Yona of The Dumb

by Sonic_Applejack2005

Rating: teen
Tags: Slice of Life, Yona, Sad, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Rainbow Dash, Comedy, Pinkie Pie, Profanity
Length: 1159

Yona Yak has a bad sense of direction. Because of this, she gets lost in the city of Ponyville and needs help getting out.

Yona Yak is a yak. Yaks have a bad sense of direction, so when Yona gets lost in Ponyville, she needs some help getting back to the School of Friendship. Unfortunately, that means getting the attention of somepony who can understand her, and she learns that not everypony gets her as well as her friends at the School of Friendship do. But if Yona cannot get home, she will starve, and she will not let that happen. Luckily, she encounters members of the Mane Six along the way, so she is in luck.

Published 2019-04-16 18:20:01 UTC
Last updated 2019-04-16 18:20:01 UTC

Learning Her Place

Yona Yak was lost in the city of Ponyville. Yaks were generally unintelligent creatures, and Yona was no exception. She had been on her way to the School of Friendship for morning class, but she had gotten distracted by a butterfly and found herself in an area of Ponyville she had never seen before.

"Yona do not know way back," she said sadly. She looked around, and there was not a single pony she recognized. But suddenly her mind lit up, and she silently thanked Twilight Sparkle for teaching her about the importance of friendship. Even if she did not have any friends here, she could make new ones and then ask for directions home. Unable to wait another second to test her friendship theory, Yona bounded up to the nearest pony and accidentally knocked him over, landing on top of him and knocking all the air from his lungs. "Yona lost! Can pony help Yona get ho--"

"FUCK YOU, YAKHOLE! GO BACK TO WHERE YOU CAME FROM!" screamed the old pony as he tried to pull himself out from under the overweight yak. "GET THE FUCK OFF ME!"

Yona did not understand what he was saying, but he was yelling, and back in Yona's homeland, yelling was good. "Yona want to be friend!" she exclaimed, breaking a few of the pony's bones as she lifted herself off him.

"YAKS ARE RUINING PONYVILLE! GO DIE, YOU WORTHLESS BITCH! MAKE PONYVILLE GREAT AGAIN!"

This time, Yona really did understand what the old pony was saying. At least, she understood the part where he said something about dying. It was kind of him to worry about her health."Yona young! Yona live very long life!" she reassured him. The pony spat at her in response and left, limping from the injuries Yona had given him. By the time Yona realized she had forgotten to ask him for directions, he was long gone.

Suddenly, Yona noticed a familiar sight up above. A rainbow streak blazed across the sky, like a meteor at night but twenty percent cooler. "Rainbow pony, come down!" Yona shouted so loudly that she collapsed multiple food and item stands around her, though she did not notice. Just as she had hoped, Rainbow Dash plummeted down from the clouds and barely landed on her feet as she cleared her thoughts with a shake of her head.

Rainbow Dash slapped Yona across the face. "Shut the fuck up, Yona! I am in the middle of practice! Should not you be at the School of Friendship or something?"

Yona flinched back, but then she smiled and slammed her own hoof back in Rainbow Dash's face, bowling her over and slamming her into the hard ground. It must have been some strange custom of ponies she had not been exposed to yet. "Yona lost! Can rainbow pony help Yona get back?"

Rainbow Dash moaned in pain. Blood was leaking from a wound in her head from when she had hit the ground, and her world was spinning. Nonetheless, she nodded and stood up shakily. "I have a few directions for you, Yona," she said. "Do you have a pen and paper? Yaks are fucking stupid, and I do not think you can remember more than five words at once."

Indeed, Yona did have the items rainbow pony was talking about. "Yona have! Yona have! What pony want Yona to write?"

Rainbow Dash cleared her throat and looked Yona in the eyes. "Listen carefully, because I am only going to say this once, okay?"

"Yes, yes, Yona ready!"

"First step, turn around," said Rainbow Dash. Yona scribbled the direction down on her sheet of paper.

Rainbow Pony Tell Yona How Get Home!
1. rainbow pony say go backward

"Yes, next!" said Yona.

"Step two, GO TO HELL, YONA! FUCK YOU!" screamed Rainbow Dash as she immediately took off while the yak scribbled down her words.

2. rainbow pony say go to "hell"

When Yona looked back up from her notepad, Rainbow Dash was gone. She shrugged. Pony must have been in a rush, and at least she told her how to get home. She looked down at her notepad and read the first instruction. "Yona go backward," she said, taking a few steps back. She did not remember how many steps she was supposed to take, but she decided it was enough when she bumped into the behind of a pink earth pony. When she looked closer, she realized that she knew this pony too.

"Pink Pie!" Yona screamed happily, reaching out to give the pony a crushing hug. However, she looked down and noticed Pinkie Pie had mysteriously appeared a few metres away. Shaking her head in confusion, Yona tried again but ended up with empty hooves again. She blinked and then screamed as a voice spoke directly into her ear from somepony behind her. "AHHHH!"

"Can you shut the fuck up?" Pinkie said with a glowing smile on her face. "I heard you are lost, Yona!"

Yona recovered and nodded eagerly. "Yes, Yona lost! Can pink pony help Yona get back to friendship school?" she asked.

Pinkie giggled. "Of course, silly! Just follow me!" She began walking at a brisk pace, and Yona struggled to follow, being the fat bitch she was. However, she did manage to keep up just enough to not lose the earth pony, and in the end she found herself and Pinkie Pie at the edge of a cliff.

"Why pink pony take Yona to cliff? Yona want home, not mountain!" she exclaimed.

"You have still got a lot to learn," quipped Pinkie. "This is a magical cliff! If you jump off, you will be teleported at the bottom to whatever destination you have in mind at the moment!" She checked the imaginary watch on her front leg. "Oh, look at the time! I have got to go, Yona! Good luck!" Before Yona could reply, the pink pony was gone. However, she was thankful the pink pony had given her clearer instructions than the rainbow pony had. Yona had never known about such magical cliffs in Ponyville. It was a wonderful place that she wanted to learn more about.

With a happy cry, Yona took a running start and leaped off the side of the cliff, plummeting toward the bottom with Ponyville on her mind.

It was not a magical cliff.

Author's Note

hiiiiii everypony!!! :pinkiesad2: so like i sad before i am starting to watch more MLP this days :pinkiesad2: but um my friend DeAndre suggested i skip straight to season 8 because he said all the others seasons suck??? :pinkiegasp: i dont know if i should belief him but i did skip to season 8 anyway :pinkiesad2: i will go back after :pinkiesad2: um i am quite busty with exams so um this was hard to write but i hope u all enjoy!!! :pinkiehappy: have a beautiful day everypony :pinkiesad2: