Holy Fuck It's Been 131 Days Since I Published My Last Story And I Have 45 Minutes to Write This Before My Friend Comes Over to Watch the Season 9 Opener With Me: A Season 9 Bingo Contest Story

by Super Trampoline

Rating: mature
Tags: Porn, Sex, Profanity, Random, Adventure, Human, Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 1039

Twiggles decides that since this year is the last BronyCon, she's going to go there and fuck as many Bronies as possible. Real original story, huh?

What sort of 7-Eleven isn't open at 7:15am on a Saturday morning?!? I had to go to Jack in the Box to get soda to mix with my vodka instead of the orange juice I wanted! Anyway, in this story, Twiggles decides that since this year is the last BronyCon, she's going to go there and fuck as many Bronies as possible. Real original story, huh?

Written for Shrink Laureate's Season 9 Bingo Writing Contest

Published 2019-04-06 15:20:01 UTC
Last updated 2019-04-06 15:20:01 UTC

Thanks to B25 For Turning Me on to That Cover Art

"Spike!" Twilight exclaimed, "Did you know that season 9 starts in less than an hour? That means the writer better start cracking if he wants to finish this story in time for the season 9 Bingo contest. Anyway, did you also know that this year is the last BronyCon? I think I want to go there and fuck as many Bronies as possible!"

"What the fuck, Twilight, seriously, what the fuck is your problem? You're a fucking magical fucking princess of friendship and shit, you literally can shag any fucking stallion (or mare; I know you like yourself some good horse pussy) you set your eyes on! Is that not enough for you? Is your carnal lust not sated? Neigh, you greedy bitch, it is not! You fucking horny horse slut! Fine, go to fucking Baltimore. Go fuck all the ugly-ass neckbeards you want. See if you don't get mugged at the 7-Eleven while you're trying to buy condoms. See what happens. Go and fucking see."

So Twilight did just that. To get to human land, she turned herself into electromagnetic waves and blasted herself out of the local Ponyville radio telescope

This is literally the only radio telescope picture on Derpibooru

out across the universe. Earth is 57,000,000,000 light years away from Equestria, so, uhhhh, she used a wormhole or some shit, i dunno, ask Pineta or something, he's the physicist here.

So yeah anyway, after a few months of traveling through wormholes and shit as a radio signal, Twilight was picked up by legendary Baltimore hip hop and R&B station 92 Q FM and converted back into corporeal form. Because she didn't go through none of that gay-ass magic transformative mirror shit, she was still a pony. A hot sexy alicorn princess pony. And after three months of wormholes, she was even hornier. So she shagged Rickie Smiley during his morning talk show. Fucking horny slut. Literally, since she has a horn. Haha I'm sure that joke's never been used.

Anyway, she had a few days until BronyCon started, so she took the train down to Philadelphia. According to Wikipedia, "Philadelphia, Pennsylvania’s largest city, is notable for its rich history, on display at the Liberty Bell, Independence Hall (where the Declaration of Independence and Constitution were signed) and other American Revolutionary sites. Also iconic are the steps of the Philadelphia Museum of Art, immortalized by Sylvester Stallone’s triumphant run in the film "Rocky.""

Anyway she was still horny so she shagged Jim Kenney, Philadelphia's 99th mayor. He didn't really know what to make of it.

Anyway, after seeing the Liberty Bell and other old shit, she took the train back to Baltimore and got there Thursday night. She put up posters all over the covention center: "Fuck the Real Princess Twilight Sparkle! Friday and Saturday Night, in that one single-occupant restroom at the far end of the convention hall where no one's really supposed to go but two years ago the author spent 3 hours masturbating in Friday night because he was hopped up on ADHD medication and then when he finally left to go back to his hotel, the convention hall was empty and he had to pry the automatic doors open to leave. Not his proudest moment." Yes, the posters really said all that. And she put them up with non-epoxide polymer (ie not an epoxie) which uses nanotechnology as the adhesive, so they definitely couldn't easily be pried off.

The Con Staff was honestly at a loss as to what to do. There were literally hundreds of these fucking posters whoring Twilight out all over the fucking convention hall. Like imagine if ~~PikaPetey~~ Post-It Pony put up "Fuck Twilight Sparkle" posters instead of hastily-drawn post it notes. So yeah, eventually They just started covering up the posters with their own BronyCon posters.

Holy shit that's an old-ass poster!

But the damage had already been done. Word of the Twilight Sparkle bathroom fuck spread like wildfire on social media. Horse News of course wrote an article on it, and of course some transphobic dipshit disparaged Purple Tinker (who founded BronyCon) in the comments section like they do on every single fucking Horse News article.

Anyway, Friday rolled around and Twilight was all over the Con, signing a shit ton of autographs, freaking the fuck out of Tara Strong and causing her to have an existential crisis, Buying tons of merch in the venderhall including 17 dakimakuras of herself, signed a bunch of shit and donated it to the auction (which proceed to raise 2.3 million dollars because holy fuck people were bidding a lot of money for Twilight Sparkle-signed shit. She trotted around the con like the fucking celebrity she was.

And then dusk fell. And she went to the designated restroom. There were dozens of security guards trying to keep the throngs of Bronies away, but they were overpowered easily by the sheer strength of a thousand lusty neckbeards. And Twilight teleported into the restroom, and opened the door and yelled, "Come fuck me, Bronies!"

And they did.

Oh yes, they did. It was a fuck for the ages. A legendary fuck. The fuckery was off the charts. Bronies inserted their penises into her horse pussy. Bronies inserted their penises into her horse ponut. Bronies inserted their penises into her horsey mouth. Bronies inserted their penises into each other. Pegasisters made out with her. And then Bronies jizzed all over her. In her wings, in her mane, in her mouth, in her ass, in her vagina, in her fur, in her tail, in her ears, etc. It was legenfuckingdary. And she was loving it, the horny slut that she was. All that pent up mare libido released at once, and she orgasmed over and over and over as she was continuously plowed by Bronies. The bachanalian scene lasted long into the night.

And then she did it again on Saturday Night.

She had a good time at BronyCon.

And she caught the flu from a human which she had no immunity to, and fucking died. The end.

Author's Note

This has not been my proudest writing moment.