'Twilighting'

by deadpansnarker

Rating: everyone
Tags: Twilight Sparkle, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Spike, Comedy, Slice of Life
Length: 1615

After the events of 'The Beginning Of The End', Twilight and her friends discuss an interesting new word they seem to have invented. Is she happy about it? What do you think?

After the events of 'The Beginning Of The End', Twilight and her friends discuss an interesting new word they seem to have invented. Is she happy about it? What do you think?

Published 2019-04-07 19:50:01 UTC
Last updated 2019-04-07 19:50:01 UTC

Words Matter

The Main (Mane?) six had finished their impromptu hug after whupping Sombra's armoured arse for the second time in as many days (seriously, can't these bad guys get a clue? Friendship is... invincible!!) and were even now trotting blithely back to the comparably humble municipality known as Ponyville from the ornate prestige that Canterlot embodied.

That's not to say their ramshackle homestead didn't have it's unique charms, though. After all, when Twilight was ~~ordered~~ directed to abandon her formerly auspicious address in favour of a much more rustic lifestyle down in the boonies, she'd obviously had more than a few unspoken misgivings.

Twilight had even been tempted to locate the world's most obscure medical journal to fake an illness so rare that even Nurse Sweetheart, with all her experience and expertise, wouldn't be able to tell that she was the victim of a major con job.

Strangely enough though, this hitherto inexplainable 'making friends' malarkey turned out to be a lot more fulfilling than the studious unicorn-turned-alicorn had originally thought. Will wonders never cease.

Sure, books helped you learn all kinds of interesting stuff and looked pretty cool stacked on a shelf together with their colourful spines all in perfect alphabetical order... but could they talk to you? Hug you? Provide you with five extra emergency kidneys on stand-by?

Well, yeah sure... with the right enchantment. But that was beside the point! She'd got a school to run now! A sassy flying dragon to support! A local dentist that expected to see her every six months, on account of Pinkie Pie's corrupting sugar-induced influence!

She couldn't just give it all up to hang out sipping fancy cappuccinos with Moondancer and company, or peruse the various rare tomes that made up the unmatchable quality of the Royal Library!

She had responsibilities! Obligations! A major headache! Ow...

"A bit for your thoughts, darling?" The usually endearing but right now somewhat grating chirpy tones of Rarity interrupted the thick fog in Twi's noggin. "You've been awfully quiet ever since we sent Sombra... wherever it is a beam of awesomely powerful light sends one once total disintegration is complete. I was just asking if you wanted to celebrate our glorious victory with me and the rest of the girls at the boutique later. Free fittings for everypony, with the material of your choice! Not cotton, though. If you want peasant's cloth, go to the market."

"U-Uh, hard pass on that one, I'm afraid Rares." Rainbow Dash made a point of gagging and rolling her eyes simultaneously at the fashionista's not-so enticing offer. "While you're all off making yourselves look silly and frilly, I'll be working on my barrel rolls, patrolling the skies for deadly danger before relaxing at the spa for a nice, relaxing back rub followed by a hooficure for all my tootsies. Any pony who feels brave enough is more than welcome to join me."

Pinkie Pie was just about to open her yap, probably to mention a rival party she'd got planned which would more than compete with Rarity and Rainbow's proposals for thrills, spills and obnoxious hooting, before stopping in her prime. Something had caught her attention and held it in a vice-like grip... and it had something to do with a lavender princess lightly stepping nearby.

"Let's see now... sweaty brow? Check. Face all crinkled up and serious? Check. Staggering along in a zig-zaggy pattern, when the rest of us are headed in one, straight direction? Check, and mate. Ooo, I've seen some bad cases of it before... but this one's a doozie!"

As if the sensation of being examined at close quarters by an inquisitive pink pony wearing a deerskin (actually made of cotton... shh don't tell Rarity) and brandishing a magnifying glass wasn't mortifying enough, it wasn't long before the rest of Twilight's friends were alerted to the ongoing situation as well. Whatever it might be.

There they all stood as a single unit, blocking her progress: umming, erring and shaking their heads sadly as if they were a group of student doctors observing a particularly sick patient in theatre.

Confused passers-by, fresh from the demonic control of the evilllll Sombra glanced at them with mild curiosity as they overtook, but all were far too overawed at being in the presence of true heroes to enquire as to what was going on...

...No matter how loony they might be acting.

"Oh dear..." murmured Fluttershy sadly but simply.

"Yup... looks like she's back on the ol' wagon again." Applejack put it more bluntly.

"Nothing we're not used to by now." Spike made his assessment quickly.

"I do hope those ghastly lines on her forehead aren't permanent..." Rarity knew what was truly important in life.

"Hey, give her some room everypony... this could be serious!" Rainbow Dash demanded, despite being the closest of the looky-loos.

"Seriou... what are you lot jabbering about? And haven't any of you heard of personal boundaries?!" Twilight had had enough of feeling like a goldfish in a particularly cramped bowl, and a sheen of purple magic pushed the nosy parkers away to give her a few more inches of precious space.

"Don't you know? You were just 'Twilighting' again... that's all, silly! We're all used to your temporary flights of insanity by now, so it's nothing to be ashamed of!" Pinkie giggled as if the answer was as obvious as sprinkles on a milkshake.

"I'd love to have a verb named after me... 'Rainbowdashing': the fearless pursuit of daredevilry and aerodynamics, all in one totally cool new word!" Rainbow Dash sighed, wondering if this was perhaps a subtle way to further her already magnificent legacy.

"Ooo! What a good idea! 'Fluttershying' could mean a way to help others in need, or to think of those less fortunate than oneself." Fluttershy also seemed on board with Rainbow's radical idea, if her angelic grin was anything to go by.

"...An' after a hard days 'Applejacking', what better way to see out the evenin' than watchin' the sun go down with a faithful pooch by your side?" Applejack had not only fallen in with the same notion, but had even now apparently added it to her somewhat limited vocabulary.

"Then, when the invitation to the next Galloping Gala plops neatly onto your laminated welcome mat, you can 'Rarity' yourself up to be the toast of the ball!" No prizes for guessing which elite designer took the chance to put forward her suggestion.

"You think you're rough? You're tough? You're buffed?! Then you're SPIKEd!" A certain loyal dragon companion thought, seeing as how he'd overcame a Roc single clawed (almost), he was more than worthy of such a prestigious honour.

"Let me guess... you think 'Pinkiefied' should mean 'be deliriously happy at all times regardless of the gravity of the predicament', and you want me to contact the dictionary people upon our return to make it official... along with all these other 'brilliant' ideas for new words." Usually it was Pinkie Pie who possessed an uncanny knack for reading Twilight's mind, but today it looked like the tables were turned. "Well, I'll be calling them up alright... but to tell them to ban those stupid terms for those definitions forever! And that includes 'Twilighting', before you ask! Now stop being so immature, and we'll hear no more of this foolish nonsense!"

Ignoring the multiple boos and shouts of 'no fair!' going off around her, Twilight sauntered on defiantly with a degree of relief. She was certainly glad to have finally put to bed any notion that her illustrious name could be a permanent byword for 'neurotic navel-gazing'. I don't often like to use my colossal clout as a royal, being a humble librarian at heart. But occasionally it does come in handy, as long as I wield it in moderation. Like now, and when I get first dibs on all the limited first editions...

"P-Princess Twilight Sparkle! I-I've been searching for you all day!" As if to remind the serfs of their proper place, a messenger stallion suddenly appeared in front of the aforementioned mare, wheezing and puffing like Discord doing his best fake-out. "I bring news from Tartarus! The terrible, the abominable, the nigh-on indestructible Cozy Glow has... escaped!! Oh, and Tirek, too."

"W-what?!" Twilight's calm and collected cogitation was once more reduced to stress and strain on her ailing brain. Well, it was nice while it lasted. " Everypony, Cozy and Tirek have done a Luna! We have to Starlight them up, before things really get Celestia around here! Follow me, everyone!"

Such was the urgency of the dilemma that Twilight's blatant hypocrisy and dubious new lingo barely registered among her friends, so with a determined nod the equine champions of justice ran on together to no doubt liberate Equestria once more from the dastardly machinations of a filly barely out of diapers and a decrepit old fossil.

Courage such as this is surely rarer than devilled phoenix eggs.

In the meantime though, a bespectacled chap who'd travelled a long way to be there today suddenly found himself spun around 180 in the wake of Twilight and her buddies' stampede, until his glasses were askew and he didn't know if he was coming, going or about to be sick.

"U-Um, hello?" Sunburst stammered, as he waited for the dizziness and nausea to wear off. "I've been cooped up underground in my study the last few days, working on a decluttering spell. Did I miss anything?"

Author's Note

The show has returned, and so have I. It's going to be a fun next few months, seeing what the final season has in store.

Bye for now! :twistnerd: