Pony Crimes
Criminal Pony Sprees
By the same asshole that wrote “A Pony’s Nightmare” Serindo
Manehatten, Equestria's biggest city next to Canterlot. With a population of over 6.3 million ponies, the city's economy is the largest in the know world. Its the city that never sleeps, night clubs where ponies never stop dancing, bars with some of the best drinks, and gentlecolt clubs with some of the most beautiful mares show their goods to young stallions. Of course, the city has its demons. Drug crime is off the charts, gang activity is everywhere, murder and assault have also increased in the past year. Now one little pony from the small town of Ponyville is on her way here to see an old friend. Young Octavia will introduce to a harsh life of crime and sex, all thanks to her best friend. Prepare yourself, for one fucked up fanfic.
“Welcome Fillies and Gentlecolts to tonight's performs, as the beautiful Octavia shall play her most emotion work of the Green Mile.” The audience draws to a silent as Octavia and her musicians play their song. The crowd sit with tears running down their cheeks as the beautiful music captures their hearts and souls'. Octavia's best friend, Vinyl Scratch (aka DJ-Pon3) watches the live performance on her cellphone miles away in Manehatten.
"Your home girl can play that shit good."
"That's why she's best, and she's also visiting me tomorrow for a whole week!"
"Is that why we're here?"
"Yep, she's gonna need some cash so might as well draw some out."
Vinyl drops her large bag opens it up and pulls out military grade assault rifles and shotguns, she also pulls out disguises.
"What the hell is that?"
"What you think we rob a bank and let everypony know who it was, put it on!"
The three other gangster put on their disguises, one dressed as Twilight Sparkle, another Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, and Pinkie Pie.
"Alright boss, what's the plan."
"Run in there, shoot somepony in the face, make off with cash, be home by bed time... simple!"
"Yeah real simple, till somepony pulls a gun and shoots back."
"Which is why we got bigger guns."
The four enter the bank, the manger greets "Twilight Sparkle" but then notice she's carrying a shotgun.
"Alright everypony you lived in this city long enough to know what to do *shoots once in the air* so just hoof over what we came here for and no pony gets hurt other then yourselves..."
"YEAH MOTHA FUCKA LESS YOU WANT ME, FLUTTERSHY, TO SHOW YOU HOW I PUT DOWN MY ANIMAL FRIENDS!"
The civilians inside cower in fear as the supposed main 4 holds them at gun point. The bank manger leads "Pinkie Pie" to the bank vault, "Rainbow Dash" watches the tellers as the manger fills the saddle banks with the cash. Meanwhile, one of the hostage whispers to another pony.
"Hey you, I'm a gun club member, I'm gonna bring these bitches down you with me?"
"I don't know bro, sounds like a bad idea."
"Yeah they said me playing hoofball with two broken legs was a bad idea, but I scored a tough down and got laid the same night! The world is full of bad ideas, but the rewards are worth it, exceptionally when comes to getting some from a hot mare."
The bank manger finishes filling the saddle bags with the money, the robbers throws the bags over their backs and they begin to leave. The gun club member gets up and shoots "Rainbow Dash", but robbers return fire cutting the stallion down!
"FUCK IT THE DAMN POLICE!"
"Really Mathaw did you think you walk out of here with out a little fun?"
"You didn't trigger the silent alarm did you, Vinyl?"
"Thought we have some fun before we left."
The robbers start exchanging fire with the police. They move outside and head up the street where S.W.A.T. teams and FPI intercept them. The robbers gallop down an alley when Pon3 gets out her cellphone.
"Briks, where the fuck are ya?!"
"What you finished already, guess that explains the police sirens and gun fire I hear."
"Yeah I bet it does get the fucking heli over on Mare Street, we'll meet you there!"
The four leave the alleyway and head down the street to meet up with the chopper, it touches down and the pilot leaves.
"You sure this plan will work?"
"You just hide in the getaway car while I distract them with the heli!"
"Boss you can't even drive stick how the fuck you gonna fly that?!"
"So I'll cause property damage it'll be a learning experience!"
Vinyl climbs in and takes off, the police believe that all the robbers are in the chopper send air units after it. Within four minutes of flight, they shoot a rocket launcher at Vinyl.
"Oh FUCK ME, well if I'm gonna crash might as well do some property damage!"
She then flies the chopper into an eight story building, she gets out of the crashed chopper and starts dancing. "Fuck whose the pony, I'm the pony go Pon3 go Pon3 its ya birthday its... ya... fuck..."
She realizes that she crashed into Manehatten Police Department. Later that day, Vinyl is throw into her cell where she meets other members of her crew.
"Crashing a chopper into the police department is one way to go down."
"Meh, what can I say a mare likes to make her entrance."
“So how we getting out of this bitch?"
“I've already got some of the guys work on getting us bail so they should.... oh... OH... OH IN CELESTIA'S NAME, YES OH YES OOHHH YEEESSSS!"
"Da hell is work with you Mare?"
"Sorry my cellphone is going off in my pocket..."
"Pocket, bitch you not even wearing any cloths what pocket you... what... the... fuck...."
"Wish I didn't just see that..."
"What, I had to hide it somewhere.... Yo who's calling? OCTAVIA OH MY GOD WHAT'S UP?!"
"Nothing much just got home from the concert, packing my things before I leave tomorrow, you?"
"Just taking care of business I'll be home tomorrow to greet you can't wait, later babe."
"Tomorrow, the crew is coming to bail us out that soon."
"They should be *large explosion goes off in the background, followed by gun fire* That's our bail."
A guard is shot in front of the cell, Vinyl's crew shows up unlocks the gate and they begin to leave. Vinyl needs to get home quick, she's got clean her room up, organize her music, dispose the dead body in her living room, Such a messing pony she is.
