derpy Hooves, smiling up at her. "Derpy, hi! To what do I owe this pleasure?"

"Oh, I'm here to deliver this package to you! It's from Celestia!"

"Huh. Why didn't she just send it through Spike?"

"Well, I don't know".

Taking the parcel, Twilight smiled at Derpy. "Thanks,
Derpy! I hope you're having a good day!".

"I am! How about you?", the wall-eyed mare responded curiously.

Twilight sighed. "I'll be fine. I've just been working all day, I don't know when the last time I caught a break was".

"I'm sorry", Derpy sympathized. "Well, I have to get home. See you later!"

"Bye".

As Derpy flew off, Twilight turned her attention to the parcel in front of her. Using her magic to open the box, she found a note at the top of the package.

My Dear Student,
I am aware of the stress that has been put upon you during this new chapter of your life. I want you to remember that you have your friends to help you. However, in case you need some extra help, I have sent in this package a gift for you. Use it wisely, and only when necessary.
Sincerely,
Celestia

That was odd. Of course, she remembered her friends! Just earlier today, she had a wonderful lunch with Fluttershy. Of course, it was cut off when Fluttershy received word of her rabbit, Angel. The poor guy was undergoing a terrible sickness, and Fluttershy rushed home immediately. Then there was Rainbow Dash, but she had her hands full with the School Of Friendship. Applejack? Well, realizing she could harvest all the apples in a split second with her new horn, she took to assisting Rainbow with the school. The two of them had their hooves full all week, so Twilight didn't want to disturb them just because she was feeling stressed out. What about Rarity? Ah, yes, she had flown off to Manehattan for the week to attend a fashion gala. Twilight remembered her making a big deal about it. "Oh, I must simply make this the best gala possible!", she had exclaimed. "The cast of Hamareton will be there this year!". Why the cast of a famous Skyway show was attending a fashion gala, Twilight had no clue. Oh, and then there was Pinkie Pie, who found baking much quicker and easier with her horn. This surprised Twilight, however. Pinkie had this odd ability, even before she became an alicorn, of producing a freshly-baked dessert before you could even blink your eyes.

Wow, Twilight realized, all her friends were really busy now. Still, she looked forward to the weekend, when all of this would be over and she could finally relax with her friends. Twilight was busy thinking about her friends when Spike came in from the kitchen.

"Hey, Twilight. I just heard Derpy. Was there anything for me?"

"Wha-? Oh, hey Spike. No, there wasn't".

"Aww...", the dragon began grumbling.

"However, there was this package from Princess Celestia. Here's the note she sent with it".

Handing Spike the note, Twilight turned her attention back to the package. Inside was a green bottle. Inscribed on it was a foreign dialect, but she could just make out what it said.

"Mountain Dew. I wonder what that is."
Next to the bottle was a sleek, silver box with strange characters on it. She picked it up, but couldn't make heads or tails out of the characters.

"Hey, Spike, can you read what this says?"
Spike looked up from the note. "Oh, sure."

He took the box in his claws and read it aloud. "Super Quantum User Intel Processor. Huh, I wonder what that means. Can I open it?"

"Sure, I guess."

Spike opened the box and pulled out a glass vial, with what appeared to be a strange grey pill inside. Attached to it was a paper. Spike began reading. "Twilight Sparkle, welcome to your Super Quantum User Intel Processor, or SQUIP. Before you begin, there are some things you must know. First off, the SQUIP is a small computer inside of a grey pill that one ingests."

Twilight stopped him. "What's a computer?"

"I don't know. But there's more to this note. Listen. The SQUIP implants in its user's brain and instructs the user in how to keep calm under severe pressure, as well as how to behave in a calm and positive manner. The SQUIP's purpose is to serve its user, to make life better, and easier, for those under pressure. To activate your SQUIP, ingest the pill, and wash it down with Mountain Dew. The chemicals in the Mountain Dew trigger its neural implant transmitter. To turn off the SQUIP- "

"Stop."
"What?"

"Just stop! I can handle myself just fine! I don't need to take a pill to make my life better! I'm offended that Celestia would distrust me like this!"
"Do you want me to keep reading, or-"

"No! No. I need to...take a walk. I'll be back later."
Spike nodded, SQUIP still in hand. "Okay, but what do you want me to do with this thing?"

Twilight shook her head. "I dunno, just...go put it in my desk or something".
"Okay".

Twilight landed in front of Fluttershy's cottage. Sighing, she knocked the door. She waited for a few moments in silence, thinking about Celestia's little "gift".

I can't believe that after all we've been through, Celestia thinks I can't handle myself! She said herself I;m her number one student! How could she just-

Fluttershy opened the door, her sullen face lighting up like a Christmas tree. "Twilight! It's so good to see you! How are you? Would you like some tea?"

Twilight's thoughts were cut off by her friend. "Hi, Fluttershy. I'm...yeah, I'd like some tea, if it's not too much trouble."

"Well, come in."

Twilight followed suit behind her friend. "How is Angel doing?", she asked, remembering her friend's sick pet. Fluttershy ducked her head. "He's...not himself. I don't know why, but...he won't eat much, and he keeps turning down all his usual favorite activities. But...I love that little rabbit, and I am going to get him to a nurse as soon as I can. How are you?"

Twilight filled Fluttershy in on the day's events, and told her about Celestia's "gift", and the questions it brought Twilight with it.

"...and I just don't get why she thinks I need a pill to help me with anything that's not a sickness! Fluttershy, I don't know what to think about her anymore!"

Fluttershy nodded understandingly as she gave Twilight her tea. "Twilight...she's done questionable things before, right?"

"Well, yes, but-"

"And they always work out fine, right?"

"Well, yes, but-"

"If Celestia sent you that...computer, or pill, or whatever it is, she must have done it for a reason. And...maybe, whatever that reason is, it will work out in the end. Has Celestia ever given you reason to distrust her before?"

Twilight sipped her tea and shook her head in defeat. "...no, she hasn't."

"Then why would she do something untrustworthy now? She didn't say you have to take it, did she?"

"She said to take it only when necessary".

"Then trust your teacher, Twilight."

Twilight Sparkle hugged her friend. "Thanks, 'Shy."

"Any time."

"Well, it's getting late. I have to get home to Spike. I'll see you later.

"Okay. And Twi? It's all going to work out. You'll see".

Derpy Hooves flew into the cave, smiling all the way. Her eyes began to glow green, as she revealed her true form. Approaching the throne room, she bowed her head to the figure sitting on it. "My queen."

"Has the deed been done?"

"Yes, my queen. She doesn't suspect a thing".

"Good. The plan is in motion."

Derpy looked up at the queen, still bowing down to her all the while. "What do we do now, my queen?"

Queen Chrysalis grinned, a wicked smile crossing her muzzle. "Now, we wait. For the Summer Sun Celebration".

Author's Note

Ooh, I wonder what Chrysalis is up to this time?

In all seriousness, I love, love, love Be More Chill, and when the trailer for Season 9 dropped a few weeks ago, I eventually realized that working the SQUIP into a Season 9 timeline would work perfectly! (I hope it does, at least).

Also, please keep in mind, I do NOT condone or support the taking of drugs. This is simply a "What If?" scenario.

Let me know in the comments what you liked or disliked about the chapter, and what I could improve upon for the next one!

God Bless, and have a great day!

The Summer Sun Celebration

Two weeks later, the Summer Sun celebration was underway! And it was, to Twilight, very stressful.

Keep it together, Twilight. You got this.

For you see, now that Luna and Celestia had retired, it was Twilight's first Summer Sun Celebration in which she had to raise the sun and lower the moon herself. Of course, with the weekend beginning, who should be at her side but Rainbow Dash and Applejack. Well, mostly Rainbow Dash. Applejack was off selling cider somewhere in the fairgrounds.

Ponies from all over, from Ponyville to Manehattan, attended this year for its historic significance. It was their first time seeing someone besides Celestia raise the sun, so naturally ponies would be in an uproar. They weren't mad, mind you. They were simply excited.

Twilight Sparkle stood on one of the castle's many balconies, looking over all of the guests that had just arrived. And there, in the distance, she spotted a familiar white and purple pony. Flying out of the balcony, she called, "Rarity!"

Rarity smiled up at her fellow princess. "Twilight! How are you?"

"Great now! How was the gala?"

Rarity's eyes twinkled as she regaled Twilight on all of the past week's "stunning dresses" and the cast of Hamareton's "mind-blowing performance".

"Well, I'm glad you had a good time, Rarity".

"And what about you, darling? How was your week?"

"Paperwork. Lots of paperwork. As well as a package from-"

"Oh, I almost forgot! I brought somepony special with me! He's here somewhere- oh, there he is! Lin! Lin, come here!"

"Wait, you mean, the Lin Manuel Mareanda is here? How did you manage that, Rarity? He's a busy pony!

"Oh, well, he was one of the main guests of the gala, because of Hamareton being there, you know, so of course when I met him I just had to bring him along with me to meet you! You always talked about how much you liked Hamareton!"

"Actually, that was you who talked all the time about Hamareton, so-"

Twilight was interrupted by a tall stallion with a black goatee and cropped hair trotting over to the two friends.

"Oh, hi! You must be Princess Twilight Sparkle. It's an honor to meet you, your majesty", Lin exclaimed, bowing before the two princesses.

"Oh...we don't do that here", Twilight told him. "Welcome to the gala, Mr. Mareanda!"

"Please, just Lin. You know, I can't believe I am actually here! I've been trying to save up to buy a ticket, but I just can't seem to get one!", the composer replied.

"Gee, that sounds familiar", Rarity remarked.

"What?"

"Oh, nothing, Mr. Mareanda. Oh, there's Sweetie Belle with her crusader friends and Applejack at the cider stand! Twilight, if you'll excuse me...." Rarity walked over to the stand, leaving Twilight and Lin standing in awkward silence.

Twilight broke the silence. "Well, it was nice meeting you...I have to get to the stage. It's almost time for me to raise and lower the sun and moon!"

Just as she was about to take off, Lin stopped her. "Can I give you a word of advice?"

"Oh...sure! What is it?"

"Don't stress out all the time. Be more chill".

Twilight was confused. "Wait, how did you know-"

"That you're stressed out? It happens to many celebrities, Princess. You're no exception".

"What are you talking about? I'm no celebrity."

"You're known by many ponies, correct?"

"Well, yes."

"Thus, you are a celebrity. Just try to relax, and remember, if you fail to do the task everyone is here to watch you perform, that's just one failure. Don't give up just because you fail a few times, okay?"

"...okay...but I don't give up!"

"Never?"

"No."

"Not even once? You're never worried you might fail?"

Twilight was starting to become annoyed. "Look, Mr. Mareanda, it's been nice meeting you, but I have a job to do. Now, if you'll excuse me..."

As Twilight flew off, Lin Manuel Mareanda looked on, his eyes glowing a familiar green. Twilight, however, didn't notice this.

Princess Rainbow Dash stepped onto the stage. "Good morning, everypony! Welcome to the Summer Sun Celebration!"

The place was filled with excited hoots, hollers, and stomping of hooves.

"Now, as we all know, Princess Celestia and Princess Luna used to work together to bring day and night to an open and close, every single day. But now, they have retired, and left that hard task up to somepony else. Mares and Gentlecolts, give it up for my friend, the totally awesome Princess Twilight!"

Everypony cheered as the purple princess walked onstage. Nopony in that festival, however, was more nervous than Twilight herself. She took a breath, and, closing her eyes, imagined herself lifting the moon Cold magic rushed through her conciousness and being as she lowered the moon. Everypony began to cheer as the moon was lowered. Twilight opened her eyes, and smiled. Oh, there was still the sun! She closed her eyes, and began to imagine the sun, that she was raising it, and-

She was suddenly overcome by a horrible burning sensation, the likes of which she had never felt before! But she had to keep going. She felt the cold magic running through her being, only to suddenly flare up very suddenly. She screamed in agony...but she had to....She had...to raise...the sun....she couldn't fail Princess Celestia...not again....

Everypony cheered with relief and concern as the sun came up over the horizon. Twilight opened her eyes, her magic and mind still burning from bringing the sun up. Everything hurt so bad. But that was the last thing Twilight remembered before she blacked out.

The audience gasped as Princess Twilight collapsed. Rarity and Rainbow Dash, seeing from the balcony and front row that their friend was out, rushed onstage.

"Oh my! Is she going to be okay, Rainbow?"

"Yeah, she has to be". Rainbow began to shake Twilight awake, but pulled her hooves back suddenly. "Ow! She's burning up! Really bad!"

"What do we do?"

Rainbow, though usually quick to make brash decisions, had proven herself to be much more calm under pressure and emergencies since she took over teaching at the School of Friendship. She turned to Rarity. "Go call an ambulance. Now."

Rarity nodded and flew off to the hospital. Rainbow, meanwhile, turned her attention to the ponies gathered here. "Attention, everypony", she began, "The Summer Sun Celebration is over. Please, leave out the nearest exit, and remain calm."

Everypony looked at each other in confusion, before somepony shouted at Rainbow, "You're not Princess Twilight! You don't have the authority to-"

Rainbow flew straight up, her voice strong and commanding.

As one of the six princesses of Equestria, I am asking you to please, go home. Now.

Everypony began staggering home, leaving Rainbow onstage with the slumped-over form of Twilight, and Applejack rushing to her, with Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo, and Apple Bloom close behind.

"Rainbow! What just happened? Ah saw everythang from the stand! Is Twilight alright?"

Rainbow looked up at her. "I...I don't know".

Rarity flew back in. "The ambulance is on its way".

The three friends, as well as the Cutie Mark Crusaders, stood guarding Twilight until the ambulance arrived.

Author's Note

I know this is kind of a dark way to end the chapter, especially when the fanfic has only just begun, but I don't plan on making this a very long story. I might. If I do, great.

As always, let me know in the comments what you liked/disliked, and what I can do to improve the next chapter!

God Bless!

The Hospital

A heart monitor beeped in the background as Twilight Sparkle awoke, dazed and confused, to find a cold rag wrapped around her head, and a thermometer in her mouth. She tried to sit up.

"Hey, now...try not to exert yourself".

Twilight looked to the side of the bed, to find a nurse checking the heart monitor. The nurse continued, "You're hooked up to the heart monitor. Try not to move too much".

"What...what happened?"

"I honestly couldn't tell you, your highness. I'm just here to make sure you're okay. Your friends, however, they can answer your question. Would you like me to go fetch them?"

Still confused, Twilight could only nod her head. The nurse left, as Twilight tried to figure out what happened, how she ended up here.

I remember the Summer Sun Celebration...and then the panicking...I panicked....and there was the burning in my head...and...

"Twilight!"

The princess looked up to see her loyal co-rulers, and Spike, bolt through the doors. Accompanying them were the Cutie Mark Crusaders.

Pinkie Pie, despite her wings, bounced around Twilight with the same energetic fervor.

"Are you okay? Are they treating you good? They better, because you're a princess!! Do they let you have cake here? Can I bring cake here? Do you want Zap Apple filling in it, or Razzle Berry? Ooh, how about-"

"What...what happened back there?", Twilight asked, still trying to process the events of the Celebration.

"You passed out after raising the sun", Rainbow began. "I tried waking you up, but you were burning hot! The medics had to put you in a tub of water to keep you from overheating the way you did".

"Are ya okay, sugarcube?", Applejack asked her friend.

Twilight began tearing up, and as if a dam had broken, water began pouring from her eyes. "I...I thought I could do it...but it hurt...so much...all I could think about was Princess Celestia, and not wanting to let her down, and everything was fine. But then I panicked, and the moment I began freaking out, it was like I was losing control. Everything started burning as if I was being thrown into the sun instead of raising it...and then...then I blacked out. I just couldn't do it."

Rarity brushed her friend's tears away. "Twilight, you didn't fail! You succeeded! In fact, according to the doctors, you even began healing relatively quickly! You did wonderfully, darling!"

"I know, but...I...if it hurt that much to raise the sun one time, I don't see how I can keep doing this...I can't do this, girls. I can't".

"Twilight", Fluttershy began, "You've taken on dragons. You've taken on the powers of all three of the original princesses, and used them to defeat Tirek? You raised the sun then! How is it any different now"?

"Because I didn't rule the majority of Equestria then! This...this is different. Ponies are relying on me to do this now, everyday, for who-knows-how-long.

"Ah think yer' forgettin' somethin', Twi'."

"What?"

Applejack unfolded her wings. "Yer' not the only princess in Equestria. Now there's seven of us! You don't have to do this alone. You shouldn't do it alone".

Twilight sat, humbled at the farm pony's statement. She didn't have to do it alone. But...that pain...nopony else should have to feel that hurt for even a millisecond, Twilight thought. What kind of a friend would she be if she put that pain on her friends' shoulders? For Rarity, maybe, it would be easy, because she was the only other one of her friends who was well trained in unicorn magic. But the rest of them...Rainbow, Pinkie, Fluttershy, and Applejack...they had only just recieved their horns, Twilight thought, so how could they be strong enough to lift the sun and moon? If it hurt this much for Twilight, how much more so would it affect the rest of her friends?

The doctors released Twilight a few hours later, but warned her to take it easy, and not exert herself. This meant, no flying. When she finally walked home, she was greeted by Spike.

"I'm so glad you're okay!"

"Thanks, Spike".

The two siblings hugged each other. Then Twilight noticed something. "Wait, it's dark out. The moon is up".

"Yeah."

"But...how?"

Spike smiled. "I may have written to Luna, asking her for a small favor. I told her about your trip to the hospital. She sent this note back".

Spike handed a letter to Twilight. She began reading.

Princess Twilight,
My sister and I are aware of your failure on this morning. Do not fear. Until you are better, and ready to do your job, Tia and I would be glad to help raise and lower the sun and moon. Just take a breath and calm down. That is what you must remember. If you panic while you raise the sun, it will only get worse. Ask your friends for help. You are not alone, and carrying this burden shouldn't be only your task. That is part of the reason we made your friends into princesses, into alicorns, to begin with. They are just as fit to rule as you are.

-Luna.

Twilight took a deep breath, knowing what she had to do. But she ignored this and instead came up with what she thought was a better idea.

"Spike, bring me that SQUIP".

Author's Note

Short Chapter, I know.